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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Does your date party too much?

If you meet someone at a bar or a club, is it really fair to judge them for going out too much? I mean, it stands to reason, if they were not outgoing, you never would have met them in the first place, right?

It is interesting how the things we find appeasing and attractive in the beginning of a relationship can be the very same things that wrecks a romance. You love their sense of humor and quirky behavior until you don’t anymore. Great sense of humor becomes “never taking things seriously” and quirky behavior starts to look a lot like a weird freak with strange habits. Ahh, you have to love how familiarity breeds contempt, no?

But I digress. If someone goes out too much, is that a turn off? Do you prefer the type that sticks close to home and is low-key?

I once had a guy I was seeing complain that I was on the go way too much. He much preferred that I go home more and demonstrate my domestic duties for an imaginary family that I don’t have yet. Yes, this was an actual conversation. No, we did not last long.

What are your thoughts? Do you think it is a bad sign if someone “runs the streets” a lot – as the old people like to say.

Happy Wednesday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

178 comments Add your comment

Independent voter

May 2nd, 2012
7:38 am

Don’t go to bars or clubs… church.. sports… hobbies.. even AA.. a better way to meet more conservative mature people

Lily

May 2nd, 2012
7:50 am

Diva, nothing for me in wild places.

SlimNu

May 2nd, 2012
7:52 am

Good morning,

If I met a dude in a bar/club I would not automatically assume he’s a party boy because I’m in there and I’m not a party girl. My ex was a guy that was always going out, always running the streets and for where I am in my life, that’s not a turn on for me. I would prefer someone with a little more balance…a person who does like to do things but doesn’t necessarily HAVE to be running the streets in order to feel alive. Moderation my little grasshoppers ;-)

LL411

May 2nd, 2012
9:15 am

I agree with SlimNu :)

Leggs

May 2nd, 2012
9:15 am

Morning.

If I met someone on a club i wouldn’t automatically think he’s a party animal. I’m also at that same club. I don’t club a lot, but I like to get my dance on every so often. Now, if we became an item and I notice he wants to go the club every other weekend, I would have a problem with that. I like both, being home and hanging out (not always at a club). Just have to find the balance.

disco

May 2nd, 2012
9:28 am

hey y’all. I’m not into hitting the club too much unless 1) I’m out of town (then all bets are off) 2) it’s a family type thing (i.e. us bumrushing the club during the family reunion) or 3) the occasional private party that’s held at the club. as it stands, the last time I was in a club was last year’s family reunion and we are two months away from this year’s family reunion so you can see I’m not the club chick. at this stage in my life I probably wouldn’t even check for a guy I met at a club primarily because I would already anticipate the time in the future when I didn’t want him to go out and he responded with “but you met me at the club”. I figure I can head that argument off at the pass.

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
9:36 am

Does “the guy” party too much? Not at all :)

The club scene is definitely not my scene. While I wouldn’t really be interested in someone hanging out in clubs and running the streets (because running the streets means something where I’m from), I wouldn’t have a problem hanging out pretty regularly…together. Don’t get me wrong, we ain’t gotta be joined at the hip but I would have a problem sitting home the majority of the time and he’s on the go and we’re together. IMO, it’a matter of maturity. Desires and likes and appetites change along with age…or at least I would hope. I don’t want to offend or step on toes so I won’t toss out any ages because really it is up to each individual and what they like but for me, there’s an age range in hanging out at club. Let’s just say the last get together (which has been a minute) with the girls had me feeling weird and looking even weirder at the cat pitching sales at the bar. I know he had me by 10/15 years and even then I felt “out of place.” LOL

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
9:38 am

Oh….morning

Mr. Unknown

May 2nd, 2012
10:06 am

Balance should be key though. The venues should change with age. I hate people that are so insecure that they hate seeing you having a good time without them. Or the control freak that wants to control where you go, who you going to see, why are you going there, oh a group of your friends are going to lunch, then why is she going? Didn’t you have a life before me.
A true homebody should not date an outgoing person that likes to explore and see new things. Its a headache trying to drag them out the house. They would rather sit and watch a reality show then live it?!?

I gotta go gotta go!! Have a good one.

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
10:08 am

For me hanging out with a SO is not about insecurity. I’m cool with you going out with other folks…I have a life too. But I’m not cool with you gone 90% of the time, WE’RE TOGETHER, and I’m only getting 10% of your time. I’m going flying by the seat of my pants :)

Leggs

May 2nd, 2012
10:09 am

Like disco said, the only time I’ve been to a club is for a person’s bday party, as well as the two I gave for myself. Dancing skills getting rusty (lol).

Bluzgirl

May 2nd, 2012
10:10 am

Everything in moderation. I used to be one who wanted to go out all the time. Now, I like to go out some, but mainly like to just chill at home with dinner and a movie. I’ve now been in two relationships with alcoholics who wanted to go out all the time. I’d much prefer the next one be a homebody who only wants to occasionally go out with me.

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
10:12 am

For one thing, I’m a sleepy head early these days. Even though I’m bumming around late hours in the house, I can’t hang too many times past 2 or 3am…lol When I did hang out with the girls, I was batting my eyes around 11:00 and fighting sleep…lol

disco

May 2nd, 2012
10:20 am

leggs – I’ve said before that I’m a fan of the good old fashioned house party, card party, get together or as we used to call them in my neck of the woods – “sets”. so and so is having set Friday night. lol. it’s calmer, more comfortable, you know the folks but occasionally get a new person in the mix. beats the crowds of strangers any day in my book.

plus, like celisea said, I have to own the truth and the truth is I can’t hang. I can go out but I laze around like nobody’s business the next day. the last two weekends I attended bday parties on Saturday night (a 50th and a 15th because I’m diverse like that. lol). the last two weekends I laid on my couch almost all day Sunday trying to regroup.

DreamsMaterialize

May 2nd, 2012
10:24 am

Morning
Just find someone who likes doing the things you like to do. My mom and dad still go salsa dancing, and my grandparents went salsa dancing until my grandfather passed away a few years ago. When you’re with someone, then you’re supposed to be a significant part of their life. If they’re always doing things that don’t include you, then their actions are saying that you aren’t that big a deal in their life. Sure, you’re indivdiduals and should have some non-overlapping interests, but that shouldn’t be the majority.

Leggs

May 2nd, 2012
10:31 am

@Bluz ~ the wording of your last sentence leads one to wonder. :lol: :lol: No, seriously, I know what you mean.

kimmie

May 2nd, 2012
10:31 am

Hey Gang!

I wouldn’t want a frat “animal house” type of dude, but I don’t want a “rocking chair” dude either. Some dudes get lazy and cheap and all they want to do is hang out on the couch, have you serve them dinner & then yall go to bed. No. I am not 90 and if the Lord blesses me to live until 90, I will not act like 90 if I can help it. As long as I can walk, use a cane or a walker or even if I’m wheelchair bound, I’m getting out from time to time. I love concerts, plays, restaurants, festivals, sporting events, shopping. I’ll rest when I’m dead. Either a dude can keep up or he can’t. And I’d prefer not to partake in any of those activities alone. So if he’s always out with his friends and can’t bring me along or is too much of a couch potato, he would not be for me!

Leggs

May 2nd, 2012
10:32 am

@disco ~ I try my best not to pass up a good ole card party, especially Bid. Where there’s bid, there’s a sho nuf good party going down.

Bluzgirl

May 2nd, 2012
10:34 am

@Leggs…I read that over and thought it could be taken a couple of different ways! LOL

Bluzgirl

May 2nd, 2012
10:37 am

@Cel…I hear you on being a sleepy head! I just can’t party like I used to anymore! I used to be a real social butterfly and go out every Fri and Sat and sometimes during the week. I just can’t do all that anymore! Especially not during the week…I’m a zombie the next day at work!

kimmie

May 2nd, 2012
10:42 am

As far as keeping late hours on a regular basis, I can’t hang no more either, Ladies!LOL!! But I gotta get out and do things, something, from time to time!

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
10:45 am

Some dudes get lazy and cheap and all they want to do is hang out on the couch, have you serve them dinner & then yall go to bed

This made me laugh :)

Bluz – Girl, when I cohabitated, we use to hit the clubs together and get home around 3 or 4ish. Back up and AT work at 8:00. No way in the world would I even try that…lol I’m dog tired and at some point my body is going to give in and take it’s rest.

Call me a cynic but I’m suspect of a mate or SO (officially) that’s always gone…lol Couples do things together

kimmie

May 2nd, 2012
10:54 am

we use to hit the clubs together and get home around 3 or 4ish. Back up and AT work at 8:00.

Celisea – For a few years after college, this was me all the way!! Can’t even think about doing that now, plus it just played out with me & my friends.

LL411

May 2nd, 2012
11:00 am

While I met him at the club and we started going out we didn’t do a club, rather other activities we both enjoyed. However, I noticed he had to do something every weekend… If we weren’t seeing each other a particular weekend he was back in the club, man sit your behind down somewhere sometime!

I realized as nice as he was, he wasn’t my type when it came to balance.

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
11:08 am

Kimmie – I did it the entire time I was with buddy…talk about being worn out. Like LL411 I started dreading weekends because he was the same way…ramped up and ready to head out starting Thursdays all the way through Sunday night. Rarely did we stay home and chill. Every now and then we grilled on Sundays and bummed around but rarely. All the time it wasn’t clubs but it was something. BBQs, couple outings, card games…just something. Too, he wasn’t good at Spades so it would be me talking smack with all his friends and him sitting out. That’s a whole ‘nother story….lol That led to arguments the next day over.

FLA

May 2nd, 2012
11:13 am

So did the guys sleep in today?

kimmie

May 2nd, 2012
11:13 am

Celisea – Girl, I get tired just reading about it! Yeah, you gotta have some balance!

Robert

May 2nd, 2012
11:44 am

“If someone goes out too much, is that a turn off?”

It depends on your definition on going out to much. For example I have things to do everyday. Monday’s is my gym night. I workout and play basketball. Tuesday is my rest and relaxation night. I will cook dinner and entertain my guest. Wednesday is the start of my weekend. I might go to a club (old school) or have a cocktail. Thursday is my “ladys night”. I might plan a relaxing evening (movie, massage, etc.) just for the 2 of us. I do not plan things on Friday or Saturday. Most women are “weekend girls” and I want to be flexable with my time just in case I get invited on a weekend get-a-way (mountains, beach, etc.). Sunday I try to go church (AME). This is my weekly routine.

In ATL most men (baseball caps, blue jeans and sneakers) prefer “strip clubs” rather than go to a club/bar to meet someone new or for drinks and dancing. In ATL men over 30 still have a desire to spend their time and money looking at “strippers” rather than find a good woman. Women go to “strip clubs” too (lgbt).

abc

May 2nd, 2012
11:50 am

“if you meet someone at a bar”.

Don’t go to bars to meet people. It’s juvenile, and the quality of person you’re likely to meet — those that have gone to a bar to meet new people — is going to suck. If you have to go to a bar or nightclub to entertain yourself, go with people you know.

Or, find some entertaining interests that aren’t happening in a dang bar. Craziness.

disco

May 2nd, 2012
12:07 pm

guess it’s a super slow day. where’s Stanley when you need him? ha ha.

Bluzgirl

May 2nd, 2012
12:09 pm

I was just thinking that I finally have a day where I can keep up with the blog and there’s hardly anyone here!!!

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
12:14 pm

Stanly is here….just in the form of Robert and abc (sorry you know I like your posts most times…lol) and Velonese when he gets in…lol

I was over reading on another blog dudes paying for sex (Secret Servicemen issue) directly or indirectly. Interesting read. I almost did a copy and paste where a dude said the same exact thing I said when debating with For Real last week. I found it funny because yep, he pretty much said the same but I was blasted (not really) for saying it.

i'm swiss

May 2nd, 2012
12:29 pm

4 Saints players suspended for bounty-gate. Jonathan Vilma suspended for the whole season.

F__k the Saints! :lol:

SlimNu

May 2nd, 2012
12:52 pm

Wow, it’s almost 1 and ya’ll are still on page ONE. As far as the topic goes, the times when I was a little younger that I did go to clubs or bars, I never went with the intention of meeting someone to date. I went to dance and have a good time. The last place I’ve been that even qualifies as a ‘club’ would be Shout and that’s still really not a club club. My beau now falls into a homebody category. He will do things from time to time but for the most part, you’re going to find him at the house.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
12:55 pm

Great news all the way around Swiss!!!! New baby!!!! Saints still on a destructive path!!!!!!!! Good News!!!! ;)

Howdy MIA!

i'm swiss

May 2nd, 2012
1:02 pm

Howdy, Lady! Yep, good news indeed.

Mrs. Swiss just had her first ultrasound this morning. It’s still too early (only about 5 weeks) to really see anything, but since we’re kind of high risk they wanted to make sure everything was looking good so far. So far, so good! Next ultrasound in 2 weeks. :D

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
1:03 pm

C good post your 9:36 >>>> I wouldn’t have a problem hanging out pretty regularly…together. Don’t get me wrong, we ain’t gotta be joined at the hip but I would have a problem sitting home the majority of the time and he’s on the go and we’re together. IMO, it’a matter of maturity.<<<<<<<<<<Describes how I see it and handle mines…………

That cookout I went this past Friday my s/o was present and enjoyed himself and we mix and mingled together and apart and it flowed effortlessly. he is always up for house parties and card parties so it is great going having company with you while out………..

SlimNu

May 2nd, 2012
1:03 pm

O/T Have yall seen the picture of the NJ mom accussed of taking her 5 year old to a tanning bed? She looks like the old lady on that movie ‘Something About Mary’. Clearly you cannot think looking like an Oompa Loompa is cute :shock:

http://news.yahoo.com/photos/mom-arrested-taking-young-daughter-photo-110013428.html

Velonese

May 2nd, 2012
1:04 pm

I have been told I “enjoy” myself too much (not party) but it isn’t my fault my that I sacrificed most of my youth being a “Book nerd” and applying myself to learn and succeed. I am now at the pay-off punch and being hated on because folks are just Jealous, well sucks for you.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
1:05 pm

y’all are on a roll Swiss!!!! Get ready to know the staff by heart!!!! I still go to my same gyn that delivered my child and the receptions is so cool with me she treats me like I am her daughter. I am so happy for you too bc I know it has been a goal for you two!!!! ;)

i'm swiss

May 2nd, 2012
1:05 pm

Oh, and by the way — for those of you who know me outside of blog-ville (like FB, for example), ix-nay on the aby-bay talk for now. We’re not telling anyone yet, until we get a little further along. (But I had to brag to somebody) :D

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
1:07 pm

cool swiss ;) thanks for sharing lol (you really know me ) read between the lines lol I am bout to email you lol

Steven Q. Stanley

May 2nd, 2012
1:08 pm

Beggars can’t be choosers. If you are pushing 40 and still single you are likely going to end up with a drunk. As long as he is employed and doesn’t beat you not a bad deal if you are 37 and still looking for “Mr. Right”.

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
1:09 pm

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
1:15 pm

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
1:16 pm

Hey Lady, how goes it?

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
1:17 pm

I’m eating a Jethro bowl of potato soup….I LOVE potato soup :)

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
1:17 pm

a bumpy week sis but it is getting better!!! ;) I won’t complain!

Lady~Love will win the fight~

May 2nd, 2012
1:18 pm

i am eating baked spaghetti its good too!

Celisea

May 2nd, 2012
1:20 pm