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Vintage dating tips still applicable?

Not long after I spotted this quote on Facebook: Chivalry isn’t dead. It just left and followed wherever “being lady like” went. – I found a vintage article from 1938, sweetly entitled Tips for Single Women.

I think my favorite gem from 1938: Don’t drink too much as a man expects you to keep your dignity. Drinking may make some women more clever, but most get silly.

Obviously, a lot has changed for single women and men since 1938. I think the idea of how a woman should behave has changed so much, you would be hard pressed to find traditional views like these.

I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, though. Are vintage dating tips that talk about the expectations of “lady like behavior” still applicable today? Does it explain the lack of chivalry today?

Are men slow to be more chivalrous because they don’t really see that much ladylike behavior that deserves it?

What kind of dating tips do you think our parents and grandparents were given when they were single? Did they ever pass any on to you that are still relevant?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures In Atlanta Dating Blog

117 comments Add your comment

Lily

May 30th, 2012
8:00 am

I don’t think so much “dating” anything has changed but more so principles overall. No men aren’t gentlemen so much anymore because women have become no holds barred and frankly does any and everything. Nothing special about us, our bodies, our outlook. Nothing grand anymore about being virtuous. If anything, you’re considered “strange” for being a women of yesteryear. Nothing strange about it to me, just rare. I still believe in it and I stay “getting respected.” :)

Lily

May 30th, 2012
8:09 am

……and yes, all of what and how my, parents raised,me to be is still relevant. I won’t ever abandon….no lmatter how antiquated.

lolalee

May 30th, 2012
9:24 am

While the dating tips appear quaint and a bit outdated, the essence isn’t so bad: leave a little mystery, don’t be annoying, look your best, and don’t act the fool.

I think folks make the whole dating thing far more complicated than it needs to be. Be respectful and treat your date like you want to be treated. Not so hard, is it?

My father was ALWAYS a gentleman to my mother, his daughters, and all women. My man is ALWAYS a gentleman to me, my daughers, and all women. I like it, I expect it, and I won’t settle for less. I act like a lady, show him respect, and try to have something interesting to say.

Really, it’s not that hard.

lolalee

May 30th, 2012
9:24 am

and amen, Lily. I’m with you on this one!

lolalee

May 30th, 2012
9:26 am

and, as if you couldn’t tell, I love love love a gentleman. It’s a deal breaker if you are not one.

abc

May 30th, 2012
9:46 am

Every one of the vintage tips still rings true. Things change and remain the same.

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
9:53 am

Morning!

Respectful behavior and good manners NEVER go out of style. You’ll find they serve you well in all areas of life.

Are men slow to be more chivalrous because they don’t really see that much ladylike behavior that deserves it?

I hate the above statement. Not only does it put the entire onus on women, but it makes excuses for slack behavior. No one else’s behavior should determine how you conduct your life, if you’re a real man or woman. That could be twisted around and said “well maybe there are some women that feel they don’t need to be ladies because there are not many gentleman around that deserve it”. Take ownership for what you do and how you treat others. If someone’s behavior doesn’t line up with what you want, avoid that person, but don’t get in the gutter with them!

abc

May 30th, 2012
10:05 am

Lack of chivalry means that a man’s father never taught it to him.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
10:09 am

Good morning.

Vintage dating tips are still applicable in 2012. Being a “lady” on a date isn’t rocket science, it should be expected. I still love it when I see a man tip his hat for a woman. Just like men like a “lady,” a woman truly loves a “gentleman” in their midst. Carry yourself how you would like to be treated, and if you’re being treated the way you want to be then you’re simply in the wrong company.

Not every woman knows how to be a lady, and not every man knows how to be a gentleman. Sometimes what you don’t learn at home or by the people in your circle, you may have to take cues from others you aspire to be like.

disco

May 30th, 2012
10:10 am

good morning folks. once, some years back, chivalry was the topic of a radio call in show. one guy (who sounded like he was country as a dozen eggs) called in and said that his wife whined about his lack of chivalry all the time. she complained, in particular that he didn’t open the car door. he told the radio host that if he pushed the unlock button on his key fob then his wife should consider herself “chivalrized”. yes, he did say “chivalrized”. I was in my car howling.

single and happy

May 30th, 2012
10:29 am

The way I treat a woman depends on how the woman acts! It will start out with me opening doors for her, but depending on how she acts, it may end with you got to hands, open your own doors!!

single and happy

May 30th, 2012
10:30 am

2 hands I mean :-D

Willie Dynamite

May 30th, 2012
11:10 am

Morning All -
I think really you can take the Dating aspect out of the equation and just call it life tips. Certain behaviors are applicable whether you are out on a date or not. All of the traits under Chivalry (respectful,gentlemanly, etc) should be practiced at all times anyway. You should not have to rise or lower yourself based on anothers behavior. Find your lane and you’ll find yourself in the company of plenty folks in that same lane.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
11:11 am

WillieD – Many thanks for the well wishes. I didn’t see until later yesterday. You too Lady :)

Brownsugarvixen

May 30th, 2012
11:15 am

There are many that have a distinct eye for the vintage antique gentleman/woman that displays class. These types of morals never outdate but rather stand tall with time. Nothing like being a lady, and respected as such by all. I don’t see a need to throw out important information passed down by my parents because I’ve benefited from those tips at some point or another in my life. No need to tweek my principles to fit into the “dating scene.”

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
11:15 am

Cel – Praying that your mommy is okay.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
11:26 am

Kimmie – Thank you very much. She’s looking a LOT better than the past few days :) Many many thanks!!!

Lady~hopeful

May 30th, 2012
11:40 am

Howdy MIA!!!!

Anytime C!!!! Glad she is feeling better!!!

Let me check out the topic! What a morning! ;)

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
11:43 am

Celisea ~ haven’t read any of the posts, but from what’s here, I too hope your mom is on her road to recovery. Sorry to hear she’s been ill. Stay strong!

Mr_NYC

May 30th, 2012
11:46 am

Willie D, I second your point. Courteous behavior and actions should be part of life. You shouldn’t have to put on a special dating suit per se. Conduct should be based on your core principles and how you walk in life. You leave room to adjust to various circumstances but don’t follow trends and lower your standards because you can “get away with it.”

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
11:51 am

So what do i have to do to be able to comment around these parts? My post is stuck in moderation I guess.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
11:57 am

Thanks Leggs….much appreciated Mom in hospital.

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
11:58 am

Well anyhoo…(if this goes thru)…I was raised to be a woman for myself and a lady for my man.

One thing I really like about the hub is his love of a woman that is a “lady” in every sense of the word. I am that woman. However I have a strong ability to survive on my own.

What my parents were taught and what they taught me about dating still stands relevant today.

Opening doors, being attentive, saying “please and thank you” are staples of life. Even at the end of the date you find you don’t like each other, “thank you” is still in order.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
12:02 pm

Raqi ~ HELLO! Very glad to see you. Sincerely hope all is well with you and your family.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
12:05 pm

Celisea ~ stay positive and loving. Your mother is in great hands (she has the “Armor of God” surrounding her).

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
12:07 pm

Sorry, didn’t mean to say “stay loving” because that’s a given.

i'm swiss

May 30th, 2012
12:09 pm

First, can we dispatch with the misuse of the word “chivalry” and clarify that what we’re really talking about here is just plain manners. I don’t think anyone here is really referring to any oaths to defend the weak or loyalty to whatever lord/king/etc. might be over one at a given time.

That said, any advice that boils down to “display good manners at all times” is, and always will be, good advice, applicable in almost any circumstance.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
12:10 pm

Thanks Leggs….I understood ya. As y’all can see I’m working remotely from the hospital :) That’s dedication for ya….I guess

Lady~hopeful

May 30th, 2012
12:12 pm

I can’t focus today lol #lurking smh lol

Raqi...A Real ousewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
12:23 pm

Hey Leggs. I hope all is well with you and little Leggs?

Everything around here is just fine. My oldest is graduating from the University of Michigan this fall and then going on (We all hope) to study to be an Aerospace Engineer like his grandfather, my dad.

My second is driving alone now (giving me palpitations and heartattacks) and had his first accident a few weekends ago.

The little lady is talking me to death and is schizophrenic about her baby brother. She loves him one day and hates him the next. She is the only one that can make him laugh hysterically though.

The Man is still doing what he does best and that’s being The Man and loving his family.

My dad is living with us now.

Say hello to Kimmie, SexyCool, Celisea for me. They may be commenting, (if they are “HI LADIES. I HOPE LIFE IS TREATING YOU WELL”) I don’t know because my screen keeps jumping to the top of the page and it’s getting annoying, but if they aren’t let them know I said Hi.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
12:30 pm

Heeeey Raqi!! Good to read you. Little Elizabeth…..that was funny. Just reading about your happenings made me smile. Seems like all is going well and I’m happy to hear that. Many blessings to you and family :)

i'm swiss

May 30th, 2012
12:36 pm

Hey Raqi! Good to hear from you. Glad to hear you’re doing well.

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
12:49 pm

Hey Celisea. I just read where your mom is ill. I will remember her in my prayers and hope she feels better soon. How’s the little Miss?

Hello Gouda. Any little mozzarellas yet?

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
12:53 pm

Raqi, congrats on the upcoming graduation. Aerospace Engineer, very impressive.

Lil Elizabeth is not schizo (lol), normal child loving/hating her sibling. She knows she has that “midas touch” to get him to fits of laughter.

Lil Leggs graduated from h.s. last Friday.

i'm swiss

May 30th, 2012
1:01 pm

Actually, Raqi, some of your baby dust must have made its way over to my neck of the woods. We just found out a few weeks ago that we’ve got a little SwissMocha on the way. :D

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:04 pm

High School already, Leggs?!?!?! Very Good.

So she is a year older that Jonathan. I thought they were the same age.

Where is she going to school next?

(I am cooking a fresh apple pie. Apple pie makes everybody happy. Especially when you add a scope of Bluebell’s vanilla ice cream.)

Yep my firstborn is really making me feel my aging now. LOL While caring for two little ones helps keep me active, vibrant and alert, my oldest two are just shoving me to OLD.

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
1:10 pm

She’ll be 18 in August. Going to Georgia Southern for Nursing.

Speaking of cars, mine decided to pull mine out of my parking space while I went back to my desk for something. She pulls up to me and the front end on driver’s side is all dented and scratched by her scraping the pillar I was parked next too. Just got the entire front end, hood, headlights, everything fixed a few weeks prior. She cried and cried offering to pay for the damage. I wonder with what??? Peanut butter and jelly???

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:12 pm

Congratulations Gouda. You are in for an earth shattering experience. Helping to bring life into the world is one of life’s greatest gifts to mankind.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
1:13 pm

Raqi – Thanks for the well wishes. Funny you mentioned my kid. I was just grilled by the nurses because she and BOYFRIEND came together to see my mom. They all thought she was about 13…lol Everybody was able to breath a sigh of relief when I told them she’s 17… LOL dude. Aside from those kind of inquiries, she’s doing okay…

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:21 pm

LOL Leggs. That’s hilarious. It’s time for you to buy her a car of her own now. Right?

Nursing is a good field. Pays very well. My grandmother was a nurse for many, many years up until her diabetes got the best of her. She loved every minute of it. I hope your little lady loves it too.

kimmie

May 30th, 2012
1:22 pm

Hey Raqita!!!

Glad to hear life is great with you & yours. I cannot complain either. Coming up on our one year anniversary on June 4th! The kids are doing wonderful and made honor roll!! I’m starting a fitness bootcamp next month for 4 weeks!

Leggs

May 30th, 2012
1:26 pm

Yep, those baby dust pks are making its rounds.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
1:26 pm

On topic: Being a woman and gentleman is never a thing outdated. I agree with those that stated manners should be a part of everyday life. I will agree though for those that don’t know…you better ask somebody. What I see being a problem is today’s generation seem to be at a loss as to what’s considered disrespect versus not. And as easy as it seem to those of us reared with manners and respect, unless you pass it along and teach another, they don’t have a clue. I was struggling getting my mom through a door while in her wheelchair and this big burly dude, moved aside until we could get through. He thought moving over displayed manners. Not even an hour later I had four FINE specimen of men to almost lift her off the ground. My sister and I decided to take her to dinner and those men met us getting out of the car. HUGE difference.

Lady~hopeful

May 30th, 2012
1:27 pm

C see you later today sis!!!!

glad everyone is doing well and enjoy the rest of your day MIA!!!! ;)

peace~

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:28 pm

Celisea, I would have died. LOL Really I would have. I still can’t get used the kid bringing a girl by the house unannounced just to say hi or them play the video game or watch a movie. And I am on son number two with these shenanigans.

Glad to hear she is doing fine though.

17??? So it’s her that is my boy’s and not little Leggs. I knew one of them were.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
1:29 pm

I know that scenario wasn’t “dating” per se but I’m just saying.

Kid careers…my kid is still holding to becoming a pharmacist.

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:32 pm

Hello Kimmie!!!!!!!!!!

ONE YEAR?!?! You can’t see me but I am doing the happy dance and throwing confetti. CONGRATULATIONS.

I am glad you showed up before the naps are over and I have to get make to mothering.

How do you like being a fulltime mom?

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
1:36 pm

Raqi – LOL…teenage shenanigans in full effect. Yes your son and my daughter are the same age. Honey, they come strolling in like they’re a married couple. They took the train down here together. Gag me…lol I asked him what she’s gonna do when he goes off to college, playing ball. I only asked because he was heading out at 1:15 for his summer job and she was saying she was leaving with him (blank stare here), as if they’re joined at the hip. He laughed and said, “that’s what I’m asking her” oh and said “I want her to go with me” Ummm, yeah, okay, right… I just looked because I know better. SHENANIGANS I TELL YA!

Oh hes Raqi, I feel you…lol

Lady – Okay sounds good

Raqi...A Real Housewife in Dunwoody

May 30th, 2012
1:37 pm

Celisea, I don’t know if you recall me talking about my friend Lacy on here a while back. She is a pharmacist. I haven’t talked to her in a while but she loves what she does. She would always say it’s “busy” work.

Celisea

May 30th, 2012
1:39 pm

And who’s sprinking babydust? Please please please pass me by…lol I have babydus repellant in case anyone needs it :)