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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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How do you handle temptation?

When you are in a relationship and you happen to hit a rough patch, it suddenly becomes easier to get distracted by other people. That harmless flirting starts to become a little more than flirting. The next thing you know, you are being tempted to get attention from someone other than you significant other.

It’s natural and normal to be attracted to other people when you are unavailable. It is how you handle it that makes or breaks a relationship. Some people use it as an excuse to get more attention they are missing. I think a lot of people are not prepared to deal with temptation because they didn’t expect to be tempted.

What do you do when you are involved with someone but you find yourself attracted to someone else? Does it mean you should break up and explore things with the new object of your desire?

When you are in a dating relationship, is it tough to stay focused on one person and build a relationship when you are tempted by other options?

P.S. Happy Mother’s Day!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

264 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

May 11th, 2012
10:56 am

I can take steps to avoid situations where temptation and opportunity are too much aligned.

Whoop there it is…that’s the crux of it all right there.

SlimNu

May 11th, 2012
10:58 am

I can take steps to avoid situations where temptation and opportunity are too much aligned

That’s what my stepdad always says…he’s like you have to keep yourself out of sticky situations because lawd knows what he would do if he ended up in a room cornered by a bukket nekkid chick.

DreamsMaterialize

May 11th, 2012
10:59 am

DreamsM ~ so are you saying don’t marry and don’t date cuz while dating, you’re still single!!
Leggs I’m saying, if you have doubts about whether you can control your temptations, then you need to do the committed relationship-oriented people a favor and stay single.

in this guy’s mind he was on a date with me. in my mind, I was just asking the fellow to watch a daggone movie.
Dang disco. Please give some examples of a date. Gala? Black tie affair? White House Correspondents Dinner? The Oscars? lol

Aunt Smokie

May 11th, 2012
11:00 am

Jake- Why you bring up my man Devin……I love him :lol:

On topic- For me, a damper to temptation is to imagine your S/O doing to somebody other than you, the things you are thinking about doing( or have done). It usually makes my head hurt so bad that kills all desire :lol:

Y’all have a good Friday!

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
11:06 am

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
11:07 am

WOW, none of my posts are going through.

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
11:07 am

Why am I looking for a document dated 1990 that no one in the company can find….UUUGGGH!

Because, I’m the finder of lost ysht around these parts.

{{back to regularly scheduled blogging}}

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
11:07 am

Looka here…

i'm swiss

May 11th, 2012
11:08 am

Sassy / Slim — Every now & then I actually say something kinda deep & on topic. That’s enough of that. Now back to talking about puddy! :lol:

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

May 11th, 2012
11:08 am

…a damper to temptation is to imagine your S/O doing to somebody other than you, the things you are thinking about doing( or have done).

As soon as I read that, the late great Johnny Taylor came to mind. Remember that song that had the hook, “Who’s makin love to your old lady, while you were out making love?”.

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:10 am

Some of the off the cuff comments out here today are great.

I’m so bored – my GF is leaving the country for years – all I can think about is the Gumball Rally. I feel like my whole life is temptation and indulgence, right now.

My self-control is accepting that I don’t want to have any.

Commitment is an antiquated way of approaching a relationship today. Divorce, walking away, cheating, lying and deception seems to be celebrated these days.

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

May 11th, 2012
11:11 am

Swiss you’re a certified nut (and I wasn’t talking ’bout the Uniballer either) ;-)

disco

May 11th, 2012
11:14 am

dreams – leggs already confirmed that I’m crazy and my issues are in my own mind. I just feel like dates have an added sense of excitement, hope, anticipation. if it’s a new person you are wondering if he/she could be the one. if it’s a current s/o you go into trying to maintain what you already have. a date is about more than what appears on the surface, it’s more than the activity. me and dude grabbing a bite and seeing a movie wasn’t deep, it was face value.

sassy – don’t break out the Johnny taylor this morning. you know I like “disco lady.” lol.

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

May 11th, 2012
11:14 am

CZ…come in chica!!! I need to know how you feel about Jessica Simpson’s shoes….matter of fact ANY of the blog ladies who’ve purchased some PLEASE let me know. I need an intervention cause these shoes I’m seeing on line are the BIZNESS!!

#theytrynatakemymoney

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

May 11th, 2012
11:16 am

you know I like “disco lady.”

GUURRRL you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t the isht when that song comes on!!

Shake it up, shake it down
Move it in, move it round, disco lady
Move it in, move it out, move it in round about, disco lady
Shake it up, shake it down
Move it in, move it around, disco lady

SlimNu

May 11th, 2012
11:19 am

Divorce, walking away, cheating, lying and deception seems to be celebrated these days

It’s just what’s easier…we all want what we want when we want it…microwave, drive-thru, cell phones giving you immediate access to internet/people/p0rn/information etc…We’ve become a world of Instant gratificationers ….taking the path most traveled.

disco

May 11th, 2012
11:20 am

sassy – the “bizness”. how wally cleaver. I can just hear him saying he’s going to give eddie Haskell the bizness. lol. I like the look of the Jessica simpson shoes but they are not comfortable (to me). carlos Santana also had some nice looking shoes but they don’t feel too good. I’m not the chick that’s going to walk around with her feet hurting.

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
11:20 am

Who’s making love to your old lady….love, love, love that song. That, along with Poppa Was A Rolling Stone, got me slapped in my face my dear ole sweet Mama for me being a smart a$$ in front of company. Lawdy, the things we can’t forget.

Bluzgirl

May 11th, 2012
11:20 am

I cheated once about 11 years ago and felt so horrible about it and vowed I would never do it again. I did it because I wasn’t in love with the guy anymore, but he was so sweet that I didn’t want to break his heart. It would have really hurt him badly if he ever found out.

At this point in my life, when I’m with someone, I’m only with them. When I really love someone, I can’t imagine being with anyone else and ruining what we have. If I really feel tempted, then I know something is wrong and need to evaluate the situation for myself. I would much rather break off the relationship before giving in. I told my last S/O if he ever wanted to cheat on me, I would rather him break up with me first (even if it’s over the phone moments before he does it). I wouldn’t want to find out afterwards because I would probably go psycho!

O/T…I’ve mentioned on here before about the guy I met through a mutual friend in Feb and we only text and email. Well…he is going to meet me in Charleston for Memorial Day weekend so we can spend time together and get to know each other! I’m so excited and nervous!!!

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:22 am

“It’s just what’s easier” I couldn’t agree more.

I love instant gratification, but I find it with shopping. OK, I couldn’t live without my smart phone.

kimmie

May 11th, 2012
11:25 am

Sassy – Alot of Jessica’s shoes are cute, but I’ll echo Disco in that they are not comfortable. I’ve never bought any because just trying them on they hurt me. They are not constructed well and not with the greatest leather/materials.

DreamsMaterialize

May 11th, 2012
11:26 am

me and dude grabbing a bite and seeing a movie wasn’t deep, it was face value.
disco I know, so tell us about a time you went on a date…in your mind. lol I’m trying to see things from disco’s view. ;-)

truth

May 11th, 2012
11:27 am

Believe in your relationship. Understand these are temporarily feelings and when you least expect it your significant other usually comes through and does something to completely surprise you which would make you feel like crap if you acted on these temporary feelings.
When you find someone else attractive and you’re having problems, avoid that other person. Remember, often the grass is not greener on the other side. Do not pass go, do not exchange numbers/emails, and under no circumstances take a business card-resist temptation.

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:27 am

“I’ve mentioned on here before about the guy I met through a mutual friend in Feb and we only text and email. Well…he is going to meet me in Charleston for Memorial Day weekend so we can spend time together and get to know each other! I’m so excited and nervous!!!” dating in the 21st century – e-mails and texts – I miss when people just met or called each other. Good for you Bluz, Charleston is such a beautiful city.

disco

May 11th, 2012
11:31 am

dreams – leave me alone. just say you understand (maybe you don’t agree but I’m guessing you understand).

HST – Charleston is nice. I’m planning on “crashing” a family reunion down there this summer. (by crashing I simply mean it’s not my family. I did receive an invition).

i'm swiss

May 11th, 2012
11:34 am

Totally off topic:

Quote just now from Mrs. Swiss: “I think my pee situation is getting worse.” :lol:

czBrat

May 11th, 2012
11:35 am

hey, good people. luv the responses to topic so far. plenty of grown, AWARE folk on the blog today.

single or not, unless you’re dead you’re gonna experience temptation in some form or another. could be physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and so on. you gotta know what that “thing” is that gets your juices flowing, and acknowledge when it’s someone other than your s/o that’s doing it for you …. too often. i think that’s the key. the continuity that leads to a little too much comfort between you and someone else.

sassy, i’ve been “tempted” by some js styles. call me whatever you like, but that’s one brand i simply do not care to own. plenty of similar styles out there without the aura of hollywood madness attached to them. in my mind, that is. but hey, show us the footwear so we can ooh and aah with you!

off topic: the fam did great at the family feud audition last night. won both rounds!

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
11:37 am

@swiss ~ hold on tight, cuz she has 8 more months to go. Her pee situation is nothing compared to the months ahead of you and her (lololol).

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:37 am

truth, you sound co-dependent and also having a complacent approach “when you least expect it your significant other usually comes through and does something to completely surprise you” is not a prosperous way to life. I personally would never wait for someone to surprise me with happiness – I take my own responsibility for my happiness.

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:40 am

czBrat, awesome to the Family Feud auditions.

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
11:40 am

That’s great czB. Will it be aired??

@disco ~ if you got an invite to the family union, how are you crashing it???

Bluzgirl

May 11th, 2012
11:42 am

HST…I have had an issue with just texts and emails…he lives out of town and is very busy (as am I). He’s been in London for three weeks for work and the death of his mother. He was thinking about coming to Atlanta for Memorial Day wkend, but I told him I was already planning on Charleston to stay with my best friend and invited him. Didn’t think he’d take it seriously, but he asked if the offer still stood because he would like to spend face time with me!

kimmie

May 11th, 2012
11:44 am

Remember, often the grass is not greener on the other side

truth – 9.9 times out of 10 it’s not! This other person is looking good and smelling good and saying all the right things. They appear all shiny and new on the outside. Best believe once you peel back the layers, what lies below if probably rotten!

I remember being in bad relationships, only to be tempted by another dude. It’s easy to be tempted when you are unhappy. At this point, if I’m that unhappy I’m going to go ahead and leave the situation. I don’t need “temptation” to prompt me to leave.

I may be married, but I am not blind. I have eyes and find other men attractive. But that’s just the outside. I also interact with other men, on my job, at church, etc. A lot are very nice and are probably good people. I still don’t “know” these men. I don’t know what’s truly on the inside.

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:45 am

You bloggers have me looking at hotels in Charleston for the weekend – so many great restaurants and activities.

I have to find something to do this weekend.

Bluzgirl

May 11th, 2012
11:47 am

I do love Charleston and hope to go several times this summer. I’m happy that my best friend moved out there!!!

Bluzgirl

May 11th, 2012
11:48 am

HST…all the beaches in Charleston are awesome! We tend to go to Folly more when I visit. Have you ever been? It’s a beautiful place!

SlimNu

May 11th, 2012
11:49 am

cz – I’ve always wanted to go on that show…I hope the fam get’s theirs shows on tv.

disco

May 11th, 2012
11:52 am

leggs – I just call it crash because it’s not my family.

kimmie – your post re remembering being single made me think of a chick on Michael baisden the other day. said she had a good husband but stepped out and ruined a good thing. she’s now single and hates it. she told Michael baisden she’s learned her lesson and her next husband will have the best wife ever. had to laugh because you could hear the serious in her voice.

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:53 am

Bluzgirl, there’s no way getting around text and e-mail as the main source of communication in the 21st century.

I can see your nervousness, an invite that you thought would be dismissed was accepted. I learned about that a decade ago offering a ‘Hey, why don’t you come with me?’ and never being refused.

I realize there’s differences, but I understand your nervousness to the situation.

I always say it’s conjecture until it happens.

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

May 11th, 2012
11:54 am

You bloggers have me looking at hotels in Charleston for the weekend

Try staying Downtown or by the airport…those will be your best options. If you do go, visit The Battery, Waterfront Park,The Market Place, Brittlebank Park and King street. They’re all really close together and are fun places to sight see and spend time.

Okay ladies now y’all got me re-thinking JS shoes…but I like damn near all of the ones I’ve seen….decisions..decisions

HST

May 11th, 2012
11:54 am

Bluzgirl, I’m checking Folly out right now…

czBrat

May 11th, 2012
11:55 am

thanx hst/leggs. we’ll know in a couple weeks if they’re selected to be on a taped episode. from what my nieces told me, the biggest challenge was feigning all that excitement and hand-clapping. we’re pretty much a low-key bunch. we do get loud at times … but no shuckin and jivin.
apparently, the FF cameras prefer a real minstrel show. oh well.

bluz, sounds like a great plan! charleston is beautiful, and shouldn’t be too too hot by memorial day.

bloggers, i need someone to put me in check before i get petty with s/o. i’m seriously about to let him know i’m not too happy with him right now. anybody in the mood for a slightly long story?

cba

May 11th, 2012
12:02 pm

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all thoses who are fortunate enough to be called MOM and also to those who fortunate enough to still have your MOM around.
Have a blessed weekend!!

Sassy Me...Sun Kissed :-)

May 11th, 2012
12:06 pm

anybody in the mood for a slightly long story?

Okay go…

HST

May 11th, 2012
12:08 pm

czBrat, just tell his ass and put him on notice. I will listen also if you’d like to tell why.

Bluzgirl, that beach looks great. I’m trying to find a decent hotel on the strip – Water’s Edge is nice, but I wanna see the ocean.

czBrat

May 11th, 2012
12:09 pm

lmao @ hst. luv u!!!!

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
12:09 pm

oh no, czB…oh no!

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
12:10 pm

Seriously, it’s cool to be none to happy with something your SO has done or said. What’s key is to communicate your unhappiness with him, sort it out, wash it off, and put it away!

Bluzgirl

May 11th, 2012
12:12 pm

HST…I am nervous, but also very excited! It will be interesting to say the least. At least we’ll be in a beautiful city and able to swim in the ocean! I’m looking forward to it.

Go ahead Brat!

Leggs

May 11th, 2012
12:14 pm

Exactly, HST!