accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Exes and friendship?

When a relationship ends, you usually don’t just stop caring about the person. There are lingering emotions and sometimes attraction. So does this mean forming a friendship is a bad idea or the best idea?

When you go from friends to lovers then back to friends again, how should the dynamic change?

A lot of us have a particular ex who we prefer to pretend does not exist anymore, but what about the former loves who you really want to stay connected to? Those great people who turned out not to be a great match for you but you want in your life. Is it naive to expect a friendship or can it be done with good expectations and communication?

How many of your exes are you still friends with and have kept communication?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

217 comments Add your comment

Lily

May 22nd, 2012
7:21 am

No lingering friendships here. Put the past behind you.

FrankNErnest

May 22nd, 2012
8:30 am

I avoid the communication, as she is married now and so am I. I would be lying if I said I didn’t often fantasize about hooking back up with her every now and then though. She was like a nuclear bomb in bed!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
8:38 am

I still do, if we ended as friends. Not to keep the door open, but like you said, the caring just won’t stop, can’t stop, take that, take that..

Teena

May 22nd, 2012
8:48 am

Wow this is a topic I can relate to….I think it depends on how the relationship ended. If it was done tactful and with respect on both parts (ie, no cheating or lying). A friendship can eventually be redeemed. But I think there should be time apart to get rid of any lingering feelings especially if the breakup was onesided. I have exes that I probably would never speak to again, then I have some that I am friends with. Definately a case by case basis.

Row 125, Seat 11B

May 22nd, 2012
8:55 am

One of my best friends in the world is someone I use to date….To this day, I still love her and would do anything for her. She is now married to a great guy and they have a wonderful family…She trusted her relationship enough to come clean with him concerning our history and he and I are now cool enough to golf together a couple of times a month. I think the key is to be an adult and to make sure there is the highest level of respect shown…..

Bluzgirl

May 22nd, 2012
9:01 am

So far, I have only been able to remain close friends with one ex. We were a horrible match as a couple, but he was such a good person and fun to hang out with. We were together for three years off and on. When it finally ended, we tried the friends thing immediately and I couldn’t do it. It took me about 6 months of no communication before I was over the feelings and was able to see and talk to him. We remained good friends until he passed away in March.

The recent ex…I’m still undecided if we will ever be friends. Right now, I still want nothing to do with him. Who knows what the future holds. I have a feeling that I won’t want to be friends later…

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
9:11 am

Mixed answers on this one. I still maintain a friendly relationship with my ex-wife just because of family. It is/was just easier to put the animosity aside and that has been mutually beneficial. It has, however, caused problems with relationships since then. It is intriguing that sometimes they want to maintain a relationship with their exes but don’t want or understand that you might.

Lovers…now that is a different subject. Somehow wanting to “remain friends” is always easier for the “dumper” than the “dumpee”. I think it is, at least for me, too hard to keep a friendship with someone when emotions were once strong. Occasionally over the years I have touched base with my “transition lover” and she would really like to be friends, but frankly I still remember the pain and the betrayal and the rejection…and I don’t need the questions bubling to the surface. Is this petty on my part, maybe? What can I say, I am a textbook Scorpio and a poker player…when I go all in, I go all in.

For me, it is better to let the dead bury the dead and not look back. I highly doubt I would have anything to do with my ex-wife if it weren’t for the children we share.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
9:45 am

Morning all,

I think break-ups that end tumultuously will almost always have both parties swearing to never speak again. What I’ve found and learned about growth is as time heals all wounds, time has a way or dissipating anger….that is if you’re willing to grow and move on. With that being said, an ex is an ex and the ex stays an ex but simply because that season has passed. I didn’t always know or see it this way but like I said…I’m growing :)

I’m not looking to hang out or keep in touch but I’ve experienced swearing an ex boyfriend off, crossing paths years down the road only to find that anger you held to disappoint even you. It’s nowhere to be found…lol At the least I’m pleasantly surprised that we can speak or exchange pleasantries for a few minutes, mentally note “hey not as mad or as madly in love as I thought I was” and continue on with life. Will we break bread subsequent to that acknowledgement? Likely not. Is it benefiting releasing and growing and moving on? Most definitely.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
9:45 am

Morning All!!

Somehow wanting to “remain friends” is always easier for the “dumper” than the “dumpee”. Randyt, I SO agree with this!!!

I guess you could say I am still friends with one guy I used to date. But that’s because we were really good friends while we dated, true friends. He married over 10 years ago and lives in TX. His family still loves me and I was friends with his sister as well. Every now and then we exchange an email. He emailed a pic of his nephews and I emailed a wedding pic. That’s about the extent of our dealings, because we respect each other’s relationships. We are friends more on an intellectual level than anything.

All the other dudes I dated – no. I have never wished to remain friends, even those where there were no hard feelings. We were not friends before, so no need or desire to form a friendship after the breakup. I am fortunate that I have wonderful, lifelong friends that I don’t have to worry about spouses or SO’s getting jealous or uncomfortable. I hung out with my 2 best friends from college on Saturday and there was no threat of disrespect to my marriage or theirs.

I don’t care how “mature” all parties are, trying to hold on to some “friendship” after you’ve broken up is more trouble than it’s worth. Remain civil if you’ve got kids together. Otherwise, I’ve got enough friends already.

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
10:00 am

I guess I just don’t really see a reason keep exes around as friends, unless I’m still tapping it every now & then. I’ve got enough friends. Once I got started getting serious with Mrs. Swiss, all communication with my ex stopped. Not out of any animosity toward my ex, but more out of respect for Mrs. Swiss.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
10:03 am

@ Im swiss…when are you going to post those videos of your ex on YouTube? “Enquiring Minds Want to Know” (okay, just kidding)

Peter

May 22nd, 2012
10:04 am

I had an ex contact me 15 years later last year though Facebook…… she stated she was married so her last name was different. He question to me was……. “are you Happy ” ?

I never responded, and just deleted the message. My thoughts are why in the world would you contact me again ? That was the past, and really it brought up some anger in me…..I realized I was still in a way pissed at the ending, and the lies, from the way past.

I also wonder about this person who was cheated on many times over in the past via her other relationships, why she would contact a past relationship, and never considered how it might hurt her current husband if he found out ?

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
10:08 am

@Peter…interesting post. I strongly suspect that scenario is played out daily on FB. Things like that can cause more damage and hurt than anyone can know. Emotional affairs are just as damaging as physical ones…and usually start just like this.

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
10:08 am

Randy — LOL… I’m not that vindictive…

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
10:11 am

…But I am vindictive enough to keep those little cinematic masterpieces around just in case… LOL

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
10:12 am

@ swiss …I WAS just playin wit ya…just remembered your mentioning some, ahem, “interesting” videos. ;-)

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
10:14 am

There’s a difference in letting past hurt go between you and an individual versus trusting that breed that’s simply no good. Folks that are habitual cheaters or those that believe they’re slick enough to fish from the same pond, that’s who they are. There ain’t enough Kumbayaing in the world to make me dismiss character deficiencies…lol

disco

May 22nd, 2012
10:15 am

hey y’all. good morning. well I’ve already been down this path with y’all. I’ve got a few exes that I am friends with. two were family friends already when I got involved with them and are still ingrained in the family dynamic. they grew up with relatives of mine and are still friends with those same relatives today. I live in another state and so those two exes actually attend more of my family events than I do. lol. with the third guy there’s no family connection. there was no drama or animosity, we continue to speak by phone and if one of us is in the other one’s town we try to drop in. it’s his family reunion that I plan on “crashing” in Charleston later this summer. the odd thing is that all of these exes are from more than 10-15-20 years ago. my how time flies.

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
10:17 am

Randy — Oh, I know, dude.

But you know, I really do believe behind every dark cloud is a silver lining. And behind the dark cloud of my f__ked up relationship w/ my ex was the silver lining of some nice, homemade lesbo p0rn. And for that, I’m thankful. :lol:

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
10:22 am

swiss – ;-) …nothing more to say, just ;-)

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
10:24 am

disco – That’s actually cool that you are friends with those guys. Sounds like you all were “actual” friends before and during.

The few that really wanted to be friends with me after we broke up just wanted to hang around and keep ish going, I do believe!

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
10:26 am

“…just wanted to hang around and keep ish going”

Can you blame them, kimmie? You know you’ve got that fiyah booty. :lol:

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
10:36 am

Swiss – They lost all rights, priviledges therefore ascertained when we broke up!!LOL!! They just wanted to hang around and keep things messy! Not I!!

disco

May 22nd, 2012
10:39 am

kimmie – I don’t know that I’d say we were friends before so much as that they’d always been around and so everything was always comfortable. they have definitely cemented their place as friends of the family. even if I wanted to walk around acting stank towards them my family would probably just tell me to go sit down somewhere and then go fix them a plate. lol.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
10:41 am

@ kimmie…your 10:24 reminds me of a somewhat spooky incident. First let me say that long before there was caller id, my Mom always knew when the phone rang who was on the other end…she just knew. I inherited some of that…sometimes I just “know”. It was probably five years after my breakup with my “transition lover” and I hadn’t seen or talked to her in over three years. A friend called and suggested that we go to Johnny’s Hideaway and I had this strong premonition that I would see her, because she used to go there some. The feeling was so powerful that I was going to run in to her that I felt a major relief when he changed his mind and suggested another dance bar miles closer. We walked in to this bar and I’m there five minutes when I look up and guess who. I see her on the dance floor…and even with a change of plans, I still ran in to her. I had grown a beard and she did not immediately recognize me, but as she walked by I sort of lightly grabbed her arm and said “hello Barb”.

We talked for several hours and the chemistry was just as strong as ever. I contemplated (no I just wanted her right then and there, no contemplated) taking her back to her condo, but it was like a voice kept whispering in my ear, “don’t do it, don’t go there”. I listened to that voice and went home and took a cold shower (figuratively). The next morning I am sitting in North Point Community Church listening to Andy Stanley give a sermon about the “Holy Spirit”. All of a sudden he states that the “Holy Spirit” is a voice that comes in to your mind advising you “Dont’ Do It, Don’t Go There”. Exactly the same words I had been hearing in my head a few hours before.

Strange.

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
10:45 am

” the “Holy Spirit” is a voice that comes in to your mind advising you “Dont’ Do It, Don’t Go There”.

As opposed to the “Swiss Spirit” which would have been telling you, “Beat that puddy like it owes you money, dog!!!!” :lol:

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
10:46 am

Randyt – WOW is all I can say!! You and I are kindred spirits in that I have such a “gift” as well!! I think I get it from my mother and grandmother!!

Yes, that voice in your head is very much the Holy Spirit. I have learned to listen to it more and more over the years!!

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
10:48 am

LOL…i’m swiss…I wanted to, boy did I want to, but as I’ve said and truly believe, “there is no such thing as free sex…it all has a price tag”. If it is any consolation, there are times I have wanted to kick my own azz for not going home with her, but…

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
10:52 am

William Levy is the only forbidden I want to take home with me :)

Leggs

May 22nd, 2012
10:58 am

Good morning.

All I can say is I haven’t burned any bridges with any of my ex’s. They will remain ex’s but if I were to run into anyone of them, there’s no bad blood.

One particular ex’s laugh makes me cringe to this day. I just seem to tuck my head into my shoulders whenever I hear it. Like chalk on the board!

@Randy ~ when it’s that strong and you DON’T listen, harm usually comes to the person. Glad you took heed!!!

abc

May 22nd, 2012
11:07 am

I don’t maintain contact with any exes. I really don’t understand why anyone would. If my girl did, I wouldn’t like it one bit — I don’t believe that there are any male-female ‘just friends’. The potential is always there, usually not even under the surface, just right there.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
11:08 am

Okay, the blog nazi just ate a particularly imaginative post of mine. I knew i should have copied it just in case.

abc

May 22nd, 2012
11:08 am

The thing about following the Spirit is you have to listen for it. Not always easy to do, with all the racket and chaos of contemporary life.

disco

May 22nd, 2012
11:10 am

leggs – I know a few folks with voices that make me cringe.

abc – sorry to advise you but potential is everywhere. at least with exes a person might take the time to remember why they are exes. it might be all that new potential that you have to worry about.

abc

May 22nd, 2012
11:15 am

That’s why me and my girl adhere to a policy that doesn’t include the opposite sex.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
11:17 am

disco – I get what you are saying, but why invite trouble when there is really no need. And I’m not talking about your situation with your exes, but you get it.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
11:17 am

I agree with abc. Women don’t always comprehend this, but men usually have an agenda…even if even they are not aware of it. Think about it. If the hot young thing in the office needs some comforting conversation, and so does 60 year old Aunt Mildred…who gets the sympathy from the guys? Men seldom develop or continue friendship just toatally for the friendship’s sake. I know there are some exceptions, but not generally. I’ve said before that men smell vulnerability like a shark smeslls blood in the water. That is why, women should particularly avoid confiding in other men while in a marriage or a relationship…just not wise on any level.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
11:26 am

Randyt – I have to agree with you. There are exceptions, but it’s just not worth it generally, at least if either or both of you are in another relationship.

And sorry, all that “haven’t stop caring” is for the birds as well(generally). Sure, immediately following a breakup emotions are running high. That’s when you shouldn’t attempt maintaining a friendship anyway. For the most part, my exes are all good guys. I wish no harm on any of them. But do I still “care” like that – no I really don’t. I wish them well, but that’s it.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
11:27 am

I understand it all too well. I think friendship between a man and woman means sex is always on the table. I would have a problem with my SO being tight with an ex. It’s a matter of respect and a matter of not placing yourself in harm’s way. No I’m not jealous nor paranoid nor insecure but if I have to “watch it” and keep men at bay, tell me an ex of my SO is hot and he ain’t thinking what it would be like to bang her while she’s talking about something totally to the left? Just saying. Respect the boundaries. An affair is an incident just waiting to happen.

abc – Keep your policy. I live under the same premise. I’ve been told that I’m paranoid. Yeah right. No one wants to be in a situation that’s stifling but all to often we hear of folks saying “what had happened was” Maybe not all of us can attest to getting just a tad too friendly with someone taken but I’ve been there and it’s real.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
11:27 am

I chose to hang with her because she was good people; that we didn’t work out as a couple is a matter separate from her (or me) being good people.

As I generally don’t like people, why wouldn’t I want to keep the few that I do like around?

Y’all make things too complicated.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
11:33 am

Interesting…………..

disco

May 22nd, 2012
11:35 am

randy – I just love to hear a guy tell the truth about waiting on the opportunity to get in there. I hate when guys try to front like that’s not their motive. I feel like it’s almost always the motive even if they don’t believe they have much of a shot they still like to hang in there for the just in case.

dan – I’m siding with you today. still I think we are outside of the norm. sort of like when the topic of friends dating your exes came up. a lot of people have a huge problem with that. not me.

Mike P

May 22nd, 2012
11:37 am

I don’t befriend a women unless there’s ZERO attraction on my part.
If we’re friends, then we’ll never be, ever! lol
Ain’t gonna be no “let’s be friends first.” If I approach, you better recognize, its on! No? you don’t like my “all or none” approach, then you can fade to black! enough of yall out there, who needs you? bye bye!!!
When an Ex becomes… she’s delete from my habits and thoughts. just done.

Leggs

May 22nd, 2012
11:37 am

Some men love the chase, even if their conquest out runs them…some men are simply diehards at heart and never seems to give up. Not a good look.

disco

May 22nd, 2012
11:41 am

mike p – another shout out to honesty!!! guy I recently met trying to tell me he asked for my number because I looked like someone he wanted to get to know. I call BS. he asked for my number because I looked like someone he wanted to screw. he accused me of being one of those women who thinks everyone wants her. I replied with not everyone – just the guys who ask for my number. lol.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
11:48 am

@disco re: 11:41…that’s funny. I admit I use the “you seem like someone I’d like to get to know”. Technically speaking it is kind of hard to say “honey I want your number because I want to screw you”. LOL Can’t win ;-)

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
11:52 am

(I never could pull off the old, “Why don’t we get drunk and screw?” like the Jimmy Buffett song).

Robert

May 22nd, 2012
11:55 am

“How many of your exes are you still friends with and have kept communication?”

I never really quit seeing my exes. Keeping the lines of communication open are what real friends do. For example I have several exes who have gotten married over the years’ but we still remain friends and stay in contact. They usually call whenever they have a problem and need to talk to someone who will listen and not be judgemental. I try to be a “friend in need” without the drama associated with being friends with married women who call to talk but really want the life they once had. I had a few friends who wanted to continue a sexual relationship. I do not date married women or women in a committed relationship. I have a lot of respect for myself and my exes.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
12:00 pm

@Robert…I’m not disputing what you said, it is well written and logical. That said, do you ever wonder what the husbands of the married ladies are thinking when their wives confide in someone else…and specifically someone they were involved with? It may be innocent, but is it smart…for them? Seems dangerous to me, just does.

abc

May 22nd, 2012
12:06 pm

Any man that would intrude upon my relationship has a real problem on his hands, no matter what his opinion of it is. Serious problem.

In my younger days, I had no problem with living the Buffet song, Randy. Just as I once was a teenage boy, so I know what they’re after, I was also once in my 20’s, and was single in my 40’s. I know better than to think that truly platonic exists.

Leggs

May 22nd, 2012
12:16 pm

@Randyt ~ the husbands doesn’t know their wives are confiding in him (lol). I don’t know one man that would put up with that.

Interesting him not disrespecting himself nor his ex’s by sleeping with them, but they in turn still ask for a tryst with him (lol).

Robert

May 22nd, 2012
12:22 pm

@Randyt – Most women will never tell their husbands they keep in contact with their exes especially if he knows about him from the past. She is usually trying to protect his fragile feelings and does not want her husband to feel jealous and confront the ex-man. If their marriage is in trouble most women will look for the security a “good friend” can offer (house, money, etc.). Ex-men can also be a deterrent if there is abuse in the relationship (physical/mental). For example I had a friend who got into a fight with her husband because he caught her on the phone talking to me. He slapped her. I called the Police for her protection and went to her home. I told her husband “if he wanted to hit someone hit me” . I am 6′2″ 220 lbs in shape. He thought about the consequences of his actions and left the house.

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
12:24 pm

Afternoon All,

I don’t have many true exes as I’ve never really been the relationship type. I am friends with my sons mother as we were really good friends before our relationship. She is now married and I’m cool with her hubby as she is with my wife.
I am cool with a few old friend-girls but I try to respect the space. I know me and know that sooner or later……….
I’m still a flawed work in progress and every so often I’m on one but luckily I hadn’t completely went over the edge.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
12:26 pm

wow robert 0_o serious stuff~

abc

May 22nd, 2012
12:26 pm

You should have caught a cap, Robert.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
12:28 pm

@ Leggs re: “I don’t know one man that would put up with that”.

I have heard of some that would, and most of the time they ended up paying a horrible price. Divorce, painful breakup, sometimes even murder-suicide start with physical affairs. Physical affairs usually start with emotional affairs. Emotional affairs usually start with “confiding” or having inappropriate intimate conversations. It is what it is.

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
12:35 pm

Robert – ironically I had a very similar conversation with the sons mom husband. Not that he actually hit her but the convo centered around being physical with my son and/or his mom. In hindsight I was probably out of line but that was/is my thought process.

disco

May 22nd, 2012
12:36 pm

abc – agreed. he should have caught a cap, a right hook, a baseball bat or something. dude had no business going to that man’s house.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
12:37 pm

@ Robert…I understand that there are exceptions…and I understand that some, maybe many people are with someone they should not be with. I just know that it is human nature to typically default to the worst possible thought in the absence of all information. Like someone said earlier in a post…to paraphrase, “one should avoid placing themselves in problematic positions”. To me, emotional intimacy when one or both are involved is putting oneself in a”problematic position”. When i was raising my daughter, I taught her to try to never place herself in a vulnerable position…that it is better to not go to places alone with someone who she did not know very well, etc. Better safe than sorry.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
12:37 pm

Robert – Why were the two of you on the phone? That seems inappropriate…IMO No matter the issues, I don’t think a third person should have any jurisdiction between a married couple. If it was that bad, why didn’t she call the police? Since you showed up, I’m curious what you would have done had the husband come at you….I’m just curious That was pretty ballsy of you.

Leggs

May 22nd, 2012
12:41 pm

Exactly Randyt. Most men probaby would not be comfortable knowing his wife is confiding in another or better yet, even has a best friend in a male other than himself. Most affairs start in the mind. An emotional affair can be worse than a physical one. Once she or he has the mind, the body usually follows.

Leggs

May 22nd, 2012
12:44 pm

Celisea ~ wouldn’t you agree most men (ex’s) know the stature of the current, body, weight, punk or no punk (lol). It’s that knowledge that lets one go over to another man’s place and confront him. He knew he could kick his arse, and not get his handed back to him.

disco

May 22nd, 2012
12:44 pm

C – I just had to google this william levy character. must say – not bad.

disco

May 22nd, 2012
12:46 pm

leggs – bump that. I think back on good times when james told JJ that home is the one place where you don’t break and run from nobody. if I had a man that got punked like that I’d leave him immediately.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
12:46 pm

Leggs – I dunno.. I think he was ballsy and leaned on being the size he is. What I think he failed to consider is buddy could have been Prince’s height and a gun…lol He crossed the line talking to that man’s wife, he crossed the line calling the cops and he crossed the line showing up. I don’t know Robert personally and I don’t anything personal against him but FOR THIS SITUATION, HE SHOULD HAVE HAD THAT ASS TAPPED….and thoroughly.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
12:48 pm

disco – William can get it ANYDAY with me. Anyday, any time, anywhere…lol The pics don’t do him justice. You need to see him on tv, THEN you’ll understand my fantasy :)

abc

May 22nd, 2012
12:48 pm

Weapons make up for any other deficiencies when comparing one man’s ability to whup another man’s behind. Confrontation in a scenario that was absolutely none of his business, that he shouldn’t have been a part of anyway, was foolish. It’s not as if it was child abuse. The woman could either defend herself of call the authorities as she saw fit. None of his business. He’s lucky he escaped unscathed — if the tale is even true.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
12:48 pm

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
12:49 pm

Hey there Lady…how goes it??

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
12:50 pm

if the tale is even true.<<<<I was pondering that to a bit………..just read like wow really…………….

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
12:50 pm

just chillin’ C!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
12:51 pm

Again, complicated.

I’m not a proponent of butting in other folks bidness, but no male – and I mean no.male. – strikes a female in my presence. Be it on the phone or in person.

That’s some cowardly isht no matter the relationship or my involvement in it.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
12:51 pm

Yes IF it’s true, she probably wouldn’t have been slapped had she not been on the phone with another man.

Robert – In all your intentions and efforts for being a hero to your exes, consider your actions and put yourself in that man’s shoes. I don’t know ANY MANY ANYWHERE that’s cool with his wife turning to another man. Whether anything phsical is involved or not.

disco

May 22nd, 2012
12:53 pm

alright C. you sounding like that old janet jackson song.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:02 pm

All things considered…right now, I would rather be lying on the beach in Cabo, beside a beautiful woman, and having the beach bartender bring me a marguerita every 20 minutes until he sees my head in a trash can…then every 40 minues after that. I really need a break.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:03 pm

disco – Here you go…he’s a good one :)

http://twitter.com/#!/willylevy29/media/slideshow?url=pic.twitter.com%2FQ6MRZxqM

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:05 pm

here’s not he’s

Not sure why that entire link didn’t work. I took it from the url

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
1:09 pm

RandyT- ditto, 2.5 wks and counting down. Ugh

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:09 pm

Lady – You said that like Bro Man from the “fif flo” (while holding up 4 fingers)…lol

Leggs

May 22nd, 2012
1:09 pm

James gave JJ some good advice, disco!

“I think he was ballsy and leaned on being the size he is.” – I thought he leaned on his size as well as the presence of the police.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:10 pm

lol smh Love me some Martin!

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:11 pm

Well I won’t be downing drinks (I don’t think) but in less than two months I’ll be in Orlando with a bunch of other “grown folks.” Condos already reserved as well as rental cars. Like we always do, just about every night out on the town…eating, dranking and making merry :)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:13 pm

yep summer is coming a vacations far far away along with concerts in between…………good times await~ enjoy C~

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:14 pm

Lady – I plan to :) I’m still looking to get away to the Carribean later this year…awwwwwww sookie sookie nah

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:14 pm

no one is biting @ Frankie Beverly, The O’Jays(this is who I want to see), Patti LaBelle concert lol

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:14 pm

I wonder how many Delta skymiles to Cabo…and how many Marriott points I need? …or maybe Costa Rica?

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:16 pm

I’m still holding out for Thailand for a few weeks on the company dime…Phuket I hear you calling.

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
1:19 pm

Cel – are you actually going to partake in the festivities this time? Just remember to use a spoon for dessert. Hahaha

Lady – Frankie Beverly and the Ojays? That may be a lil too grown for you. J/k

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:21 pm

WillieD – I can’t wait!!! Spooning dessert you say? Spooning dessert it will be then…lol

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:22 pm

lol I can handle it WD…….I want to see the O’Jays bad. I remember one december I skipped going to see them for a Falcons game. I shall be there July 19th………….lol

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:22 pm

Where are you heading WD?

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:24 pm

I just hope Aunt Flo either hold off or come ahead of my vacation. Talk about vacation blues…gheesh

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:25 pm

lol your dry humor is funny today C~ smh

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:26 pm

Lady – That’s the worse. Carrying or stopping for “items” while sunning and funning

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:31 pm

I’m shocked C…the commercials make it look like you will be wearing skimpy light colored shorts and doing sommersaults!!! Are you suggesting it isn’t like that? ;-) When I was still married, we would do the family vacations, and it wasn’t usually hard to figure which sister-in-law had the curse.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 22nd, 2012
1:31 pm

What up…had this discussion recently….I have two exes that I still speak with semi-regularly….every so often we talk, how’s life and whatnot, there is no discussion of a return to the old, just two friends checkin on one another….and yes ladies, the Mrs. knows about them…lol

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
1:37 pm

RandyT – The Dominican

Cel – spooning huh? You cutting up now. Hahaha

Lady – what venue are they performing?

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:37 pm

I think everyone does what they need to do to make their life as “uncomplicated” as possible. If you need to cut all ties and move on, so be it. If you are able to maintain and everyone involved is happy, do you.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:38 pm

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:38 pm

Kimmie my thoughts exactly 1:37…………….

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:39 pm

Sometimes, just “knowing about” a situation isn’t enough either. I may not choose to make a big deal out of something, but that doesn’t mean I’m “cool” with it either. Just choosing my battles.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:39 pm

@WD …Punta Cana?…I’ve heard it is awesome.

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
1:44 pm

On the “confiding in exes” topic — I’ll take it a step further & say that, honestly, I think confiding too much of your personal relationship issues with anyone other than your mate is pretty disrespectful. Our business is our business. Some things should be kept entirely between the two of us. Period.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:48 pm

Swiss – Bulldog fist-pound on that 1:44. My sentiments exactly.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:49 pm

@ I’m swiss…EXACTLY!!!!

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Lady – FB should rock Chastain. I’m picturing the Ojays in a lil more intimate setting. Have fun.

RandyT_ yep PC and looking forward to enjoying it thoroughly.

Jake – wassup?

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Confiding in an ex for my personal relationship issue ain’t happening. All my friendships and associates aren’t equal. I can be friendly and cordial with an ex…..

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Randyt – Nooooo, don’t be fooled by the commercials…DO NOT BE FOOLED…LOL

WillieD – Just taking after you :)

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Hey Lady!! You loves the concerts, don’t you? I do too, one of my favorite things to do, especially at Chastain.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:51 pm

Like they said in “The Rock”…”that’s on a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know”.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:52 pm

Hi Kimmie!!!! I do an dlike you I love Chastain!!!!! ;)

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:53 pm

Actually, I’m not confiding too much in folks period. People aren’t always on your side and in your corner like they’ll portray. Most can’t hear the situation out for passing mental judgement and happy for your adversities. Most stay drunk on hater-ade So nope, nunya

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
1:53 pm

Too much is relative

Everyone needs a confidant outside each relationship (romantic or otherwise) because we all have blind spots in those relationships. To ask someone that knows me well “am I wrong if” is about perspective.

At the end of the day the only thing I want is to make my wife happy; and if that means I need to be straightened out by someone else when my pride about being right gets in the way, then so be it.

Can I do this on my own, yeap; but that typically leads to one or both of us stewing about some isht for longer than need be.

PS: I encourage her to do the same

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:54 pm

I saw FB at Chastain years ago. Of course, he rocked it!!!

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:56 pm

Kimmie I’ve seen him annually in the last dew years Babyface normally opens and guess what he is opening this year too!!!! I love it its a great show but to add the O’Jays I am like YAY! ;)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:56 pm

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:58 pm

I would go so far as to say that most people who you confide in tend to offer advice through their own pain or bad experience and it usually is not the same as something they are hearing. I remember being in small groups with en and they would transpose their own situations on to others, failing to recognize that each incident stands on its own merits.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:59 pm

If you can introduce your confidant to your spouse and him/her can come to social gathers then its no big deal right?!? If there is no grey area then by all means do it your way…….

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:59 pm

Dan – Do what works for you and yours and be happy. Like you said, it’s not that complicated.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
2:01 pm

and as I heard as a child, “FREE ADVICE IS USUALLY WORTH ABOUT WHAT IT COSTS”.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:02 pm

Ain’t no way in H– I’m confiding jack to an ex.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm

@Kimmie

You know me that’s an all day – Hope all is well with you an yours.

But as always, I’m here to shed some light on a darkened corner. Folks so prideful and worried about what other people think about them (and their relationship) that they can’t take what’s needed.

I could give a fugg about what the tree think once I get my apples…isallimsaying

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm

Man, what is the world coming to? Boy Scouts being taught to be snitches at an early age:

http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/05/22/8-businesses-busted-for-selling-alcohol-to-minors/

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm

Randyt – Yep, to all your posts!

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:08 pm

I’m here to shed some light on a darkened corner

Alrighty then. Not sure what qualifies you to recognize “darkness” or what qualifies you to be the expert but many of your posts would have me to believe you might need to live a bit longer before becoming an expert.

I’m just backing away right now.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:09 pm

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
2:10 pm

Cel – C’mon now if you were taking after me your Halo would be traded in for horns. IJS, I know I know shet it up. Hahaha

Dan – you sounding like a Married dude more and more.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:11 pm

Hey Dan, all is wonderful with me!

I get what you’re saying, I can just relate better to a different point of view. I’m a bit arrogant and prideful as far as how I handle my relationship. I know best. But there have been a few incidents that stumped even me. I chose carefully who I confided in and I’m not too much of a know-it-all to take their advice. One subject in particular is killing me to not bring up, but I see where it won’t be very welcomed so I bite my tongue, for the good of the relationship.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 22nd, 2012
2:11 pm

What’s going down WillieD…..@Kimmie, why would you not be cool with it, if you trust your mate…I always like this topic because it reveals a lot about the character of a person’s relationship and that person themselves. It isn’t enough to say you trust me, you have to back it up by doing it. I can only speak for myself, but what I described isn’t just a one way. My wife has informed that she has been contacted by a former ex before, I do think much of it, never will. If it were to become an issue, then I’d be responsible for knowing that I provided no resistance, but that I could live with. If I need to police you, I don’t need you…and as my Uncle Ed once told me, if a woman let someone else in that kitty, you won’t know the difference anyhow?

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:13 pm

WillieD – Actually I have both installed. I just have the horns retracted right now. My halo is shining through for the darkened corner in which we sit…lol Horns are released as needed…ha ha ha And yes….SHET IT UP!! :)

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 22nd, 2012
2:16 pm

don’t…and it wasn’t no dayum Freudian slip neither…lol

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:16 pm

Where is Elijah today? That might be my new blog boo :)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:16 pm

I am not confiding in a ex simply bc I don’t want his POV but male friends and associates maybe…….but I can converse with an ex on the surface. nothing here or there…..

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

I dunno, there’s just something that seems out of sync when confiding in an ex where you have your SO first and foremost and then current friends. Why go back to the ex for confiding?

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

@Kimmie – I’m glad

@WillieD – I heard a saying about work that I use at home “submit (to the foolishness)’

@Cel – I’m no expert at nothing but being me.

@anyone else – a wise man knows that he doesn’t know everything. A wiser man knows that the correct answer is the only thing that really matters. And at the end of the day I’m just sharing – take it or leave it. I was a prideful and single man; but, I’d (personally) hate to let me pride (being right, worried about what anyone other than the people I love think about me – and worrying about them too tough eithr) get in the way of my family’s happyness.

If I have to take the hit to get it/keep it right, I’m built for it.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:19 pm

for example sports, music, our kids, car stuff…………….

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
2:19 pm

Swiss/Jake – bout that time again. I’m good for next week. AND fyi 2:13, hot dayum we may get more outta Cel next time than a Diet Coke.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:19 pm

Dan – Good for you

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:20 pm

anywhoo yeah C ;) !!!

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:20 pm

Jake – My statement was a general one, not just concerning exes. For example, I respect hubs as a grown man. I’m terrified of motorcycles and he knows this. If he would come in today and tell me he’s getting a motorcyle, I would not be cool with it and he knows it. But I would not “forbid” him doing it, nor act the fool about it. I know if I’m cool, he’ll probably even lose interest in doing it. Win! :cool:

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
2:21 pm

Oh, and for the record (saying of the week), the D is not referring to an ‘ex’, he’s referring to friends, family, and loved ones when speaking on advice.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:22 pm

WillieD – I’ll step it up to a “virgin” drink next time. How’s that for getting more? :) I’d say that’s one up better than a diet coke…lol

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:23 pm

Get a Shirley Temple C! ;) Enjoy too lol!

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:24 pm

Lady – Got to be careful….wolves run in packs

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:25 pm

What’s a good liquor to add to a Shirley Temple, to make it grown?

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:25 pm

hush C now we not starting that rhetoric this late in the day hahahaha

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm

C – Speaking of wolves, hubs & I watched this movie over the weekend called The Grey. It was good, but :(

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm

some type of brandy or maybe disaronno liqueur

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:27 pm

Kimmie – LOL

Lady – WillieD tryna make me cut up. You know that’s what he does best…lol

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:29 pm

Kimmie – The Grey? Okay, Imma have to check that out. Not scary is it? Y’all know I can’t do scary movies…lol I took my mom to the hair salon last week. When I got there they were watching the movie with the chick from Little Red Riding Hood/Big Bad Wolf (can’t think of the title), where this man kidnaps her first and then her sister. Everybody thinks she’s crazy and she’s on a hunt for him and her sister. Chile I was on the edge of my seat. I had to pull out a game on my phone. I couldn’t watch it all.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:32 pm

Celisea – It is suspenseful in kind of a scary way.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
2:33 pm

On topic…the proble that sometimes does not get recognized is that just because you are cool with telling others about your relationship does not mean that your spouse/SO is cool with it! One of those painful lessons I have had to learn is just because my life is an open book does not mean that the person I am with’s life is also. Better to err on the side of discretion…safer and keeps one out of trouble.

As a salesman’s sign in his office said. “Sampson killed ten thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an Ass…fifty thousand sales are killed daily with the same weapon”.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:34 pm

Lady – Both of those sound like they would be good.

Mr. Unknown

May 22nd, 2012
2:34 pm

I’m sure this has been discussed already

So does this mean forming a friendship with an ex is a bad idea or the best idea? Depends on the level of love, how it ended, where did you guys start as.

I think because your ex possess a lot of your personal secrets that it feels easy to confide in that person again even after the relationship is over but its a bad idea. It comes down to respect for your current partner. Lakers suck!

Elijah

May 22nd, 2012
2:34 pm

I agree with Mr. Jake… Topics like this always reveal a lot about the character of a person;s relationship and the person themselves. I have ex’s who I have remained friends with for years. I do not listen to relationship problems you will have to consult someone else. past Now that we are older some of my ex’s are no longer are attractive to me.

Celisea- You can tell me…

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:35 pm

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 22nd, 2012
2:36 pm

For the record…I definitely believe in keeping the business of your relationship within your relationship. I commenting on continuing to have friendships with exex, I don’t tell’em nothing bout the inner workings.

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
2:37 pm

Cel- for the record I try keep my horns retracted as well. Sometimes tho they have a mind of there own. Stay away from the virgin drinks and the shirley temple. Shiiiid that’s just small talk . We looking forward to the shoe show hahaha

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:38 pm

my issue isn’t the ex mate its maybe a current mate keeping in touch with former mates family yeah disco hashed this out and many folks do this I am from the country and see it all too often however I don’t subscribe to it. I never hung around my ex husband family six years strong. I will compromise with a current mate to a degree. give and take

Elijah

May 22nd, 2012
2:42 pm

Did someone say shoe show…. I need to get in on this meet and greet..

If your wife or woman cannot come to you with the problem, then sir u already have a problem. If I have to worry about someone else getting it, I need to step right away.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:42 pm

alright folks!!!! C hold it down with those fiyah shoes honey!!!!! hahaha

peace out~ ;)

disco

May 22nd, 2012
2:42 pm

Elijah – re the ex no longer being attractive. I definitely have to admit that I do get gassed up when my exes compliment me. more so than when a run of the mill new guy compliments me. there’s something about them having known the before (little skinny 100 pound flat-chested project me) and the after (got my grown woman weight and professional on and you can’t tell me nothing me) and knowing they were checking for the before and feeling the after is a big ego boost.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:43 pm

Hey there Elijah! So I just beckon and you come? I LOVE it :) :) Right now I have nothing to tell :) I’m leaning on you though if gonna be my blog boo…check yes or no

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:44 pm

See all the “can’t discuss this, can’t discuss that,can’t do this, can’t do that” – why not make it easy on you and your SO and just don’t do it?

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:45 pm

WillieD – If I come, I’m wearing flip flops :) Ha!!

Elijah

May 22nd, 2012
2:48 pm

Hello Ms. Lady!

C- Your Blog man is here!

Often times it seems once we are in relationships we expect someone to give up something especially if they are still communicating with an ex’s or remain friends with the ex’s family. You need to ask yourself is it me or is it something I see in him/her that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:49 pm

By Lady :)

I have a friend that booked a hotel room for one of his boys. You can image the backlash from the wife and the uproar at home. Well he called me upset. He said he told the truth and wasn’t going to continue to have her going around and around with it…said he was done discussing. So…..I listened and let him finish. Then I told him first and foremost, if he wanted to stay married, marriage comes first. I didn’t really get into the hotel room issue (cause frankly I wasn’t sure either) but I just said no matter how innocent you are or she for that matter in her issues, you have to do things conducive and that keeps both happy. So if booking a hotel room is a problem, talk to her about it first or don’t do it at all. I told him being a woman I can imagine how it feels getting left with it on the cc bill. His arguement was if he was doing something on the side he would have hid and took another route. But that wasn’t the first time I had to tell him, check with your honey first.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:51 pm

Elijah you so right it is a “me” issue that is why I have dealt with it………..its been okay (nothing suspect) lol Hey there too!!!!

Bye C LOL!

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:54 pm

Alright now Elijah, don’t have ole Celisea growing weak in the knees. Your coming out of lurking at the call gives me the blog heebee jeebees :)

So you checked yes?

disco

May 22nd, 2012
2:58 pm

Celisea – boy oh boy. the creep cover up stories I could tell. once many years ago a female friend borrowed my apartment to creep on her man. it was a hookup after the club and in the meantime I went to her house. how come her man came home while I was there. he wasn’t living there at the time and didn’t have a key but it was mad awkward being up in there while he was banging on doors and windows trying to get in. another friend was out creeping one night and I guess she had a close call. my phone rang in the middle of the night and she asked me to wake up so she could give me the details that I needed to cover for her. the funny thing is that she kept saying “are you up? are you awake?” guess she wanted to make sure I got the story straight.

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
2:59 pm

As for the who/what/when and how much you discuss about your relationship; I don’t place much stock in any of it personally. At the beginning and end of the day we have to work it out together. Whether your confidant is an ex, therapist or church pastor if we can’t move forward then it really doesn’t matter. To each their own.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
3:02 pm

C – One should avoid even the appearance of impropriety. It should not be left up to me, as a wife, to have to figure in my head “well if he WAS up to something, he wouldn’t be so brazen as to put it on the cc bill, WOULD HE?” The mind is a powerful thing. It can have you imagining all kinds of things going on.

I trust you until you give me a reason not to. If there are too many times I have to sit down and figure things out, at some point I am being played. Don’t even mess with me like that. When things are on the up and up, your mind is at ease and your SO keeps it that way by their actions.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
3:05 pm

disco – I covered for a friend ONE TIME, fresh out of college, and I never did it again for anyone! My friends know don’t get me involved in their messes!! I’m not getting shot in the crossfire!!!

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
3:05 pm

I would agree with this with a caveat, “If your wife or woman cannot come to you with the problem, then sir u already have a problem”. This is true but two things that need to be considered before following this path, 1) if you start confiding in others, you may soon have a BIGGER problem, and 2) the only people who don’t have problems are usually in a cemetary somewhere…everyone else has them. This confiding can make small problems big ones more often than the reverse. ( I may have a t-shirt or two on this…let me look).

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:07 pm

disco – LOL…that’s funny asking if you’re awake. I tell you that just seems like so much work keeping stuff straight. Just not worth it…IMO I guess back then or during that time, to them it was…

For this dude, honey I was a constant for him bouncing things off of me or as he said, I was the right that kept him straight. I will never forget when he introduced me to his wife, aunt and cousins. Boy did I get the cold shoulder. I told him that came from prior shenanigans. Of course he denied… Oh, how about him coming by the house and doing lunch, bringing his son. He brought around me so much the kid started recognizing me. How about he jumped in my arms around his aunt and again, another awkward moment. He would call me for EVERYTHING. Most of the time it would be things he knew wasn’t right or would upset home and wanted to do but knew he shouldn’t. Sometimes he needed me to say “go home”… I know he didn’t “need” me like that but I just think he was so torn all the time and struggled with it. That’s the one I told the blog he told me when he married his wife he was really in love with another. The one he said he never got over moved to NY. Yeah, he ran with a pack of wolves…yessiree. So many times he’s asked me to hang with him and wolves but I don’t because I don’t want anyone to ASSUME anything so I ALWAYS declined…hanging with the wolf pack. Nuh uh.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:09 pm

Kimmie – I’m just seeing your 3:22…exactly. The Good books says shun the very appearance of evil. It’s not a matter of worrying about what others thinks or saying as long as I know it’s not wrong or I’m innocent. Sometimes you do have to do things for the sake of the other person…for the sake of their happiness and their sanity. If they mean that much to you.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
3:10 pm

The rule of thumb here is that if you would be uncomfortable confiding with someone while your wife/husband/SO was standing right there, then you shouldn’t be telling it. In this, to use Dan’s phrase, it isn’t complicated.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:11 pm

Elijah did you leave? Come back and hang out with us :)

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
3:12 pm

Randy — +1 on that 3:10

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
3:13 pm

Willie D / Cel / Jake / any others — Did you have a specific day/time/location in mind?

Bluzgirl

May 22nd, 2012
3:14 pm

I do believe we all need someone to confide in about issues, but there is a line. You have to be careful how much you reveal and who you choose to talk to. My ex confided in one of his female friends about me and she ended up talking ish about me and disrespecting me. (This is the same friend I told ya’ll about that I made it difficult for him to talk to). You have to be respectful to your mate. There is a very fine line on too much information.

After today, I just have two more work days until I go to Charleston!!!!!

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
3:14 pm

i would never cover for anyone, nor would I expect them to cover for me. Dig your own grave dude, I’ll dig mine alone thank you.

DreamsMaterialize

May 22nd, 2012
3:15 pm

Hey how’s everyone doing? What are we talking about now? And is that Elijah from back in the day back on the set? What’s good man? I see Celly Cel done got a blog boo…I’m saying.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:16 pm

Swiss/Willie/Jake – If we’re talking next week Thursday? I don’t mind the location as long as getting there won’t cause me to be turned around…lol

Elijah

May 22nd, 2012
3:17 pm

Of course I check yes!

Celisea I am going out this Friday with some co-workers and they some of the ladies have that look in their eyes. I am letting you know in advance since I am your blog boo…

Robert

May 22nd, 2012
3:18 pm

@Randyt & Celisea….William Levy is my “cross over” – The reason we were on the phone was discussing how to help her resolve her marriage issues (abuse). She had enough of his bullsh!t and was looking for someone to help her remove her things from the house. She had no family and very few friends who live in ATL. I called the Police because I knew he was a coward and would take his fustrations out on her. When I arrived I put her in my car and confronted her husband. I knew he was a sucker and a coward so even if he had a gun he would be too afraid to use it. I stayed at the house until the Police arrived and escorted him away. I would do the same thing again if she needed help. That’s what friends are for.

Elijah

May 22nd, 2012
3:18 pm

What’s Mr. DM… All is well!
How are u and the kids doing?

disco

May 22nd, 2012
3:20 pm

randy – these days I wouldn’t cover for the creeper. I might give some “how to get away with your creep move” advice but I wouldn’t volunteer to lie to the significant over. these stunts were way back in the late teens early 20s. life has been pretty vanilla since then. lol.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:22 pm

Elijah – In real life you can do as you please :) My blog boo is strictly virtual. Tell me about this “look” though…sounds interesting. You got it like that ey? Don’t go trying to make Celisea jealous now. I don’t take to kind to other ladies. That’s real life…lol But again, it’s all virtual and all good. Have a blast Friday :) You can’t post your shenanigans in virtual land though.

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
3:22 pm

Swiss- whenever after Tues and anywhere and I’m good.

DreamsMat – you gotta come hang out man.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
3:23 pm

@ Robert, i have nothing but contempt for men who hit women…I think they are cowards and scum and chicken syhtes. Sounds reasonable to me in this instance. I just think that as a rule, people should not confide in others regarding their relationships…abuse excepted however.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:23 pm

I’m not covering for grown folk shenanigans either. That’s too dangerous and too much work. Shoot don’t go telling me, I might start preaching at you….lolololol

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:25 pm

If you gentlemen don’t mind can we do Wednesday or Thursday? Friday I’m busy :)

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
3:25 pm

You got a hot date on Friday, C? You cheating on us??? :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

May 22nd, 2012
3:27 pm

DreamsMat – you gotta come hang out man.
Willie I’m down. Weekends are usually best for me, although I might be able to make some room during the week after this week (school lets out). Where’s everyone trying to go?

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:27 pm

Robert – You know I’m against domestic violence. I just think that situation from what you posted seemed volatile and I’m not sure taking that on was the right thing to do. You could have been shot or killed. Just a good thing buddy didn’t take it there. You being in the grave would not have resolved or accomplished a thing.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
3:27 pm

;-) I understand disco, I just am one of those guys who, if I have the urge to step out, believe that means I should not be in the relationship to begin with. I might walk out of the door (read relationship), but I won’t betray it. I’m kind of weird that way. Never seen a lot of sense in effing around…I’m either in or out, no in between (terribly old fashioned, I know).

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:29 pm

Swiss – I do :) You know I have nothing but love for all of you though :) I can’t do saturday, I have a hair appointment. And nobody bet’not say a thing about my hair. My appoint ain’t until Saturday. If y’all gonna love me, you have to take the good with the bad (i.e. nappy hair).

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
3:29 pm

I say keep it simple Thursday same place same time.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:31 pm

Thanks Willie…I have it locked in. Thursday May 31st right?

Dreams – Taco Mac off Piedmont 6:30

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:33 pm

Robert – My 3:27…I meant was NOT the right thing to do

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
3:38 pm

Wow….my team here in Atlanta just received an email from one of our execs that we’re doing a prescreening of Madagascar (sp) 3 and breakfast. It’s for us and clients and kids but that’s really cool. See, I just love it here sometimes.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
3:52 pm

Anyone buy any Facebook stock? The price keeps dropping. Buy low, sell high!

DreamsMaterialize

May 22nd, 2012
4:11 pm

Anyone buy any Facebook stock? The price keeps dropping. Buy low, sell high!
kimmie I think that’s why analysts cut revenue estimates for Facebook and only told a handful of investors during the IPO roadshow. This way the stock valuation would go down, they could buy low, and then when FB performs better than the analysts’ “estimates” the value would increase, making the few who were in the in-circle lots of money.

abc

May 22nd, 2012
4:27 pm

FB has dropped 20-25% in 2 days since opening of the IPO. I don’t think it’s a good time to buy. It could easily drop another 20-25% — IPO strike price was seriously over-valued.

abc

May 22nd, 2012
4:29 pm

I think most people believe that inside 5 years, Facebook will be history, or degraded along the lines of MySpace. Google+ will never take off. Microsoft’s so.cl won’t make it out of research. Some other combination of things not yet on the street will supplant all of them.

Exiled!

May 22nd, 2012
4:45 pm

Tardy to the party!

I liked the ‘nuclear bomb in bed’ comment

Facebook?

Hmmmmm,will see..the price could go up or way down

Social networking is too crowded. They have to have a unique revenue generation model to be able to up their valuation

Hey y’all (waving)

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
4:46 pm

MMeelloo – I was just thinking about you earlier today…I was I thought you know, I miss MMeello’s shenanigans.

Exiled!

May 22nd, 2012
4:52 pm

Hey Cel..so I’m Mr Shenanegans ha?
Let’s make the tag stick…together! :lol:

Hw u doing Sexxy?

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
4:57 pm

MMeello – Not THOSE kind of shenanigans. Cutting up and getting folks riled with your comments….kind of shenanigans. Sometimes they ca-rack me up…lol You calling me Sexxy? Or are you talking to someone else? Let me make sure before I steal someone else’s compliment…lol How have you been?

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
4:57 pm

You know sexxy with two Xs spills over into erotica right? I’m kidding…lol

Exiled!

May 22nd, 2012
5:01 pm

Guuud! Cel

Really guud!

Hope same with u..

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
5:02 pm

I’m doing well. The world ain’t perfect but I’m living and alive. Glad all is well with you.

Alright I have to get out of here. Mmelloo, pop in tomorrow. It’s okay if you have to blog from your phone. I’ve done it when not at work and I’m sure others do or have done.

Night folks!

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
5:03 pm

Oh….tell me tomorrow about the new thingy you took on….how that’s going.

cny

May 22nd, 2012
5:40 pm

This caught my eye bc I am a little bored at work and bc of recent events with several of my exes In general, until last year, I had always been cordial or friendly (minimum a polite hello/how are you, to actually keeping up with some exes). Then I had both extremes in a year: worst, my live-in ex started stalking me after we broke up (because of the next ex I will describe) and it took 11 months of restraining orders, his being arrested, etc to finally get him convicted of stalking. I have worked hard not to harbor resentment or anger but I want absolutely NOTHING to ever do with him and it has proven difficult since we run into each other at certain business networking functions, he continues to follow me on a couple of websites and he moved back to within a mile of me.

At the other and wonderful end of the spectrum is the next ex. We dated for most of last year and he was there for me through ALL the insanity. He is one of my best friends in the world – like the kind of best friend who called me every day for a week after my dog died in March then bought me a new one two weeks ago. We are having dinner tonight and we talk/text/FB most every day. The reasons we broke up were basically mutual and we have worked hard to keep a connection. That being said, the guy that I dated after him for the last six months probably didn’t get enough of my attention bc of how close I stayed with my ex. And yes, the ex and I still slept together until the boundaries were exclusive with the third guy.

The last ex and I are more like what my typical relationship with them has been- ran into him for the first time last Fri, two weeks post break-up. He was on a date and ignored me (that was fine) but when she came out to where I was to smoke a cigarette she started talking to me and we hit it off. I didn’t say anything til the servers (it is a place I go all the time and where he and I used to go all the time) asked if things were ok, when I simply said to her that he and I used to date and recently broke up, and turned the conversation back to dogs. When he finally came out bc she was gone so long, I was polite, he looked uncomfortable – then when it was clear he wanted to go back inside, she hugged me. Taking the high road- or excommunicating someone CLEARLY dangerous and not worth keeping are my position on this.