accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Excuse me, do you read books?

When you are dating, you are subject to a lot of scrutiny. It’s just part of the dating game that is played out in different ways. The reality is that we are always dating a variety of people to determine how compatible they are. If you meet someone and realize they are “intellectually challenged” or dumb as a box of rocks, is it a deal breaker?

Intelligence is sexy but sometimes people try to downplay their smarts, education, and knowledge because they don’t want to come across too nerdy. (As if being nerdy is a bad thing!) Is it wise to pretend you are less smart as not to intimidate someone who isn’t?

My friend Jay was on a date with a young woman who admitted that she never read books. No e-books, books on tape, or anything. Ever. Obviously, this would be a deal breaker for some people, but I think she would find a lot of men who would be fine with her lack of reading.

How important is it for you to date someone who is your intellectual equal?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

192 comments Add your comment

Single and Happy

July 2nd, 2012
6:17 am

Hello everyone. Okay so she doesn’t read books, that doesn’t means she’s not my intellectual equal, now if she couldn’t read at all, or on a 4th grade level that’s a different story. Once again if you do one of the most important things in a relationship and lesson during the getting to know you period, you don’t have to ask these questions you can tell whether or not a person is intellectual just by listening to them.

Lily

July 2nd, 2012
7:28 am

Whether or not a person reads books? A deal beaker? Where are we going? I know plenty of men that can’t fine leisure time to read books or purchase a Kindle because they’re too busy making,money. I would ask how are we defining intellect? If you’re bright enough to get off you’re bum to make a living, raise a family have a conscious that won’t allow you to misuse and abuse others, that suffices. Having your head in a book is not indicative of your capacity for love and humanity.

Lily

July 2nd, 2012
7:38 am

This is why I believe so many things go wrong. Okay so you own a library but you lack in places of the heart what then? I really don’t understand people’s think tank. Oh well to each his smart little own.

Hello Blackfoote and Exiled!

Good day!

Exiled!

July 2nd, 2012
8:39 am

Hello Lily..so fox are taking an extended 4th of July vacay…it smells like a graveyard in here.

On topic:

Listen listen listen…u pick things that way and establish whether you like what u hear or u don’t.

What does intellectual mean? Let me get my black fo dictionary!

Exiled!

July 2nd, 2012
8:40 am

disco

July 2nd, 2012
9:05 am

good morning. I admit that I’m one of those people that is somewhat put off when I find out that someone never reads. I have friends/family members that admit they haven’t read a book since high school. I know guys that admit that they’ll read the sports page and the occasional magazine and that’s it. I know people that say reading of any type simply puts them to sleep. to each his own and all that but I’d prefer to date someone who is not necessarily “well-read” but at least “read”. I read A LOT and I’m always amazed when people come to my house, see all the books on my shelves and then seem surprised when I say that I’ve read them all.

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
9:06 am

Good morning all,

Hooked on phonic worked for me ;-)

Leggs

July 2nd, 2012
9:32 am

If you meet someone and realize they are “intellectually challenged” or dumb as a box of rocks, is it a deal breaker? Yes ma’am!

So what she doesn’t read books. A knowledge of life isn’t exclusively learned from reading.

Good morning.

czBrat

July 2nd, 2012
9:32 am

HiYas!

i’m always impressed by a man who still finds time to read. i took it as a given decades ago that reading is a pastime quite a few ladies enjoy, but dudes … not so much. i’ve never judged anyone, male or female, for not being into books.

as my brother commented a couple years ago when he helped me with a move, “you sure have a lot of books and shoes. what do you do? sit around all day in pretty shoes, reading?”. :oops:

as for dumbing down, even among fellow mensa members there’s just no reason to try to dazzle people with the stuff rattling around in my head. i keep it simple cuz i’m simple, not because i’m trying to be less threatening.

I’m always amazed when people come to my house, see all the books on my shelves and then seem surprised when I say that I’ve read them all. ^5 :lol: :lol:

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
9:33 am

Well, I saw the movie Ted yesterday and it was FUNNY. Does that mean I’m on a 3rd grade reading level??

disco

July 2nd, 2012
9:38 am

slim – I laughed re ted because a friend and I were recently just discussing our “snob” behaviors. I’ve been a tv snob because I don’t watch reality shows and a book snob because I read more non-fiction than fiction and a movie snob because I watch foreign films. thing is I’m not really a snob, I just have some snob tendencies. lol.

“sit around in pretty shoes reading” – funny.

Single and Happy

July 2nd, 2012
9:41 am

Slim, no, that means you enjoyed the movie.

Lily, if a persons can’t find LEISURE time to read a book because they’re trying to make money, How are they going to find leisure time for anything else? Where is the balance in their lives?

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
9:43 am

Good morning,

I use to be an avid reader but life and a baby and working and making a living all got in the way. I probably didn’t start learning until I put the books away. I’m cool with a man being a book reader…..or not. It certainly won’t warrant a strike against if you aren’t enrolled in the book of the month club. Umm, keeping current with Love Smoking Hot trilogy ain’t exactly impressive…

czBrat

July 2nd, 2012
9:46 am

slim, i seriously dislike comedies. they always seem like buffoonery to me.
but i am planning an outing to see ted. i may decide to go in disguise, but i’m going.

thanx for the review!

Leggs

July 2nd, 2012
9:59 am

“i may decide to go in disguise, but i’m going.” – :lol:

Saw Madea’s Witness Protection over weekend. Pretty decent.

czBrat

July 2nd, 2012
10:05 am

not a TP fan, per se, leggs, but i’ve heard that’s his best yet.

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
10:11 am

disco – So you’re telling me you rolled your eyes at me when you saw that I went to see Ted? lol

czBrat – You don’t like COMEDIES???!! WOW…I can’t say that i’ve ever heard that one. I will say TP’s movies typically have a buffoonery vibe to it.

Leggs – I saw it too but I enjoyed Ted more…you pretty much know how Tyler’s movies are going to go.

czBrat

July 2nd, 2012
10:14 am

i know, slim. that’s not to say that i don’t love a good laugh. i just think people commonly mistake acting a fool for being funny.

but i did enjoy steve harvey’s stand-up routines during commercial breaks at the family feud taping.

disco

July 2nd, 2012
10:15 am

slim – I didn’t roll my eyes at you though I was surprised to read that you went to see it. stuff like that just seems like lazy weekend when nothing else is on tv kind of movies. I’d never pay to see it in a theatre.

I enjoy a good laugh but there’s some stuff/some movies that I generally think is more stupid than funny. can’t really call that stuff comedy (in my opinion).

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
10:18 am

disco – We really went on a wim so I had low expectations for it…I guess that worked since I got some good laughs out of it. But another thing is I do watch Family Guy from time to time so if you find that super stupid, then you may not want to go see it. lol

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:21 am

I like the fact that people are able to find their genre in life and thrive. I like the fact that it differentiate us from one another. In addition, if what you’re doing gives a lift or a step up for another I can’t ever find anything wrong with it. It may not be my cup of tea but if it serves to positively impact the lives of others, I love it. I like the fact that at the end of some of his plays he tries to drop a bit of knowledge to his young audience.

With that beng said, I don’t really care for TP’s stage plays and no I don’t think his movies are Oscar worthy but the fact that they aren’t ratchet and are clean comedy and something any famly member can view, I find that refreshing. The fact that it’s an opportunity for work for so many unknowns and the forgotten goes beyond commendable. Overall though, I usually like his movies.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:25 am

Now Meet the Browns IMO is buffoonery at best, still if it’s creating a footmark that so many others have been unable to achieve then I say go for it. It may not be long lived but somewhere in history, someone will make mention of thanking TP and others for paving the way in an industry where not many blacks thrive and not many have an opportunity to do it while doing their own thing. Most blacks that are successful on the screen is usually the result of someone else driving.

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
10:30 am

Cel – I can’t get into Meet the Browns…nope, just can’t do it.

Have yall seen Cedric the Entertainers new sitcom with Niecy Nash called Soul Man?

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:32 am

Slim – I can’t either. It grates on my nerves…lol

I haven’t yet but I’m hoping the sitcome does really well. I like him.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:33 am

I like Family Guy though. I’m caracking up when I watch it. I had it on the tv when my mom was in the hospital and she (and everyone else in the room) was like WTHeck??? I was the only laughing…lol

disco

July 2nd, 2012
10:33 am

slim – I watched the first episode of soul man. well, I guess technically I watched about the first 10 minutes of it. I wasn’t feeling it.

C – I told you my mother was having a grand old time watching meet the browns during her visit. I was like “really? really? you think this is funny?” she thought it was more than funny. she thought it was hilarious.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:34 am

disco – That is hilarious…the fact that she found it funny…lol Yeah, that’s hilarious.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:39 am

I did giggle when watching the trailer for TED. I’m probably going to like it. And y’all know Mark Wahlberg is one of my Hollywood faves….with his ripped self :)

disco

July 2nd, 2012
10:40 am

C – yeah. my mom thinks it’s cute to answer the phone and say “hell-err”. I’m like “stop doing that!!!” I wish I could say she does it just to irritate me but that’s not it. she really gets a kick out of it.

last week I went to see intouchables. that’s the French film I mentioned on here. it was a biopic but was really funny. I told some folks about it but they were all like “subtitles? please.” I feel so alone. lol.

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
10:40 am

Cel – As far as Meet the Browns go, I feel like they are still acting as if they are on stage doing plays. There is a difference in plays and tv shows…in plays you typically have to exaggerate things due to having the audience there…tv, not so much. Plus some of it just isn’t funny but that’s just how I feel. Someone out there loves it since it still comes on. lol

disco – I’ve seen one episode and I’m finding Niecy and Ced’s marriage to be unbelievable. I don’t see them together as far as having that kind of chemistry

Leggs

July 2nd, 2012
10:42 am

To be honest, I can’t imagine going to see Ted, but is it really good???

I don’t like comedies like The Three Stooges, Adam Sandler type movies, Jim Carey type stuff. I remember initially not liking The Bernie Mac show because I thought it was a bunch of buffonery but grew to like it.

Anybody see Magic Mike?

DJ Sniper

July 2nd, 2012
10:43 am

In our marriage, my wife is the avid reader. Me, I keep up with current events and what not, but I don’t really get into a whole lot of books. It works for us though.

I also saw Ted last night and my sides still hurt from laughing. Enjoyed it very much!

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:43 am

disco – my mom thinks it’s cute to answer the phone and say “hell-err”. I’m like “stop doing that!!!”

You’re kiddng right?? That is a riot…lol I say let moms do her thang.

Slim – Someone out there loves it since it still comes on.

LOL…yeah disco’s is keeping the series on the air…lol You’re right though. Somebody somewhere likes it apparently.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:47 am

disco’s mom

I hate certain comedies too, namely The Three Stooges especially..ugh! I will watch an Adam Sandler movie only if a fave of mine is costarring with him. Otherwise Adam and his comedy? Not so much. I absolutely have nothing for Jim Carrey and I’m tossing Robin Williams in there too. Some of the stuff they do is crackpotish behavior.

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
10:48 am

Cel – It was sort of refreshing to see Mark Walhberg take a break from the action movies he usually does.

[...] on blogs.ajc.com This entry was posted in Uncategorized by All3Daters. Bookmark the [...]

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:50 am

Slim – Part of why I want to see the movie. I want to see what else he can do besides look fine and beat folks up.

disco

July 2nd, 2012
10:53 am

well since we are outing the comedy we don’t like I’m not a fan of owen Wilson, luke Wilson, jack black, ben stiller. there’s a few others I can’t think of them right now because I avoid their movies like they are infested with something.

SlimUno

July 2nd, 2012
10:53 am

Cel – I think it’s part of his contract to kick at least one person’s ass in a movie :lol:

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:55 am

Slim – He should get a bonus because he does it so well :) :) :)

disco – All of the names you listed are just plain retarded. I will say though I watched bits and pieces of Night at the Museum and I found myself laughing.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
10:56 am

Where are twink and tonk (ITL and Blackfoote), my other zingers??

Read here

July 2nd, 2012
11:23 am

Remember back in college when you were beginning to interview…they said an interviewer will take someone who is 3.0 with lots of extra curricular activites/interships over the person who is 4.0 and does nothing else! Same concept here. Some people don’t like to read, ub tif you are up on world events, I’m ok.

Leggs

July 2nd, 2012
11:35 am

Owen Wilson talks funny, but I like him.

I do like Robin Williams. Loved, loved Mork & Mindy.

Leggs

July 2nd, 2012
11:36 am

“ub tif you are up on world events, I’m ok.” – starting out, I thought it was going to end with “but if you can read this you’re fine with me”

disco

July 2nd, 2012
11:38 am

read here – some people don’t like to read. heck, I don’t like to pay bills but that doesn’t stop me from paying them. some kids go through phases where they don’t like to take baths. hope that doesn’t keep mommy/daddy from making them get their little funky behinds in the tub. you see where I’m going with this right? lol.

disco

July 2nd, 2012
11:42 am

quick O/T – I started something last week with bra straps. how come bra strap chick has on a low cut shirt and the entire top half of her bra cup is showing!!! this chick is straight tacky.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
11:43 am

ub tif you are up on world events, I’m ok.

I took this to translate into “iffin you are up on world events, I’m okay” I’m hope I’m not slammed or attacked for this…lol

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
11:47 am

I could be alone here but I also like the animation movies. The last I saw was Cars 2. I’m looking to enjoy the new ride when I’m in Disney a couple of weeks from now :)

czBrat

July 2nd, 2012
11:48 am

and on the subject of kids and reading … my son decided to clean his room this weekend. i found all the harry potter books he’s had since he was in grade school in a box of things to be donated. apparently, he’s ready to part with them.

i recalled being at stores at midnight to get those new releases for him because he was such a fan of the series. kinda sad to know he’s over it. i think i’ll go home, dig them out of the donation box, and add them to my book shelves. just for old time’s sake.

just cuz the kid is now a union member and contributing to a 401k, seems he’s forgotten how to cherish his mama’s good intentions. :lol:

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

July 2nd, 2012
11:48 am

I’m hoping I’m not slammed. See tryna crack and made a boo boo myself…lol