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Dating: Faking it?

One of the many challenges of a new relationship is figuring out the other person’s quirks. You can only put your best foot forward so long before you have to let it all hang out. This can be a great thing, though! Well, until you start to wonder what was real and what was fake.

You know I always say that you meet the person’s “dating representative” in the first couple of weeks of dating them. The dating rep is supposed to reel you in, but what happens when the rep leaves?

A friend of mine is trying to determine how much was real and how much is fake in his new woman. Specifically, he is wondering if she was faking the Big O – early in the relationship, or is she faking it now. Apparently, there are stark differences and he doesn’t know what to make of it.

Would you want to know if someone was faking it in bed? Do you think you would come out and ask if they were?

When it comes to sex and dating, where does the real vs. fake come into play before you know the real person? How do you know when someone is being authentic or fake with you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta.

P.S. I am officially spinsterlicious!! It’s my birthday! Thanks for all the wonderful birthday wishes, you guys are the best!

552 comments Add your comment

Blackfoote: I'm The Zinger With A Dinger

June 28th, 2012
10:50 am

I’m amused how women after handling business 30 to 45 minutes can get up and go on like it was nothing. Men like myself have to rest and recover who expends the most energy? It’s been said that two people making love, having sex, or just plain fking can use as much energy as a small electric appliance.

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:51 am

LOL@Leggs. I dated a guy once and I would refer to him as Papi…. it was a joke between the two of us, but it was kinda fun.

Lawd have mercy it’s hot in here.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:52 am

Blackfoote – LOLOLOL (I burst out laughing for real). Please tell me you’re referring to the small toaster on the counter. Not the washing machine AND dryer….lol

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:53 am

Get up and go (make sure you stop by the sink/tub though), yes yes yes

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:53 am

Ooooh, on the washing machine while it’s running….. that spin cycle is SERIOUS! :lol: :lol:

Okay, I have to go to a meeting. Back after lunch.

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
10:54 am

“ya’ll are talking about something I haven’t had in a while! Making me get the itch to go find a man just for the weekend! LOL!!!” – Naw girl, that’s just you telling your mind you HAVE TO HAVE IT NOW (lol).

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to use mind over matter! :wink:

Celisea ~ this topic and no barbs from them is cause to send out an APB…Let’s wait until 11:30. Most morning meetings are over around 11:00-11:30.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:54 am

Okay…off topic for a sec

Why did someone in customer service send a blast email INTERNALLY stating their team will be closed for the holiday??? Don’t we all work for the same company? Won’t we be off as well??

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:55 am

Okay Leggs – 11:30 and we’re calling for help.

I gotta couple of meetings as well. I’ll stop talking so others can get theirs in :)

Blackfoote: I'm The Zinger With A Dinger

June 28th, 2012
10:56 am

LOL……Cely it’s somewhere in between.

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
10:56 am

We’re having our own 50 Shades of Grey Thursday lol

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:56 am

Blackfoote – Using that much energy is teetering on dangerous…lol

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
11:00 am

“Men like myself have to rest and recover who expends the most energy?” – Don’t get it twisted, BF, women go just as hard and expend the same, if not more, amount of energy. Our brains just snap back a little quicker than yours (lololol).

Randyt (fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
11:02 am

@ c re the office memo. some times people are just plain dumb. I was working for a project for Gwinnett County several years back when the email system went down for about two hours. When it finally came back up, there was an email from the IT department saying that the email system was down. Ya reckon. How dumb was that?

DreamsMaterialize

June 28th, 2012
11:03 am

I’d much rather be talking about food, shopping and imposters.
disco none of which are even close to being good substitutes. lol What you waiting on?

babyBluz I gotta say, I don’t care too much for the pool or jacuzzi. The water washes away the natural lubricants…not as smooth.

This morning you ladies are off the chains…and the chandaliers, and the countertops, and the…lol

disco

June 28th, 2012
11:06 am

randy – I phoned Verizon once with a customer service issue. I kept doing the “let me speak to your supervisor” thing. finally got to some person that told me that I couldn’t speak to the next higher up because that person didn’t have a phone. you know I went straight off. how the heck you going to tell me a person at the phone company doesn’t have a phone. puh-leeze. don’t know if that fell under the stupid category but they must have felt I was stupid if they thought I was buying that.

dreams – what am I waiting on? for wise diva to drop the name of the spot where all of the fellas that make you want to rip their clothes off the second you lay eyes on them hang out at.

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
11:07 am

Dreams – You are right with the water lovin…it may start out as a slippery slope but then not so much.

Yall are making me wish I had quick access to my Thunder….or at least a pocket rocket, dayum!

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:08 am

Randyt – Sometimes all I can do is SMH

Dreams – I don’t care for pool activity either. My only encounter with the pool was eons ago with kid’s dad. We climbed over the fence about 1 a.m., in a really upscale neighborhood (condos of course) and skinny dipped. That was a high for him but I was scared…scared of drowning, scared of getting locked up, scared of being read about on the news…lol Even though I relaxed enough to strip down and get in, it was nothing but a lot of friction.

Bluzgirl

June 28th, 2012
11:10 am

The pool was fun for a little while…especially because it was at my apartment pool really late at night. The danger of being caught. But…when I couldn’t move for three days, I didn’t want to try that again!

abc

June 28th, 2012
11:15 am

I personally don’t care whether a chick fakes it or not. I have on occasion pointed out that it’s pointless to try and fake it, because I’m going after mine regardless — it isn’t my responsibility that they get theirs, it’s their own, they have to be going for theirs too.

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
11:17 am

“it isn’t my responsibility that they get theirs, it’s their own, they have to be going for theirs too” – Don’t hear many men saying this.

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
11:21 am

abc – I thought it was a joint effort type sport/activity????

Blackfoote: I'm The Zinger With A Dinger

June 28th, 2012
11:22 am

Cely that is a lot of postive flow energy, think about if enough of us get together we could put the power co’s out business………LOL

Leggs you’re right about my brain, it doesn’t snap back like it’s suppose to because of this chick named Mary Jane………LOL

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:23 am

Blackfoote – That’s what I’m afraid of…lol

disco

June 28th, 2012
11:25 am

leggs – I hear it quite a bit. guess it’s the company I keep. each man/woman for his/herself. Christina Aguilera has a song called “get mine, get yours”.

Bluzgirl

June 28th, 2012
11:25 am

O/T – I finally got a text back from Dr. Brit. I think I’m done fooling with him. His text said “Hi. So sorry not been in touch. Been pretty crazy at work and juggling things. Also, was worried I was being too flirty, etc. Hope all is well.” WTF?!?! If you like me, why are you worred about being too flirty? Maybe he really doesn’t like me that way and this is his way of telling me. I’m thinking…what’s the point in even responding?

Randyt (fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
11:28 am

i did a few things last summer in my pool that i was afraid would end up on YouTube. Hey, she started it. Amazing what a couple can do with some creative adjustment of pool floats ;-)

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
11:29 am

Uh ohhhhh and so it begins….

Blackfoote: I'm The Zinger With A Dinger

June 28th, 2012
11:29 am

Bluz don’t give up hope, things can change for the better in a heart beat.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:32 am

Bluzgirl – Slow your roll. You say repeatedly that you’re just being casual about dating overall but your responses and reactions says otherwise. Wait before you text him back…first of all, just respond like “oh hey what’s up…super busy on my end as well” I’m mean I’m not trying to put words in your mouth but I’m just saying. I wouldn’t touch the flirty comment. How do you know he’s not poking around?? Keep it light on and the surface. Let him bring it to you if he wants something more. That way you know and not constantly wondering or second guessing. You gotta allow some incentive there. If he wants to see you and see you bad enough, he’ll do it but you have to play your side of things correctly.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:35 am

And we all know ain’t nobody so busy they can’t text or call. Trust me on that one. Folks do what they want to do. I would amost ignore him. I would respond say a few days from now…that’s if you’re interested and want to see where things can go. If not, don’t sweat, leave him out there.

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
11:36 am

Cel – You said everything I was thinking but I was feeling exhausted before I even began to type it out to her. Thanks for taking care of my light weight LOL ;-)

DreamsMaterialize

June 28th, 2012
11:36 am

where all of the fellas that make you want to rip their clothes off the second you lay eyes on them hang out at.
disco hold on I think I still got one of my old Hulk Hogan break away t-shirts around here somewhere. “What ya gonn dooooo when the Hulkster runs WIIIIIILD on YOUUUUU!” Also it’s Wise’s birthday. You should find out where she’s kickin it.

Yall are making me wish I had quick access to my Thunder….
slimmy I got a OKC jersey. Will that do? haha

it was nothing but a lot of friction.
Cely Cel Yeah not good friction either. Just feels awkward. The beach is another one of those that’s WAY overrated…sand all in ya a$$. lol

I didn’t want to try that again!
babyBluz Naw there’s lots of other enjoyable ways to get it in.

Randyt (fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
11:37 am

@ Celisea and Bluz…from the male perspective, Celisea’s advice is absolutely correct. Demonstrate ‘casual interest’ but don’t chase, and don’t let him “see you sweat”. If he is interested he will make the move, if not, then there is no shortage of ’shopping areas’ in the ATL. Men don’t generally take women seriously if thye perceive the ladies are needy. Not good but is what it is.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:38 am

And no, playing games ain’t the answer but bumrushing ain’t either…lol My point is go along but not succumb to the long drawn out cat and mouse. That’s why I said I would respond a few days from now with a I’m well how are you things busy on my end. I wouldn’t touch the other. If he wants to take at that point it’s on him.

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
11:38 am

BF ~ you have me rolling with Mary Jane. Too funny.

disco ~ when topic comes up, many men state how they work for her to get hers then he gets his (but it’s still a joint effort like SlimUno says).

disco

June 28th, 2012
11:39 am

i was just thinking celisea saved slim from having to say a mouthful. lol.

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
11:39 am

I’m with Celisea, Bluz. Slow your roll…he’s attempting to let you go your way without much fanfare…K.I.M.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:40 am

Slim – No probs…lol I normally try to respond with kid gloves or not at all. Sometimes several folks are talking and that will make folks get defensive or back up or feel you’re pounding on them.

Randyt (fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
11:40 am

i don’t think a pool is a good place to consummate a ‘hit’, but is a good place to start one with a mad dash, buck nekkid, up the stairs.

The one I hated was the waterbed thing back in the last century. I never could get the rhythm right on those dayum things.

disco

June 28th, 2012
11:41 am

bluz – or you could ignore all that “pull back, be patient” advice and go for the jugular. ask dude straight up, what’s up. chances are he’ll bail but you’ll save us all some time. lol.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:41 am

Wayment (wait a minute), I meant I normally try to respond to Bluz with kid gloves…

Hey Bluz, love you still :)

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
11:45 am

Celisea ~ I took you meant respond to Bluz with kid gloves…too funny you felt you need to clarify.

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
11:46 am

disco ~ why even bother to go for the jugular and ask “what’s up” when it’s been written in the snow with his piss???

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:47 am

Leggs – Bluz seems like sometimes she thinks folks are beating up on her. If you put it out there and you want folks to be honest (or at least that’s why I think you’re putting it out there), then you gotta be able to handle the responses.

Randyt (fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
11:47 am

dayum Leggs…don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel ;-)

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:47 am

I thought I was brutal…lol I’m at least still holding out hope. Seriously he sounds like he might be a keeper.

Bluzgirl

June 28th, 2012
11:48 am

Thanks Cel…I like him and saw some potential in the future, but I’m not about to chase him down. I think I’m just thrown off with the “flirty” comment. I kind of thought we were trying to get to know each other and yes…we both have been flirty. I showed the text to one of my guy friends and he said he had no idea about that one! I’m not going to respond for a couple of days, if I respond at all. I agree that no one is too busy to text or call if they are interested. If he’s not interested, then oh well. NEXT!

Slim…so sorry that I exhaust you. I thought we could come on here and tell stories and ask for advice…

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
11:49 am

Dreams – an OKC jersey doesn’t have anything on my Thunder from down under :oops: Well, on second thought that jersey may come in handy as the clean up rag :lol:

Blackfoote: I'm The Zinger With A Dinger

June 28th, 2012
11:51 am

Randyt waterbeds are good for sleeping, no good for sexing at least the one my friend had. When her kids went out of town or did sleep overs we were reduced to using her son’s bedroom which was a lot better for entertainment purposes.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
11:51 am

Bluzy – Don’t sweat it. Girl, I might would have to ask for forgiveness cause (if I was your age…not mine), I would play it back the same way. All casual and late and stuff. I would give him one drop on the flirty thing….neither though would I flirt (any longer…if you’ve been doing it). If he wants to take to the nasty or get a littl fresh, ig him. Don’t let this be just about that. Nuh uh, you wanna talk nasty and get fresh, then you need to be getting on a plane. Otherwise, take that up with the person I know you’re seeing while across the way.