Dating: Generosity make you uncomfortable?
My friend Joe told me about a woman he met recently who has a little hang up when it comes to accepting kind gestures, compliments, gifts from him. She told him that she is not accustomed to generous men, so when he shows that side to her she gets uncomfortable.
It is sad to think that women aren’t used to a guy pursuing them and treating them with kindness and generosity, but I have met a lot of women like this. It becomes that old self-fulfilling prophecy behavior thinking “If it is too good to be true, it probably is” or does the generosity come with strings?
Have you ever met or dated someone who is put off by generosity? Do you ever feel uncomfortable when someone showers you with romantic gifts?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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353 comments Add your comment
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:00 pm
ITL – Now you, me, Sassy and disco burying him in the backyard??? No problem seeing that
This would be the other option…lol My intergrity or him…what’s it gonna be?
disco
March 22nd, 2012
3:00 pm
say what you will about dmx but I was feeling that song. somebody was working his last nerve. y’all gone make me – go all out, lose my mind, act a fool, lose my cool – up in here. no wonder he said they were gone be staring at the roof of the church.
Bluzgirl
March 22nd, 2012
3:00 pm
ITL…right now, I’m trying pit rescues first. If not successful, I’ll branch out. I have a few feelers out. There is no way I could take him to a kill shelter. I love animals too much and my friend would haunt me if I did!!!
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:00 pm
Bye Lady!!!
kimmie
March 22nd, 2012
3:01 pm
disco – That’s the only thing I like about him – that song!LOL!!!
Some red-eyed thug? No thank you!!!
Slim's got the fever!
March 22nd, 2012
3:03 pm
He’s a hardcore looking thug
Well, she’s a bit on the rough side as far as looks go too…but ain’t da one to gossip so you ain’t heard that from me
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:04 pm
I don’t think I’ve seen his wife. Really I wouldn’t expect no less for him. Although….. money makes the oddest couples.
disco
March 22nd, 2012
3:08 pm
kimmie – I did like ruff ryder’s anthem too.
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
3:09 pm
Now you, me, Sassy and disco burying him in the backyard??? No problem seeing that
COSIGN!!!
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:13 pm
I think last week we dismembered a dude for peeing on us. Now you know all out ho-ing calls for shovels and holes…lol
kimmie
March 22nd, 2012
3:15 pm
Celisea – Go on essence.com and click on that article I mentioned. They have a pic of the lovely couple!
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:18 pm
Kimmie – Yeah, she’s not “over the top” and “suited” for him in the looks department.
i'm swiss
March 22nd, 2012
3:19 pm
ITL — “and I can still hear her complain…”
Now, ain’t that a b!tch?
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
3:22 pm
She could’ve kept that interview to herself. After looking at the way he treated her last night….a muh fugga woulda got cut…woosaaaaah….woooosaaaaaah!!!!!!
She claims she takes her wedding vows VERY seriously but geeze…what else has to happen before she gets a clue?!?!?
Slim's got the fever!
March 22nd, 2012
3:22 pm
My fav DMX song is “Slippin”
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
3:29 pm
Slim I like that collabo he had with Dru Hill…What y’all really want from a ni##a…he’s got some other joints I like but the man is disturbed. His Behind the Music episode is SAD…he talks about how his mom beat him til she was tired, being so hungry one time he drank perfume.. He definitely didn’t have an ideal childhood…alot of us didn’t but we weren’t abused like nasty dogs either. He’s got unresolved issues.
disco
March 22nd, 2012
3:30 pm
sassy – I didn’t see dmx behind the scenes but I did watch whodini on unsung the other day. I enjoyed it. forgot about the song “funky beat” until they played it on the show.
Row 125, seat 11B
March 22nd, 2012
3:32 pm
Bluzgirl, take the dog to PAWS Atlanta…They are a no kill facility and will keep him until he passes or is adopted…..
Into the Light
March 22nd, 2012
3:32 pm
LOL@Swiss. Literally, I think, because the song was written for his dog, n’est pas?
Into the Light
March 22nd, 2012
3:33 pm
@Sassy, Celisea, and disco: What kinda shoes do we wear for grave digging?!?!?!?!?!
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:34 pm
I typed a long post…dern it.
On my cousin that went back to her philandering, abusive (mentally and physically) husband. Up and divorced and married another on her, took her daughter (the son wouldn’t go). When they were in school and she’d just like, would do things like withdrawn them and change schools without her knowing. She never knew how to fight back. All she would do is cry. Now that the daughter is 19 and well known for ho-ing. Have contracted something that keeps her in the hospital, he tugged at her to come back because he couldn’t do a thing with her. And like the dummy she’s always been, she fell for it.
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:37 pm
ITL – Graveyard stompers…lol
And what I didn’t like about it, the daughter went with him, the son grew up and got married and she sold her home to move in with her grandmother that raised her. Cause her mama was never nowhere to be found. She saved her money and paid none of the bills for the last two months and up and left. Didn’t sit down like a woman and tell granny she was moving. Just disappeared. Now all I can say is buddy must be packing something grand because during the time of her leaning on us (other cousins) while going through….cause all she EVA did was cry, he did everything to and on her…shy of sh!tting and spitting.
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
3:37 pm
What kinda shoes do we wear for grave digging?!?!?!?!?!
Leggs
March 22nd, 2012
3:38 pm
@Row 125 ~ I’m a volunteer at P.A.W.S and didn’t even think of them.
I feel sorry anybody in a marriage and only one person takes the vows seriously. I now see why we have that show S N A P P E D cuz I would snapped on his a$$ along time ago. Not really, I would have walked away a long time ago.
i'm swiss
March 22nd, 2012
3:40 pm
ITL — Oh, the dog… Of course, it’s about the dog. Yeeeeeeeeah, that’s the ticket.
kimmie
March 22nd, 2012
3:41 pm
I’m sorry about your effed up childhood, but it’s not anybody’s obligation to suffer for it, not your wife or girlfriend, not your kids. Get the help you need so you can be a functioning member of society.
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:41 pm
Not only was he abusive, she suffered a menta breakdown some years ago and to this day she will not tell what caused. All we know is it was something between them. All I can guess is that she caught him with another man. I talking broken, wearing pampers, institutionalized. I would be typing all day if I told it all. It was THAT grandmother who wasn’t so aged that went to her rescue and took her in until she was on the mend.
I saw her this morning with that little wench of a daughter. I was polite, waved and kept going.
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
3:41 pm
Now all I can say is buddy must be packing something grand
That is suuuch a naive, rookie move…pros know how to handle a good hammer..
disco
March 22nd, 2012
3:44 pm
leggs – snapped is just a good title. you ever notice most of those chicks were cold blooded and calculating? they were plotting, scheming, planning and premeditating the mess out of their crimes. then when they get their plan together it was like they said to themselves “the next time he does it” I’m going to get him.
kimmie – ditto. and wifey needs to quit whining (about whatever y’all are talking about because I haven’t seen/read anything). she knew who she was marrying. dmx doesn’t seem the type to put on a good boy front. my guess is he was ignorant right out the gate and for what it’s worth – I respect that.
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
3:44 pm
Leggs I would’ve walked away…AFTER I’ve snapped. I don’t know the magnitude of said snapping but there would’ve been some type convo about how I felt or something before I bounced.
I saw her this morning with that little wench of a daughter. I was polite, waved and kept going
Good for you Celi..
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:44 pm
Sassy – Sho nuff. After all that crap, you can’t lay down well enough for me to lay there 2 seconds.
The sad thing was, when she left him she was a size 4. She was “not allowed” any bigger. WTH!!! I wonder what he’s gonna do. She’s a pumpkin right now. Bet he have her in the gym. Oh, and hair couldn’t get messed up either. She was not allowed to go nappy.
I’m not exaggerating. Buddy had her out there. I guess so, he snatched her back. Big Dummy
Bluzgirl
March 22nd, 2012
3:44 pm
@Leggs…can you get me someone to talk to about the dog or should I just bring him there? My email is bluzgirl79@gmail.com
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:46 pm
Alright, I gotta hit the gym
Been doing that here of late (again) and feeling good. I just hate my hair was permed Saturday. I had to ride with my windows down and air dry on the way home.
Into the Light
March 22nd, 2012
3:52 pm
Swiss: The dog thing is an urban legend?? Hunh. Learn something new everyday.
Grave stompers! LOL
Good suggestion, Row!!
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
3:53 pm
Have a good workout Celi…I don’t get my hair relaxed ’til next week so you already know what I’m dealing with…try to picture a sista on the treadmill runnin all cute. Just enough to break a lil sweat but not enough to get dripping wet.
i'm swiss
March 22nd, 2012
3:56 pm
ITL — Actually, I don’t know. It could be about a dog, I just prefer to think not.
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
3:56 pm
Thanks Sassy…It don’t take much for me to breakout in a sweat. It takes me a good 20/30 minutes to cool down. Usually it doesn’t hit me until I’m done…that’s when the sweating really start.
i'm swiss
March 22nd, 2012
3:57 pm
Aw, c’mon, Sassy. Nothing wrong with getting dripping wet.
Slim's got the fever!
March 22nd, 2012
3:59 pm
Cel – I just permed my hair last weekend and dreaded going to the gym just for that fact. Sometimes I want to just shave it all off and be done with it.
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
4:00 pm
Uni-baller, seeing that you are married to a sister I thought you’d know how it works with our hair. That being said, no I don’t mind getting dripping wet…for a good cause
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
4:00 pm
okay didn’t mean to bold the whole thing
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
4:01 pm
I feel you Slilm..it’s times like that where I wish I had braids or dreadlocks…
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
4:02 pm
Slim – Don’t you just hate it. It’s like a waste of money. I had to bump my hair with the flat iron. I’m about to pin it up and just go. I’ll wash it Saturday to give it a fresh look. But danggit that’s money down the drain.
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
4:02 pm
okay and didn’t mean to jack up your moniker Slim
Celisea
March 22nd, 2012
4:04 pm
The thing that helps me through it is I can plug my ear phones and watch t.v….lol
If I’m not distracted, I won’t make it through. Alright…45 minutes on the treadmill.
Into the Light
March 22nd, 2012
4:07 pm
Uniballer Isn’t that a pen???
@Sassy: I think Swissy was predicting rain south of the border….
i'm swiss
March 22nd, 2012
4:08 pm
Sassy — Yeah, I know how it works w/ the hair.
Although, Mrs. Swiss doesn’t really spend much on her hair. Does her own perms at home when necessary (which I usually pick up for her & get plenty of funny looks) & just goes w/ me to Great Clips for a cheap trim every now & then.
disco
March 22nd, 2012
4:11 pm
sassy – since I’ve been natural with the hair I’ve tried hard not to turn into one of those folks that is always trying to convert other folks but it’s times like this that make it difficult.
Slim's got the fever!
March 22nd, 2012
4:16 pm
okay and didn’t mean to jack up your moniker Slim
Sassy – Sounds like you’ve been hitting happy hour a little early lol
Cel – I’ve gone back to perming my own hair because that was adding up. If I need a good trim, I’ll hit the salon up. Matter of fact, I recently got some layers cut in it right before Valentines.
swiss – I would probably have a question mark on my forehead if I saw you picking up some perm in the beauty store lol
Sassy Me..I'm on one! ;-)
March 22nd, 2012
4:19 pm
Swissy was predicting rain south of the border….
ITL I know he was…that’s why I said I wouldn’t mind doing it for a “good cause”
(which I usually pick up for her & get plenty of funny looks)
I’m sure you to Swiss…
Disco I don’t know if I could go natural if I weren’t wearing locks. I ain’t mad atcha though…
The closest I’ve come to seeing myself with a natural is unbraiding my hair after 3 months and washing it before the next set of braids (back when I rocked braids). Everytime I’d look in the mirror and be like
So I know I ain’t ready..