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Dating: Faking it?

One of the many challenges of a new relationship is figuring out the other person’s quirks. You can only put your best foot forward so long before you have to let it all hang out. This can be a great thing, though! Well, until you start to wonder what was real and what was fake.

You know I always say that you meet the person’s “dating representative” in the first couple of weeks of dating them. The dating rep is supposed to reel you in, but what happens when the rep leaves?

A friend of mine is trying to determine how much was real and how much is fake in his new woman. Specifically, he is wondering if she was faking the Big O – early in the relationship, or is she faking it now. Apparently, there are stark differences and he doesn’t know what to make of it.

Would you want to know if someone was faking it in bed? Do you think you would come out and ask if they were?

When it comes to sex and dating, where does the real vs. fake come into play before you know the real person? How do you know when someone is being authentic or fake with you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta.

P.S. I am officially spinsterlicious!! It’s my birthday! Thanks for all the wonderful birthday wishes, you guys are the best!

552 comments Add your comment

DreamsMaterialize

June 28th, 2012
6:12 am

Happy bday Wisey. What are we doing for your bday this weekend? I have a double shot of Don Julio with your name on it. Lol

Lily

June 28th, 2012
6:43 am

Ahem, having to pose the question could be your intuition ringing in on something that maybe you aren’t able to put your finger on. It is my impression that when a person is authentic you aren’t left to ponder.

Duty calls!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 28th, 2012
7:25 am

Hillarius day yesterday, I would never want her to be a fake in anything with me. Whether it’s live (hitting the spot) or memorex (fake and she knows it) I want her to pleased before she walks out my doorway. I’m not the dude that say I gotta get mine and if you don’t sorry I’m into pleasure for both of us. Then sometimes you have to realize and accept you can’t please everybody.

Good Morning:

Hey Lily:

Exiled!

June 28th, 2012
7:42 am

The rep always moves away and you get to see the real in time.

As for sex,when a guy hits it to the rafters you can always tell. Ofcourse if us dudes don’t wanna hit it all the time and neither dies it feel the same.

But when you Ace it lotta times there is no way she gon fake it it. U know it.

Is your dude friend sure footed or rather nimble on the waist?

Morning MIA!
off topic:
I am really tuned in to this health care ruling thing today.
Feel like yanking Clarence Thoms necklace right bout now….wife is Ugly like a sand dune..such ugly twins! :lol:

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
7:45 am

Good comment BF.my feelings too.

This is an interesting topic and I think is time for possibly TMI. There is a reason why that scene in “When Harry Met Sally” is legendary in movie history (and a sad goodbye to Nora Ephron too, best chic flic maker/master of all time). That reason is that men who tell you they always know might lie about other things too. Shall i repeat that…”men who tell you they always know might lie about other things too”.

In straight intercourse, a man can always tell you when HE makes it, but not the other way around. Now with tongue and fingertips, it is easier because a man (who is attentive) can often feel the spasms/contractions of a woman’s “O”. The sounds and the movement help tell when a woman is getting there, but don’t tell for sure. To be on the safe side though, I tend to keep on going after the spasms until the sensitivity hits and the woman signals it is time to ease off (although often, just for the hellz of it, I’ll stop for an instant, then start back up to go for number two or a for sure number one, LOL). Again, I was fortunate to have a patient and knowledgeable teacher many years ago that has helped educate me more than a lot of guys.

Bottom line is that if a man is going solely on the moans and sounds, he is BSing you to say he “knows”.

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
7:46 am

TMI definitely, but I’m tired of the braggadocio. Men have been known to BS a woman…hard to believe I know.

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
7:55 am

Regarding the question…i want to know, good or bad. Without that honest feedback, how cana man fine tune his performance?

Now i might fake it, to keep from hurting a lady’s feelings ;-) . Sometimes a guy can be just as tired and distracted by the day’s events as a woman, LOL.

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
8:02 am

Good morning, all (and a special hello and hug to my big bro and fellow Zinger, BF)!

Randy, I find your honesty SO refreshing.

On topic, if he’s that bothered by his perception he should ask her. I wouldn’t recommend he just ask her out right if she’s faking, but next time she has the “standing O” rather than just polite applause, he should ask her, “Hey, baby… I love making you feel that way. Tell me what it is that you like so much so I can do it more often.” As a woman, I LOVE for a man to ask me what (more) he can do to please me.

And BTW, I hope this guy knows that not every O is a panty buster. Sometimes, you ride the gentle wave and sometimes it’s like a tsunami crashing over you. It is what it is…

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
8:13 am

Hi ITL, okay I’ll step up here…what CAN we do to make it better for you? ;-)

“Enquiring Minds Want to Know” LOL

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
8:14 am

(I know, paint your house, mow your grass, the normal stuff, LOL)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 28th, 2012
8:14 am

Randyt:

@7:46 Ditto I haven’t learned and never will why a man have to beat his chest to signal how great he is in bed or anywhere else. Reality checks and balance us and I don’t care how strong the guy think he is physics has a way of showing him who’s the boss. Imagine that.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 28th, 2012
8:18 am

Morning Light: All I saw this morning when I stepped Into The Light was you.

How’s my coconut snowball/vanilla zinger doing this fine morning?

Lily

June 28th, 2012
8:26 am

Good morning Blackfoote!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 28th, 2012
8:29 am

Light @8:02
“As a woman, I LOVE for a man to ask me what (more) he can do to please me”

After reading that steam streamed out of my keyboard……..LOL

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
8:30 am

@Randy: I’d say the answer to that varies from woman to woman – not all of us like the same thing(s). :)

Heeeey, BF. I am fine as can be this morning. I had a great time yesterday, and hoping for another fun day.

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
8:31 am

“why a man have to beat his chest to signal how great he is in bed”

If a man has to convince a woman that she had the big “O”, then I’m going out on a limb here and suggesting that she probably didn’t ;-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 28th, 2012
8:32 am

Lily why don’t you come and play with us one day.

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
8:33 am

@ ITL, so you are saying that painting your house and mowing your grass might not work for all women?

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
8:34 am

sidebar to ITL…actually just between you and me, you are so right about different women wanting different things…sssooooo right.

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
8:37 am

Randy: Actually for me, it wouldn’t because I already have siding and a landscaper. :) Now, if you wanted to wash my car (or my poor tired feet and throw in a foot massage) then that will get you BIG brownie points.

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
8:40 am

And, just for shiggles, I’ll point out that what I want is not the same everyday. Sometimes it’s hearts and flowers and candlelight and sometimes it’s wild monkey love wherever the mood strikes us. ;)

TMI??? :oops:

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
8:40 am

ITL, I am so aware of the power of a glass of wine, and a foot massage. It is one of those things that i wish I had learned much earlier but have done my best over the years to make up for lost time when I was still ignorant. ;-)

Lily

June 28th, 2012
8:40 am

Blackfoote, work does not permit. My free time if any are the morning hours. That’s why I’m here early. By the time I’m off, things have quieted down. Most of the time I read afterwards.

Randyt (aka fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
8:42 am

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
8:46 am

(ITL now thinking about sitting by the pool, cool drink in hand, enjoying a foot massage) *sigh*

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 28th, 2012
9:03 am

LOL……@Light 8:40

Randyt foot massages aw man most women friends I know say they would do anything for a man when he massage those feet.

Lily gotcha my dear would be great to read more about you.

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
9:09 am

Happy Birthday, WDiva!

Ummm, all O’s aren’t on the same level. Some are more intense than others. The body quivers differently, the panting isn’t always the same, the eyes rolling in the back of one’s head doesn’t always occur. If she’s reaching an O, the sheets are wet. If she’s not, she recovers with the quickness.

Good morning.

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:17 am

Morning, Leggs! :) I’m glad to see another woman confirm my 8:02 re: gentle waves vs. tsunamis.

Do you think most men know this already?!?!?

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
9:21 am

ITL – Morning chica…guess what? I left work yesterday and stopped by Wally world and as soon as I walk in the door I cross paths with yet ANOTHER of my exes friends. Am i in the twilight zone or something? ( and this was totally on a different side of town) :???:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 28th, 2012
9:25 am

Leggs:
Did you have to go aand mention wet sheets whoa nelly only grown women know about that. There’s nothing like a grown sensual woman. Hold on a minute it’s getting too hot in here, hell it’s already going up to 100 degrees today. With all this heat (coming from you and Light) where can I go to go cool off.

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:28 am

Good morning lovelies,

Faking it? Who does that? Nuh uh, I want my to be for real. Shoot, I’m salty if I can’t get mine. Okay not ALL the time (I’m salty) but I’m going to be if it happens too often. I’m okay letting you have it EEEEEEVERY now and again but um, I don’t like anybody enough to pretend it’s all gravy when it’s not.

Hey there my two other zingers…ITL and Blackfoote!! :)

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
9:28 am

I feel like we’re having O’s 101

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:29 am

mine not my…dang too early for this

My tummy aches this morning. I ate a pound of cherries last night :cry:

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:30 am

Dang, Slim! Was Rod Serling the door greeter?!?! LOL :lol: Soooo, countdown to a text from the ex in 5, 4, 3, 2, …..

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:32 am

Lord, folks around here having babies like nothing. All this baby talk around the water cooler, in passing, in the kitchen, in the offices, in the restroom is killing me…

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:37 am

Morning, C! Poor zinger…sorry your tunkin hurts. :(

disco

June 28th, 2012
9:37 am

good morning. I was attempting to stand by and not chime in on this topic but I figure with a topic like this it might be awhile before anyone changes it. lol. guess I have to ask the question – when was the last time someone here had to lay a towel down to cover the wet spot?

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
9:38 am

@BF ~ come over here, I have a fan for you!

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:39 am

ITL – Next time, one cup of cherries…not a pound…lol They were sooo sweet and delish. Overindulgence is never good…lol
Thanks twinkie :)

Why am I hearing in my head “alllll my exes live in Texas”

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:40 am

disco – You may as well chime in :) This won’t probably won’t change for a couple of hours…lol

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:41 am

one one one one…

roberta higginbotham

June 28th, 2012
9:45 am

I think what happens AFTER the woman’s first big “O” can help a guy determine if it was real or not. Here’s what I mean. I’m usually pretty quiet until my first orgasm (which in and of itself is a pretty loud event). Believe me, in our bed, things do not end after that. He’s still got a long way to go, and this is when he really gets down to business. After my first orgasm, virtually every thrust elicits some sort of sound (and no, I can’t help it). All this leads up to my second big “O”. Again, another loud event. I couldn’t possibly fake the the kinds of involuntary sounds I make between the first and the second, so he pretty much knows it’s been real.

Bottom line is this. After 45 minutes of doing the horizontal mamba, if a woman still hasn’t climaxed at least once, I think a serious heart-to-heart has to happen.

disco

June 28th, 2012
9:45 am

C – I’m not sure what kind of mood I’m in. do I want to tell dude that it doesn’t matter if she’s faking because if she is, it’s her loss or do I want to tell dude to man up, handle business and remove fake as an option. I’ve got to pick a team before I can chime in. do I fake? nope. will I hand out a “freebie” every now and again? sure, but dude knows when he’s getting a freebie he’s got a limited amount of time to handle up before I close up shop.

SlimUno

June 28th, 2012
9:47 am

ITL – I feel like Rod’s been following me lol

Cel – I feel like how you do. I have a best friend that is going to pop in July, a coworker that just had her baby last week, another coworker that is just starting to show, and my sister who has been dreaming about fish. Maybe it’s the Year of the Seed or something :shock:

Slim now singing the remake of “Cashing Out”….Gotta biological clock on my wrist and i’m cashing out! lol

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:49 am

disco – I believe you nailed it…lol

do I fake? nope. will I hand out a “freebie” every now and again? sure, but dude knows when he’s getting a freebie he’s got a limited amount of time to handle up before I close up shop.

Yes, it’s THAT serious :)

Celisea....ITL and Blackfoote...the zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
9:52 am

Slim – Girl, it’s babies babies everywhere. Got sixtysomething year old folks recalling labor and delivery…lol Don’t get me wrong, I LOOOOOVE babies, but all this talk is driving me bananas! Lord help us after the babies are born and pics are brought in…no wait…emailed around the office…lol

Yes, dreaming about fish means a baby is coming.

Leggs

June 28th, 2012
10:03 am

“I couldn’t possibly fake the the kinds of involuntary sounds I make…”

Thank you Roberta. That’s what I was trying to say…”involuntary” You have no control over the jerks, the twitch of your mouth forming a smile, the many “oh boy,” or “whews” you utter. Sometimes you just have to sit on the side of the bed with your head hung down to regain some composure before walking into the bathroom with wobbly legs.

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:03 am

Glad I’m not the only one in BabyPalooza. My new godson arrived in April, followed by a friend’s twins and another’s baby boy in May. Oh, and a co-worker had a baby boy in May and another is due in a month. Babies, babies, babies…. Kinda makes me want a little bun in the oven. :)

Randyt (fake it til you make it)

June 28th, 2012
10:04 am

Dreaming about fish is just weird…unless one is a fisherman I suppose. Women, yes, my jobs, too often, but fish, never.

Into the Light....Celisea and Blackfoote - the Zinger triplets

June 28th, 2012
10:05 am

Sometimes you just have to sit on the side of the bed with your head hung down to regain some composure before walking into the bathroom with wobbly legs.

I love those times.

Him: You okay, baby?
Me (between pants): Mmm-hmmm
Him: You sure?
Me (finally able to speak): Yep…just need a minute. :)