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Dating in Atlanta: Is it too competitive?

The dating scene in Atlanta has its pros and cons. There are a lot of sexy people in the city, plenty to do, and many places to be seen. The drawback? There are a LOT of sexy people, A LOT to do, and TOO many places to be seen.

In other words, it gets rather competitive at times. Women become ruthless and pull out all the stops to get the attention of men they deem most valuable. Men go through great lengths to project an image of wealth, upward mobility, and begin to compete with each other to land the “hottest chick” they can find.

With all this competition going on, it’s hard to tell if anyone actually wants to date or just enjoy the hunt and sport of dating in this city. Am I being too critical? Do you believe dating in Atlanta is competitive? Is it a problem or a great thing?

Happy Tuesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

343 comments Add your comment

[...] See the article here: Dating in Atlanta: Is it too competitive? – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) [...]

[...] See the article here: Dating in Atlanta: Is it too competitive? – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) [...]

Lily

May 8th, 2012
6:49 am

Diva, not too critical at all. Yes it’s a jungle out there. It’s great to be out of the race!

Good day!

n

May 8th, 2012
7:42 am

That is a great question. I really like it. A difinitive answer to that question is yes there is too much competition. The more reserved personalities lose out. They can be found on the side street bars drowning their sorrows in Chatahoochie hooch. The more aggresive types are at the high end establishments exuding their wealth, prosperity and worldly ways.
That is the way of the world, however there is hope, assertiveness training, learn how to project. Ask Dr. Phil, he knows how to project.

Lady~Never too much

May 8th, 2012
8:05 am

Morning MIA!!!! Looking forward to reading folks views on this topic……………….. ;)

Shaun

May 8th, 2012
8:14 am

It is competitive, but I sure enjoyed it before I got married. I still keep myself groomed, but when I was single, I was razor sharp everytime I went out. Atl has so many single women, it is hard to decide on one. I have partied from buckhead to Bankhead, wining and dining pretty women, and found my wife right under my nose. And I must say honestly, I got a cutie, and she is smart. I aint going no where.

Only the Strong Survive

May 8th, 2012
8:19 am

There will always be the “have’s” and the “have nots” in the world when it comes to looks, wealth, character and da social skills. Those that have, get the first pick, those that don’t, pick next. It’s just the way that it is. You do what you can with what you have and do the best that you can. No, I won’t ever have the jaw dropping hottie, because I don’t make $200K a year. But I have good people skills, I’m thoughtful, well mannered, take care of myself physically and want a monogamous relationship. While that decreases the dating pool, I like it, because while the smoking hotties and great to have, look at and lust after, they bring with them a plethora of high maintenance issues and a need to be always told they are beautiful. Usually, they are more in love with themselves than any other man/woman ever could be. I prefer an attractive woman that takes care of herself, has a good head on her shoulders and considerable “amorous” side. I’ll take the complete package and I’ll treat her like a queen. You have to find where your priorities are for a mate and they are different for each person. Yeah, it’s a jungle out there, but the journey really is a lot of fun if you have a certain mind set. Se la Vie!

SlimNu

May 8th, 2012
8:20 am

Good morning,

Thinking about this topic makes me feel tired. Honestly, I don’t want to be in the rigamarow of ‘competing’ with anyone in order to score a date. If we meet and we’re initially attracted to each other, then we need to hang out, talk, get to know each other, spend time together, do things and let it go from there. I’m not going to try to think of everything you don’t or try to finish your sentences before you even start one, try to play house wife, be your mom, your best friend, your everything just to try to 1-up the next chick you may also be talking to. Sorry, just don’t have the energy or care to do all that. Last time I checked, I wasn’t a circus clown, circus dog, or a human cannon ball.

Only the Strong Survive

May 8th, 2012
8:37 am

Whether you believe it or not, it’s ALL a game and contest when dating. Those that put more into it will get more out of it. If you just want it to come to you….well then you get what you get. It’s like in the business world. Businesses are always revamping promotions, marketing and upgrading the looks of their products. We in the dating game are no different. Either keep up with the flow or you get left behind. Both women and men are looking for something that stands out, that seperates you from the pack, whether it be looks wise or personality wise. You eat at Burger King or you dine at 5 star restaurants. It’s always, ALWAYS being compared to the last relaitionship, the last date, the best date, the best looking date and then the answer lies somewhere in there. Is this simplified and un-emotional? Yep. The intangibles (the cement of the relationship) are developed and analysed after you get past the “catwalk” phase. I accept it and have fun with it. Pick and choose, trial and error, catch and release, catch and hang on to.

DreamsMaterialize

May 8th, 2012
8:45 am

Morning
Am I being too critical? Yes. We overthink dating WAY too much. Forget about competition, the image you project, switching your style, blah blah blah… Figure out who you are, stand on that, and enjoy your life. I guarantee you won’t have a problem finding quality companionship. Dating should be fun; enjoy it.

Lady~Never too much

May 8th, 2012
8:48 am

Figure out who you are, stand on that<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Love it and Laws of attractions will kick in sir!!!! ;) Morning DM!!!

Row 125, Seat 11B

May 8th, 2012
8:53 am

Great topic…. Unfortunately this is what the dating world has come to…..Nothing different than dating in LA or Dallas, or NYC, or Chicago….If dating is what you do then welcome to the game! If you are seeking a mate, then get out of the the race to date and redefine your path to maritial bliss..It’s not really that complicated :)

disco

May 8th, 2012
9:29 am

hey y’all. good morning. i’m competitive by nature anyway so the fact that dating is competitive doesn’t bother me so much. i think a person would be somewhat naive to think that there’s no competition involved. do i feel like i’m competing with every woman for the attention of a particular man? no. i keep my competition to my lane. i don’t try to compete with the tall girls for the men who like tall chicks. i’m short and i know it. i don’t try to compete with the long hair weave wearing chicks when my hair is natural and often twisted or in a fro. my point is i compete in my division and the contest isn’t necessarily about catching the man but making sure i don’t get completely lost in the mix.

Leggs

May 8th, 2012
9:29 am

Good morning!

No doubt it’s competitive. Most things in life are. The dating scene can be a rude awakening to one’s self esteem if you let it. May have to kiss many frogs to get to what one is actually looking for in a mate. Lots of games, lots of lies, lots of pretense. You just have to be smart enough to wade through it all. There are some serious minded people out there looking to date, just have to wade through the muck and mire. Stand steadfast to what you want, hopefully it will come your way.

Willie Dynamite

May 8th, 2012
9:29 am

Morning All,
So this is what the blog looks like before noon?

On topic – exactly what DreamsMat said to a T.

disco

May 8th, 2012
9:32 am

willie d / dreams – i think we can all agree that dating should be fun. i think the competition comes in on the “trying to catch a date” part of the equation.

SlimNu

May 8th, 2012
9:33 am

I’m with Dreams too…he said what I was trying to say but used less words ;-)

SlimNu

May 8th, 2012
9:35 am

disco – Exactly….but anyone can catch a date…it’s the MATE part that starts to get a little muddy lol

Shaun

May 8th, 2012
9:39 am

I also like Dreams response, but that is in a perfect world, and God knows this world aint that….

Lady~Never too much

May 8th, 2012
9:42 am

Shaun but your world can be as perfect as you make it!!!!! you found your mrs perfect in an imperfect world bc you enjoyed dating until you founded your mate. I think DM is saying don’t lose sight and be yourself and enjoy the journey and not over think………….

czBrat

May 8th, 2012
9:44 am

HiYas!

Women become ruthless and pull out all the stops to get the attention of men THEY deem most valuable
and there you have it.

dating is fun and atlanta is as good a place as any for it.

i’ve been an athlete, scholar and beauty queen. competition is invigorating! but do i take care of myself in order to outshine the next gal in the eyes of any male onlookers? puhleeze. :roll:
the only prize i strive for each day is to feel good about myself and not be too much of a disappointment to God and others who truly love me. that’s pressure enough, dontcha think?

great posts DM & disco.

disco

May 8th, 2012
9:44 am

lol. lady that sounds like the advice of the “after” folks who have found their mate. often times those after folks forget all the angst and drama of being a “before” person.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 8th, 2012
9:46 am

A lot of attractive women live in the little A. Men compete for them? What happened to courting, if I’m courting her it will be understood I don’t expect to be competing for her. I believe reasonable and mature women don’t want men to play compete for me games. High school is where the competitive games originate and should stay.

Good Morning:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

May 8th, 2012
9:51 am

Read what DM said I’m on the same train with him and WillieD.

Leggs

May 8th, 2012
9:53 am

:…that sounds like the advice of the “after” folks who have found their mate. often times those after folks forget all the angst and drama of being a “before” person.”

Worth repeating! Excellent observation.

Leggs

May 8th, 2012
9:57 am

@BF ~ you got it…that’s what I think most miss, courting! And it’s not a one-way street. We court each other, not the masses out there competing.

SlimNu

May 8th, 2012
10:01 am

Sassy Me...all SMILES :-)

May 8th, 2012
10:03 am

Mornting blog fam :mrgreen:

Dreams you’ve summed it up nicely in your 8:45…nice post.

Lady~Never too much

May 8th, 2012
10:07 am

hey Sassy!!!!!!!!!!!

kimmie

May 8th, 2012
10:09 am

Morning All!!

I cosign what Dreams & Row said. I decided quite early on to take myself out of the “race” and just live my life. Stopped looking for “love” in all the obvious and obviously wrong places – where everyone else in the race was looking! While living my life and pursuing my goals and interests, I met others along the journey and had fun and my share of ups & downs like everyone else. I have just tried to be the best “me” I could and was blessed to meet someone that recognized and appreciated what I had to offer.

I’ve always said it’s about 5 dudes in Atlanta(the other major cities as well) that everyone is fighting over, those same 5 dudes. You see them at every party and at every club. Women are killing each other trying to get to them, while they are just sitting back enjoying the show. When they do decide to settle down, they won’t chose any of those women at the clubs or parties they go to. She’ll be the lady they met feeding the hungry orphans in Africa or the one that developed the HIV vaccine over at the CDC or the 4th grade teacher that tutors after school. The one that’s out there living her life and making a difference and doing it while also looking beautiful. They can only hope she actually notices them and gives them a shot at her heart.

kimmie

May 8th, 2012
10:18 am

I have not forgotten for one minute how hard it is to meet a quality person out there, whereever you may live. I’m not and try to never be one of those “smug” married folks that seem to have amnesia. Heck, it took me long enough, in my 40’s, to find The One. Some things I would do differently, some I would do exactly the same. Sometimes family obligations had to take center stage.

Just try to be happy!

Leggs

May 8th, 2012
10:20 am

That’s what I’m doing, kimmie, taking myself out of the running and living my life. As I meet people along my journey of living, I’ve encountered some interesting people along the way. I’m doing me, keeping myself up and simply living life, which is what I’ve always done. I thought I could jumpstart some things by going online, but I’ve learned it’s not for me and the same blokes on there are the same one’s you would meet in every day encounters.

GracieL

May 8th, 2012
10:24 am

Yes, Atlanta is over-the-top competitive for women. Regardless of how supportive the actual numbers may be, the perception has long been that the ATL’s available men-to-women ratio strongly favors men. Of course we’re known for beautiful women here! We make the effort to look good just to hit baseline. We have to.

But instead of jumping into the competition, I use it in another way: reality check. First, I never assume that two or three dates = I’m somehow in the running for an exclusive position in the man’s life. (Big mistake, ladies.) I always assume a man is exploring his options until such time as HE initiates a conversation about becoming exclusive, and even then I maintain a healthy skepticism, and take it slow. A man who’s into ME will still be around in a year, wanting to share a concert or some such. A man who’s into his best current option is not really into me — and that’s okay. He can keep exploring, but I’m not going to get all twisted up trying/hoping to be “the one.” I’d rather have a partner who truly wants me for who I am than one who thinks I’m the best he can do at the moment.

disco

May 8th, 2012
10:24 am

yeah yeah yeah (lol). live your life, be yourself blah blah blah. of course i agree with all that but even in doing that you are still trying to do it to the best of your ability. while the competition there may not be about getting a date you are still out there trying to be on top of your game. at the end of the day, that’s what the competition thing is all about. doing you but doing it to the best of your ability.

o/t – attended graduation ceremony over the weekend. one woman’s little girl who sounded about 4 or 5 yelled out “go mommy, go mommy, go mommy” when her mom walked the stage. it was cute and got mad laughs. also, the speaker recognized all the folks who were the first in their families to graduate college. out of all the ceremonies i’ve attended that was the first time i witnessed that. thought it was a nice touch.

Mike P

May 8th, 2012
10:25 am

@Kimmie: it is those same women you mention in your 10:09 post, that after realizing they wasted their time (and youth), try and come back to the other men in their lives, only to realize that those men are now taken, married up, or simply don’t want them as a matter of pride.

Lady~Never too much

May 8th, 2012
10:26 am

GracieL good post!!! Love the reality theme~

czBrat

May 8th, 2012
10:28 am

awwww, kimmie. *tear*
so sad that folks don’t realize it can be just that simple. live your life. be yourself.
fall in step with the guy that’s busy being himself too.

SlimNu

May 8th, 2012
10:30 am

“but I’ve learned it’s not for me and the same blokes on there are the same one’s you would meet in every day encounters.

Leggs – Are you speaking with an English (European) accent this morning? lol

kimmie

May 8th, 2012
10:34 am

Mike P – Yep, and the same can be said about those “5″ dudes. They can only hope that those quality ladies I spoke of, that are NOT wasting their life and youth, find THEM worthy. What are THEY doing besides hanging out in the clubs and at parties?

Leggs

May 8th, 2012
10:35 am

@MikeP ~ I’ve seen it more the other way, the men come back to the women they used to date. I don’t know the stats just going on what I’ve witnessed. Men soon realize their dating pool is also weak with their selection and are not seeking out the quality women they discarded because they still wanted to have fun. It goes both ways, MikeP, not just women.

SlimNu

May 8th, 2012
10:38 am

When I looked up the actual definition of “competition” this is what came up: As competitive as two dogs after a bytch in heat —Anon :lol:

Lady~Never too much

May 8th, 2012
10:38 am

wow slim~ 0_o lol

i'm swiss

May 8th, 2012
10:41 am

Not all smoking hotties are vapid and vain, and not all are out shopping for sugar daddies. I should know, because I married the hottest chick I’ve ever laid eyes on, who also happens to be smart and funny and has her sh!t together, and I would never be confused with a sugar daddy.

It’s really not all that complicated. Just be yourself and look more at the person than all the trappings. There are plenty of great people out there.

Morning, folks!

kimmie

May 8th, 2012
10:41 am

Life is about competition, to be the best, to have the best. There was mad dating “competition” when I was in high school and seriously in college. Everyone fighting over the athletes that were banking on going pro. I just was never interested in competing with some other chick for a dude’s affections – not knowingly anyway. Either you like what I have to offer or you don’t. Not losing any sleep or jumping thru hoops to make it happen.

Lady~Never too much

May 8th, 2012
10:42 am

Leggs my good friend is dating now a guy she dated 25 years ago and currently its a long distance relationship……..go figure. she is as happy as a lark! #chuckle

Leggs

May 8th, 2012
10:42 am

@SlimNu ~ I must be. Shall I say, I rarely use that word (lol).

Exactly kimmie!

Leggs

May 8th, 2012
10:43 am

I glad it’s working out for her, Lady.

kimmie

May 8th, 2012
10:43 am

Swiss – I agree with your post. It is possible to hit the jackpot of love without going thru all the changes!

i'm swiss

May 8th, 2012
10:48 am

Also, I think maybe a slight change of priorities is in order for some people. I’ve seen a lot of people who give the impression that they need someone to make their life complete. I tend to think you should focus on making your life complete and happy on your own, and then when you meet someone you deem worthy of sharing your happy & complete life, even better.

SlimNu

May 8th, 2012
10:49 am

Leggs – I’m experiencing your 10:35 right about now.