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Are prenups making us pro-marriage?

I have heard from many male friends that the idea of marriage could be more appealing to them if the risks were minimized. Apparently, things such as child support, alimony, and asset protection are valid concerns men have about picking the wrong mate.

It seems that prenuptial agreements are more commonplace than ever. Not only the wealthy utilize prenups, anyone who wants to protect their worth and their future earning potential can take steps to do so.

All this makes me wonder if more ways to “reduce the risks” involved with marrying, shouldn’t we more open to jumping the broom?

Do you think that prenups are helping us to become more pro marriage?

Is it a worthwhile effort to reduce risks associated with marrying the wrong person?

Why do you think so many people take that leap of faith and decide to ignore the divorce rates, infidelity statistics, etc.?

Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog.

186 comments Add your comment

disco

June 20th, 2012
10:40 am

BF – I didn’t realize I’d used shaft twice. I was just trying not to use short end of the stick again since I’ve about played that one out this week. lol.

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
10:47 am

Kimmie, I’ve know women like that also, heck I’ve never known any that made out great in a divorce when you hear both sides of the story.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
10:58 am

Single – Me either. It’s just a mess all around!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
10:59 am

Take the emotion out of the prenuptial question and it comes down to is financial planning and asset protection.

If only it were that simple…

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:05 am

Hey SCool!

I got a way to make it simple:

Po marry po
Rich marry rich

See? Simple!!LOL!!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:07 am

Don’t forget…Po stay Po….

Did you get that link I sent you?

czBrat

June 20th, 2012
11:12 am

kimmie, you funny but right on the money. simple answer here is that two people who are in disagreement about the need for a prenup should not marry.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:15 am

Yes SCool I did! I am going to pull it up when I get home this evening on the big computer.

Check out Bridal Bliss today if you get a chance. The couple is from ATL and met at UGA!!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:17 am

Which show are you and hubby going to tonight?

disco

June 20th, 2012
11:18 am

SCool – po stay po? lol. I don’t know if that’s true, funny, mean or all of the above.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:21 am

SCool – Unfortunately we couldn’t get work & babysitting worked out! :(

Which are you guys going to? I will have to live vicariously thru you!LOL!!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:21 am

I’m really pleased with how our shoot turned out. I may submit ours….(lol)

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:24 am

SCool – I know it’s nice!! You should, I want to be able to see pics of folks I know on there!

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:25 am

We are going to the 10p show.

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:30 am

Hey, disco! How’s life?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
11:34 am

LOL……@Kimmie

Po= no pre-nup required, uncontested divorce, child support maybe, on to the next

Rich= pre-nup discussions, scathing divorce proceedings, pre-trial custody, massive child support payments, alimony, sell and split assets,

In either scenario a man should tough it out I know not always the case, but a decent man will make sure his previous family is in tact and not lacking. When and if she finds a another like my ex did then I feel comfortable they can go on and live their life without me.

kimmie

June 20th, 2012
11:36 am

Blackfoote – You are truly an honorable man.

Oh, and I fits in the “po” category!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 20th, 2012
11:40 am

Thanks Kimmie,

LOL…….You can put another check by the box in the Po category for me too.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
11:46 am

The law says I have to have car insurance or I can’t drive
And why is that? It’s because people have severely inflated ideas of their own driving abilities. They could never get into an accident. Good thing the law knows better.

the government says that banks should be fdic insured up to a certain amount, after that you’re on your own
This wasn’t always the case. FDIC was instituted so that people would feel comfortable taking the risk of putting their assets somewhere other than their shoebox or under the floor boards. They had to offer people some assurance that they wouldn’t lose everything due to a market crash or unscrupulous bankers. With all the failed banks in the last three years, there are certainly lots of people pretty happy about the existence of the FDIC.

I will never pay for a warranty when buying a new car it comes with it if it doesn’t i’ll take my chances
Most new cars come with a some warranty as part of the purchase. The deciding factor for many recent Kia and Hyundai owners was the fact that they come with a 10 year warranty.

Sex is a sin before marriage, and outside of marriage
Your interpretation.

I’ve never worn a helmet, my kids learned how to ride without helmets.
So because your children were fortunate enough to avoid serious injury while learning to ride a bike, that makes helmets a bad decision? Don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I’ve been smoking 40 years, and I’m just fine.” Doesn’t make smoking a responsible life choice.

Protecting what you have before marriage is one thing
This is exactly what a prenup is meant to do.

The fact is that a prenup doesn’t differ at all from all the other areas of life where we make it a point to protect ourselves. We just attach emotional sentiment to marriage, so we rationalize that it must be different. It’s not. And it doesn’t detract from love one bit. Loving yourself while loving someone else isn’t selfish. Loving someone else isn’t even possible if you don’t love yourself.

czBrat

June 20th, 2012
11:46 am

i’ve always considered myself “po but don’t kno”. :grin:

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
11:47 am

Good morning.

Hey there, Lily. Keep up the race of beating Ex (lol). I love the competition

Haven’t read much of the topic, but pre nup or no pre nup, I think a man should be more concerned with his family being able to live comfortably w/o him taking the spiteful road and creating unnecessary havoc on the children due largely to him being hurt. Grown folk should never, EVER take their anomisity for each other out on the children whereby they’re doing more suffering that the adults ending their relationship.

Now, if it’s just the man and woman and no child involved, I could care less if you shoot each other (j/k).

Back to my boring a$$ 5-hr training session.

Hello everyone!

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
11:48 am

Sorry, same goes for the woman is she’s the one who made the man sign the prenup!!!

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
11:48 am

Hey SexyC. How are things on you end? Good to catch you on.

disco

June 20th, 2012
11:55 am

SCool – life is good. yesterday my momma complained because baskin robbins had too many flavors of ice cream. all she wanted was a “plain, regular sundae” but, of course, that’s not on the menu. lol.

dreams – re drivers. ever notice that everyone thinks they are a good driver?

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
11:55 am

DreamsMat…
All is well.
Today…as is usually the case when I get to hang out these days….I am avoiding work. What am I avoiding today? Reviewing 66 employee evaluations……sheesh…

Bluzgirl

June 20th, 2012
12:14 pm

I’m indifferent about a prenup. Honestly, I don’t see getting into a situation where it may even be necessary. I realize that not all marriages work out, but when I get married, I will do my best to keep it together. I think divorce is too simple of a solution. I never want to get divorced (unless I’m cheated on).

If the issue came up, I’d have to really think about it. I won’t really know how I feel about it until faced with it, I guess.

DreamsMaterialize

June 20th, 2012
12:18 pm

Reviewing 66 employee evaluations……
SexyC Yeah that sounds real exciting. Well you know if there’s one thing the blog is good for, it’s avoiding work. lol I think I remember you were running pretty hard last time I saw you on. Still doing that?

SexyCool

June 20th, 2012
12:21 pm

I’m only running 2 or 3 days a week now. I’m finding that with the heat, I am spending more time on the elliptical in my basement. (lol)

However, we will be running the Peachtree on the 4th and I’m considering running the HBCU 5K next weekend. (Haven’t decided yet.)

Single and Happy

June 20th, 2012
12:33 pm

Dream in most states you don’t need a prenup to protect what you had before marriage, it only protects future earnings. and as far as the other, just a difference of opinion.

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:35 pm

I forgot I accept a lunch date today at 1:00…I’m soooooo not feeling this. Just got a message asking if we’re still on. When I intially accepted…getting off the elevator it was just sort of “oh yeah, um okay”…lol I wasn’t really for real :(

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:36 pm

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:37 pm

Heeey MMeelloo! I loved your post this morning… “You truly in love go for broke” :)

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
12:37 pm

Okay that might be romanticizing a bit but I’m just saying…

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
12:51 pm

Well Howdy Doody folks,

Sounds like we have decent views on both sides of the spectrum. I think I would feel some kinda way if my fiance asked me for a pre-nup. It would initially make me want to question his outlook for our marriage and me. I was not raised to try to take another person for what they have and my mom is the same way. Out of the times she’s been married she has never looked back or tried to grab all she could on the way out. She has been perfectly fine with her peace of mind and whatever she had coming in. If the fiance kept pushing it, i’d have to look into what all the pre-nup included. From what I hear, not all pre-nups are there to ensure the other party is leaving without anything…Sometimes it works out for both parties without having all the emotional tug of war, hurt and anger in the end that most folks react out of. I suppose it’s sort of like making your funeral arrangements early in life, not that you are preparing to die anytime soon..but just to make it less of an issue when that time comes to deal with that reality. But I’m all in and I would hope my guy would be too.

Exiled!

June 20th, 2012
12:55 pm

King Lebron is on his way! Ok haters!! :lol:

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
1:15 pm

Exile – Hardy har har….and no to answer your question.

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
1:17 pm

Did yall hear about the dad the beat a man to death that he caught molesting & raping his daughter?

http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/06/20/no-crime-in-beating-child-molester-to-death/

Willie Dynamite

June 20th, 2012
2:01 pm

Afternoon All,

I don’t know if anything would make folks more Pro Marriage nowadays. I do understand the need for some people to have a pre-nup. It really is an afterthought to me as to the why’s and why nots. Basically my opinion is for whatever side of the fence you sit on then find someone that agrees with your thought process and hopefully happily ever after will will out. If not then oh well.

disco

June 20th, 2012
2:27 pm

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
2:32 pm

Dynamic

June 20th, 2012
2:35 pm

I read a few posts and others were saying that if a spouse cheated then they would divorce. Why? I have a friend who told me that if her husband ever cheats on her she knows that she will not leave the marriage, which got me to thinking. She reasoned that if it was “just sex” that should would move past the infidelity. So with the comments of others I was thinking that your spouses aren’t able to make a stupid mistake and you work through the issue together? How may times have you have meaningless sex in and out of relationships? What if you had some medical condition early in the marriage that prohibited you from having sex? Would you expect your spouse to never have sex again or divorce you?

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
2:38 pm

Exiled – Well if you did all that, then i’m not sure you’d make it without serving any time. At least the dude called 911 to have him picked up which probably made the situation better. However, you can never speak for what your reaction would be if you saw someone taking advantage of your child. Something comes over you and you are a ball of hate/protection. That dad definitely should be commended. I wouldn’t expect any less from my Pops.

disco

June 20th, 2012
2:39 pm

leggs – thanks for showing up.

dynamic – sometimes sex is just sex and sometimes sex is more than that. maybe her hubs had a meaningless one time fling, maybe he has a meaningless one time fling with a different chick once a month and maybe her hubs has a girlfriend (maybe even kids) across town. if she’s willing to work through infidelity that’s on her. she won’t be the first and she won’t be the last.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

June 20th, 2012
2:41 pm

SlimUno

June 20th, 2012
2:42 pm

Sort of on topic, I wonder why Halle Berry now has to pay her babies daddy $20k a month in child support and they were never even married. :shock:

MervTheTerrible

June 20th, 2012
2:44 pm

I agree with prenups 100% shoot when you own your own house two cars (used) and will probably be one of the few of my generation to retire on time maybe early, yes, prenup please. I am not rich but I built my own future, in my opinion a woman refusing to sign a prenup, is she has a backup plan if the marriage fails. I proud to hear some of the ladies saying they have no problem with signing one. (gives those ladies a Standing Ovation you’re awesome!)

Leggs

June 20th, 2012
2:44 pm

Girl, couldn’t get out that training session fast enough. Although the last exercise was taping half a file folder to our backs with everyone writing something they like about you on the back….must admit the things I felt people here didn’t like about me, they actually do!

MervTheTerrible

June 20th, 2012
2:45 pm

(I’m proud)

Celisea

June 20th, 2012
2:45 pm

Lunch was good…even though I wasn’t feeling :)

Dynamic – How may times have you have meaningless sex in and out of relationships?

What if you had some medical condition early in the marriage that prohibited you from having sex?

Not the same and should not be compared…nor should be done just because of a condition. Seems like somebody is gonna have to ride it out then. I’ll NEVER give the okay to step out. Nope no can do. Keep folks accountable. No you can’t “make” grown folks but you can require accountability.

Just speaking for me but ummm, not my thing. I will say though I agree with your idea but not casually so. I believe folks need to go to the bitter end for making it work but I don’t believe folks should be allowed to just toss it out as “oops my bad.” I got a problem with someone cheating on me. And no it’s not going to be excused or casually addressed. I don’t care if it’s “just sex” or a deep affair. It’s a violation. I think though the casualness (not knocking you) behind your post works against trying to have something strong and solid and letting folks off easy. Yeah I want it to work but danggit I’m not a doormat and you (nor me) will be positioned to make dumb mistakes and decisions and chaulk it up to something casual. Heck if that’s the case and it’s just sex, then danggit just have it with me…your woman :) Making mistakes, we’re all guilty but blatant disrespect will not be tolerated by me nor should be by him either.

Then again, I could be reading waaay too much into what you said…lol

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)

June 20th, 2012
2:49 pm

I wonder why Halle Berry now has to pay her babies daddy $20k a month in child support

I’m wondering,too but either way she has the bread to do it and I know there’s a bunch of men jumping for joy at the mere thought or it and high fiving like their team won the superbowl…I guess in a way they kinda did,huh?

Maybe Halle shoulda thought about that before she decided to stud him in the first place…yeah I said stud ’cause she sat on Oprah’s couch and said that’s what she wanted to do…she said it wasn’t about marriage or money she just wanted a baby…