Would you marry after 2 weeks?
I really was not going to get into the new HBO, show Girls. I am soo far from being a young girl (birthday is in 10 days!) and I don’t live in New York (not yet, that is.). Yet here I am, thinking about last night’s season finale.
One of the characters decides to up and marry a guy she met a whopping 14 days earlier. Now, I am all for spontaneity and living in the moment, but how does a two week relationship evolve into a marriage? Well, it’s fictional and on HBO, which isn’t just TV, so whatever.
The reality is though, there are people who believe in love at first sight. Some fall so hard and so fast, that they commit to a life together right away. Does that mean their love isn’t real, though?
I really want to know the marriage statistics on people who met and married in a short amount of time, compared to those that didn’t. What do you think those numbers would be?
Would you marry someone after two weeks of knowing them? Do you think love at first sight is possible?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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272 comments Add your comment
Mr. Unknown
June 18th, 2012
1:53 pm
What up Guys? I don’t have nothing to add to the topic.
Slim~ We had our share of dumb songs MC brains “oochie coochie” lol
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 18th, 2012
1:54 pm
I never met anyone that fell in love with me at first sight, but if I felt hot and heavy, a strong attraction, weak in the knees, heart skipping a beat and a willingness to put myself out. I call that bundles of love, it can mean something totally different to another. If I have feelings like those on the onset for somebody you can call it what you want but it’s all love to me. Who knows where love is lurking and will make you do, feel, or have strange ways. I’m sure folks can shut those feelings off after you do what are you left with?
Single and Happy
June 18th, 2012
1:55 pm
@Swiss, you said it all, that’s what I call the life puzzle and you’re just looking for the pieces to fit in
kimmie
June 18th, 2012
1:56 pm
Single – You post about making general statements makes zero sense to me, especially when you are initially getting to know someone and discussing your goals and desires, but to each his/her own. For example, if I meet someone and coming out of the gate they feel they need to inform me that they never want to get married, that’s it for me. Do you think it should make a difference if he gets down to the nitty gritty, about how he MAY consider it if all the stars and planets are lined up just so? It all is just not that complicated, but as long as you’re happy!
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
1:56 pm
Off (current) topic for a sec….I am officially hitting the gym everyday this week. Vacay is less than 30 days away. I’m shedding 10 pounds.
For Real
June 18th, 2012
1:58 pm
“your constant outcry AGAINST women” – Outcry AGAINST women???? I don’t like it when people (see I said people not women but to be fair women play this part for more than men do but there seems to be a trend with dude to play this part as well but on a whole it’s a woman thang) play the victim. I mean ain’t nothing is ever their fault (i.e. men brainwashing women) and then try to find ways to turn their poor decision making in some kind of positive for themselve (i.e. he is weaker than me cause he brainwashed me in to making the decision to get with a dude that got 11 kids by 12 different women). I love women. I give up trying to understand women because it’s like a rocking chair; you are moving but you are not going anywhere.
Single and Happy
June 18th, 2012
2:00 pm
@Kimmie, yes general statement. when we’re getting to know each other I can get to know alot about you without asking any questions, And a someone looking to get over can give you all the answers you want to hear by the questions you ask
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:03 pm
I guess I don’t understand putting yourself out there for love and relationship and the entire shebang if you’re not wanting “marriage.” Why would you shut someone down if they want marriage? Does not the average woman want marriage? Not every woman but the vast majority. So I would wonder why a person is out there requiring all that comes in the space of a relationship but not looking to allow it to move into what’s naturally next? Would it not make more sense to just be out there and not expecting all the other trappings of love? Is it right to expect that AND a woman okay with that but she can’t want marriage? I’m just wondering out loud.
For Real
June 18th, 2012
2:04 pm
Swiss: You are on point. Those people (hey Celisea) seem to think that marriage is some sort of magical elixir that will fix everything in their lives. All they have to do find someone just like their list.
kimmie
June 18th, 2012
2:05 pm
Swiss – You strike me as a smart man, especially being a fellow dawg! While you say marriage was the last thing you wanted, did you tell Mrs Smith that upon your initial meeting or at any time during your courtship? Cause that’s my problem with the whole thing.
I was kinda like you. If I just wanted to “be” married, I could have “made” it happen years ago and would more than likely be divorced now. Happiness and wanting to share my life with the right person caused me to wait. But you don’t shut the door on something coming out of the gate, in my opinion, unless you’ve already got it in your head it’s never gonna happen with said person. I’m not one at that point to try & “change” your mind. I’m lazy & proud like that!LOL!!
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:06 pm
For Real – See this is where you’re wrong….about me. I’m there with you on women that play victim or screams victim. So much of what’s gone wrong is due to bad decisions, a lack of paying attention, so forth and so on. At the same time, that don’t give the green light to excuse men from the share in the demise of broken, busted women. IMO it goes both ways…which is not what I often hear you say. A woman shouldn’t allow herself to get taken time and time again and a man shouldn’t do it just because he can.
kimmie
June 18th, 2012
2:07 pm
Single- Okay…smh. Just sounds like a lot of bs to me.
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:10 pm
I think you’re (hey For Real), getting me mixed up with other bloggers. I for one know for certain, there’s no quick fix and marriage is not the exlixir for brokeness and past bad decisions. Heck I have to almost hold in my “I am woman hear me roar” feelings, cause I believe you can do the dang thing…live this entire live…unattached to anybody. That’s not my preference but I’m just saying. I think you’ve gotten me mixed up with someone else.
disco
June 18th, 2012
2:10 pm
I’m getting caught up but for starters…
for real – (green beans) those aren’t the tabs I keep. I keep score when it comes to things like a guy wanting to date a woman with 2 or fewer children but he’s sitting in my face with 6 kids. I keep score when a guy claims he wants a woman with a college education but he’s sitting in my face talking about he’s studying for his GED.
Bluzgirl
June 18th, 2012
2:13 pm
Swiss…I don’t want to get married just to get married. I was engaged years ago and could have had that, but I knew it wasn’t right. I do want to meet the right person and get married until death do us part. My ex told me he never wanted to get married ever again and I kept hoping he would change his mind. He never did (with me at least) and I wasn’t truly happy because I could never get that commitment from him. Who knew that he would meet someone after me and after 3 weeks of dating her, propose to her! He used to tell me that I didn’t want the marriage…I just want the wedding. That’s not true either. When I get married, I want to elope to Vegas or have a beach wedding. I don’t want to plan a big wedding…did that once and called it off…not doing it again.
kimmie
June 18th, 2012
2:13 pm
talking about he’s studying for his GED.
disco – I’m over here cracking up on you, because you are so right!! Too many want champagne and a supermodel on a beer budget?belly!LOL!!
SlimUno
June 18th, 2012
2:13 pm
Now everyone knows if you rock a rocking chair hard enough, it’ll move. lol
disco
June 18th, 2012
2:14 pm
still playing catch up…
leggs – re your 1:17. the line about no one wanting a chick with kids. how come my cousin has 4 kids with 4 fathers. a guy married her (none of the kids’ father). they were married for more than 10 years and now that they are separated he’s using that line. she shut him down with “you wanted me and you married me”. too funny.
For Real
June 18th, 2012
2:18 pm
Celisea: Here is the answer to your 2:03 – “I guess that’s when a person finds soloace in the fact that the 401k, life insurance, pension etc. is committed to them.” – Remove this as the reason to get married and I promise you the marriage rate would triple in 2yrs. Now to your 2:06, that’s were you are wrong. I hard on these punk ass so called men running around living on women and whining about what the “man” won’t let them do. I don’t like excueses period. Man-up/Woman-up and most importantly shut up and handle your business like an adult.
Kimmie: “Happiness and wanting to share my life with the right person caused me to wait.” – That’s the point of my Happiness or Marriage question Kimmie. You can’t have a happy marriage until you are a happy person. Picking the institution of marriage over your happiness will only guarantee that you will not be happy. Get happy first and find some peace of mind and you will be amazed at the type of people you attract.
disco
June 18th, 2012
2:18 pm
for real – 1:34 re it’s the usee’s fault for getting used. that’s what I’m talking about. folks better quit casting blame and accept responsibility for themselves.
Leggs
June 18th, 2012
2:20 pm
That is funny, disco. Men just like to say that. Plant that little seedling of doubt hoping it take root and the woman starts sabotaging herself. I feel sorry for weak women, I really do (well on some days).
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:21 pm
For Real, boo boo, I didn’t say that disco made that remark. I actually agreed with your intial statement behind that remark. See, pay attention. Told you, got me mixed up. Heck I have my own FAT I might add, 401K and Pension…lol…so NOPE, don’t need ot latch on to a dude forhis. I think you need to pay closer attention when you’re reading. Seriously man…lol
For Real
June 18th, 2012
2:22 pm
“Now everyone knows if you rock a rocking chair hard enough, it’ll move.” – For Real now rocking Slim’s chair.
Slim: We’re moving.. We’re moving!!!
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:23 pm
Celisea now slapping the ish out of For Real for not paying attention to who’s blogging what.
kimmie
June 18th, 2012
2:25 pm
Picking the institution of marriage over your happiness will only guarantee that you will not be happy. Get happy first and find some peace of mind and you will be amazed at the type of people you attract.
4 Real – Agree totally. When I was single and not seeing anyone, I would tell people all the time that my peace of mind was priceless. I would happily do things alone or with friends/family. I told them if I had to choose between having a dude that was putting me thru changes or going it alone and being at peace, I would gladly go it alone and meant it! It’s wonderful to lay your head down and sleep!
For Real
June 18th, 2012
2:27 pm
“For Real, boo boo, I didn’t say that disco made that remark.” That remark was the answer to your question of why put yourself out there and not want to get married. – For Real aka Slickback is now wondering if he slapped the ish of Celisea too hard.
Disco: Don’t hate on brother for trying to improve by getting a chick at where he is planning to pass through to bigger and better.
Leggs
June 18th, 2012
2:27 pm
O/T ~ I just ate a very juicy peach, nice and sweet. Wished I have brought 2 with me to work!
disco
June 18th, 2012
2:27 pm
and for real – “yeah i said it” lol. while I meant the remark as a sort of joke but kind of true the reality is that a lot of people get married for security whether they admit to it or not. you can take that to mean financial security, emotional security, physical security or what have you but every marriage isn’t based on love alone.
Single and Happy
June 18th, 2012
2:29 pm
For real, marriage doesn’t guarantee you access to those rights unless your state laws say the wife comes first, you can assign those to anyone you want to.
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:30 pm
Celisea wondered if For Real rocked too hard. My 2:03 was an INDIRECT remark to what single and happy was saying and intially said. Guess you gotta follow all remarks to understand the strand. BTW, I don’t believe that’s why men are not putting themselves out there. So no, don’t agree there either. There are more men without than with, so no it ain’t like there are trappings galore for the taking.
disco
June 18th, 2012
2:30 pm
for real – I’m not hating on that brother. just saying I’m not that chick that’s trying to uplift that brother. he won’t be living large on my income, riding pretty in my car, having football parties in my house. disco ain’t going out like that. lol.
For Real
June 18th, 2012
2:31 pm
For Real now medicinally slapping the ish out Disco with a palm full of comet for the condition of jumping in a speaking without reading what Slickback said first.
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:31 pm
Men aren’t putting themselves out there because it’s just not what men do anymore. You’re giving men way more credit than deserved.
i'm swiss
June 18th, 2012
2:33 pm
“While you say marriage was the last thing you wanted, did you tell Mrs Smith that upon your initial meeting or at any time during your courtship? “
kimmie — No. It didn’t take that long for me to realize that I didn’t want to let Mrs. Swiss get away. So, by the time that topic would have been broached, I already knew I wanted to sign her to a long-term deal.
disco
June 18th, 2012
2:35 pm
for real – not to start a blog confrontation but I’ve been having the kind of day where I’ve been sitting here wishing a ninja would. even an imaginary blog slap might have severe consequences and repercussions today. lol. and by the way, what’s a medicinal slap? is it something I should add to my arsenal?
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:35 pm
Landing a man ain’t exactly a commodity these days.
For Real
June 18th, 2012
2:36 pm
Celisea: “There are more men without than with, so no it ain’t like there are trappings galore for the taking.” – Like I have said before it ain’t the dudes with money that need a prenup cause half of 50 million is 25 million. It’s the dudes with 30K that need the prenup because half of 30K is 15K. So, um yes the trapping are there suga foot.
Disco: Sooooooo, it’s safe to say you will not marry up right? You want husband to make the same amount of money as you do and have all the samething that you do so y’all’s list is equal right?
kimmie
June 18th, 2012
2:38 pm
Swiss – I rest my case! Smart man!LOL!!
no it ain’t like there are trappings galore for the taking.
Celisea – I cracked up on this, but you are so right!!
disco ain’t going out like that.
Disco – Why did I hear in my head “Homey don’t play that!”? LOL!! Having football parties at your house – NOT! I know that’s right!!LOL!!
For Real
June 18th, 2012
2:39 pm
Disco: Medicinal means it’s good for you i.e. medicine to make you feel better.
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:39 pm
For Real – Okay dude….like I said earlier for you women, all women yell victim (self inflicted or not) and is wrong for doing so and men? Well, men better beware of all women except for when needing a boat reserved for two and doing the boogaloo…lol
kimmie
June 18th, 2012
2:40 pm
Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. But errbody wants to hold on to their nothing, so have at it!LOL!!!
disco
June 18th, 2012
2:44 pm
for real – I won’t front. I’d prefer a man that made more than me but I could accept a man who didn’t UNLESS said man not only made less than me but was still obligated to pay 2-3 baby momma’s child support or he made less than me and also had bad credit. you see where I’m going with this score keeping thing? I’ll take a short somewhere but it’s got to be made up for somewhere else. i will not carry a grown man and I don’t feel bad for saying it.
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:47 pm
Heck if anything the dudes out there now have more baggage than women and I don’t think any of that baggage holds any type of monetary value. Baby mommas, one if not two ex-wives, snotty kids that you can’t say jack to or always up in the mix, child support and spread among so many kids that can only pay $26.37 a month for each child. If y’all go out you gotta pay (NOT ME, NO CAN DO), cause ain’t nothing left after rent (not mortgage), child support deductions, buying rope to hold up the bumper on his busted car. Not to mention helping him make arrangements on all his utilities around all the child support payments garnished out of his pay. Oh, let’s not forget he works for a company where they don’t have a 401K. So for the $10 a paycheck he’s moving into his savings, he’s spending quicker than it can get there and that leaves him with more fees than money in that account. Honey I could go on and on with this busted dudes getting defended….lol
SlimUno
June 18th, 2012
2:47 pm
“what’s a medicinal slap?”
I’ve been waiting on someone to ask that question lol
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:48 pm
I hadn’t read disco’s 2:44….I’m just saying though
Bluzgirl
June 18th, 2012
2:48 pm
I can definitely say that I don’t need to get married for financial security. Sure…extra money would be nice, but I get along fine on my own. Bought my first house last year…just bought a new car (3rd new one in my lifetime)…been at my job 14 years. Heck…the men I’ve been seriously involved with were broke! I would have to consider a pre-nup for them! LOL!
Willie Dynamite
June 18th, 2012
2:52 pm
I’ll ask the question that you Women are always asking us Men.
Where the heyal are yall meeting these folks at?
Celisea...dragging and tired :)
June 18th, 2012
2:53 pm
As a good friend told me years ago…that I dated…you ain’t no gold digger (yeah cause I work for mine), but you ain’t dating a broke dude. No can do…
Bluzgirl
June 18th, 2012
2:56 pm
No more broke men for me! I’d like it to be at least close to equal. I’ve been too nice in the past with broke men, but no more. Lesson learned!!!
Single and Happy
June 18th, 2012
2:57 pm
@Bluz, “the men I’ve been seriously involved with were broke! I would have to consider a pre-nup for them!” do you like fixer uppers??