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Should you juggle dates?

One of the perks of being single and unattached is having the freedom to mix and mingle, meet new potential marches. When you are lucky enough to find not one but two really cool people, should you juggle them?

Is it bad dating ethics to see more than one person until you are sure about how you feel about each of them?

A guy friends has a problem when he is seeing one woman while she is still juggling a couple of suitors. He feels as if she is obligated to let him know if he is not the only one in the picture. He admits that it would change his efforts – and it could result in him losing interest.

When do you juggle dates and when do you decide it’s time to let one go? Do you think it is good to tell when they are one of many people jockeying for your time?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

228 comments Add your comment

Lily

April 4th, 2012
6:07 am

I guess not, being single but I too would like to know. I’m like your friend Diva, I know I won’t stay interested knowing you have the luxury of switching up as I’d much rather prefer to not be in a line-up. But since technically you’re single you can do that…..just leave me out of it. If you won’t be honorable enough to be honest and tell me, I’m out anyway once I leatn the truth. You have a right to date as you want being single and I have a right to take a pass.

al

April 4th, 2012
7:41 am

As long as you are up front about it, dating more than one person at a time is more than OK. Dating is a time to get to know someone to see if there might be potential for something longer term. It can take several dates to even begin to make those choices. Seems silly to stop seeing one person you don’t know that well because you are seeing someone else you don’t know that well.

I would not blindly broadcast to a date that I was dating other people. But if she asked, I would be honest and let her know that I was. And at the point that you decide that a person definitely is not the right match for you, you need to let them know so they can move on.

Slim's got the fever!

April 4th, 2012
8:06 am

Good morning,

Even though I’m not one to really date several folks at once it sounds like folks want to start out in a relationship then work backwards to see if they are going to make a good match. Dating is dating. I would never assume that a guy who is showing new interest in me is not talking, dating, dealing with, humping someone else at that moment. As we learned here the other day, some folks hang out with the opposite sex, just to go out or have something to do…so you just never know what a persons situation is. I have let guys know that i’m dating or whatever. As time progresses, someone is going to eventually get diminishing time together and the other who is “in the lead’ so to speak with start to get more attention. It’s almost like shopping for insurance. You see what each company is offering, have them provide you with a few quotes, see if it works with what you have going on, then decide and choose one.

George P Burdell

April 4th, 2012
8:16 am

While I agree that as long as you are up front about it, dating more than one person at a time is OK.
Unfortunately, few people will disclose that they are dating other people, and many are just “players” that just need an excuse so that they don’t have to admit that they enjoy the ego boost and thrill of having multiple partners.
Personally, it is a red flag, and I put such people on my “B” list (OK to date until something better comes along… then good bye).

Reio

April 4th, 2012
8:58 am

I was always a one woman man. If I’m seeing you,I won’t stick around if you’re seeing someone else besides me. Never had this experience though. I would also like to be told by her that she is seeing someone else. During my dating days, I would ask “Are you seeing someone?” or “Are you in a relationship?” If the answer is “Yes”, I’m gone. Each time I asked that question, the answer was “No”. I’m sure a few of them lied, but I never caught them.

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
9:00 am

Morning.

I don’t see much wrong with dating a few in the beginning, meaning first few dates. Being single affords you the opportunity to date and find out who will be a match for you. Until the convo turns to being exclusive, then dating is what single people do. Like Slim said, just because we went out on a date I can’t honestly think he doesn’t have someone else in rotation. If we connect, find that we truly want to be with each other, the others will drop by the wayside. But, going in first telling him I’m dating others, I won’t volunteer. If asked, I’ll tell the truth.

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
9:02 am

@Reio ~ those are the questions that should be asked upfront. Are you married, are you living with someone, are you involved with someone? Then, you can decide your next step which should be looking for the nearest Exit sign.

BIG OTT

April 4th, 2012
9:03 am

I prefer to juggle Juggies instead.

It is less stressful and saves on gas.

Mike P

April 4th, 2012
9:14 am

Good Morning,

Interesting choice of topic as we head into prime dating/mating season lol.

I’ve said it here before; I’ll say it again. I don’t date women who play this game, personally I just can’t do it and I shouldn’t have to apologize for it. Either you choose to date me OR you choose to date someone else, period!!!

audra

April 4th, 2012
9:14 am

I don’t think you have to tell. One clarification: if you are sleeping with someone, in my view you shouldn’t be sleeping with others. That’s just a given. But if you’re just dating, I think all’s fair until you and another person have chosen to take it to another level.

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
9:16 am

How different is this if you’re online dating. You meet someone nice, go out a few times. Should you close our profile down simply because you dated someone. Like I said, until you two talk about being exclusive, you’re simply dating.

Reio

April 4th, 2012
9:25 am

I don’t remember ever having a talk about being exclusive. I assumed that I was the only one she was seeing, and I knew she was the only one I was seeing. Never had that specific conversation though. Never came up.

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
9:31 am

In 2012, I think that convo is necessary, Reio. Sure, there are times when it’s obvious both are exclusive with one another, but things can be so murky I think it’s prudent to have that conversation.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 4th, 2012
9:34 am

I didn’t offer information that wasn’t needed beyond a need to know basis. That gives everyone plausible deniability to say “I didn’t know” and “You didn’t ask”.

By the time we go together – they’d know it.

Morning

Reio

April 4th, 2012
9:38 am

Even if you’re honest up front, how do you tell the one that gets dumped that you’re dumping them? I guess it’s a little easier if they know that you could possibly start seeing the other one exclusively.I mean, how do you say it? “Alright, I called you to tell you that I’ve made up my mind, you’re out, the other one is in. Hit the road”

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
9:43 am

Morning lovelies,

This is just my take on the matter:

Personally, I don’t want to be bothered with somebody’s rotation. Period. Point blank. Yes I know folks will date others while “dating”, even so it’s not how I play and I would appreciate a man that’s honest enough to lay it out there, allowing me the option to move it along. That’s just me and how I feel about my person. You don’t have to date a sea of people to know if one is right for you. You can date one and determine if one is right for you. IMO it’s an excuse for ice cream and cake eating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone nor their preferences. Just saying for me I wouldn’t date several men mainly because I wouldn’t want it done to me. I’m selfish like that.

Off topic: I’ve been invited by a friend to attend a spin class today….I’m going :)

Reio

April 4th, 2012
9:44 am

Or you could call up and say “I’ve made up my mind, you’re both out. Hit the road. Now I need to find two more people to date.” Is this how it goes? Hehehe…

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
9:45 am

And really if it was THAT honorable, why is it the vast majority dating many at once won’t disclose? Because they know it ain’t exactly something a person wants to hear or know….”btw, you’re next up after Sambooka, Triketa and Falenda” Ummm, that’s not all that appealing.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 4th, 2012
9:46 am

@Reio

Tell them the truth: “You aren’t the only person that I am/was seeing; but I found someone that I want to get to know better, so we can’t see each other anymore. I wish you luck in life and love.”

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
9:51 am

Morning, all!

Didn’t we have this discussion recently?

My two cents: I’m a one-at-a-time kinda girl. I like to devote my time and attention to one guy and get to know him and then decide if it’s worth pursuing further.

(Have mercy I am fighting the typo beast this morning. Chalk it up to pain meds. Stupid bulging discs.)

Reio

April 4th, 2012
9:54 am

Dan – still…Su, Sounds nice and direct. Straight to the point. But basically, what you’re telling her is to haul azz, right? I mean, that’s what it boils down to.

Stonethrower

April 4th, 2012
9:54 am

Monkey bars: Swing to one while holding on the other.

Spinsterlicious

April 4th, 2012
9:56 am

There is nothing wrong with juggling dates. That is absolutely one of the perks of being single. Just be honest about it. There are lots of ways to “live single and happy”…without deception: http://www.amazon.com/The-Spinsterlicious-Life-Lessons-Child-free/dp/1469968525/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331781179&sr=8-1

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
10:00 am

….”btw, you’re next up after Sambooka, Triketa and Falenda” Ummm, that’s not all that appealing.

LOL@Cely. Good one!!

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
10:01 am

ITL – LOL How are you today? Missed you these last couple of days

Mike P

April 4th, 2012
10:27 am

I have to admit, for whatever reason, I find it incredibly distasteful and very disrespectful for a women to juggle multiple suitors at the same time. If you think about it, only one man is in an actual courting position while all the others are just being strung along and being played and used, and its the men that have to pay out his pockets for this? NEVER!!! I’ve dismissed several women for that mess. and we’re suppose to take them seriously?? straight foolishness.

Mr. Unknown

April 4th, 2012
10:28 am

Morning

Its only ok to date several people if your willing to split the bill and the cost as we get to know each other. If your dating several people or someone else that takes the fun out of courting you. I don’t want my actions to be judged or compared to the other person. Now if your hiding the fact that your dating someone else that makes you a player. People should ask themselves this, if the two people that you were dating so happen to be in the same room would you be comfortable?

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
10:33 am

Mike P – I totally agree. I’ll add though, it’s the same thing with having women strung along.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 4th, 2012
10:39 am

@Reio

Not “kick rocks” (I believe in karma, so I try not to do too much)

More “hey, it’s nothing against you personally, I just want to get to know her more; and I don’t want to be unfair to you or hold you up in finding someone that may be better suited to you”

Fion

April 4th, 2012
10:47 am

Aye man, I don’t know many grown folks (male or female) with Options they can’t exercise if they so choose.
The Game is the Game and if you’re Single you’re playin’ it. You may not want to admit it here, but you know at one time or another you’ve been on the field of play.

where is my post

April 4th, 2012
10:50 am

Enter your comments here

where is my post

April 4th, 2012
10:52 am

There is nothing wring with juggling dates. Stop taking it personal, Dating is a numbers game. its like playing the lottery, the more tickets you buy, the better your chances of hitting the jackpot

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
10:53 am

Off topic:

It was annouced a year or so ago there would be thousands laid off. The wheel is now in motion. Folks are dropping around here like flies. There’s another major annoucement today. We’ll see.

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
10:54 am

Morning All!

I don’t have much of an opinion on this except I see it as another one of those “double standards” we discussed yesterday. In about every discussion I’ve heard on this topic, even on Michael Baisden once, most men find it okay to see multiple women at a time but they don’t care for women to do it. Then this stupid issue of “whose paying” seems to come up as well. Some dudes have issue with the notion that this woman is being taken out on his dime and the other dude’s dime too. What does that have to do with anything?

I was never one to juggle, but say I accept a 1st date from one guy. 2 days later, before I even went out with him, another guy asks me out. I’m free & single, remember? Should I turn the 2nd guy down until I’ve gone out with the 1st guy? If the 1st guy askes am I seeing anyone, do I tell him I’ve accepted a date with another guy for next week and this will be my 1st time going out with the other guy?

Is it okay, being free and single, if asked if you are seeing others you reply “no one serious”?

There really isn’t a cut-and-dried answer to this! Nobody really is wrong.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
10:56 am

Where’s my post – I don’t think anyone is taking anything personal. I think everybody has stated their choice or preference. I for one am certainly not trying to sway anyone not condemning. Just like I believe it when you say you cool being in rotation, it should be no less incredible if someone’s preference is not to be.

Too you don’t have to “hide” to get that said. Change your moniker back and jump in the discussion…lol

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
10:58 am

that shoud be “nor” and “you’re”

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
11:09 am

ITL – LOL How are you today? Missed you these last couple of days

Hey girl! I’m I’m making it. :) I’ll be glad when my chiropractor gets back from spring break!

Did you and Lady have fun in Vinings? (Wasn’t that this week?)

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:12 am

ITL – Yes, yesterday. We had a nice luncheon. I was a few minutes late :) Good food, good convo. We’re gonna do it again in May. Make sure to keep your calendar open :) I’m sure though by then we’re gonna have to take it inside…lol It got “warm” yesterday.

Where is Lady this morning?

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:13 am

Hey C!!!!!! Had some morning task to handle!!!!

Such a pleasure meeting you honey!!!! Enjoyed that outing!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:14 am

Let’s see what are we discussing……….

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:14 am

Lady – Me too!

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:18 am

this is the part of the dating game that irks my nerves……………….hmmm meeting someone new for the 1st time isn’t it understood the person may be somewhat involved with someone but not on an exclusive level?!? But its really not spoken that early on or does saying “I am single” suffice?!? Mind games I say~

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:19 am

is there a spectrum of singleness or does one determine their own rules and play by them?!? #curious

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:24 am

waving @ ITL!!!!!!!!!!!! yes La Paz next in May!!!!!!!!!! it will be Margarita Time! I say any time after Cinco De Mayo!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
11:25 am

What’s equally irksome is when you tell someone you’re not dating and they don’t believe you.

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
11:25 am

Lady – I agree with your 11:18. Some dudes though, want you to act exclusive with them, though, before you really are!

Mike P

April 4th, 2012
11:28 am

@kimmie: the pay issue comes up because if I (speaking for myself and not other men) decide that a women is worth the effort in getting to know better, I am saying to her that I am dating her and only her; i don’t want my internal “wifey/mate” suitability evaluations about her be skewed because I’d subconsciously pit her against some other chick I’d also be dating. Since I’d give her this respect, I deserve the same in kind. and I will most-certainly will NOT be paying or treating a woman to disrespect me and give me her undivided attention I deserve.

Look at this another way, if a chick was juggling, she’s telling me I’m not worth it. I don’t have time for that mess.

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:28 am

Indeed Kimmie and it doesn’t work that way at all~

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:28 am

LaPaz it is…if you can make it there ITL Maybe if we do another half day or “extended” lunch, we can all get there and enjoy the meal and not have to rush….like yesterday

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:29 am

or even after work C~

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:30 am

Lady – Yep that might be better. That way it’s cooled down some and we can enjoy the patio.

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:30 am

yeah Leggs I get that too…………………it is what it is….I say just get to know someone an dlisten….time and actions will answer some questions and red flags~

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
11:31 am

Leggs – Maybe that’s a roundabout way of complimenting you “I can’t believe a nice lady like you hasn’t been snatched up”!

Or, by “not believing” you, it’s a way to justify their juggling activities. A player move.

Either way, it’s their problem, not yours. Personally, other than “I’m single or not seeing anyone seriously” is an acceptable level of honesty about the question early on. Anything beyond that is none of your business until things start getting more serious.

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:33 am

Either way, it’s their problem, not yours. Personally, other than “I’m single or not seeing anyone seriously” is an acceptable level of honesty about the question early on. Anything beyond that is none of your business until things start getting more serious<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Agree. I am just not ignorant to the fact with some obvious things………….like I said time will tell the tale~

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
11:37 am

@kimmie ~ it is a roundabout way of complimenting, but don’t there is disbelief. I have had many shake their heads in wonderment. Such is life. I haven’t encountered that one who likes my blend of coffee (me), nor me liking their’s.

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
11:38 am

Exactly, Lady….time will tell the tale!

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
11:40 am

Mike P – I get it and respect your view. But in your example you have “made the decision” to date her and only her. You absolutely deserve the same respect back from her. I’m talking about coming out of the gate, 1st or 2nd date. At that point, the lines are fuzzy. She can’t accept a 1st date unless absolutely no one else might call her? It’s not realistic.

Decisions whether or not to pay should be about who asked who out on the date.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 4th, 2012
11:45 am

@Kimmie

There’s an old saying: “find out if she’s worth it, then treat her like a queen.”

So I’m ret there with Mike on that one.

Row 125, seat 11B

April 4th, 2012
11:46 am

Wow…..This never seemed to be that big a deal….If someone asks then be honest, but if there has not been a conversation about being exclusive, then YOU ARE NOT EXCLUSIVE! Don’t be messy and keep it respectful and this should be a non issue……….

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
11:47 am

Mike P – How does the pay issue come up anyway??? Is it okay, then, if she says she’s seeing other people because they all go dutch?

Sorry, the “who pays on a date” issues are a real pet peeve with me. Can’t stand cheapness. A dude could keep his little pennies if it’s such a problem! Again, just me!

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
11:50 am

Kimmie it irks my nerves too!!!!! smh

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
11:51 am

Dan – Again, I’m with him too, but AGAIN, he’s talking about after the decision has been made to be exclusive! Why would you spend time and money on someone you deem not worthy?

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:53 am

Imma have to side the ladies on “pay” being an issue. I don’t get that. But I do understand not wanting to date a bunch of folks. That’s just how it is for me and where I stand. I think it just feeds right down the alley of greedy folks. I understand and get it when meeting someone new, the dynamics…I get that. But some folks you can’t get them “that” much. Like the old saying….give an inch and they’ll take a mile. So for some it’s just a crutch to do what they already know ain’t cool.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:56 am

And for the greedy, they ain’t gonna tell me it’s easy to just “nip it”, lickity split, nice and clean….the narrow down. If you’ve enjoyed the company of say two or three and each has a little bit of something you like, at what point do you narrow? Do you go in eliminating or do you just bask in several and THEEEEN after so long a time try and decide? I’m not buying. That’s the skeptic in me talking…lol J/K/B/N/R

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
11:56 am

Celisea – I’m with you on that too, not wanting to date a bunch of folks OR deal with someone who does.

I’ve just never had that much going on that it was an issue anyway. Just participating in the discussion! :)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 4th, 2012
11:57 am

@Kimmie

Of course I did. And you don’t find out they weren’t worth it until after that money is spent.

Thus, the saying…

Sassy Me...Beaming!! ;-)

April 4th, 2012
11:57 am

We’re gonna do it again in May. Make sure to keep your calendar open

I’d like to join if that’s okay….

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:59 am

Kimmie – I’ve just never had that much going on that it was an issue anyway. Just participating in the discussion!

Chile, me either…lol I ain’t been one that’s had hundreds beating down the door. Just stating my stance on the topic but I ain’t got it going on like that. And frankly some dudes, yeah but I bet many (dudes) that have….have to sponsor to keep it going….lol Maybe that’s what Mike P is talking about :)

If you gotta sponsor to get it, you ain’t REEAALLLYY got it like that. You just bought it.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
11:59 am

Hey Sassy….Yes chile you’re welcome to join :)

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:00 pm

Sure Sassy and anyone else that wants to join….will do a email for it closer to the date~

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
12:01 pm

Thank you kimmie (11:40).

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:02 pm

May 11th possibly any time after 5:30 no strict rules very laid back chill mode

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
12:03 pm

Lady and others – What about the Thursday before? I have something that Friday….

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:05 pm

works for me sis~

Mike P

April 4th, 2012
12:06 pm

@kimmie: it has nothing to do with cheapness, its all about setting high standards, what I am willing to accept or not. If I am dating a women, we already have had build upon a report, We’ve already talked, chatted on the phone, and we’ve already exchanged ideas of the minds, so I have already decided that she’s quality material, I would date because of it, I just need to know if we’re compatible or not and to interact with a more intimately .Remember I don’t date for fun; dating is all about finding a mate and entering into a relationship; serious business. If we’re going dutch, splitting cost, and seeing other people then, I am not taking the outing seriously, but we just hanging out like friends where I won’t be calling you afterwards like I would’ve in a “REAL” date.

Bottom line, If I am taking a woman on a date, she already knows where I stand on the subject, so there’s no surprises on her part. If I dismiss her, ghost on her, or fade away, she already knows how she messed up.

Sassy Me...Beaming!! ;-)

April 4th, 2012
12:07 pm

Sounds good ladies…email me por favor at: gyz3@cdc.gov. My other email accounts are blocked (hotmail & yahoo) in my office and I don’t want to walk to the common area in the next building..

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:07 pm

May 10th any objections after 5:30?!?

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:08 pm

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
12:08 pm

Works for me Lady :)

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:08 pm

where is ITL Leggs you are down too I hope?!?

Sassy Me...Beaming!! ;-)

April 4th, 2012
12:09 pm

I’m good with that Celi…

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
12:10 pm

Sassy- Okay…fantab

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
12:13 pm

Mike P – You & I think alike on this more than you know. Speaking as a woman, if a dude even suggested going dutch, then it was not a date. I go dutch with friends & coworkers. So that right there let me know where we stand. My experience has been more like your post – we’ve built a rapport and such even before going out.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
12:14 pm

I understood and get all of Mike P’s 12:06. It’s all about setting standards and I agree. Still, don’t get hung up on money. If it’s not going to be something solid, you won’t really be spending that much.

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:15 pm

we’ve built a rapport and such even before going out.<<<<<<<<<so important and supports my time frame assessment~

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
12:16 pm

Sounds like a plan.

@MikeP ~ “dating is all about finding a mate and entering into a relationship; serious business.” I agree. That’s why you ask important questions right out the gate. Once a person gets to that first date, I would think many conversations have taken place (unless it’s a blind date).

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:16 pm

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
12:17 pm

Still, don’t get hung up on money. If it’s not going to be something solid, you won’t really be spending that much

Celisea – Worth repeating!

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
12:19 pm

Kimmie – Just a few dollars at the most. I would think while you’re spending and setting up dates, you’re feeling the person out. If it’s a no go, no point in several dates.

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:23 pm

If it’s not going to be something solid, you won’t really be spending that much.<<<<<<<<at all

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
12:25 pm

Celisea – So right, which is why if a dude is that hung up on money he shouldn’t be leading with his wallet anyway. Coffee & dessert, a moderately priced dinner, shouldn’t set him back so much he needs to complain about it, or he shouldn’t be dating – in my opinion! Concentrate on getting to know a person and making better choices – whining about money is worrying about the wrong thing – again in my opinion!

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:31 pm

whining period

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
12:39 pm

whining period

Lady – :lol:

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
12:47 pm

Should you juggle dates?

If you are single,Ofcourse!

There is no other way to screen them. And it really doesn’t make sense to want to screen them sequentially…one by one as you meet them.

Who meets a chic,even nice one at that and takes the ultimate Big decision from Jump?

So here come dating rotation. Guys play the game. Chics play the game too but pretend like they don’t!

And never (guys) show your cards Anyway! The moment you do,she holds it against u even tho she may be playing u the very same way.

There is no Explicit show and tell in dating,on either side,until things have heated up and the two have been around each other more and more.

But playing is Expensive!

Not many can play! :lol:

Play with the ones worthy of your dollars!

Remember,(like read earlier) the ladies prefer We pay!

Another of those double standards but real men are cool with it!

Howdee!

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
12:47 pm

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
12:53 pm

Kimmie – I agree. We can spin right on around to leading with you wallet, then whining…and so on and so on and so on…lol

Mike P

April 4th, 2012
12:53 pm

who’s whining?? I didn’t bring up being cheap, encouraging cheapness, nor did I complain about paying for dates… I simply said that I wasn’t going to pay (or continue to pay) for a women who gonna disrespect me; her being a player and all. Date Juggler = player

New and just lurking around

April 4th, 2012
12:56 pm

I think the reason why a lot of guy talk about the “whose paying ” is that you have a lot of females who have no interest in a guy but they accept multiple dates and they use the guy to go to all the nice place they cannot afford or just want to go. My question is how many dates does the guy have to take the girl out before she at least offers to pay??? Me personally after 3 dates of my treat the 4th she pays or she cooks for me. if she refuses then its deuces. I am not trying to be anyones sponsor. I personnally feel that if she agrees to at least pay for a date or better yet cook something nice for me, then that is an indicator that she may be interested. any comments???

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
12:59 pm

Ur stance is right Mike P..protecting what’s urs..that’s the whole idea.

They aren’t many chics tho with ur mindset..they may not even like the dude like that,but many accept dates just to fleece the guy until they find the one they really want. That happens.

If u lame,u lose coz there are chics like that.

That is also why a lot of dudes want pay ‘off’ early on. :lol:

Third date at the House! :lol:

Hey Lady!

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
1:05 pm

I actually like Mike P’s stance. I just think he’s overthinking paying. But overall I find it commendable.

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
1:12 pm

I agree with you Newbie!!! After the 4th date or so, I see no reason with the woman asking out him out and paying for the evening.

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
1:13 pm

Cee..Most guys(even chics) have Mike’s stance.

The only problem is most chics won’t disclose that they are dating other folks,especially if the think they like the guy or if they just wanna maintain the illusion of liking this today guy.

So guys don’t know ‘we being played’

That’s why abc is Always Right bout chics being good at this(lying-faking) game. :lol:

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
1:14 pm

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
1:20 pm

never said Mike P was whining at all…..respect his POV. but a whining man is the worst just like a begging woman

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
1:24 pm

MMeelloo – I think both men and women tread in that regard but at some point a person has to trust WHILE being watchful…eyes opened and ear to the ground. If that person is not quite what they’re representing, trust your instincts to clue you in on that.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
1:25 pm

tread lightly and cautiously.

MMeello – Additionally, you don’t have to spend all willy nilly but you CANNOT date without spending. You gotta be able at some point to chaulk it up if it fizzles.

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
1:37 pm

You gotta be able at some point to chaulk it up if it fizzles.<<<<<<<<<<<<<,Its apart of the game. it happens

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
1:38 pm

(waving) Heeeeey Lady!!

Sorry I’m in and out today, y’all. I’m playing catch up (been out of the office since Friday).

La Paz sounds GREAT! And i will definitely take a half-day…no going back to work when there are margaritas to enjoy. :)

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
1:40 pm

Did we say May 10, or the Thursday before?

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
1:41 pm

So are u inviting a few quality specially chosen blog men to this shinding?

@ITL,Cee,Lady!

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
1:43 pm

So are u inviting a few quality specially chosen blog men to this shinding?

I’m sure Blackfoote, Willie D, Jake, and Swiss and welcome if they wanna come. :lol:

;) Couldnt’ resist, Ex. ;)

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
1:50 pm

May 10th after 5:30 ITL enjoying the evening sis

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
1:52 pm

@ITL.. Ouch!!

in that case a rival and more inclusive blog shinding is in order then

For Real and Slim to co host!

There..

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
1:53 pm

Even better, Lady, because I am off the next day! :) And I have a friend who lives crawling walking distance. :)

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
1:56 pm

LOL@Ex. What makes you think Slim won’t be hanging with the girls?!?!? ;)

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
1:59 pm

i am off may 11th too sis can’t wait~

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
1:59 pm

@ITL..easy..we invited the(her) Officer guy and offered him free Corona! :lol:

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
2:00 pm

ITL your 1:43 is on point~ waiting ;)

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
2:01 pm

Well heck, I’ll just take the 11th off then too

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
2:03 pm

@Lady: Me, too! Wonder where the mens are at today (yeah, I said “mens” on purpose). ;)

Where did y’all go yesterday??

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
2:03 pm

Might as well, C!! Never know what we might get into! ;) You did see Bridesmaids, right?!?!? LOL :lol:

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
2:04 pm

funny movie ITL~

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
2:05 pm

ITL – I did…lol And now that I think about it, I’m DEFINITELY taking Friday off….lol I just have a feeling….

We went to Garrisons

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
2:06 pm

C you ready for your spin class sis?!?

this evening I am going to Harbour Seafood in decatur…………………last night wen to dugans on flat shoals………enjoyed myself

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
2:10 pm

Lady – Girl, I was just sitting here thinking about that…shoot I guess or hope rather. I have my gym gear in the car. I hope I can hang.

You’re going to have to give us a report on Harbour Seafood tomorrow. I LOVE seafood and always looking for a new place

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
2:11 pm

Mike P you are welcome as well sir! ;)

Slim's got the fever!

April 4th, 2012
2:11 pm

Did someone riiiiing? ;-)

easy..we invited the(her) Officer guy and offered him free Corona Well I guess I still would be with the girls because Mr. Agent man is a Heineken guy :lol:

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
2:11 pm

will do sis~

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
2:13 pm

Good call, C! ;)

LOL@Slim. Did I mention the girls will also have shots of Goose?!?!? Just sayin’…. ;)

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
2:16 pm

ITL – I can’t be slayed somewhere in the wee hours of the morning and then trying to go to work. Did that a decade ago and CANNOT hang now…lol Of course I don’t have any worries, it will be diet coke or “virgin” drinks for me :)

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
2:17 pm

ITL is on it~

Slim's got the fever!

April 4th, 2012
2:18 pm

ITL – Goose?!! Well, that’s pretty much a no brainer. GIRLS ROCK, DUH! :lol:

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
2:21 pm

I am so sleepy…

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
2:24 pm

Newbie – Part of the game. There are some women just out for free meals and using, just like there are dudes that do the same. If you get played, quit jumping in, leading with wallet and choose better. Real simple. If you choose right and take your time to get to know someone and really listen and find out where their head is and not race to get in the drawers, your odds are better that you’ll find a keeper. And if you get suckered into taking a ZERO to some nice places she couldn’t afford, well you shouldn’t have been leading with wallet. A real woman won’t have an issue treating sometimes either.

Exiled – I do like some of what you said about real men not having a problem with paying.

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
2:25 pm

I’m with you, Cely. Those days are behind me now…. :)

LOL@Slim and Lady. Girls rule, boys drool! LOLOLOL

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
2:39 pm

Don’t start that girl rules, boys drool stuff. Will only bleed into the convo yesterday afternoon.

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
2:42 pm

Thnx Kimmie!

@ITL girls rule boys drool…I think I agree,especially if the chics are enjoying our free flowing beer and drinks,partying hard,loud and are phine!

We drooling…

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
2:43 pm

What happened yesterday?!?!?

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
2:50 pm

Just a nice convo on the changing dynamics between man and woman.

Slim's got the fever!

April 4th, 2012
2:53 pm

There doesn’t seem to be much going on in here at the moment. So I decided to take my exercise outside yesterday and figured I’d go run on the local track. Let me tell ya, that treadmill running has nothing on running outside in the elements. It was nice to get out of the gym but I almost felt like I was back at square one. Now that the weather is heating up, I’ll be able to incorporate more outside runs with my gym schedule.

Leggs – I’ve been feeling lethargic since last night. Yawwwwwn

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
2:55 pm

Slim?

Lethargic?

Is your Vitamin away on duty? :lol:

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
2:56 pm

Hmmmm, maybe I need to go back and read carefully….

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
3:02 pm

@Slim – I ran/briskly walked 2.5 miles on Monday and it felt good getting out of the gym.

disco

April 4th, 2012
3:02 pm

hey y’all.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 4th, 2012
3:03 pm

What up ya’ll..the man has his phalanges on my throat today…back to Lurksville, but shid, I’m down for whatever shindig is in the works.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:05 pm

SPINNING today :)

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:07 pm

If I have to attend any more conference calls regarding disregarded entities and tax classifications I’m going to scream!!!!!!

At least I’m sitting across from a hottie

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
3:08 pm

So you do have your work clothes in the car Celisea? Excellent.

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
3:08 pm

@ Jake…

don’t bring the wife!

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
3:09 pm

@Celisea ~ I had to blink because I first read “sitting across frm a bottle. Blinked and the letters were more focused (lol).

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
3:13 pm

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 4th, 2012
3:13 pm

Ex…you stoopid, I’m allowed to go to the playground all by myself now….sometimes….lol

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
3:14 pm

sitting across from a hottie

@Cel..desist the temptation to ‘friendly’ mars(moon) him..(or is it Venus)

:lol:

(let’s do a prayer together in case u breathing heavy)

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:21 pm

Leggs – Yep…clothes in the car :)

Leggs – Grab yourself a jolt cola…you are sleepy my dear

MMeello – No breathing hard here. Just like having seeing my incentive. I’m such a stinker sometimes…I love to tap his drum…sometimes…DON’T JUDGE ME! One day I came in and he’d been gone for 3 days at a conference. When he saw me he said “there she is and I in reply said “Heeeey there you” That’s all it took….he lit up like a Christmas tree :)

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
3:25 pm

Oh gosh, Celisea is visualizing tap on a drum (lol)…

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
3:26 pm

Cel?

so u receptive or open to it if he makes a move?

but u got your pride intact and won’t initiate a drink outing,even during work hours!?

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:31 pm

MMeelloo – I said we work together and I like to tap his drum….EVERY NOW AND AGAIN…not everyday, no rendevous in his office none of the sort. No, no initiating a drink nowhere. No more than the harmless flirting that happens on the blog occasionally. We’ve had lunch together a couple of times and done a few client events but nothing more to tell. Sorry nothing to tell :)

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
3:31 pm

@Jake: Don’t worry – I’ll be checking permission slips at the door; I promise not to tell if you forge the signature on yours. :)

Alright then, Ms. Drummer Girl…. :lol:

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:32 pm

I just like that fact that he’s moved by black women :)

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
3:32 pm

I good long sip of a coke will do, except I don’t drink Coke. Wait, we’re in the south. You probably mean any type of sugary soda (lol). Well, gave up my Fanta Orange so all I have is this nice juicy orange…

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:33 pm

ITL – I almost broke out the lyrics to the Little Drummer Boy…lol I kid I kid Just trying bring some life up in here….folks are sleeping or I should say maybe it’s not their day to blog or too busy or working

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:34 pm

Leggs – Actually I meant jolt cola…too bad you don’t drink. That will get you going…lol

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
3:35 pm

Cel..

’sorry nothing to tell’

I am glad u realize sometimes you disappoint me by your ‘wasting’ of that sexualfabulolicity u got!
:lol:

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
3:36 pm

I just like that fact that he’s moved by black women

Speaking of black women and men who love them, where the hockey sticks is Swiss?!?!?

@Cely: Um, you know the first line is “Come, they told me pa rum pa pum pum….” IJS…. :lol:

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
3:39 pm

@Leggs: Not just sugary drinks.

Me: You want a coke?
BFF: Yep
Me: What kind?
BFF: diet Coke.
Me: K. :)

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:40 pm

Mmeelloo – Nothing extraordinarily sexually fabulous here…trust me I’m just a regular Jane…lol That was funny though. I tell ya, almost once a day someone says something here that makes me burst out laughing….seriously Love it

In all seriousness, I only work with men and really from the stuffy ones to the lily white ones to the one that think their Jesus incarnate, you have to have a little fun with it some days. This one have spent his career working with black women so he LOVES ‘em….I just love the fact that he appreciates and holds (at least) with the highest regard, is respectful and acknowledges my knowledge and expertise AND takes my advice and recommendations on most issues. Why would I not give him a litte “something”….of course harmless, limited, friendly banter is probably more how I should peg it. Somebody will no doubt toss this in my face is I quote a bible verse next week. LOLOLOLOL You know how folks do

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:41 pm

“at least me” is what I was writing

ITL – LOLOL…okaaaay

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:42 pm

“if” not is…sorry

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
3:43 pm

C is everyday people~ ;)

ITL you are a riot!

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
3:47 pm

LOL@C and Lady. Thanks, y’all. :)

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
3:47 pm

Cel?

so tell me something here Cel?

do u ever bite At All..no pun there

what moves and slays your mountain?

u just seem so incorruptible..at least that’s how I read u..

U don’t admit Nothing!

that reminds me of Ared’s blog admission of her attempt at getting it from the guy she met at the bar…in the car, if I’m not mistaken..but withdrew when no condom was handy!

It was refreshing candor! :lol:

I wish u Cel wld equal that! :lol:

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
3:48 pm

Slim's got the fever!

April 4th, 2012
3:53 pm

Ex – I take a womens vitamin daily so not falling for that take on ‘is my vitamin away’.

Leggs – I may do it again today but the battery in my phone is dead, dead, dead. Kind of hard to stay motivated without at least some banging jams in my ear

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
3:54 pm

I definitely understand, Slim. I didn’t run today simply because I didn’t want to run alone and I had no music….poor excuse, but that’s my story.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
3:58 pm

Thanks Lady….you get it

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:01 pm

MMeelloo – Nothing perfect here…trust me there. Is it because I don’t rattle on and on with every detail of every date/encounter of my life or weekend happenings first thing Monday morning or the morning after?

Here’s what I’ve noticed….NONE OF THE MEN here, outside of trolls EVER tell of their encounters. They may join in the festivities of enjoying what the ladies put out but they NEVER TELL….not even you. You may say you’re “full” but that’s about it. I always smirk to myself when I see folks moving around talking about it but sort of egging it on without actually engaging. Too, it’s just not couth for grown women to dish everything…detail by detial. I’m not dishing.

I’ll make a deal with you. If we can get a day of just the men giving up details on their encounter(s), I’ll do it too. So far, they all sit back and watch…and that’s all. Not that I feel they need to, don’t get me wrong but why should I if you all won’t/can’t? Honestly it’s just not couth to put it out there. Nothing wrong with a bit of fun but real life real time is really private and should be kept that way.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:07 pm

Oh Lord, we’re already moving at a snail’s pace…I didn’t shut it down did I?

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:13 pm

And the person that invited me to spin class is trying to back out….

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
4:13 pm

lol c with those bewitched powers~ twinkle, twinkle ;)

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:14 pm

{{crickets, crickets and more crickets}}….

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
4:15 pm

c that makes you normal~ it happens

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:15 pm

Lady – Folks are funny

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:15 pm

Lady – Thanks…cause I swear folks think I think I’m perfect….FAAAAAAAR from it…I’m just not tawdry and loose…lol

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:18 pm

Meelloo – I will say if it’s getting just outright nasty, plenty will join in and come out of the woodworks but that’s for having fun with us and seeing how far it will go. I’m talking telling us Monday morning about their love making session or getting laid by some random chick.

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
4:19 pm

Cel..at least I can smile a lil Cel

(debauchery luvs company)

:lol:

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
4:19 pm

i think i just had a hot flash its hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:20 pm

Mmeello – And there you have it :)

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
4:22 pm

Debauchery loves company! HA!!

I wouldn’t mind a little debauchery to pass the time…. ;) Maybe when I’m in Phoenix….

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:24 pm

MMeello – You’re alright with me. At least you ask what you want to know. Even it’s it’s nunya…lol

ITL – Careful now girlie. You know you’ll have to report back right? I wanna know. Only in Vegas does what happens there stays there. Anywhere else you’re required to dish…

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:27 pm

Huh…I’m cracking up, Celisea. Your 4:24 overrides your 4:01. I get it, you want to hear other people’s stories, you just want add to it (lol)…got it!

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
4:28 pm

C- Trust me… I hope there is a story to tell! ;) Maybe not one full of debauchery, but a little well-intentioned, naughtiness might be just the ticket! :)

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
4:29 pm

Celisea – You hit it dead on the nose. Folks love to lay back in the cut and watch others let it all hang out. Then they sit back & judge. Most of us are too old for that play-by-play mess anyway, it’s very uncouth, like you said.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:33 pm

ITL – Yum

Leggs – (Sigh)…you’re reading too closely behind me. I don’t care one way or the other if someone post whatever it is they do. But is someone ASKS ME FOR ONE, and I NEVER HEAR FROM THEM or others that egg it on, I’m naturally going to wonder why I gotta dish but you don’t. See you following to close. I didn’t ask for a story and I’m neither here nor there is one is posted. I just know for me, what I do is my business. It’s not to be blasted on a blog.

i'm swiss

April 4th, 2012
4:33 pm

kimmie — You can tell me all about it. I won’t judge. :D

ITL — When are we you going to be in Phoenix?

Oh, and afternoon, blogville!

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:34 pm

Sorry, didn’t think I was reading too closely. Cool…..

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
4:34 pm

Kiimmie so u endorsing Cee’s 4:01 paragraph 1??

as it pertains to U..?

All I wanna know at this point! :lol:

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
4:35 pm

wow its margarita time! time to cool off! 0_o #whew

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:36 pm

I read it as you blasting those who sit in the cut and not tell their stories…not necessarily someone asking YOU your story.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:36 pm

THANK YOU KIMMIE…you get it. Most days the topic, I thought was to give opinions and thoughts…not plaster every detail, real time event of your life. You are right. All folks are going to is judge. That’s why Mmelloo has an image of me in his head…sexualfabulocity I believe is how he pegged. Why? I’ve not given him anything for concluding that about me. It’s what he read in what’s not spoken. Still he could be wrong but it’s what he’s deduced or want to believe or hope someone can tell

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:38 pm

Why am I a retard and using is for if??? LOL

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:39 pm

Leggs – Again I wasn’t blasting anyone. I was having a conversation with MMeello and mentioned what I’ve noticed. You’re following too close lady.

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:39 pm

Probably because my IS friend jumped in your body and took over your typing….

kimmie

April 4th, 2012
4:40 pm

swiss – Hey there dawg! I live vicariously thru you now, being I’m a boring soccer mom and all!LOL!!

Celisea – One’s personal business is just that, and folks do need to watch what they put out there, especially those blogging from work, like me.

A few times though, when folks have confessed to things on here, like having an affair or knowing the paternity of a neighborhood kid and not telling, etc, this blog has slammed them something ugly. I always figure we are only hearing one side of a multiple-sided story and I’m not the one involved in it, so who am I to judge. Some folks on here have taken to thinking they are Jesus, though. SMH

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:40 pm

IS acquaintenace….

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:41 pm

Possibly? Doesn’t matter as long as the message is understood

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:43 pm

Kimmie – You are right. I’ve have many many many experiences but knowing folks are waiting in judgement, please I would NEVER tell it here. Really, it would be nice if this was a world of sharing and everyone just understanding we’ve all lived and experienced and learned but nope you cannot for folks hanging on

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:44 pm

@Celisea ~ I was just about to say “blasting” wasn’t the right word to use. Again, didn’t realize you were having a private convo with Ex. Thought this was open blogging.

Nonetheless, don’t mean to follow to closel, I’m back in my lane…

PEACE!

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:44 pm

Leggs – You spelled acquaintance wrong :) Gotta watch correcting folks because we’re all prone to getting it wrong sometimes.

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
4:44 pm

Cracking up!

blog is fun I tell ya! :lol:

Lady~

April 4th, 2012
4:45 pm

peace out folks~

i'm swiss

April 4th, 2012
4:45 pm

I don’t know… I think I’ve put quite a bit out there. Your boy swiss is an open book…

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:46 pm

It is open but if you’re hanging on my everyword to jump in there with “something” (happening a few days now), I’m gonna make mention :)

Peace to you too….

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:47 pm

I wasn’t correcting anyone.

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:47 pm

Swiss – I can’t lie….I meant to go back and say you being the exception but got to blogging with MMello…sorry

I would NEVER take that away from you

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:48 pm

Leggs – Not today….

But I was today

Leggs

April 4th, 2012
4:48 pm

HUH??? I haven’t been hanging onto your every word ever to make “something” of something. Not at all….

Sorry you feel that way.

Sassy Me...Beaming!! ;-)

April 4th, 2012
4:48 pm

I think I’ve put quite a bit out there.

:lol: Yes you have uni-baller :mrgreen:

Read y’all tomorrow!!!!

Celisea

April 4th, 2012
4:48 pm

i'm swiss

April 4th, 2012
4:51 pm

I think that’s gonna be my new p0rn name, Sassy. ;-)

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
4:53 pm

How’s the new job buddy Swiss?

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
4:54 pm

Nite folks goodblog day!

i'm swiss

April 4th, 2012
4:55 pm

So far, so good, Me.lo. Busy, but good.

Exiled!

April 4th, 2012
4:57 pm

I’m sending u an email Swiss

i'm swiss

April 4th, 2012
5:00 pm

Cool. Send it to my gmail.

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
5:04 pm

Hey y’all….back from a conference call.

THERE’S my Swiss! xoxoxoxo

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
5:09 pm

Well dang…. I come back and y’all are ghost. HMPH!! (ITL poking out her lip and stomping over to the bar!)

i'm swiss

April 4th, 2012
5:14 pm

It makes me kinda h0rny when you poke your lips out like that, ITL. ;-) :lol:

Into the Light

April 4th, 2012
5:25 pm

Swiss!!!! You are so bad. :lol: