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Dating: Does sex get in the way?

If you enter a relationship with a desire to make it actually last, you may need to consider when, how, and why you decide to handle sex and intimacy. Some people believe sex has little to no real impact on a new relationship. Others have experienced the complete opposite, in which sex changed everything.

Do you believe that sex/no sex is an important part of a dating relationship? In your past experiences, did you figure out what role, if any, sex played on the future of your relationship?

I have heard men say that once the relationship got physical, things changed – the women changed, or the dynamics of the relationship did.

Do men change their behavior after they become sexually involved?

Do you think there is a way to avoid sex getting in the way?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

161 comments Add your comment

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

Yeeeeah, I hear y’all but if he’s got it like THAT and supply is up, why even bother. What? Hurt her feelings? I don’t refute the basis of what y’ll are saying but I’m not one hundred on board that men have it locked down LIKE THAT. Yeah it’s one thing to get it anywhere, it’s another thing getting it from the one you want it from.

IJS

Velonese

April 12th, 2012
3:10 pm

Oh I get it, I just don’t want it.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 12th, 2012
3:11 pm

Afternoon all,

I can see the topic is a lil lively today. Let me finish catching up…….

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

Well, Jake, you summed that up nicely (lol).

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:15 pm

And here I thought I was actually starting to date…silly me!

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Yeah it’s one thing to get it anywhere, it’s another thing getting it from the one you want it from.

This statement from Celisea sums it up, for me anyway. Quanity is up for everyone, men AND women. It’s the quality that’s lacking. We all can go out here and get laid all day if we wanted to. But even with a full body condom, can’t promise it will be dis-ease free. Plus the effects to one’s psychy, after a point, will not be good.

Leggs and other ladies, don’t let that trash discourage you. Like Lady said earlier, the one who is “about it” will be effortless. You won’t even have to wonder.

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
3:32 pm

Jake – kinda sorta but that Dude hasn’t fully looked in the mirror. He may have choices but apparently he took the time to go on a few dates. He had a keeper on the line but he didn’t have a net. Gotta know how to land them.

Cel – Dudes DON’T have it like that. Fools gold. Tried and true doesn’t get old. Just cause you got a coupon (hahaha) and come home with a few bags don’t mean you ballin.

Row – be very careful my friend. Have a lil fun but don’t make yourself the flava of the month. Give her the chance to let her hair down but make her understand you are not the Friday wind-down and you need to see how she acts on a Tuesday in the hall way. IJS

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:37 pm

Kimmie – That’s it lady. I can bypass that bullcrappery all day. Personally because he ain’t got nothing on me,I’d have no problem telling buddy to get off my text, kiss my ass while doing it and lose my number. I respect those that respect me.

WillieD – That’s exactly what I was saying…just cause you got a coupon and come with a few bags don’t mean you balling ……. PRECISELY!!

For dudes hitting up the office women all willy nilly, I can only recommend penicillin

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:40 pm

And with 1 out of 4 women having the cooties, jumping on everything with an itch speaks volumes about the jumper (IMO), than the jumpee…lol Some things you just take a pass.

Like Kimmie said, quantity is out there, up and at your fingertips, quality though is a horse of another color.

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
3:41 pm

Even if all dude wants is to get laid err now & then, he didn’t have to be all stank about it!

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
3:45 pm

Exactly….lol I got to itching just reading the post about the office hookup

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
3:50 pm

Kimmie/Cel – exactly, but just being the devils advocate. Even for a good dude some of these Female Sheep with the nice white, curly clothing are another creature plain and simple. We do run across the Nice Lady who seems to have it all together that just want to let her hair down so to speak.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:58 pm

@kimmie ~ it won’t discourage me. The best I can do is laugh, smdh, then laugh more at foolishness like that. It’s less hurtful when you know the problem like this definitely rests with him and not me. Just have to get with someone who’s timining issues are aligned with yours.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
3:59 pm

“Gotta know how to land them” :lol: :lol: :lol:

Yes indeed, WillieD!

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:01 pm

Willie – My mom used to tell me it is “a way” to do pretty much anything you want, with class. Everyone isn’t looking to fall in love or looking for someone to marry or even shack with. Nice men & women want to just chill and “let their hair down” every day. It’s a way to do that, without stepping in the gutter. IJS

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:02 pm

WillieD – So what is she then? Honestly, how would you classify a “lady” wanting to let her hair down…and that’s all, yet being the nice lady? I’m asking because it seems we always come back to damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Say you get some time in and things pop off…and she’s good with that. How would you classify? Would you want something more…more permanent? Would you think her loose? Would you see her as just a hook up?

Honestly now?

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:03 pm

They way he even put it was just super wack. He could’ve said that in a better way but that alone just makes it easier to be like, On to the next one. Brush the dirt off ya shoulders. It’s almost like the Godmother trying to butter & fatten up Hansel& Grettel for her to have a more luscious dinner out of them later. He did the few dates thing to make you believe he was interested in something with potential but his appetite got the best of him and he could no longer hide his salivating thirst for puddy. Now that I think of it, puts me in the mind of that Pops cereal commercial…”Gotta have my Pops!”

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:05 pm

Thanks for asking, Celisea, cause I’m wondering too.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:06 pm

“Exactly….lol I got to itching just reading the post about the office hookup”

That made me laugh, Celisea!

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:07 pm

Yeah it’s one thing to get it anywhere, it’s another thing getting it from the one you want it from.

This statement to me is interesting, when single and on the hunt, the rabbit doesn’t have to be the a prize winning rabbit, it can be a run of the mill, regular ole bunny….these cats, especially the tried love, back single dudes, they chasing tail, not love.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:13 pm

Kimmie – Inquiring minds want to know

Leggs – :)

Jake – Well you brought us back to the point we were making and if it’s just about ass for him and love for her….which Leggs and us women suspected, then we’re spot on and good with closing the door on that one.

You just proved what we’ve said all along. We’re in the prize winning category and don’t want to be or hang or get associated with being any ole bunny. So if a dude acts out because you don’t put out say a couple of weeks or so, why would you and MMeello make that recommendation?? Remember you piggybacked his post.

Now, I’d venture to say we’re pretty smart women on here and this is what we’ve said all along. We ain’t putting out like that. I know I never have….I would guess others either. Y’all say go ahead sometimes it will get you the prize, all the while knowing dudes are mostly on the regular ole bunny hunt, not the prize winning rabbit hunt.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:13 pm

He could’ve said that in a better way but that alone just makes it easier to be like, On to the next one –

I like these 5 words better, SlimUno “Another One Bites The Dust….” :wink: :cool:

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:18 pm

Cel…The classification is dependent on who she is, the way she carries herself, as an adult woman, she can “let it down” whenever she wants, but is it classy or classless…does she go full slut when we get there, or does she finesse it, does she relinguish herself completely, or does she still require a certain level of consideration, does she seem overly comfortable with this, or does she need me to help her find comfort in this casual fling…was it sexy, or freaky…it not one thing, its the whole scenario.

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:19 pm

“…all the while knowing dudes are mostly on the regular ole bunny hunt, not the prize winning rabbit hunt.”

It’s funny, because PR would get on my case, about how I keep the attitude that men are on the hunt for one thing. I don’t necessary keep the attitude, I just speak on what I know and what I see…

BAM – did you read my 10:38?

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:20 pm

Jake, sorry but :roll:

Whatever!!

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:23 pm

Jake – I gotcha. That’s pretty much what I figured. Maybe not defined in your words but pretty much. So a woman can let her hair down, get physical and still remain “a lady” in your eyesight? Okay then….cool I’m not saying I can do that because the cynic in me would believe he’d walk away thinking otherwise but I hear you.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:25 pm

Kimmie – LOL…that’s why I said “I hear you” but for me, no can do. I don’t believe if we randomly get busy you would still see me as a lady. Especially with nothing else on the menu but sex.

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:27 pm

Y’all notice folks are rabble rousers?? Throw something out there and everybody bites and they sit back and say nothing? That’s a way to get things going huh?

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:27 pm

Cel – it depends. Me personally I don’t judge her one way or another. I like Jake’s explanation it just depends ion how she pulls it off and what she’s looking for. Maybe she just wants the Yams smashed. At that point she’s just empowered.

Off topic

April 12th, 2012
4:28 pm

Some girl I have been dating invited me over the other night and cooked a nice 3 course meal and we had a great time together. during our converstaion she mentioned she liked flowers. I was thinking of sending her some flowers , does anyone here know where i can get some really nice ones at a great price? looking for white roses in particular

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:29 pm

WillieD – Gotcha. I’m a person that asks questions like that.

EMPOWERED…lol Divs shouldn’t have EVER brought that topic here…lol

Leggs

April 12th, 2012
4:31 pm

Gotta go….

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:36 pm

Cel – I like that empowered word. It can take on so many meanings and fit so many different personalities. Just another way for some Ladies to explain some isht. Double standard I tell ya. Hahaha

kimmie

April 12th, 2012
4:39 pm

Off Topic – Costco

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:41 pm

Wellie – I had to LOL literally. I can hear a bit of “smirk” in your 4:26…but yeah double standards.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:45 pm

Kimmie, don’t do me like that, I was serious….lol

Cel, I am not promoting just givng it up, each woman has to decide whats comfortable for her. The irony of sex/dating now, is that we all want that loving lasting relationship, men and woman. Women want it precisely, men want it indirectly, but are more than willing to take its ugly cousin which is great sex and no attachment. Women want a relationship to grow into budding romance; men want to find a woman that can satisfy him sexually first, and then I’ll get to loving her if the other areas line up…..Mars/Venus

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:45 pm

They are talking about BOYzillian Waxes now on the radio. (brazilian waxes for men down there) I know some of you dudes use clippers to keep the weeds down, but would you consider waxing it though?

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit !! ;-)

April 12th, 2012
4:47 pm

Just another way for some Ladies to explain some isht. Double standard I tell ya.

Don’t hate :lol:

men want to find a woman that can satisfy him sexually first, and then I’ll get to loving her if the other areas line up…..Mars/Venus

:shock:

Really?!

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit !! ;-)

April 12th, 2012
4:49 pm

They are talking about BOYzillian Waxes now on the radio.

Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s just…just….

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:50 pm

Off Topic….have you hit yet? If you have, save it for a couple of weeks, and remind her of the conversation from that night when you give them, the more distance you put in there will say, dayum he really was paying attention….if you haven’t, get them and, Happy Hunting….lol

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

Jake – I with you. I think the lay out was just the “ugly” truth.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

hey Sassy, don’t start none this late….lol

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:52 pm

Cel – Smirk, who me? Nawww

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:53 pm

men want to find a woman that can satisfy him sexually first, and then I’ll get to loving her if the other areas line up

I gave the side-eye to that as well. As many times as dudes have said good puddy does not a relationship make, Ex comes up in here and says the total opposite – WIGGETY WA, WA WACK :roll:

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:53 pm

WillieD – Mmmm hmmm, I guess I’m hearing things then. Gotta get that checked

SlimUno

April 12th, 2012
4:54 pm

Jake – Why does it matter if he ‘hit it yet’ to determine sending flowers or not?

Celisea

April 12th, 2012
4:55 pm

Well I for one believe that’s how most ninjas think. Good thing about that is I don’t have to play that way. I’m not allowing some dude to do a test run and THHHHHEEEEENNNN say, ummm never mind, not working for me. Not happening.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 12th, 2012
4:55 pm

Well Cel…these views that I spit represent my experience and my observation, I do not speak for all men…I just call it how I see it.

Willie Dynamite

April 12th, 2012
4:58 pm

Jake – we could always invite Sassy in for the after hours Barbershop convo. Cel used to frequent but I think it got in the way of Bible study or something. J/k Cel please don’t blast me.n

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit !! ;-)

April 12th, 2012
4:58 pm

I’m not allowing some dude to do a test run and THHHHHEEEEENNNN say, ummm never mind, not working for me.

cosign….