Know why you got dumped?
Imagine dating someone for a couple of weeks and believing things were progressing to something serious, then the person up and disappears. There is no explanation, no message, no post-it note, no text message.
Now, most people move on and wonder from time to time what happened. Then there are those who sort of go out of their way to get an answer because they think they deserve to know.
Do you think it is important to know why you got dumped? I think this may be something that women struggle with more than guys. I rarely hear men complain about the disappearing acts of women they are interested in.
Why is it so hard to let someone know they are not the one? If you knew the reason you were dumped, do you think it would be helpful to know?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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285 comments Add your comment
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:32 pm
Leggs I had okra and tomatoes with rice as my side and it was yummy!
ITL I love potato salad but none today~ Had potato salad the other day with some ribs from Ms Betty’s it was yummy! LOL
Into the Light
March 29th, 2012
2:32 pm
@Swiss: I’ll bring you the paddle you like…you know the one with the little fringe-y things on the end?
LOL@disco. Now I’m thinking about Miss Mary Mack (mack mack) All dressed in black (black black)
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
2:33 pm
WillieD – You okay?? I have brown paper bags if you need any…lol I say your two little ladies are falling in line just perfectly
That’s right daddy, wash your hands…lol BTW, vacation sundresses automatically comes with flip flops, floppy hats and sunglasses. Just want you to brace yourself it might not be over yet…lol
ITL – If anyone mention poles at tryouts, you might wanna take a pass.
ITL – Let’s just hope WillieD’s tryouts won’t include poles.
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
2:35 pm
Lady – Where did you get ribs the other day?
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
2:36 pm
Oh no, Lady, don’t say “popping back in…”
5, 4 , 3, 2, 1…
Into the Light
March 29th, 2012
2:36 pm
@Willie D: You better listen to Cely, she’s telling you right about the accessories. And about these tryouts….what if I don’t want to be on the team, per se, I just want an allowance?
@Cely: Oh, lawd….a friend of mine had one in her basement for “workouts”…those things are no joke!
Into the Light
March 29th, 2012
2:37 pm
@Lady: Speaking of okra and tomatoes, it’s almost time for ITL to put on her overalls and get to plantin’…
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:38 pm
Ms Betty’s House of Ribs off Bouldercrest East Atlanta a straigh hole in the wall and her food is slammin’ and she is fixing your plate just as sweet as she can be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reminds me of Ms Ann’s Hamburger shack they look to be the same age too but Ms Betty ain’t fussin like Ms Ann lol
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:39 pm
share your produce ITL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love veggies and sesonal veggies rock!
Slim's got the fever!
March 29th, 2012
2:39 pm
Lady – It really is getting to be unbearable and I’d hate to let her have it. HUMBLE YOURSELF I SAY!
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:40 pm
ITL how bout a potato sack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smdh gots to be more careful LOL
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
2:41 pm
ITL – I know right…I have a friend that took classes from Poleatez (or however you spell it) and she LOVES it.
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:42 pm
Slim the dear person I want to punch and say kiss my azz is that person who knows it all and just gets on my damn nerves! May can’t get here fast enough. I am very flexible but I ain’t never seen the likes of her. if we was in college and she was my roommate ir would be ugly that’s all
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
2:42 pm
@Celisea ~ of course it’s not over, wear are the new bathing suits???
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
2:42 pm
Thanks Lady
Into the Light
March 29th, 2012
2:43 pm
@Lady: I’ve heard about Ms. Betty. I gotta check her out.
And you know I will share!! I can’t wait for some fresh squash, okra, tomatoes….YUM!
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
2:44 pm
where are…
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:45 pm
ITL that is a meal within itself no meat is needed! just some sweet tea LOL
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:46 pm
oh maybe a cornbread fritter lol
Slim's got the fever!
March 29th, 2012
2:46 pm
Lady – If I win this lotto then you can only imagine the things that would come up out of this sweet ole mouth of mine
jkbnr
Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB
March 29th, 2012
2:47 pm
what is happening in here today? how ya’ll doing? Head Nod MLB, blog roses to the ladies.
Into the Light
March 29th, 2012
2:48 pm
Girl, I made some cornbread fritters the other night that were so good I wanted to kiss myself. I’d put some beans in the crockpot with a hambone and some onion…. Lawd have mercy. I was in a little bit of country heaven.
Speaking of country (bluegrass) R.I.P. Earl Scruggs.
Light
March 29th, 2012
2:50 pm
I believe in most situations if someone does a fadeaway or disappearing act, it’s more them than the person they left without explanation. It could be they are hiding something, an ex came back into their life, they weren’t ready for the feelings they were getting, or they met someone else. It would be decent and courteous to let the person know that its not going to work, but I agree with a post earlier that folks should never take it personal because being left probably wasn’t about them anyway. And most grown folks know what they need to work on for a healthy relationship so whether that is the reason or not, it’s still a cowardly way to handle thins.
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:51 pm
SLim I don’t play the lotto so I will never win sadly lol smh so that means poor and all she got a cussin’ out coming!
Into the Light
March 29th, 2012
2:51 pm
WTH?!?!?!??!
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:51 pm
hey Jake!
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:52 pm
lololol too funny ITL!~
Into the Light
March 29th, 2012
2:53 pm
Dang, somebody stole part of my moniker. I mean, good post and all, Light, but dang. You couldn’t have picked another name?!?!?
Lady~
March 29th, 2012
2:54 pm
Okay good people! until in the morning be easy! ~peace
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
2:54 pm
What’s even funnier, is two people who don’t play the lottery stopped at my desk and gave me their possible winning numbers to play for them. Now, that’s straight up hypocrisy.
Fion
March 29th, 2012
2:55 pm
Aye man, I wanna ask y’alls opinion on something. I have a buddy who has a girlfriend of a 1.5 or so. She wrecked her car,
I think she blew the engine. Anywho, he’s been letting use one of his spare cars and he’s thinking of helping her buy a car.
He asked my opinion and I said no. He asked me why I thought that and I said:
1. She did’nt ask you for that help
2. You said she’s got financial problems.
3. You know that just ain’t my thang.
What do you guys think??? Should he help her buy a car or should he buy it out right?
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
2:55 pm
Hey Light, are you kin to Into The Light???
Velonese
March 29th, 2012
2:57 pm
Haven’t had that problem yet, all the ladies that I have dated have had the nads to tell me why, which is appreciated. And I have done the same when I break up with them, but you know some people like making things hard or the person they are dating is crazy so I guess that’s why some don’t say anything.
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
2:58 pm
First and foremost #!
He’s being overly kind, but if there aren’t any, any, ANY strings attached and he’s in position to do so, then do so. The blessing will come back to him.
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
3:00 pm
That would be first and foremost = #1
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
3:02 pm
I say he can go two ways…help her out and draw up a contract for when/how she’ll repay. If she truly need the help, she’ll be willing to give him back his money. I see nothing wrong with making it legally clear and termed that he wants it back.
or
He can do it out of the kindness of his heart.
Into the Light, Esquire
March 29th, 2012
3:05 pm
I’m with Cely. Make sure it’s WELL understood if it’s a gift or a loan, and that BOTH parties buy into the terms. Personally, I think it’s asking for trouble, but that’s just me.
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
3:06 pm
Funny, Celisea cuz I only looked at your #2. Like I said, unless she asked for help him drawing up a contract may put her in further financial constraints.
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
3:06 pm
And why was my comment awaiting moderation??
Willie Dynamite
March 29th, 2012
3:06 pm
Swiss – cool, I really wanna sit and have a brew with you man. Let’s make it happen.
Cel- them bgs are chok full of stuff. Accessories my azz. I’m sick of seeing eeceipts.
Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB
March 29th, 2012
3:07 pm
Fion- he is sharing enough buy letting her use the spare, if he feelin the need to do all that he may as well pick up a ring while he’s at it, cause she definitely aint going nowhere, and if she does, he going to feel used and abused
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
3:10 pm
ITL – I think doing “stuff” for friends may not be good but if this is his girl, either he’s gonna pick her up daily or help her out. Not that he’s obligated but can you see her riding the bus daily and him driving? Or him having the burden of toting (yes toting) her around and getting worn out by that. Then too it’s gonna have them together EVERDAY…lol
Personally, I wouldn’t do unless under legal terms.
Leggs
March 29th, 2012
3:10 pm
“…and if she does, he going to feel used and abused” – that’s why it needs to be made clear in his mind that there are no strings attached. She may not stay around.
Light
March 29th, 2012
3:11 pm
Hi Into the Light. I posted without reading all of the posts because of the topic so didn’t see the moniker. It’s the one that I always use when posting so if I post here again, I’ll use a different name to prevent any confusion. But I like your moniker.
Jake a.ka. Sweet Peeda Jeeda TWB
March 29th, 2012
3:16 pm
Leggs, he has practically given her a ride already, this is a tricky situation, it appears that he is all in, or maybe he just doing what he do, but i am not buying a car for anyone by happenstance.
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
3:16 pm
Awwwww look at Willie and Swiss about to do a meet and greet
WillieD – LOL…accesorize accessorize accessorize. Every woman on here can attest that vacay sundressess comes with accesories. Once y’all are on the sunny beaches of whatever country you’re vacationing, you’ll breath a sigh of relief in becoming agreeable with those receipts and it will all be worth it
So I’m wrong about the help HIS WOMAN OUT issue?
Into the Light, Esquire
March 29th, 2012
3:27 pm
@Cely: I see your point, but I think Firehose’sFion’s friend must have some misgivings about the situation, or he wouldn’t be asking for advice. I’m wondering, too, if they are exclusive/committed.
@Fion: I’m curious what you mean by “financial” problems. Does that mean a rough spot like with a job or is she a poor money manager??
@Light: Thanks!
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
3:28 pm
I guess so..
Too, I’ve had someone to give me money for a car and held it until I matched what he had. On top of that when he couldn’t take me car shopping, he called one of his boys to go because he wanted to make sure I had something nice but reasonable.
He volunteered.
Into the Light, Esquire
March 29th, 2012
3:29 pm
@Willie D: to quote Steel Magnolias: “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize!”
Celisea
March 29th, 2012
3:30 pm
ITL – True. I gathered he was a bit hesitant or you’re right, he would not have asked for advice. But I also think he’s probably close to her and her situation so he knows she’s probably in dire need. The other think I’m looking at is it’s his girl of 1.5 years. I would wonder though if knowing or being with her almost 2 years, I would think you’d be sure this is something you can do and your ROI (be it money paid back, eventually marrying, etc). I there with you on your point….even though his girl, he’s not sure.