Ex-files: Are all your exes insane?
I will never forget returning from a night out with a new guy, only to find my ex waiting in my driveway. Psycho cop was not open to the idea of “parting ways” so he actively tried to sabotage any new potential romances.
The young man I was trying to rebound with was patient as any good man could be, but when he asked me, “Are all your exes this insane?”, well I had to own up to my poor choices in men! Is it fair to judge someone by the last person they dated?
What do you do when your ex is not ready to move on but you are already gone? Do you let the new person know that the ex is lingering around, much to your chagrin?
P.S. Did you hear the one about two guys walk into a club and start taunting one another about their shared ex? No punchline. It happened. What would you do if you found out your exes were fighting about you?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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210 comments Add your comment
Celisea....Only 2 men over a 14 year stretch ;)
June 15th, 2012
11:21 am
disco – Let’s hope not. I would have to be committed…lol
Celisea....Only 2 men over a 14 year stretch ;)
June 15th, 2012
11:21 am
I actually turned the radio station from listening to that mess
lolalee
June 15th, 2012
11:23 am
CB, Drake and Rianna deserve one another. they gotta have publicity to breathe, so they do what they gotta do. nature of the beast.
Bluzgirl
June 15th, 2012
11:23 am
By the way…I’m not sitting here hoping for support or advice from anyone…just telling what happened recently. Think what ya’ll want to think…
ThirdWheelSingle
June 15th, 2012
11:28 am
LOLOL Hey Leggs!!! I am hanging in there… it’s rough…. How are you? Thanks for thinking of me. I have been lurking the last week reading everyone’s replies and laughing. I did leave the 500lb boyfriend who still by the way smells like swamp a$$ and wears jackets when it’s 90 degrees outside…but we are still living together because we are stuck in a lease…. We live in seperate rooms but we still have to share the common areas and bills. I am at my wits end and could become a SNAPPED episode any day now. I am looking for a place to live in the city of Atlanta though.
kimmie
June 15th, 2012
11:29 am
Some folks really do like to keep the drama going with exes. One of my good friends is a prime example. She’s in a long distance relationship with a dude and is very jealous of his ex-wife. The relationship seems to be going rather well though and they’ve been together almost 2 years. Why last night she calls me laughing about 2 of HER exes that she claims have been calling her alot lately and want her back? She even met one at church and later went to lunch with him!! She is playing with fire if her bf finds out! Plus, she would lose her mind if her bf was doing the same! I think it’s a big ego boost to her though! I just listen and stay out of it. When she broke it off with both those dudes I told her then to cut all ties. But hey, what do I know??
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
11:33 am
Hey gang
I don’t know what it is about exes wanting to stay relevant but you’re an EX for several reasons so K.I.M. Within the last few months I’ve had the boy toy show up unannounced, my ex with the two demon seed chirren popped up claiming to need help with schoolwork (ain’t there a tutor for that?!) and most recently I had an ex of 18 yrs to contact me recently. Dude left me for a chick who claimed she was pregnant by him but come to find out they weren’t his twins…fast forward to now, they’re married (but legally separated he claims) and she had a second set of twins(these were his)..but I couldn’t care less. His mom and sisters have called me asking when we’re getting back together and I’m like
Who said that’s gonna happen, cause it’s not….EVER.
The crazy part of this is I know the first two exes drive by my house on occasion…but it won’t change anything casue I’m done with them.
I don’t backtrack for n’aan nugga…
disco
June 15th, 2012
11:36 am
sassy – I was really feeling that n’aan. that’s what I’m talking ‘bout (or should I say tombout?) lol.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
11:41 am
Disco you know sometimes it be like that
Leggs
June 15th, 2012
11:45 am
I like that n’aan much better than my “nare.”
czBrat
June 15th, 2012
11:51 am
sassy, shall we add to the fact that some exes feel the need to stay relevant …
and some folks just don’t know how to show the exes that THEY ARE NOT!!
if you find yourself involved with someone who entertains the exes’ shenanigans,
that someone is most definitely part of the problem.
standing O to you for not participating in that nonsense.
my exes know not to even allude to a second time around.
they can think it, but they betta not say it!
they’d get the death-ray look, then the door slam.
disco
June 15th, 2012
11:56 am
I’m all for exes being cool, friendly, cordial and all that. I guess the real issue is the one’s that don’t get the daggone message that they are no longer wanted, that their advances are no longer appreciated. my grandma always said don’t waste time wanting someone that doesn’t want you. so simple. of course, I guess that’s just in theory. lol.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
12:06 pm
czBrat,thank you for that. I don’t see the sense or need to ride by or show up to someones house in hopes that it’ll make you want them back…we’re through so deal with it.
I guess the real issue is the one’s that don’t get the daggone message that they are no longer wanted
That’s cause sometimes you can’t/shouldn’t be cool, friendly, cordial and all that…for some it gives a glimmer of hope. That’s a slippery slope with a very fine line that one would have to navigate very carefully OR just cut ‘em off like a gangrenous pinky toe…
Leggs
June 15th, 2012
12:11 pm
czB ~ perhaps one should send their ex’s that infamous t-shirt saying “You’re A Non-M…F…. Factor.”
That should help shed light on things for them.
Bluzgirl
June 15th, 2012
12:11 pm
I have one ex that I was close friends with after the break up. It took me about 6 months to get over the feelings I had for him. Once I was over the feelings, we were able to maintain a friendship. He was a great person…we just didn’t click as a couple. Unfortunately, he passed away in March. I found out then that he still had some kind of feelings for me. When I went to his house the night he died, I saw a teddy bear that had a picture of me and him in it that I had given him for Valentine’s Day about 5-6 years ago. I’m glad we never got back together as a couple, but even more happy that we were able remain close as friends.
disco
June 15th, 2012
12:12 pm
sassy – not to be argumentative but that’s just it. the ones that you are totally through with you don’t give a glimmer of hope to. you essentially give them a “move B, get out the way” and they just don’t get it. they are the hangers-ons for lack of a better term. being cordial is for the amicable splits where both parties can lick their wounds, count their losses or whatever and go on with their lives with no hard feelings and no desire to drive past one another’s house or call each other from blocked numbers. lol.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
12:13 pm
perhaps one should send their ex’s that infamous t-shirt saying “You’re A Non-M…F…. Factor.”
Now that’s how you hurt a muhf@#$as feelings…
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
12:14 pm
disco point made…point taken..
disco
June 15th, 2012
12:17 pm
thanks sassy. I didn’t want to seem contrary. what I do want is some freaking lunch. I’m starving up in here.
czBrat
June 15th, 2012
12:22 pm
Now that’s how you hurt a muhf@#$as feelings…
and don’t give a sh!t.
woop woop!
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
12:26 pm
and don’t give a sh!t.
Okaaay?!?!
SlimUno
June 15th, 2012
12:50 pm
I step out and come back to the ladies handing out verbal lashing…Every time I hear “non Mfing factor, I crack up.
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
12:53 pm
Good Lord, that was brutal…I was soooo sleepy 11:30 – 12:52…next meeting starts at 1:50 – 3:00. Guess I better grab lunch
czBrat
June 15th, 2012
1:02 pm
c, i grabbed fast food for lunch yesterday (just mickey-d fries) for the fist time in over a month of healthy eating. i got sooooo sleepy from that junk. i actually walked into a 3:00 meeting announcing apologies in advance for all the yawning and head nodding that would take place over the next hour or so.
and indeed it did.
take it from me … skip the drive-thru!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 15th, 2012
1:05 pm
I wont lie I chased a lady who broke up with me, not for long though. I was young and p whipped sho was, and I thought I couldn’t move on with having more. Several years later I can smile about how whooped I was and pass the experience on to the young guys. Most men will go through this in their early stages in life it’s not a bad thing unless it become physical.
I can’t belive it disco got compassion, I knew it was there or your mom put something in your drink at dinner last night.
Cely I am shocked you being a apprentice bad girl in training, glad you stepped a long way from it.
Het Ex hody man kep the ladys aware you are the right guy to lead the way……LOL Happy Daddy Day Dude
Hey Leggs, Kimmie, Sassy, Bluz, and everyone else. Having a ball, even though I’m losing my shirt I quit and just chillin right now. Y’all take care and have a good weekend
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 15th, 2012
1:07 pm
CZ I didn’t forget you my lady y’all hold it down.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 15th, 2012
1:09 pm
“couldn’t move on without having more”
What I was trying to say, blame it on the alcohol.
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
1:10 pm
czBrat – LOL, nah it will be something from the cafe downstairs. Thanks though
Blackfoote – Don’t be listening to folks…lol The only “bad” in that story (and equation) was the “boy.” Which caused us to always be at odds…lol Trust me I have a mind of my own. Always have. Anyway…(said in my Joey from Friends voice)….how you doin’
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 15th, 2012
1:14 pm
Cely sitting back watching these gigantic barges moving down the Mississippi, just being at peace.
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
1:15 pm
Okay so I confessed to going on in and Blackfoote confessed to being “whipped” Are we the only two? Everybody else have always always been the recipient of crazy? Y’all do know we all got a little crazy below the surface…and rightfully so now. Right?
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
1:16 pm
going ALL in….
Blackfoote – Good for you. You stay out of trouble now. Don’t want to have to send somebody for you.
czBrat
June 15th, 2012
1:16 pm
no worries, bf. i read between the lines in “everyone else” and felt the luv.
go’on and lose your shirt, as long as it’s a good look for you.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
1:22 pm
Everybody else have always always been the recipient of crazy?
I can say for sure that I’ve always been the recipient…my ego will NOT allow me to do anything that foolish/stalkerish…just cain’t do it.
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
1:24 pm
Sassy…lol I hear ya. Well, I have gon in on a brother…of course for taking me there. I too have too much pride to following folks, begging, camping out, peeking…so forth and so on. I feel ya there.
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
1:28 pm
When I say taking me there….for lying on me, for painting a distorted picture of the situation and for trying to make it look like it was me when in fact it wasn’t….that sort of thing. I took it to the source, not the town and the neighborhood like they did.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
1:31 pm
SO OFF TOPIC:
Am I that far out the loop?…yesterday the woman played Andell on The Parkers died yesterday from cervical cancer
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
1:34 pm
I took it to the source, not the town and the neighborhood like they did.
Ain’t nuthing wrong with that Celi..sometimes a person will take you there and you have to unleash on his azz so he’ll know you ain’t the one to f@$k with. Now I’ve done that to the point to where I start making up curse words and wanting to lay hands on a fool, but thankfully I haven’t had to ’cause the cursin he got was enough to suffice.
Robert
June 15th, 2012
1:37 pm
“What would you do if you found out your exes were fighting about you?”
Once upon a time I was almost married. I thought we had a good relationship until she decided to check my cell phone and call all (7) women listed in my contacts. She was very calm and direct and never raised her voice or acted like she was mad. She wanted to know who I was sleeping with and how long? She encouraged them to call each other and compare notes (dates, trips, etc.). She set-up a meeting with 4 women who came to my house to confront me with their facts. When they arrived I was sitting on the couch in the basement and all of them came down stairs. I was stunned and shocked to see them working together. My ex-fiancee started the conversation by telling the other women about how I hurt her and asking me what did I have to say? Before I could say anything one of my lady friends stepped forward to criticize my ex-fiancee for contacting her and causing alot of trouble. She did not care how many women friends I had as long as I treated her with respect. After all I was not yet married and she thought we were a good match. My ex-fiancee went “crazy” and I had to break-up a fight that could have been avoided if my ex-fiancee would have handled this situation differently. The other women looked with shock and thought I was crazy for wanting to marry this woman. Today I am still friends with all 7 women and we laugh about my crazy ex-fiancee.
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
1:40 pm
and you have to unleash on his azz so he’ll know you ain’t the one to f@$k with
Okaaay. I haven’t had to pull this behavior up in years. I did though in the not too distant past. It was like riding a bike. The words were just flowing…lol Thankfully that has passed and hopefully I don’t ever encounter another “character” that will cause me to snapppp!! And really Sassy, that ain’t crazy. It’s just letting folks know…lol
I checked Google and yes, she passed…at the age of 48
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
1:46 pm
It was like riding a bike. The words were just flowing…lol
LOL @ that…Celi you’re right chica, that ain’t craze but sometimes you gotta let’em know…
she passed…at the age of 48
From what I read she had stge 4 cervical cancer as well as kidney problems…sad,sad,sad. At least she’s not suffering anymore. I’m not afraid of much but death is one of them. I try to rationalize it b/c I know one day we will all transition but it still scares me once in a while if I linger on it too long…
Leggs
June 15th, 2012
2:03 pm
Ran to Pizza shop at 12:20 for 2 slices of stuffed pizza for dinner. Wound up spending $75 at Big Lots. Just got back to my desk woofing down chick-fil-a sammich. I am starving.
Hey BF ~ I appreciate your honesty and saying you were puddy whooped. Many men are (lol). No doubt women are weenie whooped as well.
advice for blue and other psychos
June 15th, 2012
2:05 pm
If he can make you act crazy he has the upper hand
Leggs
June 15th, 2012
2:07 pm
Robert ~ bold of her to invite the other women to her home. Greater chance for a brawl to erupt. I think the one who stepped to your ex was wrong. If she didn’t like her bringing everyone together, she could have kept her behind home!!
Leggs
June 15th, 2012
2:09 pm
Sassy ~ I don’t fear much either, but death is one of them. People say I shouldn’t. My boss even told me I need to take the tour of the cemetry off Memorial (?). First stepped into a cemetry 2 years ago to honor a lady that I really admired. I was scared, don’t know why, but I was.
Bluzgirl
June 15th, 2012
2:11 pm
Cel…I admitted it! LOL
The ex that I remained friends with…I went a little crazy because I didn’t want to let go, but not too bad. I just drunk dialed and texted him a bit. In the end, I’m glad I was able to let go of the feelings and just be friends. Also glad he didn’t hold the drunk calls and texts against me!!!
disco
June 15th, 2012
2:11 pm
BF – I expressed compassion? really? when? I must go back and take notes. lol.
Celisea – you know I owned my crazy right up front. there’s no denying it.
Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit :-)
June 15th, 2012
2:13 pm
I feel you Leggs and I understand what you’re saying…earlier this year in January, we buried my grandmother and it’s really rocked me and confronted me with my own mortality. People say you shouldn’t be afraid and sometimes I’m comforted when I read my Bible…but the humanity in me is still afraid at times…
Bluzgirl
June 15th, 2012
2:17 pm
I think most women experience “crazy” moments. One thing is for sure…if a man makes me feel like I need to get crazy, then I really need to reevaluate the situation! I always joke that I’d become lesbian if women weren’t so crazy! LOL!!!
disco
June 15th, 2012
2:19 pm
bluz – you crazy. I always joke that the reason I couldn’t be a lesbian is because I’m too confrontational. while I can say with certainty that I will not be in a domestic violence relationship with a man I don’t think I could say the same if I was a lesbian.
Celisea
June 15th, 2012
2:20 pm
disco/Bluz – A bit of crazy is sane. That’s what advice for blue and other psychos seemingly fail to realized. Save the cookie cutter quotes and sayings…lol All the time it’s not about puppeteering, sometimes you need to stare crazy in the face with crazy.