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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Do you like them enough?

If you are devoting all your free time to someone but you aren’t crazy about them, you are wasting time -theirs and yours. Single people do this all the time. To stave off boredom or loneliness, they selfishly bide their time until something better comes along.

The reality is that it doesn’t take a really long time to determine if you like someone enough to start a relationship with them. Men are especially adept at figuring this kind of thing out fairly quickly. Once they know, it’s only a matter of when they are ready to tell (and show) the woman that she is the “chosen one”.

How long does it take you to figure out if you like them enough to keep things going?

How can you avoid being someone’s “placeholder”? How can you tell when they like you enough?

HAPPY MONDAY!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

188 comments Add your comment

Lily

May 21st, 2012
7:00 am

Right now we’re in deep like. To answer your questions, I’ll check back in a few months :) I’m a testament and digging love right now. I’m past 30…..with a great guy and no cats. (lol)

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
7:36 am

This is one subject I have no t-shirts on and am totally clueless. I don’t date to be dating, so for me there are no “placeholders”, nor will I be a “placeholder” for someone else. I can sort of understand FWBs, but “placeholders”. That smacks of using someone (no, it IS using someone), and as they used to say on “Living Color”…”Homey don’t play that game”..

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
7:38 am

Now that begs to question, does that make me a “clown” like Homey? Uh oh.

Single and Happy

May 21st, 2012
8:21 am

It depends on what you’re looking for, every single person out there are not looking for a relationship with everyone they meet. Some people share the same interest in alot of things that sometimes don’t include each other. Just be honest about where you are, and take it from there.

Shaunie

May 21st, 2012
8:27 am

I’ll know when he shows me with consistant and focused love that I am his one and only and the same for me….as long as we are still smitten by others, we are not ready.

Trouble

May 21st, 2012
8:45 am

Don’t leave your girl around me.
http://youtu.be/37iuauzMWxo

lolalee

May 21st, 2012
8:52 am

Shaune “as long as we are still smitten by others, we are not ready.”

Huh?

lolalee

May 21st, 2012
8:52 am

meaning, how can you be smitten by others when you are with somebody already?

Trouble

May 21st, 2012
9:18 am

Enter your comments here

M. (pronouced M dot)

May 21st, 2012
9:23 am

This all boils down to effort. Effort=Results. If they make the effort and really want to work things out, they do, if not they don’t. Simple and plain.

disco

May 21st, 2012
9:24 am

good day good peoples. today is my last day of workplace bliss so I’m in it to win it today. it typically takes me no more than 3 phone calls to determine whether or not I even want to see a guy or not. it’s amazing the kind of foolishness that can come out of someone’s mouth so early in the game. it’s also amazing how many men must have used up all their courage asking for the number because by the time they finally call they have no backbone left. they are just breathing on the phone waiting on the woman to take the lead. I can also usually determine whether or not there’s something there i might actually be interested in on or whether or not he’s a “placeholder”. I was just telling a guy last night that some guys are placed in the “I don’t want you as my man but you are cool and might have some value to me whether it’s just to hang out, talk occasionally or what have you”. the placeholder phenomenon is real. it simply ties into that reason/season thing. some folks are there simply until the season changes.

Mike P

May 21st, 2012
9:35 am

The only “placeholders” I have are the ones who cannot take the hint that I am not interested in her(s). How many times do I have to say no! or decline your invitation before you finally get it. I tried to avoid embarrassing you in front of your friends/peers.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
9:50 am

Mike P – Sounds like you’re a bit annoyed as a certain someone…Do tell lol

Oh, and good morning peeps

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
10:22 am

Don’t everyone talk all at once…

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
10:30 am

On topic: Place holders? Blah…foolishness

Off topic: Reluctantly jumped on the scale Saturady….I’M DOWN SIX POUNDS :)

Another off topic: I bought a 36-inch flatscreen from Sears for the LOW LOW. Over 50% off :)

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
10:30 am

32-inch, not 36…oops

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
10:34 am

Cel – Well congrats you slim jim ;-) I didn’t make any big purchases this weekend but I did go end up with a hangover Sunday morning :-(

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
10:39 am

Morning All!!

I learned awhile back that men know pretty quick if they are interested in you. So it’s no need for a woman to wait around and “give him a chance” very long. When they are interested, you know it. If you find yourself questioning – well you have your answer – he’s not into you. He’s not playing hard to get. As for women, I can’t speak for all of them, but it’s pretty much the same. If she’s not really interested and he’s just a placeholder for him, she’ll put forth a half-azz effort. He’d have to be a little slow not to notice.

A lot of folks hope against hope though.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
10:39 am

Slim – What did you do/hang that caused the hangover…sounds like a blast…lol

On the weight thing, I started eating breakfast (for me NOT GOOD) and was gaining weight. So I decided to do the grapes and cheese a few mornings. Too, I changed my parking. It’s like two blocks or so away from the building and the walk is much, nice but much. It’s saving me $120 a month for parking…WOO HOO. A lady at church lost her car but works for the hospital in the next block so she volunteered her card until she’s on her feet again. It’s free for her so she said no point in not being used at all.

On the tv, I purchased the display and of course did a bunch of talking…lol

disco

May 21st, 2012
10:40 am

C – you don’t buy the whole placeholder thing? guess it’s just perspective. I look at it as making do with what you have until you can get what you want. in my mind, anything “starter” is a placeholder. that first starter home, that first entry level starter job. all just placeholders for better things to come. granted, I guess on some level it’s wrong to do people that way but it is what it is. oh – and congrats on your tv purchase. I’m on shopping withdrawal. it has now been 10 days since I have spent money on anything besides groceries and gas. at one point over the weekend I thought I was going to have the shakes.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
10:44 am

Cel – Well, in the words of Jamie Fox I had one too many drinks…but really I didn’t feel wasted honestly. I really feel like I got ’sick’ because I ate some shrimp & grits at dinner at Strip first then went over to Shout. So I didn’t feel bad until I got back to the house. I felt better probably after 2 Sunday afternoon lol…..So what were you eating before for breakfast? I heard that skipping breakfast was not good and that it actually helps in boosting your metabolism

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
10:45 am

disco – I don’t like the idea of placeholder but yeah, it exists…at least I think so. I just think it makes us (”us” in general) feel better to call it something different or deny that’s what it is. I believe anytime someone has pretty much decided that he or she is not the one but continues interacting for the sake of company or a warm body or something to do, until something better comes along then yep pretty much that’s what it becomes. Being strung along, just not that in to you, let’s see where things go (when you know definitely there are not), are all phrases that mirror the placeholder thingy.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
10:47 am

I just had deja vu after reading disco’s 10:40….weird

DreamsMaterialize

May 21st, 2012
10:50 am

Morning
I guess the only people worried about placeholders are the ones not getting what they want out of a situation. I try not to be in those situations…I like getting what I want. ;-) How was everyone’s weekend?

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
10:51 am

Slim – It probably was the food…dontcha just hate it? Glad you’re feeling better.

I actually started eating breakfast because of the same reason…like everyone says, you need 3 meals a day and that it drives metabolism. I’m not one that gain weight too much but at the same time, I’m not one that eat a lot…never have been. I eat but not big portions and I stop when I’m feeling full. I would change up from a variety of things….eggwhites, hashbrowns, cheese toast (1 slice), maybe french toast. Not meat too much. Always two items. So I stopped going to the grill and started pickup up the fruit cups. I really like the grapes and cheese so, I stuck with that a few mornings. I’ve been walking to the new parking spot a couple of weeks. You know how big one block is downtown. The walk from here to parking is a bit more than 2 blocks. I’m going back to laying off breakfast and have a treat or fruit and coffee.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
10:53 am

Dreams – Well I guess you pretty much summed the topic up. Weekend turned out better than expected. How about you?

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
10:56 am

Cel – You are about like me when it comes to eating in that I cannot eat a whole lot at one time. I eat a little here and there and actually I go through phases where I feel hungry and crave to eat…other times I have to almost force myself to eat. (I hate that) This morning i’ve only had a greek yogurt and half a cup of coffee. I bought a bagel but have yet to have a desire to eat it. I’ll probably eat this banana before I eat that bagel though. Since I was sick last week, I skipped out on the gym so I guess i’m going to try to get back in the swing of it this week. I finally bought me some workout gloves to keep the callouses away from the weights

DreamsMaterialize

May 21st, 2012
10:59 am

Hey Slim. I’m sure we’ve all been on both sides of the placeholder equation at one point or another. It’s life right. My weekend was packed. Family was in town for my cousin’s graduation. I’m super tired this morning. lol I see you had a good weekend…lots of libations. lol

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
11:02 am

C – I think I’m going to start doing what you do – park a little further away to get in a brisk walk in the morning.

To me, it seems to be a little more acceptable for men to use women as a placeholder until he meets “the one”. It’s okay for him to date around, see how it goes, etc. But I find alot of women are criticized when we know early on that we really are not interested in a guy. We are expected to give him a chance and “maybe” feelings will develop. Are told we are going to end up alone if we keep being so “choosy”. I know I got put down alot for it from both men & other women. I always know pretty quickly if I am interested and if I’m not, I throw that fish back in the water. I’m not wasting my time or his. I’ve never regretted doing it. Just cause he might look like a “good man” to you, and he might be but just not for me.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:03 am

Slim – Yep, I’m there with you. I don’t have to have a gang of food plus I don’t like the heavy feeling that takes the next day to feel relieved from. I can’t sleep if I’m too full…lol

I’ve given up on the gym thing….lol Never been my thing as far as commitment. I looked at treadmills while at Sears. I did see one I might be interested in but that’s about the extent of working out aside from hitting the gym here and there or walking in the afternoon.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:05 am

Dreams – I guess you could say that lol Goose all night long with the exception of one Apple Martini earlier in the night. There were a lot of folks down at Atlantic Station too. I was not aware that they show movies there in the grassy area. They had Harry Potter showing.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:06 am

Kimmie – Good for you. When the lady first offered me the card, I took it but didn’t use for a couple of weeks because of the dreaded distance…lol But, I bit the bullet and did it and I LOVE it now. It’s cool in the morning, which I know won’t last but I put on my flip flops and make it in. I did it more so because paying to park is a beast downtown.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:09 am

disco – at one point over the weekend I thought I was going to have the shakes.

LOL…I just caught this. I got the tv because I NEEDED a new one for my room. I wouldn’t have if I didn’t need one.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
11:11 am

Slim – Me & my college buddies were down at Atlantic Station Sat night. We went to eat at Agave first and then decided we wanted to shop a little so went to AS after. I didn’t know they did the movie thing either. We went in that store Fabrik and the little guy there gave us some mimosas! It was a nice night to be out.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:12 am

Cel – I remember when you were pricing treadmills a while ago. Ellipticals are good too

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:13 am

O/T: Did any of you see the vid of Will Smith slapping the reporter that kept trying to kiss him? LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cBRfjcY9SQ

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:15 am

Slim – I think I saw one I’m pretty much gonna go with but I’m waiting for my brother to finish. Outside of the tv, no more spending until we’re done.

disco

May 21st, 2012
11:15 am

kimmie – I met a guy at the gym a couple of weeks ago. single parent to 13 year old daughter. during a conversation yesterday he mentioned that he wasn’t really looking for anything serious as right now raising his daughter was his priority. I followed up by confirming that he meant he didn’t want a relationship for the next 5-6 years. he answered with maybe 4 years. so I at that point indicated that I had no desire to be the chick that hung on for 4 years hoping for a payoff down the road and I’m not the chick that’s going in hoping that he didn’t really mean what he said. he then accused me of attempting to punish him for his honesty. told him there was no punishment involved but I wasn’t going to be that string along chick. I then went on to say that he was a nice enough guy and that if he wanted to attempt to play the “I’m wearing her down” game (that he cannot win) then I’d gladly let him buy me meals and take me out in the meantime. no shame in my game.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:15 am

Get it Ms C!!!!!! Good deal with your super weekend sis!!!!! ;)

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:17 am

kimmie – I’ve never heard of Fabrik but it sounds interesting…who doesn’t like to drink and shop lol

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:17 am

Hey there Lady(bug), I’ve been waiting on you this morning :) How was your weekend?

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:19 am

I saw a clip of that spar with Will Smith and the photographer. I didn’t catch what he did though. Did the guy feel him up or something? I can’t watch the clip here…YouTube is blocked.

disco

May 21st, 2012
11:20 am

C – I didn’t realize I often I shopped for no good reason until I consciously made the decision not to shop. I think shopping almost became a pasttime to stave off boredom. I’m shooting on keeping my money to myself until the first of the month. 10 days in and 10 days to go.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:22 am

It was great!!! The Funkfest concert was awesome!!!!!! Saturday was softball games and Gresham Day (grilling out, etc) Sunday I got some rest in and studied. Can’t complain at all~ Thanks for asking!

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:23 am

disco – It almost sounded like because buddy was honest with not wanting anything serious, that he expected you to sign on for that. So i’m glad you let it also be known that you honestly didn’t want to be the ‘get-a-long girl’ for him for the next 4 to 5 yrs lol That’s so crazy to me to say that out loud. Four years may not sound like a long time but it is definitely a waste of time if you’re doing something you really don’t want to do

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:24 am

Cel – He sort of push the guy away with the mean mug face then slapped him with the back of his hand lol

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
11:25 am

disco – See he couldn’t handle the truth. You were not being mean, just pointing out the obvious program he wants for the next 4-6 years. You let him know you’re not the one. He let you know up front and you let him know up front. I’ve done the exact same thing. Dudes have told me up front they were not looking for a serious relationship, never wanted to be married, didn’t want kids, etc. I’ve thanked them and went on stepping. It shocks some of them when you do that. One even told me I was moving too fast and to slow down because you never know what might happen and he might change his mind, etc. I called him on his bluff. I told him I took what he said very serious and I respected it, but it was different from what I was looking for. His eyes and mouth were wide open!LOL! :shock:

disco

May 21st, 2012
11:25 am

slim – I did appreciate his honesty but the cynical chick in me still recognizes that as game. that’s that line fellas throw out there and then when a chick finds herself caught up he can say “I told you when you met me that I didn’t want anything serious”. I’m too grown for that foolishness.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:26 am

disc – I hear ya and feel ya. Aside from getting my free panties from VS (with my mailed coupon), I walked past shoes and clothes looking straight ahead and on a mission for my tv. I’m done really well these last couple of months just saving the money I was using to buy stuff…just because. I’ve even kept with not eating out so much :) It makes a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE when you stop buying and count what you’ve saved.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
11:26 am

Slim – It’s a cool little boutique like shop, with a few locations around ATL. And yes, it helped to keep our earlier buzz on!LOL!!

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
11:28 am

@ kimmie re: “I always know pretty quickly if I am interested and if I’m not, I throw that fish back in the water. I’m not wasting my time or his. I’ve never regretted doing it.”

RIGHT! A lady I was involved with (that eventually threw me back said somthing that hurts but is so true “if it isn’t right for one, it isn’t right for either” ;-) I think that has tempered my approach. If a woman doesn’t want me (or me her for that matter), I’m not going to try to change her mind. One thing that is almost a universal truth, you can’t MAKE someone love you…it eaither is or it isn’t. Life is that way sometimes.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:29 am

Lady – Good for you. Sounds like a good time :) We should aim for next week. You’re off then right?

disco – On the honest dude. You know I can appreciate a man’s upfront honesty but the only reason I want it is to be positioned to do what’s best for me. I don’t get his reaction. He was honest with you, allowing you to be honest with him. That’s all both parties can ask for. Frankly I wish more men would be honest and just state their intention. Of course, getting in would be a bit more limited but then the upside is all hearts and minds are clear and on the same page and have an understanding.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
11:31 am

(dayum typos, wish this thing had a spellcheck)

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:31 am

Slim – Okay. I tuned to the story but I think I missed some of it. I did see Will getting huffy…lol

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:32 am

Yes May 30th is perfect! Loca Luna (550-C Amsterdam Avenue,
NE Atlanta) you name a time sis thx for the reminder hope this venue suffice

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:32 am

its off piedmont C

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:34 am

May 30th is perfect…nothing on my calendar. You say off Piedmont? That might be even better. Okay I’m gonna put on my calendar for say 12:30?

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:34 am

when a chick finds herself caught up he can say “I told you when you met me that I didn’t want anything serious

disco – EXACTLY! It’s almost like the male disclaimer they throw out there. In the beginning some chicks would take that as “well he doesn’t want anything serious RIGHT NOW….but he’ll change his mind because I’m just that great of a catch…i’m going to feed em, and fugg him into a relationship and wanting all the things he said he didn’t want” :lol:

Cel – I’m about to start eating out less and bringing my lunch more often to work. That stuff starts to add up quickly. I can easily spend anywhere from $20 – $40 a week on just grabbing some quick, whether it’s breakfast in the morn, lunch or some fast for dinner. I’m hoping to buy a new car by the end of the year ;-)

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
11:35 am

Off topic, I just read that the number two draft pick Reggie Griffin III’s fiance has already picked out a a new Bentley and he hasn’t even signed a contract yet with the Redskins. That is going to one expensive toy (and I’m not talking about the Bentley).

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:37 am

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:40 am

Slim – Me too. For me and the kid it’s a butt load I was spending a buttload just eating out alone. Paying for her lunch everyday, me buying breakfast and lunch for me everyday and then dinner out for the both of us. So right now, no parking = $120 month, less eating out has been a savings around $60 a month. I did have a weak moment and almost decided to look for a new top for church after getting the tv but I thought to stick with saving….lol Stick with it Slim. I’m hanging in there myself.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
11:40 am

Randyt – You are so right, can’t make nobody love you! You can’t “nice” someone into loving you either.

I’ve also found that if you just pay attention, people reveal an awful lot about themselves early on. People talk about meeting the representative and all that, but looking back you’d be surprised at a lot of stuff that was presented to you in the beginning that you didn’t see or didn’t want to see. Those dudes that I felt were stringing me along and using me as a placeholder actually showed me signs early on. I got better at not only spotting those signs, but taking them at their word, literally.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:41 am

Typos…my bad

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
11:42 am

A small bit of advice here…if someone says they are not interested in an LTR…listen. If someone says they are…listen. Both can be scary because they are both taking out the ‘personal’ element from the situation and just setting rules. I’m not much in to rules ;-)

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:44 am

I dunno, if I feel a dude is TRYING to string me along, I just develop so much disdain for that person that I can’t even be friendly. Just the thought of placing me in a lineup with others just does something to me. I don’t understand the juggling and game playing. At this age why can’t a person just say it’s bad timing or you’re not the one or I not feeling the vibe? Stringing people along is just selfish. Cut off the straglers and go with what you feel is solid. You can’t have your cat and eat it too. You can’t keep a person on hold while you try and work something out with someone else. I’m not sticking around at the first sign of game playing. Nope, I’m out.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:45 am

cake…NOT CAT…I have must have Steven Q. Stanley on the brain…lol

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:45 am

On topic: Actions are inspired by words & Actions are louder than words. You will know bc I believe in the writing being on the wall. Its what you do with the writing. If you chose to stay know that you will be strung along til you are replaced~ #mytake

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:50 am

yeah being direct is key C~ easy said than done…….though. but still I feel one will know when ‘ish don’t add up……that rotation is timely and you don’t get all the time. (inconsistencies) but if a person is honest its no misleading~

disco

May 21st, 2012
11:53 am

lady – speaking of strung along until replaced. I know a chick who was the sidepiece for many years to a married guy. they had a kid together and she just loved that man. fast forward and his wife dies and chick is all excited thinking her time has finally come. how come he upped and married somebody else. she was crushed and pulled a what’s love got to do with it. dropped her kid off with dude and the new wife and she rolled out.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:53 am

Lady – Exactly. You can’t really depend on going in and expecting honesty. Most times you have to rely on gut and intuition. It’s just icing on the cake (for me), if a dude says exactly what he’s looking for…whether I’m it or not. That just saves us time, energy and probably from getting into ill feelings.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
11:55 am

disco it happens nothing new~

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
11:56 am

And hanging around waiting for a dude to finish off one relationship while he’s benefiting from you is what I’d call being d!ckmatized, sadly.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
11:59 am

You can’t have your cat and eat it too

I’m just sitting back waiting for swiss or For Real to pop out on that one. :lol:

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
12:00 pm

LOLOLOL @ “d!ckmatized” that is funny!!!!! and so accurate!!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
12:06 pm

I let them know after a few weeks in what I want with them. Some have let me know I’m moving too fast for them, when I slow down they ask me what happened to my intentions. Have to explain I like you but time is not on my side for long engagements. You’re into me or you’re not, if not don’t play just say it then I wont ask for anymore of your time. Nothing hard for grown ups to do and nobody gets hurt.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
12:10 pm

On a more serious note, sometimes ‘caution’ can be confused with a lack of interest. This is where I have a problem with a certain characteristic of the female psyche called “over thinking”. I pretty much play with my cards face up. If I like someone, I tell them. If I don’t, I leave.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
12:14 pm

Randyt exactly to the 12:10 post.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
12:15 pm

O/T: Okay, talk about weird…I just got a call from the Bill Cunningham show in New York and the lady said it was regarding my ex but of course I could not talk to her since i’m at work. I told her to call me back after 5. What in the hell could this be about?! I’m not sure what the premise of that show is or what I would need to talk to them about. :shock:

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
12:15 pm

Randy I don’t think its rocket science or takes many months of “What could it be” Where is this going? if you will……but maybe

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
12:17 pm

Randyt/Blackfoote – Then why can’t you just say you’re moving slow for the sake of being cautious rather than allowing the person to believe you’re not interested or finding the right spot for them in an imaginery line-up? I know I’m one that if I can’t get answers and feel a person is not being direct then my thinking or overthinking goes the other way and I’m taking the next exit. I can build trust easier if a person talks to me rather than have me blind when really what I’m blind to is not another person but just you needing space and time to feel more assured.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
12:18 pm

ther than have me blind when really what I’m blind to is not another person but just you needing space and time to feel more assured.<<<<<so true~

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
12:20 pm

Lady – Communication is key. Doing things the way you’re use to doing things (both male and female), I’m sure have caused many potential relationships to end prematurely.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 21st, 2012
12:23 pm

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
12:43 pm

I communicate my interested from the begining it’s all I can do. If a lady show me interest, give me the indication I’m the only one she wants to see, why the hold status(not talking about sex just emotions) when both parties agree a relationship could be attained. I go slow because it’s caution I know she feels. At the same time if the feelings aren’t mutual the ship sinks.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
12:49 pm

@ Celisea re: “Then why can’t you just say you’re moving slow for the sake of being cautious rather than allowing the person to believe you’re not interested” …I can’t speak for BF, but I have done/said exactly this, and somehow the other party still thinks I am playing a game with her head. I’m not that complicated. If I say “I am interested in kowing you better”, I’m interested…If I say that “I’m not sure this is the right thing for either of us”, I don’t see a future, if I say, “I think I like you a lot but I am going slow” it means “I think I like you a lot but I am going slow”.

The message is clear, not in code….I swear it ;-)

abc

May 21st, 2012
12:49 pm

I’ve known plenty of guys that will string along with a chick they don’t really like that much, just because otherwise they think they’ll get lonely or something. I know a couple of chicks that will go out and be intimate with men they know nothing long term is there, just because they’re bored. So, it goes both ways. Some folks like it better that way. Too bad they don’t come with obvious disclaimers.

I’ve done it myself, both on the giving and receiving end.

disco

May 21st, 2012
12:55 pm

BF – re slow and caution. dude (mr. 4 years from now) asked what my last name was and I said it’s too soon for him to know. he was taken aback by that and I actually understand but I also understand that you can get too much personal information with just a first and last name if you are of a mind to.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
12:56 pm

Blackfoote – Okay…gotcha it’s more so moving slow for her. I’m sort of there with you. I’ve been seeing someone and so far it’s been ummm…okay…not bad at all :) But I’m not one for jumping in the sack quickly but I do like for things to progress. I think Kimmie said it…it don’t take eternity for me to know I want to see where things can go.

Randyt – LOL…Okay I hear you. You said it plainly. I guess it’s on her then to move along your pace. Sometimes us women (okay I’ll speak for me) can hear a different message. Honestly it’s not mishearing it’s just so many play games that I know I for one don’t want to be a victim. I don’t play the victim but I also don’t want to be a victim. Alongside communication being key, I guess patience should be added.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:01 pm

To abc’s 12:49 comment.

I agree that this happens a lot, maybe most of the time. But one size does not fit all and it just never felt right for me. I’ve said before in the blog, I don’t like to have work hard and i like things comfortable not complicated so it is easier to sterr clear of ‘entanglements’.

My wise uncle told me many years ago that “I was tying a knot with my mouth, that both hands and both feet would have a hard time untying”. Another one told me about “catscratchers”…they follow you home and scratch on your screen door sometimes…so be careful who you hook up with and what the consequences might be. I figure I don’t know eerything so I listened to them. I’ve seen a lot of guys that didn’t…and paid a price.

My point is whether in downtown Atlanta after dark, or in romance…always be doing a threat assessment…always.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:03 pm

(my typing suxxx)

disco

May 21st, 2012
1:03 pm

Randy – that made me think of my momma saying that “my mouth was going to write a check that my behind couldn’t cash”. lol.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:16 pm

LOL @ disco…re “check writing with mouth”. That is how I ended up bungee jumping. I was staring at a bungee tower with my teenage son, when he suggested that I should try it. I told him that I would but it was kind of expensive, and it was Christmas and I didn’t want to spend the money (BS you know). I did not know that my brother-in-law was standing right behind me until I heard the words that made certain portions of my anatomy shrink…”Well Randy T, have I got a present for you…I’ll pay for it”. I was…well you know what I was…starts with an f and ends with a d. Coming from East Tennessee, I was not allowed to show fear so up I went. Fun (afterwards) but it was much more scary than skydiving.

So I know about “check writing” up close and personal ;-)

abc

May 21st, 2012
1:27 pm

Now, I don’t do ANY of that kind of thing, Randyt, no matter what anyone else thinks about it! I have never found any entertainment value in scaring the hayell out of myself: roller coasters, bungee jumping, hang gliding, fuggetabaddit, not happening! I’m more than happy to say “no thanks, I’m too chicken”.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:34 pm

LOL @ abc…I try to collect a new scar or two every year to go with my collection ;-) I swear I have scars where most people don’t even have places! Like Indiana Jones said in the “Raiders of the Lost Ark”…”its not the age, honey, its the mileage”. I’ve beaten the haell out of my body and it reminds me a lot lately ;-) Payback is a biotch.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
1:35 pm

disco – I’ve seen that mess happen so many times it’s not even funny, your 11:53! Dude had no intentions on marrying her, whether he was married or not.

Be it someone tells you upfront or you have to use your intuition, once you get the memo, its on you.

And that “I want to take it slow, be cautious” stuff – baloney. Life is too short. I’ve told dudes to call me when they are ready and got it together – IF I’m still available.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
1:36 pm

I don’t have a problem at all telling someone I’m too chicken to try something!!

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:39 pm

@ Kimmie LOL, I was talking about marriage, not exclusivity…I’m exclusive by nature. When I say cautious, I mean I want to get to know someone, inside and out. I may know in the first five seconds if I want to make love, but it takes a little longer to want to stay with someone. After having said that, I know it sounds like the normal BS line from a player. Those a..holes have really screwed it up for those of us who really mean just go slow.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
1:40 pm

I can dig moving slow because for me, I’m not going to get physical quick. So the slower the better…lol I just don’t want someone claiming they’re going slow and trying to string me along. For those types, it’s gonna come to surface and you won’t even have to wait long. Now moving slow don’t mean we aren’t interacting. No interacting then I’m inclined to believe what you say you want versus what I see are two totally different things and I need to take actions….the actions of moving it right along. Now taking it slow and getting to know one another void of sex, I can do…lol :) All the while though, we need to be doing things together. Not taking it slow as in we talk once every two weeks…or example…lol

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
1:41 pm

disco/Cely I understand a lady has fears she may need to get over and too much too soon can prohibit her sense of comfort. She has the bull by the horns and will know early on how I can contribute to the relationship. I give her all the time she needs to decide if she wants to walk this walk of course in the mean time I don’t want to be strung along cause I have been that and wondering where I stand.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:43 pm

To put my last few emails together…I guard my heart more than I guard my body. LOL

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
1:46 pm

Blackfoote – I actually like what you said and dig dudes that are attune with a woman and the ability to pace at a speed comfortable for her yet do-able for him. I agree it goes both ways and a man not wanting to be strung along either. There are some chicks out there doing the same thing….stringing dudes alone

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
1:47 pm

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
1:51 pm

Randyt – I was talking dating too, I probably tried to cover too much in my post and was confusing. I feel ya though!

C – I get it about taking your time to become physical. I’m talking about moving at a snails pace to get to know someone. You know, only trying to see me every 3 weeks or so, and calling 2 times a month. Then when I check you on it, you say you’re trying to take it slow.

And yeah, it is jacked up when a dude says after 2 or 3 years he’s not ready for marriage, but when you finally wise up and dump him, he meets someone new and marries her after 3 months! Never happened to me, but I’ve seen alot of it.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:54 pm

@abc, there is a practical reason and benefit that comes from jumping out of a perfectly good airplane (not so sure about bungee though). If one can conquer that fear and just jump, not much will ever scare that person again. I know for me, not much (okay, broccoli maybe) scares me at all anymore. It is like getting past a divorce, you believe that you made ti to the ground once, you can do it again.

That is why I tried to ask out the female plastic surgeon in North Alabama whose face was on a billboard, and that is why I can ask a lady out I see in an elevator or in Publix…I know it hasn’t been fatal up to now and I will probably survive (besides, I’ve had the $hyte slapped out of me before and I made it through…although that lady in Bloomingdales in Manhattan did rattle me a bit).

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
1:54 pm

Kimmie – Now THAT’S what I call stringing along…lol That’s why I said we can move it slow..if it’s me needing and he’s cool with but we’re doing things to build trust and assurance of one another’s intentions. Just like I’m looking to be able to trust him, I want him doing the same thing (inspecting…for lack of a better term), making certain I’m a good fit for him. But yeah calling me every blue moon and labeling it “moving slow” is not gonna work. No can do…nosiree

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
1:56 pm

Randyt – If I may, how many kids/sibs do you have? I didn’t realize you had a son. I know you mentioned your adult daughter but I didn’t know you had other kids.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
1:57 pm

@Celisea re: 1:54…exactly. There is a difference between “taking it slow” and recognizing one is just a backup plan…but I guess they sometimes look similar.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
1:59 pm

Cely I seem to find them with my eyes wide shut. Seriously the minutes after I have approched a lady, I can determine whether or not she may be a fit for me. On the other side, I have to present myself in a way that may make her feel I would be a fit for her. If I’m not her fit I would want her to tell me, without thinking it would hurt my feelings.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
1:59 pm

C – LOL!! I had a guy to try to do that mess with me, and had the nerve to get mad when he DID call and want to do something & I didn’t JUMP at the chance! I told him I already had plans!

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
2:01 pm

Three kids, all grown and on there own (well sometimes my daughter is on her own…she istrying to buy her first house). One has a Doctorate in Religious Studies, one has an MBA in International Business (and will make more than me this year), and one just got her first real professional job as a PR manager for a large medical practice. All have done well in spite of the bests attempts by their mother and I to totally screw them up. ;-)

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:05 pm

Blackfoote – I’m not saying this to stroke you but I wish more men had your attitude. I can’t say if I know upfront whether or not I’ll like him but being able to scope out she’s a go for you but hanging back until she’s on the same page fully is commendable and not many will do that.

Kimmie – That’s why he got mad. Cause you called him on it and he knew you was dead on. Nothing sweeter than letting some joker know sorry buddy I moved on while you was strategically aligning or so called aligning all your women. Sorry boo boo, count me out. I’m not a part of your little string-along-gal plan

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:07 pm

Randy – That is fantab! Yeah, us parents have a way of screwing things up (to them)…lol That’s really great.

“All grown and on their own” sounds like music to my ears :)

disco

May 21st, 2012
2:08 pm

randy – re bungee jumping – classic. lol.

kimmie – that’s called “grooming the groom” and I was once a groom groomer. in my 20s marriage wasn’t on my radar. a couple of guys left me and married the next chick after me.

randy – re the offspring making more money. my baby bro is an engineer and when he got that first job making more than me I have to admit that I was feeling some kind of way. all I could think was to be that young making that much paper.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
2:11 pm

disco – Yep, cleaning him up for someone else!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
2:11 pm

Women that string you along. There’s no riding out the storm with them (moving slow), they have to have a steady dose of reality checks. Sure I had one ask me was I a patient guy and my answer was yes. Throughout the ordeal (months have passed) she steadily kept asking me am I still being patient until I wised up and figured I wasn’t the man she wanted.

Lady~

May 21st, 2012
2:15 pm

TMZ is reporting that Whitney Houston’s ex-boyfriend, Ray J, was “almost physically removed from the Billboard Music Awards last night after angry members of her family ordered their security to get him away from them.”

According to the website, Whitney’s sister-in-law and manager Pat Houston was upset because her niece Bobbi Kristina and other family members were seated next to Ray J, the person Pat believes was a bad influence on Whitney.

Minutes before the tribute to Whitney, Pat reportedly asked her security to remove Ray J from his seat, but he refused to budge.

The website says Pat’s security summoned hotel security, along with several uniformed officers to physically remove Ray J.

But apparently, Pat had a change of heart, possibly to avoid public drama, and decided to let it go

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
2:21 pm

It don’t take long to figure this stuff out, most people will show and tell right from the begining.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:23 pm

Nope it does not. True colors always come to surface. And if a person is “that good” your gut and intuition will give you the boost in learning what’s there that doesn’t sit well.

abc

May 21st, 2012
2:28 pm

Rational fear is good; irrational fear is bad. Rational fear == respecting that which can kill or maim, such as skydiving. Irrational fear == every man/woman is a dog that’s trying to take advantage of you, such is paranoia.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

Willie Dynamite

May 21st, 2012
2:30 pm

Afternoon All,

Interesting reading some of the posts. I guess I’m in the minority because my dating life has never been as cut and dry or black and white. I fully enjoyed dating and interacting on whatever level.

Elijah

May 21st, 2012
2:30 pm

I know I want Celisea…and I am to old to be waiting…

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:30 pm

Diva’s post asked about datng someone and you’re not crazy about them….. I have a story.

I have a cousin that’s been married for what, 25 years or so? She was dating this really really cute dude out of high school and just thought he was the answer to her future…lol Well turns out he was a snot. He just knew he was all of that. Anyway, she’s about sick of him and him dragging his feet as well as not being too happy that he’s going off to college. Well she meets another guy and they date a couple of years. In the meantime, the old boyfriend is whooping it up at school and you know hitting chicks up left and right. She’s here, dating the dude she’s not that crazy about. Well they date, like I said a couple of years. Turns out she’s liking him more, he’s a decent dude. Well he asks her to marry him….he does the whole ritual of asking her daddy for her hand in marriage…so forth and so on. Anyway, cute dude comes back in town on summer break (couple years passed). Calls her on her line in her room. She tells him she’s getting married that next weekend. He’s shocked and just don’t believe she’s gotten on his cuteness and was able (yes…able) to move on….lol She said he’s busy saying “riiight, you know you love me…blah blah blah.” She said I told him okaaay, if you say so. She said she tells him she’s gotta run and to call her next Saturday but on their house landline (cause she was having the line in her room disconnected). Well, he calls. He calls her mom’s house and asks for her. Her mom answers and says “I’m sorry so and so got married earlier today” Dontcha just love it.

Leggs

May 21st, 2012
2:31 pm

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. – Ummmm, Ok! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
2:32 pm

The woman I appreciate and have the most respect for is the one that tell me, I’m not interested lets remain friends if you would like to. This is all I ask for is a lady with a back bone like that.

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
2:32 pm

@ BF re the “string along”…ouch!!! I guess it may be responsible for some dry spells for me, but if after the third date or so, if either of us is still wanting to see others then I read it to mean that a connection just isn’t happening. I’m not sure if that means I have jumped off the train too soon, but like I said, I’m not much of a pursuer.

OT…if any of you watch “Missing”, what did you think about the season conclusion last week. Why did I feel I was channeling my hero, Jack Bauer? ;-) Between watching Ashley Judd (I used to watch bits of KY basketball just to see the camera pan over her in the audience, LOL)…and seeing streets I have walked in paris, I enjoyed that show. Good ending but still not “Jack”.

disco

May 21st, 2012
2:34 pm

celisea – biz markie said it best. he caught the vapors.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:34 pm

True story. All of us met him…the cute one Chauncey. My my my, he was a hottie. Too bad so sad for him. She moved on with the nice guy. I don’t think she’s regretted it a day since.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:35 pm

disco – lol…yep

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:35 pm

Elijah – I ain’t no spring chicken but I’m not too old to wait. How old is too old…sir?? Humor me :)

Leggs

May 21st, 2012
2:41 pm

ARed says hello to all of Blogsville!

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
2:43 pm

C – Yeah, he was smelling himself. And they were young then too – she had the time to date and learn to love nice guy. When you’re 30 something, nobody got time for all that. Cutey had some nerve!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
2:45 pm

Randyt if I’m getting strung along and realize it I’d rather have dry spells everytime.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:47 pm

Kimmie – Yes he was smelling himself…lol The thing about giving folks a chance is the guy she married is just sooo cool. He’s a man’s man. He takes care of her mom about as good as she does. When her dad was dying the took turn caring for him. Her dad and husband grew very close. She could never have kids so they adopted three. He’s so soft spoken and quiet by nature but it’s funny when he’s getting on the kids (typical teenage stuff), you see another side to him. I know I’m on the outside looking in but they always seem happy and do EVERYTHING together. Grocery shop, school/clothes (for the kids) shop, everything.

Lady~

May 21st, 2012
2:49 pm

Waving @ Elijah!!!!!!! LOL C!!!

yall be easy! 4 more days! #yay ;)

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
2:50 pm

Alright Lady, we’ll catch up offline for next week…see ya :)

Velonese

May 21st, 2012
2:52 pm

It’s nice to not have to worry about these things (props feet up) life is good.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 21st, 2012
2:55 pm

Right behind you Lady. Sayonara.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
2:56 pm

C – He sounds cool. Alot like my hubs, as a matter of fact. Sometimes when you take a chance it works out. I think the key is giving the chance to the right one.

It worked out perfect, right down to the phone call after the wedding! Reminds me of when my ex called me – as I was heading out the door to my 1st day with my now hubs. I just laughed when I heard the answering machine pick up! Priceless!!

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
2:58 pm

@ Velonese, LOL…my version of “props feet up” is that warm fuzzy feeling that comes when unsolicited calls from headhunters and job offers pop up ;-) (maybe three or four in just the last month). It is a comfortable “feet up” feeling to know that I could suggest a physically impossible place they can stick my job if they push me too far ;-) Yes, life IS good!!!

disco

May 21st, 2012
3:00 pm

kimmie – I thought of that famous childhood retort – “that’s what you get”. lol.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:01 pm

Kimmie – Sometimes that’s the flip side to taking what’s behind door #1. It could be a wad of nothing and then again, it would be a diamond in the rough. Folks think you’re gonna hang on forever. Sometimes it’s better than having “the talk”…lol Just pick up and move on to big and better. Yes, taking a chance is risky but sometimes the reward outweighs the risk.

Glad for you.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
3:06 pm

C – Meant 1st date, not day!!

Does anyone know what’s up with Cutey these days, Celisea? Just curious.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:12 pm

Kimmie – No clue here

Randyt (is it Monday, or what???)

May 21st, 2012
3:13 pm

News today: no comment…

Father of 30 struggles to pay child support
11:46 am May 21, 2012, by George Mathis

“Be fruitful and multiply” sounds like quite the party until the child support bill arrives.

Just ask poor Desmond Hatchett, a Tennessee volunteer if there ever was one.

WREG-TV in Memphis reports Hatchett, a minimum wage worker from Knoxville, recently asked the court for help in making his child support payments. The 33-year-old man has fathered 30 children by 11 women and is having trouble keeping up with the bills.

Half of his paycheck, the maximum allowed by Tennessee law, is garnished. Some mothers receive $1.49 a month.

How did this happen?

“I had four kids in the same year. Twice,” says Hatchett, who is better with the ladies than the ladies are at picking men.

Hatchett was last in court in 2009 when he had only 21 children and he said he was “done” with making babies.

GOOD GRIEF…DUDE IS CHANNELING TRAVIS HENRY…EVERY YEAR.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
3:16 pm

Celisea – I heard my ex is up to his same ole, same ole. One of my best friends used to work with him and introduced us. She said he called a few months after the wedding, talking the same ish.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
3:17 pm

Randty – I heard about that. SMH. Everyone is at fault, the dude and the women. The kids are innocent.

disco

May 21st, 2012
3:18 pm

randy – that little tidbit is making the rounds. that poor guy’s face/name is all over media outlets everywhere. for the sake of fairness someone ought to print a list of all the baby momma’s. well, all except for the mother(s) of child #1 and child #2. all other baby momma’s, shame on them.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:20 pm

Kimmie – It’s funny how the ones that were just so cute and everybody wanted or they just knew they could get end up being the ones that are nothing. Being all cute and ho-ing gets old. Folks want more out of life than just a pretty face and a healthy dose of schlong…lol That mess gets old. Just like the cute dudes in school hanging on the hall. They take it from the halls to the alleys. Cute runs but so long. If it fads (no matter what), one might want to invest in something more solid…lol

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 21st, 2012
3:21 pm

I see Mr. babymaker has made to the blog topic today, he for real famous now…not that play play famous in the media…what up peeps

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:22 pm

30 children by 11 women and he’s 33???? I’m just SMH. I don’t even have words.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:23 pm

Well, without knowing too much on the story, if buddy is making his rounds and trying to raise them all….kudos. Shame on him though for not stopping at a couple. I’m just saying.

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
3:25 pm

I guess the part that gets me is that there are only a few days per month that a woman can get pregnant. So he must have hit it with them XXXXX #’s of times to seed them…dayum. As far as the baby mamas…what can you say? 30 kids with a dumbazz set of parents…i don’t know. I feel for them, kids need parents they can learn from. Any lessons (or at least any examples) these parents teach is going to be the wrong one.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:27 pm

I just don’t have words….at all

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

May 21st, 2012
3:28 pm

Cel…there is only one way to raise that many kids….On a farm where you grow your own food and make your own clothes, othere than that….impossible.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
3:28 pm

It was a dude like that that wrote in to the stawberry letter, though he didn’t have THAT many kids. Wasn’t it one that had like 10 at 19?

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:31 pm

Jake – I agree with you there. Even on a farm raising food and sewing clothes, that’s gotta be tough. He’s gonna get pulled thin for a loooong time. Whew, I DO NOT envy him not his babies’ mamas.

disco

May 21st, 2012
3:31 pm

I don’t know Tennessee dude but I believe it. heck, I’ve got a cousin who has I don’t know how many kids ranging in age from about 3 years up to around 30 years. what’s even more amazing is that a great number of these kids are named after my cousin. hypothetically we’ll call him “shawn”. there are dozens of shawntel, shawnique, marshawn, quashawn etc. out there. don’t know what he’s doing but the ladies LOVE LOVE LOVE him.

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
3:32 pm

I think the dude should get full custody of all 30. Talk about a wake up call. Better yet, relax the polygamy laws and make him marry all 11 women and have them move in together. He’d take a second/third/fourth job to afford a vasectomy.

Elijah

May 21st, 2012
3:33 pm

Hello Lady! How are you and the little one doing? Celisea YOU KNOW I will wait for your sexy,intelligent self….Yes I will

Leggs

May 21st, 2012
3:33 pm

When he had 21 kids and had to go to court for CS, he said he was done having children. He since had 9 more. At what point do these women not realize he has children, let alone, 12, 14, 22, 30???The women are as dumb as he is, if not more!

At what point did his representative stop showing up? Good Grief.

Brownsugarvixen

May 21st, 2012
3:34 pm

Wow this topic sounds like dejavu. I have a couple of girl friends kicking the dating rock right now because they refuse to take off the rose colored glasses and refuse to give up the lumber jack. Being 2nd, 3rd or even 4th in line gets old when you know you want/need so much more. Never really understood why its cool to hold on to people for superficial reasons. I’m just glad I move at my pace, it elminates thirsty vultures off the rip! Moving slow is just my speed, be honest or keep it real no time for games.

30 Kids – SMH. $1.49 made feed kids in a third world country for a month but not here in the States!!

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
3:38 pm

disco – Nobody’s stuff is THAT good, at least I’ve never come across it!LOL!!

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:38 pm

Elijah – Well I’m tired of waiting, need for that….COME AND GET ME :) I don’t like a dude that’s all talk and no action. Celisea is waiting :)

Okay, I’m kidding…lol

Randyt – LOL….that’s the best plan…give him custody of all the kids and let him work it out. Give the mamas visitation and tie their tubes.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
3:40 pm

Unless he hits the lotto, those kids will never get much more than that $1.49 a month!

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
3:41 pm

I wonder if he just lays in the bed and they just form a line to climb on? i wonder how many HAVEN’T YET gotten pregnant that he is hitting? How many fertile women are left in Knox County. Dayum, I wonder if I should have a paternity check on my three kids (since all three were born in Knox County) since he hit every other woman. Dude single handedly increased the population of metro Knox County.

disco

May 21st, 2012
3:42 pm

kimmie – well if they all know each other they can run whatever little Tennessee town they live in. just imagine one of them threatening to get their brothers/sisters to help them fight. they ought to be able to whoop everybody. lol.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:42 pm

Elijah – I don’t have a little one anymore…we’re heading toward 18 years of age. Anywhere you’d like to take Celisea on a getaway…since she’s positioned to step away from the kid now?

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
3:45 pm

That dude is going to wake up one morning and find out that he is his own father!!!

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
3:46 pm

I think the daddy should work about three jobs, get out of the system an drop if nothing else a couple hundred bucks to each mom….a month. That would fall right in line with making a way out of no way :)

i'm swiss

May 21st, 2012
3:48 pm

At this pace, it’s only a matter of time before this dude knocks up one of his own daughters.

disco

May 21st, 2012
3:52 pm

swiss – re one of his own daughters. we joke that my cousin is now hitting on the daughters/granddaughters of women he hit in years past. he is a grade A man whore and considering he’s not even 50 yet I’m guessing he’s got a lot of ho left in him.

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
3:53 pm

@ Im swiss…I know all of my children came with some work and an operation or two, not easy, all planned…I know you had issues also. Sure seems unfair that this dude can apparently walk through the city and women behind each door start swelling. Just seems unfair.

Brownsugarvixen

May 21st, 2012
3:54 pm

@SWISS – That would be the most horribe thing this guy could do.

Can’t even imagine siblings running into on another not knowing that they are related then hooking up! Unreal I don’t even want to think about it. Seeing this guy on the Maury show would take at least 6 to 7 episodes to just view all the results.

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
3:59 pm

Speaking of the Maury show (and wondering which one of the nine guys it “could have been” that that show displays sometimes), I wonder if he is just a chump and the baby mamas just pointing at him when others have been hitting and he is just getting the blame? Although I guess if I was a baby mama with multiple possibilities I guess I would choose one who has a real job.

disco

May 21st, 2012
4:00 pm

brownsugar – I doubt that his children don’t know they are related. seems like his business is wide open and seems like the type women that would have multiple children with him aren’t the type to be trying to pass said kids off on someone else. heck, you see they are cashing those $1 checks. I think the regular, run of the mill so-called upstanding gent is more likely to have an outside kid that his inside kids don’t know about.

i'm swiss

May 21st, 2012
4:01 pm

Randy — What’s really unfair is that stupid, irresponsible people like this dude AND each and every one of his baby mamas can continue sh!tting out kids that all of us end up having to pay for.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
4:02 pm

I just bet those 11 baby mamas know each other as well. I would find it hard to believe that they don’t know each other. That’s just something wrong though getting babies in between one another…just wrong

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
4:10 pm

Yeah I know Im swiss, believe me I know.

And Celisea and disco, Knox County is not all that big…the odds of the offspring running in to each other is higher than you think. I’m sorry but I suspect that somewhere down the line, as I’m swiss suggested, the family tree may not have a fork in it. (Remember, I grew up in East Tennessee and have heard the “family tree doesn’t fork” jokes all my life.

Brownsugarvixen

May 21st, 2012
4:13 pm

@ Randyt – I wouldn’t be surprised if at least 5 or 6 of those kids are not his!!

@Disco – i most definitely agree with you. Even if this guy was the next Wesly Pipes or Mr. Marcus, there is no way I’d be lining up for $1 a month child support checks. I know baby mama #1 has to be floored that this man had all those kids. If I was her I’d have to write a book, do a reality tv show, a play something! LOL

Randyt (what can one say)

May 21st, 2012
4:13 pm

Oh well, I’m going to work out (and not the same way that dude does). Night y’all.

Celisea....life is good :)

May 21st, 2012
4:13 pm

Randyt – I’m a believer. Heck I wouldn’t doubt if they’re all getting together. Something ain’t right in taking you turn for getting babies….WITH THE SAME DUDE Yes, they know one another

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
4:14 pm

That’s just plain crazy!!!!!! Just because a man can spit out seeds without any thought doesn’t mean he has to plant them in every pair of legs he comes into contact wtih. He may need to look into donating them seeds at a sperm bank to supplement his income. Take what he does best and make some $$$. Obviously he’s fertile as hell

disco

May 21st, 2012
4:14 pm

randy – and that’s exactly why I’m not as concerned that the kids don’t know each other. if anything I’m leaning toward the fact that they do know each other and like C said, the momma’s know each other. they are all one big happy family.

DreamsMaterialize

May 21st, 2012
4:15 pm

That dude needs to move to the Mormon compound with all his kids and the mothers. Put all their asses to work.

SlimNu

May 21st, 2012
4:18 pm

He could use a week spent with the Duggar family to see how it all should work…

i'm swiss

May 21st, 2012
4:21 pm

The Duggars… Ughhh… I’d like to b!tch slap them and the Octomom, too. I really think it’s a form of psychosis to want that d@mn many kids.

Leggs

May 21st, 2012
4:39 pm

If you have to b!tch slap anyone, Octomom should get first dibs. At least the Duggars sew their own clothes, plant their own food, have jobs and other things to sustain themselves. Oh, and having a reality show definitely helps with the expenses.

kimmie

May 21st, 2012
4:41 pm

I’m with you Swiss about the Duggars & Octomom. They are all weird and sick.