accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Best way to approach men

I get emails all the time from single women who are tired of sitting by waiting to get approached. It seems that more single women are becoming comfortable with making that first move.

There can be an art form to the cold approach …for men. Ladies may need a little help in this department, though. We aren’t built for rejection. Our egos don’t like it..at ALL. So what is the best way to approach men? A lot of guys I’ve talked to said they like the subtle, confident approach. For instance, have a legitimate question for them or asking their opinion on something.

I always wonder if the guy can tell when a woman approaches him to flirt with him, though. Do most men know when a woman is giving him signs of interest?

Ladies, what is your best approach tactic for men you find too good to bypass?

I would love to know the most creative way a woman has approached a man – what did she do? What did she say? What did you think when she first spoke to you?

If a woman approaches a man first, is she at risk for appearing to overbearing?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Bog

134 comments Add your comment

Lily

July 18th, 2012
6:53 am

If approaching men is something you’re comfortable doing, I would suggest doing so with class and tack. Be subtle but clear. Whatever the perception, as a result of your direct approach could determine if it’s a bust or not. Some men may receive it well while others may not.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
7:01 am

“If a woman approaches a man first, is she at risk for appearing to overbearing?”

Hell No! That doesn’t mean I’m lazy, I appreciate the effort and it’s flattering to be noticed and that’s all.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
7:03 am

Lily I thought I had this one in the bag, I put up the surrender flag.

Lily

July 18th, 2012
7:36 am

LeeH1

July 18th, 2012
8:35 am

Best pick-up line for women to use on men- “Hey, guy, I’m rich.”

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 18th, 2012
8:36 am

Personally, I love(d) it when a woman approaches…

There’s the subtle [direct stare into the eyes and]‘hey’;

The even more subtle ‘touching game’;

But the direct approach “hi, my name is…” works best IMO

Celisea

July 18th, 2012
9:03 am

Morning!!! I’m headed to Sea World but wanted to comment on For Real’s statement yesterday regarding women 40 doing what feels good and blah to what folks think. Soo true and spot on…lol Of course, you don’t have to wait that long…lol Whatevs to folks that judge :) Now, tie this into the topic. Do what works for you. If that’s the skin you’re in, rock it! By no means now am I suggesting reckless behavior.

Roberta

July 18th, 2012
9:15 am

I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and believe I just may have come up with the best approach tactic for a woman who wants to meet a man.

Now follow me here – it may be complicated to some:

1. Walk up to the man.
2. Say “Hi, my name is ……..”

Why do some people insist on making things so complicated? “We aren’t built for rejection.” Oh really? Maybe you’re not. Rejection is a part of life. A healthy dose of self-confidence and self-esteem will take the sting out of rejection.

disco

July 18th, 2012
9:27 am

dan/Roberta – LOL. on one hand, sure “hi my name is” is as basic, simple, no pressure as it gets. on the other hand, “hi my name is” is very grade schoolish. you are trying to make a connection not find someone to play with at recess. personally, unless I was already eyeballing you or you happen to look presentable/acceptable enough (to me) I probably don’t care what your name is. I might just look at you like “and??? you’re telling me this because why?”. I guess the point is beyond introducing yourself, what else you got? after I say “hi whatever your name is” (and note, I may or may not share my own name), what’s next?

by the way, good morning all.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 18th, 2012
9:57 am

@disco

The HMIS technique is employed when you’re interested. Coming from a woman to a man, it would come off…differently.

From the man to a woman, though. it’s just an opening line; not cheesy, or sleazy, or off putting

disco

July 18th, 2012
10:14 am

well… right about now I wish a brother would waltz in here, say hi, tell me his name, and escort me right on up out of here. okay. I should probably be more specific. with my luck the sheriff would come and take me away.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
10:14 am

Good morning, all.

dang, disco. Meanie. :lol:

Natasha

July 18th, 2012
10:21 am

I don’t approach men. The end. If I smile at you to show interest and he does not approach then he is either not interested or shy. And I don’t want either.

My theory is: Be a man! And man up. Go after what you want! What happened to the thrill of the chase for God sake?

disco

July 18th, 2012
10:21 am

ITL – like I’m the only one.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
10:35 am

@disco: Well, compared to sweet, angelic, never raise my voice, never lose my cool me….. LOL :lol: Dang! I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.

DJ Sniper

July 18th, 2012
10:47 am

Maybe I’m in the minority, but the “thrill of the chase” has never been a big deal for me. I’ve always been dumbfounded as to why some women can be such go-getters when it comes to education, career, travel, etc, yet revert back to passive wallflowers when it comes to dating and making the first move. Being turned down by a man is not the end of the world.

I actually have heard a few women say “if he didn’t notice me, then he wasn’t interested.” Um, that statement has no logic at all. If a man isn’t even aware of your prescence, then how can you say he wasn’t interested.

disco

July 18th, 2012
10:50 am

I just walked down (and back up) 3 flights of stairs to get to a vending machine that had nothing in it. I swear I could just stomp my foot.

DJ Sniper – personally I don’t have a problem making the first move. I’m just not going to make all of the subsequent moves.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
11:07 am

I see we’ve got another slow day on the blog…..

Somebody do a little song and dance – I need to be entertained.

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
11:09 am

“Ladies, what is your best approach tactic for men you find too good to bypass?” – Ummm, in that case, I would take offer up some type of sincere compliment to break the ice. Pretty sure it wouldn’t be difficult to find something I could compliment him on.

I remember being at a bar way back in the day and this handsome, I mean handsome man was sitting at the end by himself. I walked up to him, introduced myself and offered to buy him a drink. He was smiling from ear to ear saying how refreshing it was for a woman to walk up to him. He said that he doesn’t get that often. This man was gorgeous and we became good friends.

“If a woman approaches a man first, is she at risk for appearing to overbearing?” – One is overbearing when forceful/demanding with their approach. No one wants that. If a woman is doing that, she needs to date herself. Or get a blowup doll.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
11:12 am

Did anyone hear The Bert Show this morning? Yesterday, they were talking about if people truly want to know the reason for a breakup. So, this girl calls in and says she wants to know. They call the guy and he says she dropped the “boyfriend” tag too early. But this morning? She’s making excuses, “I think he just got scared because things were going so well, blah blah blah.”

I was thinking that I wish the WLB and MLB would call in and ’splain it to her. :lol:

DJ Sniper

July 18th, 2012
11:14 am

Disco, I can totally get with that. If a guy is feeling you after you approach, he will definitely grab the ball and run with.

DreamsMaterialize

July 18th, 2012
11:16 am

Morning
I love to see a woman show initiative and go after what she wants. I’ve always been flattered when a woman has approached me. If you’re sitting around waiting for someone to approach you, then you can’t be upset with what you get.

I guess the point is beyond introducing yourself, what else you got?
disco Dang dude gotta swing in on a chandalier with his Iron Man suit on, do a break dance move, transition into a Dave Chappelle worthy standup, and end with jazz hands? lol

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
11:18 am

I heard that ITL! I laughed when Bert said women want closure but it’s not true because women don’t really hear what the guy is saying. He told the woman where she went wrong, and she countered his claim with him being all into her with all his sweet words. Saying something while nekkid is not same as saying the same thing fully clothed. That was comical.

DreamsMaterialize

July 18th, 2012
11:19 am

Did anyone hear The Bert Show this morning?
ITL I heard that this morning. It turned out EXACTLY the way Bert and Jeff said it would. The guy said what his reasons were, and she refused to accept that. I knew that was going to happen though. How are you this morning?

Dynamic

July 18th, 2012
11:20 am

Did anyone hear the reason why the 50 shades books have become so popular? On the Bert show he was talking about how his neighbor theorizes that on a instinctual level that all women want to be dominated. Since the book is about bondage and the man being the DOM, it reinforces this biological need, thus it’s success. I would be interested how many women would agree or disagree with his thoughts?

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
11:23 am

It was frustrating and sad to hear her go on and on with excuses.

Are we (people in general) so egocentric that we cannot take someone’s words at face value and move on? Do we always have to search for the “subtext”??

Welcome, Leggs! Glad you finally popped in. :)

Good morning, Dreams. I’m well. And you?

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
11:24 am

Dynamic ~ I think Bert used the term “Bottom on top?” Something like that. He’s dominate in the bedroom and she’s all submissive to him and his demands, but outside the bedroom, she’s the dominate one because he’s soft. Something like that.

disco

July 18th, 2012
11:24 am

dreams – well, I must say all of that would get my attention. still, I have to ask what else is there after “hi my name is”. it’s no secret some folks have no talk game or conversation skills. some folks can take a simple introduction to mean we go together. okay, that might be extreme but you know what I mean. they take up space but ain’t talking bout nothing.

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
11:27 am

:lol: :lol: Thank you ITL. Made a mad dash downtown to pick up my concert tickets but THEY DIDN’T HAVE THEM!!! Said she was going to pick up the tix this afternoon and that I was the first one to come and claim their prize…WTF. I won 1.5 weeks ago. They need to announce on the radio when a person can come to claim their prize.

A bunch of boneheads. And, the people at the front desk need to get a damn personality! I can’t stand people in jobs where they truly need to be people friendly frowning all the time. Ok, I’m done venting…

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
11:29 am

disco re:(subsequent moves)I should add after she moves on me, I let her know I’m impressed by her confidence and make the next moves from that instant on.

Women that like the thrill of the chase wants to be cuddled and comforted. Understand for some women the chase is annoying, intrusive, and could be mistaken for a creepy dude.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
11:32 am

wants to be cuddled and comforted

I wouldn’t mind a little cuddling and comforting today. :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
11:35 am

I’m giving a big blog hug to my sis Flo-Light.

disco

July 18th, 2012
11:35 am

ITL – my first thought was to say I second that but on second thought I’m thinking that ain’t it. I need the bottom knocked out. (I know I put that out there but it’s okay if the gutter-minded blog gents stay in the shadows and keep their comments to themselves). lol.

BF – I met a guy recently. I initiated contact and carried the conversation. he didn’t understand the premise of “tag, you’re it”.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
11:37 am

Leggs do they have a will call window at the venue where you can pick up the tickets.

GracieL

July 18th, 2012
11:40 am

Dynamic @ 11:20,

I’ll answer this one! Traditionally and historically, women WERE dominated, so I’m guessing it wasn’t that big of a thrill. The biological attraction to a strong man is an early evolutionary thing. The stronger and more assertive/dominating the man, the better her chances of survival for her and their offspring. The hard-coding still exists deep in the brain.

Fast forward to modern generations of “liberated” women: women not only have the opportunity to do it all, we’re often expected to do it all. Bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, yadda yadda… and in many cases (i.e., 9 out of 10 divorces I’ve had the misfortune of listening to in great detail) the woman is forced to assume a more assertive role (Mommy!) in the relationship and handle/delegate the day to day management of the family, or it simply does not get done (while Brutus is attached to his joy stick for or mouse for nine hours straight).

These are the women who find “Fifty Shades” to be delightful fantasy reading. They long to let go of the reins. They fantasize about a strong man who not only makes decisions, but makes decisions that focus on her and her pleasure. The pain? Oh, they have pain now; it’s just a different kind of pain in the fantasy.

Hope that helps!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
11:45 am

LOL……..@disco

The bottom needing knocking out, music to a man’s ears.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
11:45 am

@BF: Awww, thanks Big Bro. :)

@disco: If they do, that’s on them. ;)

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
11:47 am

I misread your comment, disco. I thought you said if the MLB have their minds in the gutter and comment. :oops:

Maybe I need more cuddles than I thought. Or more caffeine. :lol:

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
11:49 am

@BF ~ I would prefer not to wait until the last min. to pick up tix. I will go back downtown and get them. She said if there’s a line when I return, I can come right up to the desk. I’ve been to that station many, many times and there has never been a line…who she kidding. Guess she wanted to appease me somehow, even with a lie.

DreamsMaterialize

July 18th, 2012
11:54 am

Good morning, Dreams. I’m well. And you?
ITL Everything is great. Life is good, and I’m thankful for that. I’ll be thankful when Friday gets here too. lol

they take up space but ain’t talking bout nothing.
disco Nah I get it, I do. Had to mess with you a little bit though. Seems like a slow blog day. lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
11:55 am

Shoot Leggs you ought to take all that good luck you have and go to the Price Is Right show at the Fox in October. I’m thinking about going, you never know you might step out of there with the grand prize.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
11:57 am

Coming to the Fox theater in October.

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
11:57 am

Didn’t know anything about it. Let me go check that out!!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
11:58 am

go to foxatltix.com

disco

July 18th, 2012
12:01 pm

dreams – I’m sure you get it. heck, I think I was having a mental flashback of all the busters over all the years and all the tired A lines I heard attached to the back of “hi my name is”. the “do I know you”, “have I seen you before”, “do you come here often” for laughs I’ll throw in “you remind me of my jeep”. I had a party once and one of my raggedy A cousins tried to holler at a friend of mine. she’s Hispanic. she told me after the fact that my cousin introduced himself to her and then asked her if she wanted a black baby. I couldn’t believe it. I know he’s rude/crude/ignorant and all but who does that??? “hey girl. what’s up? I’m so and so. you wanna have my baby?”. I swear it takes all kinds.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 18th, 2012
12:03 pm

These are more affordable tickets than The Immortal World Tour were. They’re about the same as a concert ticket around 57.00 bucks.

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
12:04 pm

Tix $52.00-$29.00. Heck the tix to actual show in Los Angeles are free.

Leggs

July 18th, 2012
12:04 pm

And for those in the balcony ($29.00) you think you’re name will be called and they’re going to wait for you to make your way down to the front???

Into the Light

July 18th, 2012
12:06 pm

@DM: Glad to hear it. I presume the little miss is enjoying a busy, fun-filled summer?

@Leggs/BF: I would LOVE to be on TPIR! I’m gonna check out the details….

kimmie

July 18th, 2012
12:07 pm

Morning All!!

Blackfoote – How was Immortal? I’m dying to know what I missed!!

What are we talking about gang? I heard that “closure” discussion on Bert yesterday and today. Yawn. Those flaky chicks need to get a clue, not closure! Throwing around the “boyfriend” title before you even get the “girlfriend” title – who does that??? And the only closure I’ve ever needed is that you’ve decided you don’t want me anymore. That’s all I need to K.I.M!!!!