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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Difference between girlfriend and wife?

I was watching a panel of men discuss dating and marriage the other day. One of the men stated that to a lot of men, there is not much difference between a girlfriend and a wife. Obviously, this got my attention because I always believed that men had “limited” loyalty to a girlfriend.

Maybe I am being naive but do some men really think that a girlfriend is equal to a wife? Do you believe that dating boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are comparable to an actual marriage?

What do you think is the difference between a girlfriend and wife or boyfriend or husband?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

275 comments Add your comment

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
9:43 am

“There are plenty of LTR that mirror a real marriage but aren’t recognized legally” – that’s where a lot get tripped up, being in relationships that “mirror” a marriage. Even common-law marriages are not recognized by all states.

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
9:43 am

Oh….Steve Harvey’s morning show had John Legend on there…and his sexy song Tonight. All the women AND MEN were swooning in the studio over that song.

czBrat

April 20th, 2012
9:43 am

agreed, lady. quite frankly, my first read of today’s topic had me baffled. i was just trying to put a perspective on it that might make a little sense (to me). that’s why i mentioned special gf vs.every gf.

as to legality, disco said it. some things are black and white. his company don’t care how much he luvs me and mine; they ain’t paying for our damn dental cleanings before the certificate!!

Mike P

April 20th, 2012
9:43 am

@czBrat and Leggs: good morning to both of you… what I was trying to say was that if the man is a real, stand-up dude, myself included, then we’re gonna treat our girlfriends the same way we would if we were to marry her, listen to me please, when we truly open our hearts, and I mean truly open it for you, we don’t hold back anything, if we in, we in, if we ain’t, we ain’t, a signed piece of paper isn’t gonna change that, and it really is that simple. It usually the woman herself or the very notion of losing the woman we opened up to that make us want to get married, we don’t desire to get married for the sake of getting married. Think about it, whenever you ask your male friends if they want to get married, usually they will say NO!!! unless he already has someone in mind. but when you ask your female friends that same question, they say yes even if the woman doesn’t have anyone in there lives at the moment.

@czBrat: the fling is NOT the girlfriend. If you hear guys say that, its all marketing hype, believe that!

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
9:48 am

Lady – How many times do we have to hear that tune?…lol Good Lawd! After while they’re gonna run out of names. I’m just kidding. In all seriousness I don’t understand laying the blame for something gone wrong totally on another. Whatever the situation and more so in a marriage. I would think it would be a time of reflection of what part did I contribute to cause it to fail and what can I do different next time. But being stuck on she got fat, sex stopped, she didn’t cater to me anymore…give it a rest…lol

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:49 am

Mike P I have heard your assessment before just recently too! >>>>>>>>>when we truly open our hearts, and I mean truly open it for you, we don’t hold back anything, if we in, we in, if we ain’t, we ain’t, a signed piece of paper isn’t gonna change that, and it really is that simple. #interesting

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:50 am

so for the men who marry and their hearts are somewhere else the WIFE still have executive privileges. call it what you want but it is what it is.

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:51 am

Ditto C! Blame game isn’t cool and speaks volume on one’s character~

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:52 am

that is over a period of time to a man’s heart being somewhere else for some that is…………..Let’s not act like it doesn’t occur

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
9:53 am

Good morning, MikeP. I truly believe that when a woman has a man who truly opens his heart, her heart will completely open as well. That’s a given. All I’m saying is don’t expect a gf to act wifey if the man isn’t deserving and acting like he’s husband material.

When I now ask my female friends if they want to get married, only one says Yes! Just one.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 20th, 2012
9:54 am

Cosigning Mike P’s 9:43….

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
9:54 am

I have an aunt (okay another story…lol), beautiful woman whose husband left her early in their marriage and never came back. He had girlfriends and eventually married. He worked for Ford up until the time of his death. I don’t believe as he died in his early 60s but he consciously NEVER changed her from being the beneficiary. NEVER. The second wife tried to contest but there was nothing she could do. My aunt got it all…..everything. Funny thing was he went to work for Ford after they divorced. If I’m not mistaken he left within two years of their marriage.

She always said well, he wouldn’t take care of me and keep with his duties in life so, he did it in death.

I think he loved her but during that time in his life the streets had a hold of him.

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
9:55 am

eventually REmarried

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
9:56 am

Okay…I’m cutting up to too much I guess. I was saying I don’t think he made it to retirement

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:56 am

C proved my silent thoughts! It happens sis! Thank You!

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
9:57 am

Lady – Yep

czBrat

April 20th, 2012
10:03 am

mike p 9:43, admirable sentiment. we’ll leave it at that.

sadly, celisea, your story brings to mind how my dad was said to have called for my mum to be at his side when he was dying. they had been divorced almost 25 years and he was remarried about 20 years. but in those final moments, he wanted his first love; his first wife; the mother of his kids. she didn’t make it there in time.

and um, yeah, we six kids were still his only beneficiaries.

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
10:05 am

czBrat – Yes, as with my aunt’s husband and your dad, I believe it was love, still…no matter what went awry before the time of their passing

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
10:08 am

>>>>> I believe it was love, still…no matter what went awry before the time of their passing<<<<<<<<<<I agree my daddy will get this too even before he pass. lol my parents are still legally married and he lives with his gf go figure! our culture!

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
10:09 am

O/T: The movie Dark Shadows is coming out this week. Ironically, the real Barnabas Collins, Jonathan Frid, died at the age of 87.

R.I.P – I loved Dark Shadows, especially Baranbas.

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
10:11 am

the catch 22 is most folks ain’t changing or touching that paperwork. we are a reactive society not proactive.

Fion

April 20th, 2012
10:13 am

“Maybe I am being naive but do some men really think that a girlfriend is equal to a wife?”

Aye man, put a stop to this non-sense and foolishness. Ladies any man that tells you a girlfriend is equal to a wife and you believe it, get ready cause you just set yourself up for a lifetime of BS.

czBrat

April 20th, 2012
10:15 am

leggs, since you bring it up. am i the only one that was :shock: when i first saw the previews? did you know the remake would have a comedic twist? as sure as hell didn’t.

oh and yeah, that’s so sad about barnabas.

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
10:21 am

@czB ~ just saw the trailer yesterday and I was very, very disappointed. I had no idea.

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
10:22 am

Morning All!

I cannot believe these dudes are saying there is no difference between a gf & a wife!! I CANNOT believe it!! I remember them saying just the opposite on so many occasions!! I’ve heard that even among my male friends too. There is a distinct difference between the 2. A few of the men I dated made sure I understood the difference. In turn, I made sure they understood THEY didn’t get the same rights & priviledges a hubby would have(as Mike P stated in his first post). It was not just intimacy, but other things. For example, until the ring and the signed papers, did NO laundry for a dude. That is just one of those wifely things I refused to do for a bf. Believe me, if you don’t make sure those lines are not blurred in the least, a person will take full advantage, yet leave you out of the IMPORTANT distinctions, like insurance coverage and the like.

There are plenty of people that don’t want marriage and that’s perfectly okay for them. But until I got the ring and the date was set, certain wife perks were not allowed. Don’t even fix your mouth to say that “it’s just a piece of paper” mess to me.

I do believe, like Mike P said, that if a person loves and cares and is committed in their heart to you, they will treat you like a wife/hubs while dating. It may sound contridictory, but it’s kinda like you’re married in your head before you make it legal. For example, you won’t go sleeping with someone else and say “well I don’t have a ring on my finger” as the excuse for cheating.

Mike P

April 20th, 2012
10:23 am

@Leggs: And there’s the skinny of it all!!! the man you are dating SHOULD already be of husband material (I’m taking about his personality and characteristics, and not his physical possessions). that is, if your desires are to be married with the man, date only those who are marriage-worthy. If you date anyone else for any other reason, then you all cannot complain about the end result that’s gonna be full of struggle, longings, dis-contentment, disharmony, emptiness, and pain without the payout being worthwhile.

One other thing leggs, you get what’s coming to you, AND you get what you PAY for. If GOD requires you to open up completely (heart not legs) before you can receive your heart’s desire, it would well serve you to relent. and don’t expect a man to be the one simply because you’re sexually excited about him or sexually active with him or because of the chemistry or whatever the other excuses people like to use.

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
10:26 am

@Mike P ~ that’s how I operate, only date those that are worthy and not date for the hell of dating. Guess you don’t really know my story. None of that post relates to me, but thank you.

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
10:26 am

Leggs/Brat – Ironic, I was just talking to sis & brother about Dark Shadows. We are very disappointed they are making the movie a comedy. Johnny Depp is a good choice for Barnabus, but the trailer is silly. Sorry about Jonathan Frid. He has a cameo in the upcoming movie too.

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
10:36 am

Gotta agree with Fion’s post on this.

czBrat

April 20th, 2012
10:36 am

lol @ leggs & kimmie. would you believe i actually questioned my sanity for a brief second when i first saw the trailer? i asked myself (out loud!!) “i thought i remember this being really scary when i was a kid? was i afraid of a vampire comedy???” that sh!t really pissed me off. i mean, dark shadows was my original intro to fright night. and ya’ll know how i feel about my blood and gore! :grin:

disco

April 20th, 2012
10:39 am

okay. I feel like the village idiot. I have no idea what this dark shadows is.

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
10:50 am

Dark Shadows – My sibs watched it but I vaguely remember.

topic cont’d – I’m siding with Fion too. A man can make his mouth say anything. I’m not a man but I’m not believe the hype that I’m your eternal gf but we are there together because I’m wifey material. Wifey material turns into wife

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
10:50 am

Brat – My older sister watched Dark Shadows when it was on originally and me & my younger brothers watched the old reruns on channel 17 Superstation. When I got older, I used to rent the series from Blockbuster. It was off the chain.

I happened to be talking about how much I loved that series & how I can’t get into these new vampires to hubs. He is a movie buff and got the extended trailer and showed it to me. I was hurt kinda. But I’ll go see it to show my loyalty to Barnabus. I’m not happy though, and sis is hurt too!

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
10:53 am

I don’t feel like working today….at all

Fion

April 20th, 2012
10:54 am

Now, some of you ladies have been guarding you ages better than the formula to Coca-Cloa. If you know about Dark Shadows and Barnabus, you’re about to give way the store. :)

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
10:56 am

@disco ~ Dark Shadows was the original Twilight. Used to run home from school to catch it. Barnabus was the most loved vampire. He was “macking” back then (lol). Victoria, his wife (?) was clever and made a great team (lol).

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
10:57 am

@Fion ~ we had a day where many told their ages. I’ve never guarded mine. I embrace my age and love how I’m aging.

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
10:57 am

Fion – They used to show it along with all the old shows like Leave it to Beaver and Andy Griffith on channel 17. For a long time, that’s the only station my parents would let us watch, cause those shows were harmless. My older half sis was a teenager when I was born.

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
10:59 am

Leggs – Yeah, Barnabus was the man!LOL!! My sis used to run home too to watch it!

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
10:59 am

Thank you Kimmie. My oldest brother has me by 12 years

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
10:59 am

And my mama was knocking 40

Mike P

April 20th, 2012
11:01 am

@Leggs, I wasn’t suggesting that you YOU were or weren’t… I was merely replying to your post about men acting the part BEFORE the women will… so when I said you, I was referring the general “YOU” any reader that “YOU” applies lol :)

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
11:03 am

Anybody got anything hot to toss out? I’m bored to death…and I have work to do. Just struggling with getting busy. I mean I’ve been working but I’ve got a beast to conquer before I leave today…ugh

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
11:03 am

Roberta Flack @ Dogwood Festival tomorrow @ Piedmont Park! ;) Wine Time!

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
11:04 am

Old School Saturday is this weekend too…………..I know I probably will not be making it but my goal is to make Piedmont Park!

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
11:05 am

Celisea – I’m the oldest from my dad’s 2nd set. My older siblings lost their mom.

Just Kidding

April 20th, 2012
11:05 am

Girlfriend – Listens to everything you say and want to do things for you
WIfe – Wants to always tell you what to do and remind you of everything you cannot do

Getting Married is like getting Xfinity with HBO, Showtime,Cinemax and Sports Package but you are only allowed to watch one channel for the rest of your life

kimmie

April 20th, 2012
11:06 am

Lady – Hope the weather is nice this weekend!

Fion

April 20th, 2012
11:06 am

@Leggs
I ain’t gone call no names (Celisea) but it’s a few swear they 29 or 30.

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
11:09 am

Kimmie – Wow…I didn’t know that.

Fion – Why are you so fixated on me? LOL I laugh everytime you attempt a shot. Remember when we were kids and a boy would hit your or yank your hair and run? Well the old folks would say “baby he just likes you” That’s what I think about you. I don’t act 29 or 30 and have NEVER insinuated such. Matter of fact you couldn’t pay me to go back to that place. Maybe I’m young at heart and it resonates over the airwaves.