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Are women today too aggressive?

I know guys that are generally surprised whenever a woman approaches them. There are men that can appreciate the type of woman who takes the bull by the horn. Then there are others that think a woman loses her femininity when she flips the script.

Women are more apt to approach and even pursue guys these days but are women too aggressive? Alpha men are respected and admired, but women have to show that they can find a balance

When a woman is more aggressive, does it mean she can’t let a man take the lead?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Blog

275 comments Add your comment

Jeff

April 17th, 2012
6:36 am

That type of personality has its downside no matter which endanger it is. An overly aggressive, arrogant, narcissistic jacka$$ is still a jacka$$ no matter what organs they have.

Lily

April 17th, 2012
6:42 am

Diva, balance is key. Naturally the men of todays generation will be okay as most seem to believe pursuit is a dirty word. In all seriousness, balance is key. Too much of anything just isn’t good. Alright I have to get out of here to make my shift.

Good day!

CoolShadow

April 17th, 2012
7:43 am

When a woman is more aggressive, does it mean she can’t let a man take the lead?

It may mean that she sees someone that she’s intrigued by enough to make a move, and that doesn’t mean she can’t relegate herself to being pursued. Conversely, that doesn’t mean the guy won’t necessarily take the lead afterwards and be the aggressor in the situation. The approach is just the initial encounter; it’s what happens after that is what really counts. And some women gain the courage to take the chance to approach rather than opt for possibly sitting at home alone or masking their fear to approach through some perceived shortcoming on the man’s part.

Leggs

April 17th, 2012
8:57 am

When a woman is more aggressive, does it mean she can’t let a man take the lead? – I don’t think it means that at all. Initially, a woman approaching a man first may just indicate she’s comfortable enough to approach and offer that flirt, compliment, dinner or a drink. Pretty sure she can fall back and let the man lead if a relationship should get off the ground.

Morning!

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
9:31 am

Well, sounds like you guys have pretty much summed it up. NEXT! ;-)

Good morning all!

czBrat

April 17th, 2012
9:38 am

HiYas!

i’m thinking if roles are reversed from jump, there’s a pretty good chance folks may never find their proper lane in the relationship. but maybe that’s just me.

Leggs

April 17th, 2012
9:49 am

You’re absolutely right, czB! We aren’t wired for the roles to be reversed.

Leggs

April 17th, 2012
9:50 am

Not only that, an alpha female is usually BUTCH. IJS

GracieL

April 17th, 2012
9:52 am

Ladies, if you have to pursue him, he’s just not that into you, so what’s the point? There’s a correlation between how much effort they put toward something and how much they appreciate having it.

DNG

April 17th, 2012
9:52 am

Of course some women can be too aggressive. I think for the most part women desire to be in a relationship, and when they are single in dating they tend to rush the process of finding a mate, which leaves them back to square one, single. Men like a chase and if you make yourself too available, it seems desperate. Check us out on-line at http://www.datenightgurus.com

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
9:55 am

Well, like it was already mentioned, just because a woman initiates the interest in the guy doesn’t mean she’ll automatically carry the rest of the courtship/relationship. However, if she continues to be the aggressor overall, then that man basically is riding along as you chauffer the r’ship. So you can’t really be surprised when he hops out at the next intersection. I guess there is just something about that new car smell that folks love.

Leggs

April 17th, 2012
9:57 am

LOL, well said Slim!

GracieL

April 17th, 2012
10:00 am

A lady can initiate interest without saying a word. If the man is receptive, he will respond to her cues and “initiate” the interest. If he doesn’t respond, he’s just not that into her, and she has not wasted her time or dignity.

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
10:08 am

Shut up and Drive

April 17th, 2012
10:09 am

when you got right one, ain’t no script flippin.

Lady~I will survive!

April 17th, 2012
10:10 am

Good Morning…………..hmmmm @ the topic………..

kimmie

April 17th, 2012
10:11 am

Morning All!

I see this as a damned if you do/don’t situation. It’s also subjective. Some dudes might consider it “too agressive” if a woman simply flirts with him or offers her number first. Others might consider that same woman not agressive enough. She’s gotta “prove” her interest in him before he’ll lift a finger. Some get bored if the woman isn’t ready to jump his bones coming out of the gate.

So I say do what makes you feel comfortable. Yeah, some will tell you if you don’t get out there and go for what you want, make the 1st move, men will pass you by. That’s not true for everyone. Plenty of women still meet men that are happy to pursue them.

And no, just because she stepped up and got the ball rolling doesn’t mean she wants to “wear the pants” in the relationship either. That’s just some lazy dude’s excuse for not stepping up and handling his business. “She won’t LET me lead” – get outta here!!LOL!!

czBrat

April 17th, 2012
10:13 am

lawd! reallly can’t recall the last time i heard the term “butch”. that took me right back to nyc.

and that’s what i was getting at, slim. starting up convo with a dude is all fine and good. but when i think “aggression” i think of a woman inviting the guy out and then back to her place. if i met up with a guy that went along with such a thing, i can assure he wouldn’t be my “type” overall, so what chance is there of anything long-term? the dude that follows the aggressor is always gonna be content to be lead, so when does she get to hand back over the wheel?

gracie, i luv the point you made. we have a way of giving a guy the green light without actually lifting up our skirt. i don’t consider that aggression, though.

maybe i’m just overthinking this.

Lady~I will survive!

April 17th, 2012
10:15 am

Kimmie good post! very subjective!

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:16 am

Gracie’s 9:52 was nicely said.

Here’s how I see it….a man’s nature has never changed, it’s in him to hunt and pursue. Now many have gotten spoiled and lazy but that’s nothing to do with what he was born with.

I think too if you set the tone so much so that you’re having to take the lead….being woman, he won’t take the pants back if you try to hand them to him… Of course still talking about dudes with the lazies.

That’s right, send the signals if you think possibly he’s not reading but it’s out of sync chasing dudes down….IMO

Morning all….

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
10:17 am

I really don’t want a lazy-datin- ass man…

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:17 am

Fear and desperation will cause many to have distorted views and act irrationally.

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:18 am

And for all the chicks that can’t wait, won’t allow the man to pursue it’s that much harder for the women that know to leave her scent.

Spoiled and lazy I tell you.

czBrat

April 17th, 2012
10:26 am

“spoiled and lazy” <———— *spit take* :lol: :lol:

and shame on me for using “always” in my 10:13. i try not to do absolute blanket statements about folks. my apologies.

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
10:27 am

Yeah I would see an agressive woman as someone who is all up front about the initiation, then taking it on home, then inviting the guy places, always paying, always has the plan of what they’ll do, buying his clothes trying to prep him to her liking but then get all p!ssed off when he’s ready to dip on her azz…especially when he gets tired of becoming overbearing and throwing fits when he does not want to do what she says. The movie Thin Line Between Love and hate comes to mind :lol:

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:30 am

Off topic: I was reviewing some documents this morning and needed someone from Research to define and help me understand behind the scene and I went to the chick’s floor that I mentioned yesterday…that’s the team that handle such things.

Well first of all everybody was scared to open the door and let me in…seriously!!! When I got in they were all saying they would get “in trouble” What the…..

Then the chick they all deferred me to as the SME was scared and almost offended. I asked her if it was strange me reaching out to her and she said “yes”….what???!!! I said well it’s a compliment if you’re considered the one person on a team that can provide answers. She was shaking her head the entire time. Then the explanation was vague. And y’all know me, I keep asking until it clicks or make sense Get the hell out of here…seriously

So I called this chick in a building in another part of the city that was a manager there and is now managing another group. She was more than happy to explain and told me what no one else could…as I’d asked others before the retard that was acting all scared. You know I told her…like I said she use to manage that team. She was like oh no, can’t have that.

Leggs

April 17th, 2012
10:34 am

“I really don’t want a lazy-datin- ass man…”

Slim, I had to turn one down this past Saturday. Yes, although I’m don’t have any dates, I can still turn one down (LOLOLOL).

Lady~I will survive!

April 17th, 2012
10:37 am

C cooperate america sis~

Leggs

April 17th, 2012
10:38 am

@czB ~ back in the day in NYC, those butches were downright scary!!

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
10:39 am

Leggs – I’m not mad at cha…there is power & empowerment in the word NO lol

CoolShadow

April 17th, 2012
10:41 am

If he doesn’t respond, he’s just not that into her, and she has not wasted her time or dignity

Sometimes womens’ cues are so subtle that they’re missed and men never pick up on it. For example, I’ve been introduced to women in social settings who never engaged in the conversation, answered questions only asked of them and exhibited a behavior that could be interpreted as standoffish. Well come to find out I get reports later that she ‘liked’ me all the while her body language told me something different.

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
10:41 am

Leggs – did you just know off hand that he fell into the lazy dater category??

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:41 am

Lady – So true.

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
10:48 am

Cool – Sounds like a woman who knows, since she is interested, is being careful not to give off that too eager/too interested/too desperate energy. Just a guess.

czBrat

April 17th, 2012
10:48 am

cool, you are what we refer to as “dense”.

i’m kidding! :grin:

honestly, i’m so subtle with expressing an interest that most of the time dudes actually think they made the first move. and i don’t give a second thought to the ones that miss my cues.
i’m only looking for the sharpest knife in the drawer, so it works out well in the end.

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
10:48 am

Overly aggressive men are a Turn Off just as well.

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:49 am

We need either another corp of topics, corp of bloggers or a new angle. Maybe no longer misadventures in dating but “Life after kids and coupledom” LOL

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:52 am

i don’t give a second thought to the ones that miss my cues.

Now THIS is what I thought after reading Cool Shadow’s post. I mean if I give you a hint, a smile, a nudge and you don’t get it, I’m moving on. I shouldn’t have to hit you across the head and slap a “look at me” banner on my chest…lol

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:53 am

This is by means anything to Cool Shadow because I don’t know him but in my experience most men so oblivious to hints and what not are usually those that have experienced women bringing to them.

Not saying this is even true for all but in my experience this has been the case. I don’t take too well to spoiled men. I’ll take a pass. The next chick and get it for you.

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
10:55 am

NOT anything to Cool Shadow…is what I was saying

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
11:00 am

crop crop crop

Albert

April 17th, 2012
11:06 am

I’d rather a woman be a little aggressive in the pursuit. I hate mistaking a woman’s signals or having to guess whether or not she’s really interested. Nine times out of ten one will guess wrong.

Lady~I will survive!

April 17th, 2012
11:06 am

C you geting krunk @ your 10:49!!!!!!!!!! lol

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
11:08 am

Lady – Nah just saying it ain’t really misadventures for us any more. So either we need fresh faces or the blog to change it’s angle…lol We’re still good hanging out here :)

Leggs

April 17th, 2012
11:09 am

@Slim ~ I know him. We agreed Friday eve to meet Sat afternoon. I called at 1:22. He was doing dishes and said he’ll call me back in a few. That few occurred 7 hours later with him saying he doesn’t have any place in mind we can go but it’s still early and he could be at my place in 30 mins. I told him I’m not interested in dating inside my living room and BYE. Not sure if he said anything else cuz I clicked off.

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
11:10 am

Cel – I agree that we could use some refreshingly new topics. What do you suggest, outside of the one of “Life after kids” because I don’t own any rugrats just yet? ;-)

Lady~I will survive!

April 17th, 2012
11:11 am

I do like this hangout joint C~ LOL!

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
11:13 am

Slim – I dunno….I think it would be a great idea if different folks toss ideas in a hat. Only because it’s pretty much the same audience but life for many have shifted somewhat. We’re all married, now divorced (with all the tshirts), booed up ( :) ), not having so much angst…you get what I’m saying.

SlimUno

April 17th, 2012
11:13 am

Daaaaaaaamn Leggs, you kick ass and take names quite often. lol I need to join your bootcamp class for “I’m not yo sucka 101″ :D I told yall this dude tried that with my cousin. He said he was feeling like getting away but when she asked what he had in mind, he said, “To my place” :roll:
No ole boy is dead wrong for that one, by not getting back with you in ample amount of time. It does not take 7hrs to wash dishes unless you work in a restaurant as a dishwasher and you simply worked your shift. Stuff like that makes my blood boil.

Celisea

April 17th, 2012
11:14 am

Lady – Me too :)