Relationships: Almost doesn’t count?
Single people catch a lot of flack about being too picky, having loads of items on their dating checklists, and being a little unreasonable about who would be a good match for us. Is it really mandatory to have all that in one person to make us happy with who we pick?
Often, I am inclined to agree that we focus too much on perfect matching, and less on authentic compatibility. How close do we need to be to get the most important things we want in a mate?
If we think we want a certain type of person, does it count if you meet someone with 80% of what you think is ideal?
If you rank the top traits of an ideal mate, what do you do when you meet someone with most, but not all of those traits? Do you hold out for the 100 %? Is it foolish to believe that the person actually exists?
When it comes to being with the someone you can build and share a life with, what is the one thing you believe could seal the deal for you? Is the one thing something you would keep waiting for if you are not finding it anywhere?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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172 comments Add your comment
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
1:58 pm
This show gets a 10 for the GHETTO GIGGLES category
czBrat
June 19th, 2012
1:59 pm
As for the ‘act like you know’ comment, any (most) chicks would say that
not in my world. but my point was that no one other than a man’s s/o should even get away with it.
slim, i didn’t catch it from the beginning, but i kept wondering the same thing. where on earth did he plant that woman to keep her outta the way? probably north gwinnett. LOL.
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
2:00 pm
Leggs – Yeah I caught how he threw that LL Cool J look with the “I love you” in there. HOLLERS
But honestly, some chicks eat that up. He was trying to pacify (shut her up) with a large house purchase probably in lower Alabama…far far away from the studio
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
2:02 pm
@czB ~ I saw him turn around after she threw the drink, but didn’t look like he was coming to sit down. And then he in turns throws a drink at her (not sure if that was the end of the show or what’s going to happen next week). I thought he was going to slug her. Too much testosterone from the both of them…
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
2:04 pm
Too much testosterone from the both of them…
HOLLERS, I thought the same thing especially when she first shows up at the studio and sits across from him talking about how much she’s been in the gym. Came off quite manly to me
Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB
June 19th, 2012
2:11 pm
CzBrat-not in your world, lol…cause I wish a mofo would try to shine like that, not even a man’s S/O should try that…its not a good move at all..
Slim, you say he bought her a house in LA….Lower Alabama….maybe in Eufala, Abbeville, Tallassee, Headland…lol
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 19th, 2012
2:11 pm
Leggs you are devoting too much time to work, let them folks know you are wanted here with us on the blog……..LOL
czBrat
June 19th, 2012
2:14 pm
not even a man’s S/O should try that
true, jake. but there are relationships that
dysfunction that way.Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB
June 19th, 2012
2:19 pm
czB-I know its TV, but I guess i live in my own bubble, cause I have never had a woman act out like that on me…my bad, I have never allowed such…
kimmie
June 19th, 2012
2:24 pm
Has anyone been to “Do at the view” pizza place downtown? (Do, like Do, Re Me)You order and communicate by iPad. Friends told me about it, sounds like fun.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 19th, 2012
2:28 pm
I’m having flash backs about Donna Summer what a beautiful 62 year old woman. Same age as Pam Grier, both those women could be my cougar, since Donna is gone Pam always been on the top shelf. I’m thinking about women of color aging so graciously I mentioned to y’all about this 72 year old lady looked like she was in her fortys, don’t know why but it just hit me.
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
2:29 pm
kimmie – No i’ve never heard of it but I like pizza and that sounds interesting. I’m going to check it out
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
2:32 pm
kimmie – Wait, i think someone did mention it on here a while back..can’t recall who it was
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 19th, 2012
2:34 pm
Damn even Star is looking good even though we’re the same age she can have too.
disco
June 19th, 2012
2:39 pm
okay – since things have slowed down a bit here’s an off topic. I’m reading my daily dose of news and come across a news article where they found an unconscious male rape victim lying by the side of the road. I don’t know if I’m the only one but I always associated male rape with prison. certainly never associated with random street violence. wow.
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
2:42 pm
disco – Yup it happens, not to mention the thousands of boys that are molested as kids…granted not considered street violence but still bad. These days I couldn’t even tell you what is more prevalent, boys being messed with versus little girls. smh
MervTheTerrible
June 19th, 2012
2:43 pm
“Single people catch a lot of flack about being too picky”
Nooooo it is just some of us know what we want and will not settle for anything less than what we want. And what I am looking for isn’t too much, but the things I am looking for are key, but I am not telling what those are because that’s cheating the system and I would like those things to come naturally, not being taught.
disco
June 19th, 2012
2:45 pm
slim – that’s just it. I’m not talking young boy or even teen. I’m talking a grown man being randomly selected and raped on the streets. it’s almost hard to wrap my mind around especially since there was no indication that a weapon was involved and even then I’d think most men would fight dang near to the death on that one. crazy.
MervTheTerrible
June 19th, 2012
2:47 pm
Basically I want the Steak, not the left overs.
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
2:50 pm
o/t: I just heard on the radio about some lady that got caught shoplifting. She had some chitterlings, a can of raid and some koolaid
Please tell me that is a joke, is this for real??
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
2:53 pm
disco – When you put it that way, I get what you’re saying. Hard to visualize that as well.
i'm swiss
June 19th, 2012
2:57 pm
“I’d think most men would fight dang near to the death on that one”
The dude was found unconscious, right? So, he probably did.
Thing is, that kind of thing, unless the dude is found unconscious like this guy, I can pretty much guarantee you would never hear about it, because no victim would ever report it.
kimmie
June 19th, 2012
3:00 pm
disco – that’s sad. I know he’s a grown man, but these days you have to watch out for your sons as well as daughters!
Sorta back on topic – Old tired Michael Baisden has had these shows where he asks do women know what they want. I’ve seen articles and blogs discussing the same thing. They all say women don’t really know what they want in a man and they should decide on that before they attempt to date. But, when women do know what they want and say it, then they are accused of being too picky or not wanting the “right” things.
Can’t win for losing!! That’s why you just live your life and everyone else be damned!
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
3:02 pm
@BF ~ I am back…had a little episode, but I’m good now!
Celisea
June 19th, 2012
3:02 pm
I’m so afraid for my kid and everybody elses because this world seems like it’s getting worse by the minute. You can teach and teach and teach but if what’s around them is more appealing then you’re in for a battle.
On getting a steak….make sure you don’t come wrapped in a SPAM can yaself…lol I KID I KID…sort of. Everybody is somebody’s leftovers but like we said earlier go for what you want. Just saying to get someone not used means hitting up prek-ers…lol
I’M KIDDING!!!!
Celisea
June 19th, 2012
3:05 pm
I have a hard time looking/listening/reading the news. I was thinking the same thing as Swiss, he no doubt did fight.
Bluzgirl
June 19th, 2012
3:06 pm
I know ya’ll are off topic now, but I thought I’d chime in real quick. I’ve been told in the past that I set my standards too low (which I’m sure ya’ll would agree). I’m learning to set them higher, but not too high. I don’t have a list, but I’m learning the things that I will and will not tolerate anymore. I guess I should say that musicians and clowns are now non-negotiables!!! LOL
disco
June 19th, 2012
3:06 pm
swiss – good point. he was found unconscious without pants or shoes.
kimmie – I think the fact that it was a grown man is why the story is so disturbing to me. I think women are a lot more conscious of being careful when going out in that regard. I can’t imagine that the possibility of being raped ever crosses the average man’s mind.
C – a spam can? you crazy.
Willie Dynamite
June 19th, 2012
3:06 pm
Kimmie – Not to co-sign Baisden as I am not one of his fans. I will say for the most part people in general (Men and Women) don’t know what they want. They can tell you quick what they don’t want. It is a dayumed if you do or don’t scenario. You don’t strike me as the type to care either way tho.
Celisea
June 19th, 2012
3:07 pm
disco –
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
3:08 pm
Bluz ~ especially short short clowns!
Celisea
June 19th, 2012
3:09 pm
hiding in shrubs…lol
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
3:11 pm
I actually have my new stun gun fully charged and ready to go
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
3:12 pm
with big heads…
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
3:13 pm
Speaking of stun guns, I’m investing in one and a pistol….it’s bad in the streets and those same people want to take if out the streets and into stranger’s homes!
czBrat
June 19th, 2012
3:14 pm
and also in recent news: adidas actually produced sneaks with shackles.
cba
June 19th, 2012
3:18 pm
Celisea~thanks for the props awhile back. Your posts alway keep my head nodding up and down and a few times left and right
But always smiling 
Willie Dynamite
June 19th, 2012
3:19 pm
Leggs – I think they stop making pistols in 1978. j/k j/k
Brat – the adidas shoes are just horrible. I can’t believe that even made it off the design floor let alone into production and sales.
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
3:21 pm
@WD ~ oh…I’m gonna get a gun….
I wouldn’t necessarily automatically think of “slavery” when I saw those sneakers. My initial thought would be “dang, those are some ugly sneakers.” Then, I may think of slavery.
disco
June 19th, 2012
3:23 pm
leggs – you say that now but what about when you are riding down the highway and see a bunch of guys in jumpsuits wearing shackle adidas and singing swing low, sweet chariot. lol.
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
3:24 pm
With that combination in front of me, disco, slavery will be front and center!
Leggs
June 19th, 2012
3:25 pm
Not only that, how the heck did they come up with a price tag of $350????
Celisea
June 19th, 2012
3:25 pm
cba – I know I know…sometimes with the craziness you can’t help but go left and right
Bluzgirl
June 19th, 2012
3:27 pm
Brat…I could not believe those UGLY shoes!!!! What a horrible idea!
czBrat
June 19th, 2012
3:28 pm
LMAO @ disco. foolish woman!
my first thought was actually jailbirds. i think cuz of the orange color choice. but yeah, i asked myself is there NO ONE in that company with enough sense to say “bad idea!” before that shoe made it to somebody’s sales floor?
kimmie
June 19th, 2012
3:35 pm
Willie – You got it! Don’t give a flip. It’s a beautiful thing to be at that point in life!LOL!!
I guess for me though, as long as I know what I don’t want, what should it matter? Like what was discussed by some earlier, sometimes you don’t know what you want until you don’t have it anymore. Or it’s something not very tangible or easy to describe, but you and this person have a vibe, a chemistry. You may be great on paper, but if you & I don’t jive, it’s a moot point. It’s not really like a job applicant, where you can list qualifications and have a fit. Knowing exactly what you want in a mate seems very limiting.
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
3:35 pm
Leggs – My next move will be to get a gun…I just haven’t found one I want to call my Ride or Die on the side, just yet. lol
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
3:37 pm
disco – With the saggin’ trend, they’ll fit right in if they ever get sent to prison.
Bluzgirl
June 19th, 2012
3:39 pm
Now that I’m living alone again, I’ve been thinking about a gun, but need to take courses on how to use and maintain it. I’m not comfortable at all with guns. I’ve thought about a stun gun, but those are just as expensive!!!
SlimUno
June 19th, 2012
3:46 pm
I took a gun safety class offered by the county I live in. You can check with your county or neighborhood gun range for classes…I ordered my stun gun through Divas In Defense since I took a self-defense class. You can check it out. They offer many different classes as well as options of different weapons
http://divasindefense.com/wp/programs-for-women/