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Dating mistakes: Caught snooping?

What would you do if you were invited to your date’s house for the first time and they found you snooping? One of our readers decided to go on an a fact finding mission in her date’s house. He sort of caught her red handed and she made some excuse up, but she could read the disappointment on his face!

I have to admit, I have been where she is. In my case, I suspected he wasn’t truly divorced and I turned out to be right. Had I been wrong though, I don’t know how I could have recovered. It is difficult and embarrassing to admit to someone you don’t trust them or believe what they tell you.

How do you recover from dating mistakes? If you really like someone, do you try to confess and explain?

Have you ever been caught snooping for information about your date? What did you do? How would you react if you walked in on your date snooping through your things?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

146 comments Add your comment

Lily

March 26th, 2012
5:47 am

I have never been caught snooping because I’m not a snooper. I have however definitely been where I didn’t trust someone. The extent of my searching a person is for safety reasons. I don’t go digging on people where the chances are slim to known they’ll ever be anything. I’m not looking for how much you make because I work for a living….I’m not nosey like that. That’s not only nosey but an invasion. What snoopers fail to realize is sometimes it’s reversed. I’ve known people that snooped and didn’t disclose. I’ve had people to even find my phone number AND CALL, without revealing that I was aware. That’s borderline stalker.

Lily

March 26th, 2012
7:19 am

Lily was up too early…she’s sleepy now!

Lily

March 26th, 2012
7:20 am

Lily was up too early…she’s sleepy now!

Good day!

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
8:12 am

Good Monday Morning MIA!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
8:37 am

Good Morning
I’ve caught women snooping before, I have even set some women up to fail right of the bat. A older gent taught me “its a fact of life women are born nosey” sorry ladies. I think as you guys grow older and wiser your able to control the urge to snoop but for the most part I expect a woman to be nosey to a certain extent. On the flip side there is never a good reason to snoop on a woman. If she caught you snooping in her home thats like a death sentence. you skip strike 1,2, and go to strike 3 automatically. You would need the governers pardon to be invited back.

Rick

March 26th, 2012
8:38 am

I went snooping when I started dating my girlfriend. She was in the shower and I just casually went through her nightstand. I found nipple clamps, sex toys, adult videos, handcuffs and a pair of snap in vampire teeth. Now you know why I decided to KEEP her as my girlfriend!

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
8:58 am

Good morning.

What would you do if you were invited to your date’s house for the first time and they found you snooping? I wouldn’t do this, so I have nothing to be concerned about.

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
9:03 am

Leggs~ You don’t do this now or you never snooped ever? GM.

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
9:04 am

Seriously, if you’r at our man’s home and he’s in the shower, that’s not your time to go through drawers, night stands, kitchen cabinets, couch cushions. Sit still and wait for him. If he runs to the store and leaves you at his place, sit still and remain fixated on what’s on TV!

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
9:07 am

Mr. Unknown ~ I have never snooped. Seriously, I don’t go through pockets or wallets. Never have. However, when doing laundry, I will go through pockets then.

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:09 am

So true Leggs……………………I just still still and wait shoot if you go looking you will find…………stay in your lane and all will be revealed…..most times the writing is on the wall and snooping is just confirmation of what one already suspects…………………

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
9:11 am

Cool, your a rare exception…

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:19 am

meant sit still……………….i need glasses. sigh

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:19 am

my point is let it come to you………………….

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:20 am

I am currently working on a personality disorder case study I have to assess and it tedious…………………personalty is so complex 0_o

Celisea......no such thing as "version of the truth"

March 26th, 2012
9:30 am

Hey Lady!

Intents are my biggest concerns. People that live their lives not meaning mean and ill intent in nature can’t be googled. Trust your instincts and watch for the truth to make itself known.

People can only fake for so long. So if there’s something there, all in time. Like I’ve said before, I’ll google for the intent of making sure technical stuff checks out. But trying to determine if you’re rotten to the core? Nah, you’ll make that known for me.

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:32 am

Hi there C!!!!! The truth is the truth huh C~

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
9:32 am

Dating mistakes.. I have given mixed signals. Recovered by being more consistent with my approach and wording. Old mistakes.. Judging someone to early or labeling them.

Celisea......no such thing as "version of the truth"

March 26th, 2012
9:33 am

Lady – How was your weekend?

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
9:35 am

@Mr.Unknown ~ my philosophy is much like Lady described at 9:09.

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
9:36 am

It must be tedious, Lady. It’s affecting your spelling (lol).

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:38 am

C it was challenging with classes…………..dealing with personality disorders ironically and go figure sis……..#smirk…….I have to do a couple of case studies then I can get ready for spring break and to cut up with up @ our ladies lunch! ;-)

How was your weekend?!?

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:39 am

Leggs I looked @ that word several times and said whatever yall will get it lol my brain is fried lol

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:42 am

Oh C thanks for see my point for my 9:09 it is what it is sis lol but you know this

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
9:43 am

I hear you Leggs, but thats unfortunately not the norm. Good thought process though.

Celisea......no such thing as "version of the truth"

March 26th, 2012
9:43 am

My weekend was fantab….gotta drop you a little something via email…so look for that.

Sorry about the grueling weekend but look at it like this…this time next week, we’ll be revving up for our ladie’s luncheon :)

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
9:46 am

@Mr.Unknown ~ that was another concern of mine, being set up to snoop so I thought it best to never make it a practice of mine. If you don’t mind, give an example or two of how you’ve set up a woman to snoop.

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:49 am

yep C!!!!! I am bout to get this ish done so I can come out and play honey! LOL

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
9:50 am

Lady~ “I am currently working on a personality disorder case study” Good job!

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
9:51 am

And, Mr. Unknown, has anyone ever not taken the bait? How did you feel? Did you try a second time?

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
9:51 am

Mr U you can do it for me and it will be even better! ;)

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
9:54 am

Leggs~ booby trapped the medicine cabinet, so when its open it makes a loud noise. All you need is floss, tape. Or I had some of my sis belongings there from when she would visit And I would see how long it would take for her to say something.

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
9:59 am

Lady~ uhh no. Leggs~ I see what your getting at, I’m not spending large amounts of time setting up this elaborate trap. If there is no tape broken on the first time cool. No need for a second time.

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
10:00 am

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
10:01 am

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
10:08 am

Lady~ what would you specialize in when you finish?. If thats not to personal

Robert

March 26th, 2012
10:10 am

How would you react if you walked in on your date snooping through your things?

Trust is a 2-way street in any relationship and “snooping” through your Man’s personal items (cell phone, email, black book, closet, kitchen, pants/coat pockets, car, etc.) are deal breakers. I would tell her that “I have a headache” and ask her to put her clothes on and leave my house. Good nite.

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
10:11 am

Severe pathological disorders (population adults but prob make more money with kids sadly), teach ethics and human growth, and consult with EAP Programs doing workshops here and there…………

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
10:14 am

I don’t want to do marriage counseling or work with personality disorders but Mr. U those situations are more prevalent than ever O_0 lol

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
10:15 am

so really crisis management is my expertise and I want to do research and complete my ED.S in counseling along the way

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
10:16 am

Thats a good look!

Mr. Unknown

March 26th, 2012
10:16 am

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
10:17 am

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
10:19 am

Going through cell phones is comical to me. Heightened insecurity and seeking drama to sustain one’s life. If you look, you will find. Every contact will not be known to you, what you deem to be a code may in fact not be a code. Stirring up unnecessary strife simply because you have trust issues. Naw, can’t go into a relationship like that.

Lady~

March 26th, 2012
10:23 am

Leggs you ever gotten a random text from someone you’ve dealt with that just didn’t make any sense @ all and you follow up weeks later to learn it was a snooping spouse! #awkward dead too…smh if you snooping you already know your mate is suspect and not being 100% honest

that happen to me once. I never responded to the text bc it was so weird. they saw what had happen and was blowing me up trying to explain it was such and such and she “crazy” sigh lol

The tangle web we weave when we practice to deceive~

kimmie

March 26th, 2012
10:27 am

Morning All!

An old boyfriend set up a few lame booby-traps(the tape on the drawer mess) when he left me alone to grab us some food. I did not touch a thing, was still sitting in the same spot when he got back. He was shocked I didn’t go in his things and told me so. I told him I wasn’t raised that way. It floored him though, so I guess I was the first not to do so.

My mom had us terrified to touch any of her or dad’s things, to the point that when she died I still felt weird going thru her things to sort out. She used to tell us being nosey would have us finding something she didn’t want to see. I’ve actually become just like her because I go ballistic when anyone goes in my closet or drawers. The kids & hubby are trained. They tell me if they have to go in something, like the house alarm box is in my closet, so hubs has had to go in there, but he tells me when he does.

I have not gone in my hubs things ever and we are married. I don’t want it done to me, so I don’t do it to others.

Yeah, I know I may be the exception.

kimmie

March 26th, 2012
10:33 am

Leggs – Your 10:19, we see eye-2-eye.

It’s just so tiring to live that way anyway. I’m a very busy person, so when I have free time I don’t use it looking for trouble. I do my due-diligence in the beginning, when we first start seeing each other. That’s the time to really get to know, ask the right questions, don’t rush into the physical, see if he’s a man of his word. Under the surface stuff will be revealed rather quickly if you pay attention. After that, what he has in his medicine cabinet or under the bed will be irrelevant.

kimmie

March 26th, 2012
10:35 am

correction – Mom told us we may stumble on something WE might not want to see by being nosey.

Robert

March 26th, 2012
10:37 am

“How do you recover from dating mistakes?”

Whenever I meet someone new I use my past as my guide to avoid mistakes. Know that I am older and much more mature I choose my dates carefully. For example a created a simple fact finding checklist to help me figure out the who, what and how to avoid dating mistakes.

NEW WOMAN TEST – Scale

1. Appearance (hair, body, face, clothes, etc.)
2. Maturity (age appropriate)
3. Communication Skills (read, write, hear, etc.)
4. Adaptability (changes to lifestyle)
5. Kids (How Many)
6. Relationship Status (Married, Divorced, etc.)
7. Family (Mother, Father, etc.)
8. Church (Faith, Service, etc.)
9. Physical Fitness (health, diet, exercise)
10 Career (Income, investments, retirement)

Ladies, just for fun “test” yourself and let’s see what the numbers reveal.

Leggs

March 26th, 2012
10:39 am

@Lady ~ never got a strange text from a spouse, but I have gotten a phone call (lol). Not pretty.