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Dating: Does sex get in the way?

If you enter a relationship with a desire to make it actually last, you may need to consider when, how, and why you decide to handle sex and intimacy. Some people believe sex has little to no real impact on a new relationship. Others have experienced the complete opposite, in which sex changed everything.

Do you believe that sex/no sex is an important part of a dating relationship? In your past experiences, did you figure out what role, if any, sex played on the future of your relationship?

I have heard men say that once the relationship got physical, things changed – the women changed, or the dynamics of the relationship did.

Do men change their behavior after they become sexually involved?

Do you think there is a way to avoid sex getting in the way?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

161 comments Add your comment

n

April 12th, 2012
6:53 am

A platonic relationship is the only way to go. You appreciate the other qualities like honesty, forthrightness, integrity. That way one knows they are being liked for more esoteric qualities than simply having a volumpuous unbelievable, over the top physical characteristics.

Lily

April 12th, 2012
7:02 am

Diva sex ALWAYS changes the dynamics. I believe anything is do-able and can work as long as people operate under right intentions. One should really know their partner and be prepared for the change should a couple decide to become intimate. Sometimes good and sometimes not. Either way talk about it and be willing to work it out!

Good day!

Senior Lady

April 12th, 2012
7:35 am

At my age sex is not all that important even though men my age think it is. Most men my age just don’t have it anymore and women my age are ok with that because we are really looking for a diffent kind of intimacy. The problem comes when men think they gotta have this wild sex like they did a long time ago and depend on the woman to help them achieve that. Just too much trouble and too much energy wasted on the wrong thing if you ask me.

Lily

April 12th, 2012
7:58 am

funny senior lady

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
8:08 am

Good Morning!!! Interesting topic…………..

Ralph

April 12th, 2012
8:37 am

I’ve been married so long that I’ve kind of gotten used to getting it once a month anyway.

Row 125, seat 11B

April 12th, 2012
8:45 am

Wow….. Of cource it matters……Sex is a cornerstone of any long term relationship so to play it like is does not matter is dishonest at best….. I think the key is for women to go in with your eyes more open than your legs and for guys to make sure we take our time so that we really understand the details of WHO more than the particulars of HOW…..

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
8:46 am

does less is always more apply for this topic….is it valid in dating if you will?!? #shrugs or is it the opposite after the vows the sex life somewhat diminish?!? The dynamics and expectations certainly change for both parties while dating…………….hmmmmmm

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
9:14 am

Good morning folks!

It’s not always just the men that want it, sometimes we women feel we don’t get it enough. But you never know before the do is done, on how it’ll effect the dynamic of the relationsip. It seems there is usually some sort of weird period after the first encounter where each is probably trying to see if it’ll feel weird or awkward the next time you see each other.

Shaunie

April 12th, 2012
9:22 am

While sex is not the end all be all, it does matter.. I beleive in chemistry and its just one indicator. Being mature about it is what will cause it not to get in the way of what a person is truly feeling. The flip side is that if there is no chemistry that may very well be an indicator too.

Shaunie

April 12th, 2012
9:24 am

Hummm…feeling a lil Jill Scottish this morning! :)

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
9:29 am

Slim her song why does my body ignore what my mind says is a good one for this sis~

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
9:35 am

meant Shaunie excuse me! I am all over the place this morning~

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
9:52 am

scenario should a party in a dating relationship hold out on sex after an argument. is one expected or feel obligated to have sex after an argument when married. if holding permissible in dating for any jest cause?!? (a bit rhetorical I know but I am interested in responses) ;)

Shaunie

April 12th, 2012
10:14 am

@ Lady- Thank You -Excellent Choice :)

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:16 am

Bennett

April 12th, 2012
10:17 am

Lady in your 9:52 are you suggesting holding the puddy hostage until a ransome is paid? Stangely enough, I kinda like that.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:20 am

LOL Bennett I just hollered!!!!!!!!!!! too funny!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:21 am

you read all between those lines honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smh the computer screen is fierce~

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:28 am

Its a Scandal Thursday!!!!!!!!!! I am ready for more Olivia Pope!!!!! Get it Kerry Washington!!!!! ;)

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
10:29 am

Morning All!

I’m with Shaunie on this. Chemistry and maturity, both important. We grown.

Lady – I don’t believe in using sex as a weapon or look at it as an “obligation”, therefore I don’t like to use the term “withholding”. Arguements can turn into great passion, but it can depend on what the arguement is about. If it’s something that truly hurts one to the core, if you’ve done something to disrespect me or the relationship or the kids, the last thing we’ll probably be thinking about is sex. So it won’t be a matter of someone “withholding”, just that whatever is going on has killed the mood.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:31 am

Arguements can turn into great passion<<<<<<<<<<<<< Love that sis! Good Post Kimmie~

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
10:31 am

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:32 am

Chemistry is sooooooooo vital~ If I just not feeling you then what?!? #chuckle smh

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
10:32 am

Just trying to see if I’m locked out since my post isn’t going through.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:32 am

what’s up ms leggs?

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:36 am

my thought process is between (my devilish side what Bennett suggested) and Kimmie reminded me about passion~ relationship are funny and interesting~ pure passion is winning though but I did want to be compensated for my time smh lol #sigh just thinking out loud folks pay me no mind~

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:36 am

time of arguing that is lol

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
10:38 am

Something in my post is preventing me from posting.

I went paragraph by paragraph to see what’s wrong and the first paragraph didn’t go through. Let’s try the gist of my post and see if it gets through.

In your past experiences, did you figure out what role, if any, sex played on the future of your relationship? – Just experienced this. After knowing him 5.5 weeks and going out 4x, I received a text saying “I would like to come over and cuddle and make love to you, but since it seems I have to ask for sex I am no longer interested in it w u. Would like to get to know you, but now it will be done on my terms and I’ll see u when I see u.” Those are his exact words. Apparently, I was moving too slow for his liking. Ironically, I felt I would get to that point with him, but simply wanted to know him a little better. Ummmm, guess that wasn’t the approach I should have taken with him, but it was the approach that sat well with ME! SMDH at these men rushing to get in the bed. No one wants to take time to know the person first??? If you’re looking for sex then fine, jump into it. However, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship why start in the bedroom? And yes, I think after 3.5 weeks of dating w/2 weeks of not even seeing each other, you’re starting in the bedroom.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
10:44 am

Leggs – Just wow. That was awful and cheesy. He was a chump. Good riddance. You ain’t wrong for taking your time.

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
10:46 am

That is SUPER DUPER WIGGETY WACK LEGGS! Say it ain’t soooo :shock:

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:48 am

Slim that happens more often that you would think with super grown men and women…………..its nothing new……wolves in sheep clothing are everywhere

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
10:49 am

Lady – Some of these dudes need to be defanged…lol

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:49 am

but it it truly some great catches out there as well. What’s for Ms Leggs will be effortlessly~ ;) patience is a virtue~

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:49 am

meant it is~ wow my mind is somewhere is and my body is here sheesh~ I can’t focus smh #readytogo lol

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
10:50 am

And so often so many of them miss good opportunities all because they can’t wait. WOMEN LIKE SEX. Just act right and do right and it’s your for the taking…. Too bad they don’t get it.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:51 am

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:51 am

WOMEN LIKE SEX<<<<<<<<<<Amen your whole post C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Post of the morning! lol

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
10:53 am

Lady – :)

And for that sort of text, I would have asked him to kiss my ass on the way out and lose my number.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
10:53 am

C you proved my silent thoughts too damn bad!!!! I am screaming laughing on the insides! WOW!

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
10:59 am

It’s like damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You give them the goodies after 3weeks of dating, of which 2 weeks you don’t see each other, then you’s a loose h0. You wait to give it to them and they think you’re feel you’re too good to give it up or you treat the phatty catty like it’s gold, you’re a prude, stuck up etc. That’s why I wish for at least a short while I could see what it’s like to have a wang because they act like they’ll die if their wang doesn’t touch some chicks sugar walls after a certain period of time.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
11:03 am

On topic: You can always look for a shift when you’ve become physical with one another. The problem though is as much looking and paying attention and watching you do, you still won’t know, really know until the deed is done. Yes, you can weed out the nodogooders ahead of step but if you’re in with someone that’s saying all the right things and doing all the right things, seemingly and you take that leap…time will tell.

If he was one of those patient cameleons, then ummm you might have a problem. If he was in it truly for you and building a relationship, things usually naturally progress.

Problem I have is that I hate feeling vunerable. I know though intimacy sometimes places us (well me) there. As long though as it’s someone in it to win it, being vunerable can be a good trait in allowing yourself to be open. Being open is good. One really never truly can tell or call how things will go or step into opportunities until and unless you can cross over and become exposed to one another.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:04 am

priorities, options, & choices~ hmmmmmm

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
11:06 am

Leggs – What was your response to his text?

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:06 am

Your dinner is on me C next time we meet! Excellent! ;)

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
11:08 am

Lady – For real? Awwww, I’m taking you up on it :) Seriously.

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
11:08 am

Ladies – I agree with all of your posts on Leggs’ experience. What trips me out is how some dudes are not even smooth with it. I spoke on this the other day when we were talking about coupons. Some of these men have absolutely no finese AT ALL!! I mean, it used to be even if a dude’s only goal was to try to get the panties, he would at least wine and dine you & talk sweet! You knew what he was up to, but he was so darn charming you just couldn’t help yourself after a point! It is true you’ll catch more flies with honey! That’s get them what they want quicker than lazy crudeness, like ole dude with that text. He really ought to be ashamed of himself!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:10 am

you did that one honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My pennies can cover you honey!!!!! that was spot on! ha!

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
11:11 am

That’s what I’m talking about. Where’s at least the fake fake? These dudes want you to give ‘em the get down like one hour into “day one”…and if you’re getting couponed, you owe him 1.5 puddy sessions…lol

SMH!!

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
11:13 am

Lady – Cool…we need to hurry and place that on the calendar. I LOVE to eat…lol

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
11:14 am

Hey ladies…

dayum Leggs, he was gonna get some too, po fella…
Lady: That’s why the best wolves wear their natural skin, no suprises.

Slim: So want to know what it feels like to have a wang…..It feels like carrying around a 3rd arm that might raise his hand to answer a question before a teacher finishes talking, if the teacher does not call on him, he will just keep throwing that hand up till he gets acknowledged…big time attention seeking behavior

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:16 am

ok cool will keep you posted!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:18 am

Jake if I was close to you I would throw a book @ you hahahahaha!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:19 am

Jake you stooopid I am dying laughing smh!!!!!!!!! lololol

Exiled!

April 12th, 2012
11:22 am

Does s e x get in the way?

I Always thought her panties get in the way…time to yank it down with the forefinger! :lol:

On topic:

I think s e x is like your door mat,right before you get or decide to get in the house. If the door mat is dusty,unattractive,looks derty etc,u frown and are proly less inclined to go in.

If the door mat looks well laid,it looks clean around the door,you are inclined to accept when she says ‘come in’

So hitting the spot early on is vital because you don’t want spend time with a ‘nice’ chic whose below the belt assets are less than Stella. You want to do a quick screening process. And you want to have your cake and eat it too,for others,literally and gleefully,ear to ear!

So No..s e x is part of the Big total package.

You don’t wanna spend time either with a chic just holding out on sex when everything else about her seems lacking. S e x is the final determinator.

If she ain’t that good but u thinking,hmmmm,maybe s e x might salvage it,so let’s just hit it then and see how it is. A lot of females behave differently once the jackpot is hit. It’s like some wind got into them,Now they Exposed! :lol: Ofcourse dudes behave as if they grew another third ball,especially if they hit a major target they really digging. ! :lol:

So to recap,let’s hit this thang,clear the deck and focus on solidifying the relationship.
The sweeter the s e x,the more likely we will see each other again.

The earlier the better to avoid investing time in a lemon of puddy.
:lol: :lol:

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
11:26 am

@Celisea ~ like Lady always says, silence is Golden. I didn’t respond.

And, “Just act right and do right and it’s your for the taking…. Too bad they don’t get it. – YEP, YEP, and more YEP!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:28 am

Leggs it gets them every time~ ;)

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
11:30 am

Leggs- Yes it is….my mama taught me that. Ignoring folks carries a greater impact than acknowledging. He was just so much of an ass that he didn’t even deserve silence. How you gonna tell someone from now on I’m doing it my way? At that point your way is no way…null, void, nil

I hear ya

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
11:38 am

Jake – Hahahahahahaha, now that is a good one that I have yet to hear. :lol: I’ll never look at school the same :shock: I picture the 3rd arm waving wildly around like, “Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!!”

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:40 am

SLIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smh LOLOLOL!

Just Saying

April 12th, 2012
11:41 am

Amen Exiled! … Preach and I hope the congregation are taking notes. lol

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
11:44 am

OMG….someone is telling a joke on our conference call!! WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE WORKING. The joke was funny though

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
11:45 am

@kimmie ~ you’re absolutely correct. I’m still somewhat speechless, because all I can say is DAMN DAMN, DAAAYYYYUUUMMMM. No doubt I have no idea where the relationship would have gone, but I sure feel good knowing I hadn’t already had sex with him that time I truly thought about it (lol). Because if he can’t wait after what I PERCEIVE to be a short time, he wasn’t worth it. A leopard can’t hide it’s spots, but this Cougar sniffed something wasn’t right early on.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
11:53 am

To be honest, I so wanted to respond but knew it wouldn’t be pretty and really didn’t feel like sullying my own name and character with him. WTH has the audacity to say “on my terms” like I have no say. Well, he barked up and sniffed around the wrong tree….

Anybody here knows a beautician that specializes in dreadlock cobwebs. Whew, that made me laugh. Seriously, just being funny, no need to respond.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
11:56 am

Ladies..I’m serious though….When we meet you, and we see your figure, we visualize you naked…that vison does include the additional plumpness that is you outside of those constraining garments…so then the task becomes get to the honey…in the journey to the honey we find out who you are, what you like, etc…but its still mostly about the honey, if you are great person, thats the bonus, and we may embark on a relationship……men are results based, so if you go back to the end of Ex’s post its true,

“The sweeter the s e x,the more likely we will see each other again.

The earlier the better to avoid investing time in a lemon of puddy.

Even the patient, less aggressive fella will disappear on a bad piece, wait, not sure if there is a such thing, puddy is like cake, some are more moist than others, some get dry fast, but they all are sweet.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:58 am

are we taking up tithes and offerings today?!? pass the plate! LOL

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
11:59 am

Jake good stuff!!!! gotta respect the male’s perspective!

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
11:59 am

When I saw today’s topic I was compelled to share my recent mishap (lol).

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
12:08 pm

Jake – I’m nominating you as the King of Anologies…

Cake = puddy
Moist Cake = moist puddy
Dry cake = dry puddy
all = sweet puddy

:lol:

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
12:09 pm

O/T I did a 60 slide PP for a 20 min presentation plus a 8min video think time is on my side for covering material?!? how many minutes on each slide?!?

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
12:13 pm

Jake – I can see if they (Leggs & dude) had been seeing each other on the regular the 4 weeks they knew each other. I understand the anticipation, the curiosity with someone you are seeing 1 or 2 or more times a week. Like she said, she was close to making it happen. But then you don’t see me for 2 weeks & then when you finally resurface, via text, you come up with some mess like he did? Come on!!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
12:14 pm

Kimmie that is straight game playing! lol

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
12:15 pm

Lady – Okay!!! And not even good game playing at that! Certainly not playing to WIN!!!

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
12:19 pm

@Jake ~ I would guess that most women are aware of this. We know you guys see us nekkid right out the gate. Nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong is when the “hunger” is shown in the eyes and convo is based around it. Finesse goes a long way. That’s how some can get to that sweet nectar quicker than others.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
12:21 pm

Exactly, kimmie. Hell he’s was curious about me, I was curious about him and his package and his ability. Great kisser, but come on I remained a lady and didnt jump his bones. Aww hell, that’s what I was supposed to do. I never got that memo….

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
12:22 pm

Leggs refer back to Jake’s 11:14 some are just so smooth its natural that is why you have to be open to debunk that foolishness as well. Trust you fall prey to some but it can’t be an ongoing thing it gets old is my point.

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
12:24 pm

Leggs – Amen, that’s been going on since the beginning of time, so no need for the congregation to take notes!

Then the lame, so-called “nice” guys come on the blog, wondering why the so-called “bad boys” are able to get the goods quicker! No Finesse!!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
12:26 pm

meant to say refer to C’s vulnerable post too from this morning too~ its some good references today!

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
12:34 pm

What are yall eating for lunch I am bout to run quickly in a few to get something hmmmmmm

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
12:35 pm

LOL Kimmie I just saw what you typed no note taking lol no offerings either huh lol

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
12:39 pm

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
1:08 pm

it certainly warmed up! this weather will have you sick! alrighty party people what is poppin’?!?

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
1:44 pm

another slow day….guess I’ll do my job over here

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
1:45 pm

We had Chinese delivered today since a close co-worker is enjoying her last day here.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
1:49 pm

We’re having a shingdig too for someone working their last day today. Mmmmm…love sweets :)

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
1:57 pm

Cel – We will be pulling out the brownies and ice cream once this Chinese food disappears. ;-)

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
1:59 pm

Slim – I’m headed right now to the “sweets” portion of this shingdig. It’s scheduled for 2:00….it’s probably gonna be “Piece of Cake” and the big chocolate chip cookie. Ice cream with that sound delish right about now. Okay…heading over for sweets

Row 125, seat 11B

April 12th, 2012
2:20 pm

OK, O/T..Just had a conversation with the really hot older chick from accounting…..wants to know if I will meet her for drinks 2morrow after work. Said she needs to let her hair down and cut loose for a bit……..My Spidey senses tell me she is looking ot be rode hard and put away wet…..Different department…Two floors down…..Yeah She is about to get “Debow’ed”…….

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
2:25 pm

wow Row that seem out of character for you!!! seem more of the charmer 2 weeks ago but you could be just cutting up so don’t mind me lol

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
2:31 pm

Well, do what you do but don’t come with the crazy, derranged female story when the ish hits the fan. Be careful, vewwy vewwy careful!

Row 125, seat 11B

April 12th, 2012
2:32 pm

Lady…. Generally speaking I am…I am proud to call myself one of the nice guys. I was raised by a single mom and Grandmom, so I have always been taught to honor and respect women to the highest degree…But I am looking at her kinda like the NDA during the lockout….. An exibition game to sharpen my skills and to show off for the fans… LOL

Row 125, seat 11B

April 12th, 2012
2:33 pm

NBA not NDA…. ( Damn…Think that might be a sign for me to bow out before hand???)

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
2:36 pm

I hear ya!!!!! those situations do occur!!!!!

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
2:48 pm

Row…just take her to a game for fun, just because….lol

On the real, be sure that she wants it to be silent, walking past each other at work like strangers and the whole nine, wouldn’t want to comprimise your the dughnut shop…but have fun with her, she sounds more than ready to reciprocate…be careful with Ms. Seasoned Lady, she might have that snap down there, have you leaving cards on her car.

i'm swiss

April 12th, 2012
2:53 pm

Afternoon, peeps. “Big ol’ jet air liner, carry me to my home…”

On topic: I do loves me some pdu$$y.

Off topic: The TSA can French kid my unshorn taint. That is all.

Oh, hey ITL… ;-)

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
2:54 pm

Afternoon All,

Leggs- just wow, these dudes gon learn puddy is given not gotten. Should have paid attention to the lecture during ‘Shut the Fugg Up 101′.

Topic – You really have to define what it is you are looking for. Once that is defined you have to make sure your partners goal are the same. That is the hard part especially for ladies. Men don’t understand why they can’t have the cake AND eat it too. Makes so sense to us otherwise. Going back to yesterday and how some Women feel more empowered, Wolves don’t have to wear sheeps clothing. They can choose now. Tacky or not dudes don’t have to wait 5 weeks if they have choices. I don’t agree with that but that is where we are right now. For most dudes out her dayum whether it changes the dynamics or not. Without Sex there is no relationship.

Lady~

April 12th, 2012
2:56 pm

i'm swiss

April 12th, 2012
2:58 pm

French kiss, that is. Damn auto-complete

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
3:07 pm

WD- So you are saying, these empowered women out here decided to get theirs, are making hard on more traditional good girls (wink) like our friend Leggs? If so, sounds like the good ole tried true supply and demand theory…supply is way up, so the lady demanding a wait period is out of luck because I can get it somewhere else! Matter of fact its so easy to get a piece, I will send you text like this:

“I would like to come over and cuddle and make love to you, but since it seems I have to ask for sex I am no longer interested in it w u. Would like to get to know you, but now it will be done on my terms and I’ll see u when I see u.”

EMPOWERMENT

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

“…wouldn’t want to comprimise your the dughnut shop” – never heard it quite like that.

@WillieD ~ too funny. He may have been frustrated with sexual angst (as Ex would say), but come on. You’re a 47 year old man. Don’t you think it’s time to use some restraint and readdress a reasonable timeline to get buck wild crazy? Another thing that pissed me off is him saying he wants to come over and make love….don’t you have to be in a relationship to make love because short of that, all you doing is Sexing!!!

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

Yeeeeah, I hear y’all but if he’s got it like THAT and supply is up, why even bother. What? Hurt her feelings? I don’t refute the basis of what y’ll are saying but I’m not one hundred on board that men have it locked down LIKE THAT. Yeah it’s one thing to get it anywhere, it’s another thing getting it from the one you want it from.

IJS

Velonese

April 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

Oh I get it, I just don’t want it.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 12th, 2012
3:11 pm

Afternoon all,

I can see the topic is a lil lively today. Let me finish catching up…….

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

Well, Jake, you summed that up nicely (lol).

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

And here I thought I was actually starting to date…silly me!

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Yeah it’s one thing to get it anywhere, it’s another thing getting it from the one you want it from.

This statement from Celisea sums it up, for me anyway. Quanity is up for everyone, men AND women. It’s the quality that’s lacking. We all can go out here and get laid all day if we wanted to. But even with a full body condom, can’t promise it will be dis-ease free. Plus the effects to one’s psychy, after a point, will not be good.

Leggs and other ladies, don’t let that trash discourage you. Like Lady said earlier, the one who is “about it” will be effortless. You won’t even have to wonder.

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Jake – kinda sorta but that Dude hasn’t fully looked in the mirror. He may have choices but apparently he took the time to go on a few dates. He had a keeper on the line but he didn’t have a net. Gotta know how to land them.

Cel – Dudes DON’T have it like that. Fools gold. Tried and true doesn’t get old. Just cause you got a coupon (hahaha) and come home with a few bags don’t mean you ballin.

Row – be very careful my friend. Have a lil fun but don’t make yourself the flava of the month. Give her the chance to let her hair down but make her understand you are not the Friday wind-down and you need to see how she acts on a Tuesday in the hall way. IJS

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:37 pm

Kimmie – That’s it lady. I can bypass that bullcrappery all day. Personally because he ain’t got nothing on me,I’d have no problem telling buddy to get off my text, kiss my ass while doing it and lose my number. I respect those that respect me.

WillieD – That’s exactly what I was saying…just cause you got a coupon and come with a few bags don’t mean you balling ……. PRECISELY!!

For dudes hitting up the office women all willy nilly, I can only recommend penicillin

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:40 pm

And with 1 out of 4 women having the cooties, jumping on everything with an itch speaks volumes about the jumper (IMO), than the jumpee…lol Some things you just take a pass.

Like Kimmie said, quantity is out there, up and at your fingertips, quality though is a horse of another color.

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
3:41 pm

Even if all dude wants is to get laid err now & then, he didn’t have to be all stank about it!

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:45 pm

Exactly….lol I got to itching just reading the post about the office hookup

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
3:50 pm

Kimmie/Cel – exactly, but just being the devils advocate. Even for a good dude some of these Female Sheep with the nice white, curly clothing are another creature plain and simple. We do run across the Nice Lady who seems to have it all together that just want to let her hair down so to speak.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:58 pm

@kimmie ~ it won’t discourage me. The best I can do is laugh, smdh, then laugh more at foolishness like that. It’s less hurtful when you know the problem like this definitely rests with him and not me. Just have to get with someone who’s timining issues are aligned with yours.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:59 pm

“Gotta know how to land them” :lol: :lol: :lol:

Yes indeed, WillieD!

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:01 pm

Willie – My mom used to tell me it is “a way” to do pretty much anything you want, with class. Everyone isn’t looking to fall in love or looking for someone to marry or even shack with. Nice men & women want to just chill and “let their hair down” every day. It’s a way to do that, without stepping in the gutter. IJS

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:02 pm

WillieD – So what is she then? Honestly, how would you classify a “lady” wanting to let her hair down…and that’s all, yet being the nice lady? I’m asking because it seems we always come back to damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Say you get some time in and things pop off…and she’s good with that. How would you classify? Would you want something more…more permanent? Would you think her loose? Would you see her as just a hook up?

Honestly now?

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:03 pm

They way he even put it was just super wack. He could’ve said that in a better way but that alone just makes it easier to be like, On to the next one. Brush the dirt off ya shoulders. It’s almost like the Godmother trying to butter & fatten up Hansel& Grettel for her to have a more luscious dinner out of them later. He did the few dates thing to make you believe he was interested in something with potential but his appetite got the best of him and he could no longer hide his salivating thirst for puddy. Now that I think of it, puts me in the mind of that Pops cereal commercial…”Gotta have my Pops!”

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:05 pm

Thanks for asking, Celisea, cause I’m wondering too.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:06 pm

“Exactly….lol I got to itching just reading the post about the office hookup”

That made me laugh, Celisea!

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:07 pm

Yeah it’s one thing to get it anywhere, it’s another thing getting it from the one you want it from.

This statement to me is interesting, when single and on the hunt, the rabbit doesn’t have to be the a prize winning rabbit, it can be a run of the mill, regular ole bunny….these cats, especially the tried love, back single dudes, they chasing tail, not love.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:13 pm

Kimmie – Inquiring minds want to know

Leggs – :)

Jake – Well you brought us back to the point we were making and if it’s just about ass for him and love for her….which Leggs and us women suspected, then we’re spot on and good with closing the door on that one.

You just proved what we’ve said all along. We’re in the prize winning category and don’t want to be or hang or get associated with being any ole bunny. So if a dude acts out because you don’t put out say a couple of weeks or so, why would you and MMeello make that recommendation?? Remember you piggybacked his post.

Now, I’d venture to say we’re pretty smart women on here and this is what we’ve said all along. We ain’t putting out like that. I know I never have….I would guess others either. Y’all say go ahead sometimes it will get you the prize, all the while knowing dudes are mostly on the regular ole bunny hunt, not the prize winning rabbit hunt.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:13 pm

He could’ve said that in a better way but that alone just makes it easier to be like, On to the next one –

I like these 5 words better, SlimUno “Another One Bites The Dust….” :wink: :cool:

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:18 pm

Cel…The classification is dependent on who she is, the way she carries herself, as an adult woman, she can “let it down” whenever she wants, but is it classy or classless…does she go full slut when we get there, or does she finesse it, does she relinguish herself completely, or does she still require a certain level of consideration, does she seem overly comfortable with this, or does she need me to help her find comfort in this casual fling…was it sexy, or freaky…it not one thing, its the whole scenario.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:19 pm

“…all the while knowing dudes are mostly on the regular ole bunny hunt, not the prize winning rabbit hunt.”

It’s funny, because PR would get on my case, about how I keep the attitude that men are on the hunt for one thing. I don’t necessary keep the attitude, I just speak on what I know and what I see…

BAM – did you read my 10:38?

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:20 pm

Jake, sorry but :roll:

Whatever!!

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:23 pm

Jake – I gotcha. That’s pretty much what I figured. Maybe not defined in your words but pretty much. So a woman can let her hair down, get physical and still remain “a lady” in your eyesight? Okay then….cool I’m not saying I can do that because the cynic in me would believe he’d walk away thinking otherwise but I hear you.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:25 pm

Kimmie – LOL…that’s why I said “I hear you” but for me, no can do. I don’t believe if we randomly get busy you would still see me as a lady. Especially with nothing else on the menu but sex.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:27 pm

Y’all notice folks are rabble rousers?? Throw something out there and everybody bites and they sit back and say nothing? That’s a way to get things going huh?

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:27 pm

Cel – it depends. Me personally I don’t judge her one way or another. I like Jake’s explanation it just depends ion how she pulls it off and what she’s looking for. Maybe she just wants the Yams smashed. At that point she’s just empowered.

Off topic

April 12th, 2012
4:28 pm

Some girl I have been dating invited me over the other night and cooked a nice 3 course meal and we had a great time together. during our converstaion she mentioned she liked flowers. I was thinking of sending her some flowers , does anyone here know where i can get some really nice ones at a great price? looking for white roses in particular

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:29 pm

WillieD – Gotcha. I’m a person that asks questions like that.

EMPOWERED…lol Divs shouldn’t have EVER brought that topic here…lol

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:31 pm

Gotta go….

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:36 pm

Cel – I like that empowered word. It can take on so many meanings and fit so many different personalities. Just another way for some Ladies to explain some isht. Double standard I tell ya. Hahaha

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:39 pm

Off Topic – Costco

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:41 pm

Wellie – I had to LOL literally. I can hear a bit of “smirk” in your 4:26…but yeah double standards.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:45 pm

Kimmie, don’t do me like that, I was serious….lol

Cel, I am not promoting just givng it up, each woman has to decide whats comfortable for her. The irony of sex/dating now, is that we all want that loving lasting relationship, men and woman. Women want it precisely, men want it indirectly, but are more than willing to take its ugly cousin which is great sex and no attachment. Women want a relationship to grow into budding romance; men want to find a woman that can satisfy him sexually first, and then I’ll get to loving her if the other areas line up…..Mars/Venus

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:45 pm

They are talking about BOYzillian Waxes now on the radio. (brazilian waxes for men down there) I know some of you dudes use clippers to keep the weeds down, but would you consider waxing it though?

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit !! ;-)

April 12th, 2012
4:47 pm

Just another way for some Ladies to explain some isht. Double standard I tell ya.

Don’t hate :lol:

men want to find a woman that can satisfy him sexually first, and then I’ll get to loving her if the other areas line up…..Mars/Venus

:shock:

Really?!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit !! ;-)

April 12th, 2012
4:49 pm

They are talking about BOYzillian Waxes now on the radio.

Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s just…just….

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:50 pm

Off Topic….have you hit yet? If you have, save it for a couple of weeks, and remind her of the conversation from that night when you give them, the more distance you put in there will say, dayum he really was paying attention….if you haven’t, get them and, Happy Hunting….lol

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

Jake – I with you. I think the lay out was just the “ugly” truth.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

hey Sassy, don’t start none this late….lol

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

Cel – Smirk, who me? Nawww

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:53 pm

men want to find a woman that can satisfy him sexually first, and then I’ll get to loving her if the other areas line up

I gave the side-eye to that as well. As many times as dudes have said good puddy does not a relationship make, Ex comes up in here and says the total opposite – WIGGETY WA, WA WACK :roll:

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:53 pm

WillieD – Mmmm hmmm, I guess I’m hearing things then. Gotta get that checked

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:54 pm

Jake – Why does it matter if he ‘hit it yet’ to determine sending flowers or not?

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:55 pm

Well I for one believe that’s how most ninjas think. Good thing about that is I don’t have to play that way. I’m not allowing some dude to do a test run and THHHHHEEEEENNNN say, ummm never mind, not working for me. Not happening.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:55 pm

Well Cel…these views that I spit represent my experience and my observation, I do not speak for all men…I just call it how I see it.

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:58 pm

Jake – we could always invite Sassy in for the after hours Barbershop convo. Cel used to frequent but I think it got in the way of Bible study or something. J/k Cel please don’t blast me.n

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit !! ;-)

April 12th, 2012
4:58 pm

I’m not allowing some dude to do a test run and THHHHHEEEEENNNN say, ummm never mind, not working for me.

cosign….

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:59 pm

Jake – I’m not disagreeing. I believe that’s how men think…most anyway. I’m just saying I’ll gladly take a pass…if I gotta allow a test run first…lol No can do

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit !! ;-)

April 12th, 2012
5:00 pm

we could always invite Sassy in for the after hours Barbershop convo.

I wish…cause I’d light this by.tch up…but ufortunately I’ll be in traffic. Speaking of…gotta go. Just wanted to pop in right quick..read y’all tomorrow :lol:

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
5:01 pm

Slim…I did say get them in both scenarios, but wouldn’t you like for a guy to remind you of something you said weeks ago, and decided to act on out of kindness, as opposed to I said flowers on Monday, got them Friday…It wouldn’t mean a lil more to you?

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
5:02 pm

Willie – Cel used to frequent but I think it got in the way of Bible study or something.

LOLOLOLOL…boy you made me disturb my neighbor. Funnneee…y’all are a riot some days. I’z a good girl :)

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
5:03 pm

I wish…cause I’d light this by.tch up

LOOOOVE IT!!!

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
5:04 pm

Cel&Sassy, you won’t know the difference

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
5:05 pm

Willie/Jake – I miss the barbershop days. No one hangs around anymore. Sometimes just lurking while y’all cut up.

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
5:19 pm

Look at Sassy feeling all empowered (there’s that word again) talking isht. Its not that kinda party. We just relax a bit more and chop it up. Heyal I’m looking forward to it now.

Cel – you went from just a good girl to hella cool in my book during those convo’s.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
5:26 pm

WillieD – Awwwww, don’t go making me all misty eyed now. You know I can roll with the best of them right? If I let my hair down too much in the daytime folks might get confused…lol Ahhh yeah, laid back after hours :)

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
5:30 pm

Ok folks good eve, headed to the locker room to take off this Sheeps clothing. Hahaha

Lady A

April 13th, 2012
8:46 pm

Put the brakes on sex. Often people sleep together way too soon and their judgement is clouded. You no longer see the person for who they really are because you are caught up in the pleasure you partake with that person. Too late you realize that you are not friends but just lovers. Sex clouds your judgement. Take the time to really get to know that other person if you want a quality relationship built to last.