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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Creepy friend or girlfriend test?

Hello everyone! You are all becoming the go to crew for dating advice, apparently. I have received a few emails asking for your opinion. So here is a dilemma with which I am happy to say that I have no experience. Weigh in and give your best advice and share your experiences:

One of our readers has been seeing a guy who is pretty close to his boys. They are all like brothers, having grown up on the same block and are basically best friends. One of the friends made a play for her. A real, in your face, no ambiguity at all – kind of play. He sought her out at her gym, struck up a conversation, and basically said some wildly inappropriate things about her body. Then he asked for her phone number.

She thinks that her man has friends that are protective of him and want to test her character. A girlfriend test if you will..to see how she would handle the situation. Obviously she turned him down flat, but she wonders if she should bring it up to her guy.

If it turns out that it was indeed a girlfriend test – sanctioned by her guy, should she be offended? If it is not a test, should she tell her guy about his friend’s behavior? Should you avoid this particular friend or try to address it since they will have to all be around one another?

I am curious, do men test their women like this often? Are there certain situations that men want to know how you will handle to see what kind of woman you are when he is not around?

What would you do if you found out someone you are dating had been conducting little “character tests” on you?

130 comments Add your comment

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:00 pm

You can? We’re not talking about your mother’s bath salt now….this is much stronger (apparently).

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

June 7th, 2012
3:00 pm

Elijah sho you right!

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:01 pm

Why use it as a laxative. If it has you turning to cannibalism, you think one would try to eat themselves.

Ok, I took a stretch. I’ve regained my footing back into reality.

Sassy Me...Ooooh and I like it :-)

June 7th, 2012
3:01 pm

it’s bath salt. Is that in the meth family???

It’s not actually bath salts..it’s just called that as a slick marketing ploy so it can be sold legally until the FDA bans it. From what I’ve read it’s not exactly in the meth family but has all of the effects of LSD,meth,and other psychedelic drugs COMBINED and is worse than all of them. It’s like meth to the Nth degree…

gotta go brb…

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:07 pm

The Bath Salt stuff is not the stuff you buy in your neigborhood corner store…i think that’s just the street name for it. It’s made with several other ingredients that you have to sort of cook up like you would meth.

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
3:11 pm

First off I would like to apologize that is hard for me to understand sarcasm, not growing up in the city and being a Hick from Ocilla Georgia (about 5 hours south of Atlanta unless you’re a lead foot) you’re really not used to a lot of sarcasm like folks here in the city of Atlanta. When there is no real clear way to tell if someone being serious or joking it can be quite confusing, so I guess I’ll be asking a lot “are you joking or serious” for living here close to 13 years I still have problems with it, I guess you really can’t take the “country” out of a country person just you can’t take the “city” out of a city person.

On topic there are pros and cons to that kind of test. As it shows lack of trust, I would not do that but being a farm boy you can never be too careful with city folk and that is the truff. But a test similar to that would be “if your favorite celebrity pending what gender you are, came to your door butt-naked and said take me now would you honor your SO or husband/wife and resist?” I know that comment is total fiction but loyalty is a commodity these days. So guess I am saying try it at your own risk. Maybe just talking out of my butt again. (shruggs)

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
3:19 pm

well hello there, bad boy. (sarcasm? you figure it out)

the first hubs and i allowed each other one celebrity passes. you know, just in case.
current s/o don’t play that. not even in the land of make-believe.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:21 pm

Merv ~ you do realize some couples say if their SO crush were to appear on their doorsteps they could have free will with them if allowed. Mind you now, most of this is talk because chances are such an encounter would never materialize so the person is “sure if your celebrity crush knocked on door, you’ll have my permision to get buck wild” knowing it’s dime a dozen likely to occur.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:22 pm

To be real about it, folks test their SO’s in all sorts of ways if you really think about it. Not sure if any of you watch that show, Tough Love but he had one show where the lady was left alone in a guys apt while we ‘went to get the delivery from down stairs’. The guys iPad and cell phone was purposely left and of course camera’s were taping to see what the ladies would do. One chick actually went through his ipad…another went through the cell phone. One chick just walked around the apt looking at the various pictures around the house and a Valentines card signed by a female name of course.

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:34 pm

See, czB backed me up without realizing she was backing me up (lol).

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:35 pm

SlimUno ~ you must have been absent when some of us discussed that episode of Tough Love (lol).

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:40 pm

Merv – I’ve had that celebrity crush convo numerous times. The current beau likes Zoe Saldana and a few other celebs (too many to name lol)…I like Eldris Alba, Derwin Davis (The Game), and Ryan Gosling :oops: (not all at one time either)

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
3:44 pm

If I saw Eldris and perceived him to be walking in my direction then some random chick jumps in front of me, I would have to do the only decent thing I know to do and that is trip her as they walk past me!!!

disco

June 7th, 2012
3:45 pm

slim – you like pooch hall? lol. actually I like him too although I’m not feeling this new fangled stank acting derwin. if I was playing “who can hit it” with the cast of the game my money is on Jason pitts (coby bell). that’s actually surprising considering I’m a wee bit color struck.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
3:59 pm

Leggs – I probably was since I typed all that again. Ooops

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
4:00 pm

i’m still gaga for shemar. and have recently developed a crush on thor.
but s/o still ain’t giving me a pass. :sad:

oh, and no matter what anyone else says, i’m luvin how brad is aging. luvin it!!

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:02 pm

Leggs – Now that is funny…the thought of you tripping me up with your broke heeled shoe :lol: There is something about his Brooklyn English accent :oops:

disco – I’m really don’t find myself attracted to lighter-skinned fellas for some reason so you could have free reign of Coby Bell….just not my cup of tea..or cup of cream lol

i'm swiss

June 7th, 2012
4:05 pm

Most female celebs are too d@mn boney for my taste. Sloane Stephens has a nice little body on her, but she’s barely legal. Then again, technically, barely counts. Lol

disco

June 7th, 2012
4:08 pm

slim – did you not see that I said it was surprising? I’m not a fan of the high yella brothers myself but there’s just something about him/his character that I like. still I guess no one wants poor coby but me. none of my “real-life” friends want him either.

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
4:11 pm

SlimUno well good to know first hand that others have thought or had conversations about celebs like that, I felt odd just posting it. And you’re right everyone tests the person they date at some point, it’s matter of not going too far or it can blow up in your face. (yikes!)

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:19 pm

disco – Yeah I saw where you said it was surprising for you to be digging him. I was only saying I hardly find myself attracted to the lighter types…so my “surprising pick’ is Ryan Goslin lol

And you’re right everyone tests the person they date at some point, it’s matter of not going too far

Merv – My bf always leaves his facebook open on the laptop that I use from time to time when I’m at his place. Or he’ll even enter the code to his phone while sitting right next to me in plain eye-sight. I often wonder if those are some of his ’setups’ lol

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:24 pm

Most female celebs are too d@mn boney for my taste

swiss – Watch it derrrr now…I will take that to mean you are referring to the Angelina Jolie and Olsen Twins skinny type celebs

Leggs

June 7th, 2012
4:27 pm

Many said it’s a punk move for a guy to test a woman. Anybody else thought of the car door test so many of the men on HERE admitted to? Sure a simple test, nonetheless a test.

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
4:27 pm

I likes red-heads period, but my favorite celebs would be Julianne Moore, Alyson Hannigan, Cynthia Nixon, Molly Ringwald oh nom nom nom nom nom (wipes drool from mouth) It would be hard to resist those, but hey a guy can dream :P

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
4:30 pm

i must admit, sometimes i wonder if it’s wise to have most of my regular websites on auto-fill for username and password. not only because s/o has free access to my place when i’m not there, but also because the lap could be stolen.

i have nothing to hide from him so i couldn’t care much less, but it’s probably not the smartest thing i’ve ever done.

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:32 pm

Merv – So you have an affinity for pale red heads huh? I must say, they all do have their own unique look. lol

czBrat – Is there a general password needed to at least access your laptop?

disco

June 7th, 2012
4:34 pm

merv – I recently watched chloe and all I could think was how white julianne moore looked. she’s got that dead look like Nicole kidman. those chicks need some sunlight or some jergens natural glow or something. okay – having commented on her pale, she’s easy enough on the eye. have at it my man.

czBrat

June 7th, 2012
4:37 pm

@ slim, nope. :oops:

SlimUno

June 7th, 2012
4:48 pm

I think you can limit auto fill to just usernames and not the password…

MervTheTerrible

June 7th, 2012
5:02 pm

Slim- yes they do have their own unique look, call me weird but pale skin and firey red hair is sexy and Nicole Kidman is hot too. Later Gators.