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Difference between girlfriend and wife?

I was watching a panel of men discuss dating and marriage the other day. One of the men stated that to a lot of men, there is not much difference between a girlfriend and a wife. Obviously, this got my attention because I always believed that men had “limited” loyalty to a girlfriend.

Maybe I am being naive but do some men really think that a girlfriend is equal to a wife? Do you believe that dating boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are comparable to an actual marriage?

What do you think is the difference between a girlfriend and wife or boyfriend or husband?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

275 comments Add your comment

Tawani

April 20th, 2012
6:55 am

Men are just stupid and this is the reason most marriages break down because they think like this. WE all know they are weak especially when it comes to sex. This is the reason why they think there is no difference. What they feel in their weak minds that they can’t get from their wife, they know there is another woman they may call their girlfriend that they can get it from. All the time, not knowing that the girlfriend only want their money. These women are stupid to hold on to them for so long as a girlfriend because they don’t want to get married and when they finally do get married, they keep another woman on the side who is just as stupid as they are to give them what they want or they think they can’t get from home. It’s the other head that allows them to think like this, that’s why they are the stupid species.

Fred

April 20th, 2012
7:08 am

A little bitter there, Tawani?

One man’s opinion does not equal all men. Much will depend on his moral values from his parents and culture. Men are all over in their matur

Fred

April 20th, 2012
7:13 am

Dang smartphone!

Men are all over in their maturaty levels as well. It is difficult to make sweeping generalizations just as it is in women. I for one, put way more effort into maintaining my relationship with my wife than I ever did with my girlfriends. The connection is much stronger with too many shared experiences that help bring us closer.

Lily

April 20th, 2012
7:15 am

Diva there is a difference in girlfriend and wife because there are girlfriends and then there are wives. Nothing to be angry about….lol If you are a girlfriend then don’t let yourself get treated like the wife you’ll never be. If you are the wife then make sure you not treated like a girlfriend.

Good day!

Lily

April 20th, 2012
7:20 am

I believe those men looking to get a pass on marriage but all the perks of a wife will sell the “its just a piece of paper” line. Don’t fall for it.

Lily

April 20th, 2012
7:22 am

Tawani, I hope things get better your post sounded heavy :)

Big Al

April 20th, 2012
7:27 am

You have to shave for your girl friend. You do not have to shave for your wife.

Hokey47

April 20th, 2012
7:32 am

There is no difference between girlfriend and wife until you have kids. There may be a difference on paper, but there is no difference in behavior until you have a totally dependent being for the two of you to develop and support. That’s when the commitment you made a marriage becomes reality.

huh???

April 20th, 2012
7:36 am

so you aren’t really matured nor serious until you have kids even though you’ve taken vows? huh?!?!?!

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
8:14 am

Fantastic Friday MIA!!!!! ;)

Good Topic!

n

April 20th, 2012
8:15 am

A girlfriend Is someone that you can have fun and a good time with. The guy does not feel “trapped”.
Some people simply do not relate well in close relationships.
Now let us take the secret service guys. They have the responsiblity for making the President secure. If they had wives they would be a distraction from their responsiblities. They are on the go, hither and yon.
On occasion they want a girl to relax with, share themselves with so they have to look around where ever they are for[a temporary wife].
I think you understand. Some people simply do not understand a temporary wife so they call it a girlfriend.

DeeDee

April 20th, 2012
8:18 am

I agree. I would have never married my husband if I felt I had “limited” loyalty. The difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife is the marriage certificate and covenant commitment made before God/judge or God/family, friends, etc. You have to feel that commitment in your heart as a girlfriend/boyfriend first.

Wow

April 20th, 2012
8:18 am

Sorry Tawani, but maybe your attitude of “men are just stupid” could be the root cause of some of your frustrations. Maybe it’s just the men that you attract (or are attracted to) that are just stupid.

So. Married 21 years. Wife vs. Girlfriend? Difference: I KNOW that 20 years from now my wife and I will still be married. Similarities: I still make a daily decision to date my wife and convince her that I’m the one (that one works both ways).

If you and your spouse never stop “dating” once married you’re gonna last longer. (And have more fun).

huh???

April 20th, 2012
8:20 am

So far, the stupidest post if the day

huh???

April 20th, 2012
8:20 am

So far, the stupidest post if the day

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
8:22 am

LOL @ Lilly with the “paper theory” don’t believe the hype huh!!!

A wife can make executive decisions and plan her husbands funeral. Unless specifically written in a will a girlfriend can’t.

Cdog

April 20th, 2012
8:24 am

I had heard this before too, but was able to ask for clarification. The gentleman sharing this with me had said (effectively) there is no difference in the woman’s behavior between wife and girlfriend, only their level of commitment to one another. He expected his girlfriend to want to be and behave the same way as his wife, and that by marrying her, the only difference was he was committing to take care of/love her forever.

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
8:24 am

@Wow I agree please date your husband and wife! Keep the fire burning even through the silence and quietness~

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
8:29 am

The two roles are NOT equal and its a fine line to play your role accordingly as a girlfriend before getting wife access. It could backfire and feelings could be hurt if one is over extending her role playing as if…………#itiswhatitis

Rick

April 20th, 2012
8:30 am

When you are dating, each person has to keep doing the things that brought them together, because there is always the possibility that the other will not stand for it and walk away. In marraige, some parties have the attitude of “I can do and act any way that I want, because he/she is married to me. To walk away will cost big time.” In my experience, I dated a lady for 5 years that made me feel like I was in a fantasy world. She was simply spectacular on all fronts. Then we got married…..and things rapidly changed. She complained, whined, ordered me around, sex became a chore for her, gained a lot of weight. I thought “Who IS this person?”. The marriage lasted 6 years and I will never make that mistake again. The rumors of marraige….are….true. You can debate all you want, justify, rationalize, try to explain, etc. about how it isn’t always this way or (and this is the most popular comment among the ladies) “Maybe you stopped doing the things you did when you dated!”, but women look at marraige as a finish line, not the continuation of a relationship. The race is over, you have crossed the finish line and now you can do whatever, whenever, say whatever, act whatever you feel like. After all, he can’t leave you now….until he does.

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
8:41 am

“I Think I love My Wife” is a good solid movie! Love Chris Rock and he has has his share of martial drama and him and his WIFE are holding on still……………

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
8:45 am

Morning.

It’s amazing how some feel there is no difference between gf and wife. The difference is (1)THE TITLE; (2) the perks (i.e, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning to name a few); (3) “legally” united and recognized by law enabling one to have and receive more benefits as the spouse.

“…but women look at marraige as a finish line, not the continuation of a relationship.”

@Rick ~ those women don’t stay married. The woman committed to her marriage doesn’t see a finish line. She sees the joyful commingling of two lives where dating and loving one another is still part of the big picture.

disco

April 20th, 2012
8:47 am

limited loyalty to a girlfriend? heck, I know countless men also have limited (or selective) loyalty to their wives but I won’t even go into all that (and so we don’t have the double standard debate this early I also know countless women who have selective loyalty as well). do men recognize a difference between a wife and girlfriend? sure but if you get the wifey benefits from the girlfriend why not take advantage of the situation especially if you don’t want to be married? make it do what it do.

Shaunie

April 20th, 2012
8:48 am

Fellas – is girlfriend sex freakier than married sex?

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
8:49 am

This sums it if for me! The law is on a wife’s side. ;) The other factors are added benefits that I will look forward to as a wife through the thick and thin #growth>>>>> “legally” united and recognized by law enabling one to have and receive more benefits as the spouse.

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
8:53 am

but if you get the wifey benefits from the girlfriend why not take advantage of the situation especially if you don’t want to be married? make it do what it do <<<<<<<<@ disco do you think the more older a women gets she is more open to this?!? Makes me think of the SOS Band song "Just be Good to Me"

Mike P

April 20th, 2012
8:54 am

Wise Diva wrote – ” I always believed that men had “limited” loyalty to a girlfriend”

My response – Nope, its actually the women who, admittedly, say they like to limit things with a man until marriage. The women on this blog have already stated this on the other day’s blog.

Wise Diva wrote – ” Maybe I am being naive but do some men really think that a girlfriend is equal to a wife?

My response – for the most part, yes. If you are truly are girlfriend, then yes, in our minds, you are the wifey. a big difference between the two has a lot to do with the third-party, majority-party, permission-slip, contract the husband and wife signs-on to with their government (marriage license).

Wise Diva wrote – “Do you believe that dating boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are comparable to an actual marriage?

My response – nope, the relationship is what proceeds the actual marriage. Men get married to keep said relationship with a woman and to prevent other men from trying, while women get married because they want to get married. If men can keep the relationship with a woman in perpetuity, without marriage, we wouldn’t get married in most cases.

Shaunie

April 20th, 2012
8:54 am

Ladies- would you rather have his heart or his money?

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
8:58 am

“Wise Diva wrote – ” Maybe I am being naive but do some men really think that a girlfriend is equal to a wife?

My response – for the most part, yes. If you are truly are girlfriend, then yes, in our minds, you are the wifey”

Ok, Mike P, since this is your stance, do you act husbandlike to your wifey gf? You can’t expect her to act wifey if there’s no husbandlike behavior on your part. And no, can’t assume because you feel they go hand in hand, you’re doing what “husbands” do. Just curious.

disco

April 20th, 2012
8:58 am

lady – I don’t think it’s an age thing. it’s personal and based on what you want. some folks grow up wanting marriage. some folks never even really have it on their radar. some folks would never dream of a long-term shacking up relationship and others could care less if they shacked ‘til death do they part’. all I really meant is that if one party wants marriage and the other party doesn’t that the party who doesn’t might as well ride the ride for as long as they can.

shaunie – you wrong. I won’t out and out say I’d rather have his money but I will say I don’t want a broke man’s heart.

dc

April 20th, 2012
8:59 am

Key is, after becoming a husband/wife, still focusing on your partner as if you aren’t “locked in”. Once one of both of you start taking the other for granted, and stop being “good” to the other person (whatever that means to your partner), the marriage will become stale and lifeless.

If that happens before marriage, then it’s easy to leave the relationship and move on. Not so easy, afterwards.

Leggs

April 20th, 2012
9:00 am

@Shaunie ~ you wanted his heart, but since you couldn’t have that, you went for the money as a bandage for your broken heart. But since your show BBWives is being renewed, you’re doing pretty good yourself. :wink:

Rick

April 20th, 2012
9:00 am

An old saying goes that applies to both the men and the women “Pay attention to how things are when you are dating, the things you like, the things that bother you and the things you dislike, because when you are dating, that’s the best that it’s ever going to be.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Tina

April 20th, 2012
9:01 am

Fred? If you EVER (and i hope you dont) get divorced …..Look me up :)

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:03 am

The cake, cake, cake theory is in place this morning!

Disco good assessment I see your point………..

Shaunie I would love to know what it feels like to have a man’s whole heart intertwined with mine! One Day! I am a believer! ;)

Shaunie

April 20th, 2012
9:03 am

@Disco-at least you’re honest! Sorry to go off topic a lil, but a good topic will make you think beyond the original question. :)

Tina

April 20th, 2012
9:04 am

@Big Al…….TOO Funny, BUT hoping you are NOT serious:)

Button

April 20th, 2012
9:04 am

Sadly there is no difference between a girlfriend and a wife. Society has dumb down marriage esp in the US as if it’s a big joke. Only thing that separates gf from wife is ink on a piece of paper and that can be cancelled at a drop of a dime. Most gf are doing wifly(sp) duties with pleasure and thinking nothing about it.

Shaunie

April 20th, 2012
9:06 am

Shaunie I would love to know what it feels like to have a man’s whole heart intertwined with mine! One Day!I am a believer!

@Lady- that was a very romatic statement-me too

huh???

April 20th, 2012
9:06 am

Shaunie how old are you? Didn’t dating men for their money go out with 80s?

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:07 am

Shaunie

April 20th, 2012
9:10 am

@huh? – I never said i did, I just asked the question. btw im 32. Shaunie rule #26- If it don’t apply let it fly!

Bill Clinton

April 20th, 2012
9:11 am

Girlfriends are cheaper….But whose wife are you talking about ???….You gonna introduce me ???

SlimUno

April 20th, 2012
9:18 am

If men can keep the relationship with a woman in perpetuity, without marriage, we wouldn’t get married in most cases

Basically the point I was trying to make the other day about how men view marriage…

czBrat

April 20th, 2012
9:24 am

in it’s simplest form, the difference between a girlfriend and a wife is sin.

just to put a certain perspective on it, perhaps the gents in that discussion were trying to say that SPECIAL gf (not the fling), means as much to them as a wife. i say this because s/o has made it clear by word and action that we are already his family. he regards us and treats us as such. he’s not waiting for the vows to dedicate himself at that level. i suppose it’s possible that’s what these guys are trying to say, but i’m assuming they didn’t mean for it to apply to EVERY gf. *shrugs*

mike p, of all the things some of us blogettes said were “limited” before marriage, loyalty was not one.

czBrat

April 20th, 2012
9:26 am

*clears groggy, early morning throat* HiYas! (so rude of me)

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:29 am

Brat I totally get that and much has been invested by you both on your way to exchanging vows……my thought process is way before that and acting as if. There are plenty of LTR that mirror a real marriage but aren’t recognized legally I will digress with the law bc everything ain’t black and white

disco

April 20th, 2012
9:35 am

lady – everything isn’t black and white but some things are. following topic, either you are married or you are not married. can’t stand when folks put themselves out as single because they are separated. separated is still married. can’t stand when folks claim their significant other’s family members as in-laws when they are not married. can’t stand when folks say they might as well be married. I’m like well if you feel that way you might as well GET married.

Celisea

April 20th, 2012
9:39 am

Morning lovelies,

Wow….where to start?

Difference between gf and wife? Honor, what czBrat said and responsibility…IMO And leaning to what disco said, I don’t really get too many folks that are bragging on marriage because much of the married population don’t honor it no way…in some form or another, with cheating being “up there.” And if you’re cheating or a cheater on your spouse, obviously that role is not meaning all that much to you either. It doesn’t matter to me how another person views, I’m going with what I know and believe.

What’s up with these folks that are constantly humming the I must be catered to after marriage tune? Maybe that’s why some of the folks cut out…lol Once you bring kids and other stuff in it, whose got time to rock you like a baby? I’m just saying. I would think because I can’t concretely say, that with combined lives, there’s a shift and adjustment in one’s way of thinking. No, sex and intimacy shouldn’t run and jump out of the window but at the same time, there are other things going on aside from just you and your needs. Prioritize maybe but selfishly catering too…not so much. And again….just my opinion and how it reads to me.

Lady~anchored!

April 20th, 2012
9:43 am

C you funny but keeps it 100~!!!!!!!!!!! lol