Issues getting naked?
One of our readers wrote me asking how she should handle a dating dilemma. She has been dating a man who is a little “husky” and is extremely shy about his body. He was in a car accident last year, so his activity level has dropped dramatically, and he is not at all comfortable at this size.
While he is actively working on getting back in shape, he does not want her to see him without clothes. A lot of people have body issues that can impede intimacy with their partners. When you have this kind of hang up, it helps to be with someone who understands and is supportive.
How do you really show support to someone who isn’t comfortable with their own body?
If you are someone who has this image issue, do you talk about it openly? Would you want your partner to bring it up?
What happens to your dating relationships when you have an issue with your appearance?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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331 comments Add your comment
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
1:37 pm
Bluz – That reminds me of one summer when I was on college break so I was back home with my parents. I had gone out with some girlfriends partying and had parked my car over to one of the friends house. That night, I was too tipsy to drive so my friends dropped me off home until I could get someone to take me back to get my car. Well, my parents were up having their coffee the next morning and immediately saw my car missing. My dad thought the worst and assumed I was with some dude all night. My mom knew better and reminded him that’s not how I was raised and that I respected the rules of the house, which was even though I was in college, no spending the night with dudes while I was home. She checked my room, where I was sleeping. She ran back upstairs telling Dad “see, I told ya”! She was all happy and smug and when I got up was basking in the glow of being right about me!
i'm swiss
June 6th, 2012
1:39 pm
Nah, it has nothing to do with over-use in one’s youth. As abc said, it’s more about getting out of shape & developing other physical issues that hamper proper functionality down there. Getting overweight, having HBP, etc., or even medications that you have to take for other ailments can cause problems. But definitely not from over-use. Keep an active w@ng along with an active body & you’ll probably be just fine.
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
1:42 pm
abc – Yeah, we know….I for one was being facetious. In all seriousness, I only hope it happens to the dudes that were men wh@ores all their life…lol I hope there comes a day when it just stops working…nothing, nada, zilch, done. Only for those dudes that practiced with no regard and no self control.
Like the saying goes….”feet don’t fail me now”…I can just see it…lol
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
1:43 pm
Swiss Beatz, you would have been cool to hang with at UGA. Wish I had known you existed then!LOL!! I studied hard, but partied hard too!
Lady~wow factor
June 6th, 2012
1:45 pm
what’s poppin’ crew?!?
i'm swiss
June 6th, 2012
1:46 pm
kimmie — You know I would’ve tried my best to get in your panties, though, right? Lol
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
1:47 pm
And really back on topic (cause I didn’t say earlier), I’ll cut up but I’m a bit more reserved. I like to walk around not totally naked but comfy/skimpy…but that’s just for me at home. In the presence of company I’m going to have on clothes. Reaching a point of intimacy is not something I can just jump into. I gotta REAAAAALLY be feeling a person to go there and to disrobe (or allow myself to be) pretty easily. If I’m feeling him, it happens effortlessly
That’s all I can give out publicly…lol
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
1:49 pm
Mmeello – Where are you? I know with the new thing it’s a bit hard. Stick your head in the door on lunch
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
1:51 pm
Wowzer we’re on page 5 already…feels like old times
By 5 we should hit at least 7 or 8
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
1:52 pm
Swiss – Yeah, but you’d have put me in the friend-zone REAL quick, believe it! I didn’t fool with UGA dudes too much on that level! But I did like to party!LOL!!
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
1:53 pm
Celisea – Your 1:47, that’s me too. Really gotta be feeling ya to go there.
i'm swiss
June 6th, 2012
1:54 pm
kimmie — Hey, what’s a little cunnilingus between friends? It’s a party, right? Lol
SlimUno
June 6th, 2012
1:54 pm
Well I’ll be damned, yall got 209 comments on 5 pages up in this camp on a day I missed it all. Have not read any comments yet…anyone willing to shoot me the cliff notes.
i'm swiss
June 6th, 2012
1:58 pm
Slim — Here’s the recap: Chicks don’t like teeny weenies. Dudes don’t like big ol’ floppity vajayjays. And had kimmie & I met at UGA, we’d have been oral buddies.
I think that sums it up. Lol
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
1:58 pm
Kimmie – I’m reserved like that. I’m talking crap but no can do. I can even cut up, lighten up and loosen up in having fun but um, the drawers ain’t dropping like that…lol
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
1:58 pm
Lady – What’s crackalacking? Whatcha waiting for? Dive in
Elijah
June 6th, 2012
2:02 pm
BluzGirl do u have any tats? If so please send me a pic @ 1packelijah@yahoo.com
Leggs seem to have a HUGE PROBLEM with men taking the blue pill..That is too funny…Leggs don’t take it personally if your guys has to use the magic pill..He just wants to make sure he pleases you…
Kimmie..Broken heel, hair messed up, clothes out of place ummm sounds familiar are u sure u recall the actual events of that night? lol
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:02 pm
And Kimmie’s friend implemented the “feel test” that we’re all going to adapt to in the future. That will avoid any awkward moments or anyone lying and jumping out of the bathroom window because they didn’t have the cajoules to tell buddy (after getting a full frontal), “ummm Imma take a pass” or “I think I have a headache” or “you know, I think my kid is calling me” or “I have bubbleguts from dinner, gotta run”….any ole lie to get out of the teeny weenie business…lol
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:03 pm
Swiss, I had my fun, but was a little reserved for THAT at the time! No, I just would have cut up with you driving the bus and hitting that Scream Machine hill by the stadium!
Elijah
June 6th, 2012
2:05 pm
@Celisea I am not sure how I am going to handle u this summer, but I am ready to put in some work…I want you to take all the pent-up physical aggression out on me! (beating up the homeless, about to belt the cashier) I am here for u C….lol
Let the Play-offs begin
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:06 pm
Elijah – I wasn’t going but so crazy back then cause moms & pops & auntie were in town and I had to face them!LOL!! But naw, I remember it well. I’m not one of those folks that get tipsy and CLAIM they don’t remember anything. I keeps it real. I get silly, then sick if I go too far, but no amnesia!
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:08 pm
Elijah, my dear…nothing about me is held in….you can’t tell. Nothing pent up. What comes up comes out. I try to fix my words so as to land a hard sting but naaaw, I’m not really one for holding back. Sorry wrong assessment. I think you’re nose must be on the screen because you’re reading too hard…lololol
disco
June 6th, 2012
2:09 pm
kimmie – re your 1:14. that could be me. I have no problem with copping a feel or asking a brother to show me. you’d be amazed at how many punk out when you call them out. lol.
abc – re walking around the back of the car. hilarious.
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:09 pm
Elijah – In all fairness I was only gonna run over that dude had he attacked the elderly. I would say that’s fair.
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:12 pm
disco – LOL!!
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
June 6th, 2012
2:12 pm
“feel test”?
Bluzgirl
June 6th, 2012
2:13 pm
Elijah…I have 9 tats…sorry, but not sending pics at this point!
When I was 21 and still living at home, I was dating a guy and we had a little too much to drink. I napped at his place and sobered up and came home at 6 am. My dad was getting his coffee and wasn’t very pleased. My mom woke me up at 8 and made me go to church with them (funny cause they are not religious really). The next weekend, I went looking for an apartment. I figured it was better to stay with him than to try to drive home when I shouldn’t have!
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:15 pm
disco – Actually I’m surprised my chubby-chaser friend didn’t adopt that policy. She’s certainly bold enough.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 6th, 2012
2:16 pm
I’m leaving a bar and in the parking lot this lady nearly run over me. She stopped about 4 inches from my knees she was drunker than I was, I asked if she was ok and I said to myself I can’t let her drive like this, then she started asking me over and over where is Michael I’m guessing Michael put something in her drink so I pull her out the driver seat and drive to my car which wasn’t far then she says she got to pee I take her to a Kroger store near by to use the restroom again I to have pull her out the car and walk her to the restroom folks staring at us because I’m walking her holding her up when we get to the door she goes in after 15 minutes milling around I feel there’s something wrong I go to the ladys room and she’s laid out on the floor. I pick her up carry her back to the car, I ask her is there anyone I can call to come pick her up. She ask me where’s Michael I said I don’t know and she says take me home and I say I don’t know where you live she says take me to your home. After a few minutes pondering what to do I decide to take her to my place. Fully clothed I laid her on my bed and covered her and I slept on the sofa. The next morning she took me to get my car and I asked her who is Michael and she said she didn’t know.
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:17 pm
Bluz – My mom did that after I stayed out until after 2 from the prom. She said if I could stay out all night partying, I could go to church and give time to the Lord! And she was not the overly religious type either!
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:20 pm
Blackfoote – You did a good deed that night. You probably saved many lives.
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:21 pm
Blackfoote – Are you serious? You have won it for me hands down…lol Seriously Any other dude would have either left her or call the cops.
You take her and carry her in and out, then home and don’t take advantage of the situation???
Kudos to you….seriously
disco
June 6th, 2012
2:26 pm
kimmie – re coming home past curfew. my cousins and I stayed out too late once and got locked out of the house. we were in junior high at the time and I have no idea where we were or what we were doing. we ended up sleeping in the car.
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:28 pm
The one and only time there was a curfew violation, my mama told me with the quickness…”you need your own place” I did it too. There was none of that in their house.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 6th, 2012
2:28 pm
Thanks lady’s do beleive it was on my mind, but like yesterday’s topic I’m not into taking advantage of people. She looked like good people and I thought about calling the cops too, but I sensed they would have locked her up and wasn’t no need for that. So she was in good hands with me that night.
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:29 pm
2.5 hours before my week is officially over!
SlimUno
June 6th, 2012
2:31 pm
swiss – Why only oral buddies???
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:32 pm
Okay folks…13 more comments and we can turn the page. I know….almost like watching the clock
SlimUno
June 6th, 2012
2:32 pm
swiss – And I thought you all have a name for “big ol’ floppity vajayjays” —> Beef Curtains.
Mr. Unknown
June 6th, 2012
2:33 pm
What up, Guys?
“lol I hope there comes a day when it just stops working”. C Don’t wish that on us, we didn’t know any better back in the day. lol… We talking about drunken escapades, the best stories are the ones you don’t remember and your friends end up telling you the next day. I’m sooo glad there were no video cameras back in the day. Wow!!
disco
June 6th, 2012
2:33 pm
C – here’s my contribution to the turning of the page.
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:33 pm
disco – My mom would put the inside lock on after a certain time, so your key was useless and would force you to have to ring the bell. There were a few times I would have stayed in the car than do that, but when you drove up to our house the headlights shined right into my parents room window. Even cutting them off did not help, because my mom could not sleep if we were not all safe in the house and she would listen out. So it was no getting around it. Needless to say, I didn’t really do the very late thing very much at all. The best thing I could do was make plans to stay with a friend that night and call to let her know. Oh, and didn’t trying lying so I could stay with a dude either, cause my mom had her WAYS of finding out. When she did, your life was a living H— for awhile!LOL!!
Celisea....today is my Friday!
June 6th, 2012
2:34 pm
disco – lol…thanks
Mr. U – Naaah, I hope you can go til your dying day
Mr. Unknown
June 6th, 2012
2:34 pm
*sorry phone cameras
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
June 6th, 2012
2:38 pm
Mr. Unknown you got that right, I’m glad no phone cameras exited back in those days I would have been toast.
kimmie
June 6th, 2012
2:40 pm
Celisea – The wild part is we really didn’t have an official curfew. I didn’t go out on real dates until the first prom, which was my junior year. That night I stayed out past 2 was my senior year. I had double-dated with my buddy that lived a few houses down. We actually got back around midnight but hung out at her house with our dates until the wee hours and mom knew that! She was really messing with me and trying to teach me a lesson! But again, no official curfew, she used to just tell us to come home at a reasonable hour and that she had raised us to use good judgement. She said once she saw we couldn’t use decent judgement, then she would have to give us a set time. I never got a real curfew, but especially when I came home on college breaks, I know I pushed it some. Had to respect the household though.
MervTheTerrible
June 6th, 2012
2:41 pm
Well it hasn’t hit me yet, I am just saying, and I don’t believe being a horndog has anything to do with it, not that I have been or are. Buuuuuuuuut if it does happen, I will be a total woman about sex, “My head hurts” “all you want me for is sex” “it’s the male time of the month” ect ect GAHAHAHAHAHAHA it would only be fair
SlimUno
June 6th, 2012
2:41 pm
I don’t need you to pick up your belly to get to the ding-a-ling!
Ok, I know i’m all late trying to speed read these 654898 pages of comments. But damn that’s funny as hell
MervTheTerrible
June 6th, 2012
2:42 pm
I know I am TERRIBLE
Mr. Unknown
June 6th, 2012
2:47 pm
BF, I remember I had the old style big 1990’s camcorder during my freaknik days. I have since collected all but one of the tapes and destroyed them all. I hope who ever has that last tape did the right thing. lol… I’m out have a great day everyone.