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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Do you believe in destiny?

Destiny. Fate. Do you think that your life is influenced by your destiny, fate, or your actions. A lot of people believe that their lives have a certain trajectory because of the choices they have made. If this is true, what does this mean for your love life?

I have met couples who are so perfectly suited for one another, it seems as if they are actually meant to be together. That could be fate or destiny, or it could be their own choices and/or actions that lead them to find one another.

What do you think? Do you believe in fate or destiny? Do you think that you have made choices that have set you on the right course to meet the person who is meant for you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

191 comments Add your comment

Lily

May 17th, 2012
7:34 am

I believe the design on each individual’s life is carved before we’re born. Though this is a dating blog, I personally don’t believe our lives are centered around sex and romance. Everybody won’t get married and that’s not as awful as many would have you to believe. While I’ve been fortunate to land a pretty decent guy I know the greater purpose in having been born is not being paired with another. Sometimes I come back to read after getting done with my shift and I laugh at the silly remarks about dying alone. We all are going to die alone.

IMO if we’re talking “destiny” thats what finds you. Pay no mind to the crass remarks aimed to belittle or work on your psyche about finding love. I also laugh at those that can’t make a comment without mentioning their SO/mate or the undying quest to find one. That wreaks of desperation.

While I’ve interacted and have spent time with a VERY nice gentleman, I don’t allow thoughts and anxiety to cloud or distort my outlook. Live life to the fullest with an open mind. Don’t be swayed into negativity by those that believe life has zero value if you aren’t laying under another warm body. Sometimes those portraying or jumping from one warm body to another are the emptiest most unfulfilled. It’s easy for anyone to strike keys in pretense of just the grandest life. If you followed them around with a camera I bet you’d find something far different than the perfect world they project. Don’t dreamily sit on the outside wishfully looking in. Be content with you’re own path.

Senior Lady

May 17th, 2012
7:45 am

Good morning. Lily, I could not have said it better. At my tender age of 62, and single because one husband cheated so I left him and the other one died, I am so often times pitied by my friends and some family members because they are part of a pair and I am not. Needless to say, I would be willing to bet I am more at peace than they are most of the time. That being said, kudos to those that are happy, however you find that happiness, and know that those of us who are not part of a pair, are not by ourselves but rather with ourselves. What better place to be. Have a wonderful day!!

Lily

May 17th, 2012
7:53 am

Wonderful for you Senior Lady!

Good day!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 17th, 2012
8:25 am

@Lily

I would somewhat disagree with your statement.

While everyone won’t get married, indeed, no one has to; the idea that being alone is a natural state for a human is – IMHO – false.

We are social creatures, we each crave interaction outside of ourselves. Whether that interaction is romantic love, platonic love, or spiritual love, we all yearn for that connection to someone or something.

If it were the case that one could live in this world completely isolated, the human race wouldn’t exist (and you’d be homeless). You can’t work and not meet someone that shares – even at the core of their being – some trait that you do. You can’t live in this world performing mundane tasks and not meet someone that you ‘vibe’ with.

Everyone dies alone – I’ve seen enough death to know that. But dying alone isn’t what we should fear, it’s living (life) alone that should scare a person.

A person without friends, family, platonic/romantic/spiritual love is the walking dead. They know nothing but themselves and their (limited) experience, they have no other interactions on which to frame their existence, and they have no one to turn to, talk to, depend on, or be there for.

Do you have to get married, have kids, or even couple up with someone – no. But I would argue that your life is richer, more fulfilled, and you’re a better person by engaging in the pursuit of these things.

Single peope – by choice or as a result of events – are not bad people, but to choose to remain single (not a mate, but absent friends, family, and personal connections) means that something is wrong.

All this^^ from someone that doesn’t like people in general. I still can’t help but feel the prescence and blessing of God as I look into the eyes, hear the voice/touch of my family and loved ones.

But hey, that’s just The D.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 17th, 2012
8:27 am

On topic:

I have to believe in fate – I live it daily, for good and ill.

And yes, you can meet the person you want to spend your life with, but fate decides at what point you meet the person that wants to spend their life with you.

Good morning

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 17th, 2012
8:33 am

Interesting…………Morning MIA! ;)

Jaded Guy

May 17th, 2012
8:33 am

Do I believe in Destiny? NOT ANYMORE.

Do I believe in lying, duplicitous, cheating, gold-digging, disingenuous, verbally abusive women who, without solicitation, “claim” to care about me while professing to want to marry me?

I do now.

Lily

May 17th, 2012
8:37 am

Dan, the yearning placed within is there….tis true. That yearning though is to be with God. Read Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. God placed it there within every man but intended for each of us to seek him. Anything and everything in this life done void of a relationship with God is vanity and vexation.

I didn’t read entirely through your response because no explanation needed here.

Skip

May 17th, 2012
8:40 am

Saw a girl downtown 34 years ago that took my breath away, never spoke a word to her. A year later I’m on my first and only blind date and guess who shows up? Married two months later and never looked back. You call it what you want, I call it my lucky day.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 17th, 2012
8:41 am

@Lily

While the Old Testament is informative, I’m more of a New Testament kinda guy; and I believe that yearning is experienced during our life, through interactions with other people.

@Jaded

That sounds more like a flaw in your decision making process than anything else.

disco

May 17th, 2012
8:46 am

good morning blog people!!! (said it the most positive voice I can muster. y’all know I’m kind of grouchy). anyway, today I am feeling won-der-ful. why? because my workplace nemesis/office mate is on vacation!!!! yeah for both of us. I have a few days of not looking at bare feet, not overhearing personal phone calls about all kinds of miscellaneous nonsense AND not having to inhale the scent of lotion that smells like stale wild irish rose. life is good!!! in my mind I hear bill withers singing “lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day”. I swear I am ready to crip walk, cabbage patch and do the prep all up and through this joint today.

disco

May 17th, 2012
8:51 am

lily – true dat on we are all going to die alone.

dan – at least you acknowledge that single folks can have friends/family and platonic relationships and be okay. I think we shun the folks that think something is wrong with you if you don’t have a romantic mate.

Lily

May 17th, 2012
8:51 am

Dan, it doesn’t matter which testament you read….. I study both. God created man once and that model has not changed nor revised during the witting of the new. You think God is pleased with his creation (man) that seek and search, search and seek, finding and touching everything rather than turning to him? Yes he made man for woman and woman for man, even so HE didn’t create us to live outside and void of him.

Good day!

Leggs

May 17th, 2012
8:59 am

Good morning.

I certainly believe life is definitely influenced by one’s actions. Main reason why we consciously choose what we do, how we do it, why we do it and when we will do it.

@Skip ~ it was fate, it just took the longest route known to man! Congrats!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 17th, 2012
9:09 am

‘I said good day’ is ROOIIG

@Lily

While I can acknowledge your sentiment, both things can be true.

To know God as man is impossible;p and one of the reasons that Jesus was sent to live as man – for humans to learn to experience the divine in that form.

To think that God created man to only live a life dedicated to an impossible task – experiencing the Divine in a corporeal form – is to misinterpret the Bible.

Humans have the Divine within us, and it is possible – nay, probable and preferred – for us to seek Him in one another. That is not to say lose sight of living a fundamentally decent (Christian) life, but to do so through your interactions with others.

As for the study of both Testaments, that’s great; however, (while admittedly not a Biblical scholar) I would think that when Saviour prophesized in the Old Testament was realized and spoke in the New; His words would supercede/ clarify those statements. Again, that’s just me.

Fortress 4 Winter

May 17th, 2012
9:09 am

D.MN Dan, that was the truest isht ever spoke. We live in a world of tribulation. We make life and relationships so difficult cuz we are selfish. Give what u know is good and hope for the best. Being alone is not natural! But expecting life and love to be all about you is delusional. Give as you hope to receive and you might get somewhere.

czBrat

May 17th, 2012
9:10 am

soooo not in the mood for heavy discussions today. :(

somebody holla at me when the ‘Slim & Swiss Variety Show with guest star For Real’ begins. :lol:
please and thank you.

disco

May 17th, 2012
9:17 am

being alone isn’t natural? now that’s a new one to me.

brat – ditto. bring on the fun and games. or to throw back to yesterday – let the clowning begin.

Lily

May 17th, 2012
9:25 am

There’s a place that says unless you forsake father mother sister brother, yea your own life you cannot be my disciple….it means just that. You cannot skip over the parts that seems hard to digest and run with the God is love parts.

That scripture does but mean you can’t have companionship, but the reality is claim God all you want, touching the part you like. What matters is him claiming you back.

Celisea

May 17th, 2012
9:27 am

Morning,

I love a hearty debate. I’m not jumping in this one though. But, I do agre….with Lily :)

I’m just gonna hang by.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 17th, 2012
9:33 am

Brent

May 17th, 2012
9:35 am

being along doesn’t seem all that unnatural imo. sometimes the solitude and a break is overwhelmingly welcoming :)

Leggs

May 17th, 2012
9:39 am

I agreee with the premise that we are created to be with another, but being alone is also a natural part of living. That’s why we have divorce court.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 17th, 2012
9:39 am

@Lily

I’m not saying skip anything.

And there are those that believe that both Testaments are the Word of God.

I, however, believe that Jesus said a lot to clarify the Old Testament and that was His purpose.

Does that mean I need to live Kosher? No. But it does mean that there is a clear example of how I should try and live my life via Jesus.

As for ‘God claiming [me] back’, please clarify. I was under the impression that once you affirmed your faith, no matter how many times you fail to live up to expectations, you are His regardless.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

May 17th, 2012
9:41 am

“Being alone” – i.e. existing in this world (for a time) in solitude is ‘natural’.

I’m talking about “living alone” – i.e. purposely devoid of meaningful human contact/interaction.

Lily

May 17th, 2012
9:43 am

Dan I’ll have to come back another day. I’m not suppose to have my device with as I work in restricted zones. I need to power off.

Nice chatting.

czBrat

May 17th, 2012
9:43 am

dunno who started the debate, nor what exactly is being debated, but if the question is “is being alone natural?” i’m gonna throw my “no” out there. as much as i luv my solitude, i know it’s not the natural order of things.

for me, being alone is better than being in miserable company, but it’s not natural.
humans are social, pack animals.

Leggs

May 17th, 2012
9:44 am

But, Dan, what if you live with a cat. I’m sorry, you did say human contact.

Leggs

May 17th, 2012
9:46 am

Just being silly.

czBrat

May 17th, 2012
9:49 am

off topic: so i’ve waited and waited … and waited all year for kate to have another flash sale, hoping it would come in time for thing 1’s b-day, and YES! got an email yesterday for a 24-hour 75% off sale. woohoo!!! girlie’s getting another bag. :grin:

i’m done. carry on with the really important discussions.

lolalee

May 17th, 2012
9:50 am

Mornin.
I’m not gonna touch the biblical discussion here.

I think humans are meant to be with others, but that doesn’t necessarily mean an intimate relationship is required. Maybe where people get off track is where they think that an intimate partner can be all things to you and meet all your needs. I don’t think that’s ever possible, so other people in your life fill the gaps. If you don’t have a lover you can certainly have a happy and fulfilled life. But it’s much better with one.

disco

May 17th, 2012
9:54 am

lolalee – and I think of the line from the movie rocky. goes something like “I’ve got gaps, she’s got gaps. we fill each other’s gaps.”

Leggs

May 17th, 2012
10:01 am

O/T: I was out at a nice establishment last night. When I ordered my food, it came back with a heart drizzled in chocolate in the corner. I stared at it for a moment then before eating I asked if I could go in the back and see the chef (it’s a very small establishment). I went and gave him a nice hug. He said he wanted to show his appreciation for such a pretty lady. Awwww, so sweet.

No, he didn’t ask for my number and I didn’t offer mine (but he was cute)! However, I did put my business card in their bowl for weekly drawings for free lunch (lol). I would have done that anyway.

Mike P

May 17th, 2012
10:02 am

Good Morning,

“Dan the man” is on point with this topic!

I would only add, that woman was created by God to serve man, to be his helpmate and companion. If you don’t have a Godly relationship with your man, then you are not serving your purpose. You would be a in state of un-fulfillment and likewise, if the Man isn’t serving his purpose he too will be un-fulfilled whether or not he has a mate.

Lady~

May 17th, 2012
10:12 am

you ever had so much to say but couldn’t formulate your thoughts concisely?!? that is me right now so I will continue to lurk……..lol

abc

May 17th, 2012
10:19 am

The idea that humans are pack animals is debatable. Crowd or ‘human herd’ psychology shows that the larger the group, the worse the behavior. Rationale loses while emotions rule. It’s a bad thing.

If you’re Christian, you focus more on the New Testament. If you’re Jewish, you have the Old Testament and some other books in your own collections. New Testament says fate and destiny; Old Testament says try and fail to live up to the Law. Good luck with that.

Lady~

May 17th, 2012
10:22 am

interesting abc……I am loving these spins……….good points today……..

kimmie

May 17th, 2012
10:30 am

Morning All!!

I’m with Brat(as usual :) ). It is too early to go heavy! Let’s keep it light and fun!

On topic – I think it’s a combo of a lot of things that bring people together. Yes, fate, destiny, luck, God, all play a part. A large chunk of why your life is the way it is is due to the choices and decisions you make, due to or in spite of the hand you are dealt, the environment you were brought up in. Sometimes you can do everything “right” and have everything in place, but if fate and a little luck don’t step in at the right time, it’s just not going to happen – at least not the way YOU planned it. But that’s life. There were certainly factors of fate that brought hubs and I together I believe. But I’m sure if I had made some different choices things and he had, things may not have come together as they did.

I do think “people need people”, but to varying degrees. But I hate it when people assume that just because you are not joined to another in the traditional sense, you are to be pitied. That you just CAN’T be happy.

I am also of the mindset that having someone around that makes you miserable is WAY worse than being single and content. Peace of mind is priceless!

Senior Lady, love your post!

Celisea

May 17th, 2012
10:33 am

Random: I’m eating grapes and cheese :)

Lady~

May 17th, 2012
10:37 am

C and I am ready to go lol #random

Celisea

May 17th, 2012
10:43 am

Lady – Me too. I have too much work still. I’m having to touch up my little booklet/project and do a few letters to clients this morning. I got some legal entity stuff I’m having to change….and the list goes on. Another day where I’m only able to peek in here and there. Still, glad to have a job.

Anybody know where I can get a steal of a deal for a flatscreen? I mean I’m looking but want to know if there’s a sweet spot I don’t know about.

Willie Dynamite

May 17th, 2012
10:43 am

Morning All,
Not touching the biblical debate at all.

On Topic – I find it interesting that most people only use the words Fate and Destiny when describing those wonderful, awwww and feel good moments.

kimmie

May 17th, 2012
10:46 am

Celisea – All you need now is a glass of wine!

Celisea

May 17th, 2012
10:47 am

Kimmie – And a good movie and a couch…oh and a suggle buddy :) lol

kimmie

May 17th, 2012
10:50 am

Rest in peace Chuck Brown!! I saw him years ago at a free concert outside in DC over near the Kennedy Center. One of the best shows I’ve ever seen. He had that old school crowd rocking!!!

Lady~

May 17th, 2012
10:58 am

yeah Kimmie DC lost a Legend!!! Hopefully tomorrow @ the New Edition concert the DJ will go in with some GO-GO!!! Gotta hear Doing the Butt and Bustin’ Loose!!! ;)

Love it!

DreamsMaterialize

May 17th, 2012
10:58 am

I didn’t read entirely through your response because no explanation needed here.

Translation: I already know everything, so you can’t tell me ish.

abc

May 17th, 2012
10:59 am

Years ago I was driving in to work and passed a total jalopy, what a wreck! It was a bit amazing that it was even running. With a paintbrush and white paint, the following had been painted on the side of the car: “Everyone gets what they deserve.”

Kind of sums it up for me.

Lady~

May 17th, 2012
11:07 am

abc that is true I find myself thinking that a bit much lol I agree! lol

Celisea

May 17th, 2012
11:10 am

I wouldn’t say everyone gets what they deserve. I would say that if you’re offered a different path for better and you’re too lazy to take it.

It’s easy to say that if you’ve been dealt a pretty soft hand in life. I will say though, to your point (I think) that no matter the hand dealt, make the best of your situation. If that means scrathing and fighting to climb out of a barrel of crabs, so be it. If it means many struggles to overcome adversities, so be it. If it means you’re born with the silver spoon and life is good, so be it. I don’t think anyone should be angry at the world if you’re on what seems like the bottom. I don’t think one should ever feel entitled. I don’t think you should spit or hate or rain on the parade of others. You want better? Do what you have to do.

The only thing I absolutely have no empathy for is blaming, angry, finger pointing, never happy for the happiness of others and looking over in other’s plate.