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Dating: Coming on too strong?

I finally got a chance to watch Bravo’s new reality show, Miss Advised. The show features 3 dating/relationship experts who don’t always follow their own advice – hence the name.

One of the ladies – Julia, has show some pretty brave, albeit pushy dating tactics. She has practically begged for one guy to kiss her (he wouldn’t), and she tried to impress another guy with a limo ride. Of course, with cameras filming her every move, she probably upped the ante a bit. I literally cringed at her over the top behavior. Maybe my ego is way too big, but I don’t know if I would go to such lengths to get a man.

I rarely hear men complain about women coming on too strong. I am sure it happens from time to time, but how do men deal with it?

Ladies, have you ever come on too strong trying to impress a man? Could you tell you went too far?

What do you do when you are too eager and come across as a little pushy or desperate? Should you scale back and try to recover or cut your losses and learn from your mistakes going forward?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

226 comments Add your comment

disco

July 12th, 2012
12:25 pm

slim – it’s not so much the moniker as the writing style. you have to pay attention to the words and the meaning behind the words. lol.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 12th, 2012
12:27 pm

Slim – :)

I was blogging from my phone but it’s hung up…pooh

On topic – I guess it depends. I see some of the men have a problem with a woman stepping up. I’ve also heard on this same blog, some men said they’ve missed out on a few potentials because they didn’t get signs and she didn’t step it up. Sooooo, I guess it depends on how we’re spinning the top. I do believe though next week it will be the same topic coming from another angle and different answers…lol

Willie Dynamite

July 12th, 2012
12:27 pm

Kimmie- really I am shy. Not to the point of not asking or getting what I want or anything like that.

As for the topic- I personally can’t deal with a pushy woman. That comes across as too thirsty. I do love confident women but that is a fine line. I will say I have been accused of being lazy and wanting a woman to chase me. That’s is so not the case. In my experiences some women think that just because they give you the hints that they like you its up to me to take over from there. On my end I tend to make sure I’m qualifying her just as well. I understand the concept of the chase but I make sure that I wanna catch you.

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
12:31 pm

I hereby nominate kimmie and Cel as the blog investigative team

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
12:33 pm

When I see chicks on that Bridezilla show and see some of the attitudes of those women, I wonder what the men see in them. Or do they not have any cahones to stand up for themselves….There was only one show where the dude basically gave the chick his wedding ring back during the reception of the wedding, due to her bossy, no holds barred attitude.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 12th, 2012
12:33 pm

Slim – Look at you with jokes…lol I accept!

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
12:41 pm

WD – Would you do the honors of presenting them with their badges? ;-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 12th, 2012
12:45 pm

Cely glad to hear you’re ok.

Slim1 my confusion lies in not catching on and thinking it’s somebody else. That was cool what your beau done, men need to step up like that and make his girl feel good.

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
12:53 pm

BF – Yeah because when it comes to me, mere thoughtfulness and the small things can go a long way. He also has these sweet smelling flowers that bloom every once in a while in his yard. The other night he took one off the bush, brought it in and stuck it in my hair when I wasn’t looking. The gesture was just as sweet as spending $50+ on roses or some type of arrangement.

ATL Guy

July 12th, 2012
1:23 pm

Well I see you love to keep talking about me, must have left an impression! :) No one ran me off, but I have enough things to do than spend my day on a blog. Anyways, till next time! Take Care Slim. (btw- I only use one screenname so this talk of respawing as someone else doesn’t make sense)

HST

July 12th, 2012
1:30 pm

If a woman wants to take the reigns, and impress me with her tactics…I’m OK with that. If a woman tries to convince me of love, religion, or idealism…I excuse myself – usually permanently. I have never been scared of a woman going after what she wants. If you’re an achiever, then YOU understand that YOU are in control of what you want, and it’s up to you to get it. However, trying to hard does reak of desperation, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized, everyone feels desperate from time to time. I’d rather tell the other person to calm down than dismiss them.

As long as your not telling me what I want, we’ll be OK. I didn’t get to my age and stature by not knowing what I want, or having direction.

I prefer a woman that knows and goes for exactly what she wants.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

July 12th, 2012
1:31 pm

Cely and ATL might as well go ahead and bump them uglies….lol.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
1:36 pm

Jake – Shhhhhh….trying not to let anyone know we’re here. I almost don’t understand myself. I’m flabbergasted! Nooooo bumping…lol

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
1:38 pm

Slim – My name is Wes……

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
1:55 pm

If some ugly bumping jumps off, let me know so I can pull up a chair and pop me a heneiken ;-)

Exiled!

July 12th, 2012
2:03 pm

HST I like that 1:30 delivery!

disco

July 12th, 2012
2:15 pm

good googgly goo blog people. y’all (we) ain’t hitting on nothing today. no one has anything to report?

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
2:22 pm

Mr. Unknown

July 12th, 2012
2:22 pm

Afternoon folks,
HST great post, pretty much sums up my thoughts.

Now this is dedication to your partner: Woman watched NASCAR with deceased man for over a year
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nascar-from-the-marbles/woman-watched-nascar-deceased-man-over-021212570–nascar.html

Now if everyone could find love like this…
Have a good day folks.

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
2:24 pm

what’s up with tootie and tommy doing radio cat commercials

Bluzgirl

July 12th, 2012
2:30 pm

Hmmmm…nothing much going on here. I guess I should report that I never did respond to Dr. Brit aka Mr. Flirty (coined by my mom). Never really bothered me like it would have in the past. When I went to my therapist, my mom asked if I brought him up and I didn’t…guess it really didn’t stick! :-)

Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 12th, 2012
2:33 pm

Hellooooooo Blogsville!

Hope everyone is well……

Mr Unknown – I read that story this AM and was like “What in the EFF?!?!”

Nothing to add to the topic, if we are still on topic anyway! :)

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
2:33 pm

Bluzy – You go girl!

HST

July 12th, 2012
2:36 pm

I stepped out for lunch. Mexican soup…ummmm.

Exiled!, thanks.

Mr. Unknown, that is completely a crazy story. I would of certainly read such an article, but with the word NASCAR, I would’ve just dismissed it normally. That article is not only creepy, it is sad and almost unbelievable. NASCAR fans never surprise me, after all they enjoy sitting next to decibels that cause deafness, and sniff leaded fumes for hours on end. “Go fast, turn left!”

DreamsMaterialize

July 12th, 2012
2:38 pm

Afternoon Everyone
Coming on too strong is usually relative. If I’m not attracted then she’s desparate. If I am attracted, then she’s a hot smoking chick who was SO attracted to me that she couldn’t help herself (a man’s ego, I know). lol

Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 12th, 2012
2:43 pm

LOL Dreams!!

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
2:44 pm

Dreams – That’s probably the best post all day lol

This day is creeping by and every minute feels like 30. I’M RETT TA GET GET GET DA HELLZ ON!

disco

July 12th, 2012
2:44 pm

dreams – re relativity and the male ego. no different than women and harassment. if it’s a buster the catcalls etc are harassment. if he’s a hottie we don’t mind the compliments. lol.

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
2:46 pm

With regards to the Nascar story, that’s just plain disturbing. :shock:

disco

July 12th, 2012
2:46 pm

I can just hear some old out of shape so and so talking about “ooh girl. I’d like to lick you up one side and down the other” and having to suppress a gag. let a fine sexy something say the same thing and a chick’s knees might buckle.

Bluzgirl

July 12th, 2012
2:49 pm

I woke up today thinking it was Friday. Hate when that happens! It’s been a long day. I’m going out tonight, which will make tomorrow even longer!!!

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
2:52 pm

Dreams – Agreed!

disco – I guess I’m a tad different. While I agree with you for the most part that a hottie can sometimes get away with saying stuff a buster can’t, sometimes weird & creepy is just that no matter what package it’s wrapped in. Especially if you’re saying some provacative stuff to me and I don’t know you like that! Yuck!!

HST

July 12th, 2012
2:54 pm

So I’m sitting in the bar at my local Mexican Restaurant. A baby starts balling/fussing in the bar – the parents ignore the child – and it goes on for 5 minutes minimally. My lunch is turning into a headache, so I say something.

I say – Mommy do you understand that when an infant cries like that it needs something. That baby can’t communicate, so it cries until its needs are met. She looks at me like I’m nuts, and her husband gets upset. The Father tells me to mind my own business, and I tell him that his screaming baby has become my business. He stands up and tries to swing at me – meanwhile the baby is still screaming – and I subdue him. The Proprietor, whom knows me, as well as all the staff, quickly grab the man. He says “OK…OK…OK” and he sits down. They ask me if I wanna call the police, and I said no. No harm, I’m sure they were just frustrated, heck, I was frustrated. Anyhoo, I go sit back down and the baby starts back again. This time the child is S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G, so the Manager and the Proprietor ask the couple to leave. They decide to show their ***** on the way out. UNFREAKINBELIVEABLE!

It was good soup though.

disco

July 12th, 2012
2:56 pm

well kimmie, I didn’t say a weird creepy hottie. just a plain old sexy hottie that you wouldn’t mind playing that little back and forth innuendo game with. the one that will have you telling your friends “let me tell you about this guy I met at so and so”. I’m talking about that hottie. lol

HST – similar situation happened with a friend of mine. she made a comment about a kid and the father stepped to her husband ready to do battle.

Exiled!

July 12th, 2012
2:58 pm

Disco..women don’t say that often but I don’t care how fine. If a phine chic were to ever say,publicly and outside if the bedroom that she wants to lick my dizzle,it wld creep me out still.

Ofcourse I expect my dizzle to be licked but comeone! Style is everything. :lol:

Tease him a tad,give him a lil tingle rub…u know and not be so braggadocio and in public at that! :lol:

HST what’s ur take? :lol: do soccer mums go gung-ho for u like that?!

Bluzgirl

July 12th, 2012
3:00 pm

HST…good for you for saying something. How dare they get upset when you make a comment about their screaming baby! I was talking about this with my parents the other day because some show we were watching had a restaurant owner in NY who banned children from his restaurant. I don’t mind kids being in a restaurant if they can behave. It drives me crazy to see unruly kids and the parents just ignoring that. I know that my brother and I didn’t act like that in public because we would have gotten it if we had!

disco

July 12th, 2012
3:00 pm

ex – I wasn’t talking about women saying stuff like that. I was talking about men saying stuff like that and men say stuff like that all the time. of course, I’ve been known to throw out a raunchy line here or there just for the shock value. most men don’t expect and it’s kind of fun to watch their eyes pop out and their jaws drop. don’t let them mess around and spill a drink or something. lol.

Into the Light

July 12th, 2012
3:03 pm

Afternoon, all!

Finally got a break for long enough to pop in.

(waving at Cel and BF) Hey Zingers! :)

A baby was “balling” in the bar?!?!? What, he kept ordering bottles of Cristal? :lol:

Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 12th, 2012
3:05 pm

HST – so they having a screaming kid they ignore and they expected everyone else to ignore the kid as well. If you want to do that at home, go ahead but in a place like a restaurant where other people pay to eat….nope, not gonna have it. Thats crazy!!

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
3:06 pm

In the industry i work in, I get lots of unwarranted, nasty, creepy comments and come-ons. Just yesterday this dude comes to the counter I was at at the time and just stands there. I asked if he needed help with something and he said he just enjoyed looking at me. So I took care of other customers as he creepily stands there. Finally he leaves….later on, here he comes again and he’s holding some folded bills in his hand. He says, I just wanted to give you a tip because you’re always so nice and courteous. I told him I didn’t need a tip, thats what I am paid to do. So he stands looking a bit perturbed that I didn’t take his money. He says, well is there any chance I could get a number to call you on later and maybe go out. I politely declined and let him know I’m already involved with someone. He stood there again at a pause before he eventually walked away. uggh!

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:07 pm

I don’t hand out crass remarks but I don’t run and hide if someone gets fresh. You can toss a look that will draw the line

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:09 pm

ITL – Hey there!

Exiled!

July 12th, 2012
3:09 pm

Disco…men say stuff like that usually,to women who show a lil more leather than is warranted.

Sometimes we cannot distinguish between ur normal style of dress and/or a coded invite.

So linguistically we go for broke coz like u correctly observed earlier,a shy mouf won’t get u(ur dizzle) fed! :lol: :lol:

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

Gwaking, crass remarks, anything indecent should get checked

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

Disco – I was talking about a dude that is fine – until he opens his mouth. The stuff he SAID made him creepy. Like what Exiled said.

Kinda like the dude you described in your earlier post. He could be fine as all getout, but standing in a corner staring and not saying anything wipes away a lot of the “fine” for me!

kimmie

July 12th, 2012
3:13 pm

Slim – :shock: Yuck! That’s the type of guys that I used to attract ALL the time! I’m used to ask “do I have Love Weirdos” stamped on my forehead???LOL!!!

Into the Light

July 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

Ick. Those corner-standing, custom van-driving, silent-but-staring ones make my skin crawl. (((shudder)))

SlimUno

July 12th, 2012
3:18 pm

I think I told yall about the dude who saw me bundled up in my coat when it was cold…he says,’You shole look cold and I can get you hot and sweaty if you need me to.” Ewwwwwwwww creeeper

Celisea

July 12th, 2012
3:19 pm

There’s a dude that lives on a side street off my street. He’s got some reeeeal issues. I use to speak in passing until he got ballsy enough to knock on my door one day. Scared the heck out of me. I didn’t allow him to finish before asking him to get off my property. The next day I put up no trespassing signs. A few days later one was torn down. About a month passes and he gets ballsy again. I was heading out for church and opened the door and he was standing there. Almost tt’d on myself. I started telling him again to get off my property and he starts talking louder and louder. He left but I had to call the cops. He was gone by the time they came. I sent them right to his house too. I see him now but I won’t come out if he’s out there.

Creeeeepy

Exiled!

July 12th, 2012
3:20 pm

Kimmie,I think a classy woman in a ‘wrong’ neighborhood will get that.

A classy gent may face similar ‘pushy’ advances if in the wrong environment as well

ATL guy is just beneath Cel…

I’m just saying!