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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Creepy friend or girlfriend test?

Hello everyone! You are all becoming the go to crew for dating advice, apparently. I have received a few emails asking for your opinion. So here is a dilemma with which I am happy to say that I have no experience. Weigh in and give your best advice and share your experiences:

One of our readers has been seeing a guy who is pretty close to his boys. They are all like brothers, having grown up on the same block and are basically best friends. One of the friends made a play for her. A real, in your face, no ambiguity at all – kind of play. He sought her out at her gym, struck up a conversation, and basically said some wildly inappropriate things about her body. Then he asked for her phone number.

She thinks that her man has friends that are protective of him and want to test her character. A girlfriend test if you will..to see how she would handle the situation. Obviously she turned him down flat, but she wonders if she should bring it up to her guy.

If it turns out that it was indeed a girlfriend test – sanctioned by her guy, should she be offended? If it is not a test, should she tell her guy about his friend’s behavior? Should you avoid this particular friend or try to address it since they will have to all be around one another?

I am curious, do men test their women like this often? Are there certain situations that men want to know how you will handle to see what kind of woman you are when he is not around?

What would you do if you found out someone you are dating had been conducting little “character tests” on you?

130 comments Add your comment

Lily

June 7th, 2012
6:52 am

Oh my, my first thought before I finished reading the entire post was….”it’s a set up” If it was me, honestly I might be offended. Depending upon how much I liked him would determine which way is go. If I wanted it to work and knowing I’m getting tested, I would severely “check him”, let him know just how much I don’t appreciate his approach, tell him I’m telling (lol), and tell my potential new guy exactly what happened…..as if I was oblivious to the entire situation. Now, if I was totally offended…too offended to move forward, I would KIM.

I don’t really get this test. It has a hint of game playing stamped on it. From that perspective I don’t really think it’s fair to her. Why can’t they both go in, equally taking a chance on one another? From that perspective I would be offended.

Single and Happy

June 7th, 2012
7:27 am

no MEN don’t test their girlfriends like that, little boys do, that’s just playing games! As far as being around him, if she doesn’t feel comfortable she doesn’t have to be around him, that’s his friend not hers. And when the situation comes up and he ask why, tell him. If that happened to me as a man, it would be the first red flag that’s it’s time to move on to the next one.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

June 7th, 2012
8:07 am

Guys don’t do that isht (men or boys), there’s a code.

Cats like that get ‘x’ out of the crew for dirty d!@king plain.and.simple.

I had a friend that tried my cut buddy, and failed. Where he lost was she told me before him (like literally hours). I respected the fact that he told me, but I still gave him the bidness about the issue…and laughed.

Dudes that do this kinda stuff – and there are (they’re just not ‘friends’) – are lame to deaf. And stay getting lamed about it.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

June 7th, 2012
8:08 am

If it turns out ole boy knew, she should walk away with the knowledge of dodging a bullet.

Morning

Celisea....blogging from my bedside :)

June 7th, 2012
8:22 am

Shenanigans I tell ya!

I’m watching GMA and there’s a dude that’s lost 200 pounds and looking fantab! He even lost enough to have the surgery for removing that excess skin. His fiance wasn’t supportive during his transition so he left her. I bet she’s kicking herself now. He’s 50 and looking hot and has a new fiance :) Goooo Tony!!

Okay, I’m a bit delirious…haven’t had coffee yet…lol

Morning folks!

Celisea....blogging from my bedside :)

June 7th, 2012
8:24 am

He lost the weight through Extreme Makever Weight Loss Edition

I think the chick in today’s topic should move it along. I can see a bunch of “boys” playing this sort of game. A man ready to make a move does it alone and is willing to take chances in learning about his woman.

Shenanigans (again) I tell ya!

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
8:24 am

Good morning all,

I don’t see how she would ever know it was a mutual setup between the potential bf and his buddy unless he actually is stupid enough to admit it. I’ve had a friend of someone I was dating try me but I checked his ass and kept it moving. I didn’t feel a need to go back and tell the guy anything. Now had buddy tried me again, then I would’ve made mention to the guy about it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
8:28 am

I have friends and none of them have permission to check my girl for me. Lacking confidence to handle your situation independently is a sign of weakness. Gamers should leave dating to men that are secure. I’ve read a dude use the phrase my boys on this blog, and I thought of days in high school and there’s where that mentality lies.

Good Morning:

Celisea....blogging from my bedside :)

June 7th, 2012
8:28 am

If a dude approached me that was a friend of my new boyfriend, that would DEFINITELY throw up red flags. My first thought would be this has gotta be a setup. What friend of a boyfriend is that crass? Loose lips sanks ships….I’d be bumping my gums and getting my stuff to go…lol

Celisea....blogging from my bedside :)

June 7th, 2012
8:33 am

If any of you have a LinkedIn profile CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD. That network has been compromised by hackers. I heard on the local news this morning and then GMA. CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS ASAP!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
8:37 am

Cely it must be nice to be in your shoes today.

disco

June 7th, 2012
8:47 am

good morning. since you all have already determined that the guys are playing games I’ll talk about the dingbat chick who really feels she needs advice for this situation. really? dude who hollered would have been told to get up out of my face with that foolishness. the so called soon to be ex-boyfriend would have been told to check his friends. ALL OF THEM. every single one of them because I would not have a repeat of those busters all up in my face.

Elijah

June 7th, 2012
8:51 am

Good Morning!

That sista needs to express to the guy she is dating about what happened. If he states it was a set-up time to K.I.M. that is immaturity at its highest level. Both men and women need to tell the SO if this happen. No true friend would do this.

Celis, celis,Celis ummm ummm good!

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
8:53 am

To me, that is just trifling trying to holla at someone one of your GOOD FRIENDS are already talking to. Are there no boundaries?

disco

June 7th, 2012
9:03 am

I don’t know if any of you ever read makes me wanna holler by nate mccall but in the book (which is essentially a memoir) he writes how he and his friends consistently ran trains on neighborhood girls during their teen years. I’m sure it’s a stretch on my part but if this group of guys goes back that far there is a chance that they’ve passed around a chick or two or three in their day. who knows? maybe this woman has some kind of history and dude was trying to see if she’s been truly reformed. or, here’s another theory – maybe boyfriend isn’t feeling her but he’s one of those types who doesn’t want to be the “bad guy” and break up with her. it’s a ploy to get her to break up with him.

Robert

June 7th, 2012
9:04 am

“They are all like brothers, having grown up on the same block and are basically best friends.”

Robert Rules of Dating – Top 10

Never let your friends -

1. Talk to your woman alone.
2. Come over your house when you are not home.
3. Have your woman’s phone number.
4. Contact your woman on facebook.
5. Dance with your woman at a party/club.
6. Spend the night at your house.
7. Go to Church with your woman.
8. Go to the Mall with your woman.
9. Go to the movies with your woman.
10. Do not bring your woman around me. Your friend.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

June 7th, 2012
9:10 am

What?

Never let your friend talk to your woman alone? What?The?H3ll?

Dude, you might as well put her in chains (2CHAAAAIINNNZZZ) in the basement bruh.

Fact is, if you’re lucky, your woman gets hit on at least 3 times a day. If you can’t trust her, you don’t need her.

disco

June 7th, 2012
9:15 am

dan – re if you can’t trust her you don’t need her. and the same thing goes for your friends. personally, I think you should want your mate and friends to like one another and get along well. I know too many people who feel torn when friends/family don’t like or get along with their significant other. granted whether or not they like your SO shouldn’t make or break the relationship but it helps if everyone is at least amicable.

Elijah

June 7th, 2012
9:18 am

We have to be careful with putting added meaning/definitions to words use to describe a friendship. Some people are just part of the crew, out of that crew one or two of those friends will be your best friends.

That is why I do not understand Fraternities and Sororities. If you pledge to be part of that group should you not have the respect to not hit-on you frat or soro mate?

@Disco I read that book, that is always a possbility, someone may have heard something about the lady.
This situation reeks of dude just may want to get out of the relationship.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
9:19 am

I agree, that list is a bit much. I mean, would she not even be able to talk to male neighbors in passing either, the mail man, buggy boy, male store manager, have female doctors only, none of the fathers of your kids’ friends?!!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
9:33 am

Good morning. I have my energy back….woo hoo!

Having read comments yet, I say she should tell him IMMEDIATELY. Test or no test, certain things a woman can nip in the bud on her own and certain things she needs to let her man know. He approaching her and saying inappropriate things about her body and asking for her phone number should be told to her man. He has disrespected her, his boy and has shown he don’t mind back dooring a supposedly good friend.

lolalee

June 7th, 2012
9:34 am

Robert man you got issues. Hyper controlling are you? Want to put a gag on your woman so she doesn’t talk to anybody? Seriously? I’d run from you in a minute. Clearly you don’t trust your woman if you feel the need to lock her down. Controlling Azz Mutha.

lolalee

June 7th, 2012
9:35 am

Leggs i’m with you. I’d speak right up and let him know that’s no friend of his. If he keeps that dude around, then I know what I need to know about him and I’m out.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
9:40 am

Celisea ~ the guy who lost 200 lbs story was featured on Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss this past Sunday. His then fiance was lazy, and basically tried to sabotage his weight loss regime because it took time away that he would have spent with her. The trainer even came into their home and remodeled it with equipment to assist in both their workouts. She whined and whined. She made herself look really bad on national tv. The guy moved out and the trainer had to remove all he put in their home. Tony (I think is his name) wound up homeless and living out of his car in the parking lot of the gym where he worked out. During him being homeless, he met a new woman. She supported him and he stayed on his grind. Now, he’s on GMA with his story, his new woman and Leslie, the other woman, is sitting at hown biting herself!!! Good for her.

Back to regularly scheduled topic.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
9:43 am

Also, he proposed to his new girlfriend during the show. You may know, but his weightloss was 365 days in the making. He ended one relationship, started another, lost weight and is now getting married!

i'm swiss

June 7th, 2012
9:54 am

Morning folks.

I’m with Leggs. She should definitely tell the boyfriend. I’d want to know if I were him, that’s for d@mn sure. And if it turns out it was a test, then he’s a punk.

Celisea

June 7th, 2012
9:55 am

Blackfoote – I’m just chilling….headed out for a minute :)

Leggs – That story was really refreshing. Thats what the old gf gets…ha!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

June 7th, 2012
9:56 am

Here’s the thing though about telling the ‘boyfriend’, she should just make it a fact based statement (what was said, when, where and her response).

Telling him in an accusatory fashion (’is this some kinda game you and yo folks play’) will.not.end.well.

i'm swiss

June 7th, 2012
10:01 am

Dan — Good point. That should go without saying, but you never know… lol

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
10:02 am

Dan, will admit that is the key. A grown woman wouldn’t say it in an accusatory tone. No need for HER to incite discord and influence his reaction. All she need to do is recount how it occurred and leave it to him handle. If he shrugs it off, there’s now another issue at hand.

Roberta Higginbotham

June 7th, 2012
10:03 am

It takes a peculiar kind of insecurity for one to “test” a relationship by doing something like this. Yes, the girl should tell the guy what happened without asking him if he set it up, and see what his reaction is. At the very least, one of the following should result:

- If he did set it up, try to determine the root cause of his insecurity. His behavior could portend future behavior, which could make for an unstable, or even dangerous, relationship.

- If he didn’t set it up, he needs to realize that his friend who made the come-on isn’t a friend, and is a person with no personal boundaries who has little or no respect for others.

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
10:04 am

I’d speak right up and let him know that’s no friend of his. If he keeps that dude around, then I know what I need to know about him and I’m out.
well, that sums it up nicely for me.

HiYas! MissYas :sad:
increased work load is making me rethink my career path.
but that’s just the brat in me talking.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

June 7th, 2012
10:06 am

She’en got nothing to do with the other end of that.

That’s entirely on him – state the facts, and watch his response; no other comments necessary.

abc

June 7th, 2012
10:08 am

She should follow her own conscience no matter what she thinks about whether the approach is a coordinated setup to test her. If she has reason to believe it’s a test, she should probably bring that up with boyfriend, because it’s a pretty underhanded and control-freak kind of thing to do. She should also consider that not only would boyfriend want to know, but he’ll probably go kick some azz over it, and likely wind up in jail.

Sassy Me...Ooooh and I like it :-)

June 7th, 2012
10:11 am

Dudes like that are whack…boys play those type of games. She should tell her man what happened, blow by blow, but what I’m glad about is the fact that she shut ole boy down like a paper plane…

There are some men who may become jealous b/c on of their friends have a nice woman and they decide they want her,too…that’s not a good friend and need not be in the circle…he should be a non-muthaf@#$ing factor..

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
10:12 am

“She’en got nothing to do with the other end of that” – Who said she did??

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
10:15 am

try to determine the root cause of his insecurity
commendable, but ultimately not my prob.
fix your sh!t before you come knocking on my door.
believe me, if my sh!t ain’t right,
i have the common courtesy to not let you in.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

June 7th, 2012
10:16 am

@Leggs

The person making the statement about “I’d speak right up”. Nope. That has nothing to do with her beyond that inappropriate contact.

Tiff

June 7th, 2012
10:20 am

Good topic!

I am dating a man (8 months) whose last girlfriend ended up marrying one of his friends. Needless to say he has issues. I have met his family, but not his friends. My question is how can I grow the trust? I would never do that.

Gotta go backto work, soI’m going to lurk,listen and learn.

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
10:25 am

Morning All!!

Interesting. I’m with disco in that why is this even a dilemma for the chick. But, here’s my opinion on it: Yes, agree with Leggs and Dan on this – just tell dude the facts and let him take it from there.

See, again, why is this a dilemma? I like a man to be normal and have friends, like I do. What I don’t like is dudes that have this super-tight frat mentality. Who gives a sh– if they are “best friends”? Why should that friendship be so intimidating to her that she’s nervous about letting her man know dude disrespected her and tried to push up on her? I would have checked his behind with the quickness, loudly, and probably called boyfriend on the spot right there in his presence, that’s how gangster I would have been about it. No joke.

Sassy, you are so right, a lot of dudes get jealous when a guy in their crew meets a nice woman and seems to be moving on from the frat. I’ve seen it in action with guys my brothers have dealt with and other male friends I have. A mature man is able to have a successful relationship with a woman without letting his friendship with his “boys” interfere.

As for the whole testing thing, I would dump him on the sheer stupidity that he let me find out he did it alone, much less the actual immature act of it!

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
10:30 am

Oh, and crazy Robert, reading is fundamental. The so-called “friend” actively SOUGHT her out, going to the gym she went to, practically stalking HER. Unless it was a setup, boyfriend did not “allow” dude to talk to her alone. He was in hot pursuit!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
10:43 am

Ok, Dan, then let’s agree to disagree because you cannot tell me that if someone hit on your wife, asked for her phone number, whenever in her presence subtly throw innuendos her way you wouldn’t want to know about it.

disco

June 7th, 2012
10:43 am

ooh kimmie – speaking of hot pursuit and since the topic is kind of fading. how come I was out in Tennessee over the weekend and laid eyes on something that I decided I would regret if I went away without speaking to him. he was with a friend that was trying to talk me to death but that I kept shooting down. I sat patiently waiting on dude to say something, anything. he said nothing and eventually went away. at that point I went in to scheme mode. lol. I’ll fast forward through all of my subsequent actions and thought processes and end the story by saying that we literally sat and talked for about an hour and a half in a corner of a crowded club. I later joked that I got my “stalker” on. I would not be denied. lol.

Robert

June 7th, 2012
10:45 am

@lolalee – No ATL “Bama” can carry my jock strap. I do not need to hang around a bunch of men claiming to be my friend. I have noticed in ATL men like to hangout together (strip clubs, downlow, etc.). I was at a club last month that had plenty of lovely women. I was shocked to see most of the men standing around the walls while all the women got-up and danced by themselfs. ATL has a lot of “Bama’s” who are perpetrators dressed like fake gangsters (baseball caps, blue jeans and sneakers) in a club full of beautiful women. All clubs should have a dress code and minimum age requirement.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
10:49 am

“ATL has a lot of “Bama’s” who are perpetrators dressed like fake gangsters ” – Funny!

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
10:59 am

disco – Go on with your bad self!! I love it!!LOL!!

baseball caps, blue jeans and sneakers – Here we go again. Sigh…….

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
11:01 am

Leggs – When was the last time you saw a gangster, fake or otherwise, dressed in a baseball cap, jeans & sneaks? A rapper maybe.

Maybe I’ve watched too many mafia movies!LOL!!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

June 7th, 2012
11:01 am

@leggs

If you’re referring to a ‘friend’ hitting on my wife, then all she has to do is tell me.

My response in handling it is none of her concern. She doesn’t need a comment about my ‘friend’, our ‘friendship’, or what she would do in that situation. That’s mine to deal with.

Likewise, if the roles were reversed, there’s not a lot for me to say/suggest once she has the info.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
11:04 am

kimmie ~ I didn’t even picture the baseball caps or anything. Fake BAMA gansters always remind me of Zoot Suits….

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
11:06 am

Oh here we go with the “Bama” talk again. Annnnnnnnnnd moving on :roll:

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
11:06 am

Dan ~ that’s all I am saying is to tell you. How you handle it is indeed on you.

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
11:16 am

Leggs – Exactly, I’m thinking zoots & fedora’s, not baseball caps & jeans!

Slim – Yeah, the Bama mess is always pretty lame, especially coming from “crazy obsessed with baseball caps, jeans & sneaks”!

Robert

June 7th, 2012
11:16 am

@Leggs – You can find “Fake BAMA gangsters” all over ATL. It is a culture that exist in the deep, deep South (GA,FL,AL,MISS, etc.). You can still see men dressed in Zoot Suits, Suits with loud colors (lime green, yellow, white, purple, pink, etc.) with matching shoes and hats. We call these “Bama’s” clowns, and country.

disco

June 7th, 2012
11:23 am

robert – and every now and again a brother with a real flair for style can wear something “bama-ish” and look so fly in it that others rush to do the same. my mother wore a bright green linen suit to my son’s graduation. my mom is very dark and that green looked very good on her. folks were complimenting her all day and all night because mom’s got her party on. I was almost hating because my mom was getting the props.

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
11:23 am

Robert – Funny, that’s how a lot dudes dress in Detroit. When I went on a cruise with my husband a few years ago, a dude was trying to hit on me wearing a sherbert-colored zoot suit and shoes to match. We nicknamed him Dreamsicle. A coworker of my husband was on the cruise with her family and she’s from Detroit. She said that’s how a lot of those brothers dress up there. Not just a deep South thing.

So let me get this straight – first you said the dudes in the club were dressed in baseball caps, jeans & sneakers. You were saying there should be a dress code at the clubs. Now your saying the wannabee gangsters, this “culture” of men, dress in zoot suits. While certainly “different-looking”, if the men in the clubs are wearing a suit, zoot or otherwise, wouldn’t that be more proper attire than baseball caps, jeans & sneakers? :shock:

disco

June 7th, 2012
11:29 am

where’s Elijah? we need him to come on and request a pic of robert. lol.

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
11:30 am

disco – Yeah, that I would love to see! I bet he’s a REAL gangster, not a FAKE one too!LOL!!!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
11:36 am

Robert, I am aware you can find fake “BAMAs” all over the ATL. Not a term I used, but thanks for this geography tidbit.

disco

June 7th, 2012
11:42 am

kimmie – or a real bama. lol.

Elijah

June 7th, 2012
11:59 am

Disco at your service…. You know u want to send me that pic….

@Kimmie-Detroit is zoot suite and gator capitol of the world….

Robert what is your opinion about how the women dress in the south?

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
12:23 pm

O/T Ok so i’m reading the various articles about athletes in arrears on child support. I did not realize that Evander Holyfield has 12 kids by 6 different women!!!!! :shock: That just does not make any sense to me. It seems that these entertainers and athletes would either get snipped or wear 2 condoms per session as to not end up with a baseball team of kids and high child support costs

disco

June 7th, 2012
12:24 pm

slim – speaking of athletes and financial problems. one of the radio hosts was talking about an upcoming espn series/special called “broke” re athletes who end up bankrupt or in dire financial straights. someone on the show joked that it needed to be a mini series or a documentary.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
12:26 pm

disco – I think I heard part of that right before I got out of the car…I’d really like to know what they spend a bulk of their money on. I’d definitely watch that show

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
12:30 pm

disco – I saw an ad for that show. Andre Rison is going to be on it. I’m checking it out.

Slim – I saw the title of an article talking about Evander being behind on the child support. I didn’t even read it cause I said to myself “what’s new”?

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
12:33 pm

Elijah – No, since Robert goes around looking down his nose at folks and calling them bama & country (yet he lives here), what I’d like to know is why he was at such a ghetto club (one where the patrons don’t know how to dress, according to him). I mean, sounds like he’d like to be somewhere a little more high-brow!LOL!!!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
12:37 pm

If they’re anything like that dumb song “I got a condo on my neck” (something like that), we can see how the squander their money. A lot of it is greed, hanger ons, greed, groupies getting them snared in their web, too many cars, too many houses, making it rain when they should have been doing a slow drizzle.

disco

June 7th, 2012
12:40 pm

leggs – I happen to like that little song (even though i don’t understand about half of what’s being said). “cashing out”.

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
12:45 pm

Leggs – I agree with all of what you said. A lot too is not understanding how to manage their own money so they have to depend on others to do it that don’t have their best interests at heart. I mean, they don’t have to have an MBA in finance, but alot don’t know the bare bones basics. A lot of that comes from being brought up with parents that didn’t know how to handle money and save for a rainy day. Its how the poor stay poor and the used to be poor back poor again.

I’m so tired of seeing and hearing about our people, especially our men, in these types of predicaments!

disco

June 7th, 2012
12:53 pm

leggs – you know I just sat here and flashed back on that old song “hood rich”. I used to like that one too. can’t pull up the lyrics here. it’s blocked but that’s the one that said “can’t pay my rent cause all my money’s spent – got every thang in my momma’s name – got a quarter tank of gas in my new E class”. that song tickled me because as ignorant as it was it was nothing but the truth.

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
12:58 pm

disco – Sadly it is the truth. Misplaced priorities. Some older folks call it “not used to anything”.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
1:00 pm

I have a condo on my wrist, i’m cashing out. :lol:

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
1:02 pm

disco ~ I pulled up the lyrics to that song, but too ashamed to post them here (lol). Man o man!

kimmie

June 7th, 2012
1:03 pm

I’m ridin’ round and I’m gettin’
I’m ridin’ round and I’m gettin’
I’m ridin’ round and I’m gettin’
It’s mine
I’m spendin!!!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
1:04 pm

A condo on your wrist, neck, grill is ok if you in fact have a condo you can sleep at and able to effortlessly pay the morgage. If not, pawn that bad boy!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
1:06 pm

O/T, I’m reading yesterday’s blog because I left at a time when things were about to go left and get even more comical. You guys were straight clowning yesterday. How refreshing!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
1:09 pm

BF ~ I am in tears reading your story about the drunk girl in the park lot. I have to wipe my ears I’m tearing up with laughter. All the while she’s searching for some phatonm Michael.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
1:16 pm

Elijah ~ yes sir, I have blue pill issues! Older men, blue pill, diabeties medication, gout medication, HBP medication, hard, hard stroking makes me think one is going to have a heart attack…the thought scares me to not even going to try it with them. I don’t want no older man passing the fugg out on me due to all that medicine in his body then his heart start racing, because we will be doing more than galloping. It’s a scary thought.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
1:23 pm

My song would be more like, “I got a roll of quarters on my wrist and i’m cashing out” lol

Leggs – Your 1:16 reminds me of The Color Purple when they asked the girl married to Celie’s dad, “Well, how did he die?” Girl says, “on toppa me” :lol:

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
1:30 pm

O/T: Almost broke our safety record here at work. Walking downstairs I lost my footing and nearly feel down the entire flight. Thank goodness a guy was walking up, grabbed me stopped my fall. Unfortuanately, my heel broke…UUGGH!

Robert

June 7th, 2012
1:32 pm

@Elijah – “what is your opinion about how the women dress in the south?”

I love a naturally beautiful woman who carry’s herself with an air of confidence and sex appeal. It does not matter where she lives (North, South, East, West). I hate to see young women dress like “slutts” (fake eyelashes, hair weaves, tatoo’s, etc.). I hate to see older women try to dress and act like younger women. I find both of these kind of women very “unattractive” regardless of where they live. How about you? Would you date these types of women?

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
1:35 pm

Leggs – Dang chica, are you okay? Do you have some flats or something in your car to hold you over until the end of the day?

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
1:41 pm

I don’t. Have to run and get some “these will do for now” shoes.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
1:57 pm

________________________

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
2:16 pm

This is one draggin ass day *sigh*

disco

June 7th, 2012
2:26 pm

leggs – watch your step. when dude caught you did you swoon, bat your eyelashes and go “my hero”?

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
2:35 pm

back. briefly.

oopsy leggs. careful now!

is there no longer a topic on the table? or are we talking women’s fashions and how they mark you as “undateable”?

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
2:37 pm

disco ~didn’t swoon, but while falling my wallet hit him in the crotch. I swear it was a mistake. I knew he was embarrassed and so was I. Neither of us said anything. He’s a shy type person anyway so I thanked him and hobbled down the rest of the flight.

I found an inexpensive pair to cover this evening.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
2:41 pm

Leggs I didn’t know at the time but the lady was married. After she dropped me off I never saw her again. It ran across my mind for months, a married woman slept in my bed. No no no I’m not playing dangerous games with a married woman. Dudes that play with fire can keep it up if they want until the odds catch up to them.

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
2:41 pm

:shock:
:lol:
still a great story for the step-grands. :wink:

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
2:42 pm

Good grief, what is in those bath salts that this is the reaction? Man, we got the munchies when we got high, but never wanted to much on another person. Well, not their face.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/zombie-apocalypse-louisiana-man-carl-jacquneaux-bites-ex-wife-husband-face-removes-chunk-skin-article-1.1091183

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
2:47 pm

You still did good, BF, like the ladies said. Married or not, calling the cops would have had her in a world of trouble. Now, a married woman slept in your bed, but don’t fret too much since you didn’t sleep beside her.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
2:48 pm

I know if the hubby bust your door down, he wouldn’t even see you on the couch. In his blinding rage, all he would see is his wife in your bed….I gotcha (lol).

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
2:50 pm

Meth is driving folks to do things we couldn’t think of years ago. Governments need to go on and legalize Mary Jane.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
2:55 pm

It’s not even meth, it’s bath salt. Is that in the meth family???

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
2:55 pm

That’s right dude wouldn’t have cared if I was on my own sofa or not, all he would have known was his wife was in my house. Not a good look.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
2:57 pm

I don’t think it is because you can drink bath salt.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
2:57 pm

As a laxative.

Elijah

June 7th, 2012
2:59 pm

@BF I agree we need to legalize the Mary Jane, The Mexican Gold, The Orgonian, right now!

@Leggs- U are funny, u over there causing heart attacks… Go head with your badself. lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
2:59 pm

Good folks have it your way, with plenty of love. Good Day!

Mr. Unknown

June 7th, 2012
2:59 pm

Whats up guys..

If it is not a test, should she tell her guy about his friend’s behavior? Yep, point the snakes out. This sounds more like a friend of a friend rather than a best friend that tried to holla.
Should you avoid this particular friend or try to address it since they will have to all be around one another? First avoid buddy and let your dude handle it. If handled right, buddy would be avoiding you in the future. Also on the same note her guy could be the simp of the crew, no respect given. He is too scary to hold his own nuts and expects you to do the work. Every now and then you have to let out a manroar and claim your territory.

I am curious, do men test their women like this often? Nope! We don’t test women like this at all! For what, mess around and get your feelings hurt when she drop the draws for buddy. lol..Plaxico Burress comes to mind here..

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:00 pm

You can? We’re not talking about your mother’s bath salt now….this is much stronger (apparently).

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
3:00 pm

Elijah sho you right!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:01 pm

Why use it as a laxative. If it has you turning to cannibalism, you think one would try to eat themselves.

Ok, I took a stretch. I’ve regained my footing back into reality.

Sassy Me...Ooooh and I like it :-)

June 7th, 2012
3:01 pm

it’s bath salt. Is that in the meth family???

It’s not actually bath salts..it’s just called that as a slick marketing ploy so it can be sold legally until the FDA bans it. From what I’ve read it’s not exactly in the meth family but has all of the effects of LSD,meth,and other psychedelic drugs COMBINED and is worse than all of them. It’s like meth to the Nth degree…

gotta go brb…

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:07 pm

The Bath Salt stuff is not the stuff you buy in your neigborhood corner store…i think that’s just the street name for it. It’s made with several other ingredients that you have to sort of cook up like you would meth.

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
3:11 pm

First off I would like to apologize that is hard for me to understand sarcasm, not growing up in the city and being a Hick from Ocilla Georgia (about 5 hours south of Atlanta unless you’re a lead foot) you’re really not used to a lot of sarcasm like folks here in the city of Atlanta. When there is no real clear way to tell if someone being serious or joking it can be quite confusing, so I guess I’ll be asking a lot “are you joking or serious” for living here close to 13 years I still have problems with it, I guess you really can’t take the “country” out of a country person just you can’t take the “city” out of a city person.

On topic there are pros and cons to that kind of test. As it shows lack of trust, I would not do that but being a farm boy you can never be too careful with city folk and that is the truff. But a test similar to that would be “if your favorite celebrity pending what gender you are, came to your door butt-naked and said take me now would you honor your SO or husband/wife and resist?” I know that comment is total fiction but loyalty is a commodity these days. So guess I am saying try it at your own risk. Maybe just talking out of my butt again. (shruggs)

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
3:19 pm

well hello there, bad boy. (sarcasm? you figure it out)

the first hubs and i allowed each other one celebrity passes. you know, just in case.
current s/o don’t play that. not even in the land of make-believe.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:21 pm

Merv ~ you do realize some couples say if their SO crush were to appear on their doorsteps they could have free will with them if allowed. Mind you now, most of this is talk because chances are such an encounter would never materialize so the person is “sure if your celebrity crush knocked on door, you’ll have my permision to get buck wild” knowing it’s dime a dozen likely to occur.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:22 pm

To be real about it, folks test their SO’s in all sorts of ways if you really think about it. Not sure if any of you watch that show, Tough Love but he had one show where the lady was left alone in a guys apt while we ‘went to get the delivery from down stairs’. The guys iPad and cell phone was purposely left and of course camera’s were taping to see what the ladies would do. One chick actually went through his ipad…another went through the cell phone. One chick just walked around the apt looking at the various pictures around the house and a Valentines card signed by a female name of course.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:34 pm

See, czB backed me up without realizing she was backing me up (lol).

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:35 pm

SlimUno ~ you must have been absent when some of us discussed that episode of Tough Love (lol).

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:40 pm

Merv – I’ve had that celebrity crush convo numerous times. The current beau likes Zoe Saldana and a few other celebs (too many to name lol)…I like Eldris Alba, Derwin Davis (The Game), and Ryan Gosling :oops: (not all at one time either)

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:44 pm

If I saw Eldris and perceived him to be walking in my direction then some random chick jumps in front of me, I would have to do the only decent thing I know to do and that is trip her as they walk past me!!!

disco

June 7th, 2012
3:45 pm

slim – you like pooch hall? lol. actually I like him too although I’m not feeling this new fangled stank acting derwin. if I was playing “who can hit it” with the cast of the game my money is on Jason pitts (coby bell). that’s actually surprising considering I’m a wee bit color struck.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:59 pm

Leggs – I probably was since I typed all that again. Ooops

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
4:00 pm

i’m still gaga for shemar. and have recently developed a crush on thor.
but s/o still ain’t giving me a pass. :sad:

oh, and no matter what anyone else says, i’m luvin how brad is aging. luvin it!!

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:02 pm

Leggs – Now that is funny…the thought of you tripping me up with your broke heeled shoe :lol: There is something about his Brooklyn English accent :oops:

disco – I’m really don’t find myself attracted to lighter-skinned fellas for some reason so you could have free reign of Coby Bell….just not my cup of tea..or cup of cream lol

i'm swiss

June 7th, 2012
4:05 pm

Most female celebs are too d@mn boney for my taste. Sloane Stephens has a nice little body on her, but she’s barely legal. Then again, technically, barely counts. Lol

disco

June 7th, 2012
4:08 pm

slim – did you not see that I said it was surprising? I’m not a fan of the high yella brothers myself but there’s just something about him/his character that I like. still I guess no one wants poor coby but me. none of my “real-life” friends want him either.

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
4:11 pm

SlimUno well good to know first hand that others have thought or had conversations about celebs like that, I felt odd just posting it. And you’re right everyone tests the person they date at some point, it’s matter of not going too far or it can blow up in your face. (yikes!)

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:19 pm

disco – Yeah I saw where you said it was surprising for you to be digging him. I was only saying I hardly find myself attracted to the lighter types…so my “surprising pick’ is Ryan Goslin lol

And you’re right everyone tests the person they date at some point, it’s matter of not going too far

Merv – My bf always leaves his facebook open on the laptop that I use from time to time when I’m at his place. Or he’ll even enter the code to his phone while sitting right next to me in plain eye-sight. I often wonder if those are some of his ’setups’ lol

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:24 pm

Most female celebs are too d@mn boney for my taste

swiss – Watch it derrrr now…I will take that to mean you are referring to the Angelina Jolie and Olsen Twins skinny type celebs

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
4:27 pm

Many said it’s a punk move for a guy to test a woman. Anybody else thought of the car door test so many of the men on HERE admitted to? Sure a simple test, nonetheless a test.

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
4:27 pm

I likes red-heads period, but my favorite celebs would be Julianne Moore, Alyson Hannigan, Cynthia Nixon, Molly Ringwald oh nom nom nom nom nom (wipes drool from mouth) It would be hard to resist those, but hey a guy can dream :P

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
4:30 pm

i must admit, sometimes i wonder if it’s wise to have most of my regular websites on auto-fill for username and password. not only because s/o has free access to my place when i’m not there, but also because the lap could be stolen.

i have nothing to hide from him so i couldn’t care much less, but it’s probably not the smartest thing i’ve ever done.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:32 pm

Merv – So you have an affinity for pale red heads huh? I must say, they all do have their own unique look. lol

czBrat – Is there a general password needed to at least access your laptop?

disco

June 7th, 2012
4:34 pm

merv – I recently watched chloe and all I could think was how white julianne moore looked. she’s got that dead look like Nicole kidman. those chicks need some sunlight or some jergens natural glow or something. okay – having commented on her pale, she’s easy enough on the eye. have at it my man.

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
4:37 pm

@ slim, nope. :oops:

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:48 pm

I think you can limit auto fill to just usernames and not the password…

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
5:02 pm

Slim- yes they do have their own unique look, call me weird but pale skin and firey red hair is sexy and Nicole Kidman is hot too. Later Gators.