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Dating dilemma: Age gap

When you date much older or much younger people, you have probably had to navigate the age gap. Whenever it becomes painfully obvious that you two are from totally different generations, or have polar opposite outlooks on life. How do you hand the difference in age?

A lot of it has to do with maturity and communication. You find a way to work out the differences by acknowledging them first. It’s not helpful to overlook the pink elephant in the room.

A friend of mine is dating someone a lot younger than he is. Still, he is somewhat surprised how she handles certain situations. I feel as if he should understand that it comes with the territory of dating younger. I encourage him to cut her some slack and remind him how he was clueless at her age too.

Do you ever wonder if dating someone who is much older or much younger is worth all the adjustments that you have to make?

They way I see it, every relationship will have it’s own unique set of challenges. If dealing with the difference in age is the toughest part of the relationship, then that’s not all that bad. Then again, I haven’t dated (many?) 20 year olds in a while either.

What age ranges do you think are most compatible to you? Do you think age matters at all?

How young would you date? How old?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

247 comments Add your comment

Lily

May 23rd, 2012
6:56 am

Diva, I.haven’t really dated with much age difference. Let’s hear what others have to say on topic.

Good day!

single and happy

May 23rd, 2012
7:25 am

I’m 50 and my on again off again girlfriend is 28, and lives in another country, so we have not only the age gap, but the cultural difference. The way I handle the age gap is the same way I would if we were the same age, we talk about things. You have to remember they are not your child so don’t treat them like one! I have a friend who’s in the same situation, but to hear him talk to his wife, you would think he was talking to one of his children. It doesn’t matter if there is an age difference are not, you are going to have to make adjustments in a relationship.

Randyt (what do you talk about after sex...or do you talk??)

May 23rd, 2012
7:46 am

I’ve never chased hardbodies, nor have I “dated” women much older women (well, “dated” wouldn’t be the proper term for an involvement I may or may not have had).

My only comment is that when I got back in to the dating pool in my 40’s, the number of available, beautiful, intelligent, and just plain wonderful women in that age group were astounding because so many guys getting a divorce wanted to chase the younger women. Hey, it works for me, knock youself out dudes, I’m delighted to entertain your throwaways, while you chase the hardbodies. Call me weird, but I actually enjoy intelligent conversation with an educated woman before and after the…

n

May 23rd, 2012
7:52 am

I see having an age gap between boy and girl is more to do with geographic area. The south when I drive down there around the back roads I see a middle age man with old jeans, raggedy shirt, unshaved come into the diner with a purty girl straight out of one of those old classic tales about the rural areas.
It has a lot to do with the long hot summer and steamy nights.
I read a little while ago that the widow of a confederate soldier just passed away. Now, you know, there had to be quite an age difference.
It really is a southern thing. You just have to like those plain unassuming plain spoken folks.

Lily

May 23rd, 2012
7:54 am

Randyt, I’ve been following you and I love you way of thinking. Okay I have to put this away and work.

Randyt (what do you talk about after sex...or do you talk??)

May 23rd, 2012
8:15 am

@ Lily ;-) …just spent a lifetime watching people, and have noted some things along the way. LOL

single and happy

May 23rd, 2012
8:44 am

@randy T you can’t have an intelligent conversation with an older/younger woman. I’ve dated all three, (younger, same, older) and don’t see too much difference in any of them.

Dumb Dude Hater

May 23rd, 2012
8:47 am

@Single and Happy – I c u don’t think 2 highly of women. Just good 4 a romp?

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
8:53 am

single and happy

May 23rd, 2012
8:56 am

@ dumb dude hater, what gives you that idea? oh I see, what I meant was why can’t you have an intellegent conversation with and older/younger woman? I’ve dated all there (younger, same age, and older) and have had intellegent conversations with all three.

Dumb Dude Hater

May 23rd, 2012
9:08 am

@Single and Happy, thanks for explaining.

disco

May 23rd, 2012
9:32 am

ahhh… the spring chickens, the oldheads, the cougars, the young bucks. it all makes the world go round. I have actually spent quite a bit of time with a man 20 years my senior (the most recent ex). interestingly enough, the biggest issue between us had nothing to do with our ages. my friends think it’s straight up comical and crack jokes about worms and what have you. it’s all good though.

disco

May 23rd, 2012
9:32 am

sorry. forgot my manners. good morning.

abc

May 23rd, 2012
9:42 am

I’ve dated women 10 years younger, I don’t think I’d like younger than that. Partners are best suited if they experience life together from pretty much the same perspective. I’ve dated women 8 years older, the age difference wasn’t noticeable.

benita wheeler

May 23rd, 2012
9:44 am

online dating…whrere i find love is love…marriage, you have to be more logical….so it depends on the maturitylevel of each party…how much they really have in common.

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:03 am

Morning,

Dating and age differences is the topic I see. I have to be honest, most of the men I’ve dated has been about 3 – 5 years…..YOUNGER! Sorry but it’s true. That’s the group that approaches and for where I am in life, it’s all good. I’ve found the experience, perspectives, outlook are all pretty much mirrored and not far removed. I’ve had a couple of men 10 years my junior that were interested. In all honesty I cannot do that big of an age gap. Nothing wrong with the men but for that big of a gap perspectives and outlook differs vastly and outweighs…for me…the ability to mesh. For where I am now, I’m not impressed with that age group because a bunch of big words, the school you attended or just how logical you are and the effort behind your moves and steps in life ain’t my thing. I’m past that now. Don’t get me wrong smarts, intellect, insight are always needed but there’s a certain stretch on this highway where they’ve all become automatic and second nature. Nothing intentional for me about the steps and strides of life at this point. It’s sort of like being well on your way whereas for someone younger you’re just started out and there’s a level of caution and intention in setting the path in the right direction….I’M PAST THAT POINT….is where I’m going. So in essence, my age a couple of years younger or older. I’m not going to veer to far beyond my age in either direction.

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:03 am

have not has

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:09 am

disco – You’re gonna get worms from 65 and 70 year old men….LOLOL I’M KIDDING. I’ve always heard that though. Not sure if it’s a rumor and I’m not tryng to find out either…lol I’m gonna close shop by that age :)

Bluzgirl

May 23rd, 2012
10:16 am

I’ve always been attracted to older men. I cannot stand men my age or younger. I’ve always had older friends also and many people tell me I have an old soul. My recent ex was 13 years older than me and my ex before that was 21 years older than me. I’m now 32 and don’t want to date anyone too much older…I’m thinking about 40 is my limit now! :-)

The only age gap issues we had were when they would talk about things that were before my time. LOL! Other than that, it wasn’t that much of an issue.

Leggs

May 23rd, 2012
10:19 am

Morning.

I used to be attracted to older men, but not that I’m older I would prefer to date a younger man…the guys a few years older than myself walk old, talk old, look old and smell old (and too many rely on that blue pill and penis pumps).

disco

May 23rd, 2012
10:28 am

leggs – now that’s funny. walk/talk/look/smell old. hilarious.

C – we’re not up that high yet. lol.

a couple of weekends ago a friend and I were at a play. this OLD cat – probably 70s easy came up and started talking to me during intermission. I humored him. my friend thought it was hilarious and teased me about setting up a harem of old dudes.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:39 am

I’ve done 22 years my junior and wasn’t pressed. Really want to stick between 15 to 5 years my junior. I have never dated younger but maybe I should add that to my bucket list…….#shrugs

Morning.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:39 am

impressed that is……….

Mike P

May 23rd, 2012
10:40 am

My Dating Range: Females, Age 21 through – Age 28
My Fuggn Range: Females, Age 18 through – Age 40

Good Morning Folks!

i'm swiss

May 23rd, 2012
10:44 am

“The Age Gap” — Isn’t that what Ashton Kuchar called Demi Moore’s CT?

Randyt (what do you talk about after sex...or do you talk??)

May 23rd, 2012
10:45 am

Dayum leggs, that hurts, LOL. I may not be as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was!!! ;-) (well maybe twice…plus my once or twice lasts longer than my many did once, LOL)

One thing I have begun to notice a lot on Match is how many women put their own age as the top age they are interested in and the bottom ( too young) limit is set maybe 15 years below their age. My immediate thought is okay they want a “boy toy”. I respect heir wishes…another train will be pulling in soon ;-)

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:45 am

Lady – Alright nah! Get it, get it

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:46 am

well damn Mike P!!! lol

Randyt (what do you talk about after sex...or do you talk??)

May 23rd, 2012
10:47 am

Mike P you are too limiting. I think age 8 to 88 and not more than 8 days dead is appropriate ;-)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:47 am

lol C!!!! worms are scary!!!! lol a generation gap indeed. I couldn’t go off on a mid 50s man…..lol I have manners lol

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:49 am

Imma be honest here, I’m not doing or looking for a boy toy. I’m not in to getting “used.” I don’t like sex enough “for the experience” or just to ride it out for a while….lol As I’ve said a million times on here, I’m from that breed that catches feelings. I can’t be hanging on or turned out by some young dude. That’s not a good look.

Randyt (what do you talk about after sex...or do you talk??)

May 23rd, 2012
10:50 am

Besides Leggs, I may not be young, but I am terribly immature…that should even things out and make up the difference shouldn’t it?

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:50 am

Lady – Going off on a mid 50 dude? Feels like you’re yelling at your pops huh? LOL

disco

May 23rd, 2012
10:50 am

randy – I’m a woman and always amazed at the number of women that want the boy toys. even for playing I need a grown man. heck, I almost didn’t want the young cats when I was young. lol. by the way, I always heard “8-80, blind, crippled or crazy”.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:51 am

yep *shameful* I am sure my daddy is 57 now lol smh totally dead…..

Leggs

May 23rd, 2012
10:51 am

Randyt ~ in terms of your moniker, the best thing to ask after doing the do (if they’re staying cuz that’s the key) is to ask what would they like to eat (from the kitchen)!

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:51 am

I’m keeping with reality. Like I said earlier I’m closing shop while things are still good. I’m not gonna be “forced” to close….lolololol That too ain’t a good look.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:51 am

C love your 10:49. you summed up my dry humor! as always! lol ;)

Bluzgirl

May 23rd, 2012
10:52 am

One of the biggest issues when I dated the man that was 21 years older than me is his lack of sex drive! I was 23-26 when we were together, so you know I was in a prime!

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:53 am

Bluz that 22 year older guy played more games than a 35 year old. his new founded freedom from a 25 year divorce. its to be expected but not with me……do you humbly Mister~ lol

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:54 am

Bluzgirl – Chile they’re tired by then…lol Natually they can’t keep up with a twenty something year old

Why do I get the feeling Fion is watching me? He said I swear I’m 29 or 30…

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:54 am

I thought about Fion too sis!!!! I need a good laugh~

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
10:56 am

Lady – I also thought about him with the comment earlier about enduring 12″ for an hour or two. I thought to myself, heck that ain’t nothing. Fion is the reigning King Dong up in this piece…lol He’s hitting the waters effortlessly :)

I’m just cutting up.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
10:57 am

Randyt (what do you talk about after sex...or do you talk??)

May 23rd, 2012
11:01 am

Hey Leggs, I just realized my moniker was not conveying what I was trying to say. What I added to my screen name meant, “if you have a vast age difference, what do you talk about…”

My mistake, sorry….and yes when it doubt, hit the kitchen (if you aren’t too old, smelly, talk and act too old that is. LOL)

Mike P

May 23rd, 2012
11:03 am

@lady: what can I say? lol
those were the ages of the women I’ve dealt with so far.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 23rd, 2012
11:04 am

you got it Mike P~ ;)

kimmie

May 23rd, 2012
11:06 am

Morning All!!

I’ve only dated guys around my age, about 4 years younger/older is my limit. I dated one 10 years older and could not take it. Like Leggs said, everything about him was old and he was only late 40s at the time. Whatever age I am, I have a young spirit but at times an old soul, if that makes sense. Either way, I like being with someone with the same perspective/life experiences. When I was in high school/college, alot of my friends liked older dudes. I didn’t. I figured a mature dude wanted “mature” things and I was happy being a kid! I recognized I was not ready for a “mature” relationship.

Celisea....still digging William Levy, my "crossover"

May 23rd, 2012
11:13 am

I do need to back up a bit, when I was 28 I dated a dude 38. I’ve talked about him on here too, a great guy but set in his ways. He was so dang grouchy all the time. I COULD NOT deal with that. We weren’t ever exclusive or a couple because of that. We dated a lot off and on and I NEVER had anything intimate with him because of that and because I knew I wasn’t the only one. He said I needed to “show” I was serious by taking that step and I said in order to take that step, he needed to show me something I didn’t already know. And that’s where it stood. This was the dude that lead with his wallet and became somewhat of a stalker after realizing he was out a lot of money.

Leggs

May 23rd, 2012
11:13 am

Randyt ~ I doubt you are immature. Like Celisea stated, I’m not interested in a “boy toy” just to get by. Main reason why your friend didn’t stand a chance. Some just wants the experience of an older woman and then move onto another. I’m not looking for sex…hell, that’s easy to get, a dime a dozen.

Like Gwen Guthrie said “nothing going on but the rent…no finance, no romance” meaning, no relationship no sex just for the hell of having sex. The body can do without (lolol). Hell, even that made me laugh.