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Parents influence relationships?

Recently, I was talking to my friend about his Father’s pending nuptials to wife number four. Obviously, my friend has doubts about how long this marriage will last, but he also commented on his own marriage potential.

He thinks that because of his Father, he probably would not make a good husband. This surprised me because my friend has always said that he wanted to be married with kids. Why would his father’s multiple marriage have an impact on him?

Do you think our parents influence our perception on love, marriage, and relationships? Do we learn from them – either from their mistakes, or what they got right?

How do you think your parents shaped your views on love?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

179 comments Add your comment

Lily

July 17th, 2012
6:57 am

Most certainly I believe our parents influence our outlook. Having witnessed real love only set the bar high for me. Of course bring privy to their relationship, only to end up in a time where seemingly men and women no longer desire or hold traditional values, makes having relationships much more difficult. There is an expectation that I cannot discard nor discount.

Jeff

July 17th, 2012
7:31 am

Children tend think the behaviors they see every day are normal because they are routine. That’s why many kids who are in physically abusive homes grow up to abuse others. Kids who live in homes with drama tend to extend that drama into their homes when they are adults.

Pretty simple, actually.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
8:05 am

Ohh yea!

One parent mama

One parent daughter

One parent son

Mama rolling stone
Daughter rolling stone

Son rolling stone

It don’t fall too too far from the tree trunk. Family tree trunk in this instance.

(WD,Bill Oreilly was talking bout this very issue last nite as it pertains the black family in america)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 17th, 2012
8:10 am

Not only that Jeff, but child often romanticie their parents relationshiips.

Mainly because they’re children, but more to the point, they are unaware of what it takes to build and maintain an adult relationship. ^^biggest barrier in relationships today (for both men and women, before the ladies go off).

Regardless, I think it’s incumbent on adults to ‘put away childish things’ at some point, in order for a relationship to work.

Good morning

lolalee

July 17th, 2012
8:16 am

Which is it? Take pattern after an abusive relationship, becoming abusive or take pattern after a healthy relationship, romanticizing?

Are any of you professionals in assessing and diagnosing?

Nelson

July 17th, 2012
8:18 am

That is a great question, I really like it.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 17th, 2012
8:33 am

@Lola

It’s both and/or neither.

My generalization of ‘often’ aside, Jeff and I are, at once, right and wrong. (BTW, diagnosing would involve a specific patient/person). It’s an individual’s response and internalization of the stimuli that determines the outcome.

Someone could grow up in a ‘healthy’ family dynamic, feel some kind of way about it (cynical, unloved, unwanted, etc.) and completely misinterpret what they’ve witnessed.

Likewise, someone could grow up in an abusive household, recognizing that the abuse is wrong; internalize it, and grow to have healthy relationships.

The reactions to their parents relationship and the influence it has on a person is a individualized as each of us are.

disco

July 17th, 2012
9:06 am

good morning.

my first thought upon reading diva’s homeboy’s thoughts was that he’s a grown man and he can make the decision whether or not to be like his father. he can pick and choose among the qualities and character traits that he wants to embrace and the one’s he wants to ignore. to say he wouldn’t be a good husband because his father is a multi-husband, to me, is a cop out. not saying that our upbringing isn’t our foundation but I am saying that adults can make choices.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
9:37 am

No doubt parents shape their children’s perspective on marriage. A bad marriage/divorce may steer a child completely away from marriage. A loving, giving marriage may help. What I don’t believe is that his father singlehandedly dictated he’s not marriage material. Along with his views toward his father and his 4 marriages, he himself helped to carve out his existence and his potential to become someone’s husband. I’m a firm believer that one’s environment doesn’t necessarily mold who they are or determine what they have to offer.

Good morning.

disco

July 17th, 2012
9:40 am

looks like we’ve got ourselves a slow morning. anyway, off topic – some of you may remember my clowning recently re the guy who had a lot of injuries/ailments. the sleep apnea (etc) guy. anyway, on tom joyner they were discussing Michael Clarke Duncan and his sleep apnea/heart attack situation. tom mentioned that folks with sleep apnea generally sleep alone because of the mask/machine/snoring issues. I couldn’t help but laugh. I know it was meant in all seriousness but I remember thinking I didn’t want to be laid up next to Hannibal lecter.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 17th, 2012
9:47 am

@Ms. Leggs

Without more info, I don’t know if he’s saying ‘because of his father ['s example]‘ or because of his father (as in who the father is as a person/man).

My thoughts started with the former thought process and went from there.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
9:52 am

It’s amazing how a topic like this one involving parents makes folks scamper to safety like cockroaches.

Touchy

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
9:54 am

Dan ~ I agree. W/o more information, one can only speculate as I have done.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
9:59 am

Another O/T ~ remember the big guy I met at the picnic. Not sure if I mentioned we all were involved in a fierce, I mean fierce water gun fight. He called last night and said the 2nd thing that attracted him to me was the fact that I didn’t sit on the sideline like the other women afraid to mess up their makeup or get their hair wet. He thought that very cool of me and felt I was down to Earth.. Oh well, he doesn’t know my prissy side (lol). Anyway, that was a nice compliment. Water won’t melt me and I got sloshed!! Sure, I didn’t look as dazzling leaving as I did coming, but fun is fun and I had a ball. Don’t care for him (too big), but I had fun.

Back to regularly scheduled topic….

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 17th, 2012
10:01 am

folks with sleep apnea generally sleep alone because of the mask/machine/snoring issues.

I know from experience…I have an aunt that snores to the point where she had to get that same machine(it’s called a c-pap mask/machine) and it does make some noise but not too loud. I understand why some that snore may sleep alone b/c I dated a guy for about five months who snored like nobody’s business and I REALLY didn’t like it. Sleep apnea has to be scary b/c at times during the night they stop breathing for short periods of time and don’t even know it.

On topic: A parent(one or both) can influence a child’s perspective/outlook on marriage in both negative and positive ways but ultimately it’s up to the individual involved as to what decision he/she will make. Personally, I don’t know if I’ll ever get married but I’m okay with that…it’s not something I feel I have to have in order to feel complete or happy. I’m not knocking the institution mind you…but it is what it is.

disco

July 17th, 2012
10:08 am

leggs – please. right now, the regularly scheduled topic ain’t hitting on nothing. you have nothing else to report? I figure if folks throw out enough randoms will find a new topic.

sassy – I respect the seriousness of sleep apnea. I was just commenting (another post, another day) on the fact that the sleep apnea machine can’t be sexy. I didn’t ask dude but I wonder if it scares off potential partners. I won’t say it scared me so much as I couldn’t see myself wanting to be bothered with it.

abc

July 17th, 2012
10:09 am

My parents had a pretty messy divorce, and their 2nd marriages weren’t all that great for us kids, either. Thus, I became dedicated to starting my own family apart from all that, and being better at it than they were. Unfortunately, the chicks I married weren’t similarly minded; I admit that I choose poorly, plus married too young, and the cycle repeated.

Many times, your outcomes don’t rely solely on your own mindset, behavior and actions. Sh1t happens.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
10:11 am

Morning All!

I’ve run across 2 men kinda like Wise’s example. One guy’s father messed around alot and fathered an outside child. His mom, really the whole family, was having a hard time dealing with it. The guy said that not only his father, but his grandfather was a big cheater. He was afraid he would be one too. We dated here & there, but I never took him seriously because he did love the ladies. At least toward the end there I understood he had that example. Anyway, he got another lady he had been seeing preggers so he married her. I ran into years later and asked how was married life. He said it was “different”. Better her than me!!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 17th, 2012
10:12 am

disco the c-pap aren’t that sexy for sure but they’re not that cumbersome either…I’m sure if dude tactfully explained his situation to an understanding person they’d respect it and wouldn’t have a problem with it…or at least one would hope.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 17th, 2012
10:13 am

Many times, your outcomes don’t rely solely on your own mindset, behavior and actions. Sh1t happens

worth repeating…

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
10:16 am

abc ~ I’ve gone to great lenghts to not have a messy divorce simply for the sake of lil leggs and my own peace of mind. So far, so good (see even told me so).

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
10:17 am

Dan – I agree with you about how some romanticize their parents relationship. I could be that way at times. I had to remember the practical examples I got too – that it was not always a bed of roses, but they hung in there together and were committed to the marriage. My mom never let me get caught up with BS like weddings & such. She’d rather all us kids waited until we found the right person and the person we really LIKED. She didn’t want to see any of us caught up in any messes.

I’d say I had a great example. Not perfect, but realistic.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 17th, 2012
10:24 am

@Kimmie

That’s all I was referencing. The “my (grand)parents had a great marriage” syndrome that infects the marriages/psyche’s of the kids (sometimes). No one knows what goes on behind closed doors in a marriage, and sometimes romanticizing the relationships puts too much pressure on the person – and their partner. It could also lead to some self loathing if the person (the romantic) feels like they haven’t lived up to an (un)realistic expectation.

Other ways romaticizing hurts relationships:

“The SBW” syndrome being romanticized;
“the my father wasn’t there/good” romaticization;
and any Hollywood movie where the guy/girl takes soooo much isht and they end up together.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 17th, 2012
10:29 am

disco

July 17th, 2012
10:29 am

dan – guess it’s a good think I’m not the romantic type. lol.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
10:37 am

Oh, and Exiled just so we’re clear even though I know you won’t agree: O’Riley can’t tell me jack ish about the black family!!!!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
10:55 am

Morning, all!

On topic: Of COURSE our environment shapes and influences us. How and to what degree is our choice.

Off topic: I’m resisting the urge to smack someone. But if anyone deserves a wood shampoo, it’s this person.

disco

July 17th, 2012
11:02 am

ITL – far be it from me to instigate but smack on. lol. I suppose you can’t actually do it or get away with it or else you would have but if you want someone to help you imagine the satisfaction you’d get from it, I’m your girl. especially if your hand hits just right and makes full contact. that solid thumping sound it would make. that stinging in your palm. if it’s a light skinned person you even get to watch as your fingerprints show up on their cheek. mm mmm mmm. I think I really got caught up in the visual.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
11:04 am

LOL@disco. That visual was almost as good as the real thing. Almost. :)

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
11:22 am

Aaaaaannnnndddd……cue the crickets…..

disco

July 17th, 2012
11:22 am

looks like some of the blog folks need to be smacked. where the heck did everyone go?

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
11:26 am

@disco – maybe we should initiate a controversial topic. That usually brings them out of the woodwork.

disco

July 17th, 2012
11:29 am

ITL – have at it. I have nothing controversial going on right now. I don’t even have my usual run of the mill tirades. today, I’ve got nothing. I do have one tirade. I went to Charleston last weekend. this weekend groupon and living social are chock full of getaways to Charleston. that’s it. that’s my tirade.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
11:36 am

Ok, here’s a topic…

What to do when the heavy set guy isn’t to your liking but another guy at the picnic asks about you. You’re interested. They’re co-workers. I feel no one has dated so one should be free to talk with the other. For some reason I don’t think it will ride out like that. These co-workers seem to be fiercely loyal to one another. I’m laughing because I can see one wannabe cockblocking the other.

Hey fellas. How many of you have done this? Be honest.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
11:37 am

How was Charleston? Did you get some she-crab soup?

disco

July 17th, 2012
11:40 am

leggs – you’re interested (by the way are “you” the “you’re” in the story?) so have at it. life is short. so what they work together. they are grown men that ought to know that sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I’m wondering if the fact that co-workers are “fiercely loyal” is another off topic altogether.

ITL – Charleston was Charleston. I go all the time but I love the place. I ate at hyman’s Friday night (mediocre) and kickin chicken Saturday afternoon. I only stayed the one night. got in a wee bit of shopping and brought it on home. I only “forced” the trip to stay on my new year’s resolution schedule of at least one outing every other month. so far I’ve kept it up.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
11:46 am

Leggs, go for it, what the eff!!!

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
11:47 am

disco ~ yes, I’m the “you” in “you’re.” Heck both of them walked up to me to say goodbye, but the big guy got to me first and as he shook my hand slipped me his number. Just found out last night that the other guy has been asking about me. So I let my gf know that I was interested and we shall see where that lands.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
11:49 am

@disco: Hyman’s was only mediocre? That’s disappointing; it’s one of my favorite places to eat. Their she-crab soup is (WAS?) incredible.

I need an outing. Soon. Not sure where, but I keep checking the Groupon weekend deals.

disco

July 17th, 2012
11:50 am

leggs – big boy did a number slip? that’s funny. sounds like he knew the other was interested and like he knew if you had to choose you’d choose the other. that’s why he got to you first and slipped the number. and what’s up with the number slip? why can’t a fellow express himself and his intentions and then ask for your number or at least ask if you’ll take his? to be handing out unsolicited phone numbers is a whack move.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
11:50 am

Do any of you ladies watch Extreme Makeover Weight Loss? The chick that was on there this past Sunday needed to be ashamed of herself! She only lost 157 pounds from 435 over a year. She won’t eat right! She still has a long way to go.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
11:52 am

Disco – :lol: – I guess he’s a little “shy”!

disco

July 17th, 2012
11:52 am

ITL – hyman’s was mediocre because I didn’t order seafood. I knew better but it’s not what I wanted. I ordered ribs and they were the worst ribs I’ve ever come across in my life.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
11:53 am

I’ve watched it, but I didn’t see the episode you’re talking about. It’s a shame that she would waste the opportunity of a lifetime to like that.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:00 pm

disco ~ the number slip surprised me as well. This dude didn’t say much to me during the picnic but he sure sloshed me a lot. I now know why. You could see through my blouse once wet, but not too much. I had on a strapless bra so I was good in that area (lol). He said he wanted to respect the fact that my child was with me and he didn’t know if I was married or seeing someone.

“…to be handing out unsolicited phone numbers is a whack move.” – he said he didn’t want his coworkers to know his business.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
12:03 pm

Light – Chris Powell, the trainer, said something eyeopening about her. He said she won’t accept that thru the weight loss journey she will have to deal with some form of discomfort. Whether its getting used to eating differently, so stuff might not be as sweet or as rich as she’s used to or getting tired out exercising.

I’ve found that to be the issue with alot of people. They don’t want to accept the discomfort that comes with making a change. Like I’ve tried to help friends/family along the way find healthy alternative to certain foods. No, that low-fat peach sorbet is not as tasty as that peach cobbler with the crust soaked in butter! But you have to retrain your tastebuds for better health’s sake! It’s okay to indulge once in awhile, but not make poor eating a lifestyle! The chick on the show just was not getting that!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:04 pm

“…to be handing out unsolicited phone numbers is a whack move.” – he said he didn’t want his coworkers to know his business.

And/or maybe he’s a little self-concious/shy and it felt less intimidating to him to do it that way.

disco

July 17th, 2012
12:05 pm

leggs – nice try but still a whack move. he could have easily expressed himself without folks being all up in his business. what? was he talking through a bullhorn the entire day? I repeat – it was a whack move. even the line about respecting the kid and not knowing if you were involved. all excuses to cover up the fact that he’s lame. lol. I know folks tell me I’m hard on men but really. it’s a party and he can’t find time to speak. puh-leeze. I’m not trying to hear it.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:06 pm

kimmie ~ I watched it. Her story touched me because like her I wanted my father to know who I was. I was insistent that this man meet me before he or I left this Earth. I met my father when I was 28. I wanted him to know the person standing in front of him excelled in life without any tangible/supportive input from him. I was angry. I was very thankful that I made amends with him before he left this Earth. Unlike the young lady in the story, I was so very glad she was able to meet the family on her father’s side along with her mother’s support. I never met nary a person from his side of the family and I regret that to this day. I got my mother’s sass/spunk/hudzpah, and my father’s lean body.

The lady in the piece was very insightful and well spoken. Just used too many excuses not to get the job done!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:09 pm

@Kimmie: And he is so right. I’ve found that if you are in tune and paying attention, your body will tell you what it needs/wants. And, once you have eliminated the toxins, the more good stuff you put in your body, the more good stuff you crave. I have found that when I get out of the habit of eating junk, I get to a point where it sounds nauseating to me. Even the smell of fast food is disgusting.

Unfortunately, I have slipped back into old habits. I have to get back on the wagon! :)

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:11 pm

“And/or maybe he’s a little self-concious/shy and it felt less intimidating to him to do it that way.”

That’s my take as well, ITL.

Ok guys, let me give you the rest of the story. The bathrooms are not clearly marked. When I first arrived I saw a gf walk into the men’s room. I followed her in and told her it was the men’s room. She said it wasn’t until I showed her the urinal with was behind a small wall. So, a little after that I went to the woman’s room and he was in there refreshing himself from all the bbquing. I told him he was in the ladies’ room and he said it was the men’s so I had to tell him about the urinal. I say all that to say, all he had on was his long shorts and all his ta tas and belly was all in the sink. He seems like a very nice person with a nice smile and nice teef, but all that jiggling in the belly reminds me of a Walrus.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
12:13 pm

Leggs – I missed the 2nd half of the show, so I caught up online, but that story touched me too! And your story is like that of so many! So many, just like you, excel “in spite of”!

I really liked her and wanted her to do better! Plus, I know so many just like her that use every excuse in the book. Then the next thing you know, they have major health issues and you are praying for them and visiting them in the hospital. I just want more of us to do better – for ourselves and our loved ones!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:18 pm

See there, Leggs? Some might see him as a fixer-upper. :lol: Couldn’t resist, after yesterday’s discussion.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:18 pm

kimmie ~ because of all that, that is my driven force to take the high road with lil leggs father and make sure she has whatever access she needs to see him and spend quality time with him.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
12:19 pm

Light – I’m did not grow up eating a lot of junk. My mom always cooked and we had at least 3 vegetables at dinner. After a point, when I’ve gone a few days eating mess like pizza & fries, my body begins to literally reject it. Like you, it gets to be nauseating. Stuff that’s too rich & greasy doesn’t even sound good to me!

I can see the kids getting to be like me too. The boy doesn’t even care much for cake & sweets and he only likes grilled or baked fish, not fried. He will only eat a few fries. Baby girl’s taste is still like that of a kid somewhat, but she is changing as well. She will see cake with tons of icing and want it, but once she gets it, it is too much for her!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:19 pm

I just want more of us to do better – for ourselves and our loved ones!

Worth repeating. And I needed to hear this. Thanks, Kimmie.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:22 pm

@Kimmie: If their mother can see them now, I bet she is grinning from ear to ear. The love and honest caring you have for the kids honors her, and speaks volumes about your character.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:22 pm

All he needs to do is lose about 100 1bs. If he’s comfortable, what can I say. However, he called me from a Jamaican restaurant last night a little after 10. I asked if he ate heavy like that often and he said “when he wants to.” I left it alone, because that was a defensive answer.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
12:22 pm

Light – You’re welcome! :)

Leggs – I’m getting that walrus visual. Not pretty and a big turnoff!

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
12:24 pm

Light – I really appreciate that.

disco

July 17th, 2012
12:25 pm

oh but kimmie you put me in mind of some good bar food. there’s one little sports bar I go to from time to time that has a sampler with cheese sticks, onion rings, wings, potato skins and something else I can’t think of. it may not be healthy but it’s awfully darned good.

leggs – exactly how big is old boy if you had to guess (height/weight)

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:26 pm

@Kimmie – you’re welcome. I think it often when I read about stuff you’re doing with the kids, but I wanted you to know. :)

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:28 pm

I asked if he ate heavy like that often and he said “when he wants to.” I left it alone, because that was a defensive answer.

Probably not the first time he’s been asked something like that, and likely by people whose intentions were not as kind as yours.

If it weren’t for the weight issue, would you be interested in him?

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:29 pm

disco ~ 6″ maybe 350-360? I’m going by what I’ve seen on the extreme weightloss show.

disco

July 17th, 2012
12:32 pm

leggs – well heck, you’ve already got me beat. I wouldn’t have even humored old boy if he were making advances. I’d be down to be a food buddy if he ever wanted someone to hit the restaurants with but I’d let him know that nothing else was up.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:33 pm

I would be interested in see what he’s about. I’m just not keen on being smothered.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
12:37 pm

Ok, who has next topic?

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:38 pm

Try being friends. I’d be careful not to give him any false hope, but I don’t think it would hurt to get to know him. You might even inspire him to make healthier choices.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:41 pm

I don’t have a topic, but I’m having a little fixation. There is someone that I cannot stop thinking about. We had a friendship for awhile (that included some fun, flirty banter) but that was the extent. For some reason, he has been on my mind for the last week.

I think I need to take a brisk walk. Or a cold shower. LOL :lol:

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:44 pm

If you’re frisky and you know it, clap your hands (clap clap)

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
12:48 pm

Okay, I’m out. Y’all be good.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 17th, 2012
1:14 pm

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
1:18 pm

Leggs – He would smother you, you are petite!

Not a good look at all!!

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
1:19 pm

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 17th, 2012
1:22 pm

:lol:

Okay off to the lab…

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
1:32 pm

sorry Kimmie, couldnt respond promptly…

I know u are a rabid lefty as Oreailly is a rabid rightie so u wldnt agree on his opinion for the sake oof maintaining ur lefty post…it takes me in the middle to brin g uall to some comfortable accomodation.

Oreilly is a rightie alright but he makes sense sometimes,in fact most times…he aint Drugged Limbourgh! :lol:
Black folks in this country dont want nothing said aboout them by an outsider…but it doesnt take the gorilla/elephant in the room outa sight regardless.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
1:33 pm

hello, hello, hello…..is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me…..

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
1:35 pm

Ex ~ how can a white man tell how a black family lives and what they go through to survive?? How??

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
1:41 pm

Ex – I really wasn’t waiting on a response!LOL!!!

Even a broken clock is right 2 times a day!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
1:44 pm

I didn’t hear the commentary, but I wonder why it has to be a black or white issue in the first place. Forgive me if I sound naive, but human beings need the same things to thrive and survive.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
1:50 pm

Leggs.. a white man can simply look at the stats and make a point…the same way a black,latina,yellow,blue person could look at the same stats…
in as far as what he was talking is concerned…..the number are what they are….

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
1:54 pm

ITL..yea u didnt hear the commentary, it wasnt about survival..it was about breakdown of the family unit as we know it+ father and wife and kids together.

black men going Raw
black chics taking it Raw
no marriage
94 % of some such kids being outside the family home

woukld tyhose kids want to get married themselves or be single like their dads..thats was the discusion last nite

I think thats where Diva proly got her cue for todays topic

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
1:55 pm

outside family unit not family home

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
1:56 pm

Ex ~nevamind. Wasn’t talking about stats.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:00 pm

Exiled – Do you think the people that could benefit from knowing those stats heard them and are inspired to take action? I mean, you mentioned elephant in the room, but it’s not an elephant! We here those same bad stats all the time blasted everywhere! It’s nothing new and nothing everyone of every color has not heard before. O’Ri likes to get a rise out of folks and get ratings.

It’s kinda like when we discuss certain topics here on the blog. A lot of the things don’t affect the blog women or men directly. Sure, a lot of people lurk. But do you really think those that would most benefit from some of the discussions and the advice shared are reading this or anything? I would bet my last dollar no.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
2:11 pm

About ratings…ofcourse i agree there, its all about having an exciting show for ur base and geting more add dollars to ur show..thats the bigger picture for him and everybody with a show..whether its Oreilly or Derrick Bozman

But any issue thats an issue gotta have a solution…i think thats the issue,in my opinion.

These folks who know about the stats cant just say “we know bout trhem”

That wldnt be enough.

(careful, lightining out there!)

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:12 pm

Exiled – In fact, I’ll give you an example. My late brother graduated from Meharry Medical School, an HBCU. At the graduation, where the graduating class was mostly, but not entirely, of color, the speaker reminded all of them what they would be dealing with. The highest rates of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, uninsured, least access to fresh fruit & vegetables, it ran the gamut. The grads were receptive to it because it was coming from a one that had been in the trenches, making a difference.

Growing up, we were constantly preached to about not becoming a “statistic”. Everyone is not as fortunate to hear the bare bones truth, have good examples in front of them, and consequences when they don’t measure up. And all groups and cultures have issues they need to deal with. This nation as a whole, not just those of color, has a lot of work to do.

DreamsMaterialize

July 17th, 2012
2:13 pm

Afternoon
Probably too late to comment on the topic so I won’t.

Leggs & disco Your commentary about the big dudes reminds me of a discussion they had on the Bert Show last week. A guy called in and told the show that he used to be a big guy and had a good friendship with this woman. He was attracted to her, and he let her know. She told him that she really liked having him as a friend, but that she wasn’t attracted to him because of his weight. Fast forward 5 years, and the guy has lost 100 pounds. The same friend who rejected him before approached him wanting to pursue something more serious. He told her he didn’t have those feelings anymore and would rather just remain friends like she initially said she wanted to do. She gets mad and won’t speak to him. What’s the blog’s take on this situation?

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:14 pm

Exiled – Did he offer solutions on his show?

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
2:18 pm

u got a point there…@Kimmie

i think the mssaging gotta be re-inforced and be consistemly preached.

disco

July 17th, 2012
2:18 pm

kimmie – my momma used to say that one. even a broken clock is right twice a day. that and somebody was wrong as “two left shoes”.

kimmie (again) – and as for being a statistic, no matter what you do you will be a statistic. lol.

dreams – if I was the chick in the scenario I wouldn’t even sweat dude. if he thought he was doing something by brushing me off and treating me like I had the vapors I would have reminded him that he was fat before and would probably be fat again but to enjoy his new body while it lasted. wish a joker would try to shut me down. lol.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:20 pm

Dreams – Karma is a B! I personally think she had some nerve to approach him after rejecting him initially. I can understand her seeing him in a different way now and finding him attractive. It’s like the ugly duckling that turns into a swan. I’m not saying she should have hooked up with dude when he was fat, because bottom line, he wasn’t attractive to her at that weight. Unless you are a chubby chaser, it’s not cute! But I would have had to suck it up. Let him approach me and let it all be on him to try another shot at it after the initial rejection. Otherwise, I would have just chalked it up as a loss. Plus, if she had hooked up with him back then, whose to say he would have ever lost weight?

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
2:21 pm

he is a rubble rouser..his solution is Uall need to stop the raw dogging

he had some black guy on there to counter and give the other side..kinda defensive etc.

To his credit(Oreilly) i heard him admit that even white folks in single homes dont do better..its the same pattern as mirrored in latina and black folks–perpetuation of poverty, altho black folks raw dogg more. :lol:

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:23 pm

I would have reminded him that he was fat before and would probably be fat again but to enjoy his new body while it lasted.

Disco – You are so, so right!LOL!! In fact, odds are he’ll put most, if not all, of it back on! He’s prone to be fat! In fact, I like your answer better!LOL!!

You right, too, we all are a statistic!!!

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
2:24 pm

Dreams, my take is she’s an idiot. If this guy came back to me 5 years later I would have to abide by his decision. No skin of my nose because I initially shunned him. Don’t put out what you can take yourself. She’s childish for not wanting to talk to him, but she’s more embarrassed for being so shallow.

So, am I calling myself shallow. In this regard, yep!

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:25 pm

Exiled – Well I give him credit for that then. At least he had the cajones to admit his folk aren’t perfect too!!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
2:27 pm

Last I checked, no one is perfect. :)

disco

July 17th, 2012
2:27 pm

O/T – a friend of mine was in a job situation that’s been driving her mad for quite some time. she’s finally lined up something else and is putting her notice in. she is some kind of happy. (of course I won’t front, nothing like knowing you are about to put in your professionally written notice while thinking you MFs can kiss my behind). anyway, she emailed me talking about she now understands why I don’t have personal items at work. she’s literally packing boxes. we’ll see if she remembers this when she’s settling in at the new job.

ex – quite frankly i get sick of all the folks tossing their pennies and nickels into the cap on what’s best on raising other people’s kids. don’t get me wrong, I’m guilty of it too but at the end of the day everyone needs to stay in their lane and worry about their own children (nieces/nephews/etc.) help the kids you can help and stop passing judgment on everyone else. two parents aren’t necessarily better than one. better educated people don’t necessarily raise their children better than less educated people. single fathers are just as capable as single mothers. stay at home mothers don’t necessarily parent better than mothers who work. rich parents don’t love or care for their children more than poor parents.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:28 pm

Light – You can’t tell some folks that though! They think their ish don’t stink!!LOL!!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
2:37 pm

Mr. Unknown using a MacOS for the first time.. Interesting

July 17th, 2012
2:39 pm

Whats up Good folks…

DMaterial~ Sounds like buddy is harboring some resentment because she was honest with him from the beginning. This was his way of feeling brand newish or better than her. Probably made his day to actually reject someone. Buddy was/is still salty. Big people that lose a lot of weight don’t know how to handle the new found attention. Funny and sad. I’m sure he was physically attracted to her when he approached but now he smelling himself a little too much.

MervTheTerrible

July 17th, 2012
2:43 pm

“nuptials to wife number four”

I stopped right there, can anyone guess why??

disco

July 17th, 2012
2:44 pm

mr. unknown – and that’s why I would have called his big behind out. lol. and your comment re brand new made me think of those ford commercials. I cracked up the first time I saw them.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 17th, 2012
2:45 pm

Majority of parents single or married have an influence whether it is good or bad. The child learns from interaction and incorporate it into their life.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
2:49 pm

Or, maybe his feelings really had changed. Five years is a long time.

(waving) Heeeey, BF! I was wondering where you were today. Missed my big bro. :)

disco

July 17th, 2012
2:50 pm

BF – agreed. my post was regarding o’reilly and whoever all else trying to put groups down collectively. to them I say you can’t base a parent’s parenting skills or ability on a bunch of statistics.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
2:52 pm

disco – Everybody thinks they know best, and always offering their 2 cents.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 17th, 2012
2:54 pm

My eyes are still adjusting to disco’s 2:27 second paragraph.
I knew you would strike gold, although said with temperment it is the warmest I’ve read you. I know you don’t care but that was a good thing to say. Better watch yourself next thing we know you will be on here shouting bible verses…….LOL

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
2:57 pm

What are the solutions? How do we bring about significant, lasting change that finds our children better educated, healthier, and more successful than we?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 17th, 2012
2:59 pm

Hey there my Flo Light, where’s that For Real? Has he brought baby Rella some milk and cash yet?

DreamsMaterialize

July 17th, 2012
3:00 pm

wish a joker would try to shut me down. lol.
disco Why is she mad though? She shut him down and said she wanted nothing more than friends. He accepted that and moved forward with her as a friend. I think her lil’ pride just got hurt. And what’s the point of downing dude and saying he’s doomed to be fat? If ya’ll were really friends, wouldn’t you just be happy for him that he’s more healthy now?

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:00 pm

kimmie – I know. that’s why I said I do it too. lol. I just recently clowned someone for purchasing an engagement ring for her son to propose. I’m like if dude can’t buy a ring maybe he’s not ready to be getting married. still, momma was pushing for the marriage and I guess if she had to buy a ring to make it happen she was all for it. I wish my son would step to me about buying an engagement ring. I’m constantly telling people they should beat their kids. most recently I’ve been telling lots of folks to put their kids out. in my circle there are a lot of adult children living at home and parents who are super stressed out behind it. I don’t get it. I’m not going to be uncomfortable in my own home especially behind a child of mine.

BF – I had to go back and see what you were talking about. trust me, my comment wasn’t all that. just me saying that some times folks really just have to mind their own business and tend to their own children.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:02 pm

BF – Nope. I think I’m gonna have to send my brother over there to ’splain it to him. LOLOLOL :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 17th, 2012
3:04 pm

LOL……..@Light I got it dear heart.

Folks enjoy the rest of the day.

Mr. Unknown using a MacOS for the first time.. Interesting

July 17th, 2012
3:05 pm

Disco~ Exactly… lol

I’m out.. have a good day folks.
I finally figured out how to eject my Flash Drive safely (google= time saver)

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:05 pm

Disco…the stats dont back ur rant! Lol

u think raw dogging and popping babies that weee wee wee,crying for their Awol daddies is good?

Yes or No? :lol:

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:05 pm

dreams – I don’t know why she’s mad other than she’s the type that thinks someone is supposed to want her. I find that those types don’t take it to well when they realized they aren’t wanted. I agree that her pride was probably hurt. as for me putting dude down – in my post I said that if he “thought he was doing something” by rejecting me I would have come back at him. if it was just a basic little I’m not interested right now I would have been big enough to chalk it up.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:08 pm

Bye BF! (and baby Rella says Bye Uncle Zing!) LOLOLOL :lol:

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
3:08 pm

disco – You sound a lot like my mom in that post! My mom used to say nothing I brought home in a blanket is going to run my house!LOL!!

As for the mom buying an engagement ring for son – see that right there is why we have, what Bert from the Bert Show says, the wussification of America!! She is worrying about the absolute wrong thing! The only thing mom should be concerned about is raising a son that is self-sufficient and able to take care of a wife & family on his own. If he can’t even muster enough money for a simple wedding band, or even care that he can’t, he needs to be getting married like he needs a hole in his head!

Light – I don’t know, but I believe in the old-school ways. They worked on me & everyone else I know that was raised that way. They seem to be working now. Beating, punishing, holding accountable, high expectations, setting a good example – all done with much love!

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:09 pm

disco ~ I believe in beating kids (to a point). You hear about the woman who got 20 years for beating her 3-year old with a branch out in the woods because he woke up crying? What an idiot. Now she’s bawling her eyes out in court making all that noise. The same noise her baby was making. Only difference, he did what 3 years old…cry and whine. What I don’t understand or perhaps I missed, why leave the house and take the boy to the woods to beat??

Destiny's Door

July 17th, 2012
3:13 pm

What are the odds of backtracking? It’s not likely to conjure up feelings all over again once a person has moved on, just because of improvements. Sounds like someone is saltly over being rejected, hoping for an opportunity. Hope springs eternal…lol

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:13 pm

EX – we could go back and forth on this all day. first off, you seem to really like the term raw dogging. why is that? second of all, absentee fathers come in all forms. the one night stand who never knew the chick was pregnant, the guy who bailed when he found out the chick was pregnant, the married man who works all the time to avoid the wife and kids, the military man or the man with the traveling job who is never home, the hardworking low wage earner who works 2, 3, 4 jobs to make ends meet. I could go on. my point is – stop passing judgment!!! if the father isn’t there then the mother steps up (or should). period. it’s not as big an issue as you are trying to make it. at the end of the day, all of these stats mean nothing because there will never be controlled circumstances. as has been previously mentioned, each person is different. each mother, father, child is different.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:14 pm

I even wonder why she likes him now.
Folks who loose lots of weight look droopy in the eyes and face and have funny bodies..look at Al Sharpton or Al Rocker on NBC.

I wouldn’t hazard to look at a naked pic of chic that was on the View and had a procedure to loose weight.
Her tummy would be hanging like umbilical cord of a cow that just gave birth! :lol:

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:15 pm

odds of backtracking for me is 0%…never believed in backtracking.

disco ~ guess you haven’t noticed, when it comes to “penis” Ex his in awe….

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
3:16 pm

dreams/disco – She’s embarassed. But really, all she’s doing is making herself look stupid and childish.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:16 pm

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:17 pm

Ex ~ most who lose that amount of weight also go in have the excess fat surgically removed (if they can afford it, that is).

Destiny's Door

July 17th, 2012
3:18 pm

@Leggs, I don’t either. Moving on :)

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:20 pm

leggs – he must be. either in awe or in “raw”. he’s awfully caught up on it. lol.

SexyCool

July 17th, 2012
3:20 pm

55 days and counting….
Now…if I could just get these darn invitations in the mail.
I’m so terrible…(lol)

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:22 pm

@Kimmie: Yes ma’am! :)

But what about the kids who don’t have parents who care enough to discipline them (in a loving, firm way)? Do we turn our backs and pretend we don’t see it? Do we stay silent to avoid hurting someone’s feelings?

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:25 pm

Raw dogging? Why u don’t like the term Disco…

If u say single parent is caused by All those things you mentioned u are stretching the discussion to include other issues which weren’t the subject of the discussion.

Let’s keep it narrow to what we(I) meant. Mind u,I don’t mind stretching the discussion to include All of that. I have been working away from home lately and I muss my k
Family. It has an effect on me and on them. It puts too much on my wife. It’s hard.

Now it’s harder for single moms and kids who never saw their dads or hardly ever. Or are missing. I am talking about the raw doggers who never care!

It causes a breakdown if the family unit and kids can’t be policed or disciplined adequtely. One parent can’t do it,at least that’s how it us showing.

The numbers don’t lie. I’m not sure why u miss that!

As for judgment,u judge I judge everybody judges

I know u a single mom but that’s not the point. Its not personal

It’s the truf.

By the way raw dogging just sounds colorful! :lol:

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
3:29 pm

Light – While it takes a village, you have to be careful about other folks kids, even those in your own family(neices, nephews, cousins). If you are in a position to affect other kids, like a teacher, counselor, boys & girls clubs, etc, do what you legally can to help is all I can say. Volunteer, Sunday School. Everything nice and above board.

But really, if everyone would concentrate more on being the best parent they can be to their own – it helps the whole world!

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:29 pm

The numbers don’t lie. – yeah they do. Anything can be manipulated.

Also, don’t you remember Bush referring to it as “tricky math” Anything is possible (lol).

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:31 pm

whew….(that was my deep breath). EX – I don’t give a dadburn about the numbers because they are just numbers. what the folks who care so much about numbers need to focus on is the people. My parents divorced when I was young. neither remarried. I was essentially raised in a single parent home (two as a matter of fact – lol). I was a teen parent. I finished high school. I went to college. I raised my son. he recently graduated from college TWICE. at the end of the day none of these effing numbers matter. the people and the decisions they make are what matters. I’m not sure why you miss that.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
3:32 pm

Light – I remember my mom saying you raise kids for the world.

DreamsMaterialize

July 17th, 2012
3:32 pm

But what about the kids who don’t have parents who care enough to discipline them (in a loving, firm way)?
ITL Lots of people beat their kids out of frustration rather than love or corrective discpline. There is a line between discipline and abuse, and parents don’t always err on the discipline side. There are kids out there hoping and wishing someone would rescue them from some very horrible circumstances.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:34 pm

Leggs are serious? :lol:

Using bush to try prove a point about ‘tricky math’

Its ‘trucky’ coz it tricks him.

Mentally Bush wasn’t(isn’t) the sharpest knife!

Nice guy tho.

Nice try Leggs! :lol:

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:34 pm

Ex – the same numbers argument can be made when it comes to “black women whining about not being able to find a man”. you hear all the stats about black men in prison, black men that are gay or on the low, black men who refuse to date black women. the list goes on and on. we (black women) would truly be doing ourselves a disservice if we worried about the numbers. we have to live our lives each day and make it the best way we know how. we can’t live worrying about freaking numbers.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:36 pm

Using bush to try prove a point about ‘tricky math’

Ae you serious? I wasn’t proving anything. Anytime you hear “tricky math” you should immediately know someone is making fun of something. Give me a break!

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:37 pm

I knew u were going there Disco! :lol:

U are a model of a single mom done absolute fantab!
U are an outlier…ever heard the term? :lol:

We wish So many could be like u…

Unfortunately on the ground it’s a different story.

There

For Real

July 17th, 2012
3:40 pm

Me..LLO: Your argument or Bill-O-Da-Clowns argument is a made up strawman. I wonder what his kids learned from married father about Andrea Mackris?

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:40 pm

U hate math I see! :lol:

Uall are funny

Tricky math

Leggs :lol.

It’s tricky when it ain’t advancing ur point! :lol:

It’s not tricky when u want more money on the job.

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:41 pm

leggs – re tricky math. I think – one for you, one for me, two for you, one, two for me, three for you, one, two, three for me. lol.

ex – I’m not the only one. I’m not even the most accomplished. all I did was raise my child which is all I was supposed to do, which is all any parent is supposed to do. the world is filled with wonderful, successful people who came from single parent homes. ben carson comes to mind. heard of gifted hands? lol. leave me alone ex.

DreamsMaterialize

July 17th, 2012
3:41 pm

Also, there are different types of statistics. There are descriptive statistics and there are predictive statistics. Citing various percentages as they relate to different subgroups of the population is merely descriptive statistics. So, it doesn’t have any bearing on what you are personally likely to do. However, predictive statistics necessitate much more stringent conditions to establish a causal relationship. There are behaviors/conditions that cause certain outcomes. For example, a person who sells drugs will likely at some point cause them to go to jail. Can you sell drugs for an extended amount of time and not go to jail? Sure, but the likelihood is very small. So, if someone wanted to decrease their chances of going to jail, then choosing not to sell drugs might be one possible solution.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:43 pm

@Kimmie: I agree 110%. Unfortunately, so many parents today leave parenting their children to teachers, counselors, ministers, etc, or don’t really parent at all.

@Dreams: I was not referring to physical discipline. The “loving, firm discipline” I referred to is saying what you mean and meaning what you say. I think far too many parents find it easy to spout punishment, but not to stick by them when they realize that with no TV/computer/iPad/phone, their children are no longer “entertained” and now require some interaction. That is not to say that under the right circumstance I don’t think corporal punishment is warranted; I do. But it has to be done appropriately.

For Real

July 17th, 2012
3:46 pm

Ex: Number don’t lie but the people using the numbers do. Now, you seemed to change the topic from single parents not married to fatherless homes. Which is it?

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:46 pm

Disco,if I weren’t married I wld date u…

But that’s missing my and Bill’s point! :lol:

Black folk u so much fun today :lol:

I’m gone to watch msnbc now. Al sharpton politics nation

We in this together folks

Tmrw! Nite!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:46 pm

In an ideal world, all people would do the right thing. But we don’t.

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:47 pm

ITL – a lot of people are quick to say don’t make a promise to a child if you aren’t going to keep it. I like to say, don’t threaten a kid if you aren’t going to follow through on the threat.

DreamsMaterialize

July 17th, 2012
3:47 pm

But it has to be done appropriately.
ITL I think all forms of discipline have to be done appropriately. The problem is everyone thinks their way is appropriate, which may or may not be true. Sometimes parents don’t have all the answers and have to do the best they can, but sometimes they know better and don’t do better.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
3:48 pm

disco – I love Gifted Hands and Ben Carson. Many out there just like him – truly an inspiration. Too many, though, know nothing of him or others like him. All they know is what they see on the 6pm news and think that’s all some folks are about. And some think they deserve a trophy for doing what they are supposed to do anyway!

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:48 pm

an ideal world? first off, whose ideal? second off, just think how boring life would be if everyone were the effing same. think “the stepford world”. lol.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:48 pm

For Real.. It’s disco wants to change subject..

bringing mitary folks abroad,etc

Not me.

I knew we wld go six pages today if I started that

Disco closed it on fire! :lol:

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:51 pm

6 pages…we only on four. Have you sniffed some of those bath salts now trying to tackle a math problem = tricky math!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:51 pm

Yes, Dreams, ALL discipline has to be done appropriately.

@disco: Right on!

My personal practice has always been to give kids a very definite set of boundaries. Do you, be you, operate within those boundaries however you wish. But cross the line, and the consequence is logical and consistent and you knew what it would be going in.

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:52 pm

ex – a single parent is a single parent. there are tons of “married single parents”. trust me, while I enjoy a good debate, my comments weren’t about just being confrontational. like your “numbers”, my “statements” are the truth. they aren’t everybody’s truth but they are the truth.

leggs – that’s that “new math”

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:58 pm

an ideal world? first off, whose ideal? second off, just think how boring life would be if everyone were the effing same. think “the stepford world”. lol.

disco – that’s not what I meant, but I think you know that. lol I was referring to people doing the “right” thing by raising their kids responsibly, accepting consequences for their actions; basically, doing the things that grown men and women should not have to be told or forced to do.

For Real

July 17th, 2012
3:59 pm

trying to define appropriate is like trying to define normal.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:01 pm

For those who didn’t work out yesterday (including myself), don’t let those rain clouds stop you today. Can’t have excuses 2 days in a roll.

For Real

July 17th, 2012
4:01 pm

Leggs: Number done lie remember.

For Real

July 17th, 2012
4:03 pm

Ex: okay which is? Single parents are cause of black kids going raw? or Fatherless home are the cause of black kids going raw?

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
4:05 pm

Disco..I didnt think u were confrontational..u spoke like u went to a four year college and did t drop out.

No cuss words

Excellent! :lol:

disco

July 17th, 2012
4:07 pm

ITL – I know that’s not what you meant. just cracking a little jokey joke. still got an hour plus to go. lol.

Ex – no cuss words on the blog. lol.

SexyCool

July 17th, 2012
4:12 pm

well damn…
(notice the cuss word. LOL)

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:13 pm

Speaking about parents influencing their children. A chickenhead here at work gave birth 2 days ago. Why the heck is she here showing off her baby???

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:13 pm

LOL@disco. Don’t make me break out the “ticks” again. :)

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:14 pm

Speaking about parents influencing their children. A chickenhead here at work gave birth 2 days ago. Why the heck is she here showing off her baby???

:shock:

SexyCool

July 17th, 2012
4:18 pm

Key word – chickenhead.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:18 pm

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

That’s more like it! WOW!

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:18 pm

You got it, SexyC! TSK, TSK, TSK!

disco

July 17th, 2012
4:19 pm

leggs – I HATE when chicks do that. it’s wrong on so many levels. even if you feel the need to take your kid out and show it off don’t you have any place more relevant to go than work??? some people need to get a clue. I’ve told co-workers that if I had another kid they’d never lay eyes on it. I wouldn’t email pics to the job, I wouldn’t put pics at my desk and I sure as heck wouldn’t bring my baby up here for these nosy heffas to paw over.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:22 pm

Who can walk after giving birth 2 days later. I know I couldn’t. What about germs? I was called to the mailroom where she was, but I knew if I went some cuss words would slip from my lips so I stayed to my desk feigning I was busy. Well, I am busy blogging….

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:25 pm

Speaking of babies, where’s my sweet Swissykins today?

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:29 pm

Nite everyone.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:34 pm

For Real:

ap·pro·pri·ate   /adj. əˈproʊpriɪt; v. əˈproʊpriˌeɪt/ [adj. uh-proh-pree-it; v. uh-proh-pree-eyt] adjective, verb, ap·pro·pri·at·ed, ap·pro·pri·at·ing.
adjective
1. suitable or fitting for a particular purpose, person, occasion, etc.: an appropriate example; an appropriate dress.
2. belonging to or peculiar to a person; proper: Each played his appropriate part.

nor·mal   /ˈnɔrməl/ [nawr-muhl] adjective
1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
2. serving to establish a standard.
3. Psychology .
a. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
b. free from any mental disorder; sane.
4. Biology, Medicine/Medical .
a. free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation, or from experimental therapy or manipulation.
b. of natural occurrence.
5. Mathematics .
a. being at right angles, as a line; perpendicular.
b. of the nature of or pertaining to a mathematical normal.
c. (of an orthogonal system of real functions) defined so that the integral of the square of the absolute value of any function is 1.
d. (of a topological space) having the property that corresponding to every pair of disjoint closed sets are two disjoint open sets, each containing one of the closed sets.
e. (of a subgroup) having the property that the same set of elements results when all the elements of the subgroup are operated on consistently on the left and consistently on the right by any element of the group; invariant.

abc

July 17th, 2012
4:41 pm

Boomers were the worst parents ever. I suppose it’s no big surprise that Gen X is even worse.

I read an article recently that American children were the most spoiled in the world: entitlement-minded, unwilling to apply themselves, lazy, poor students, a long list of stuff like that, and once you looked at the supporting information, almost impossible to refute.

So the story took the perspective that the deal with American parents is that we work more than anyone in the world, so we look for what we see as efficient solutions to our children’s behavior problems, i.e., giving into their whims, not making them do the right things, just because it takes more effort — this is efficiency? Ha.

Meanwhile, numbers are numbers; lies, damn lies and statistics. But, the numbers aren’t lying. We have an American cultural malaise with no real proposed solutions, nor motion in the opposite direction.

Nick

July 17th, 2012
9:04 pm

Hey does anyone know how to get in touch with WiseDiva? Preferably an email address. I know this is far off topic, but I’ve searched up and down this website (blog.ajc.com) and have yet to found anything. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

.....

July 17th, 2012
10:16 pm