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Single life: The art of juggling dates

I want to offer a little Dating PSA: Don’t take psychos. No, really. I have to explicitly state this as a lead in today’s topic: The art of juggling dates. If you don’t fully grasp the don’t date psychos PSA then discussing the art of date juggling is pointless.

So, now that we no longer invite psychos into our dating lives, let’s talk about the importance of selecting mature, honest people to date. These are not like Keebler elves – they do exist!

Now we get to the meat of our discussion, dating multiple people, without misleading anyone:

Be truthful about your availability – emotional and physical

Do not overbook, double book, or be inconsiderate of other people’s time

Do not name names. No need to run down all the details of people you are seeing. Atlanta is too small, you may not want to know.

As soon as you realize you feel a stronger connection with one of your romantic interests, carefully adjust your dating focus. Let the others know and free them to find someone else.

These are a few lessons I learned the hard way! What would you add?

Do you find it difficult to juggle dates and focus on getting to more than one person at a time? How do you make it work ..drama free?

P.S. Did I mention don’t date psychos?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

189 comments Add your comment

Lily

June 14th, 2012
6:57 am

Sorry Diva, I can’t agree you mean to say there are honest people out there that really multi date?? You don’t say? LOL

Can’t wait to see what others will say on this topic :)

Randyt (storm brewing...)

June 14th, 2012
7:21 am

I can’t say much here. I don’t ‘multiple date’ and I generally don’t pursue women for long who do. If I miss opportunities, I feel it is more than offset by not wasting time chasing women who can’t decide what they want or just want a free dinner. …my dollar, my choice. I’ve used, abused, $crewed, blued, and tattooed a few times in my life and made a conscious decision long ago to let others play that game.

Randyt (storm brewing...)

June 14th, 2012
7:22 am

meant to say BEEN used….

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
7:32 am

Can’t beat Lilly..hmmppf!

Careful with double dealing and whining and such…coz dating costs money!

Some of you like to slash tires when it’s ur pudy that wad pounded(numerous times) but the guy does not commit.

Well,men luv their money too(and cars)

So of u slash tires,some men will start a ruckus when they spit you with another man that they think they can ummm shake a bit and u know…

Somebody here will be running fast,bare feet,high heels in her hand trying to get to the car and flee because it has gotten hotinheere…lol

Juggle at you own risk!

:lol: :lol:

So be careful with that game..

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
7:33 am

Was pounded

Spot you

Hmmpff!

Randyt (storm brewing...)

June 14th, 2012
8:09 am

I see enough crazies when I accidentally flip across “Cheaters”…funny.

Into the Light

June 14th, 2012
8:25 am

Good morning, all.

Heeeey, Randy. ;)

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
8:30 am

Hey Randy..u following the Euro over there I’m sure..

Go to any pub in London and u should meet some nice chics following the game on tele and drinking.

London is teeming with cougarish sex starved white chics..
U dont have a gal here so.. No double dipping ris for u there..

Who knows, you might have a couple of torn t-shirts after the two week tourney is over…

Keep exercising..u don’t wanna tear ur harmstring

Good luck Randyt…go out and hunt!

Elijah

June 14th, 2012
8:45 am

Good Morning!

Yes Kimmie and Celisea I am back the one and only Elijah…. I was also Mr. L-u-r-k-e-r-007 and a few others Not Alvin who is Demi…

I am a big boy, no running new responsibilities and new employment took me away from the blog.I mean this is better then a comedy show.

Kimmie u know I think you are an outstanding, intelligent, sweetheart of a lady whom I immeasly enjoy reading ,with that being said I did enjoy busting your chops.. lol! In the words of another infamous blogger don’t judge me!

Celisea I simply adore you…From all you previous blog names I know your style, it does not matter you are the best! Yes u are….Yea! lol

We need those old heads to come back The infamous one, Da Rell, Demi,

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
9:10 am

Good morning!

One should date one person at a time. Even if you were to tell someone you’re prowling (because that’s what you’re doing), do you really think the person receiving this info is really going to invest their heart and time into you? Why would anyone invest in someone who’s only giving a certain percentage of their time and feelings?

Bluz ~ I saw an interesting license plate with your moniker so I played it on Cash 4. I’ll let you know the results (lol).

Randyt (storm brewing...)

June 14th, 2012
9:14 am

Hi ITL, hey to the one formerly known as m-e-l-0.

Wish I was in London…about 6 hrs north of there in the Lakes district. Pretty but I have been here a number of times. ;-)

czBrat

June 14th, 2012
9:23 am

HiYas!

i get the concept of juggling dates, but it’s never been my style.
i guess the best advice is simply to be up front with what you’re looking for and how you’re going about it. i guess.

hoping today is a quiet day in this office. i’ll check back round for the topic shift.

leggs, last night convo went something like this:
s: you know i’m not good at planning too far ahead when it comes to myself.
t: i know. next time just stay outta my way.
s: ok.
:lol: we’re good though. finalized the last detail and invites this morning. the deep sea fishing getaway is on!

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
9:25 am

Morning…

You can’t ever get to know a person juggling…you just can’t because really you don’t have to. I don’t have too much on topic aside from that…lol

Look at Elijah trying to come strong this morning. Alright nah…lol And thank you for the compliment :)

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
9:26 am

:lol: :lol: That’s good, czB. Seems like the point has finally stuck!

disco

June 14th, 2012
9:28 am

good morning. I can see both sides of the coin on the juggling thing. the pros and cons. guess it all boils down to what you want. it’s all good if you know what you want. it can go horribly wrong if you are just out there without a plan kissing all the frogs you can find hoping one of them turns into a prince.

leggs – a friend of mine hit numbers twice this week for a total of like $1400. I know it’s not powerball money but it’s not a bad little haul.

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
9:29 am

Elijah – I was also Mr. L-u-r-k-e-r-007 and a few others Not Alvin who is Demi…

Do tell, what were your other blog names? We apparently didn’t know about that.

Elijah – From all you previous blog names I know your style, it does not matter you are the best!

I’ve only had one other blog name and that was “it’s me l@rker”…no more than that

Elijah – Yea!

Still not quite right…it’s “Yeah”

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
9:35 am

I’ve been in somewhat of a dryspell, disco. I managed to hit 3 numbers of MegaMillions on Tuesday, but that haul was only $7.00 (uugh). I did win $30 on 10X The Money Scratch off. Fantasy Five has only yield me free tickets.

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
9:37 am

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR REAL. Don’t let your infamous ZZZZZIIIIIPPPP tap too many willing participants (lol).

Bluzgirl

June 14th, 2012
9:41 am

Leggs…Awesome!!! I hope you win some money. If you win big bucks, hope you’ll share! LOL!!!

I really don’t have anything on this topic because I haven’t experienced this…yet.

Single and Happy

June 14th, 2012
9:44 am

nothing wrong with multi dating, as long as you are honest. That’s why they call it dating not marriage. If you listen with your brain, it’s not hard to weed out the psychos, red flags can be flying all over the place but some people don’t see them because they want to be with somebody.

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
9:47 am

@Bluz ~ I told one blogger not to secure a safety deposit box and put inside an email I sent her saying I would help with something if I ever struck it big…my word is my bond…we both cracked up!

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
9:53 am

Just checked my Powerball tix. I got 3 numbers right. Anyone know what that winning is (another free tix?)

disco

June 14th, 2012
9:53 am

leggs – and I won’t win because I don’t play. I took my car in for service the other day and the tag number they hung was 7725. my mom was with me and she was like “that’s a good number to play especially with those double digits”. I was like “mm hmm. whatever”. the very next drawing 725 came out straight. my mom was hot. I was like well you would have played pick 4 anyway but she insists she also would have played pick 3. again, I’m like “mm hmm. whatever”.

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
10:02 am

Highly possible with the pick 3. Because although dbl digits,many would look at the 77 as one number for pick 3.

Leggs

June 14th, 2012
10:08 am

Do you find it difficult to juggle dates and focus on getting to more than one person at a time? – Getting to more than one person at a time sounds whorish, scandalous and deceitful (lol).

abc

June 14th, 2012
10:10 am

If I was dating a date-juggling chick, she’d immediately have one less to juggle. Not into that.

Mike P

June 14th, 2012
10:11 am

Morning!

I don’t believe I have to say this, but………

1). If the women you’re dating is seeing others while dating you; then she’s not your date. There’s a more appropriate term for this woman.

2). You can only date one person at a time; if you’re seeing others, then you’re just playing the field.

3). If a women were to date others while I am with her and I find out, she’ll get dumped. Since I don’t commit (invest) emotionally, until after way after, I have had no problem doing this.

4). I don’t believe a woman can truly submit to her man if she’s dating multiply people. Nor can learn the art of submission with that special person.

kimmie

June 14th, 2012
10:13 am

Morning All!

So you decided to slink back in Elijah. At least you got the balls to not run in your hole & hide. Gotta give you props for that at least. As for you busting my chops as L-ur-ker, best believe I didn’t lose an ounce of sleep over some weirdo blogger, but hey, whatever makes you happy!LOL!! Would be cool to here from some of the ole heads though, I agree!

Topic – Okay, whatever floats your boat. If you sink, it’s on you that you let too many in the boat at one time that it capsized. :)

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
10:16 am

I agree with those saying it’s just not a good thing to do. Yes, it’s “just dating” but still and even so…and for me, it’s about being honest and doing things with integrity. Yes if you tell the person you’re seeing multiple people it’s on them at that point. Still I don’t see how you divide your heart among several…but again, I guess that’s why it’s call dating.

On the flip side and in the defense of “dating”, meaning free to see whomever, I can see feeling things out with more than one. However if it’s no game playing, I can also see dwindling down to the one you feel the most connected but IMO that’s eventual. If you never have one that edges out ahead of the pack, then IMO your intent is to keep right on juggling. I just don’t see how you can have a high level of “like” for several. It’s just natural to sort of come to hanging on to that one and only. But that’s just me though

Bluzgirl

June 14th, 2012
10:37 am

I guess I don’t understand what is so wrong with juggling. Not that I’ve had the opportunity to do that yet, but how do you really know who you are right with if you don’t “play the field?” Now, I definitely do not agree with sleeping with multiple partners. But…dating is different. You should date until you decide that person is worth more. You gotta find out who is the right one…Just my opinion

disco

June 14th, 2012
10:38 am

okay, looks like it’s already slowed down a bit. so I’m reading the newspaper (Cleveland) and there is a story of a son who poisoned his father by pouring visine in his milk and a story of an ex-girlfriend who tossed gas on and attempted to set the new girlfriend on fire. dude had broken up with the woman more than a year before. folks are off.

kimmie

June 14th, 2012
10:40 am

Celisea – I think purely dating more than one can have it’s place. Like I don’t think kids in high school should be getting too serious with just one. Hang out and have fun and keep things light. The same goes for early college. Don’t latch on hard to the first one that comes along. You’ve got your life ahead of you and you’ve got options. If you meet that special one that knocks your socks off, then this won’t apply to you! You won’t be a multi-dater! If you’re older and just getting out of a serious relationship or divorce, it might be best to play it cool for awhile and keep things light, almost platonic.

To me, things get dicey when they start getting physical. When you start swapping spit and other things, then that’s when seeing multiples isn’t cool. That I’ve never been able to handle.

Mike P

June 14th, 2012
10:40 am

The order of things in Mike’s World…

1). Initial Meet/Introductions/Contact Exchange (This is where seduction/attraction starts)
2). Hangouts/Group Meets/Coffee.
3). Communication Intensive Sessions (TM)
4). First Date (This is where you decide to drop all others “OR” drop him/her “AND” KIM)
5). Exclusive Dating (Dating nature only exist if its just the two of you, else you’re living in a fallacy).
6). Progressing successfully???
7). Submission/Commitment – You submit and I’ll commit, incrementally, in equal degrees.
8). Relationship status = title of Notability – Boyfriend and girlfriend
9). Marriage.

Sex was left out intentionally as that’s a definite given Lol

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
10:44 am

U in continental Europe Randy?

kimmie

June 14th, 2012
10:46 am

but how do you really know who you are right with if you don’t “play the field?”

Bluz – The only answer I would have to that question is this: If you’re with someone and your inclination is to “see others to see if it’s right”, you have your answer. When that person is right for you, you don’t have the desire to see other people to “find out”. I’m not just speaking for myself. I’ve never heard anyone talk about being in love and serious about a person, but still feel they have to test the waters “just to make sure”. That’s kinda high school mentality if you ask me.

SlimUno

June 14th, 2012
10:53 am

Goooood morning peeps,

I’m on my third day of insomnia so i’m feeling a bit ‘dazed’ at the moment.

Bluzgirl

June 14th, 2012
10:53 am

Kimmie…I can see that point of view. I guess for me, I haven’t really dated much. I’ve gone straight into relationships and they haven’t worked out too well! At this point in my life, I am ready to settle down, but feel like I’d want to try a few different men until the right one hits me! You know? I don’t want to waste anymore years on the wrong one!

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
10:54 am

Mike.. Where does sex come in in ur world??

Using your list I am NOT committing to (4) unless I liked the sex or there is potential that she is good at grasping the sex part and being a follower.

In order not to waste time and money,at 1:5 on your list we need to have compromised each other already! :lol:

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
10:57 am

Kimmie – That’s why I said in defense of “dating”… I honestly don’t think you’ll know in just one whop. I too think it’s fair if a couple of folks approach to give both a chance. I think having a couple of conversations maybe over coffee or dinner to feel things out. Once though you know you have a stronger connection and compatibility to one over the other, I think it starts getting hairy and tips over into being selfish if you keep it going with more than one. Especially since the person don’t know you’re seeing several. I agree to that getting intimate with several is an explosion waiting to happen. Too it’s just nasty.

I also agree that kids don’t need to get wrapped too tight with just one. That’s a disaster especially for girls. I believe anything done with the right intentions can only lead you on down or into a right path. Trying to be scandalous speaks to folks keeping secrets, rotations, juggling.

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
10:59 am

Hanging off MMeelloo’s 10:44 to Randyt and for Randyt, I didn’t realize the show Cheaters still aired. I didn’t realize over in England. Whodda thunk it…lol

disco

June 14th, 2012
11:01 am

kimmie – I understand and agree with your logic. the thing is some folks (male and female) are the types that are always in love. heck, they think everyone is THE ONE. idiots. lol. I have one friend that I swear is in love with every single guy she’s in contact with. I don’t understand it but I guess she’s the “in love with love” type.

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
11:09 am

Disco ur friend p-dsy loves D_ck she ain’t in love!

kimmie

June 14th, 2012
11:10 am

Celisea – Totally agree.

disco – I know the type!

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
11:12 am

I had never gone to Loca Luna before yesterday…..LOVE the spot :)

disco

June 14th, 2012
11:12 am

ex – nope. I’ve got friends who love the D, ain’t ashamed to admit it and ain’t ashamed to go git it. they ain’t screaming love all the time. they are out to get theirs. this other chick, she’s caught up – and in love – each and every time. I think it’s a personality/character flaw trait.

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
11:18 am

Got it..Disco!

For a moment I thought u were going PC there..glad coz that ain’t u.

More power to D seekers! As long as they don’t charge $$!

disco

June 14th, 2012
11:22 am

Ex – re D seekers and charging money. friend one is fond of saying “puddy ain’t free”. the second is quick to say “I don’t mind eff-ing but…”. in short, they are out to get theirs in more ways than one. am I mad at them? nope. am I judging them? nope. it is what it is.

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
11:26 am

When I first moved out I stay with a friend for 2 months during the time of an apartment (in the same complex) becoming available and then being prepared for me to move in. A third person wanted to move in because she was having issues with her husband (that’s a whole ‘nother issue). Well the third person had no problem once she split from her husband setting up dates with married men. I mean “several” and most weeknights/weekends. I don’t know if her issue was love, sex or getting back at the husband. She had no issues outright saying, if they’re gonna see me as a ho, then pay me like one. She would say I just ask them to put the money on the stand before we take it there. That was wild to me. There was also an orgy…two chicks and six dudes. Like I said two months top…lol I was out of there! My kid’s dad HATED I stayed that long. In his words, aye man you gon’ have to get up out of there with them ho’s…lol

Exiled!

June 14th, 2012
11:28 am

I woke up with a headache….need some diversion.

Disco..men don’t mind spending on a chic..electric bill car rep etc if the chic is good,gives it up but doesn’t peddle to multiple players…re your friends.

The moment you(lady) have a rotation financing that,watch out…worse if ur p_udy is top notch! :lol:

We are on topic Disco…apparently!

Celisea

June 14th, 2012
11:30 am

MMeello – I’m struggling with a headache as well. I gave my last two pills to someone about a week ago. I’ve just procrastinated on picking up more. Now I’m kicking myself