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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Exes and friendship?

When a relationship ends, you usually don’t just stop caring about the person. There are lingering emotions and sometimes attraction. So does this mean forming a friendship is a bad idea or the best idea?

When you go from friends to lovers then back to friends again, how should the dynamic change?

A lot of us have a particular ex who we prefer to pretend does not exist anymore, but what about the former loves who you really want to stay connected to? Those great people who turned out not to be a great match for you but you want in your life. Is it naive to expect a friendship or can it be done with good expectations and communication?

How many of your exes are you still friends with and have kept communication?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

217 comments Add your comment

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:39 pm

Sometimes, just “knowing about” a situation isn’t enough either. I may not choose to make a big deal out of something, but that doesn’t mean I’m “cool” with it either. Just choosing my battles.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:39 pm

@WD …Punta Cana?…I’ve heard it is awesome.

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
1:44 pm

On the “confiding in exes” topic — I’ll take it a step further & say that, honestly, I think confiding too much of your personal relationship issues with anyone other than your mate is pretty disrespectful. Our business is our business. Some things should be kept entirely between the two of us. Period.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:48 pm

Swiss – Bulldog fist-pound on that 1:44. My sentiments exactly.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:49 pm

@ I’m swiss…EXACTLY!!!!

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Lady – FB should rock Chastain. I’m picturing the Ojays in a lil more intimate setting. Have fun.

RandyT_ yep PC and looking forward to enjoying it thoroughly.

Jake – wassup?

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Confiding in an ex for my personal relationship issue ain’t happening. All my friendships and associates aren’t equal. I can be friendly and cordial with an ex…..

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Randyt – Nooooo, don’t be fooled by the commercials…DO NOT BE FOOLED…LOL

WillieD – Just taking after you :)

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:50 pm

Hey Lady!! You loves the concerts, don’t you? I do too, one of my favorite things to do, especially at Chastain.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:51 pm

Like they said in “The Rock”…”that’s on a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know”.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:52 pm

Hi Kimmie!!!! I do an dlike you I love Chastain!!!!! ;)

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
1:53 pm

Actually, I’m not confiding too much in folks period. People aren’t always on your side and in your corner like they’ll portray. Most can’t hear the situation out for passing mental judgement and happy for your adversities. Most stay drunk on hater-ade So nope, nunya

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
1:53 pm

Too much is relative

Everyone needs a confidant outside each relationship (romantic or otherwise) because we all have blind spots in those relationships. To ask someone that knows me well “am I wrong if” is about perspective.

At the end of the day the only thing I want is to make my wife happy; and if that means I need to be straightened out by someone else when my pride about being right gets in the way, then so be it.

Can I do this on my own, yeap; but that typically leads to one or both of us stewing about some isht for longer than need be.

PS: I encourage her to do the same

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:54 pm

I saw FB at Chastain years ago. Of course, he rocked it!!!

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:56 pm

Kimmie I’ve seen him annually in the last dew years Babyface normally opens and guess what he is opening this year too!!!! I love it its a great show but to add the O’Jays I am like YAY! ;)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:56 pm

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
1:58 pm

I would go so far as to say that most people who you confide in tend to offer advice through their own pain or bad experience and it usually is not the same as something they are hearing. I remember being in small groups with en and they would transpose their own situations on to others, failing to recognize that each incident stands on its own merits.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
1:59 pm

If you can introduce your confidant to your spouse and him/her can come to social gathers then its no big deal right?!? If there is no grey area then by all means do it your way…….

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
1:59 pm

Dan – Do what works for you and yours and be happy. Like you said, it’s not that complicated.

Randyt (what you talkin about Willis?)

May 22nd, 2012
2:01 pm

and as I heard as a child, “FREE ADVICE IS USUALLY WORTH ABOUT WHAT IT COSTS”.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:02 pm

Ain’t no way in H– I’m confiding jack to an ex.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm

@Kimmie

You know me that’s an all day – Hope all is well with you an yours.

But as always, I’m here to shed some light on a darkened corner. Folks so prideful and worried about what other people think about them (and their relationship) that they can’t take what’s needed.

I could give a fugg about what the tree think once I get my apples…isallimsaying

i'm swiss

May 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm

Man, what is the world coming to? Boy Scouts being taught to be snitches at an early age:

http://blogs.ajc.com/news-to-me/2012/05/22/8-businesses-busted-for-selling-alcohol-to-minors/

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:03 pm

Randyt – Yep, to all your posts!

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:08 pm

I’m here to shed some light on a darkened corner

Alrighty then. Not sure what qualifies you to recognize “darkness” or what qualifies you to be the expert but many of your posts would have me to believe you might need to live a bit longer before becoming an expert.

I’m just backing away right now.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:09 pm

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
2:10 pm

Cel – C’mon now if you were taking after me your Halo would be traded in for horns. IJS, I know I know shet it up. Hahaha

Dan – you sounding like a Married dude more and more.

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:11 pm

Hey Dan, all is wonderful with me!

I get what you’re saying, I can just relate better to a different point of view. I’m a bit arrogant and prideful as far as how I handle my relationship. I know best. But there have been a few incidents that stumped even me. I chose carefully who I confided in and I’m not too much of a know-it-all to take their advice. One subject in particular is killing me to not bring up, but I see where it won’t be very welcomed so I bite my tongue, for the good of the relationship.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 22nd, 2012
2:11 pm

What’s going down WillieD…..@Kimmie, why would you not be cool with it, if you trust your mate…I always like this topic because it reveals a lot about the character of a person’s relationship and that person themselves. It isn’t enough to say you trust me, you have to back it up by doing it. I can only speak for myself, but what I described isn’t just a one way. My wife has informed that she has been contacted by a former ex before, I do think much of it, never will. If it were to become an issue, then I’d be responsible for knowing that I provided no resistance, but that I could live with. If I need to police you, I don’t need you…and as my Uncle Ed once told me, if a woman let someone else in that kitty, you won’t know the difference anyhow?

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:13 pm

WillieD – Actually I have both installed. I just have the horns retracted right now. My halo is shining through for the darkened corner in which we sit…lol Horns are released as needed…ha ha ha And yes….SHET IT UP!! :)

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 22nd, 2012
2:16 pm

don’t…and it wasn’t no dayum Freudian slip neither…lol

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:16 pm

Where is Elijah today? That might be my new blog boo :)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:16 pm

I am not confiding in a ex simply bc I don’t want his POV but male friends and associates maybe…….but I can converse with an ex on the surface. nothing here or there…..

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

I dunno, there’s just something that seems out of sync when confiding in an ex where you have your SO first and foremost and then current friends. Why go back to the ex for confiding?

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

@Kimmie – I’m glad

@WillieD – I heard a saying about work that I use at home “submit (to the foolishness)’

@Cel – I’m no expert at nothing but being me.

@anyone else – a wise man knows that he doesn’t know everything. A wiser man knows that the correct answer is the only thing that really matters. And at the end of the day I’m just sharing – take it or leave it. I was a prideful and single man; but, I’d (personally) hate to let me pride (being right, worried about what anyone other than the people I love think about me – and worrying about them too tough eithr) get in the way of my family’s happyness.

If I have to take the hit to get it/keep it right, I’m built for it.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:18 pm

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:19 pm

for example sports, music, our kids, car stuff…………….

Willie Dynamite

May 22nd, 2012
2:19 pm

Swiss/Jake – bout that time again. I’m good for next week. AND fyi 2:13, hot dayum we may get more outta Cel next time than a Diet Coke.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:19 pm

Dan – Good for you

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:20 pm

anywhoo yeah C ;) !!!

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:20 pm

Jake – My statement was a general one, not just concerning exes. For example, I respect hubs as a grown man. I’m terrified of motorcycles and he knows this. If he would come in today and tell me he’s getting a motorcyle, I would not be cool with it and he knows it. But I would not “forbid” him doing it, nor act the fool about it. I know if I’m cool, he’ll probably even lose interest in doing it. Win! :cool:

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 22nd, 2012
2:21 pm

Oh, and for the record (saying of the week), the D is not referring to an ‘ex’, he’s referring to friends, family, and loved ones when speaking on advice.

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:22 pm

WillieD – I’ll step it up to a “virgin” drink next time. How’s that for getting more? :) I’d say that’s one up better than a diet coke…lol

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:23 pm

Get a Shirley Temple C! ;) Enjoy too lol!

Celisea....William Levy is my "cross over"

May 22nd, 2012
2:24 pm

Lady – Got to be careful….wolves run in packs

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:25 pm

What’s a good liquor to add to a Shirley Temple, to make it grown?

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:25 pm

hush C now we not starting that rhetoric this late in the day hahahaha

kimmie

May 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm

C – Speaking of wolves, hubs & I watched this movie over the weekend called The Grey. It was good, but :(

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 22nd, 2012
2:26 pm

some type of brandy or maybe disaronno liqueur