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Parents influence relationships?

Recently, I was talking to my friend about his Father’s pending nuptials to wife number four. Obviously, my friend has doubts about how long this marriage will last, but he also commented on his own marriage potential.

He thinks that because of his Father, he probably would not make a good husband. This surprised me because my friend has always said that he wanted to be married with kids. Why would his father’s multiple marriage have an impact on him?

Do you think our parents influence our perception on love, marriage, and relationships? Do we learn from them – either from their mistakes, or what they got right?

How do you think your parents shaped your views on love?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

179 comments Add your comment

DreamsMaterialize

July 17th, 2012
3:47 pm

But it has to be done appropriately.
ITL I think all forms of discipline have to be done appropriately. The problem is everyone thinks their way is appropriate, which may or may not be true. Sometimes parents don’t have all the answers and have to do the best they can, but sometimes they know better and don’t do better.

kimmie

July 17th, 2012
3:48 pm

disco – I love Gifted Hands and Ben Carson. Many out there just like him – truly an inspiration. Too many, though, know nothing of him or others like him. All they know is what they see on the 6pm news and think that’s all some folks are about. And some think they deserve a trophy for doing what they are supposed to do anyway!

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:48 pm

an ideal world? first off, whose ideal? second off, just think how boring life would be if everyone were the effing same. think “the stepford world”. lol.

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
3:48 pm

For Real.. It’s disco wants to change subject..

bringing mitary folks abroad,etc

Not me.

I knew we wld go six pages today if I started that

Disco closed it on fire! :lol:

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
3:51 pm

6 pages…we only on four. Have you sniffed some of those bath salts now trying to tackle a math problem = tricky math!

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:51 pm

Yes, Dreams, ALL discipline has to be done appropriately.

@disco: Right on!

My personal practice has always been to give kids a very definite set of boundaries. Do you, be you, operate within those boundaries however you wish. But cross the line, and the consequence is logical and consistent and you knew what it would be going in.

disco

July 17th, 2012
3:52 pm

ex – a single parent is a single parent. there are tons of “married single parents”. trust me, while I enjoy a good debate, my comments weren’t about just being confrontational. like your “numbers”, my “statements” are the truth. they aren’t everybody’s truth but they are the truth.

leggs – that’s that “new math”

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
3:58 pm

an ideal world? first off, whose ideal? second off, just think how boring life would be if everyone were the effing same. think “the stepford world”. lol.

disco – that’s not what I meant, but I think you know that. lol I was referring to people doing the “right” thing by raising their kids responsibly, accepting consequences for their actions; basically, doing the things that grown men and women should not have to be told or forced to do.

For Real

July 17th, 2012
3:59 pm

trying to define appropriate is like trying to define normal.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:01 pm

For those who didn’t work out yesterday (including myself), don’t let those rain clouds stop you today. Can’t have excuses 2 days in a roll.

For Real

July 17th, 2012
4:01 pm

Leggs: Number done lie remember.

For Real

July 17th, 2012
4:03 pm

Ex: okay which is? Single parents are cause of black kids going raw? or Fatherless home are the cause of black kids going raw?

Exiled!

July 17th, 2012
4:05 pm

Disco..I didnt think u were confrontational..u spoke like u went to a four year college and did t drop out.

No cuss words

Excellent! :lol:

disco

July 17th, 2012
4:07 pm

ITL – I know that’s not what you meant. just cracking a little jokey joke. still got an hour plus to go. lol.

Ex – no cuss words on the blog. lol.

SexyCool

July 17th, 2012
4:12 pm

well damn…
(notice the cuss word. LOL)

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:13 pm

Speaking about parents influencing their children. A chickenhead here at work gave birth 2 days ago. Why the heck is she here showing off her baby???

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:13 pm

LOL@disco. Don’t make me break out the “ticks” again. :)

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:14 pm

Speaking about parents influencing their children. A chickenhead here at work gave birth 2 days ago. Why the heck is she here showing off her baby???

:shock:

SexyCool

July 17th, 2012
4:18 pm

Key word – chickenhead.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:18 pm

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

That’s more like it! WOW!

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:18 pm

You got it, SexyC! TSK, TSK, TSK!

disco

July 17th, 2012
4:19 pm

leggs – I HATE when chicks do that. it’s wrong on so many levels. even if you feel the need to take your kid out and show it off don’t you have any place more relevant to go than work??? some people need to get a clue. I’ve told co-workers that if I had another kid they’d never lay eyes on it. I wouldn’t email pics to the job, I wouldn’t put pics at my desk and I sure as heck wouldn’t bring my baby up here for these nosy heffas to paw over.

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:22 pm

Who can walk after giving birth 2 days later. I know I couldn’t. What about germs? I was called to the mailroom where she was, but I knew if I went some cuss words would slip from my lips so I stayed to my desk feigning I was busy. Well, I am busy blogging….

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:25 pm

Speaking of babies, where’s my sweet Swissykins today?

Leggs

July 17th, 2012
4:29 pm

Nite everyone.

Into the Light

July 17th, 2012
4:34 pm

For Real:

ap·pro·pri·ate   /adj. əˈproʊpriɪt; v. əˈproʊpriˌeɪt/ [adj. uh-proh-pree-it; v. uh-proh-pree-eyt] adjective, verb, ap·pro·pri·at·ed, ap·pro·pri·at·ing.
adjective
1. suitable or fitting for a particular purpose, person, occasion, etc.: an appropriate example; an appropriate dress.
2. belonging to or peculiar to a person; proper: Each played his appropriate part.

nor·mal   /ˈnɔrməl/ [nawr-muhl] adjective
1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
2. serving to establish a standard.
3. Psychology .
a. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
b. free from any mental disorder; sane.
4. Biology, Medicine/Medical .
a. free from any infection or other form of disease or malformation, or from experimental therapy or manipulation.
b. of natural occurrence.
5. Mathematics .
a. being at right angles, as a line; perpendicular.
b. of the nature of or pertaining to a mathematical normal.
c. (of an orthogonal system of real functions) defined so that the integral of the square of the absolute value of any function is 1.
d. (of a topological space) having the property that corresponding to every pair of disjoint closed sets are two disjoint open sets, each containing one of the closed sets.
e. (of a subgroup) having the property that the same set of elements results when all the elements of the subgroup are operated on consistently on the left and consistently on the right by any element of the group; invariant.

abc

July 17th, 2012
4:41 pm

Boomers were the worst parents ever. I suppose it’s no big surprise that Gen X is even worse.

I read an article recently that American children were the most spoiled in the world: entitlement-minded, unwilling to apply themselves, lazy, poor students, a long list of stuff like that, and once you looked at the supporting information, almost impossible to refute.

So the story took the perspective that the deal with American parents is that we work more than anyone in the world, so we look for what we see as efficient solutions to our children’s behavior problems, i.e., giving into their whims, not making them do the right things, just because it takes more effort — this is efficiency? Ha.

Meanwhile, numbers are numbers; lies, damn lies and statistics. But, the numbers aren’t lying. We have an American cultural malaise with no real proposed solutions, nor motion in the opposite direction.

Nick

July 17th, 2012
9:04 pm

Hey does anyone know how to get in touch with WiseDiva? Preferably an email address. I know this is far off topic, but I’ve searched up and down this website (blog.ajc.com) and have yet to found anything. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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July 17th, 2012
10:16 pm