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Dating: Reformed player?

Some single people get a bad dating reputation because of past mistakes. Whether it’s breaking hearts or breaking cars, we have all done things we are particularly proud of. There are some things that are harder to live down though.

When you decide to grow up and start “dating responsibly” you probably will face a few challenges in cleaning up your rep. Do people believe you when you tell them that you have changed? A lot of people won’t! You probably will have to show them more than tell them.

A friend of mine found out that she is seeing a guy who has quite a bad dating record. The things people have told her about him so far are enough to fill up a soap opera. Of course, she does not see this side of him at all. He has convinced her that everything she heard was when he was young and dumb. Maybe he is a reformed player?

Do you think there is such a thing as a reformed player? Someone who has learned from their mistakes and cleaned up their act?

Are you reformed? How can one tell for sure that the person they are seeing has turned over a new leaf?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

482 comments Add your comment

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
11:47 am

I meet at Piedmont Park every Saturday Morning at 8am for two loops around the outside of the park. If any of you want to join up, let me know

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:48 am

Blackfoote – A snack run, grocery run, bank run, running from kin folks…lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
11:48 am

Bluzgirl

July 11th, 2012
11:51 am

BF…I was just reading the story about about Holyfield. It is sad, but why buy such a large house?!?! Talk about extravagent living…

kimmie

July 11th, 2012
11:52 am

Blackfoote – I hate to see Holyfield go thru that, but I get so tired of seeing athletes do that. It makes me mad when I think a lot of folks won’t even see 1 million in their lifetime, but you find a way to squander 250 million? It’s hard to find the sympathy.

And why don’t these folk at least go on and pay the house off? Then taxes and upkeep are all they have to pay and be a little easier to handle.

SMH

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:53 am

Kimmie – I have ALWAYS wondered about that with folks that make money. Why would you finance a house? Why would you not outright purchase? That’s one less thing to have to worry about and have to worry about once you’ve moved past the height of your career. I have NEVER understood that. If you have nothing else, you have a house paid for.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:54 am

If I saw things were going downhill, I would get real creative and start selling/auctioning stuff left and right.

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
11:56 am

Did you know that Holyfield’s landscaping cost for that house is estimated at $1 million dollars per year! No Joke

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:57 am

Well that’s even more dumb. He’s got all those kids. Put them out there to work.

DreamsMaterialize

July 11th, 2012
11:59 am

Dreams – That is fantab (can’t say awesome…lol)! Get your sexy on then! I think a few days ago you said three miles? You go boy!
Celly Yeah I run three miles during lunch throughout the week, and then I run between 6 and 8 on Saturdays.

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
11:59 am

Not that she’s an authority, but I remember Suze Ozeman (sp>) saying if you do not plan on living in your house for the rest of your life do not pay it off. Only pay it off if you plan on staying so all you need to be concerned about is the property taxes and upkeep. Perhaps Holyfield heard the same thing (lol).

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:01 pm

Dreams – Wow 6 – 8 on Saturdays? See, now you’re showing off…lol

kimmie

July 11th, 2012
12:02 pm

Celisea – Folks like us are hustlers! Just let me get my hands on ONE cool million! I bet I would know exactly what to do with it! And buying a bunch of flash & bling is not one of them!

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:03 pm

Suze Orman is gay

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
12:04 pm

Holyfield and I went to Warren boys club at the same time. Located in Summer Hill 2 blocks away from Grant Park. I saw the man when we were 10 years old and he was built on becoming a boxer. We had a boxing ring in there and he was a workaholic I asked him if he made a lot of money what would he do with it and he said the usuall by houses for his mom and siblings. All the children and wives took the rest out of his pockets.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:04 pm

Kimmie – I had to giggle at that. Yes we are. No way in the world I’m financing…the big stuff. I’m paying cash. Do revolving credit with LOCs and CCs but houses and cars, I’m paying off.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:05 pm

Kimmie – People are quick to say a million is not reall a lot of money. But I’m like you, bet I could do some things with that…and have change left over :)

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
12:05 pm

I think gay people are very intelligent, creative people. Much like left-handed peopld (lol). Have you ever noticed how many left-hand people are super creative and very analytical???

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:06 pm

Blackfoote – That’s unfortunate.

I grew up in the Grant Park area.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:06 pm

Leggs – Me too. I think she’s a bright cookie. I like her.

kimmie

July 11th, 2012
12:07 pm

Leggs – How much you want to bet he didn’t here that or anything else Suzy said, or even knows who she is!LOL!!

That seems like advice for folks that are super-disciplined, which most athletes & entertainers and folks not used to managing large sums of money are not.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:08 pm

I just wish he could have liquidated or something before it came to having his things removed.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:09 pm

My tummy is aching today. I had a burrito in a bowl from Chic-fil-a, naturally I’m not hungry. I’ll be hungry around 4-ish

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
12:13 pm

Cely tel me you’re not a Smith High alumni? I think at the time that was the only high school in the area. I went to MLKing middle school when they first built it next to Smith High.

He should have had a plan long before the moving trucks came in.

disco

July 11th, 2012
12:13 pm

since we are on finances I just have to comment on old boy that didn’t make the cut because he has a bankruptcy. how come this guy is trying to convince me that he’s good with his money. in his mind he’s good with his money because he works and pays his bills and everything with cash. he’s the person that goes to the phone company, electric company, gas company etc. in person to pay bills. and folks think I exaggerate when I say it’s a jungle out there.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
12:17 pm

With the kind of money he had I would have gone and paid cash for the house, cars, and other big ticket items.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:17 pm

Blackfoote – I didn’t but I was zoned for either Smith or Roosevelt. My mom taught summer school one year at King. I was over there with her. King was already there when we moved on that side of town. Yep, that’s my old neck of the woods. We lived there from the time I was in the 3rd grade until I turned 17. We moved to Lithonia then.

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
12:18 pm

kimmie ~ I can’t bet because I’m with you. Holyfield didn’t hear a damn thing she was saying. He probably doesn’t even know him.

I’ve been in his house and I was amazed at all flamboyance of it all, as well as the startkness, emptiness I felt in the home.

Been in Tupac’s mother’s home and immediately never wanted to leave her bedroom. That room has so much soul, warmth, you immediatley felt loved when you walked in (my take).

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
12:19 pm

My tummy hurts and “had a burrito in a bowl from Chic-fil-a” makes my body hurts (lol).

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:19 pm

Blackfoote – That was our take as well. When you’re getting big ticket items, pay cash for that stuff.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:20 pm

Leggs – You don’t like Chic-fil-a? That’s about the only FF I’ll eat, if I eat any. And then it’s a salad (usually) or their chicken salad sandwich. I’m funny about that though. That’s the ONLY place I’ll eat chicken salad (aside from my church and home). And even to that, I’ll only buy that item from 2 locations.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:21 pm

disco – Okay, what will you accept from a dude? What flaws are acceptable because, at this point everyone has flaws.

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
12:22 pm

disco ~ he’s forced to be good with his cash. Having money is money saved in various accounts. Having assets that you can’t take to the neighborhood bodega. Working solely with cash and paying your bills with cash is not being good with your money.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
12:22 pm

104 rooms and the pool area is bigger than some apartment complexes. I hope he has a stash somewhere that nobody but him knows about.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:23 pm

Not suggesting this guy is a good candidate. I think the no convo guy, no book of late was better than him.

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
12:28 pm

burrito in a bowl…what’s all in there? I just have an infinity to foods mixed up together. One reason why I’ve never had a pot pie in my life.

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
12:29 pm

So often people that are show off what they have, really have very little. I know some people that work at BCBG and places like that in Lenox retail and drive BMWs, but have a ton of debt. May look rich from the outside, but credit is shot and on the verge of bankrupt behind the scenes. I stayed in a $6 million dollar house last week and his advice was, its not how much you have, but how much you save. Value of money with compound investments allow the true success where people are showing off things that isn’t the reality of the situation

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
12:30 pm

Dang Cely seem like we’re getting closer and closer to being family sho nuff. I grew up on the other side of 20 across from Capital Homes. They tore down all the govt. housing there and rebuilt I went to Ed S. Cook elementary on Memorial Dr.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:30 pm

Sausage, eggs, peppers and onions…you add salsa or not. Usually I add to packs.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:32 pm

Blackfoote – When I’d ride the 31 Grant Park bus home from school (hs), the route would take us through Capital Homes. About 2 miles out from there, we’d pass Smith HS. Small small world :)

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:34 pm

Blackfoote – Are you familiar with the restaurant Grandma Biscuits (I think that was the name of it). There was nowhere to sit down and eat but it was a log cabin type place. The had the BEST steak and gravy biscuit. If I was just me and mama,she’d get us both one. If it was the entire clan, then we got sausage and biscuit and she and pops had steak and gravy….lol

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
12:37 pm

sausage and gravy biscuits, are you serious? Not exactly a healthy well balanced meal

disco

July 11th, 2012
12:38 pm

C – fyi. all this “wrong” is the same guy. bankruptcy, illnesses/ailments, no convo. a friend asked me what was the attraction and all I could say was “girl, he was big and black”. lol.

disco

July 11th, 2012
12:39 pm

who talked about the prison cut pounds on here? dude was like 6’3”, 250 or so very solid pounds, jet and wearing white. I thought I had to have it. I thought wrong.

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
12:40 pm

Haha Disco – where do you find these guys!? Raise the bar on those Standards!

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:40 pm

disco – LOLOLOL…noooooo, say it ain’t so. Girl, dump him.

ATL Guy – I know…why am I responding…lol CORRECTION: steak and gravy OR sausage. Dude…never mind…lol You have real issues. Why don’t you take it offline and square up with me if you have that big of a problem with me. Hmmm??? Otherwise, play nice and move the hell on.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:41 pm

ATL Guy – Oh, you should call Family and Children Services for our bad diet :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
12:41 pm

Grandma Biscuits was the stop of the town, you could get the best fresh made everything in there. I was like your pops I had to have a steak and gravy biscuit everyday. I would lick the gravy off foil wrapper it was so good.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
12:42 pm

Blackfoote – Oh snaaaaaaaaaap, you know about Grandma Biscuits?!?! Yep, everything came wrapped in foil! I love it! Small world :)

GracieL

July 11th, 2012
12:43 pm

“The things people have told her about him so far are enough to fill up a soap opera. Of course, she does not see this side of him at all.”

People ignore this because they want to believe what they want to believe — that he or she is different, that this time is different, that the drama was always somebody else’s fault, and that this person has changed because… THIS time it’s the real thing.

They are ignoring what others say, and they’re ignoring the little voice inside that says, “Warning! Something ain’t right here.”

Chance of regret: 96%
(Chance of dying before regret: 4%)