Trust your ex around your next?
I am stumped on this latest dating misadventure. I am lucky enough not to have experienced this one:
One of our readers is slightly freaking out since her ex ?? (um ex-fling/hook up/random guy to past the time with just befriended her new man. At this point, she is unsure if it was deliberate or if they simply met each other through friends innocently. To make matters worse, he has a little dirt on her. Just enough to make the new man’s opinion of her change. (She won’t say what it is, specifically but my imagination is working overtime).
I can say that if an ex of mine met my new beau, I’d probably freak out a little bit too. I just don’t know what my exes could say or do to wreck things. Why would the want to?
What would you do if your ex and your new mate became buddies or BFFs. Would you worry about what would be revealed about you?
Is this good reason to have full disclosures in a new relationship. That way, you won’t worry about something coming out before you want it to?
Have you ever met an ex partner of your significant other?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
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409 comments Add your comment
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
3:59 pm
disco – I wish a friend would try and convince me to date someone that robbed a bank. Remember not too long ago I mentioned a friend that set me up with a friend (yeeeears ago), and he was paroled for murder?!?! I was hot with her. I asked her why didn’t she date him.
disco
July 25th, 2012
4:00 pm
I have certain family members/old acquaintances that’ll be like “what’s up with you? I was thinking about coming down that way to check you out”. in my mind I’m like oh heyall naw but I play it off. so far I’ve managed to avoid any unwanted visitors.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:01 pm
ITL – I’m a Kraft only gal
Oh and as for as ketchup for the OM dogs, it’s Heinz only. Cannot do Hunts…lol
Kimmie – I hear you. I understand.
Mmeello – Chile hush…lol
Jake...SPJTWB
July 25th, 2012
4:01 pm
Disco…okay, it just sounded familiar….lol
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:02 pm
ITL – If by chance, For Real comes through with steaks, tell him to bring A1. We do NOT put ketchup on steaks. Notice I said “we?” We’re twins. We share and share alike
disco
July 25th, 2012
4:03 pm
y’all done went from fried bologna to steaks. and with the quickness too.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:05 pm
disco – For Real is a rolling stone, we gotta get while the getting is good. He promised to come through. We might not see him again until the baby’s next birthday. So, if we can get steaks instead of chicken franks, it’s gonna be a bbq
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:06 pm
If a steak is cooked properly, it shouldn’t need anything. But if I do sauce, it’ll be A1.
On the mayo, though, I’m a Duke’s girl. 
@disco – a girl’s gotta dream big, right? can’t do bologna all the time.
kimmie
July 25th, 2012
4:06 pm
Dont like that stress
Exiled – Exactly! And if something were to ever happen to any of my family & friends on account of some mess I brought around them, I would never forgive myself!
And even my family & friends that I do deal with that got into trouble in the past KNOW not to bring that mess around me or mine should they ever fall off the wagon.
Cel – What I have a problem with is that it seems to be okay for men to be selective, but a woman, especially a single one, does not have the same luxury. Like you said, why didn’t your friend date parole dude?? If he wasn’t good enough for her, why’d she think he would do for you?
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:07 pm
Shoot, I’m trying to pool up these gas cards to pay for Rella’s cake, but looks like I’m gonna have to bake it myself.
Jake...SPJTWB
July 25th, 2012
4:08 pm
Well Cel, i am with you on the condiments, which one of you nastymouths use 57 Sauce for any reason…A1 only on Steaks.
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:09 pm
If he wasn’t good enough for her, why’d she think he would do for you?
And like you said earlier, Kimmie, that kind of past follows someone forever. Doesn’t mean he’s not forgiven and reformed, but it will always be there.
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:10 pm
@Jake: You’re welcome to come to the bbq, but it’s BYOM – bring your own meat.
exiled
July 25th, 2012
4:11 pm
just got out of jail barbecue” was funny to me..i know it happens…
I remember back in the day when my cousin got outta jail 2 years for fraud..we had a party….i was younger much younger…then i had an uncle who also did 3 or so years for fraud….
dont be jealous..my folks are educated,they do smart,cooking the books kinda crime!
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:11 pm
Kimmie – I’m with you 100% No way am I going to lower my standards in the realm of dating for anyone. Men getting a free pass on a whole bunch of stuff we can in no way get away with…will probably always be. That’s why it’s foreign to them (IMO), to see a woman with standards. She’s faking, flossing, fronting, lying or hiding her past. No way can she be stand up….it seems…to most of them. IMO, this low opinion they have of women is from their experience. What they fail to realize (again IMO), is that they’ve not dated all and should not assume every chick is busted up and black on the inside. Bitter and mad at the world. Trrrust me, most think you have a stick up your butt because you’ll cut ‘em off with the quickness, no hanging on. No, it’s not always easy but a good woman can do it and keep it moving. But I so agree, that they can pretty much do whatever the heck they like to any chick (allowed of course), and THEN want to have their pick of the litter.
Yeah, I was hot with her and we are no longer friends…lol
ITL – My brother always says that. I’m not a big red meat eater. I’m mostly chicken and fish. Okay, if it’s done right, no A1 needed. I’ll have to bring my own Kraft I see…lol
Jake...SPJTWB
July 25th, 2012
4:12 pm
ITL…I always bring my meat…..would you like some of this Sausage?
kimmie
July 25th, 2012
4:13 pm
Dang, yall got me wanting some bbq now. And I thought I had had enough for the summer!LOL!
Ex – That’s funny, that “smart” crime!LOL!!
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:13 pm
Nah, C. I’ll pick you up a little jar to keep at my house.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:13 pm
MMeello – LOLOL
Kimmie – I think we’re on the same page in that regard.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:14 pm
ITL – Awww, thanks twink
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:14 pm
Thanks, Jake, but um….I’m good. But when you stop to get your meat, can you pick up some milk and pampers for baby Rella? I’ll pay you when you get here…..
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:15 pm
ITL – LOLOLOL
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:16 pm
Me too, Kimmie. And of all things, I’m craving some brisket. WTH? I’m usually all about the swine.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:16 pm
ITL – We should make it a block party. No cover charge but please have (baby) item in hand. For Real will handle the food for all. Daddy’s home for a week, we have to get while the getting is good.
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:16 pm
See there, C??? I’m learning…..
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:18 pm
C – you better say “new” baby item, because you know pooky ‘nem gonna roll up with Boomquisha’s stained bib trying to crash the party.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:19 pm
ITL – LOLOLOL…another good one. Riiight, “new baby item” in hand. You will be turned around if the item is not in it’s original packaging
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:19 pm
ITL – Didn’t you see the block party on Good Times for Wanda? I think it was Wanda
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:19 pm
…..with gift receipt. I am not dressing baby Rella in any ill-gotten garments.
kimmie
July 25th, 2012
4:20 pm
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:20 pm
Oh, the rent party/talent show??? I love that episode.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:20 pm
Okay….if we get low, we can return Okay that was ghetto fab but that’s the life we’re living right now. With For Real being a rolling stone, this seems to be our lot currently.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:21 pm
Yep, that’s the one
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:22 pm
Remember they did the Pointer Sister’s song? Flo sounding every bit like a man?? LOLOL
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:23 pm
Whatever we have to do, we’ll do. Baby Rella comes first. And don’t make me get to customer service and show out because something’s on sale now and they don’t want to give me a full price refund. Nope.
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:25 pm
LOL. Yep. And the one where they went down to the taxi garage and put on a talent show because Keith had to work on Christmas? smh @ Florida thinking she can sing.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:25 pm
ITL – I’m happy to help show my tail for getting the original price. That money might pay a bill or something. Or at least get OM franks. We can’t live off of what daddy’s doing a year from now. We have to be proactive in getting the things baby Rella needs. So, new baby item, in original packaging, with receipt. There, that should do it.
disco
July 25th, 2012
4:26 pm
re ”smart” crimes. those are the folks I just don’t trust and can’t get with. they are in line with the common thief as far as I’m concerned. stealing is one thing I’ve never played. I might be able to dig deep and justify other criminal charges but not stealing (after all i watch westerns and some folks need killing. lol). I’ll never justify a thief’s actions. folks will make the argument “what if you are hungry or your kids are hungry”. I respond then you ask somebody for something to eat. no cause for stealing. dot.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:26 pm
Yep…was that when they did the Supreme’s Stop in the Name of Love? Flo sanging from her belly sounded like a Floyd
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:26 pm
My co-workers think I have lost it. I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying.
Leggs
July 25th, 2012
4:27 pm
“ITL…I always bring my meat…..would you like some of this Sausage?”
“But when you stop to get your meat, can you pick up some milk and pampers for baby Rella? I’ll pay you when you get here….. ”
ITL ~ you do realize he doesn’t have to stop anywhere to get his meat???
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:28 pm
disco – I’m loving “dot”…think I’ll borrow that. Thanks MMeello
Stop in the naaaaame of luuuve, befoe u breaaak my haaart….
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:29 pm
disco – My cousin just told her kids the other day, she’ll get them out of jail for anything but stealing. She said there’s no need to steal when they can ask for what they want.
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:30 pm
@Leggs: No worries. He can still stop and get some ketchup. Oh, and baby Rella some stuff, too.
kimmie
July 25th, 2012
4:30 pm
disco – I’m with you on the stealing.
Leggs
July 25th, 2012
4:30 pm
Celisea ~ I told mine if she finds herself in jail, I won’t be visiting her!
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:31 pm
Leggs – Me either. I might accept the collect calls though
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:32 pm
I’m with y’all on the stealing.
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
4:32 pm
@C: if you don’t, I will. After all, we do share a birthday!
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
4:32 pm
Me too…hands down, stealing is not necessary