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Dating dilemma: Nobody likes your mate

My new beau (I know, I’m shocked too) has invited me to attend a wedding that will have loads of his relatives. I’m not all that worried because I’m something like a Mom Whisperer. Mothers love me with their sons, what can I say? It’s a blessing and a curse.

I thought about the men (uhh the one guy) that my parents met and how awful I felt when things didn’t go that well. Dad thought he looked like an inmate because he had a scar on his face. My Father, the comedian still jokingly asks me “What ever happened to Scarface?

I digress. The point is, it can be problematic when your new relationship is tested by disapproval of family or friends. If you are from a close knit family, you are forced to become a mediator. You feel stuck in the middle and you never want to choose between the two. The question is, should you have to?

What happens when nobody likes your mate? How do you handle it when everyone around you has negative things to say about your relationship?

Should you take heed and pay attention? Do you think what they say is true, “Love is blind” and you have to listen to the opinions of others?

Have you ever dated someone that caused a serious challenge in your other relationships?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

295 comments Add your comment

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
11:48 am

I’m just waiting on them to ring the bell…dang I’m ready to go. I was feeling okay about working all day until my coworker called me and said my mgr called her to reschedule her 1:1 and put that tidbit in her ear.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
12:01 pm

GIVE US FREEEEEE!!!!

I’m sooo rett to go…I think I feel a cough..cough…

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
12:03 pm

Well, I know I’ll be here until 5:30. He rarely lets me leave early.

czBrat

July 3rd, 2012
12:04 pm

um. early release would end up costing me lots of $$$ cuz all i can do to kill time until 7pm yoga class is shop.

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
12:04 pm

Woo hoo 2:00 it is!!!! Of course she always says take your laptops and forward your phones to your cells. Translation: you can’t go shopping or by the rib shack but straight home to finish working. Hey, no complaints, that works for me :) :)

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
12:07 pm

Fine Celi…you show off :mean:

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
12:07 pm

Aww my emoticon didn’t come out right…you get the jist Celi :lol:

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
12:08 pm

Sassy – I got it…lol

Bluzgirl

July 3rd, 2012
12:15 pm

I’m definitely not feeling being at work today. I was off yesterday and had a couple of doctor appointments. I think it was hard to get up this morning to work one day, then off tomorrow, then back for two days. I don’t know…I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and have been in a mood! I’ve warned my coworkers. LOL

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
12:31 pm

Afternoon All,
Nothing much on topic. How is everyone today?

czBrat

July 3rd, 2012
12:35 pm

hey willie. glad you could join us. it’s been terribly exciting. :sad:

well, boss lady called around 10 to say that she was already on her flight out of town. boss man just called to say “guess you don’t need me today, so i’ll see you whenever”.

me thinks my pto has begun. i think i’ll hang here and enjoy the peace and quiet for a while tho.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
12:35 pm

I’ll probably be here till 5 as usual…so far no signs or hints to an early release. :cry:

How about this for O/T…do yall believe PMS is real or a myth? (fellas feel free to provide your feedback)

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
12:38 pm

Alright folks…I’m stoked. I just finished my training (where I received a warning that sr. mgmnt would be notified if you haven’t completed by 7/8), we’re leaving at 2:00 and I’m headed down to get something healthy to eat.

Can y’all tell I’m stoked??? LOLOLOL

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
12:39 pm

Slim – I know you’re asking the men but PMS is real!!

disco

July 3rd, 2012
12:40 pm

slim – I forgot. I have an off topic too. to address yours though – I’ve always been the chick who told the PMS chicks to stop whining. don’t know if it’s real or not but even if it is grown women have been dealing with periods for years and need to control themselves and their emotions. just my take though.

Here’s my off topic. is this funny or is it playing too much? husband and wife are riding with hubs driving. when hubs isn’t paying attention wife turns on his heated seat. mind you this is in the 100+ temps. apparently it took him a while to realize the seat warmer was on and meanwhile he’s sweating bullets. she thinks this was hilarious. I think it was playing too much.

C – stop bragging.

kimmie

July 3rd, 2012
12:41 pm

Afternoon gang!!!!

All mamas like me, always have. When I was younger it was somewhat of a curse it seemed. The dudes felt pressure I think. One told me his mom pulled him aside after meeting me the 1st time & told him “she’s a keeper. Don’t mess over her!”

I love for the fam to like me, but it’s more important that he & like EACH OTHER! And while I’d like to dismiss the approval of families, as I get older, it can be important, within reason. If you get married, like it or not, you are marrying into another family as well. Doesn’t really matter the physical distance either, cause sooner or later you will have to deal. One of my friends that lives here has a BIL in Hawaii that despises her. He treats her like pure dirt the few times they have been around each other.

Alot of times family can see things you can’t. The few times my fam didn’t care for someone I dated, they were right on the money. They are always respectful to my friends, but they pulled me aside after with their concerns, out of love. I’m lucky like that, with immediate family anyway. The few distant relatives that had something to say, it was always out of jealousy. Got some cousins right now that don’t invite me to anything since I got married. I was their whipping girl, the one they gossipped about not having a man and saying one would never want me! I made sure I sent them a wedding announcement with my beautiful new family picture! They are beyond peeved!LOL!!

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
12:43 pm

I asked because I guess my energy level diminishes at the onsite of my “aunt flo”…So this morn the beau texts me asking how I was feeling and said I wasn’t myself last night so he was giving me some “me time”…said it was all good because he “knew what time it was’ ??? Now I know I didn’t have an attitude or anything but I was a bit lethargic and quiet. I just thought it strange that he picked up on that…

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
12:44 pm

disco – I would say that was mild funny joke :lol: That’s happened to me where it took a while to realize why i was so freaking hot when usually i’m the cold one

disco

July 3rd, 2012
12:49 pm

kimmie – just this week a guy was saying to me how he wishes I could meet a lot of his relatives. going on and on about how open and warm and loving they are and blah blah blah. Instead of rolling with it, me being me, I told him that it’s all good if folks like me but I’m not the chick to go out of my way to try to get folks to like me. if we get along, great. if we don’t they can kick rocks.

slim – most folks did think it was funny. I wouldn’t have been tickled at all. in fact I might have been leaning towards anger and it’s so not worth it in the name of a prank.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
12:49 pm

WD – Do you ever notice a change in behavior with your Mrs either before or after her monthly?

Bluzgirl

July 3rd, 2012
12:51 pm

Disco…I think that is funny! I hope the hubby found it funny and has found a way to get back at her!

Slim…I definitely believe in it! I think that may be my problem right now with being moody. Usually, no one else can tell, though, that I’m PMS’ing. I try not to be any different to others. I definitely get moody and crave red meat and chocolate!!!

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
12:55 pm

“do yall believe PMS is real or a myth? (fellas feel free to provide your feedback)” – I think a can or worms has been opened.

disco

July 3rd, 2012
12:56 pm

kimmie – also re your not being able to get a man (according to your cousins) how come one of my cousins got married way back when and my son and brother were infatuated with the idea of riding in a limo. they went on and on about riding in a limo. my mother said they could ride in a limo when I got married and both kids were like “yeah right. like that’s going to happen”. my mother, not making it any better, chimed in that eventually someone would die and they could ride in the funeral limo. to this day we still joke about that.

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
12:56 pm

Before my cycle, I’m eating everything in sight…namely sweets, I’m super “ahem” and I’m (sometimes) mean…it’s real

disco – I laughed at the heating the seat issue but maybe playing too much in this weather.

Exiled!

July 3rd, 2012
12:57 pm

Slim?

PMS..so ur perfomance was not stella last nite and beau picked on it?

ofcourse he would…..

why u want us to comment on ur pre-PMS perfomance anyway Slim? :lol:

good merning MIA!

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
12:59 pm

Brat – hey what’s up with you?
Disco – that’s was funny and just a clean prank. Why so serious?

Slim – yes its real and yes I pay attention and know the schedule. Selfishly I plan some me time around the monthly. Mean but a win win.

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
1:06 pm

…but I was a bit lethargic and quiet. I just thought it strange that he picked up on that…” I hope you would find it a lot stanger if he hadn’t picked up on it. Men should know when their woman’s personality has shifted (good or bad). It shows that they are paying attention and are intune and can recognize when things aren’t necessarily centered.

That’s a good thing, SlimUno.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
1:07 pm

Cel/Bluz – I had a nice big piece of cheese cake last night and I didn’t want to be bothered while I ate it :lol:

Bluzgirl

July 3rd, 2012
1:09 pm

Slim…that’s making my mouth water! I have to go to the grocery store tonight and I’ll be buying some ice cream!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
1:10 pm

Before my cycle, I’m eating everything in sight…

Your body’s preparing itself for a baby…NOT saying your going to have one mind you..but certain hormones are released that increases appetite.

my energy level diminishes at the onsite of my “aunt flo”…

That’s because of loss of..well you know. Red blood cells contain oxygen that provides energy so when you lose them you lose energy as well…

Between the hormones fluxing in and out of control that time can definitely bring out a certain amount of cattiness in some people…some moreso than others..

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
1:11 pm

Slim – Just the thing you needed and the exact way you should have felt…lol

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
1:13 pm

Men should know when their woman’s personality has shifted (good or bad).

Yep that’s indeed a good thing…but also there are chemicals(pheromones) we give off without even know it and that can stimulate or repulse a mate depending on where a woman is in her cycle and other things..

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
1:14 pm

can stimulate or repulse a mate – the visual of repulsing a man has me near tears from laughing.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
1:16 pm

Does that make you want to somehow bottle some to keep away the trolls Leggs? :lol:

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
1:18 pm

Yes, Sassy, Yes!

cba

July 3rd, 2012
1:18 pm

My wife was bragging too much to her daughter that her “aunt flo” days were over. Then last week….knock,knock…aunt flo returned!! The first time this year!!
Side note: During the years, I’ve had two or three women that I worked with would tell me, “it’s that time of month”. To myself, I would say, “why are you telling me that”.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

July 3rd, 2012
1:23 pm

The first time this year!!

I know she must’ve been like :shock:

Leggs you ain’t right :lol: That being said, I wonder if someone’s ever thought of some type of spray, much akin to but spray, that would do that? A long time ago I remember seeing pheromone commercials advertising it so if they can do that then…

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
1:27 pm

cba – My sister is ten years older than me and going through menopause. Same thing happened to her a couple of months back. She hadn’t seen aunt flo in months and there she came aknocking

czBrat

July 3rd, 2012
1:28 pm

not much, willie. thanx for the luv :) wishing you and the fam a safe and wonderful holiday!

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
1:30 pm

Sassy – Are you answering these questions while wearing a white lab coat, hair tied in a bun and glasses? Just asking, plz don’t mess up the visual (smile)

cba

July 3rd, 2012
1:32 pm

I need to do some research on menopause because I’ve heard horror stories. I don’t want to move into the basement prematurely (lol)
I must admit so far so good, but this is a loooooooooooong process.

SlimUno

July 3rd, 2012
1:33 pm

Leggs – I didn’t even think of it that way so you do have a point. Other than being a bit quiet, I didn’t think I was acting different.

Sassy – Thanks for the lesson but how do we explain the extreme bout of h0rniness pre-flow?? lol

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
1:34 pm

@cba ~ they probably wasn’t just letting you know all willy nilly. Probably trying to explain why some things may have gone awry at the office. You know, threw a stapler at someone, or dropped a box of paperclips and left them there, etc.

Willie Dynamite

July 3rd, 2012
1:34 pm

Brat – We (my whole team) coming to your house for bbq. What time?

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
1:35 pm

Sassy – Good stuff girlie

Leggs

July 3rd, 2012
1:35 pm

“…much akin to but spray” – no doubt but spray would do the trick, probably a helluva lot better than “bug” spray. :lol: :lol: :lol:

i'm swiss

July 3rd, 2012
1:35 pm

Sassy — They’ve already made such a spray. It’s called “Sex Panther.” 60% of the time, it works every time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OThqZEMBf7M

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
1:36 pm

cba – In other words “duck” or steer clear…lol

i'm swiss

July 3rd, 2012
1:38 pm

“It smells like Bigfoot’s d_ck” :lol: :lol: :lol:

Celisea

July 3rd, 2012
1:39 pm

Translation: Run!!