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Are prenups making us pro-marriage?

I have heard from many male friends that the idea of marriage could be more appealing to them if the risks were minimized. Apparently, things such as child support, alimony, and asset protection are valid concerns men have about picking the wrong mate.

It seems that prenuptial agreements are more commonplace than ever. Not only the wealthy utilize prenups, anyone who wants to protect their worth and their future earning potential can take steps to do so.

All this makes me wonder if more ways to “reduce the risks” involved with marrying, shouldn’t we more open to jumping the broom?

Do you think that prenups are helping us to become more pro marriage?

Is it a worthwhile effort to reduce risks associated with marrying the wrong person?

Why do you think so many people take that leap of faith and decide to ignore the divorce rates, infidelity statistics, etc.?

Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog.

186 comments Add your comment

Lily

June 20th, 2012
5:36 am

Without considering the question, I’m still wondering where those people are with enough money/assets to even consider a prenup?? Wouldn’t you at least need more than a couple of nickels? I can’t really answer because I have yet to meet someone threatened as a resultof divorce. I’ve seen a few well put together hard working people but not on the scale of losing say “half.” Maybe that’s just in your circle Diva.

Lily

June 20th, 2012
5:37 am

Did I beat Exiled? :)

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
6:13 am

Prenups don’t make people pro marriage. They just make already marriage minded people pro prenup. I’d surely sign a prenup. Seems the ones usually against this are the ones with nothing to lose (and everything to gain). I’m not balling out of control, but I did bust my a$$ for what I do have.

Jeff

June 20th, 2012
7:00 am

I think it’s a natural reaction to look for a little protection when the odds of you getting screwed over are pretty high. The real question that should be asked is why we allow such an imbalance in the process to begin with.

Tiff

June 20th, 2012
7:04 am

I’m so in Love with my dude that I don’tt care about signing a pre-nup. Granted he has much more than I do….. but I’m good I got my own.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
7:09 am

If you’re already thinking prenup because this might not work out, why are you getting married?? And yes I know marriages do fail, but why would you start anything thinking you’re going to fail? Protecting what you already have shouldn’t be a problem, just keep it separate. Everything after your married was earned for the family. And anyone who doesn’t want to support their children shouldn’t have them!!

Lily

June 20th, 2012
7:30 am

Prenups simply means you’re taking on someone you don’t fully trust with your assets. Why would you consider marriage in an already what’s mine is mine mentality? No having a preup does not make one promarriage, at least not how I see it.

Lily

June 20th, 2012
7:33 am

Good morning Leggs! I’ll be long gone by the time you get in. I’ll have to check y’all later once I’m done working.

Good day!

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
7:34 am

Everything I had before we got married, is mine, and what you had is yours, after that is ours.

Lily

June 20th, 2012
7:38 am

I’m not doubting that nor confused, I just don’t understand the fear if you’re going into a union under trust and love.

Liz

June 20th, 2012
7:51 am

Prenup? No marriage.

Jeff

June 20th, 2012
7:52 am

Lily, one of the first comments when a relationship starts to go sour is “you’ve changed”. People change all the time. Maybe we should start being more critical of women who become vindictive and consider it their life’s mission to ruin the man’s life from that point forward. Maybe we should be more critical of attorneys who actually advise women to make false accusations of abuse to gain a legal advantage in a divorce.

A man should be smart enough to protect himself financially even if the only reason is so he has the means to be an active and involved father if the relationship deosn’t work out.

After all, don’t we all want fathers to be more active in the lives of their children even in divorce? Taking away every penny they have doesn’t help them do that.

Lily

June 20th, 2012
7:53 am

@Exiled, I believe you nailed it with your post!

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
7:59 am

If there is no trust, then you shouldn’t get married, but these days with children before marriage, there is more to think about than going for broke. 2 people young just starting out, don’t need a prenup, older established, it is something to think about.

Lily

June 20th, 2012
8:00 am

@Jeff, is that not what love and taking risks all about? I don’t condone any man or woman becoming vindictive or spiteful or vengeful or a liar. But in this thing we take on and chance called love, that’s the risk. There’s always that possibility that things will go sour. Does it make it right? Not at all. Should you become mean and spiteful and jaded as a result? Never.

Better Future

June 20th, 2012
8:00 am

Married for love. After marriage and new home, without any discussion at all, she quit her job and refused to work. Jobless and unable to control her spending, our marriage spiraled downward. When the divorce came, this all worked in her favor garnering her more alimony and assets that she never worked to obtain. Why? Because in the eyes of he courts she didn’t work and needed help to retain a lifestyle she never contributed to. Prenuptial? Do it!

Lily

June 20th, 2012
8:08 am

I sincerely hope for any person badly burned by someone you ultimately trusted, you can find the healing you so desperately need.

Gotta run!!

Big Al

June 20th, 2012
8:08 am

Prenups are like insurance. They protect our assets in the event that the marriage doesn’t work out. Every married man should have one because women are only interested in our money.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
8:36 am

I get it what she has before I came along is hers. I won’t be worried not having marriage insurance if we don’t make together fine she still have her stuff and I mine. If we win the lottery then we get half other than that if people want it do what you have to do, nope I don’t need it. Better Future I’ve been there and beyond what you’re talking. My ex made more money she had her own accts., when we split we had a son 5 years old. I left them a house fully furnished and paid 13 years child support through payroll deduct with no complaints. You can’t go back so go forward and rebuild yourself it can be done.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
8:48 am

I didn’t mention when I moved away, I moved into an empty apt. Slept on the floor for months until I began to slowly rise up. I’m not saying it was easy just that I made it through and pushed on. I don’t do excuses and whining and if you put down the effort it becomes easy.

disco

June 20th, 2012
9:06 am

good morning. as usual when pre-nups come up I think of “If you love me you’d sign it” and “if you loved me you wouldn’t ask me to”. lol. personally, I’m all for them.

dreams – that’s what I’m talking about. I’m rich by no means. may never be rich but what I have now is mine and I plan to keep it that way.

exiled – re charity and tax deductions. it’s still charity even if you take the deduction. it’s a win win.

better future – I’ve heard that tale time and again.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
9:15 am

You don’t need a prenup. If you think there’s even a possibility that your marriage might now work, then you don’t need to get married.

You don’t need car insurance. If you think there’s ever even a possibility that you’ll get into a car accident, then you should just never drive.

Banks shouldn’t have FDIC insurance. If you think there’s ever a chance your bank might get robbed or become insolvent, then you should just never have a bank account. Put your money in the mattress.

You don’t need a warranty on a new car. If you think anything might ever go wrong with your car, then you should just never buy a car.

You don’t need protection. If you think there is even a remote possibility that you will contract a STD or get/become pregnant, then you just should never have sex.

Your kid doesn’t need a helmet. If you think they might fall learning to ride a bike, then they should just never learn to ride a bike.

There are risks in every aspect of our lives, and we protect ourselves against those risks (probably are considered responsible for doing so), but somehow doing the same when it comes to marraige is unfathomable.

button

June 20th, 2012
9:19 am

Already divorced and haven’t even married..lol, with that being said, MARRIAGE is not the problem! it’s folks marrying for all the wrong reason or marrying the wrong person. Marriage takes work! nothing easy about it, if the person is selfish, stubborn, manic or any other unhealthy attitude while dating why do some think majically that person will change after the I do’s? I said all of this to say, Pre nup is a big joke! I will never sign one. My current beau has assests and his profession has great earning longivety, and if he were to ask my hand in marriage on the conditions of me signing a prenup then I guess I’ll just say thanks but no thanks. To bad so sad! Material things come and go. Theives steal, fire burns, things blow up folks get laid off and market crashes.

Why do you think so many people take that leap of faith and decide to ignore the divorce rates, infidelity statistics, etc.? Because they are stepping on faith!

Good morning

disco

June 20th, 2012
9:20 am

dreams – tell it like it T-I-is.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
9:28 am

Theives steal, fire burns, things blow up folks get laid off and market crashes.
Button And all of these things have insurance to protect you in case they actually happen. A person who lost everything in a fire and had no homeowner’s insurance would be called a fool. If someone got hurt in an explosion at their job and didn’t receive workman’s comp, they’d be called a sucker. A person who go laid off and had absolutely no savings would be called financially irresponsible.

czBrat

June 20th, 2012
9:35 am

HiYas!

i have no prob with prenups. i have nothing against people protecting their hard earned assets.
but i don’t see how planning conditions in case of divorce could ever be considered pro-marriage.

for the most part, i’m reading real sensible convo here today.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
9:39 am

Morning,

Let me just say I LOVE MMeello’s 7:51…totally agree and Blackfoote’s posts. I guess yes, we can all define and rationale the what if’s but that’s not what love and coming together is about. It’s not about the cushion…just in case I fall. Love is not to be treated the same way an insured car, your bank accounts and anything else you provide a safety net for. It’s about going all in…the good the bad the uglies.

I could say more but I not gonna…lol

Elijah

June 20th, 2012
9:40 am

Good Morning Everybody!

Celesia I will be ready to sign the pre-nup in 2014.
Dreams is dropping conventional wisdom this morning..

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
9:40 am

Of course just my HUMBLE OPINION…. :)

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
9:42 am

Ummm, Elijah I was kinda hoping it would be you NEEDING the prenup. Sort of puts a different twist on things…lol You say 2014? Can’t wait that long. :)

button

June 20th, 2012
9:47 am

Dreams wow marriage is surly being dumb – down.

disco

June 20th, 2012
9:48 am

brat – I couldn’t imagine getting married and never even considering the “what ifs”. there are always what ifs. I wouldn’t go in comparing my marriage to others’ but I’d also have to acknowledge that countless people before me went in thinking their marriage was going to be forever and it wasn’t. heck, I’ll even go so far as to say that there are some marriage dealbreakers. some things in the marriage that I’m just not going to work through. yeah, I’ll go in with an exit strategy.

question to the divorced folks on the blog – did you go into your marriage believing it would last forever? did you never consider beforehand that it might not work out?

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
10:02 am

Why do you think so many people take that leap of faith and decide to ignore the divorce rates, infidelity statistics, etc.?

I don’t know about everyone else, but if I based every decision in life on statistics, I’d be living in fear, and that I refuse to do. I don’t do things based on what happened to other people. Truth be told, I took a survey recently and out of 10 friends, only one has not been divorced. And that’s a relatively new friend and new marriage. ALL of the rest have been divorced at least once. So it was love and faith that convinced me to marry.

As for prenups, I’ve never known anyone where that was a concern or an issue. I get wanting to keep what you worked hard for all day. But most just had debt, like mortgages and student loans. A little in savings. You can keep that. I dated a guy once that used to talk about a prenup because he had 2 small daughters he wanted to protect. I get that all day.

My pride I guess, is showing when it comes to this topic. My parents not only provided me & my siblings with a nice living, but they provided us with the tools to do it on our own. So I don’t want no dudes ish. I did just fine on my own and would continue to do so without him. I’m a hustler and a survivor. Never took much from men anyway.

czBrat

June 20th, 2012
10:04 am

disco, i married my hs sweetheart. THAT was supposed to be the fairy tale. there was ZERO consideration that we would divorce for at least the first ten years.

i move forward with eyes wide open now. there is always the hope, prayer and effort to see a marriage through to the last breath, but i’m too well aware that is not guaranteed.

i think one thing you should know about yourself and your mate before taking vows is how hard each person has proven themselves willing to work toward fixing the things that break over a long-term relationship. if you’re both ready to dig in to the trenches if that’s what it takes to win the war, then you know the prenup is more of a precaution than a plan.

disco

June 20th, 2012
10:09 am

kimmie – in general, I agree with your points made. thing is some men and women if/when it hits the fan and anger, bitterness, resentment kick in they turn that divorce into an all out I’m trying to hurt you anyway I can. they may not have been the type to want the other person’s stuff in the beginning but in the end they want it just to be spiteful.

if I’m sounding all anti-marriage, anti-love, anti-trust, anti-hard work that’s not it at all. I’m just for seeing the pros and the cons and putting those rose colored glasses away for a second. I’m for hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
10:13 am

disco in anything I do I go in with a begining and end in mind. Marriage can’t and shouldn’t be held to the same level as paying car insurance, banks failing, and protecting assets. If you been married you don’t even think of such you beleive in protecting the whole family not an indivdual. Nobody wins after a divorce and it doesnt’ matter who gets what because nothing last forever so if somebody want to feel like they won something then go ahead with a pre-nup.

Cely just what I was trying to say you said it better.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
10:17 am

Blackfoote – :)

If you been married you don’t even think of such you beleive in protecting the whole family not an indivdual.

I agree here too….that “individual” being yourself. Imma just hush though because if you go in single in heart, single in thought, single, single, single….then why do it

Too, if a person flips the script and burn you, could there have been signs there before? Just asking or wondering I should say

czBrat

June 20th, 2012
10:24 am

we can have mad, crazy love and be “all in” all day, but we are human. we are fallible.

when it comes to marriage, love is what gets the dude down on one knee and the chick sobbing like miss america. life is what teaches them the best way to sit down and handle it.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
10:24 am

Hmmm

The law says I have to have car insurance or I can’t drive

the government says that banks should be fdic insured up to a certain amount, after that you’re on your own

I will never pay for a warranty when buying a new car it comes with it if it doesn’t i’ll take my chances

Sex is a sin before marriage, and outside of marriage

I’ve never worn a helmet, my kids learned how to ride without helmets.

Protecting what you have before marriage is one thing, but being so selfish that you want to keep everything after that’s yours is totally different. I have nothing against separate accounts or credit, but you bet my wife will know all about them in case anything happens to me

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
10:25 am

I’m ever grateful moms and pops made it 54 years until he passed. Never separated no brawling and beatings, no cussing and hanging out all night. Pops was a man’s man….through and through. I’m glad that was the example set before me.

Dani

June 20th, 2012
10:26 am

Disco- I thought my marriage would last forever. I always had one deal breakser infidelity. I was always upfront about that. I was willing to put in work and was already doing that. My parents have been married for 46 years and my dad was no saint the first 15 years. I always said I would never be disrepected and devalued like that. So with a 5 year old and a 18 month old I asked him to leave. I keep the house, the kids, all the furniture, and all the martial debt. Piece of mind like Kimmie always says is priceless.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
10:27 am

My pop’s ritual every Friday (payday) was to hand his check to my mom. He never thought twice about it nor did he complain, nor did he not trust her to put it towards the household. My grandma passed before I was born but from what I hear, he was the same way towards his mom before he married.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
10:28 am

disco – I agree, having seen some of the changes my friends went thru with their divorces. One’s soon to be ex in particular has seemed to change into a totally different person. Of course, I’m only hearing one side.

I’m going on how I feel and the type of person I know I am. I’ll live out of my car first before I try taking some dudes stuff. I’m used to nice things and having all of what I need and most of what I want. I got family that’s got my back. Trying to take some guy’s material things or money is not my style of fighting. A lot of this ish a lot of dudes trip on about and dangle a prenup about is chicken ish to me, seriously. I’m so not impressed. He really can keep it.

disco

June 20th, 2012
10:29 am

BF/celisea – I get all that re the single mentality and everyone getting shafted in divorce. I’ve seen so many estate cases where someone ends up shafted (usually the children of previous marriages or relationships) because of a spiteful, vindictive spouse. as someone mentioned earlier, I’ve seen folks quit jobs and bide time just so the other party owes them a larger financial obligation in the settlement. a pre-nup can aid in preventing that kind of stuff from happening. am I all for happily ever after? you betcha. do I think every single relationship is going to be that? nope.

MissMoni

June 20th, 2012
10:29 am

GOOD Wednesday Morning All!

Would I sign a prenup? Absolutely NOT!
I’m NOT making any plans or agreements for what happens IF we get a divorce. Why, because when I get married I don’t plan on getting a divorce.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
10:31 am

Enter your comments here

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
10:35 am

disco – I’m never signing a prenup if presented because guess what, I have my own. I take care of myself (through the grace of God) and I have enough sense and conscious to know vengence don’t belong to me. So if I wanted to, I wouldn’t because of my belief.

With that being said…even so and still, I wouldn’t sign it because I’m free falling going in and I need him to be on the same page. For better or for worse IMO encompasses the bitter fallouts. When you state that you should do so unassuming. Really truly not knowing really how this thing could go or how it’s gonna end…if it ends. So if it goes awry your vows holds to you dealing with it…good bad or indifferent. Dealing with it sometimes means packing it up, picking it up and moving on. It might sound rose colored or naive…but really it’s not. Folks make committment saying words and NEVER really giving it some real deep thought. When it’s a bust theeeeen folks are confused, dazed, angry, etc.

DJ Sniper

June 20th, 2012
10:35 am

Neither me nor my wife were rolling in the dough when we married, so a prenup wasn’t ever discussed. However, I can’t blame people who do have a lot of assets and want to protect them. Call it what you want, but there are so many people out here (usually men) who get raped by the courts in a divorce, so I totally understand wanting to have one.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
10:36 am

LOL….@disco

We used to use that term when I growing up, “getting shafted”. Brought back funny memories.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
10:38 am

Protecting what you have before marriage is one thing, but being so selfish that you want to keep everything after that’s yours is totally different. I have nothing against separate accounts or credit, but you bet my wife will know all about them in case anything happens to me

Single & Happy – I love your above statement. In my world, I’ve actually seen more women get the shaft after a death than a divorce. It’s so sad. That’s a real man, one that’s taking care of the family in life and death!

disco

June 20th, 2012
10:40 am

BF – I didn’t realize I’d used shaft twice. I was just trying not to use short end of the stick again since I’ve about played that one out this week. lol.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
10:47 am

Kimmie, I’ve know women like that also, heck I’ve never known any that made out great in a divorce when you hear both sides of the story.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
10:58 am

Single – Me either. It’s just a mess all around!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
10:59 am

Take the emotion out of the prenuptial question and it comes down to is financial planning and asset protection.

If only it were that simple…

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:05 am

Hey SCool!

I got a way to make it simple:

Po marry po
Rich marry rich

See? Simple!!LOL!!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:07 am

Don’t forget…Po stay Po….

Did you get that link I sent you?

czBrat

June 20th, 2012
11:12 am

kimmie, you funny but right on the money. simple answer here is that two people who are in disagreement about the need for a prenup should not marry.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:15 am

Yes SCool I did! I am going to pull it up when I get home this evening on the big computer.

Check out Bridal Bliss today if you get a chance. The couple is from ATL and met at UGA!!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:17 am

Which show are you and hubby going to tonight?

disco

June 20th, 2012
11:18 am

SCool – po stay po? lol. I don’t know if that’s true, funny, mean or all of the above.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:21 am

SCool – Unfortunately we couldn’t get work & babysitting worked out! :(

Which are you guys going to? I will have to live vicariously thru you!LOL!!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:21 am

I’m really pleased with how our shoot turned out. I may submit ours….(lol)

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:24 am

SCool – I know it’s nice!! You should, I want to be able to see pics of folks I know on there!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:25 am

We are going to the 10p show.

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:30 am

Hey, disco! How’s life?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
11:34 am

LOL……@Kimmie

Po= no pre-nup required, uncontested divorce, child support maybe, on to the next

Rich= pre-nup discussions, scathing divorce proceedings, pre-trial custody, massive child support payments, alimony, sell and split assets,

In either scenario a man should tough it out I know not always the case, but a decent man will make sure his previous family is in tact and not lacking. When and if she finds a another like my ex did then I feel comfortable they can go on and live their life without me.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:36 am

Blackfoote – You are truly an honorable man.

Oh, and I fits in the “po” category!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
11:40 am

Thanks Kimmie,

LOL…….You can put another check by the box in the Po category for me too.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
11:46 am

The law says I have to have car insurance or I can’t drive
And why is that? It’s because people have severely inflated ideas of their own driving abilities. They could never get into an accident. Good thing the law knows better.

the government says that banks should be fdic insured up to a certain amount, after that you’re on your own
This wasn’t always the case. FDIC was instituted so that people would feel comfortable taking the risk of putting their assets somewhere other than their shoebox or under the floor boards. They had to offer people some assurance that they wouldn’t lose everything due to a market crash or unscrupulous bankers. With all the failed banks in the last three years, there are certainly lots of people pretty happy about the existence of the FDIC.

I will never pay for a warranty when buying a new car it comes with it if it doesn’t i’ll take my chances
Most new cars come with a some warranty as part of the purchase. The deciding factor for many recent Kia and Hyundai owners was the fact that they come with a 10 year warranty.

Sex is a sin before marriage, and outside of marriage
Your interpretation.

I’ve never worn a helmet, my kids learned how to ride without helmets.
So because your children were fortunate enough to avoid serious injury while learning to ride a bike, that makes helmets a bad decision? Don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I’ve been smoking 40 years, and I’m just fine.” Doesn’t make smoking a responsible life choice.

Protecting what you have before marriage is one thing
This is exactly what a prenup is meant to do.

The fact is that a prenup doesn’t differ at all from all the other areas of life where we make it a point to protect ourselves. We just attach emotional sentiment to marriage, so we rationalize that it must be different. It’s not. And it doesn’t detract from love one bit. Loving yourself while loving someone else isn’t selfish. Loving someone else isn’t even possible if you don’t love yourself.

czBrat

June 20th, 2012
11:46 am

i’ve always considered myself “po but don’t kno”. :grin:

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
11:47 am

Good morning.

Hey there, Lily. Keep up the race of beating Ex (lol). I love the competition

Haven’t read much of the topic, but pre nup or no pre nup, I think a man should be more concerned with his family being able to live comfortably w/o him taking the spiteful road and creating unnecessary havoc on the children due largely to him being hurt. Grown folk should never, EVER take their anomisity for each other out on the children whereby they’re doing more suffering that the adults ending their relationship.

Now, if it’s just the man and woman and no child involved, I could care less if you shoot each other (j/k).

Back to my boring a$$ 5-hr training session.

Hello everyone!

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
11:48 am

Sorry, same goes for the woman is she’s the one who made the man sign the prenup!!!

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
11:48 am

Hey SexyC. How are things on you end? Good to catch you on.

disco

June 20th, 2012
11:55 am

SCool – life is good. yesterday my momma complained because baskin robbins had too many flavors of ice cream. all she wanted was a “plain, regular sundae” but, of course, that’s not on the menu. lol.

dreams – re drivers. ever notice that everyone thinks they are a good driver?

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:55 am

DreamsMat…
All is well.
Today…as is usually the case when I get to hang out these days….I am avoiding work. What am I avoiding today? Reviewing 66 employee evaluations……sheesh…

Bluzgirl

June 20th, 2012
12:14 pm

I’m indifferent about a prenup. Honestly, I don’t see getting into a situation where it may even be necessary. I realize that not all marriages work out, but when I get married, I will do my best to keep it together. I think divorce is too simple of a solution. I never want to get divorced (unless I’m cheated on).

If the issue came up, I’d have to really think about it. I won’t really know how I feel about it until faced with it, I guess.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
12:18 pm

Reviewing 66 employee evaluations……
SexyC Yeah that sounds real exciting. Well you know if there’s one thing the blog is good for, it’s avoiding work. lol I think I remember you were running pretty hard last time I saw you on. Still doing that?

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
12:21 pm

I’m only running 2 or 3 days a week now. I’m finding that with the heat, I am spending more time on the elliptical in my basement. (lol)

However, we will be running the Peachtree on the 4th and I’m considering running the HBCU 5K next weekend. (Haven’t decided yet.)

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
12:33 pm

Dream in most states you don’t need a prenup to protect what you had before marriage, it only protects future earnings. and as far as the other, just a difference of opinion.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:35 pm

I forgot I accept a lunch date today at 1:00…I’m soooooo not feeling this. Just got a message asking if we’re still on. When I intially accepted…getting off the elevator it was just sort of “oh yeah, um okay”…lol I wasn’t really for real :(

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:36 pm

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:37 pm

Heeey MMeelloo! I loved your post this morning… “You truly in love go for broke” :)

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:37 pm

Okay that might be romanticizing a bit but I’m just saying…

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
12:51 pm

Well Howdy Doody folks,

Sounds like we have decent views on both sides of the spectrum. I think I would feel some kinda way if my fiance asked me for a pre-nup. It would initially make me want to question his outlook for our marriage and me. I was not raised to try to take another person for what they have and my mom is the same way. Out of the times she’s been married she has never looked back or tried to grab all she could on the way out. She has been perfectly fine with her peace of mind and whatever she had coming in. If the fiance kept pushing it, i’d have to look into what all the pre-nup included. From what I hear, not all pre-nups are there to ensure the other party is leaving without anything…Sometimes it works out for both parties without having all the emotional tug of war, hurt and anger in the end that most folks react out of. I suppose it’s sort of like making your funeral arrangements early in life, not that you are preparing to die anytime soon..but just to make it less of an issue when that time comes to deal with that reality. But I’m all in and I would hope my guy would be too.

Exiled!

June 20th, 2012
12:55 pm

King Lebron is on his way! Ok haters!! :lol:

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
1:15 pm

Exile – Hardy har har….and no to answer your question.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
1:17 pm

Did yall hear about the dad the beat a man to death that he caught molesting & raping his daughter?

http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/06/20/no-crime-in-beating-child-molester-to-death/

Willie Dynamite

June 20th, 2012
2:01 pm

Afternoon All,

I don’t know if anything would make folks more Pro Marriage nowadays. I do understand the need for some people to have a pre-nup. It really is an afterthought to me as to the why’s and why nots. Basically my opinion is for whatever side of the fence you sit on then find someone that agrees with your thought process and hopefully happily ever after will will out. If not then oh well.

disco

June 20th, 2012
2:27 pm

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
2:32 pm

Dynamic

June 20th, 2012
2:35 pm

I read a few posts and others were saying that if a spouse cheated then they would divorce. Why? I have a friend who told me that if her husband ever cheats on her she knows that she will not leave the marriage, which got me to thinking. She reasoned that if it was “just sex” that should would move past the infidelity. So with the comments of others I was thinking that your spouses aren’t able to make a stupid mistake and you work through the issue together? How may times have you have meaningless sex in and out of relationships? What if you had some medical condition early in the marriage that prohibited you from having sex? Would you expect your spouse to never have sex again or divorce you?

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
2:38 pm

Exiled – Well if you did all that, then i’m not sure you’d make it without serving any time. At least the dude called 911 to have him picked up which probably made the situation better. However, you can never speak for what your reaction would be if you saw someone taking advantage of your child. Something comes over you and you are a ball of hate/protection. That dad definitely should be commended. I wouldn’t expect any less from my Pops.

disco

June 20th, 2012
2:39 pm

leggs – thanks for showing up.

dynamic – sometimes sex is just sex and sometimes sex is more than that. maybe her hubs had a meaningless one time fling, maybe he has a meaningless one time fling with a different chick once a month and maybe her hubs has a girlfriend (maybe even kids) across town. if she’s willing to work through infidelity that’s on her. she won’t be the first and she won’t be the last.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

June 20th, 2012
2:41 pm

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
2:42 pm

Sort of on topic, I wonder why Halle Berry now has to pay her babies daddy $20k a month in child support and they were never even married. :shock:

MervTheTerrible

June 20th, 2012
2:44 pm

I agree with prenups 100% shoot when you own your own house two cars (used) and will probably be one of the few of my generation to retire on time maybe early, yes, prenup please. I am not rich but I built my own future, in my opinion a woman refusing to sign a prenup, is she has a backup plan if the marriage fails. I proud to hear some of the ladies saying they have no problem with signing one. (gives those ladies a Standing Ovation you’re awesome!)

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
2:44 pm

Girl, couldn’t get out that training session fast enough. Although the last exercise was taping half a file folder to our backs with everyone writing something they like about you on the back….must admit the things I felt people here didn’t like about me, they actually do!

MervTheTerrible

June 20th, 2012
2:45 pm

(I’m proud)

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
2:45 pm

Lunch was good…even though I wasn’t feeling :)

Dynamic – How may times have you have meaningless sex in and out of relationships?

What if you had some medical condition early in the marriage that prohibited you from having sex?

Not the same and should not be compared…nor should be done just because of a condition. Seems like somebody is gonna have to ride it out then. I’ll NEVER give the okay to step out. Nope no can do. Keep folks accountable. No you can’t “make” grown folks but you can require accountability.

Just speaking for me but ummm, not my thing. I will say though I agree with your idea but not casually so. I believe folks need to go to the bitter end for making it work but I don’t believe folks should be allowed to just toss it out as “oops my bad.” I got a problem with someone cheating on me. And no it’s not going to be excused or casually addressed. I don’t care if it’s “just sex” or a deep affair. It’s a violation. I think though the casualness (not knocking you) behind your post works against trying to have something strong and solid and letting folks off easy. Yeah I want it to work but danggit I’m not a doormat and you (nor me) will be positioned to make dumb mistakes and decisions and chaulk it up to something casual. Heck if that’s the case and it’s just sex, then danggit just have it with me…your woman :) Making mistakes, we’re all guilty but blatant disrespect will not be tolerated by me nor should be by him either.

Then again, I could be reading waaay too much into what you said…lol

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

June 20th, 2012
2:49 pm

I wonder why Halle Berry now has to pay her babies daddy $20k a month in child support

I’m wondering,too but either way she has the bread to do it and I know there’s a bunch of men jumping for joy at the mere thought or it and high fiving like their team won the superbowl…I guess in a way they kinda did,huh?

Maybe Halle shoulda thought about that before she decided to stud him in the first place…yeah I said stud ’cause she sat on Oprah’s couch and said that’s what she wanted to do…she said it wasn’t about marriage or money she just wanted a baby…

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

June 20th, 2012
2:49 pm

mere thought *of it*…

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
2:52 pm

Sassy – I never saw that show but that’s what she said, wow! Now they have this nasty back and forth battle between them. I wonder what got them to that point. A coworker said the exbeau is going to get child support so the daughter can maintain the same lifestyle that she has when with Halle also when she’s in his care.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
2:52 pm

Slim1 light speed wouldn’t be fast enough to get my hands around that predator’s neck.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
2:52 pm

I hope Cedrick the Entertainer’s new show does well. I like him!

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
2:54 pm

I understand that folks who make lots of money may have more expensive tastes but I find it hard to fathom what the hell you would need buy at $20k a month for a KID. Some folks don’t even make that in a years time, let alone in just 30 days.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
2:58 pm

Slim, so it’s okay to make a million a month, but only pay $500 a month because that’s all the child needs?

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

June 20th, 2012
2:58 pm

I wonder what got them to that point.

Well first of all, he has/had an issue with Nahla being referred to as Black…and from what I’ve read he’s used some racially insentive terms with regards to Halle. There’s also a good age difference the fact that his career is umm..well, and Halle’s is on FIYA. Plus I’m sure there are other things that we arent privy to that’s precipitated this nasty stuff they’ve got going on.

I find it hard to fathom what the hell you would need buy at $20k a month for a KID.

I soo cosign…

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

June 20th, 2012
2:59 pm

insensitive is what I meant but yall get the jist…

disco

June 20th, 2012
3:00 pm

single and happy – I’ve always felt there should be some kind of cap on child support. there is a point when sound judgment has to say it doesn’t take this much to support a child.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
3:03 pm

Single – I wasn’t not making a point of whether or not it’s ‘ok’ but I’d almost want an itemized list of what monies are spent on that kid during a 30 day period that would warrant 20k a month. It’s one thing if an arrangement is setup to go to some sort of trust for the child but I just find it hard to swallow that as a real monthly expense.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:05 pm

and from what I’ve read he’s used some racially insentive terms with regards to Halle

I’ve always wonder interracially if this is something that happens when folks are angry. That’s been my one drawback in crossing the line. If anything slips out racially, I’m out.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:05 pm

Disco being someone that paid for 2 kids, I never had a problem with it, and never thought it was too much. I’m sure $20 grand aint hurting her quality of life, so shouldn’t she want the same for her child when they’re with their father?

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:05 pm

Okay my 3:05 ain’t exactly what y’all are discussing but I’ve always wondered and just wondering

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
3:06 pm

Exiled – I can see private jet flights or private lessons, nannies or whatever….but is there ever a point of “Too much’ when it comes to a kid? I’m asking because I don’t have any kids but I do know I would not want to raise any spoiled brats.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:06 pm

Slim, if it was me you would have to get that list from the courts, because they set the amount, I didn’t so what I did with it would be my business

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:07 pm

And really whether folks agree or like it not, that’s how support is determined. By the lifestyle, keeping a child well within how they’d live if with two parents or with the parent paying the support.

disco

June 20th, 2012
3:09 pm

single and happy – my issue isn’t about trying to hurt the parent that pays. I’m just saying that to me (just disco’s humble opinion) it would make sense if the judge at some point realized X amount isn’t necessary. even accounting for extravagant lifestyles, nannies, tuitions etc. at some point it’s just too much. now I didn’t say $20k was that point. I’m just saying that there has to be a point.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:17 pm

Disco they base it on your income, and theirs income in most states, she decided to get with some one that was broke, so she has to pay. So if you make X,XXX,XXX amount and then you should get with someone that makes X, XXX,XXX amount.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
3:19 pm

disco – Yeah that’s what I’m saying as well. When is $XYZ too much…

disco

June 20th, 2012
3:19 pm

single and happy – after this we’ll agree to disagree. I get all that. I understand the math involved. only saying that I believe there should be a cap. that’s it.

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
3:20 pm

single ~ not only do they base it on one’s income, they also consider the request coming from the one to receive the CS. I had input in mine and the judge honored it. Ok, I’m not rich, just glad I was asked.

i'm swiss

June 20th, 2012
3:22 pm

Afternoon, peeps.

RE: Halle & her child support bill… Hey, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:23 pm

Heeeey, where’s my post??? I was saying that’s for the rich folks. For us “po” folks, they pull out the scale and see where the non-custodial’s income falls and it’s based on that.

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
3:23 pm

@Ex ~ email me please. I have questions about your list. I got my list too, along with a cost to buy the items on that list!

disco

June 20th, 2012
3:23 pm

while I’m generally a law abiding citizen, there is an awful lot about family court that would make me be in contempt. not just the child support issues but a lot of the custody/visitation stuff is outrageous. I tell folks all the time that they didn’t need lawyers/judges when they were getting themselves in that mess and they should try real hard to not need them to get out of it.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
3:23 pm

I’m considering running the HBCU 5K next weekend.
SexyC I’m actually running that race. Also doing the Kaiser 5k and a 10k in the fall. Trying to be like you. ;-)

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
3:24 pm

Exactly, Celisea. I was shown the scale and asked if I was ok with it.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:26 pm

Okay Disco, one last statement, if you look at the percentage of money that most spend on their child a month compared to what you have to pay in child support it doesn’t come close. And I say this from experience

Slim if they put a cap on it, the system wouldn’t be fair to those that don’t make that much but are having to pay a higher percentage.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
3:28 pm

Exiled – I feel…maybe if I grew up in a wealthy home, my way of thinking would be much different. Whenever I go to shop, I definitely pay attention to price or when I weigh anything that I need to spend money on. I suppose if I had an endless supply of $$ I wouldn’t think twice about dropping a couple of thousands on an outfit, shoes, vacation etc…

i'm swiss

June 20th, 2012
3:30 pm

“Slim if they put a cap on it, the system wouldn’t be fair to those that don’t make that much but are having to pay a higher percentage.”

That sounds kinda like our tax laws.

(It always astounds me how all these “Fair Tax” proponents fail to see how it’s a lot harder for someone making $30K to fork over a flat 10% (or whatever) of their income, vs. someone making $300K.)

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:31 pm

Leggs I know they consider reasonable input, I’ve never had to experience it, but I do know some people are denied their increase because the paying parent income hasn’t increased.

disco

June 20th, 2012
3:32 pm

lol. we were saying a cap, not a sliding fee scale. I could just see a bunch of folks all up in court trying to get their child support determined on the “curve”.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:33 pm

so slim what would you do if you won the lottery, 640mil

Dynamic

June 20th, 2012
3:33 pm

Keep in mind that child support also goes on food, gas,and shelter. So in order to maintain the house that he is probably renting in LA it takes 10k. That leaves 10 k for his car, her clothes, and possbily his new girlfriend!

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
3:34 pm

Ex ~ after hours I won’t be able to read the email address you have for me until the next morning. Oh well….

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:35 pm

Leggs – That’s how it works in our world..lol

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:35 pm

Well said Dynamic

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:36 pm

My kid’s dad tried to get his reduced because I make more.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
3:40 pm

Exiled – :lol:

what would you do if you won the lottery, 640mil

Single – I’d do many things that I was not able to afford to do in the past. ;-) But as far as child suport, I don’t have any kids so this would not apply to me at this point in time.

disco

June 20th, 2012
3:40 pm

since we are still on child support – another crazy thought I’ve always had is that when chicks have to take multiple paternity tests to determine the father the poor sap who is the father should get a break. like if he’s number 8 to be tested he should get a percentage off of what he pays. lol.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
3:41 pm

If the custodial parent is sitting around doing nothing, but claiming they need all these $$$ to raise the kids, then they need to get a damn job and help share in the expense of raising our children. If they don’t want to do that, then they need to let the kids come live with me…that way they’ll always live the lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to. Truth is that selfishness and greed prevent some parents from letting their child live with the better parent who can provide the better lifestyle. Even worse is that the courts often help to perpetuate this.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:43 pm

Slim my point is your life would change, and if you had kids so would theirs. And on another note, Hallie wants to take the child to live in Paris, she needs to pay for him to be able to come visit twice a month, and fly first class!!

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
3:44 pm

single ~ I don’t know about going back to court and asking for an increase. I never did that. I was asked before the divorce was finalized if the percentage THEY THOUGHT was reasonable was reasonable to me. I declined what they had in mind and asked for a lower amount. Already knew he wouldn’t be able to keep up with that, his own place and bills, etc. He gives, but not what the court originally asked him to give. I’m a different breed in that respect. I see no need to haul a person into court for back cs knowing they don’t have a pot to piss in, or even for an increase based solely on greed and not need . I had a child contingent on the fact that we both could take care of her. I’m in a positiion to take better care than he can and ask for monetary monthly assistance that won’t leave him homeless (cuz he ain’t coming back to live in my home)!

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:44 pm

So dream, how many kids do you have?

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:46 pm

Leggs you do know they have a different scale when you’ve been married.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
3:50 pm

Single – Well duh, my lifestyle would change along with my kids, family, bf, etc if I had that kind of money. If the baby daddy was a Kazillionaire does that automtically mean he should pay me 5 mil a month to take care of, let’s say a 5yr old?

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
3:50 pm

:lol: single, you know I didn’t even think about that….of course they do. Silly me because I was only thinking about married people divorcing with children. I apologize for being so myopic knowing everyone with children are not married.

Slapping my own forehead….DUH!

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:56 pm

To what Leggs and Mmeello, once you’re past the fallouts the hurt the anger and you’re kid grows up a bit, you move on, you don’t find yourself getting wrapped to tight with these issues. You do better moving on and letting folks deal with their responsibility. Or y’all grow up and work it out. I wouldn’t be caught in court over this.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
3:56 pm

Slim yes he should, that kid is going to expect you to be able to do the same as his father, and a lot of these a hole fathers think what they pay in child support can support a whole family and refuse to give any more.

Leggs don’t know if you’re being sarcastic, can’t tell with these words. but if not I apologize, but yes you have to pay for taking the kids out of a stable environment. where as with single people their environment doesn’t change.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
3:58 pm

Dern internet is down at work

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
4:01 pm

Slim look at some of the money these rich people spend on their kids, preschool tuition that cost as much a Harvard, people to take them where ever they want to go, a nanny and countless of other forms of lessons, it would come out to well over 20 grand a month. To us that don’t make that much in a year it is mind boggling

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
4:03 pm

A Harvard education that is.

i'm swiss

June 20th, 2012
4:04 pm

“when chicks have to take multiple paternity tests to determine the father the poor sap who is the father should get a break. like if he’s number 8 to be tested he should get a percentage off of what he pays”

disco — In reality, even a dude turns out to be proven NOT the father by DNA tests, if he’s done the right thing and already begun supporting the child, he’ll often end up still on the hook legally for child support for a kid that isn’t biologically his. How’s that for a legal system?

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:05 pm

No, I’m not being sarcastic. I think too many women spend too much time going back and forth to court when it really isn’t necessary. Of course, not in all cases, but in far too many. If people take time to be amicable, mountains can be moved. But, if you’re such a vindictive, spiteful individual, no one is suffering but the children involved.

Into the Light

June 20th, 2012
4:06 pm

Afternoon, all!

I wouldn’t have a problem signing a prenup and I don’t view it as setting an expectation for failure. Most of my friends are on their second marriage, and some of those are, quite frankly, a little shaky. It doesn’t mean they weren’t head over heels going in, and didn’t make every effort to make things work; they just changed and became different people. If I were in a situation like that, I would take comfort knowing that there was a document in place to protect both parties from over-the-top demands made purely out of spite.

Leggs: Give me the winning numbers for tonight! :)

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
4:10 pm

I agree disco, they’ll always say i’m looking out for my child, but how can all that fighting be in the child’s best interest?

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
4:12 pm

Our planner found us the best photographer ev-ER!!!

Into the Light

June 20th, 2012
4:13 pm

And speaking of money, Blackfoote weren’t you supposed to put $20 on black for me?? :lol: :lol: Hope you had a good time.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
4:14 pm

Swiss I have a friend that happened to, and explanation was that since he had been there for the child, and was really involved in the child’s life they weren’t going to change it, and another who found out a child was his and had to start paying because the guy that had been paying wasn’t in the child’s life so the let him of the hook. and both kids were around 14 when this happened.

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:15 pm

“where as with single people their environment doesn’t change” – I disagree, if you’re living together and one moves out, their environment does infact change. Maybe not in the eyes of the law, but changes…

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:16 pm

Beautiful, SexyC!

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
4:16 pm

Single – I agree. To us po folk, living a po lifestyle, 20k a month sounds infathomable! 20k per month = 240k per year! Not bad.

There is this private school that we would love for our daughter to attend, but it’s 20K per year. Then if she graduated from there, it’s on to college. If I’m paying 20K per year for middle & high school, she BETTER be getting into an ivy league!! Mo money, mo money!!

abc

June 20th, 2012
4:17 pm

The legal system is setup like that to benefit the child, not the guy that was falsely identified as the biological father.

Biological fathers should be on the hook for support with or without legal requirement. They partnered up and created the child, the child is their responsibility. Period. Any man that shirks that is a total sh1theel.

Prenup? I don’t need no stinkin prenup.

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:17 pm

ITL ~ I don’t know about that, I’m going through the valley of wrong numbers.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
4:20 pm

Leggs, that’s why I’m against living together. especially when children are involved, If you’re going to live together why not get married so when you split, it can be done fairly. Opps now we’re back to the prenup

disco

June 20th, 2012
4:22 pm

leggs – my mother is feeling some kind of way because 725 fell twice this week and she didn’t play it either time.

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:23 pm

Not necessarily back to a prenup, single, but definitely stipulations for a divorce decree!

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:24 pm

WHAT, it fell again???? I’ve been thinking about that number since you posted 7725.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
4:24 pm

abc – Well said

SexyC – Yep….lovely pics

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
4:24 pm

ABC I’m glad mine was done the legal way so they can’t come back later on saying I’ve never supported my child.

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:26 pm

Great post, abc!

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
4:26 pm

Kimmie not imagine splitting up and now husband saying that’s too much, he doesn’t want to pay that much in child support.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
4:29 pm

I was hoping CS and prenup was done :(

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
4:31 pm

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
4:31 pm

phone blogging is not fun…ugh

i'm swiss

June 20th, 2012
4:33 pm

In happier child-related news…

We had a little bit of a scare last week with little SwissMocha, but after a full check and some ultrasounds, mom & baby are both doing fine & Mrs. Swiss’s baby bump is starting to show… :D

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
4:37 pm

swiss – Glad to hear that all is well in the SwissCamp! One of my customers just revealed that he and his wife are expecting now but have not really told anyone. I think i’m starting to get a slight case of baby fever. :???:

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
4:41 pm

Mmeello – I believe in the Old and New!

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
4:42 pm

Swiss – Good deal! Glad mom & baby are okay, and you too!!

There is a lady here who is adopting a baby boy with her husband. Her group is giving her a baby shower. She’s had some health issues, back surgery, and she’s young. I told her I was thrilled for her. She said she’s excited but a little scared. I told her I knew she’ll be a great mom.

I overheard some other women hating on her though. Everybody can’t pop out babies easily like you all, I wanted to tell them! How can you hate on such a beautiful thing?

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
4:47 pm

One of the managers here adopted a little boy last year….next thing you know the mother they got the kid from had another child so my manger and his wife adopted her as well. I have no idea if the kids have the same father or not but I felt a bit disturbed that the mother, hardly a year later is now putting up another child for adoption. Where a condom!!

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
4:48 pm

So dream, how many kids do you have?
Single I have a daughter, and I’m the custodial parent.

A good lawyer plus a good guy with solid home and solid track record of income stabity should be able to win against a Shannekwa with a bunch of multiple daddy kids.
Exiled I agree with some modifiers. Your lawyer has to be way better than “good”, your track record has to be stellar and not just “solid”, and the mom has to be borderline crackhead. In terms of the income, if it’s too “stable” or high, then you could be awarded full custody and still have to pay child support for the few weekends your child is with them.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
4:50 pm

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
4:52 pm

wear not where

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
4:55 pm

We are back in business…and blogging from the computer. Blah to phone blogging

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
4:57 pm

I guess at the end of the day, folks have to do what’s right for them.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
5:01 pm

I suppose…anyway, Peace out!