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Can you unbreak a heart?

I wish there was a way to corral all the bad girls in Atlanta together and make them face the trail of broken hearts they left behind. There are so any wounded men walking around this city. Talk about The Walking Dead – dead inside!

I have heard a lot of horror stories from men who are left bitter, scorned, gun-shy. They tell me they are in no hurry to take a leap of faith on another “pathetic broad” – (That’s right, women often become broads or females post bad breakups).

I have personally had to listen to a man call his ex Satan on our first date. Another, said his ex-wife had no soul. Of course, I sympathize and empathize with broken-hearted men. I have been there before too! I just don’t know if I can handle the challenge of un-breaking a guy’s heart, restoring his faith in women again. It just sounds exhausting! (I’m lazy, I know)

What can you do when you meet someone great but they are not open to anything meaningful because of what the last person did to them? Do you think waiting it out and proving you are different then their ex is a smart move?

Have you ever met someone who is suffering from a heartbreak, yet they want still want to date you and see where it goes?

Did you ever go through a bitter phase? How did you get through it? Did you put dating on the back burner or were you actively seeking a rebound person?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

597 comments Add your comment

xkp1

July 26th, 2012
7:03 am

“There are so any wounded men…”

“…many wounded…”, maybe?

i know, it is early :-)

Lily

July 26th, 2012
7:27 am

I don’t believe any one of us possess that kind of power. Seems too big of a task to take on. I wouldn’t want someone to undertake my broken heart in that capacity and certainly, I wouldn’t.

Ray Charles to the BS

July 26th, 2012
7:30 am

I bet they forgot about Karma or the trail of tears that they left behind as well. I do respect folks who take time to heal before subjecting someone else to their last dysfunction. The Golden rule is not just a “good Idea”, its a fundemental cornerstone to staying healthy!

Exiled!

July 26th, 2012
7:37 am

How does a person love somebody to point where there heart gets ‘broken’ when they divorce or break up??

Can somebody tell me and measure for me the magnitude of that love?

Yes,they are folks who are walking dead because they poured All their hearts foolishly and in their wildest of dreams,never imagined in a thousand years that a divorce or break up could happen. Never ever in a thousand years!

But that’s FOOLISH!!!

Exiled!

July 26th, 2012
7:38 am

To a point where their heart!

Exiled!

July 26th, 2012
7:42 am

How can somebody be ‘great’ if they are not being open with their heart to u? How do u see their so called ‘greatness’?

oddmanout

July 26th, 2012
8:09 am

Good Morning!!

WOW!! Another good one!! Where do I start?? Call it being bitter or wounded or whatever you wanna call it. Just like a Lady needs to protect herself from being hurt, especially post deep relationship, a man needs to do the same. Grant it, they are not handled the same way but are very similar. I can say this because I am a guy that cant get too deep with another person. Ive just come across some real off that wall guys and that is something coming from one of the most off the wall person that I know, Me.
Next thing, no one can fix a broken heart except for the peron with the broken heart, they themselves must be willing to move on from that heartbreak by really moving on. Dont get caught in Heartbreak Hotel, there are people that prey off thoses poor souls. Only advice i can give is to first figure out he stands with himself as far as relationships go. If you notice that you are not ready to pursue a relationship with him at that moment in time, tell him. Its not the words that you say, its the tone you deliver it in.

Have a Grand One ^_^

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
8:39 am

Once the heart is broken you can’t unbreak it can heal and be mended. I can’t say much to a man that’s broken except hurry and get over it. A lady with a broken heart is different, the advice I would give her is get focused on something else you like so you can live a healthy productive life. I have seen many women with hearts broken try to re-live the old days they had with their man. Stop that and find new friends this is no time to be closed in you have to re-acclimate yourself to a new you.

Good Morning:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
8:52 am

“What can you do when you meet someone great but they are not open to anything meaningful because of what the last person did to them?”

This is why many end up in a funk, some people think they can force the issue. They know you don’t want anything and yet they try to make you feel they are the greatest lover for you. We are no one’s savior so let that person make up in their own mind when or if they will ever be ready for you.

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
8:53 am

First of all GOooood morning (Today is my Friday wooo hooo hooo)

What can you do when you meet someone great but they are not open to anything meaningful because of what the last person did to them? Do you think waiting it out and proving you are different then their ex is a smart move?

What can you do…..you keep it moving. Wait it out? HEYALLLLL NAw…Men get on women all the time for not acceping what a man says in the beginning, hoping they are going to be that great of a woman to change his mind. So 10 years down the line you’re wondering why it has not progressed to what you always hoped for. Can’t blame anyone but yourself.

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
8:59 am

IMO, if a man spends that much time dwelling on his ex, it’s not over for them and I got to chuck up the deuces.

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
9:01 am

Very interesting topic because I’ve been wondering the same thing myself. I’ve come up with the only way to unbreak one’s heart is to remind yourself of your “worth.” It is up to that person to heal and move onward and upward. If one looks to another to do it, disappointment will probably set in because no other person can make a person better if they’re not doing it themselves. Acknowledge your part in the “break” (if there’s blame for you to shoulder), and work toward doing things differently in the future.

“What can you do when you meet someone great but they are not open to anything meaningful because of what the last person did to them?” – This is simple. If they’re not open to anything meaningful, then I need to keep it moving. I’m no Clara Barton . I don’t have the time to fix someone’s broken heart if they’re willingly walking around wounded all the time. Dealing with an emotional closed person only dooms my own happiness.

Good morning.

Roberta

July 26th, 2012
9:02 am

Unbreak my heart. Sounds likes a pretty good title for a song. Anywho, time takes care of everything. Even broken hearts.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
9:03 am

Slmi1 I was going to add while that person is still pissed about their last relationship they are the kind you don’t want to get involved with. They will always bring up things that person done to them, they can never really get over the hump. There aint nothing there to wait for because the other person has used all their juices up.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
9:07 am

Leggs very well said at 9:01.

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
9:08 am

BF – And who would want to be around someone like that anyway…a debbie downer. I’m pretty much a happy go lucky person and i don’t want to always have to debate that every situation is different and everyone isn’t like your ex that you’re bitter about. That’s like constantly having to sell yourself to someone who can’t hear or see. Too much damn energy i’ll tell you that much.

DreamsMaterialize

July 26th, 2012
9:12 am

Morning
You can’t unbreak someone’s heart, and if someone is still suffering from hurt in past relationships, there’s nothing you can do about that. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment if you think you can “heal” them and make them believe again. People need to heal BEFORE they get into new relationships.

Single and Happy (Morning ladies ( looking for the grammar police:)

July 26th, 2012
9:14 am

Getting over a broken heart isn’t easy, but mine always seems to come unexpected in the form of a new love. Without all the extra baggage!

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
9:16 am

Interesing story I read on this subject said that however long the relaionship lasts, you were breaking up half of that time. So, if you were together 5 yrs, you were “breaking up” for 2.5. Therefore, if it took you 2.5 to leave, won’t it probably take that long to heal? Anyone you meet in the interim (no matter how great they are) will not be able to help you out of that process.

ThirdWheel

July 26th, 2012
9:20 am

Did you ever go through a bitter phase? How did you get through it? Did you put dating on the back burner or were you actively seeking a rebound person?

Good Morning Yall!!
I am going through a bitter phase now. I still live with my ex though and it’s a nightmare. I tried moving on to someone else but, he ended up a loser and a user too. Now I have come to the conclusion that God just wants me to live alone until my dying day. I’m fine with that and I am in the process of planning for life for one. The men out here are foolish and I don’t have time to be used and played with. As long as they make C batteries I will be good!

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
9:24 am

Comon Sense….um, did you mean Common Sense? ijs lol

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
9:24 am

ThirdWheel

God doesn’t want you to live alone until your dying day- I think that is definitely the bitter phase talking. But maybe there is work for you to do before God sends you the right person? IJS…

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
9:26 am

SlimUno-

Nope, I meant Comon Cents. I figure that it’s damn sure not common anymore so maybe we should change the spelling.

disco

July 26th, 2012
9:28 am

good morning.

I don’t deny there are broken-hearted men walking around but my first thought upon reading diva’s comment re the men and the ex bashing was that some of it’s game. how so? if you operate under the predator/prey assumption, some guys know which chicks to prey on. they can smell the weak on them. these guys think if they tell a certain kind of woman all about the bad of the last woman that the new woman will do all in her power not to be/act the same way. truth of the matter is, there are some ditzy broads out there that will try to “love” him better than the last one. if he complains the ex didn’t cook, she’ll try to cook more. if he claims the ex kept a nasty house, she tries to keep hers neater. you get the picture. they want all the dirt on the ex so they have a “guide book” on how to act or not act. shame on them (the chicks who are simple enough to get caught up) I say.

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
9:29 am

3rd Wheel – How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

Comon Cents

July 26th, 2012
9:32 am

disco

I have to give you the “Amen!” to that! Honestly, I really don’t want to hear about your ex. Especially when you talk about her like a dog, but then y’all were together for 9 years. If she was such a biotch why did you stay for 9 years?!? AND you’re still talking about her to anyone who’ll listen? Puh-leez!

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
9:33 am

Morning, all!

I can’t “unbreak” anyone’s heart; not even my own. Each has to heal in his or her own time and own way.

I do, however, now have the song stuck in my head. Thanks for that, Diva.

Unbreak my heart….say you love me again…..

Celisea

July 26th, 2012
9:33 am

Morning,

It’s simple, heal yourself or allow yourself to heal before embarking on a new love.

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
9:37 am

CS – Alrigyty then

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
9:43 am

@C: Dang! We have the twink connection going – we said almost the same thing. LOL

Celisea

July 26th, 2012
9:48 am

ITL – Heeeey! Noticed the time? Same time too :)

disco

July 26th, 2012
9:49 am

wonder twin power – ACTIVATE!

Celisea

July 26th, 2012
9:51 am

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
9:54 am

Form of….an ice ladder! :)

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
9:54 am

@disco: I used to love the Superfriends, and the Wonder Twins were one of my faves. I loved their little purple monkey. What was his name? Gleep??

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
10:04 am

Thought this fitting for today’s topic

Speak life to your broken dreams today. Stay in an attitude of faith and expectancy, and as you do, God will take you places that you’ve never dreamed. He’ll make something beautiful out of every broken place in your life!

D Dub of the ATL (back to his roots)

July 26th, 2012
10:05 am

From personal experience, there are two things that mend a broken heart for a man – Time, and an EXCEPTIONAL woman. Please note the word exceptional – a good woman isn’t enough anymore. My ex-wife will forever be referred to as Grimace because she started looking like the McDonald’s character and I grimace every time I am forced to think about her.

Back to the recovery… it actually took two women to bring me back. I was weighed down in self-doubt, and was constantly wondering what I did to deserve being treated so crappy. Those two ladies made me realize that the only thing I did wrong was decide to marry a psychopath. At the end of the day, I am still the same person I was pre-marriage (with a few new battle scars), and there was nothing wrong with me. A few months ago I made a trip back to the city that she lives in and ran into the guy she had been sleeping with the entire time we were married – for the longest time I wanted to punch this dude in the face… but when I actually had the opportunity, the only thing I could do was tell him thank you. He probably did me the biggest favor anyone has done in my life. Marrying that skank was one of the dumbest things I did in my life, and I have lived to tell the story without any kids, and without any significant debt.

Today I am in love with a beautiful woman that is going to have my first child early next year – time and time again, she has shown that she has my back in any situation, trusts me unequivocally, and appreciates and allows me to be a man – something my ex never did and probably will never be capable of.

An Exceptional Woman and Time. That’s all you need.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
10:06 am

Hello lady’s, what’s the happenings with my sisters? Is baby Rella doing good, just so you know I caught up with For Real he should be coming soon with some pampers and milk..

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
10:08 am

O/T: Just found out one of the GM’s of a nearby hotel we send dealers to, died of a massive heart attack last night. He was just in here Tuesday and was supposed to buy my department lunch today. I’ve had chills ever since I found out…he wasn’t even old, over weight nor sick. You just never know these days. Wow :shock:

disco

July 26th, 2012
10:08 am

D Dub – nice little story. I love the term grimace. too funny. congratulations on your comeback. I have to ask though, if a broken hearted man never meets and “exceptional” woman, is he doomed for all time?

Celisea

July 26th, 2012
10:10 am

D Dub – Beautiful story. I’ve read you on here before. Your tone is much different.

I have to wonder to on this –> I have to ask though, if a broken hearted man never meets and “exceptional” woman, is he doomed for all time?

Could it be coincidental that as you nearly healed, you met a good woman?

SlimUno

July 26th, 2012
10:11 am

D Dub – So what happened with the chick before your current exceptional woman…did you drive her away with your bitterness?

disco

July 26th, 2012
10:12 am

C – not “good”. good isn’t enough anymore. lol.

Celisea

July 26th, 2012
10:12 am

Time is really all you need :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 26th, 2012
10:12 am

Slim1 sorry to hear that, I saw on the news yesterday there is a 34 year grandma and the child is 13 months. Meaning she was a grandma at age 33, I hope this aint a new trend for parenting.

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
10:12 am

Heeeey, Uncle Foote! Good lookin’ out. :) No chicken franks for you at the BBQ; nope, you get a steak! :lol:

Celisea

July 26th, 2012
10:12 am

disco – I caught that…whew

Into the Light

July 26th, 2012
10:13 am

@Slim: I’m so sorry to hear that. :(

Leggs

July 26th, 2012
10:13 am

Nice post, D Dub! Glad to got to the other side. Nice!

ThirdWheel

July 26th, 2012
10:14 am

Hey Slim I am 32 years old