Trust your ex around your next?
I am stumped on this latest dating misadventure. I am lucky enough not to have experienced this one:
One of our readers is slightly freaking out since her ex ?? (um ex-fling/hook up/random guy to past the time with just befriended her new man. At this point, she is unsure if it was deliberate or if they simply met each other through friends innocently. To make matters worse, he has a little dirt on her. Just enough to make the new man’s opinion of her change. (She won’t say what it is, specifically but my imagination is working overtime).
I can say that if an ex of mine met my new beau, I’d probably freak out a little bit too. I just don’t know what my exes could say or do to wreck things. Why would the want to?
What would you do if your ex and your new mate became buddies or BFFs. Would you worry about what would be revealed about you?
Is this good reason to have full disclosures in a new relationship. That way, you won’t worry about something coming out before you want it to?
Have you ever met an ex partner of your significant other?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
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409 comments Add your comment
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 25th, 2012
1:51 pm
I tried to tell these dudes y’all are some keen and smart women they must think I’m BSing.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
1:57 pm
Blackfoote – There’s a saying from Shakespere, “doth thou protest too much” or as originally stated “the lady doth protest too much.” Stop sweating it. It’s just a blog. When we shut down and go home, that’s it….I think (ha ha). Really, people take it way too seriously. Sometimes folks don’t blog because they don’t like who’s blogging…seriously? Or sometimes we have cliques and folks will only blog with who they like….seriously? Sometimes folks attack cowardly. Pooh and blah to all that crap. It’s just a place to pass the time while we work. Just say what you like and feel and keep it moving. If you know you didn’t do it or say it, forget about it
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
2:06 pm
ITL now sending For Real a bill for replacing her earring backs, sandal buckles, toilet seats, and work to repair her car.
You are crazy, man.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 25th, 2012
2:06 pm
Cely you’re absolutley right, let me take my boxing gloves off. That’s a done deal.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:08 pm
I have a headache that I cannot shake. It’s not a migraine. I’ve had it about 2.5 days now….geesh
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
2:08 pm
ITL now posting pictures of Baby Rella with a caption saying, “Daddy, I’m hungry, too!” on all the vending machines at For Real’s job, next to a picture of For Real wolfin’ down a honey bun.
kimmie
July 25th, 2012
2:11 pm
SCool – I agree. Some folks like to keep mess going though. And as far as the past stuff goes, you grown, own it.
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
2:11 pm
@C: It might be the barometric pressure. Try taking an antihisamine (like Zyrtec or Claritin) with an Advil. Sudafed with Advil works, too.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:13 pm
ITL – You are a walking “pedia”…lol ITLpedia. Thanks boo
Well, I guess you can get results when the courts can’t. I burst out laughing at For Real and all his “undoings”…lol
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
2:15 pm
LOL@C! Gurrrrl, you ought to see me at trivia.
For Real had me cracking up. I’m still printing those posters, though. I’ll come by and scoop you up to help me hang them.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:17 pm
ITL – I bet you are Ms. Trivia…lol I’m not surprised one bit
Yeah, I’m down rolling out. I just need to change into my fatigues and grab my brass knuckles.
exiled
July 25th, 2012
2:18 pm
Cel..is it a liquor headache..
its ok if u went the debauchery route and came back,took a kneel to God to repent…
I was reading the ajc last nite and came across a story in there where Prophettes Juanita Bynum was talking to Frank and said she been with women in the past….did uall read that…. shes been with both men and women in the cut.
Thats explains All that crazzy_heezy in the parking lot with Bishop Weeks….
Pray for Juanita folks…..ofcourse pray for the Bishop as well…
I mean Eddie!
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:18 pm
Barometric pressure…whodda thunk it? I wouldn’t have.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 25th, 2012
2:19 pm
Light can baby Rella hang out with uncle Foote while you’re hanging the signs on the vending machines. Those 2.00 dollar gas cards came in handy.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:20 pm
MMeello – You are a riot….I burst out laughing again. I’m expecting real soon to get a call from my manager saying your neighbors are reporting that you’re too loud and too much laughing…lol
Not liquor headache…lol
Thats explains All that crazzy_heezy in the parking lot with Bishop Weeks….
Y’all hard on religious folks. I’m glad I’ll let y’all peek into my bad sometimes.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:22 pm
Dang Juanita been doing men and women. All that sweating and stuff she was doing while performing…hmmmm
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:22 pm
Well, God forgives
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 25th, 2012
2:23 pm
LOL…….@Ex
disco
July 25th, 2012
2:24 pm
C – re managers and loud. you know I’m always fussing about my coworker who makes 15-20-25 personal calls a day (about nothing). how come today her boss asked if he needed to unplug her phone so that she could get some work done. I wanted to HOLLER!!! it was so funny to me. she tried to downplay it but she was cold busted.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:27 pm
disco – On the floor? He asked her out there? Noooooo Yeah, that’s a bit much. Heck 5 is too much. Is it on her cell or a desk phone? She’s not smart. She should get some of that talking done via text.
For me if it’s not an emergency and my kid needs me, she’ll text. Same with my brother and sister.
For Real
July 25th, 2012
2:29 pm
“I have a headache that I cannot shake. It’s not a migraine. I’ve had it about 2.5 days no” – Hmmm and you said 17.2 seconds wasn’t enough.
For Real now posing in front of Celisea’s desk like Al Green on his greatest hits cover.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 25th, 2012
2:30 pm
disco that is funny being called out like that.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
July 25th, 2012
2:30 pm
Juanita been doing men and women.
I read about that last week….hell if Eddie Longstroke can be forgiven then I guess she might as well open the closet door and: 1. Come “out” and be proud about it or 2. Give them skeletons some freedom and K.I.M…
exiled
July 25th, 2012
2:30 pm
I think u have to be really confused to want to go one route sexually,then make a detour,reflect and say No..im goinmg the other route…wil that person Ever be on an even keel….
There is lotta of hurt in the world..I tell you….
Now, wld u ladies excuse and forgive a dude if he said, he was a salad tosser but decided to come back str8 literally?
I guess i can answer my own question and say u ladies proly do forgive that..considering that some uall have been with felons who were in their for a minute…..
Trust they tossed it in there coz of the sexual drought..im sure..going by what uall have told me here…..
(hope i iant being too harsh)
exiled
July 25th, 2012
2:32 pm
there not their
disco
July 25th, 2012
2:32 pm
C – I know I’ve complained on here countless times re her countless conversations. she talks on the office phone and her cell phone and she sends text messages.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:33 pm
For Real – You are so crazy. You know I had to pull the album cover…lolol
http://www.freecodesource.com/album-covers/B000002TTP–al-green-al-green-greatest-hits-album-cover.html
Mmeello – I can’t do a reformed switch hitter. Sorry, just can’t. IMO, it’s just not the same for women. Another chick ain’t got a tool to insert. At the most, it’s gonna be a toy. And if that’s kept clean and sterilized, the next dude should be good. For a dude, well let’s just say it’s not that cut and dry. Nope, no can do.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:34 pm
disco – Dang, that’s awful. Sometimes I get that feeling when I’m blogging too much. I guess recently, that should be all the time…lol
For Real
July 25th, 2012
2:34 pm
Celisea: You want me to lay like this Ha’Sean?
Ha’Sean: Yeah that it baby. Now you gon feel a lil pressure.
Celisea: Pressure?
Ha’Sean: Barometric pressure…
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 25th, 2012
2:35 pm
Ex that’s harsh man, felons……….LOL
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:35 pm
Mmeello – I haven’t been with a felon
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:36 pm
For Real – LOLOLOLOL Ha’Sean? LOLOLOL Straight crazy
Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)
July 25th, 2012
2:36 pm
Celisea I’m back, had to go to some work, was trying to catch up but too much reading, what am I defending myself against?
disco
July 25th, 2012
2:38 pm
I’ve been with a felon. in my defense, I was with him BEFORE he became a felon. do I still get credit? I saw him a few years back at my grandma’s funeral and he asked whatever happened to us. I was like “dude, you went to prison!!!” lol.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:38 pm
disco – They should ban her cell and give her 3 calls a day…lol On the floor where customer service is located, their calls are monitered. Somehow though, their on an 800 number so no personal calls are incoming. Too, they use to have a backline for that. They have new phones now, no way personal calls can come in at all. Too boot, cell phones are no longer allowed on the phone. The fear/risk is someone will take pictures of confidential stuff. She would die working on that team. They have to make calls on break.
exiled
July 25th, 2012
2:39 pm
Cel..but if u forgive, as a christian and u met somebody at church..and hes trutful and said he was in there locked up 5 years..now on the str8 and narrow..u pass?
coz u take him..u know he aint all brawn and big and fierce like that..so..he proly tossed it..but u cant ask that..what do Cel do?
decisoons decisions people…
good man,good job…own car,own house..been to prison tho….
Cel..BAM!
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:39 pm
Single and Happy – Nothing…everything is everything. It’s all good
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:41 pm
MMeello – If he’s been with a dude, NOTHING DOING. If he’s been to prison, I’m assuming and nothing doing. I mean I can be cool, but I don’t think I could be intimate. Being saved does not undo who you are. Another mistake people make. Being save keeps your sins in remission. You take you eyes off Christ, guess what? Yep, that stuff will rise up again.
exiled
July 25th, 2012
2:43 pm
Ima stop on this felon thing coz i was told once i could get killed..talking like that in the open…..
I second the motion on taking Disco and ITL advice..if i come to the blog meet..im bringing five bevy heavy dudes from Dekalb PD as security. :lol;
Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)
July 25th, 2012
2:43 pm
Disco, shame on you, not being a ride or die chick!! you’re supposed to stand by your man when he’s on lock down. That’s whats wrong with the sisters now, always wanting a man out of jail with a job (LMAO)
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:43 pm
MMello – I’ll tell you this too, when you first accept Christ, it’s just that. You are still who you are. It takes years of walking and keeping the faith to overcome and be removed. It’s not like “presto”…I’m perfect. Nooooo, it’s is NOT like that. It takes time to be removed. Even so, that’s not permanent.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 25th, 2012
2:44 pm
Single and Happy glad you showed up before I left for the day, nothing wrong all is good no need to defend against anything.
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:45 pm
MMeello – Why do you need protection? From what?
Celisea
July 25th, 2012
2:47 pm
disco – You get a pass on folks that are felons post break up…lol You can’t control what folks do and you definitely can’t control what they do when you’re done.
disco
July 25th, 2012
2:47 pm
single and happy – I was ride or die at the time (this was maybe 20 years ago). believe it or not I could recite his inmate id number right now. it’s embedded in my brain. I mentioned it to him in a phone call not too long ago and he couldn’t believe that i knew it.
kimmie
July 25th, 2012
2:48 pm
Exiled – You keep trotting out this Christian and forgive thing. It’s a whole lot more to it than that. Forgiving doesn’t mean accepting anything that comes your way. Whatever someone did before you is their past. It’s not up to you to forgive someones past. You’re not God. If they experimented in the past, the 2 of you are probably not evenly yoked. You’re not being less of a Christian by not accepting someone you are not evenly yoked with.
Plus, just from a medical standpoint, a woman is taking a HUGE risk dealing with a man that’s engaged in such high risk practices.
Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)
July 25th, 2012
2:51 pm
Disco so you just couldn’t hold out that long
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
2:51 pm
@Uncle Foote – You know you can get her anytime.
Single and Happy 3 shades darker :-)
July 25th, 2012
2:52 pm
Blackfoote that’s good, i’m not to good at defending myself
Into the Light
July 25th, 2012
2:52 pm
Yeah, I’m down rolling out. I just need to change into my fatigues and grab my brass knuckles.
Don’t forget your black hoodie. Oh, and bottle of deer tee tee. I’ll explain later.