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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: Should you switch your style?

Everyone likes the idea of meeting someone great, liking them, and them liking you back. The thought of having to make compromises, concessions, or God forbid actual changes does not bode well for single people.

We all believe we are wonderful creatures and anyone who dates us should accept us as we are! Why would you change to please someone else, right?

Realistically speaking, how many people in a long lasting relationship can actually say they made it work by staying the exact same person? A friend of mine has a woman who is trying to give him a makeover. Simple stuff, really, nothing particular major. Personally, I think she has made his image a lot more polished. I noticed the changes almost immediately and I remarked how nice his new look was.

His boys are giving him a hard time, however, for switching up his style to appease his woman. Although, he tells them that he really likes her “suggestions”, they still believe that she just took the first step toward domination and think it is a warning sign.

Do men worry about their women making too many changes to things like their appearance/image, etc? Are they open to hearing some suggestions or does it come across as controlling?

Have you ever switched your style after dating someone? Have you ever suggested a change for someone else? How did they respond?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

220 comments Add your comment

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:08 am

yep Kimmie I don’t don’t controlling behavior at all.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:08 am

meant don’t do………..

SlimNu..wobble wobble, shake it shake it

May 4th, 2012
11:09 am

abc – I read your post and immediately thought about that Tina Turner song “Make Me Over” ;-)

Leggs

May 4th, 2012
11:09 am

But czB, don’t you think some look at a potential with what can be, even thinking right then and there what they may be able to change. When one meets one and start talking no doubt they’re attracted to what’s in front of them, but sometimes a “fixer upper” is standing in front of them and they go forward on that vein.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:09 am

I am not even speaking of appearances either I am thinking more se so conflict solutions………

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:09 am

abc – I don’t wear sneakers either. I have one pair and that’s for the benefit of hitting the treadmill or sidewalk. But just wearing sneakers, nope not my thing. I’m nowhere near as conservative as I use to be but I still like classic things. I hope that doesn’t make me boring…lol

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:10 am

but I guess appearances could be a conflict huh……I haven’t dealt with that made made a great point with initial physical attractions

Leggs

May 4th, 2012
11:11 am

O/T: It’s only 11:10 and I’m hungry.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:11 am

alrighty now I am off beat lol meant C made a great point! lol time for a coke and a sammich with some jalapeno chips! lol

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:12 am

Fixer uppers are a no no no for me. Nuh uh. Y’all remember Two Can Play That Game? You get to fixing and suggesting for some men and they’re just another chick’s new man…waiting to happen…lol Buying him teeth and stuff and he using them on somebody else? Heck naw…lol j/k/b/n/r

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:14 am

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:14 am

I had one C and vowed never again! agreeing with Kimmie again I won’t settle on looks ever again that is not a compromise ;)

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:15 am

Lady – I haven’t done that but plenty women do. IMO it’s almost like paying all the bills and carrying the household while hubs go through medical school. Only to divorce you afterwards and another chick reap the benefits. No can do.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:16 am

he just wasn’t great for me but is great for someone else so to each their own that is why I wasn’t viewing appearance as conflict bc you should be attracted off the rip and not try to fix it up. lesson learned

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:18 am

exactly C your 11:15!!!!! girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:19 am

Lady – We all have horror stories we’ve grown from and moved away from. All that matters is that we don’t keep hitting repeat :)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:20 am

yep I haven’t repeated bc I learned water under the bridge lol when you know that you know you do better~ hopefully

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:21 am

Did anyone hear the Bert story this morning where the dad was teaching his five year old to ride his bike seemingly to no avail and all of a sudden he got it? That was sooooo cute and too funny. The dad tape the kid say “you can do it if you try” That was so sweet and funny to me. That kid was talking so hard and fast and passionately that he was almost of breath just from beaming with pride that he finally got it.

DreamsMaterialize

May 4th, 2012
11:23 am

No fixer uppers for me. And who am I anyway to say that you need fixing. You may be just right for someone out there. You just have to find that person. That’s why I’ll never try to convince a woman that I’m right for her. If I don’t do it for her, then she needs to move on and find what she’s really looking for. Otherwise, she’s just wasting our time.

kimmie

May 4th, 2012
11:24 am

I’ve never been into Fixer-uppers, not in houses, cars, men, etc. If it’s not brand new, it better be already “refurbished” before I’ll consider it!LOL! I just don’t have the patience. I accept that nothing is perfect, but perfect for me, whatever warts or dents are there, they are now mine. I’ve decided I can deal with them.

I have a friend that is kinda like one of these dudes with the change thing. She says she just doesn’t like being told what to do or controlled. Fair. Anyway, before I met hubs and she & I would hang out, she would trip out over they guys I would reject and the reasons. One big one was that I didn’t want a guy that smoked. We had a big discussion about it and she was going on about how I wouldn’t even give a few a chance. Talked about how they could just not smoke around me & brush their teeth, etc. I told her having grown up in a home where dad smoked, I knew that was not enough. The smoke gets all in the hair & clothes and car and really never leaves. But I told her the biggest thing is that I was not about to try to change a grown man. There would come a day when that man would want the freedom to smoke in HIS house or HIS car. Who was I to tell him he couldn’t? No need in getting something started from jump that I just can’t deal with.

I didn’t hear another peep out of her about it. I could see her pondering what I was saying.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:24 am

yep dreams that was my take you are better for someone else

Exiled!

May 4th, 2012
11:27 am

I guess folks are different but I’m gon stutter like Cee here

Um ata ahh hmm, any men buying a woman clothes or doing most of the grocery shopping at home..

I dont knw bout that!

Controlling anyone!

i'm swiss

May 4th, 2012
11:29 am

“I am jealous of Swiss talking bout ur bootey yesterday!”

Me.lo — Don’t sweat it, man. C doesn’t know it, but I sneaked a pic or 2 while she wasn’t looking. I’m stealthy like that.

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:31 am

Mmeello – What are you saying/implying? I’m just asking to understand. I don’t mind looking out but you can believe that WILL NOT fall over into taking care of and sponsoring. You can believe that it’s reciprocated. I’m no flunky or dummy by any stretch of the imagination… Too much halo WillieD LOL

Kimmie/Lady – That’s where I am. By no means do I believe a mate is perfect and certainly not I. But in whatever package you come (and that’s from the inside out), in order for us to be together I’m accepting of “as is.” It’s obviously do-able and something I can get with and as well as me being someone (flaws and all), he can deal with.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:32 am

. I don’t mind looking out but you can believe that WILL NOT fall over into taking care of and sponsoring.<<<<amen

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:34 am

Swiss – Danggit…lol I tried to let my big should bag cover the back. Mmmm hmmm, you got me because I thought I got away not showing too much :)

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:35 am

Swiss – Oh wait…did you say pic? Maaaaan I DON’T DO CAMERAS. Turn ‘em over!!

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:37 am

as one off the rappers state no pictures please lol C!!!!!!!!!

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:39 am

Okay, my kid and I worked on a project Monday night “What’s in a name” and origin, the meaning, how she connects, family crest so forth and so on. Why oh why did she just email me the same project with camera phone pics all over it??? Can you say ghetto? It was so neat and nicely put together. I replied and told her there’s waaaay to much of her going on in the background.

Exiled!

May 4th, 2012
11:40 am

Cee I’m saying it’s Not appropriate neither is it easy anyway to but a woman some clothes. It’s easier the other way round

Swss. U a lucky guy man…u and WillieD!

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:41 am

Mmeello – Gotcha

Lady – :)

Exiled!

May 4th, 2012
11:41 am

To buy a woman some clothing

Exiled!

May 4th, 2012
11:44 am

Some woman really flirted with me as we prepared to board

Come to fund out we sitting next together in the plane and she really comes at me

Abd we at the back and irs nor full

Can u doggie her here

Decisions :lol:

See ya in two hours

czBrat

May 4th, 2012
11:45 am

leggs, when it comes to fixer uppers, i’ll stick to yards and houses. please and thank you.
i just don’t have the energy to rebuild a g.a.m. now, s/o likes trying new things and switching up his style just a lil bit. he trusts my judgment and wants to remain pleasing to my eye, so he askes my feedback on putting together a look, but by no means is he my pet project.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:46 am

lawd I have been loyal without calling out for work this year! this has been a tough week but I made it through! I will continue to be loyal! sheesh! lol

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
11:52 am

I received some really really great news last night :) I’m excited about the forthcoming weekend :)

Annnnd, I’m about to start a few renovations in my home. I’m getting my bathroom redone and hardwood floors put in. All by my brother…and no it ain’t free. It’s business :) I’m excited. I told him how much I had and he said oh shoot, I can do it with about 2/3s of what you’re holding. So Saturday we’re doing a walk thru of all I want done. I’m so over the top right about now. My brother does FANTAB work. He’s self employed now but he worked for this guy for 10 years where all the homes built start at $800,000 on up to approx 6MM. So he’s a pro, has a knack and an eye. Too he’s done a number of projects since venturing out on his own and I tell you I’m so dang proud. No shady shiester type stuff. Top notch. I was looking through his before during and after pics and I tell ya, he’s got it going on.

He’s finishing up a project for 40,000 right now :) That’s ain’t millions but it ain’t bad for a 3 man band.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
11:54 am

good deal C!!!!!

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
12:03 pm

i didn’t realize its suppose to rain tomorrow…………..i have a few events here and there and sunday I wanna do brunch and a movie. just a laid back no demand weekend. my classes start back tuesday coming and its a hard one one of my last ones research methods. I am a bit intimated but I will see it through………….

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
12:11 pm

you work hard so play hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
12:13 pm

Lady – Don’t mean to sound or come off as horty torty (that was used in Sweet Home Alabama…lol) but I’m just hyped right about now. I’m about to burst. I get to buy a few other home goodies

czBrat

May 4th, 2012
12:14 pm

lady, not a day goes by that i don’t remind myself i’ve not taken a single sick day in over a year. and plenty mornings (lik this morning) i was sure tempted. congrats to you for your dedication!

celisea, happy happy joy joy all around your way! :lol: your brother sounds like someone i need to have in my contact list.

kimmie

May 4th, 2012
12:16 pm

I am really getting help from above with my diet!

Our office is having a Cinco luncheon. Someone brought a Publix key lime pie. I was waiting behind this lady that was cutting a piece for herself and her manager. She kept licking her fingers after she put each piece on the plates. That turned me off!

I took that as a sign that I didn’t need any!

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
12:16 pm

Thanks czBrat…I didn’t want to sound to braggadocious…lol I’m happy to give you his contact info if you ever need something done. He always give out references when folks want to go with him, as well as share his portfolio of projects.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
12:20 pm

Sweet Alabama is my movie! Reese Witherspoon is one of my girl crushes! haha that movie depicts my 20s except the ending only in Hollywood lolol

Willie Dynamite

May 4th, 2012
12:20 pm

Afternoon All,

On Topic – I not into fixer uppers. Of course with growth comes change but that is a natural thing. We both may make suggestions or even buy things the other would like but no make-overs going on. I’m comfortable and She’s straight. No issue with any of that.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
12:20 pm

czBrat…it was more than a notion coming to this piece today! I am tired.com

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
12:21 pm

Kimmie this will be a cinco de mayo eating and margarita drinking weekend for me and I can’t wait! ;)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 4th, 2012
12:25 pm

thanks to Brat!!!!!!!!!!!! same to you!!!

kimmie

May 4th, 2012
12:25 pm

Same here Lady. Going to get some tequila after work!!

Celisea – That’s awesome!

Celisea

May 4th, 2012
12:27 pm

Kimmie – Thanks. Don’t read it as bragging I just need someone to slap me right about now. I’m excited. More so about my news delivered which sort of lead into being about to do this project. We talked about it but I wasn’t sure I could swing it :)