Do you argue too much?
I have a friend who tells me that he has noticed a disturbing trend in the last few months. A lot of the women he has met turn out to be rather argumentative. He is not opposed to debate and spirited conversations, but he flat out refuses to engage in an argument about politics, religion, etc.
I am somewhat surprised that he has managed to attract or be attracted to someone who is argumentative. He is laid back, extremely mellow, and is not one to be excitable. Is this a case of opposites attract?
Do you think that there is a difference between debating and arguing?
Have you ever dated the type of person who seems to enjoy fighting, or arguing? Has anyone ever told you that you argue way too much?
I have to ask, I’m sorry: Are you a lover of a fighter?!
Happy Friday!
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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345 comments Add your comment
Sassy Me...all SMILES :-)
April 27th, 2012
10:08 am
as often as I have wanted to go off on a co-worker, as often as I have fantasized about slinging chicks against walls and hitting folks in the mouth with staplers –
Glad I ain’t the only person fighting those kind of urges…
disco
April 27th, 2012
10:09 am
while I agree with y’all that grown folks shouldn’t be acting a fool in public I can’t help but to think of how my mother always said “where you show your A is where I’m going to whoop you’re A”. needless to say, I’ve had a few public whippings in my day.
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:10 am
ratchetness too BF for both genders! LOL
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:10 am
Brat – Yep, I’m assuming if it came out of you, mad or not, you meant it, is was in you! A slip of the lip can sink a ship!
Sassy – I was just about to go there – a lot of couples seem to get off on the drama. In fact, neither would do well with someone that was calm. To each his/her own, but I’m not the one. Thinking back, I know I had some to try to push me to get a rise out of me. The chicks they dealt with in the past were crazy like that and that’s what they were used to. Go somewhere else with that.
Slim – Some think that public mess is cute. Keep that ish at home.
Leggs
April 27th, 2012
10:13 am
czB ~ I’m right there with you. I have heard how “makeup sex” is the best. I can’t sex you up after you called me everything under the sun and perhaps even thrown something at me (i.e, wedding ring). My emotions are still on the cold side of the stove, not really to turn the burner on for even a slow simmer to boil. I know people can do it, I’m not one of them. I need time to regroup and re-evaulate the words I heard coming out of your mouth (and mine).
That “displaced anger” can be a mofo, czB. Can’t lash out at work so your loved ones get the brunt of it. Your 9:29 is on point!!
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:14 am
Happy Friday!!
Let’s see. I’m quick tempered and had to take in much learning over the years, time and maturity, on how to handle myself in a relationship. There’s a difference in saying what you have to say to nip things in the bud versus going on and on and on. Yes yes, it took time and mistakes…sorry I wasn’t born doing it the right way…lol I’ll address my concerns when they arise and I don’t let too much slide even now. I’m not going to hammer or scold another adult but if the issue is valid we need to get it out there. I don’t spend time worrying if he’ll leave me or if he’ll think bad of me. If I feel it’s valid respect me enough to listen….even if truly it’s not. If you feel your concerns are valid I owe you the same level of respect to really hear you out and understand the place you’re coming from. What I have learned though is there’s a way, time and place for getting said what I need to get said. Not in public, not among friends, not bringing in girlfriends. In private between the two of us.
Now, if I even think to the slightest that you’re a buster bringing wacked mess that apparently worked on a bunch of chicken heads….simply because I’m insulted yeah, no not holding back. When I tell you to kiss my ass eternally on your way out, I mean it. At that point I’ve lost ALLL respect for you and could care less if you have it for me because by this time it will NEVER be anything. Not even friendship. But we don’t have to worry about that because that sort of thing NEVER happens right? LOL
Leggs
April 27th, 2012
10:15 am
@Slim ~ the car is the absolute worse place for me to have an argument! I’m scared to argue in a car.
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:15 am
Lady – Oh you are not the only one to cuss when angry. I’m not really a cusser so I “there” if I cuss.
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:16 am
hmmmm make up sex from a fair fight is somewhat soothing really. I haven’t been disrespected by my mate but after disagreeing and come to common grounds of understanding the loving is just as hot. I have never been in an abusive relationship either so I wouldn’t know how it feels to be abused then have to make love per se
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:18 am
And no, I’m not with any physical exchanges. Naw that ain’t happening…
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:18 am
yeah C I know
howdy chica!!!!
disco
April 27th, 2012
10:20 am
lady – and in between the beatings the children kept coming. lol.
leggs – some real stuff be jumping off in those cars. I know one chick who let her boyfriend put her out of her own car. I still tease her about that to this day. to be put out of his car is one thing but to be forced out of your own car, that’s something else.
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:21 am
disco you read my mind honey. My mama was that woman and I applaud her for your journey!
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:22 am
Lady – No, you are not the only to cuss, but like Celisea said, you have really taken me “there” if I gotta cuss. I cursed one dude out I dated cause he took me there, and I am not proud of it. Even then, I didn’t call him out of his name. I’ve never cursed hubs and he’s never spoken to me that way.
You are more apt to hear me curse if you were a fly on my wall in my car, cause that’s how I deal with my road rage!LOL!!
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:22 am
meant her journey!
Sassy Me...all SMILES :-)
April 27th, 2012
10:22 am
Thinking back, I know I had some to try to push me to get a rise out of me.
Me,too Kimmie. Whenever that happened I always asked them one question, “Do you think this is worth it”…and when they say, “Worth what?” ..I tell them Worth all the bullisht Imma give you if you don’t stop phckin wit me… worked errtime. I don’t deal with that kind of stuff well…why would you purposely try my gangsta like that?!
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:23 am
And the worst is a BIRL, that’s a
manboy and acting girlish. I cannot stand a man that gossips…ugh, I cannot stand a man that whines, I cannot stand a man that take cheap shots to ATTEMPT to belittle a woman or have her succumb under him. I cannot stand a man with no discretion and worse than a broken refridgerator where he can’t hold a dang thing! I cannot stand a man that does it all with a woman and when he’s on the outs blasts to anybody that will listen. And I cannot stand a man that will lie to others all to make himself to appear to be the winner between something gone wrong.SlimNu
April 27th, 2012
10:23 am
disco – Public spankings get you locked up these days…
Leggs – My best friends sister was having an argument with her husband and she was driving. Don’t you know this fool punched her in the side of her face so hard he broke her jaw. Then he put her out of the car and left her on the side of the road unconscious…in Colorado in the WINTER TIME!!!!! Another car came by and saw her, then took her to the hospital. The guy ended up spending 3wks in jail and don’t you know she is still with him?!!!
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:24 am
yeah Kimmie that is understandable I do get that some level of anger is more tempered than others. Like BF referenced emotions and for me a curse word may come quicker than others. I told yall I am passionate in all areas of my life and making a point sometimes with passion and emotions will get a WTH or WTF. I am just being honest lol
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:25 am
Kimmie – Yep so true…and if he takes me “there”, like Sassy said…all bets are off and it’s anything goes. Don’t act shocked or be surprised…lol
Hey there Lady! What’s crackalackin?
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:26 am
And I cannot stand a man that will lie to others all to make himself to appear to be the winner between something gone wrong. <<<<<<<<<<<That is called a coward and they irk the hezzy out of me! smh C LOL
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:27 am
Nothing but the rent C!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:29 am
Leggs – Yeah, the arguing while driving thing is scary. I try not to even fuss at the kids while driving because it can really break your concentration on the road.
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:29 am
Sometimes I wish I could be more passive but I am doing better at leaving it be! If he say he got it I don’t touch it no matter how he does it or even if if irks me I just leave it be~
you got sir! 
Sassy Me...all SMILES :-)
April 27th, 2012
10:29 am
Oh you are not the only one to cuss when angry.
I’m so guilty of this…I’ve even made up some words n phrases. When I broke things off with the boy toy I went in on him so hard he said at one point he didn’t believe it was me on the phone…I laughed at that later on…don’t judge me
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:31 am
Sassy – I’m laughing. I ain’t judging
SlimNu
April 27th, 2012
10:31 am
Oh, and I failed to mention the husband did all that while the kids were in the car.
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:32 am
Leggs – You see Grey’s & Scandal last night?
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:33 am
Slim – That’s awful. And you wonder why some of these kids grow up to act like they do. Look at their examples!
czBrat
April 27th, 2012
10:35 am
Once I get angry ALL bets are off and there’s no telling what’ll happen…I don’t like to get like that and try not to but there are times…
lol. one of the more difficult things s/o and i had to learn about each other was that as long as we’re both talking we’re good. if either of us goes to straight silence, something dangerous is going to pop off. i have figured out that touch is the best way to bring him back from the brink. he has figured out that calling me “baby” in that moment is a huge mistake.
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:35 am
I have a friend that told me she saw a dude hitting his woman in the car and she called 911. Said she followed the car and was telling the dispatcher every street they turned down until the cops arrived. She was in her SUV and they were in a car so that made it possible for her to look down at them. Said the lady was driving and buddy was punching her the entire time. That made me ill when she told me. I was happy she reported.
Sassy Me...all SMILES :-)
April 27th, 2012
10:35 am
Then he put her out of the car and left her on the side of the road unconscious…in Colorado in the WINTER TIME!!!!! Another car came by and saw her, then took her to the hospital. The guy ended up spending 3wks in jail and don’t you know she is still with him?!!!
See sh/t like that will make a muhf@#ka come up missin…wooosaaah
Get the behind me satan…
disco
April 27th, 2012
10:35 am
slim/kimmie – once I flat handed my son while I was driving. I hit that boy so hard his head bounced off the window. another friend of mine said her hubs was driving and one of her daughters mouthed off in the backseat. she said she crawled halfway over the seat to slap that girl. whew – maybe some of us are too hard on our kids. (did I say that? lol.)
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:36 am
Celisea – Your 10:23 is a perfect definition of a wuss!
That’s why I can’t stand Kobe Bryant! Every time I see him he’s always beyotching or whining about something!!
disco
April 27th, 2012
10:39 am
C – if you were in my neck of the woods I would wonder if that was my neighbor your friend followed. she told me of getting hit in the car while she was driving. I told her she was better than me. if there was a police station close for me to pull into I would have driven the passenger side into a telephone pole or something. whew. I’m going to pull back. see? talking about arguments progresses to violence.
kimmie / leggs – I watched scandal. I am definitely not feeling either one of the female employees. one (just my opinion) is a beeyotch and the other is a punk.
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:41 am
Kimmie – You know! A dude sulking because he wasn’t able to “get over” or play her so now like some woman, he’s going in for the kill by trying to either make her look bad or intimate or becomes threatening. Some of us down back down for how apparently you’ve mistreated women over the years. I say for every dude out there wearing pannies like that, there’s a match in the form of a woman just waiting to happen to him
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:42 am
disco – Those 2 females in Scandal are, like Evelyn on BBW said “a non-MFing factor”! They are just fillers!!
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:43 am
disco – I chuckled a bit because I did think (while typing) she should have drove him off a cliff but then that would have been her too. Driving his side of the car into a telephone pole is funny as heck. Bet he’ll think twice the next time he smack a woman….lol Yep, that’s why we have car insurance….FOR ACCIDENTS
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:45 am
I love Scandal yall!!!!! Great show!
SlimNu
April 27th, 2012
10:45 am
Sassy – not to make light of the situation but I read this: “Get thee behind me satan…” in the voice of David Allen Grier
kimmie
April 27th, 2012
10:46 am
Lady – Yeah, Scandal is the business!! My BIL said he thought it moved too fast! Naw, it’s just right!!
Sassy Me...all SMILES :-)
April 27th, 2012
10:47 am
should’ve been *get thee behind me* but y’all get the jist.
Celi as long as you’re laughing “with” me chica
Gurl I really hurt his feelins when I did that. He said he didn’t know I could talk like that…poor thang. You gone learn today 
i have figured out that touch is the best way to bring him back from the brink.
Yeah cz, there’s something about that that has a calming effect. And you can tell when their breathing pattern changes and some of the nots/frowns in their faces go away…shoulders relax and then they start talking.
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:47 am
“intimidate” and “don’t” …..in my 10:41
Leggs
April 27th, 2012
10:48 am
SlimNu ~ I almost teared up picturing that exchange. Never say never, but I know my “constitution,” and I could not let someone back in my heart that broke my jaw, put me out of the car in the dead of winter knowing I hate, hate, hate being cold, and driving off. Naw, I would never be the same so why try to form a better relationship with someone who clearly thought little of me to do that. Once disrespect for me has flown out the window like that, I couldn’t go back. Not knocking those that do, everyone seems to have a valid reason why they go back, just like I would have a valid reason not to.
@kimmie ~ yes, I saw both shows. Why she sleep with him is beyond me, then worry that Jesus no longer likes her. Such a hypocrite. Didn’t like that scene. Can’t blame the chief at all, not at all. I thought he was going to back out at one point.
Scandal is just good at every turn. The President’s right hand man is a TRICK!
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:48 am
the pace is perfect Kimmie! It beats out Boston Legal and I loved Boston Legal and Ally McBeal
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:50 am
Sassy – I’m laughing “with” you because I know me. Heck we ain’t perfect. You scratch it long enough it’s coming to the surface.
What about women that won’t ever let go and just hold it together all the time? I’m together most times but if we need to have a heated discussion, let’s do that. I think it’s healthy. I think it’s unhealthy to hold something in out of fear or to appear to be happy or okay with it. Anything festering long enough will eventually come out. Do it rationally rather than exploding.
Lady~Love will win the fight~
April 27th, 2012
10:50 am
C I know what you meant with your context sis~
disco
April 27th, 2012
10:52 am
kimmie – I wasn’t feeling either of them from the first show but after last night’s show I was just thinking “I’m sick of both of these heffas”. the new hire chick got on my bad side crying the first episode and it didn’t help that she comes off as dense, she doesn’t follow instructions and she doesn’t have the good sense to stay away from the reporter that keeps bamboozling her.
the other chick is just snooty and thinks she’s all that. I wasn’t feeling how she keeps making cheap shots at old boy (the one who got engaged and used to be with escorts). her shots aren’t friendly, we’re cool, I’m just playing shots. she acts like she’s jealous because he doesn’t want her. I also don’t like that she thinks she can blatantly disregard rules. so what she was a battered woman. Olivia should have told her I sent you to find a chick not save a chick. also, she fits in with today’s topic. she’s also argumentative.
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:53 am
Leggs – Never say never, but I know my “constitution,” and I could not let someone back in my heart that broke my jaw, put me out of the car in the dead of winter knowing I hate, hate, hate being cold, and driving off.
I too believe in never say never but IMO something that extreme would hurt so bad physically and emotionally that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I think if we had kids I could become amicable in dealings for their sake but that would be the end of that. I guess for me I can’t wrap my mind around believe a man loves me that would hurt me and put me in harms way. I just can’t wrap my mind around such behavior. And even if we had kids and had to interact, that would been from the end of a long handled spoon.
Celisea
April 27th, 2012
10:55 am
Lady – Thanks. I typing as I think and sometimes, my mind is running…lol It’s sometimes hard to type as quick as my mind is moving