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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Men of valor

Like many of you, I have been extremely saddened to hear about the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado this weekend. It is heartbreaking to hear about the lives that were lost and the families that are left with the huge loss of loved ones. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who were affected.

I read that there were three men who shielded their girlfriends and lost their lives protecting them. True men of valor. I am sure it was an instinctive move to do so because men innately want to protect. At least, that is what my Father always told me.

He said that any man that does not show you he wants to protect you is not the man for you. He would say, “Pay attention to that kind of thing because it is always about their character.”

A lot of women overlook the importance of a man’s character. It’s not until they are faced with a particular situation that shows them a man’s true character. I believe the same holds true for men. They think that looks are enough until they realize the severe lack of character.

How do you think people show their character in the early stages of dating? What do you pay attention to?

Have you ever dated someone and realized how great their character was? What were the circumstances?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

455 comments Add your comment

Exiled!

July 23rd, 2012
6:51 am

Exiled!

July 23rd, 2012
6:52 am

No,I have not.

Lily

July 23rd, 2012
7:05 am

Dating a man without character is only going to be a disaster. That is the one trait needed in every aspect of life. If it’s not present in the day to day mundane, it certainly won’t magically appear during a time of challenge or adversity.

oddmanout

July 23rd, 2012
7:29 am

Ah, Character!! A very rare trait that is hard to find when it comes to dating.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 23rd, 2012
7:44 am

In the circumstance mentioned above, I will take action to save my family and injured. I don’t think about stuff like that happening I react to the situation that presents itself. I feel safe where ever I go, and I give a vibe of protectionism, tho I have no aspirations to be a hero, but if I have to make a stand I’m very capable.

Good Monday Morning:

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
8:42 am

Looky looky….Celisea is present and accounted for :)

On topic: Men of Valor? Why would want anything otherwise? I like what Lily said pretty much sums it up for me :)

I am back but I CANNOT lie…I’m dog tired. I didn’t get back in Atlanta until 7:30. Didn’t pull into the driveway until almost 9:00. I had to make a gas and Publix run. I didn’t take a bath until after 11:00, and didn’t wash my hair until after midnight. I was up and down all night with a tummy ache….my last bathroom run was after 5:00 this morning (sorry TMI)…WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING NOT SCHEDULING TODAY OFF OR EVEN BRINGING MY LAPTOP HOME???? Anyway, I’m present, happy to have a job, had a BLAST for vacay, spent waaaay too much money, a couple shades darker and probably 10 pounds lighter after running all night. Aside from all this, I have no complaints…lol

Reckon I can get to the Carribean before the year is out?? lol :) :)

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
8:49 am

MMeello – No, you have not what? (your 6:52)

Ms. ATL

July 23rd, 2012
8:55 am

I think a man shows his character in the early stages of dating in several ways. For example, my mate opens doors & the car door. In the beginning, the car would stop & I would jump out, but he asked me to let him get the door for me. Had to learn to sit there & wait for him to get out, come around & open my door for me. If we are walking through a crowd, he will put his arm out to ensure I have space to walk through. Just regular gentleman stuff that his mom taught him. Funny that after being married for 27 years, I had to learn to allow a man to be a gentleman, as my ex would only hold the door for whomever had on a short skirt or tight pants. Whomever in my future does not meet my standards from the outset will not get a second chance to make a first impression.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
8:59 am

I have to wonder, men of valor? Bred that way? I don’t think so much “men of valor” as IMO that sort of makes it bigger than what it is. I’m just thinking a man’s man, a man with manners and manly upbringing. There are some that are, there are some that are not. The ones that are not, just don’t get it.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:01 am

I think a man of character takes care of his, second nature. I don’t think it’s something that’s all grand and overstated. I don’t even think he thinks along the line of “Imma hero.” I just think it’s what he does, it’s second nature.

Okay, I’m just talking now…lol

disco

July 23rd, 2012
9:05 am

good morning folks. speaking of the guys shielding their girlfriends and ultimately sacrificing themselves puts me in mind of the floods in Nashville a year or two back. at the time my son lived in Nashville and some of the more severe flooding was near where he lived (literally within blocks of his apartment). he called to tell me that his girlfriend at the time had gone missing. they knew where she was and where she was supposed to be heading and then they lost contact with her. he told me that he was going to go and look for her (in an area that was fairly flooded mind you). I immediately told him that he wasn’t a hero, to stay where he was and not go looking for the girl. I don’t feel bad for giving that advice. now, had he and the girl been together during a crisis I’d kick him in his teeth for not manning up but there’s no way I’m sending him back into the fire (so to speak).

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:07 am

I’m not shielding my SO…sorry that might be bad to say. I didn’t carry him for 9 months. My kid? I’d take a bullet and anything else…

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:09 am

Annnnd again, I’m just talking…sort of. I meant it though. I think instinctively, we react. Women for their children, men for their families.

Okay, if y’all thinking “oh brother”…sorry, I’m back with a bunch annnnd with a bunch of of pent up blogging…lolololol

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:10 am

If I didn’t say it….MORNING!!

SlimUno

July 23rd, 2012
9:15 am

Morning all!

Cel – I always try to take an extra day off after any trip i take for those very reasons. As crazy as it sounds, sometimes you need time off after your vacation just to get yourself back together and back into work mode.

disco

July 23rd, 2012
9:16 am

C – well I see your vacation didn’t tap all your energy. lol. I’ve commented on here before that there’s a lot I’d do for my kid and there’s a lot I wouldn’t do. would I take a bullet? I have to say it just depends. my son and I discussed recently that the “baton of protection” has changed hands. he’s a grown A man now. he’s bigger and stronger than I am. it’s time for him to protect me if/when push comes to shove. if it’s a matter of life and death, sure, maybe I’d sacrifice my life for his. if it’s a simple matter of taking a shot in the behind or a run of the mill flesh wound then I will use him as a human shield. lol.

Celisea

July 23rd, 2012
9:21 am

Slim – Exactly. Normally I do. What was I thinking?? lol

disco – No ma’am, just ready to unleash.. lol

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:30 am

disco – it’s time for him to protect me if/when push comes to shove.

Is that instinct though? I was thinking along the lines of that becoming a reaction for his family, the ones under his wings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we (being family), shouldn’t protect one another. I just wonder if that sort of reaction or duty works as it would if he had to protect his child(ren) or wife. That statement almost sounds like an returned favor or obligation.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:31 am

“a returned”…not an returned

SlimUno

July 23rd, 2012
9:32 am

The beau and I are supposed to go to Orlando this weekend and I don’t expect to be back at work until Tuesday lol

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:37 am

Slim – Woo hoo! I hope you have a blast.

I don’t know why I have one of the Beegee’s tune playing in my head. I haven’t heard the song this morning… (I just want to be) Your Everything.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:38 am

Leggs

July 23rd, 2012
9:40 am

Good morning.

I never, ever overlook a man’s character. It doesn’t take an extreme act to witness someone’s character. His everyday interaction with me and the world gives the picture I need to see and assess.

“I’m not shielding my SO…sorry that might be bad to say” – Celisea, I thought the exact same thing. I would be trying to save my own life.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:41 am

Leggs – Butt cheeks and elbows…running for my life, with kid in tow.

SlimUno

July 23rd, 2012
9:42 am

Cel – Well get this, his dad is going to have a bowling tournament there and since his peeps are all the way in Miami, I guess his mom thought it would be cool if we all met up in Orlando. Even though his dad will be doing the bowling thing, his mom said we may be able to find something else to do. I’ve already met his mother but I have not met the rest of the gang, i.e his father, sister, niece and nephew. So this will be interesting being around all of them at one time for a whole weekend :???:

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:45 am

Slim – I think that’s fantab…a good sign :) There will be plenty to do. Funny, I’m normally set for all the parks. I didn’t do that so much. I think I did more eating AND DRINKING (hey WillieD) than anything…lol You in for shopping? Hit up Orlando Premium Outlet.

SlimUno

July 23rd, 2012
9:45 am

When riding in the car and I have to make a fast stop, I tend to throw that arm out on his chest on the passenger side (like my mom used to do when I was little). Does that not account for shielding him from danger? :lol:

disco

July 23rd, 2012
9:47 am

C – I see it both ways. returned favor/duty/obligation and instinct. I also see it as responsibility. sure everyone’s all into the parental instinct blah blah blah but I personally will go into fight/protect mode with certain others beside my son. for me it kicks in when it kicks in be it my mother, grandparents, one of my brothers, a cousin, a friend. I sense a threat, I go on alert. again I’m not saying I’m jumping in front of bullets for folks but if I sense some mess about to go down I’m ready to step in and that readiness – for me – is instinctual. so, whether or not it’s instinctual for my son is neither here nor there. it’s responsibility.

all y’all’s vacation talk is making me jealous. I need a vacation (insert deep sigh here).

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:51 am

Disco – Gotcha. When I think my mom is getting mistreated, I snap…yep I do. She’s aged and like a baby now. Not so much for my sibs. We grew up pretty close-knit but we (some of us), aren’t so much now. I think some of that you mentioned comes from being tight knit…of course IMO. I know a family that’s like that. They fight like cats and dogs but if anyone comes up against one of them, you have the entire family to fight. I don’t think that’s instinct, I think that’s more a result from being reared that family stays together. Just my humble opinion of course. If my sister or brother gets themselves into something, I’m not fighting their battle.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:52 am

If my kid in in the line of danger, I’m stepping in. If my kid gets into something from being hardheaded, I’m not.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:53 am

disco – Drive the weekend somewhere. Take a mini vacay

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
9:54 am

Why is your son responsible to protect you? Just asking

abc

July 23rd, 2012
9:55 am

Nobody knows what they’ll do in a life-or-death situation until they’re in one. Good manners have little to do with it. That said, a man’s proper role is to be willing to die for her, just as hers is to subject herself to his leadership.

Next with the ‘what if he doesn’t lead?’ stuff. Then stop following — not to say you lead him, just stop following him.

Leggs

July 23rd, 2012
9:57 am

SlimUno ~ I think that is fantastic that you will be hanging around his immediate family. Enjoy!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 23rd, 2012
9:58 am

Cely welcome back sound like you had good time there. Loved the Bee Gees.

This one fits the topic.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I’m a woman’s man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I’ve been kicked around
Since I was born.
And now it’s all right. it’s ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The new york times effect on man.

Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother,
You’re stayin alive, stayin alive.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And were stayin alive, stayin alive.

LeeH1

July 23rd, 2012
9:58 am

So, why didn’t the women want to protect their men? After all, they are the protectors of the family! Oh, I get it! Women’s libration and women’s equality stop at bravery and self-sacrifice!

These were brave men who died to protect scared women.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
10:01 am

Hey there Blackfoote!! What’s up big blog bro?! Great…thanks for putting another tune in my head…lol

LeeH1 – C’moooon now, I merely meant “reacting.” I honestly can’t say I will protect my SO in the time of crisis. I know for certain though, I’m going all in for my kid. It’s not that the love is not there and you’re abandoning that person. I was talking instinctively.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
10:02 am

Blackfoote – I did. I had a blast. I know it sounds like like I don’t go on vacay…ever…lol I do. I just do anything official last year so I was past due…lol

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
10:03 am

LeeH1 – I do want to protect my man. Just don’t know how I’d react in the time of trouble…that’s all I’m saying.

disco

July 23rd, 2012
10:03 am

C – that definitely sounds like us. we’ll fight amongst ourselves but outsiders need to stay out of it if they know what’s good for them. I agree part of it comes from being tight knit. I think another part of it was simply how we were raised. even as small children we were taught that if one fights we all fight. this wasn’t just siblings but cousins as well. for me, some of it might be birth order. being the oldest sort of puts you in the protector frame of mind early on. also, I guess it doesn’t hurt that I have a somewhat confrontational nature. growing up I was always the one who said “who said it? where they at? let’s go get ‘em” lol.

why is my son responsible to protect me? because that’s the kind of man that I raised him to be. I swear if I was ever in a situation where something went down and my son was there standing off to the side like an okey doke and didn’t step in he would most definitely be dealt a reckoning. he’d deal with me. he’d deal with my brothers, he’d deal with various cousins etc. you don’t stand by and do nothing ESPECIALLY when it comes to your momma. still I say all this because now he’s a grown man and able to. I wouldn’t be tripping if he was 8.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 23rd, 2012
10:13 am

Gald to hear Cely, I got couple of days planned next month to get out of Dodge.

SlimUno

July 23rd, 2012
10:14 am

Cel/Leggs – Yeah it is a good thing that I will get a up close and personal interaction with his immediate family. I’m excited and a bit anxious all at the same time. Hopefully I won’t get the third degree

disco

July 23rd, 2012
10:16 am

lee H – will I protect my man? sure as much as I’m able. if we’re out or at a family gathering or something and his ex-wife/baby momma/any odd female shows up and throws a drink in his face or something, I’ll fight her for him. if the two of us are home and he’s trying to fight off home invaders I’m not the chick to hide in the closet or stand off in the corner screaming “look out”. I’ll do my part to fight off the bad guys. you may or not see those efforts as “protection” but every little bit helps.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 23rd, 2012
10:18 am

Slim1 if you sit next to mom and communicate you’re gonna score a lot points from everybody.

SlimUno

July 23rd, 2012
10:20 am

BF – I think i’ll manage either way…I mean who can Not like this fantabulous personality :lol:

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
10:28 am

Slim – Go ahead and get in like flynn…lol

I just don’t advocate coming to folks rescue over tomfoolery. Getting robbed, ambushed, abducted…yes. Anything else in the name of family, not so much.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 23rd, 2012
10:29 am

Slim1 that’s all it takes most times is a good personality and you’re a hit.

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
10:30 am

LOLOLOL…if an ex of my SO shows up, I’m not getting into that. I’m looking at him because it’s his responsibility to handle that….before the gathering. If it’s where he’s got kids with her, naturally there will be some sort of communication but that’s for him to handle. And I don’t mean right then. That’s for him to get it right, where they can be amicable and it don’t interrupt our flow. Same thing, if I had a little kid and a new SO and had to communicate with her dad, it’s on me to set him straight…if he’s acting out…lol

Celisea....back at work and trying to be grateful I have a job rather than the dreaded feel I have for coming in today

July 23rd, 2012
10:31 am

disco

July 23rd, 2012
10:39 am

C – there are some women out there that will try to fight a man. not because they think they can whoop him but because they know the man will get locked up. I can’t stand by and have my man get locked up. lol. (btw, that post was mostly to humor lee but if a chick was really trying to fight my man I might step in and handle that one. I’d like to believe he’d do the same if the situation were reversed). my brother had a chick who put a restraining order on him but she had the nerve to always be violating her own restraining order. she had to be dealt with.