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Trust your ex around your next?

I am stumped on this latest dating misadventure. I am lucky enough not to have experienced this one:

One of our readers is slightly freaking out since her ex ?? (um ex-fling/hook up/random guy to past the time with just befriended her new man. At this point, she is unsure if it was deliberate or if they simply met each other through friends innocently. To make matters worse, he has a little dirt on her. Just enough to make the new man’s opinion of her change. (She won’t say what it is, specifically but my imagination is working overtime).

I can say that if an ex of mine met my new beau, I’d probably freak out a little bit too. I just don’t know what my exes could say or do to wreck things. Why would the want to?

What would you do if your ex and your new mate became buddies or BFFs. Would you worry about what would be revealed about you?

Is this good reason to have full disclosures in a new relationship. That way, you won’t worry about something coming out before you want it to?

Have you ever met an ex partner of your significant other?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

409 comments Add your comment

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
2:54 pm

ITL – I don’t know the meaning but I have black coal underneath each eye. Too much? Okay, Imma need to know why I’m carry deer tee tee…before I do that

Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)

July 25th, 2012
2:54 pm

Kimmie these days it’s all high risk, (the woman who didn’t tell her boyfriend she was HIV positive)

Jake...SPJTWB

July 25th, 2012
2:55 pm

Free Wesley!!!!!

What up folks?

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
2:55 pm

LOLOLOL….stooooop

Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)

July 25th, 2012
2:58 pm

Celisea the only reason the people I know carry deer tee tee is to attract a big buck :-)

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
2:58 pm

Wesley career is shot, he’ll aways be a prisoner to banning black on black relationships and he’s got taxes to pay. It won’t even matter at this point…lol

Exiled!

July 25th, 2012
2:58 pm

Kimmie..but All I’m saying is,because they went to prison wld u assume they experimented?

And wldnt u take somebody based on who they are now not who they were before?

On the medical I’m thinking that u go for Medicaid to get tested before u take it 3 steps further,Right?

and it’s a two way street..coz both the man and woman had prior relations….look at this Juanita thing..who wldnt have thought she went there….??

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
2:59 pm

Single and Happy – Whoa

ITL – ??? Please explain and quickly. I have deer tee tee on my person.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
2:59 pm

@C: Let’s just say For Real’s coupe de ville is gonna smell like a port-a-potty at Bambi’s family reunion. Shhhhh…don’t tell. :)

Exiled!

July 25th, 2012
2:59 pm

Go for medical not Medicaid! Lol

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:01 pm

Mmeello – Honestly, I would hold nothing against someone, ESPECIALLY if they’ve accepted Christ. I’m broad enough in thought to know no sin is greater than another.

For medical reasons though, I’m not going there…period.

Why is a thing incredible to believe Juanita dabbled? She’s a person like the rest of us. If I like sex, the freaky sneaky as well as you, I’m sure she does.

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:01 pm

ITL – Goooootcha…lololololol That works for me.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:02 pm

@Ex: I think you’re making a huge assumption that all men who go to jail are gay for the stay. I doubt that’s the case.

Leggs

July 25th, 2012
3:02 pm

I see you guys been doing a lot of talking.

Celisea ~ I may be wrong because I don’t know a lot about certain sports, but I think the black coal under the eyes helps to reduce the glare from the sun. I think???

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:02 pm

For Real – We’re coming for you :evil: Pay up and all of this will end

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 25th, 2012
3:03 pm

Ok folks have a good evening, it is back to the nineties again might hit a hundred today. Stay Cool or try your best to.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:03 pm

@Leggs: In this case, it’s part of our undercover ops. Shhhhhh……

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:04 pm

Mmeello – You are very narrow in your thinking. I agree ITL, I bet many have come in and been released without getting into all that mess.

Leggs – Okay thanks. I was just caught in the outfit and fatigues, I figured it would enhance

Leggs

July 25th, 2012
3:04 pm

I don’t think every man in prison is down for the man on man swerve. I’d like to think not everyone in there is being raped.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:05 pm

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:05 pm

I have a cousin in there…he said it’s mostly the really young cats coming in that’s victimized. Not all though.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:05 pm

…..and I’m pretty sure they sell lotion at the canteen. IJS…..

disco

July 25th, 2012
3:06 pm

single and happy – you must have missed the memo re me walking the line. I don’t exaggerate my background. back then I was straight up round the way girl. holding things down. I could make “cookies” right now if I had to.

ex – do you assume that everyone that went to college smoked weed? do you assume that everyone who went to camp experimented with all the other campers? just curious.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 25th, 2012
3:06 pm

LOL…….@Light go get ‘em I knew you could handle yourself.

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:07 pm

disco – I can answer that for ex. Yes, yes, yes and yes. Remember yesterday he assumed anybody gone out on 3 dates had already smashed.

kimmie

July 25th, 2012
3:09 pm

Single – Yep, that’s why both parties need to protect themselves!

Exiled – No, there are certain things you did before that you can’t live down with me. I’m sure there are people that are will accept that, but I wouldn’t. Just like some dudes have said on this very blog they wouldn’t marry a woman that used to strip. I have a right to my preferences. You’re right it’s a 2 way street. Hopefully if a guy chose to deal with a woman that was promiscuous or used to sell her body or shoot up drugs, he would look out for himself as well.

That’s just a world I want nothing to do with, Exiled. I have friends that have done time and I accept them. Doesn’t mean I have to marry them though. I have a right to be choosy in that respect just like you men do. Not the kind of guy I would take home to family.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:09 pm

….and remember the time he said women who drink beer from the bottle are low-class?

Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)

July 25th, 2012
3:09 pm

Disco, yea I missed that memo, trying to play catch up

Exiled!

July 25th, 2012
3:10 pm

Ok..I hear ITL…I guess u ladies have some screenometer of some sort..

I watch Lockup on msnbc too much..

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:11 pm

And speaking of drinking beer from a bottle, it’s almost FOOTBALL SEASON!!!

Kimmie, you got those chillren ready to be DGDs yet??? :)

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:11 pm

ITL – I guess I’m an urchin then…lol

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:12 pm

Mmeello – You have kids now…just remember that. They’re gonna grow up and it’s not going to be all roses and candyland.

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:13 pm

And when they make mistakes, you can’t write them off. You have to be open minded to help them. If you’re closed minded now, who’s going to help them if not mom or dad?

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:13 pm

I don’t know who “u ladies” are or what a “screenometer” is, but I do know what I will and will not tolerate and what I am and am not comfortable with……

Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)

July 25th, 2012
3:13 pm

Statements that make you hmmmmm (ex)

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:14 pm

Yep, me too. I’m good forgiving anybody. I’m not perfect nor am I God. The same folks snubbed will beat the “better thans” in heaven. Even so, you been with a dude, no can do.

disco

July 25th, 2012
3:14 pm

C – you have a cousin there? just one? lol. right now, I’ve got three cousins inside. one for murder, one for robbery and another on drug charges. I’ve got a few others sitting in county jails doing “short time”. I have two that just dodged bullets. one was facing attempted murder/aggravated robbery charges. he sat in county for a year. charges were reduced and he got time served. another just had similar charges dismissed.

EX – I watch lock up all the time too but I’m not caught up on the inmates. there are just as many men walking around creeping with each other that have never even been in trouble with the law. is one really any better than the other?

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:15 pm

The same folks that snubbed, the “better thans” will get beat into heaven by the no do gooders…is where I was going.

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:16 pm

disco – There are bigger creeps creeping with dudes that’s free. I agree. Being narrow minded can REALLY blind you from reality.

Exiled!

July 25th, 2012
3:16 pm

No ITL didn’t say they are ‘low class’ but it’s a No No for me…i stereotype them bad!

If u drink from the bottle and are cool with it,fine but Exiled wld not step to u if he saw it.. :lol:

I don’t define low class low class defines itself

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:16 pm

dudes that ARE free….

Jake...SPJTWB

July 25th, 2012
3:16 pm

Eddie Long and Juanita Bynum….she both looked like they would play both sides.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:16 pm

LOL@C. If drinking beer from a bottle is the benchmark of a lady and her level of class, y’all might as well come on over to the shack to visit me. We can sit in the car on blocks in the front yard and drink The Beast out of bottles. And shoot out the windows of the high-falutin’ neighbors with their big ole fancy mobile (prounounced Moe-Bile) home.

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:17 pm

Mmeello – Answer me this, what’s low class about drinking from a beer bottle? Wouldn’t the act of drinking be worse? So drinking from a mug is better? So if she got drunk downing 20 mugs of beer over bottles you would think better of her?

Jake...SPJTWB

July 25th, 2012
3:18 pm

Disco…you aint from Jersey are you?

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:18 pm

ITL – LOLOLOL…okaaay. Please include this urchin and save me a couple of windows to shoot out.

Into the Light

July 25th, 2012
3:18 pm

(ITL now making a note to only drink champagne from a crystal flute at the blog meet and greet, so as not to lose out on Ex “stepping to her” – with his married-a$$ self!)

For Real

July 25th, 2012
3:19 pm

For Real: Look ITL lets stop all dis here fightin. You know I love you gurllll. Now here take deese….

(ITL is now undoing her blouse.) No, no not this time baby but Real likes it when you proactive… No take deese 7 $2 gas cards..

ITL: Naw For Real I ain’t fallin for that again!

For Real: Hold on now baby… we a team now and the gas cards ain’t all I’m giving you. Here take deese $1 cash rebates on the gas cards from Spokeo.

ITL: I don’t know For Real..

For Real: Awww come now you know I got you. I got another order of stuff coming in any minute now and we’ll be able to go white water rafting or some pottery ish at 75% off. Yo choice baby cause that how we do baby.

ITL: Okay For Real. Will I see you tonight?

For Real: Shhhh! (traffic report on the radio.. 18 wheeler turned over on 258 South) Baby I gots to go my shipment just came in! Now you know Imma see my baby tonight. Now go on and make sure you have on dem scratch n sniff.. the vanilla kinda and make sure we got some hotdogs so I can fry you some afterwards.

ITL: ohhh For Real you going to spoil me.

Celisea

July 25th, 2012
3:20 pm

ITL – Yeah, he’s rubbed up against a few blog legs in his married day…lol I guess that’s not worse than a chick drinking from a bottle.

Exiled!

July 25th, 2012
3:20 pm

Lol Cel with kids

Remember once I said when a parent’s kid is a prostitute their eyes and image of her changes coz it’s their own lol

She will be bringing me money during the day but be on peachtree street at nite

It will be dandy :lol: