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Double standards, much?

There are times when men and women view things differently. It is one of those that has become a fact of life. The fact that men believe that women should not engage in the very same behavior as they do is an example of double standards that makes it harder to relate to one another.

What is hilarious (and annoying) is that double standard benefit men more than women? Why is that? What good are double standards?

What are some double standards that bug you? Which ones are good and you hope won’t ever go away?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

147 comments Add your comment

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 3rd, 2012
2:12 pm

@Robert

The last line of your 2:04 makes me suspect that you’re not a male.

Because no male would make the statement “making a man act and think like a man.” Being a man, like maleness, is not something you choose, it’s who you are.

I know silly men, childish men, ignorant men, dumb men, brilliant men, scared men, brave men, thug men, business men, executive men, etc.
These are but adjectives, describing the man.

They’re all men – in the sense that they are male – and when they accept responsibility/cuplability for their actions, protect their families, sacrifice of themselves for their family, etc – I call them as good men – by my definition only.

But making a blanket “men’ comment is not something I would expect a grown man to do.

But make no

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
2:15 pm

Slim…I got your Cool Whip, its the skeetable, I mean squeezable kind.

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
2:17 pm

Robert comes on here with a new story every few days.

So Robert, what’s the situation with you and your “clingy” girlfriend of 2 years that wants to tag along more often when you go visit your kids? The one that you claimed you hoped one day you would be worthy enought to marry. What’s up with all that?

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
2:21 pm

Unless it’s a different Robert, Robert himself is gay. He’s been on numberous times talking about bathroom hookups and other things.

Slim's got the fever!

April 3rd, 2012
2:23 pm

@kimmie – And to that I say, “SHAZAM!” :lol:

Jake – :shock: I don’t think I like that kind of topping on my fruit.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 3rd, 2012
2:32 pm

@leggs

Hold on now, bathroom hookups don’t make you gay unless you with another dude.

@Jake

I’m with you in the sense of the shift affecting certain aspects of family life; however, your contention would (seem to without clarification) absolve the men in the situation – if there are any.

Even then, responsibility is something one assumes more often than not, it’s not given or bestowed if the reciever (in this case the kid – if there is no male) isn’t prepared to handle/receive it.

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
2:46 pm

@Dan ~ Robert has been on here talking about hookups with other MEN.

@Slim ~ I just left a co-workers desk who has some gorgeous flowers on her desk. As I’m standing there, I realize they smell just like piss or semen. We both agreed and fell out laughing.

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
2:47 pm

Not every pretty flower has a pleasant aroma….

Slim's got the fever!

April 3rd, 2012
2:48 pm

:shock: OMG, Leggs I’m not sure what I thought you were going to say but I think I was totally unprepared to read they smelled like p!ss and semen Hollers :lol: :lol: To me, semen smells like stale ajax

disco

April 3rd, 2012
2:55 pm

stale ajax? now that’s a new one to me.

Slim's got the fever!

April 3rd, 2012
2:57 pm

disco – hehehehehe

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
3:02 pm

A lot of flowers do stink. They make me sick to my stomach to smell some of them. And then they have the nerve to make perfume out of some of them! Yuck, I hate flowery scents. Roses only smell good on roses!

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
3:05 pm

Dan…not at all, the men certainly hold responsibilty for there actions, whatever those might be. Its just a thought that I had about contributing factors to where we are now.

Slim's got the fever!

April 3rd, 2012
3:10 pm

kimmie – This lady in the office next to mine has been burning some floral scented candle and it is SUPER strong. I can’t say that i’m too fond of it either. But I have a really keen sense of smell which can be a curse at times. The beau has one of those automatic air freshner dispensers that goes off every few minutes or so. The current scent makes me nauseas so I’ll turn it off while i’m there. He turns it back on when i leave

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
3:11 pm

Roses only smell good on roses! – YEP

Hyacinth is one stinking flower.

Stale Ajax is definitely a new one. Next time I’m around some of the stuff I’ll see if it smells like stale Ajax. How does Ajax become stale?

i'm swiss

April 3rd, 2012
3:12 pm

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII know you like to thank yo’ sh!t don’t staaaaaaaaaaaaaaank
but lean a lil’ bit closer, see, roses really smell like boo-boo-boooooo

Exiled!

April 3rd, 2012
3:12 pm

Biggest Double Standard of Mine:

She lick

I don’t

:lol:

Biggest Emotional double standard:

You sleep with chic and KIM

She sore :sad:

Man is happy!

(as if u ripped the pudsy off)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 3rd, 2012
3:18 pm

@Jake

I think along those same lines some times, but if you’ll allow me:

Right around the time of women’s lib (the late ’60s/early ’70s) there was also a shift in economics. The 70s saw inflation, the ‘children of the 60s having to get jobs, oil crises, war, the influx (reportedly) of ‘hard’ drugs etc.

But to focus on the AA tradition: before the 70s a man could support 2, maybe 3 families on his manufacturing job(s)/other income. Were the ladies involved happy about it; no, but as long as he ‘came around’ it was all good. The late 70s stopped all that – inflation hit the AA community first and hard (as most economic indicators do). So the man that had free time and change now has either one or neither.

Decisions have to be made and someone (family) is getting left out. Around the same time, women are emerging from supporting roles in the workplace (secretary/assistant) to wanting to be office managers and the like – some out of desire, some out of necessity (see aformentioned choices).

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
3:18 pm

Good one, swiss!

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
3:19 pm

Slim – My mother had a keen sense of smell too! She would drive us crazy!! She could smell something a mile away. And if after a bath or shower you were not squeaky clean, she would notice and call you on it!LOL!!

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
3:20 pm

HAPPY B-DAY, RAQI

i'm swiss

April 3rd, 2012
3:22 pm

Mrs. Swiss could be one of those bomb-sniffing dogs at the airport with her acute sense of smell. Luckily, I smell goooooooooood. (Well, most of the time) :lol:

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 3rd, 2012
3:22 pm

Cont’d

That generation of women raised the 80s babies as single mother – especially by the time Reaganomics hit. So now you have a (my) generation with no fathers in the home, via either parents choices or larger constructs – Vietnam, prison, drugs.

These ladies didn’t fold, they pushed on. Some had families, some didn’t; some made good choices about the men they brought around their children, some didn’t.

But what my generation saw was women working taking care of their families – not really discussing with kids about the choices they or their husbands/sperm donors made; either out of propeity, shame, or frankly not enough time/nonya bidness.

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
3:23 pm

Dan – Ya dang right, and after getting 2 degrees I’ll be dang if I’m gonna be some office manager. How about we take that “office” part off. We running this ish!!LOL!!!

disco

April 3rd, 2012
3:26 pm

kimmie – and I envisioned the masses standing behind you with fists pumping. girl you bout to be starting something.

“do the ladies run this mutha sucka”….

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
3:28 pm

disco – “Who run the world? GIRLS!” :lol: :lol:

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 3rd, 2012
3:29 pm

Cont’d

By the late 80s early 90’s the Boomers have raised a generation in a world different from theirs.

No longer (generally) can one salary maintain a household; depending on the job it may take 2 – 4. Maybe there’s a father in the house, but he and mom have to work. If there isn’t one, then mom is getting by (typically with the help of family). **note: I’ve purposely stopped talking about the choice that led to negative outcomes – because frankly, I don’t know any.***

But, nonetheless, there’s a generation of males and females that are seeing that their parents work hard to maintain their lifestyles.

At that point, it’s on the kid. Are you selfish and expect mom/dad or just mom to do everything for you? Or do you get on your grind (be it house work, etc) to help out? Do you even realize it at the time? Or do you make decisions with negative consequences because you can, potentially perpetuating a cycle?

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 3rd, 2012
3:30 pm

Cont’d (end)

Along these lines, I blame a whole lot more than ‘women’s lib.’

Velonese

April 3rd, 2012
3:34 pm

Robert you left out number “5.” as being smart. But you sound like number 1. to me mr. (using loosely) expert.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

April 3rd, 2012
3:52 pm

@Kimmie

Think Mad Men

Men working around the office with good looking secretaries, the odd ‘not so attractive’ accountant lurking.

Sheeiioot

I would argue you’re a product of that generation too. Only (and forgive the generalization and tell me if I’m wrong), your parents stressed education in response to the things they saw going on in the community/society. Your desire/capacity for 2 degrees is a almost linear result of some of the factors I mentioned.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
3:54 pm

Dan…thanks..you just added perspective for me as a child of the 70’s….and thanks also for keeping the discussion running as I am sure at first glance as I stated this sounded completely Chuavinistic, but there was a deeper discussion to be had.

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
4:10 pm

Dan – Mama was a teacher, dad a physician – you do the math! I’m absolutely a product of it. Both parents came from rather humble beginnings to, so education was definitely a way out and expected. The whole “I’m gonna marry well and become a housewife” wasn’t even presented as an option.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
4:11 pm

Just saw the additional pieces, the progression in your posts is part of the progression of the whole diatribe…What’s amazing though is, you are leading it (no knock), but I was wondering about the silencefrom the ladies, but as the conversation progressed by decade, so did the ferver, and cheerleading… and now we are at “the women run this mutha sucka, who run the world, Girls”…. which brings us full circle to men/women and the difficulty they have relating to each other. As women have become more independent, confident, and in some cases arrogant..it has changed our ability to have traditionally successful relationships because there are varying attitudes about gender roles..Its nearly at a point where the man is expected to bring his natural expectations in line with her growth, this affects our ability to relate to one another, and many Men do not know how to successfully manage this shift while remaining steadfast in his natural place….”whola, magic”

Thanks to all who particpated in this experiment.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
4:15 pm

Again Dan, not saying its right, just saying it is.

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
4:23 pm

“As women have become more independent, confident, and in some cases arrogant..it has changed our ability to have traditionally successful relationships because there are varying attitudes about gender roles..” – With much regret, I have to acknowledge this is the way we are now living. Also sorry, you had to put “arrogant” in their for the women. Women had to become more confident, independent and strong willed simply because they too had to survive. If the world was the same where the woman could stay at home and DEPEND on their man, they probably would. But with the increasingly disappearing act of many of the men back then, woman had to lean on herself and her abilities. Please, when talking this diatribe, remember to put that in your analysis of how the role of man and woman have declined!

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
4:23 pm

Jake – Hey, folks need to figure it out! I had the attitude that if I’m expected to work and bring home a paycheck, it may as well be a decent paycheck. I won’t get that flipping burgers. At no time during my education did any of the teachers tell us girls we couldn’t be anything we wanted to be, so they got the memo. In grad school there were some classes where I was the only woman. Had no issues. I can’t say it’s been smooth sailing, but a lot of society HAS adapted. It also helps that my husband is progressive-minded as well. We both fully support the dreams of each other. Nobody feels belittled. I have no trouble being the supportive, and yes submissive helpmate. He’s the head of the household and one I can put my full faith in. The best of all worlds.

The train has left the station, but some are having a hard time catching up!

kimmie

April 3rd, 2012
4:26 pm

Leggs – Amen! You do what you have to do!! The kids gotta eat and so do you!

Lead, follow or get out of the way!

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
4:41 pm

Sassy Me...Beaming!! ;-)

April 3rd, 2012
4:44 pm

Nice posts ladies!!

You do what you have to do!! The kids gotta eat and so do you!

Lead, follow or get out of the way!

real talk worth repeating…

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
4:45 pm

Kimmie, Leggs-I agree with you guys, this is just part of my theory on what has happened between men/women. I agree that there has been a dissappearing act by many man, of course there are additional factors, (drugs,prison-the systematic of these two, poor education, etc…)

I am actually much more progressive then you may think from some my posts, but I also recognize that all ties to past are not bad, some may be preferred. Its a difficult case to pinpoint, guess that why we hang out together daily working on it….hehehe

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
4:46 pm

Hey Sassy….seen anything else worth repeating today…lol

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
4:49 pm

I hear you, Jake. Thanks. That’s just a smidget of my theory as well.

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
4:57 pm

“With much regret, I have to acknowledge this is the way we are now living”

Leggs, by the way, I actually appreciate you acknowledging this, I”ve been teetering on this ledge all day, not much rope thrown, Dan threw one, but snatched it when I was reachin, I dayum near fell!

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
5:03 pm

Your comment about the women here being silent set me in motion. There are so many variables we can discuss on the decline of communication between men and women. There also are many other variables that has helped foster that same communication. All it takes is two people who are evely yoked for each other and relationship issues are a piece of cake….

Only can lead and it should be the man, but that’s not always possible….

Leggs

April 3rd, 2012
5:04 pm

I did notice the life line Dan threw to you…

Slim's got the fever!

April 3rd, 2012
5:13 pm

I’m working a little late

Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB

April 3rd, 2012
5:22 pm

I was pushin it a bit today, but I do hope it at least caused some thought, whether negative or positive. I will be knder, gentler Jake tommorrow, well depends on the topic.

Me too Slim