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Dating: Reformed player?

Some single people get a bad dating reputation because of past mistakes. Whether it’s breaking hearts or breaking cars, we have all done things we are particularly proud of. There are some things that are harder to live down though.

When you decide to grow up and start “dating responsibly” you probably will face a few challenges in cleaning up your rep. Do people believe you when you tell them that you have changed? A lot of people won’t! You probably will have to show them more than tell them.

A friend of mine found out that she is seeing a guy who has quite a bad dating record. The things people have told her about him so far are enough to fill up a soap opera. Of course, she does not see this side of him at all. He has convinced her that everything she heard was when he was young and dumb. Maybe he is a reformed player?

Do you think there is such a thing as a reformed player? Someone who has learned from their mistakes and cleaned up their act?

Are you reformed? How can one tell for sure that the person they are seeing has turned over a new leaf?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

482 comments Add your comment

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
10:26 am

ATL Guy – One thing you’re not is a playa. Playas (or men) aren’t messy and catty. Not saying it’s a free pass for women to be but usually you won’t catch a man getting caught up in drama. They just move it along. If you’re hanging on and thinking about me when you’ve logged off, make efforts to make one jealous (VERY elementary btw), you are NOT a playa…lolololol

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
10:28 am

Playas don’t catch feelings :)

DreamsMaterialize

July 11th, 2012
10:28 am

Morning
disco I’m running that BGR 10k in September. My homegirl is coming from DC to run it too. I think it’s going to be pretty big. You should do it!

On topic: Anyone can be reformed at any age. You just have to understand that for most people perception is reality, so don’t be surprised if many don’t believe that you’re really reformed. But then skepticism is the price you pay for years of reckless behavior. If you’re truly reformed, everyone may not believe it, but the right one will.

disco

July 11th, 2012
10:29 am

ATL guy – I agree. the female players are rampant. thing is the female player is more low key. the guy generally likes to put his player status out there for all too see. he wants the world to know he’s a player. the female player’s success depends on her ability to stay under the radar and remain relatively undetected. it’s a different game.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
10:29 am

Cely wins the first award way to go.
On players, I’ve never thought myself to be one but I have tried to dabble. I would have a feeling of guilt and my conscious reminded me I’m not all that so go back under the stairwell or sit down somewhere. Some guys are natural born charmers but it is on the woman to be dilligent that she doesn’t get played.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
10:30 am

Hey there Blackfoote! I thought about you earlier :)

Jeff

July 11th, 2012
10:30 am

Can a woman be a reformed gold digger? A reformed slut? A reformed nag?

Anyone can see the error of their ways.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
10:32 am

OMGosh….LOLOL I’m ca-racking up at Jeff. That was said with force…lol

disco

July 11th, 2012
10:32 am

dreams – re BGR. I’ve put it on my calendar and I’m placing feelers to gauge interest. I’m not involved with the local BGR here but might check them out. goodness knows my friends aren’t running anything but their mouths. lol.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
10:33 am

Dreams – How long have you been running?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
10:37 am

Hey there Cely your thoughts are well received.

kimmie

July 11th, 2012
10:39 am

More power to all you runners! Personally, I would rather get a tooth pulled than run!LOL!!

I’m sure SCool will be all up in that run!

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
10:40 am

Blackfoote – :)

I wish I had the drive to be a runner.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
10:47 am

I also think some people can reform and leave destructive behavior behind them. I don’t see the once a playa always a playa distinction, folks can go in and out of phases throughout their life span. Changing from this to that until they find something that suits them.

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
10:51 am

It seems like a lot of playas have it in their blood. Even if they’ve been out the game for a few years, that tiny hint of easy prey (blood) in the waters, have them gnashing their teeth.

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
10:54 am

Running is Awesome. Its tough to stick with it initially because it can feel demoralzing at times, but stay with it and continue to improve. My suggestion, push your limits on each run. Its been my moment of clarity as they say and actually changes the way you drink / eat / live. Everyone needs some kind of outlet so its important. Had been doing 18 miles at a time last year, but I’m not training for any marathons this year so average run is probably 6 miles like three times a week.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:01 am

It’s funny how men (and women) vastly differs. I have four brothers of which one was a playa through and through, one only desired one woman at a time, one was/is a “wannabe”, loving only “high yellow” women, and one loved sex and drugs….drugs being first.

The one that was a true playa, iyayaya, we (none of us), never had any rest. From the time he was a teenager, women were knocking us all over, getting in line. I remember when he bought his porsche, talk about ho magnet. My mama was constantly having our home number changed…lol And her favorite word was strumpet…lol For years, one chick would knock out any woman she found out about…until he met my SIL. They eventuall married but later divorced cause he wouldn’t stop cheating.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
11:01 am

Leggs fresh blood is how we described women that were deemed easy prey. Whether it is circuling the waters like Jaws or a fresh kill by the big bad wolf there was an arua about them that said easy.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:02 am

Blood in the water….ahhh yeah, a man can smell it a gazillion miles away.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:04 am

Heck, women can smell it (on other women).

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
11:05 am

I know, BF. I know. Best believe I’ve knocked as much of that aura away from my child that I can (lol). She’s new to dating, but she’ll never be a strumpet. Everybody plays a fool at a point in their life, I just hope that’s minimized too. I’ve told her to do her best to never let an iota of her weaknesses drip into the water (don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve).

disco

July 11th, 2012
11:08 am

C – my brothers (one a self-proclaimed half A player and one a full fledged player from the cradle to the grave) both tease my son because the ho gene skipped him. my son has always been a one chick type. he’s also always been the long term type. heck, his little jr. high girlfriend lasted all 3 years and might have gone longer but I relocated his freshman year of high school.

ATLguy – I can’t stand the word awesome outside of church. I dig running though. always have. primarily because I’m not really a team player and even in the relay you really are only responsible for your own performance. now I run to take the edge off. lol. it’s a nice little attitude adjustment. I also tend to sleep better on run days.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:12 am

disco – Yeah, the ho gene skipped around in my family. The brother that did drugs LOVED women as well. He never had the resources my other brother had for pulling. But um, yeah he was a ho too.

I find that refreshing about your son. He’s gonna make for a good mate/SO/husband, in that regard, as long as he keeps that up.

Talking about running, I ran track in hs. I wasn’t half bad but running now? Not so much.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:15 am

When I look back now, I’m soooo happy I was raised around men. Not saying the stuff they did was cute. As a kid, it didn’t resonate with me (back then), but coming up a lot of what I say was always top of mind in dealing with men.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:16 am

saw not say

I feel like we’re fishing for stuff to talk about…lol Anybody got anything they wanna toss out? Disco, did you get both your topics out?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
11:17 am

Cely for the most part young men and even some old heads have had long runs with women. I’ve seen the nerd guy never got attention turn everything around and now has a harem. I’ve seen the slick types with all the trimmings go straight to junk because he thought he was gifted to women and the lady’s didn’t think so any more. A paradigm shift is warranted for a man 40 up wanting to be a playa. That was funny how you and Kimmie said a guy still in his 40’s trying to find himself what a bunch of crock………LOL

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
11:19 am

disco ~ that’s one of the words I gripe about as well. “Awesome” should be removed from the dictionary because everything these days is freaking “awesome.” UUUGGGHHH….

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
11:24 am

So riding on MARTA back from the Airport over the weekend this woman was on her cell phone in front of me yelling “who is this woman that picked up your phone? Are you Married? Meet me at Doraville Station in 10 mins … ” She was heated and I busted out laughing! Couldn’t help it, so crazy

disco

July 11th, 2012
11:25 am

C – yeah. I’m done. just venting about my co-worker and her one animal print top and her other animal print shoes. DM is doing the BGR. I’ve got nothing else right now.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:25 am

Blackfoote – I’ve definitely seen that as well. IMO it’s almost “the smart thing to do”, in putting stock in a nerd. Just from his selection of his career path, he’s bound to do well. Funny how money make folks brand new…lol Slick folks never wake up, IMO. It’s always a day late and a dollar short of them, by the time they “get it”

Anyone at 40 or OVER, should be tarred and feather for that kind of behavior. I know though, if he/she is a playa, they just hit his prime…lol

ATL Guy

July 11th, 2012
11:26 am

@Disco – you’ll definitely sleep better and will hit a ‘runner’s high’. After awhile your body kind of craves it and you feel like a lazy slob if you go 3 days without hitting the pavement! I hate the word Moist, so there you go

DreamsMaterialize

July 11th, 2012
11:28 am

goodness knows my friends aren’t running anything but their mouths. lol.
disco that’s too funny. come on down to The A and get your run on. Should be a good time.

Dreams – How long have you been running?
Celly Been running consistently about a year now. Started out pretty slow, but my distance and pace are improving alot now. September will be my first 10k. I’m trying to get my sexy on. ;-)

Personally, I would rather get a tooth pulled than run!LOL!!
kimmie I’m with you all day on this. I don’t like running at all, but the health benefits are undeniable. The cardio is great, and the calorie burn is virtually unmatched.

Bluzgirl

July 11th, 2012
11:30 am

I believe some people can change. Unfortunately, I really thought my ex had changed from his past, but he proved me wrong. I was definitely duped! My eyes will be open even wider in the future!

As far as animal print…I’m obsessed with leopards! My first tattoo was a leopard on my shoulder. I do not wear much leopard print because it is hard to make it look classy. I have one shirt that is a nice print and I’ll wear it occasionally. I have leopard print strategically placed in my house. I don’t think I’ve gone overboard!

DreamsMaterialize

July 11th, 2012
11:31 am

“Awesome” should be removed from the dictionary because everything these days is freaking “awesome.”
Leggs & disco Can we add “swag” and “real talk” to that list of overly used played out words?

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
11:31 am

I thought disco was talking about coming to see the race, not be in it???

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:32 am

Dreams – That is fantab (can’t say awesome…lol)! Get your sexy on then! I think a few days ago you said three miles? You go boy!

Leggs

July 11th, 2012
11:33 am

DreamsM ~ after my first 10K I was on such a high, I got home around 10 or 11 that evening and stayed up calling folk “making” them embrace my joy (lol).

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
11:33 am

“money make folks brand new”

So true is this.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:33 am

You have my vote for tossing out swag

kimmie

July 11th, 2012
11:36 am

Dreams – I did a fitness bootcamp 3 days a week thru the month of June. We started every class with a run. I would be messed up before I started! LOL!!

Anyway, we are setting up a nice little home gym. We got a really nice recondant exercise bike, top of the line. It has several 20 minute workouts programmed on it that almost match that bootcamp! Nice in my cool basement as opposed to being outside with that bootcamp!

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:37 am

Kimmie – Are you a runner?

kimmie

July 11th, 2012
11:39 am

Celisea – Not even!

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:39 am

Anyone else on here a runner? It seems the majority run.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:39 am

Kimmie – Whew! I was feeling bad there for a sec and left out…lol

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:40 am

Well, outside of HS track, my running days are over. I’ll do almost anything else though. Just don’t want to run. I wish I had that thing in me to do it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
11:42 am

Did y’all catch Holyfields 104 rooms of furniture in his former mansion being removed by the sheriff dept. He still owes 14 mil., and it was auctioned off for 7 mil. Man that’s a sad one there, I always thought Holyfield held it together better than this. All the children and alimony dried up 250 mil he made during his boxing career.

kimmie

July 11th, 2012
11:44 am

I wish I had that thing in me to do it.

C – Me too, but that gene seems to have skipped me. I can power walk all day, ride bikes, skate even, but jog/run – no way.

disco

July 11th, 2012
11:45 am

Leggs – making folks embrace your joy. funny. a bit pushy but I like it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 11th, 2012
11:46 am

Cley I haven’t ran 40 feet since I stopped playing football. The only time I would think about running is if a guy ran at me pointing a gun.

Celisea...tiptoeing through the tulips headed for vacay!!

July 11th, 2012
11:46 am

Kimmie – Me too…lol I welcome all that other stuff but no can do, with running. For one thing, I always feel like I’m under a strain or something. I don’t know if that’s the feeling you have because you’ve not done it and have to adjust but, I don’t like how I feel. Especially my heart feeling like it’s going to jump out of my chest.