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Dating: Coming on too strong?

I finally got a chance to watch Bravo’s new reality show, Miss Advised. The show features 3 dating/relationship experts who don’t always follow their own advice – hence the name.

One of the ladies – Julia, has show some pretty brave, albeit pushy dating tactics. She has practically begged for one guy to kiss her (he wouldn’t), and she tried to impress another guy with a limo ride. Of course, with cameras filming her every move, she probably upped the ante a bit. I literally cringed at her over the top behavior. Maybe my ego is way too big, but I don’t know if I would go to such lengths to get a man.

I rarely hear men complain about women coming on too strong. I am sure it happens from time to time, but how do men deal with it?

Ladies, have you ever come on too strong trying to impress a man? Could you tell you went too far?

What do you do when you are too eager and come across as a little pushy or desperate? Should you scale back and try to recover or cut your losses and learn from your mistakes going forward?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

226 comments Add your comment

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:21 pm

Mmeelloo – Grrrrr…shet it up

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:21 pm

y’all are being all grown and mature. y’all are killing my “boy crazy” vibes (a little phase I’m going through right now). I’m only talking about the ones that you wish you had the courage to break off a little something right then and there.

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:21 pm

Light/Slim – I’m so glad you ladies get it!LOL!! Before I got married, like I said, half the time those creepy types are all that seemed to go for me. Or, they were the types folks were always trying to set me up with, dating back to high school!! These are the dudes that would end up complaining and blaming their lack of charm with the ladies on the ladies themselves, beyotching about how women don’t want the “nice guys”! A lot of the times they would not be bad looking either. But they had that “creep factor” that can be hard to describe to people.

“Fine” & “Hot” is more than just a physical description, it’s a state of mind, how a dude carries himself. Confident, classy, respectful, like you are happy to be among civilization and not living in a cabin off by yourself in the woods!!LOL!!

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:23 pm

no lie. some friends and I were at dinner the other night playing “who can hit it”. the food at the restaurant was the bomb. the customers, not so much.

HST

July 12th, 2012
3:23 pm

Exiled!, generally, I try to stay away from women like you described. I don’t try to change them, I just know what I feel is acceptable to myself. I was in my late twenties the last time a strange woman did something unacceptable to me. I do not do PDA – that’s just not me – no matter what.

Bluz, my parents would have taken me outside, but parents could also spank pretty freely when I grew up. Getting out of line usually meant, you were drug outside by your ear, then slapped, or worse. However, this was a baby and the Mother and Father were ignoring the child.

I was surprised that the Father did what he did. I was 80 lbs over him, and way leaner. I figured after I subdued him so quickly and easily he’d realize that he just swung at the wrong guy. He did not, so I could only assume rationally that he was frustrated as ****.

From earlier posts, I thought a buster was a lame person, and buster was not dependent on looks.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:23 pm

We all get catcalls I’m sure. Call, churp, whistle…whatever NONE OF THAT, takes away from me being a lady. As long as buddy ain’t yelling stuff at me and groping. I can’t control what anybody else does.

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:24 pm

disco – Oh, okay. Carry on, nothing wrong with a little “boy crazy” crazy sometimes!!LOL!!!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:25 pm

Or flashing himself…let him yell. You can always ignore.

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
3:25 pm

And he had one of those bushy pedophile-like mustaches lol

Into the Light

July 12th, 2012
3:26 pm

LOL@Kimmie! Those undercover creepers are the worst. The ones that seem normal from a distance, until you start talking to them or get close enough to realize they are not “our kind of people”…

I think it might be hereditary. My mom and I were at Belk on Saturday and a woman there kept talking to my mom like they were BFFs….walking over to show her the things she’d found, etc. My mama’s a good sport, though; she just laughed and said, “Yeah, your daddy always says I’m a weirdo magnet!” :lol:

Exiled!

July 12th, 2012
3:28 pm

Disco,I think u just acting out loudly what’s burning onside of u…,

If u don’t mind me asking,when was the last time? :lol:

I told u,play the air con filter trick on ur ex…

Get ur sticky cobs cleaned girl! :lol:

Into the Light

July 12th, 2012
3:28 pm

Ick, Slim. Add that to the list.

Drives a custom van
Has a 70’s porn star moustache
Wears pants that are WAY too tight

What else, girls???

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:29 pm

ITL – You always kick the door down coming in…lol

HST

July 12th, 2012
3:30 pm

Celisea, that is creepy. Do you tote a gun? We have great open-carry and CWP laws in our state; moreover, iron clad castle laws. If he comes back, it’s aggravated trespassing.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:31 pm

HST – I don’t but I’m dang sure thinking about it. Seriously.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:31 pm

I’ve handled a couple of guns before.

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:31 pm

thank you kimmie. I am embracing my current state of boy crazy. I literally decided the other day that the fact that I have been wearing wedges to death might be a part of what’s throwing my luck off. this weekend a sister is dusting off the stilettos, changing up the rotation.

ex – I may be acting out but it still ain’t none of your business (even if it is in a public forum for all to see – lol). calling me out. putting me on blast. what’s wrong with you?

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Light – Just a “blank” look in his eyes.

Heck, I can deal with the dude that’s loud and obnoxious a little better!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Off this topic: We are on our team call (late today) and someone apparently have on a wireless headset. THEY JUST FLUSHED THE TOILET…UGGGH

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

celisea – some of us attract the occasional run of the mill weirdos. you manage to attract the upper tier weirdos. what’s up with that?

HST

July 12th, 2012
3:33 pm

I have protection dogs, come into my yard, and they’ll send whomever to whatever God they wish.

Even though my property is clearly posted, I’ve had 5 legal bites. Last time the judge told the trespasser that “He can’t fix stupid.”

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:34 pm

disco – Girl I don’t know…lol I saw his this morning but I came on out only because the Sanitation truck was picking up garbage on our street. You can believe though he was waiving. I turned my head. He’s a nut.

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:34 pm

upper tier weirdos

LOL!!!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:35 pm

disco – Maybe I’m a weirdo magnet

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:36 pm

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:37 pm

I’ve tossed around the idea of a dog but I don’t want to be bothered with the upkeep

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:39 pm

And I have a kid so I can’t have a man just “staying” there… And I have NOOOOSEY neighbors

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:39 pm

Did any of you all ever see that movie LisaRaye was in, The Players Club? If you did, remember that quiet dude that would always be in the strip club watching Diamond dance and one day he followed her home and tried to attack her?

That’s the type I’m talking about.

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:40 pm

weirdo magnet? it takes all kinds. I used to be a gold tooth magnet. I was and still am a single father magnet. I’m also a bad credit magnet. bright side, I’ve never been a momma’s boy magnet.

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
3:40 pm

Add, nasty tobacco ridden teeth to the list, along with long dirty fanga nails lol

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:40 pm

Celisea – I have really come to appreciate nosey neighbors! Especially when I lived alone, they really looked out for me!!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:41 pm

bum magnet tops the list

HST

July 12th, 2012
3:42 pm

Celisea, you really should…

I know I can’t alarm you more than the Creepster already has, but that’s some really disturbing behavior.

Most of my GFs (friends, but their women) love to shoot, and make girl’s night out with the range to begin with. Most ranges have ladies night, and other promotions for women. Rent a couple of guns and see what you’re accurate with. In the end, what really matters is hitting the target in the appropriate spot for the situation.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:42 pm

Kimmie – I ALWAYS have neighbors watching. One lady asked me about a week ago about my lamp in the living room being left on….I AM NOT KIDDING

Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 12th, 2012
3:44 pm

Damn Celisea, your neighbors take looking out seriously!! WOW!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:44 pm

HST – Yes it is. He’s on my street at least 3 days a week. Just standing there. I have to be honest, I’m afraid of guns. But seriously, I’ve been giving it some thought.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:46 pm

Mo – She didn’t even tapdance around it. She walked up and asked “did you know your lamp in the front was on all night?” LOLOLOLOL

HST

July 12th, 2012
3:46 pm

“upper tier weirdos” that has to be the phrase of the day!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:47 pm

Kimmie/Mo – What I do like is being able to call my neighbor that lives directly in front of me and ask if she sees anyone, if I hear noises. She does the same.

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:47 pm

C – That’s wild, but God bless em!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:48 pm

Anyone wants to take the title? lol

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:48 pm

I always appreciated the value of the “observant” neighbor until I ran into the truly nosey neighbor. to add insult to injury it was a man. dude not only noticed everything but thought it was okay to comment on it. one neighbor had a guy friend sleep over a few times and nosey neighbor asked if she had a new roommate. he was just dipping. a couple of times I had visitors beat me to my house and they had to sit outside and wait. he thought it was okay to go to their car and tell them about what time I usually got home. another time I was putting baby items into my trunk and he had the nerve to ask if there was anything I needed to tell him. guess he was asking if I was pregnant but if I am or not why the heck would I need to tell him. needless to say, I wasn’t having any of that. I talked to him nicely two or three times and then I finally cursed him out. haven’t heard a peep out of him in more than a year now.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:49 pm

Kimmie – Yep

Exiled!

July 12th, 2012
3:50 pm

Disco..ull do good in them stilettos especially with ur nice legs!

A sister gotta do a workout! :lol:

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:51 pm

If I didn’t have a kid, honestly they would be all out gawking :)

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:51 pm

What happened to ITL? I got an email but then she dropped off

Willie Dynamite

July 12th, 2012
3:52 pm

Disco cursing somebody out? Noooooo say it aint so. Hahaha

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:54 pm

uggh. just thinking about that man irks me. anything he notices and he’s right there popping off at that mouth “so, you got new furniture? so, you got new floors installed? so I noticed the ups guy left amazon boxes at your door. what did you order?” he is notorious in the entire subdivision. everyone talks about him and his invasive questions. I joke that the reason he has a dog is so he can walk the neighborhood and be nosey.

willie d – I cursed him out bright and early on a Sunday morning as he was walking his dog before church and when I finished cursing him out I told him to go to church and “pray on that”. I cursed that man so bad about his attempts to dig in my business that after I calmed down I felt a little bit guilty.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:56 pm

My creepster ain’t a big burly dude but he’s built and very muscular. I’ve already thought about he would overcome me if I had to fight him off.

HST – I do have a bat :evil:

HST

July 12th, 2012
3:58 pm

There’s been break-ins all around me and my neighbors, but not a single on of my neighbors who’s property touches mine. My dogs do not play, and I wouldn’t wish their tyranny on anyone. It’s really a massive responsibility/commitment, and an exercise in discipline – not for my dogs, but myself.

I’ve had some guys whom are walking down the street panic about my dogs. What do the criminals do? They put their hands in the air like they’re under arrest. I can barely control myself from laughing, but I figure only a criminal would put their hands up like they’re under arrest. So I maintain my stern look, and tell them that their not under arrest. It’s priceless.

Wanna know how to keep unexpected visits from friends or family? Have guard dogs – you’ll never have an unexpected visit again.