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Archive for March, 2012

Should couples keep secrets?

When you have been together for a really long time, you begin to figure out what needs to be done to keep the peace in realtionships. A married couple once told me that sometimes total honesty has no place in a relationship! Obviously, you don’t want to hide the fact that you have another spouse or anything, but are there some secrets that couples should keep?

I always believed that I would marry my best friend. Someone I could share everything with, but I am starting to wonder if I am being naive. Why should a couple keep things from each other? What does it mean when it becomes a habit? How do you know what needs to be said, shared, or revealed versus what needs to be kept a secret?

Have you ever wished that you actually had less honesty in a relationship? Do you think that a couple that keeps secrets will eventually end up harming the relationship more than helping it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Facebook reveals two wives

Did you hear the one about the guy with two wives busted on Facebook? It’s not a joke! It actually happened, once again proving that Facebook has become a blessing and a curse in many relationships, as many of us can attest to.

What I find really interesting in this particular story is that a general background check may or may not have provided any information about this bigamist. It makes you really think about how well we really know the people we date and ultimately marry!

When it comes to determining who is lying to you, do you think you are a good judge of character? Do you think asking more questions or doing a “thorough” background check is something that should or will become standard dating protocol for single people?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Facebook reveals two wives »

Dating: Domestic skills required?

A reader sent me an article that asked, “Would you rather date a guy who can fix your car or fix his hair?” Obviously, women like well-rounded men. The idea here, though, is that he would be good with his hands but not when it comes to “manly” things.

I wondered if domestic skills such as repairing things, cooking, or having knowledge of how to run a household was still something single people sought out. I know a lot of men who want to marry a woman who can cook, preferably like their Mother did. Those same men aren’t that handy with a hammer though.

Do you think that we are different from our parents in that we require less “homemaking” skills in our potential mates?

Would it bother you if someone you dated was not a good cook, or good with cars, or had other basic skills needed to make a home run?

Does this kind of thing even show up on our radars when we are “sizing” each other up?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

Continue reading Dating: Domestic skills required? »

Dating: Act your age!

When you start dating someone new, you probably pay attention to how mature they are. While it is important to know you can have fun with them, you also should know they can handle their business. As in, grown up business: working, taking care of responsibilities, etc.

I meet a lot of single people who say they thought they were dating an adult but it was their “representative” that was the adult. The reality was they behaved like a spoiled child when they didn’t get their way. Or they had the emotional maturity of a teenager.

Have you ever met someone really great but just didn’t act his age? How do you know when you are a dating a man or a boy? How can you tell if she is a woman or a young girl pretending to be a grown up?

Shouldn’t maturity – or lack of- be a real deal breaker in dating? Why do so many of us stick with those immature people then complain about their …immaturity?

Has anyone ever told you that you needed to grow up? Did you take heed and take a look at …

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Dating: Women more open minded?

While everyone has their preferences about what they are attracted to, it seems as if women are more open minded than men. Even when we have the type that turns our head, a guy with a kind heart and great personality could definitely win us over.

When it comes things such as weight and height, some people stick to the same exact type. Just the other day, I asked my guy friend if he noticed that his last three serious romantic interests could be triplets, he looked at me like I had three heads! He didn’t even notice his pattern.

Maybe it’s just my circle of friends, but a quick mental run through of all the relationships and the women showed more “variety” then the men. In my completely unscientific poll, I can’t help but think this is related to being more open-minded.

Do you think women are open minded when it comes to picking dates, being attracted to all types, etc.?

Guys, have you noticed that you stick to a certain body type, look, or physical prototype when you …

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Dating: The Oh No, No List

Happy Friday! I am in great need of humor this week so I want to share this clip from NBC’s Parks and Recreation. It is funny…and kind of true!

The clip shows the character, Tom, talking about his Oh No, No list. If someone he is dating does anything on the list…it could result in an immediate breakup – harsh, but FUNNY.

Single people are notorious for having outrageous, ridiculous, – completely not based in reality, dating lists. We convince ourselves that some things just prove or disprove compatibility.

I can think of my top offenses to put on my Oh No, No lists but I will wait to read yours first. What quirky, totally unique things do you secretly judge dates on? Would you say Oh No, No to someone who hated jazz? Would it be an instant break up if they couldn’t use chopsticks?

Keep it light and fun. We can all act like “judgey jerks” at one time or another, may as well laugh about it!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

Continue reading Dating: The Oh No, No List »

Do you dress up for dates?

A friend of mine recently had a first date with a man she met through mutual friends. The first time she saw him was at a fundraiser so he was dressed to the nines. The night of their first date he was understandably less formal, but he also looked a lot like a “17 year old aspiring rapper” ….and he’s 38.

They had plans to get dinner and a concert, so she was confused that he showed up in a track suit looking ensemble. You can imagine how awkward it was – her in heels, him in sneakers.

Do you think we spend less effort in getting dressed up for dates?

Have you ever dated someone who didn’t dress “age appropriately” or turned you off with their attire? Would you say something to them or keep it to yourself?

Do you dress to impress when you take someone out?

What is the best attire for a first date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Do you dress up for dates? »

Marriage: What do men look for in a wife?

Lately I have been seeing the question, “Do you think you are wife material?” popping up everywhere. I hear it at church, on dates, and even at a bar! So apparently, single women should know the answer to this. Well, I don’t know, so I have no perfect answer.

Every guy seeks out different traits that they believe they want in a wife. I don’t know if they always get every single thing they want. I have noticed the men that I know who are happily married ended up with someone who had most, if not all the traits they were seeking.

For the men who actually want to marry one day, what are you looking for?

Ladies who want to marry, do you believe you have the traits of a “wife”? If so, how do you show this to the men that you date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Marriage: What do men look for in a wife? »

Is physical attraction enough?

If two people are physically attracted to each other, does that always translate to sexual compatibility? I ask because a friend of mine is surprised that things didn’t go well with his new girlfriend who he is “extremely attracted” to.

They have been seeing each other exclusively for months and their chemistry was off the charts – outside the bedroom, but inside…not so much.

I don’t think physical attraction alone means that compatibility is automatic, although it is great when that happens. Maybe it is one of those inexplicable things that is unpredictable.

Do you think that things should just click because you are physically, emotionally, and intellectually attracted to someone?

What would you do if your couple chemistry fizzles in the bedroom?
I don’t think it is a deal breaker…at all, but I can tell my friend is worried about it. Could you dump someone for this or could you put in a little work and make it better?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

Continue reading Is physical attraction enough? »

Dating dilemma: Reputation management issues?

This city may have a lot of people living here, but that doesn’t mean six degrees of separation can’t become a major issue on the dating scene. If you do a lot of grimy things to people in an attempt to sow your wild oats, it’s only a matter of time before you are faced with your bad behaviors.

Whether you are confronted by a scorned ex in Virginia Highlands or put blast on some social media network, or shady behavior, your reputation can become a bit of a calling card – good or bad.

So what do you do when you are dating someone who has “reputation management issues” and you really like them? Do you listen to the horror stories about them and cut things off or give them a shot to disprove the bad rap?

Have you ever had a reputation management issue? Did you ever have to explain to your date why someone is still raging mad at you for something you did in the past?

At what point should we let our past dating mistakes stop influencing our current romances?

Happy Monday!

By …

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