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Dating dilemma: Nobody likes your mate

My new beau (I know, I’m shocked too) has invited me to attend a wedding that will have loads of his relatives. I’m not all that worried because I’m something like a Mom Whisperer. Mothers love me with their sons, what can I say? It’s a blessing and a curse.

I thought about the men (uhh the one guy) that my parents met and how awful I felt when things didn’t go that well. Dad thought he looked like an inmate because he had a scar on his face. My Father, the comedian still jokingly asks me “What ever happened to Scarface?

I digress. The point is, it can be problematic when your new relationship is tested by disapproval of family or friends. If you are from a close knit family, you are forced to become a mediator. You feel stuck in the middle and you never want to choose between the two. The question is, should you have to?

What happens when nobody likes your mate? How do you handle it when everyone around you has negative things to say about your relationship?

Should you take heed and pay attention? Do you think what they say is true, “Love is blind” and you have to listen to the opinions of others?

Have you ever dated someone that caused a serious challenge in your other relationships?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

295 comments Add your comment

cba

July 3rd, 2012
1:39 pm

Leggs, I was sorta thinking that way…..they were giving me a head’s up :lol:

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
1:41 pm

swiss – Isn’t that panther p!ss???

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
1:43 pm

As far a pheremones go, aren’t we all attracted to different ones…like we don’t all have the same chemistry so not sure if spraying Big Foot juice on your will attract anything other than flies and gnats. I’ve heard of chick dabbing some of their own juice on the pulse points to attract more men

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
1:43 pm

YAY, we get to dip at 3!! :D

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
1:54 pm

but how do we explain the extreme bout of h0rniness pre-flow??

As I’ve said earlier with regards to the increase in appetite…close to the same thing. Every month our bodies prepare for a baby and when it doesn’t happen…here comes Auntie. On a very basic human nature level our bodies(evolution is amazing..I love science) are trying to get pregnant so that’s why we get super h0rny around that time…also keep in mind that certain hormones we have being are being released…some more than others that help in trying to get pregnant. Ever wonder why some women close to menopause get extra h0rny?…or why women reach their sexual prime right BEFORE menopause…cause the body knows it’s reproductive years are ending and it’s once again aiming at procreation. NOT that you’re actively trying to get pregnant…it’s just years of evolution.

I see you Leggs…and yes “but ” spray would do just as good a job :lol:

Willie D…yes I am (SMILE)

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
2:01 pm

Enter your comments here

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
2:02 pm

Sassy – oh my dayum (not-smiling, I’m focused now) keep talking.

Exiled!

July 3rd, 2012
2:03 pm

So Slim, when u get pre-PMS h0rnyness, u take an advil or u get VVIP treatment? :lol:

Exiled!

July 3rd, 2012
2:05 pm

I meant, wih the accompnaying PMS headache Slim?

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
2:06 pm

Exiled – You always manage to tie in some form of sex act into any topic.

kimmie

July 3rd, 2012
2:08 pm

disco – That’s funny about the limo. And the dude with the family thing too!LOL!! Thing is, when it comes to me & folks families, like any other social setting, I don’t sweat it. I just be myself and either they can roll with it or not. I can fit in anywhere and make the most of it. I’m not jumping thru hoops to “make” anyone like me though.

I really would rather talk about anything, root canals even, than anyone’s cycle. Really you guys, especially with dudes? :shock: Even though I’m a woman, I really don’t have any patience with other women’s hormonal mood swings. And in the workplace, I feel all women kind of get lumped in that same catagory – too emotional to handle anything so we get no respect. Count me out of that – I handles mine, nobody would ever know and that’s how it should be. Credit my mom for that!

disco

July 3rd, 2012
2:09 pm

willie D – I think I mentioned on here that I’m not into the practical jokes. as far as I’m concerned they are all playing too much. imo, jokey joke types need to be with other jokey joke types. I’d leave a man that was always pranking me because I’d be ticked off all the time or plotting revenge. revenge for me wouldn’t be a counter joke, revenge for me

Celisea/cba – re aunt flo making those sporadic mid-life appearances. That’s how those late life accident/surprise/blessing/miracle babies get here.

Exiled!

July 3rd, 2012
2:11 pm

I didnt mean sex Slim…

I meant a massage! :lol:

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
2:14 pm

That’s how those late life accident/surprise/blessing/miracle babies get here

It’s never over until Aunt Flo says it’s over. lol My mom is going through menapause and all the hot flashes that come with it

disco

July 3rd, 2012
2:15 pm

kimmie – I know countless chicks who let their mother in laws take them through the ringer. also know many who bend over backwards trying to impress the in-laws before they are even legally in-laws. to each his own but I’m not the one. I try to make sure guys understand that going in. not saying I’m going in to disrespect your momma but I don’t have a problem reminding him and/or her that she’s not my momma.

disco

July 3rd, 2012
2:18 pm

slim – I met a lady who didn’t want children. took precautions her entire adult life. thought she went through menopause and the coast was clear only to discover she was expecting and a routine doctor’s visit. she was heartbroken and devastated. approaching 50 and about to have her first child.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm

disco – A friend of mine told me that happened to her SIL. The chick already had kids that were grown and here she was 45 (i believe) about to have another kid. She was severely depressed.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
2:26 pm

Exiled – The only massage given was that of my tongue licking the strawberry topping off my spoon when eating my cheesecake ;-)

Exiled!

July 3rd, 2012
2:26 pm

Disco? how about just treating folks same way,whether its mother in law or not?

Mother in law does not connort special treatment…just treat her same way u wld treat ur mum,hopefullly respectfully.

Now, some chic will treat a mum in law waaay specil coz she thinks mum in law will say a word to her son so she can marry her..thats different but it happens.

Exiled!

July 3rd, 2012
2:27 pm

that of his tongue licking…….

cake cake cake cake…..

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
2:27 pm

not saying I’m going in to disrespect your momma but I don’t have a problem reminding him and/or her that she’s not my momma.

Okay?!?!

thought she went through menopause and the coast was clear

The change of life happens in stages and could last for upwards of 10+ years…menopause has four main stages(pre,peri,meno and post) and there’s no set time as for duration. Doctors usually advise women that they may follow their mother’s pattern…they may follow but that’s not quite etched in stone either. So that poor lady thought she was in the clear and ended up with a bun in her oven…

kimmie

July 3rd, 2012
2:28 pm

disco – The worst I’ve dealt with regarding dude’s moms are the dudes themselves – mama’s boys. One dude’s mom would call over to my apt looking for him! Another would use “having” to go see his mom as an cover for his extracurricular activities. I had no trouble letting them know what wusses they were. The last one in particular, I let know I hope he didn’t think throwing “mama” out to me all the time made my expectations of him any less, that somehow that is supposed to stop me in my tracks. He looked at me like I had 2 heads, but I think deep down he seemed to respect me more.

disco

July 3rd, 2012
2:29 pm

ex – duh!!!! I get that. I’m just saying that not every chick does get it.

sassy – okay is right. not everybody’s momma is a sweet, little old lady. some of these mothers are straight beeyotches.

kimmie

July 3rd, 2012
2:33 pm

Exiled – I’m with you – I treat everyone kindly, moms are no exception. I never did that “extra” ish to a boyfriend’s mom, thinking she’d get him to marry me. I respected all of them too much to think they couldn’t see thru that mess. Plus, I didn’t want anyone marrying me out of pressure from anyone. If you are not man enought to decide on your own, miss me!

kimmie

July 3rd, 2012
2:34 pm

not everybody’s momma is a sweet, little old lady. some of these mothers are straight beeyotches.

disco – I second that!!

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
2:34 pm

not everybody’s momma is a sweet, little old lady

Lil Scrappy’s mom comes to mind :lol:

cba

July 3rd, 2012
2:36 pm

Ms cba took that oops out of the equation many years ago.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
2:37 pm

The worst I’ve dealt with regarding dude’s moms are the dudes themselves – mama’s boys

Tell me about it..what’s worse are the widowed mothers who act like their sons are their men and NOT their sons…they act as if they trump EVERY other woman in his life at ALL times, regardless if he’s married or not. It’s almost like a competition of sorts…

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
2:39 pm

Lil Scrappy’s mom comes to mind

I’m sure she does..her and Keisha Coles mom and Jim Jones’ mom,too…

Speaking of lil Scrappy’s mom..I’d never get on national tv and tell anyone my mama used to deal dope and pimp women…

kimmie

July 3rd, 2012
2:40 pm

Sassy – That’s the ultimate dealbreaker. If you can’t get your mom, grandmama or whomever in check(respectfully), I gots no time for ya. My own mom cut the apron strings a very long time ago!

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
2:45 pm

not everybody’s momma is a sweet, little old lady

Lil Scrappy’s mom comes to mind

Now, that is funny…that woman is straight hood. Probably walk around with blades in her hair, under her tongue, between her fingers.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
2:46 pm

Leggs – She told Scrappy he needed to ‘handle that’ in reference to Stevie J calling his BM a biyah biyah

disco

July 3rd, 2012
2:48 pm

and to think I was sitting here thinking “who the heck is lil scrappy”. I should have known y’all wouldn’t leave me hanging.

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
2:49 pm

Can yall imagine a young chick all lovey dovey with a dude going to meet the future MIL and its Disco? Hahaha

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
2:49 pm

Something is gravely wrong with Stevie J. You would think Mama Dee raised his pimpish, short, egotistical self.

disco

July 3rd, 2012
2:54 pm

willie d – my son and brother have already both (jokingly?) decided that they will put their final contenders to the test by not only doing the “meet the family” thing but by leaving the chicks alone. if they can hang and/or defend themselves, then they are keepers. if they cry or call for help they don’t make the cut. lol.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
2:57 pm

I wonder how Stevie was brought up

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
3:00 pm

You all enjoy the holiday, be safe and don’t get caught slippin while sippin… ;-)

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
3:11 pm

She told Scrappy he needed to ‘handle that’ in reference to Stevie J calling his BM a biyah biyah

And of course you know he did it…I’m wondering why the baby’s mama told Scrappy any way…she had this really smug smile on her face while he was talking about wanting to “put these paws on him”. She never should’ve told him and if she did there was a way for her to diffuse the situation…his mom could’ve calmed him down,too, instead of hyping him up for foolishness…AND he’s on probation at that…

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
3:15 pm

I wonder how Stevie was brought up

I’on know but I was wondering what he had to make ol girl stay with him for 15 years and NOT be married…even Joseline was like, “He’s the best I ever had”…I suspected it was the hammer. Well I read an article on ESSENCE talking about the same thing…the article literally said it’ the D(for real y’all). I didn’t know he’s the guy Eve made that sex tape with and from what I read that “D” had her gone in the head somthin awful…that must be an impressive hammer but that shouldn’t be the end all be all..

Exiled!

July 3rd, 2012
3:19 pm

Sassy..had to laugh at ur descitpiton of the hammer!

woooooo! :lol:

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
3:23 pm

The thing that surprised me Ex is the fact that there’s an article about it…I mean he’s literally hit those women over the head with it(pun so intended)…

Robert

July 3rd, 2012
3:24 pm

“What happens when nobody likes your mate? ”

Last year my 25 yr. old daughter came to my house for a 4th of July “Bar-b-que”. She told me she was bringing her new boyfriend. To my surprise the boyfriend was an older man, and he had the nerve to dress and act like a younger man in his 20-30’s. He wore a baseball cap, blue jeans and sneakers (Bama). My daughter knows how I feel about older men dating younger women. She is too young to date a 40 year old man. When he came inside my house he forgot to show respect and remove his baseball cap which is very disrespectful. You do not come into my house and show no respect. My daughter saw me looking at him like he was a “thug” ready to find a reason to kick his ass. She removed his baseball cap off his head and asked to see me in private. She realized the pressure I was about to put on him and asked him to leave.

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
3:24 pm

Even the best of yall/us get puddy whipped or dic-ktamized. But 15 yrs dayum.

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
3:28 pm

So now we get the story. A wannabe thug/bama is knocking off Roberts lil girl. Maybe dude shouldv’e came in the house drinking scotch wearing a fedora.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
3:29 pm

Exactly Willie…15 yrs is a looong time to be sprung…

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
3:31 pm

</strongthe boyfriend was an older man, and he had the nerve to dress and act like a younger man in his 20-30’s. He wore a baseball cap, blue jeans and sneakers (Bama).

This explains a lot. The issues with jeans and a baseball cap and calling folks bama…noooow I get it.

disco

July 3rd, 2012
3:31 pm

willie d – funny.

robert – you should appreciate a fake thug (and an older – more mature? – one at that). she could have brought home a real thug and that little scenario could have gone left in a hurry. lol.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
3:32 pm

He wore a baseball cap, blue jeans and sneakers (Bama).

GASP!!

How dare he come to a BAR-B-QUE dressed like it was some casual event?!…the nerve of him..

Maybe dude shouldv’e came in the house drinking scotch wearing a fedora.

And he should’ve had on a blazer with the patches on the elbow and an ascot in the upper pocket…

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
3:32 pm

He might have gotten a better reception, WillieD. Nonetheless, remove your hat. Especially man to man!! Don’t come crossing my threshold like we’re equals.