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Vintage dating tips still applicable?

Not long after I spotted this quote on Facebook: Chivalry isn’t dead. It just left and followed wherever “being lady like” went. – I found a vintage article from 1938, sweetly entitled Tips for Single Women.

I think my favorite gem from 1938: Don’t drink too much as a man expects you to keep your dignity. Drinking may make some women more clever, but most get silly.

Obviously, a lot has changed for single women and men since 1938. I think the idea of how a woman should behave has changed so much, you would be hard pressed to find traditional views like these.

I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, though. Are vintage dating tips that talk about the expectations of “lady like behavior” still applicable today? Does it explain the lack of chivalry today?

Are men slow to be more chivalrous because they don’t really see that much ladylike behavior that deserves it?

What kind of dating tips do you think our parents and grandparents were given when they were single? Did they ever pass any on to you that are still relevant?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures In Atlanta Dating Blog

117 comments Add your comment

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
1:39 pm

Raqi – I love it, no better “job” in the world!! It helps that they are sweet kids though!LOL!!!

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
1:41 pm

Raqi – It seems like I vaguely remember you mentioning. That’s great. I’ll be sure to pass that along…the fact that she enjoys. The money ain’t bad either.

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:48 pm

Celisea, LOL. At least they are on the bus. My son drives so the places they can sneak off to and stay for too long are limitless. No bus waiting time.

I get so much joy out of embarrassing them when they are leaving to go see a movie or whatever from here.

“Keep your hands in your laps. And I don’t mean each others.”

“Don’t you be letting him touch him anywhere you wouldn’t want your mother to him touching you.”

“NO SEX. OF ANY KIND!!!” He always looks at me like “MAAAAA PLEEEAAASE”. LOL

As long as they know that I know what’s on their minds I can sleep just a little better.

Mr. Unknown

May 30th, 2012
1:50 pm

I’ve learned that you should not allow someones actions to dictate how you conduct yourself or treat people, but in the same breathe its becoming increasely hard, honestly times have changed. I still hold doors ect… especially for elderly women and men, help carry groceries to the car, even return those scooter things from Walmart to the front door. Its easy, takes two minutes out of your life to do. dang incomplete got to go have a good day.

DreamsMaterialize

May 30th, 2012
1:54 pm

Hey ladies and gents. Is that Raqi in the house? Good to see you on. Hope all is well with you and the fam.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
1:56 pm

Raqi – LOLOLOL…That’s sooo funny because go there as well. In front of the both of them. She said a minute ago she was hungry, I asked ummm so and so is not treating you today. She could have gone through the floor…LOL He says “no ma’am, I don’t any money but I started working yesterday” LOL I also say, keep you hands to yourselves and if you create or make it, buy it or go get it…it’s y’alls to deal with…

I AM THERE WITH YOU!!!

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:56 pm

You know Kimmie,…(I hear rustling from one of the baby monitors. somebody is waking up)…Some evenings I crawl into bed totally exhausted from dealing with my babies and their needs all day but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My lines have been cut so there will not be any more coming but I so love the ones I have and every minute I get to have them in my world.

I never told you this, mainly because I stopped chatting with you all, but I think what you are doing is absolutely wonderful. I have the utmost respect for you and just having conversation here with you I truly believe you are a gift to those children and your husband.

This is coming from a woman that is married to a man that chose a life where kids already existed. So I do know a little about what your life is like.

cba

May 30th, 2012
2:00 pm

Celisea, if you pass along the positive persona, that you display on here, to your mom, I’m sure it will help in her recovery. Hope she returns home soon.
Raqi, glad to read that your little one is doing well.

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
2:00 pm

Thank you so much, Raqi! Your words mean a lot to me! :)

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
2:02 pm

Celisea, yep. If he can’t afford to buy her a burger they don’t need to be going out. LOL I tell mine that when he is looking to us for $20.

They went to the prom this year. I told him when he gets home to come by my room before going to bed. He better not smell like sex nor soap.

He thinks I am the meanest mother in the world. I must be doing an okay job.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
2:07 pm

Raqi – Sho nuff. Learn and start if off right…lol I bought her lunch only. Now, if I can juuuust make it the next couple of years or so without dying or killing her or him, I will have overcome…lol

And yes, you’re so right about being considered “mean”…you are doing something right.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 30th, 2012
2:08 pm

Afternoon:

For me respect and manners for people will never go away.

Cely: I hope your mom is getting better, and stay better.

Raqi V: Hello there, I hope you and fam is doing fine. How’s that little man, I’ll bet he’s strong enough to lift you up now.

DreamsMaterialize

May 30th, 2012
2:12 pm

Oh and congrats to you and your young Wolverine! I’m guessing he was very familiar with North Campus…all the engineers are. I wish him the best. You know from my old life in aerospace, I still have contacts at Northrup Gruman, Lockheed, the Air Force, and NASA. Would be glad to share if it’s helpful.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 30th, 2012
2:12 pm

Cely sprinkle some of that dust my way, not that I’m behaving bad just so nothing sneaks up on me.

DreamsMaterialize

May 30th, 2012
2:13 pm

Celly Cel I hope moms is on the upswing. Will send up prayers. How are you holding up?

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
2:15 pm

Hey DreamsM. How are you doing?

Hello cba.

I have to go upstairs to get my littlest one. He is crying now. But it’s been wonderful chatting with all today.
You all have a great rest of the day.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
2:16 pm

Raqi ~ yep time to buy a car, but thank goodness Freshman’s don’t really need a car.

Arguing with PizzaHut employees get you no where. Went into the store and got my order free…dumbclucks!!!!

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
2:17 pm

Ummm, guess it actually got me somewhere…

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 30th, 2012
2:20 pm

Leggs free is always good, even if you had to argue for it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 30th, 2012
2:21 pm

Is your mother still in town?

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
2:24 pm

disco

May 30th, 2012
2:26 pm

leggs – did you say your child was going to pay with peanut butter and jelly? too funny. and by the way, peanut butter can be kind of pricey. lol.

SlimNu

May 30th, 2012
2:27 pm

Well hellooooo folks….how goes it?

Leggs – How did the graduation and everything go. I apologize for asking if someone else already did. Been out of the loop since Friday.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
2:33 pm

SlimNu ~ graduation was beautiful. It really was a nice ceremony. So many walked down to the stage crying. They were so proud to reach this milestone. There was one girl that most thought was a little “fast” in the 8th grade. Thank goodness my child has always been friends with her because we knew others misunderstood her. She turned out to be the Valedictorian!!!

Went to Pappadeaux for graduation dinner and although it was delicious, graduation day wasn’t the day to go. Everyone seemed to be there!

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
2:39 pm

cba, Blackfoote, Dreams – Thank you all for the blessing of well wishes. We’re packing up and headed out of here!!! Y’all are a powerful group. Each of you :) Talk to y’all a bit later.

SlimNu

May 30th, 2012
2:40 pm

Leggs – Glad to hear it…so lil miss messed your car up? Daaaaang, sorry to hear that. Oh and I didn’t have a car my 1st year at school either. I’d walk to the grocery store and carry my things in my book bag back to the dorm….unless someone else I knew was driving then I’d hop a ride with them. Then when i got a car, it was a stick shift so I didn’t have to worry about anyone bugging me about borrowing my car lol

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
2:45 pm

SlimNu ~ thank goodness it’s only a small portion under the left headlight. Much like the size of Mike Tyson’s head (lol). So many Mexicans honk at me asking if I want them to knock out the dent for $25-$50. No thanks. I always envision one trying to pop out the dent and a bigger crack emerges and then they say “no mas, no mas, not me fault!”

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
2:47 pm

Leggs – That’s amazing! So proud of lil Leggs AND the val!! Such things like graduations do bring you to tears. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was excited to be entering a new chapter of my life, but sad to be leaving one as well.

Although I’ll never know, I wonder how it feels to be a dropout? :(

SlimNu

May 30th, 2012
2:52 pm

:lol: No mas, no hablo engles :lol:

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
2:53 pm

kimmie ~ you don’t need to wonder, just look around you at so many shiftless young boys and girls walking around with no direction!!

Mr. Unknown

May 30th, 2012
2:53 pm

Sooo my classmate just passed out earlier during lecture. This is sad, I’m in the back of my computer concepts class, the next to the last row. I’m typing my response to today’s topic. I hear the instructor say are you alright, I look up for a quick second to see who he’s talking too. I see her standing up but don’t think nothing of it. I hear him say it again are you alright. Now I’m paying attention, I see her start to stumble as she is trying to make her way to the door. There are ten guys between me and her and not one dude stood up to try and catch her other than me and the instructor. I ran from the back of the class to help catch her. Come on man… Is that a case of people not being good in a crisis? I’m kind of disappointed in the reaction or lack there of.

SlimNu

May 30th, 2012
2:53 pm

kimmie – no you don’t…lol

Bluzgirl

May 30th, 2012
2:53 pm

Hmmm…the blog monster ate my post, I guess.

I don’t believe that chivalry should depend on “ladylike” behavior. Either you have good manners or you don’t. I don’t think you should have to earn chivalry from a man. That concept has to be one of the most re-di-cu-lous things I’ve ever heard…

Mr. Unknown

May 30th, 2012
2:57 pm

Also she is alright, the ambulance took her in to be checked. She stated that she gave blood earlier but she really wasn’t that coherent.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 30th, 2012
3:01 pm

Mr. Unknown as you experienced some folks just freeze in place when moments of valor are called for. People like you have a survivable instinct that goes into action when the need calls for it. Good looking out, hope she’s doing well.

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
3:03 pm

Unknown – That is sad, that no one else would step up to help, but kudos to you and glad she’s okay!

Leggs/Slim – It would rip me apart to see all my friends graduating while I’m doing nothing. Let me take that back, cause I guess if I’m a dropout, I’m probably not exactly hanging with the smart crowd anyway. Birds of a feather tend to flock together!

disco

May 30th, 2012
3:08 pm

leggs – okay. I’m about to open up a whole can of worms with your 2:45. (disclaimer: i’m not trying to offend, just relaying a story). how come last week one of my neighbors (white chick) felt compelled to tell me that she was trying to move because of – and I quote – “those mexicans that moved in across the street”. the new neighbors have only been there a week or two. personally, I’d noticed the home was no longer vacant but hadn’t run into the new occupants. she went on and on with every possible stereotype. called them dirty, said the didn’t take care of their kids, she wondered how they could afford to live there, said there’d probably be about 10 people living there, accused them of selling drugs. oh she went on and on and didn’t stop. I was just looking at her like whoa. I finally asked her where she was planning on moving to, Switzerland or Norway or some place like that. oh, and she accused them of – and I quote again – “always talking that Spanish” whenever she sees them in walmart.

unknown – I think it was probably a combination of not having quick reflexes, not caring about others and not wanting to risk any liability. heck these days folks will sue you for helping them.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
3:12 pm

Mr.Unknown ~ you’re in the next to last row? How many rows for you to make it to the front to help out and the jerks in the first row sat there frozen??? Sheesh. Some can’t react fast enough to even save their own lives.

kimmie ~ the girl sitting behind me (who I do know) was crying so hard while all her friends walked. I tried to comfort her. She was supposed to graduate with everyone, but had to sit with audience with her newborn baby. I felt so bad for her. As the girls were walking out after throwing their caps in the air, many hugged her as they walked by. That teared me up. She was one of the young teenage pregnancies that attributed to her not graduating with her class.

Mr. Unknown

May 30th, 2012
3:15 pm

Yeah I guess, two out of ten men know what to do… Oh well. He could have at least canceled class.

disco

May 30th, 2012
3:15 pm

leggs – is that a school rule that the teen parents can’t walk or did the girl drop out? guess I should get my facts straight before I get all indignant.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
3:16 pm

disco ~ I started to say she’s probably one of those chicks in the WalMart pictures I get through email. All are comical and sad, but you did say she’s one of your neighbors (lolol).

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
3:20 pm

disco ~ don’t think it’s a school rule. That’s why I said it “attributed” to her not walking. Missing school due to being a new mom no doubt affected her grades.

i'm swiss

May 30th, 2012
3:22 pm

“I don’t think you should have to earn chivalry from a man.”

Bluz — I agree with you here. And I’m assuming that you feel the reverse is also true — that men shouldn’t have to earn lady-like behavior from women. Good manners should be the default from everyone.

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
3:24 pm

Leggs – That’s heartbreaking. But if she puts her mind to it, she can overcome that. I’ve seen young women do it, and get college degrees to boot. Hopefully, she’ll build a decent support system to help her do it.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
3:26 pm

I was trying to remember who said good manners should be front and center. It doesn’t matter about one being chivalrous. If you have good character, it’s not a thought but a natural reaction to the situation your confronted with. Thanks, swiss!

Bluzgirl

May 30th, 2012
3:27 pm

Exactly swiss…I believe that we all are who we are. Some of us were raised better than others. We just have to weed out the jerks!

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
3:29 pm

I hope she does too, kimmie.

It’s getting hot in here, time for an icee.

disco

May 30th, 2012
3:29 pm

leggs – I called her out on her “sense of entitlement” and the fact that she mistakenly believes she’s better than someone but i still couldn’t help but to wonder where all that animosity came from. she was livid and those folks haven’t done anything but moved in and minded their own business. re graduation – just checking. I’ve heard of situations where the “bad influence” was removed.

kimmie – as far as I’m concerned, the girl already has gumption because I don’t know if I would have sat through someone else’s graduation.

bluz – and I think of the expression “no home training”.

Bluzgirl

May 30th, 2012
3:34 pm

disco…I think of the poor moms and dads who did their best to raise their children with manners and they still grow up to be selfish jerks! I know of several who were taught right, but went against it all.

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
3:39 pm

disco – I actually was thinking the same, I don’t think I could have attended.

As far as home training and manners and such, sometimes it’s what is already in a person. I’ve seen people come from some of the worst homes imaginable and it’s something within them that causes them to seek better for themselves. Things they were not taught at home they find a way to learn anyway. I remember a guy I used to date right after college had this book of etiquette that he said really helped him as he got out into the business world.

Then I’ve seen folk that had every advantage still act like they were raised by wolves!