Relationships: Should you police your mate?
I was listening to Q100’s The Bert Show and they were discussing a couple’s argument: The man is not allowed to watch porn or go to strip clubs, but his wife is all into the racy novel Shades of Gray. (Apparently this book is explicit and sexy and full of naughty naughty things)
The man felt as if there was some kind of double standard at play. If he can’t enjoy adult movies or go to a strip club, why should she get a pass to read explicit content like Shades of Gray? What do you think? Is it the same thing?
I wondered how any woman can forbid or limit her partner’s access to adult movies. Isn’t that a little controlling in the context of a relationship?
Does your partner have a right to control or police your freedom to do what tickles your fancy?
Guys, what would you do if your woman asked/told/ordered you to stay away from certain explicit things? Would you comply? (For the sake of discussion, let’s assume there are no addiction issues involved.)
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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229 comments Add your comment
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
11:34 am
Leggs your 11:28 seem to be a logical way to think rather than believe the man is pulling rabbits out of his hat.
disco
May 18th, 2012
11:41 am
BF – yeah yeah yeah. but the man had a part in discussing all of these tentative plans. getting bluz’ hopes all up. heck, getting my hopes all I up. I was about to have a vicarious weekend in Charleston with a doctor. lol.
Willie Dynamite
May 18th, 2012
11:47 am
Does anyone have anything cool planned this weekend? Atl will be open with a lot going on.
Bluzgirl
May 18th, 2012
11:49 am
disco…I know, right?!?! It will happen one day!!!
kimmie
May 18th, 2012
11:50 am
The doubt is a benefit you don’t get until you’ve proven you’re on the up and up. Unless there’s a death, something up with your kid if you have any, or you’re in the hospital, I stopped cutting guys any slack in the beginning. I just found myself making too many excuses for them and my mom and aunt and dear friends would point it out to me. Once I took a good hard look at it, I realized they were right. Those dudes had me right where they wanted me. I was making all kinds of excuses that in the end were not anywhere near what was really going on. So yeah, I got what some might call a little more cynical and less trusting in the beginning. Dudes had to earn my trust and the benefit of the doubt.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
11:50 am
LOL…..disco I can see it Bluz go to the restroom come back, Dr. Brit is gone.
Charleston is a beautiful ocean side city. With their guns drawn I was almost attacked by the MP’s at Charleston Air Force Base for loitering.
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
11:50 am
“he thought about coming while he was still in England, so he waited until he got home to look up flights.”
I may be all late with this, but him thinking about it was never a “yes” he was coming. Also, he didn’t have access to a computer while in England to book the flight while there? Just asking because location doesn’t matter where you book…just the “to” an “fro” determines the price.
Bluzgirl
May 18th, 2012
11:52 am
I’ve gotta help a friend with a yardsale tomorrow…yuck! Then, I have two meetings on Sunday!
disco
May 18th, 2012
11:55 am
bluz – yuck nothing. you might want to do a quick inventory at home tonight. those yard sales bring I some fast cash.
O/T – why do some folks think it’s okay to blow their noses any old place? would it kill a person to excuse themselves and, at the very least, step away from folks.
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
11:56 am
Auburn Festival this weekend!!
LeeH1
May 18th, 2012
11:56 am
Absolutely! She is a grown, controlling and demanding woman! She can get anything she wants and demand anything she wants until the guy leaves.
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
11:58 am
@disco ~ I’m a stickler on the nose blowing too. I never blow my nose at a table, my desk in front of people if I can help it. Always get up and find myself an empty corner or hallway.
Bluzgirl
May 18th, 2012
11:58 am
BF…don’t be mean! LOL!!!
Leggs…he had enough to think about while in England. His mom’s funeral was last Thursday, the day he said he would come meet me. I’m sure he had a lot of loose ends to tie up before coming back to the states. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. Now…if he makes plans and cancels the next time, then I’ll really question it. For now, it’s cool. I’m not ready for anything too real anyways, so I’m not heartbroken that he’s not coming. Just a little bummed…
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
11:59 am
I was there last Saturday, they expect to top over 300k. I’m sure it will be shoulder to shoulder again this weekend.
Bluzgirl
May 18th, 2012
12:00 pm
disco…that’s true…maybe I can find a few things to sell. This is the fiance of my friend who passed, so she’s trying to make money to get a place to live (house in foreclosure next month). I just know it’s gonna be some hard work. I’m spending the night with her tonight so we can get up early and get to work. It’s just gonna be a long day
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
12:05 pm
Blowing a nose at will in public is not an entittlement. I will tolerate a child but a grown ass need to go somewhere secluded when they do that.
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:05 pm
Got it, Bluz!
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:07 pm
“if he makes plans and cancels the next time, then I’ll really question it. ” – No need to question it, you’ll have your answer. No holes to fill….
Bluzgirl
May 18th, 2012
12:09 pm
I cannot stand when people blow their nose in public. I can understand a little wipe if it’s urgent, but excuse yourself to the bathroom to do the full on blow!!!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
12:11 pm
This gets to me when somebody do it at the dinner table. People (shouldn’t) expell gas at the table why blow your nose. They can find restroom like the rest of us.
SexyCool
May 18th, 2012
12:12 pm
No to the policing.
Bluzgirl
May 18th, 2012
12:12 pm
True dat Leggs!
SexyCool
May 18th, 2012
12:13 pm
This dude at work, has to be nearing or in his 60s, told me he had a souvenir to give me. A few days ago, he hands me this little velvet bag just big enough to fit a Delta Air Lines key chain in. (He is a Delta employee.) Tucked alongside the key chain was a note, asking me out to a Braves game and giving me his number. #LordWhyMe
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:13 pm
Yeah, BF, those two things you should never do, along with pick your nose.
SlimNu - Put me back in coach
May 18th, 2012
12:13 pm
Re: Weekend plans…I’m going to tackle this head, then I have a last meeting with the other ladies helping to plan my besties baby shower since we’re two weeks away. I also, got an invite to go to church with my play-mom and I may try to hit up the movies at some point. (I’m playing it all by ear based on how I feel though) I know I’m ready to get up out of this camp (work) soon.
SlimNu - Put me back in coach
May 18th, 2012
12:15 pm
SC – C’mon, you gotta give the guy props for his creativity
I just wonder how many of those little key chains & invites he gives out on a daily basis lol
disco
May 18th, 2012
12:16 pm
SCool – I don’t know what to think. should you be flattered he asked you out or annoyed that, technically, he didn’t ask you out? that’s almost like the elementary note of check the box if you like me.
SexyCool
May 18th, 2012
12:20 pm
A day or so later, a different dude asked me to lunch.
Dude: You should let me take you to lunch one day.
Me: Oh, I’m flattered but I can’t even let you spend your money on me.
Dude: Why not? It would be my pleasure. You’re a very pretty lady.
Me: I’m also very engaged.
SexyCool
May 18th, 2012
12:21 pm
disco – I’m more annoyed than anything else.
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:22 pm
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
12:23 pm
“the elementary note of check the box if you like me”.
This bring back memories, around second, third grades I put a lot these notes out there and none were ever returned…….LOL
SlimNu - Put me back in coach
May 18th, 2012
12:23 pm
Leggs – hahahah, that is like a guy putting his hook in a fish someone else caught and taking the ‘big fish’ picture of himself holding it up. :lol
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:23 pm
You are pretty so expect men crossing the boundary line…they love to do that.
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:24 pm
Yousa fool, BF! Pretty sure your height scared many of the little girls off.
SexyCool
May 18th, 2012
12:24 pm
Two nights ago, I went to Kroger to get M some Tussin. (Him sick)
This dude started following me around the store, trying to hit on me. I told him I am engaged. he offered to give me his number anyway- “just in case thangs don’t work out wit’ ya fiancé.”
I declined. #JesusTakeTheWheel
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:25 pm
Yep, SlimNu!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
12:27 pm
LOL…..I could go for a sixth grader when I was in the third.
SexyCool
May 18th, 2012
12:27 pm
A buncha old a$$ dudes at that.
cba
May 18th, 2012
12:28 pm
Okay, I’ll go first and pass around the virtual collection plate to get Bluz some help. I think she’s a really good girl with a big heart but she might be alittle vunerable at the moment. Hey Bluz, it’s all in luv
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:29 pm
Many don’t care if you’re engaged or married. They want you, even briefly.
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:30 pm
@SexyC ~ yep yep!! Penis pumps and all…
Leggs
May 18th, 2012
12:30 pm
Here’s my $100 donation, cba!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
12:34 pm
cba here’s my tithe I like helping people “if” I can. It’s all love Bluz.
disco
May 18th, 2012
12:35 pm
cba – I can offer moral support but I can’t be giving up my money (not even imaginary money). now when the blog bar opens, maybe, just maybe, I’ll buy her a drink. lol.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
12:35 pm
Damn Leggs a C-note, cool.
SlimNu - Put me back in coach
May 18th, 2012
12:37 pm
Any dude coming at you when you’ve advised that you’re already with someone, only wants you for a brief moment. In For Real’s case, it would only be for 23.0000085 seconds
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
May 18th, 2012
12:37 pm
LOL…….@imaginary money
SlimNu - Put me back in coach
May 18th, 2012
12:37 pm
Leggs – What is the exchange rate of blog money to REAL money?
Bluzgirl
May 18th, 2012
12:39 pm
Guess I must be a nut case to be trying to get back out in the dating world after coming off of a heartbreak. Maybe I should just crawl into a hole and not ever trust another man again?
SlimNu - Put me back in coach
May 18th, 2012
12:39 pm
Anyone know why Tia Mowry isn’t going to be back for the next season of The Game? I missed that…